Слезное прошение во вторник вечером

Alas for me, what condemnation I have fallen under, what shame I am in! My innermost is not the same as my outer; I talk about dispassion, but I myself think day and night about vile passions; Having started talking about purity, I mentally engage in lewdness. Alas, what a trial lies ahead of me! Truly, I bear on me the image of piety, and not its power. With what face will I approach the Lord God, who knows the secrets of my heart, being guilty of so many bad deeds? Standing in prayer, I am afraid that fire will come down from heaven and burn me, just as fire from the Lord once burned those who brought censer in the desert. So, what should I expect, who bears a very heavy burden of sins? My heart is burning, my pious thoughts have changed, my mind is darkened. “Like a dog” I always return to “his vomit” (Proverbs 26:11). I have no boldness before the One who searches hearts and wombs. I don't have a pure mind; I have no tears during prayer; although I sigh, I cool my face, covered with shame, I hit myself on the chest, this abode of passions, this working church of evil thoughts. Glory to Thee, the only long-suffering one! Glory to Thee, the only good one! Glory to Thee, benefactor of our souls and bodies! Great are Your mercies, O Lord, towards us sinners! Do not cast me aside with those who say to You: “Lord, Lord!” (Matthew 7:21), and do not do Your will; do not reject, through the prayers of our All-Pure Lady Theotokos and through the prayers of all who have pleased You. You know, Lord, the passions hidden in the darkness; The wounds of my soul are known to You. “Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed” (Jer. 17:14). If you, Lord, do not build the house of the soul, “those who build have labored in vain” (Ps. 127:1). I am preparing to confront the passions when they fight against me, but the malice of the serpent weakens my spiritual forces with voluptuousness. And although no one ties my hands, they drag me like a prisoner. I earnestly wish to snatch from the flame the one burning in it, and while I am gathering my strength, the smell of fire draws me into the fire. I also strive to save a drowning man, and due to inexperience I drown with him. I reproach the crippled, and yet I myself am blind. I want, poor thing, to become a doctor of passions, while I myself am in captivity of them. Enlighten, O Lord, the eyes of my heart, so that I may know the multitude of my passions. May Your grace enshrine me, O Lord, enlighten my darkened mind and, in my ignorance, instill in me Divine knowledge, “for with God every word fails” (Luke 1:37). You, Lord, for Your people once made the impassable sea passable. You gave water from the unbreakable stone to your thirsty people. You alone, in Your goodness, saved the one who fell among the robbers. According to Your great goodness, Lord, have mercy on me too, who fell into the hands of robbers and is bound like a prisoner by evil. No one is able to heal the suffering of my soul except You, Lord, who guides the depths of my heart. How many times have I, the accursed one, set limits for myself and built walls between myself and my lawless sin? But as soon as the opponents entered into a struggle with me, the mind transgressed the limits and destroyed the walls, because the limits were not brought to safety by the fear of the All-Perfect, and the walls were not based on sincere repentance. Who will not cry for me, because for a small pleasure I despised the endless fire and did not seek the eternal Kingdom? I served my passions, the unfortunate one, having destroyed the dignity of my soul, I became like cattle, and I cannot raise my eyes to the merciful Lord. I once rested enriched with talents, but now I have fallen in love with the poverty of passions. He became alien to virtues, having gone to the distant land of vice. I am half dead, and have very little life left in me. Weep, reverend and righteous, for me, consumed by passions and sins. Weep, devotees of abstinence, for me, a glutton and a sensualist. Weep, merciful and forgiving, for me, who has mercy and grieves. Weep, you who have loved good and hated evil, weep for me, who have loved evil and hated good. Weep, you who have acquired a valiant life, for me, who outwardly is a lover of virtue, but in fact is devoted to passions and careless. Weep, you who please God, for me, a people-pleaser. Weep, you who have perfect love for God and neighbor, for me, who shows love in words and is far from it in deeds. Weep, you who have gained and bear fruit in patience, for me, who am impatient and fruitless. Weep, you who shamelessly pray to God, for me, who am ashamed to look upon the heights of heaven. Weep, you who have acquired meekness, for me, who is alien to it. Weep, you humble ones, for me, the lofty and proud one. Weep, you who have acquired apostolic non-covetousness, for me, committed to material things and burdened. Weep, faithful and unshakable in heart before the Lord, for me, double-minded, weak, unskilled. Weep, you who loved crying and hated laughter, for me, who loved laughter and hated crying. Weep, containing in your mind the Judgment after death, for me, who claims that I remember the Judgment, but do the opposite. Weep, heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven, for me, heir of hellfire. Pray, saints of God, for the overwhelmed soul; Help as much as you can, saints of God. For I know that if you pray to God, the lover of mankind, everything