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You complain that because of you, the sisters were tempted to visit you with their relatives, and you say that they also go to others; and also because of M. S. they bring temptations against you, and you grieve greatly for this, reproaching and despising your sisters. This always happens when we look at our affairs through a veil of self-love, and do not want to reproach ourselves. Visiting relatives, perhaps, tempted the sisters because it was unusual in large numbers, and lasted for quite some time: they also go to others, but they are rare and there are few of them; I told you that even a sister and brother-in-law can be tempted by frequent entry, and you gave your word not to do so more often. It is better to reproach yourself for being partial to your relatives than to blame others for seduction. Through this you will sooner calm down than by justifying yourself: here is pride, and there is humility; and St. John Climacus teaches in the 4th degree that having rejected correct or incorrect reproof, he rejected his salvation. And as for M-i, she presented a very big temptation: you could give her moral instructions, help her with property, but it was not your business to try to find a match: this tempted many, but I remained silent until the time came. Let N. S. do this, it’s fitting for her: in this you will rightly justify yourself that this did not happen; after that I will remain silent, because it is inappropriate for me to make clear arguments and statements: and from this only sedition and quarrel will arise. I say: it’s better to humble yourself and put the blame on yourself for giving the sisters a temptation, pray to God, may the Lord tell them to forgive you, but you won’t get any benefit from self-justification. Don’t think that you are smarter than others, but consider yourself last in both your mind and deeds, so that you will be justified before God. For consider yourself to be nothing (Gal.6:3); but even if there is wisdom in you, let it happen, because let him be wise, writes St. Apostle (1 Cor. 3:18). Read about pride and humility from St. Lestv. and St. Abba Dorotheus, and trust your inner feelings: you will find quite a lot of rubbish there, and little good, or even nothing. You call yourself an ass, but your word is not true; if you spoke out of humility, you would also suffer reproach from others; when how the mirror shows us, and others think about us like that and say: why should we grieve at them? Do not think that I wrote this while grieving for you, far from it, but wishing you true benefit and peace, and when you accept otherwise, God is with you. Hieromonk Macarius. July 29, 1844. You might be interested in: