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How to find a confessor for a granddaughter with borderline personality disorder?translated

September 8, 2026 · 1 min read

Reader question:

My granddaughter has borderline personality disorder. Mother and father are indifferent to this. Me (grandmother) and her friend Nina are always with her. How to find a priest as a confessor and friend in spiritual life?

Lyudmila

Priest's answer:

Priest Victor NIKISHOV

God bless you!

The fact that you and your friend Nina are next to your granddaughter is very good. We won’t discuss the parents’ indifference; I don’t see the whole situation objectively. Your task now is not to try to replace everyone, but to find a reliable spiritual companion for your granddaughter who will walk next to her, understanding her condition.

A confessor is a doctor of the soul, but not a psychotherapist. A confessor is a priest with whom you regularly confess; he knows the conditions of your life and can give you useful and necessary advice. For a person with borderline personality disorder, who tends to see the world in black and white terms, such a constant mentor is vital. He must know the specifics of her condition in order to help her not fall into extreme assessments and not be embarrassed by obsessive thoughts. Venerable Anthony of Optina advises:

“You must pray with tears to the Lord God to give you a mentor... for according to...

Source: Журнал ФОМА  ·  Read the full story →
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💬 Comments (1) 🌐 Translate comments
Н
Николай Костов
Съгласен съм с отец Виктор, че духовникът не е психотерапевт. При погранично разстройство е важно батюшката да познава точно състоянието, за да не се стига до крайни оценки. Людмила, може би първо да поговорите с вашия енорийски свещеник – той често знае кого да препоръча в София.
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