will be given to us from the sea of ​​His goodness. And just as God loves mankind, so do you, who are begged by me, a sinner, do not despise my request, because, due to the multitude of my sins, I do not have boldness. Your job, saints of God, is to intercede for sinners, and God’s job is to have mercy on the desperate. Pray, saints of God, to the King for the captive; beg the Shepherd for a sheep; beg Life for the dead man, to send His hand and strengthen my humble soul in its striving. I fall into the bounty of Your goodness, Lord of all. Accept the sinner’s prayer, sweeten the soul saddened by sin, give drink to the thirsty from the source of life and guide me along its path. As the Master of Your servant, lead me through the Royal Doors to free me from slavery to dishonorable passions, because my heart is entangled, as it were, in iron chains. May Thy compassions precede me, O Lord, through the prayers of Thy saints, before I am dragged along with the workers of iniquity. There will be revealed what I have done in the dark and clearly. Alas, what shame will come upon me when those who now think that I am impeccable see me condemned; Having abandoned spiritual work, I, poor thing, submitted to passions. Alas, my soul, why is the sun darkened by the darkness of passions? Why is life exhausted by death? Why does the darkness not disappear when rays of light appear? Why do we prefer corruption to incorruption? Why do we allow passions to draw the soul to the earth? We have made richly woven clothing unfit for use and unworthy of a royal marriage; We voluntarily sold ourselves to sins, enslaved ourselves to the enemy of our life. What will you say to the Judge on that terrible and trembling day? Will you say: for Your sake I endured hunger, or thirst, or nakedness, or humbled myself, or loved You with all my soul? The Teacher continually cries out with boldness: he who is in power, take the bridle upon himself; whoever is in slavery, accept equality; whoever is poor, take the unstolen treasure. Why do you choose not freedom, but cramped conditions? Why are you waiting for time and not listening to reason? Why do you listen to a malicious friend and not to saving love? Why don't we help nature while we have time? While you are still the master of thoughts, while your body and mind are not exhausted, while your good is not in the hands of others, while the gift is obvious and not doubtful for you, and grace touches the depths, while your tears serve as an indication of your departure, warn, courageously stand up against the passions in God’s militia, with God’s help. Fight valiantly with Goliath, so that the robber does not warn you, the murderer does not anticipate you, and none of those who seize the Kingdom by force and predatory block your doors. We must be afraid and watch with all caution, lest we be found to have lied to our confession. If God, who is acceptable as a mediator, confirms our agreements with people, then what is the danger of being violators of them and really being guilty not only of other sins, but also of lies itself, moreover, when there is no other rebirth, reconstruction and restoration to their previous state? It’s a dangerous thing - when the market is over, then look for purchases. It is dangerous to reflect after a case and then feel the harm. After moving from here and after the bitter completion of what everyone has done in life, it is impossible to eliminate the harm. Like a publican I sigh, like a harlot I shed tears, like a thief I cry, like a prodigal son I cry to You: O loving Christ, Savior of the world, true light, strengthen my weary soul, weakened by the intoxication of voluptuousness; Heal her scabs and the delusions of my mind, wash her with Your honest Blood, blackened by the purulent blood of sin. Now is the favorable time, now is the day of salvation. According to the multitude of Thy mercy, convert me, O thou only Long-suffering One, and deliver me from all the bliss of voluptuousness. Let the furnace of passions not completely burn me, quench it with the dew of Your mercy. Alas for me! You, Lord, gave me the light of knowledge, but I rejected it. Alas for me! I have always been exhausted and exhausted, and Your grace constantly visits and heals me, but every hour I have rejected and reject the gift of healing. How many gifts, Lord, you have endowed and always endow me with, a sinner, and I, a damned one, am deliberately ungrateful. Your grace always delights, always enlightens, constantly strengthens me, but I always reject it and again revert to my bitterness. You, Most Blessed One, remind me of death, eternal torment, and always draw me to life in order to be saved; but I always remain malicious. Therefore, I will have no excuse there. I strike at the door of Thy mercy, O Lord; let it open to me. I never stop begging to get what I ask for; As persistent as I am, I seek pardon. Be patient with me, the corrupt one; deliver me from the sins that possess me; and, having become healthy, may I arise from the bed of corrupting sin. Free me from every evil deed before the end comes to me. For “in hell, who will confess to You?” (Ps.6:6). Whiten my defiled tunic before the terrible command came and overtook me, unprepared and ashamed. Deliver the contrite soul from the mouth of the lions and save it through the grace and generosity of the prayers of our All-Pure Lady Theotokos and all the saints, because blessed are You forever and ever! Amen. You might be interested in: