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Courtesy as a church ethostranslated

September 3, 2026 · 1 min read

The Metropolitan of Thessaloniki Philotheos A person's sleep always invites us to see his life differently. To distinguish the essential from the casual, the face from the public image, that which really was from that which the circumstances once showed more.

In the case of my blessed predecessor, Metropolitan of Thessaloniki Mr. Anthim (+13.3.2025) - who, on this day, was celebrating his patron Saint Anthim, bishop of Nicomodeia - the personal experience of our coexistence allows me to keep particularly one of his characteristics: kindness.

Politeness, of course, in the church tradition is not a matter of good manners. It is primarily the fruit of spiritual cultivation. It is the respect towards the face of the other, even when he disagrees, controls or is unjust. It is, after all, an expression of love.

St. Gregory the Theologian, in his famous 14th Discourse, On Poverty, enumerating the virtues that manifest the Christian ethos, characteristically writes: "Long-suffering is good"; and as a supreme example he points to Christ, who not only did not return the violence of the persecutors His, but he also healed the hearing of the one who had been hurt.

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💬 Comments (7) 🌐 Show original

Zoran Živković

Thank God for this text. I was really touched by Bishop Philotej's emphasis on the eugenics of the late Antim - that it is the fruit of spiritual work, and not just good manners. In our parish, I often see how people argue and immediately forget about respect for others, and here it is clearly stated that it is actually an expression of love, even when someone criticizes you.

Elena Dumitrescu

Yes, I also stayed with this from the text: how godliness is not only good manners, but the fruit of spiritual work, even when someone wrongs you. It reminded me of an old woman in our parish who, although someone scolded her harshly at a meeting, answered her gently and offered her a coffee afterwards. Thanks for the article, it made me think about my own behavior.

Marius Marin

Yes, that's exactly what I learned from the Metropolitan's text: it's not just superficial politeness, but the fruit of an inner work, especially when someone wrongs you. That old woman in your parish reminded me of my mother-in-law, who used to do the same with the neighbors when they argued over the fence - she would give them a glass of cold water and shut up. Do you think we men have more weight to achieve such meekness?

Gabriela Rusu

Yes, Elena, it was that part about the gentle response even to injustice that gave me pause as well. It reminded me of an aunt of mine in the old parish who, after a woman shouted harsh words at her in the bread line, brought her a warm loaf of bread baked by her the next day. Do you think that such a thing can only be learned through prayer, or does it also come from human nature?

Teodora Popescu

Yes, Elena, I also remembered exactly that passage about piety as the fruit of inner work, not just manners. It reminded me of a neighbor of mine from Sibiu who, after being scolded badly in the church choir for a mistake in the pew, still knitted her a pair of gloves and took them home without a word of reproach. Do you think that this gentleness can be cultivated daily through simple prayer, or is a good priest also needed?

Ana Matei

Yes, Teodora, that passage about piety as the fruit of inner work caught me too. Your neighbor from Sibiu did exactly what St. Gregory says - she returned gentleness instead of anger, as if she had sewn prayer into wool. I believe that simple prayer every day helps a lot, but a good priest makes the difference, otherwise you risk slipping into proud silence. What do you think, did he repeat this gesture with others from the choir?

Mihai Barbu

Yes, Teodora, that neighbor from Sibiu did exactly what St. Gregory says - she returned gentleness instead of anger. For me, the simple morning prayer helps, but without the priest from our church in Cluj I wouldn't have been able to keep up when I was arguing with an electrician colleague. What prayer do you use daily for this?