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New church year. Bless, O Lord, the crown of the summer of Thy goodness. I praise the Lord, for he has not yet forsaken me, but when I sought Him with my heart, I found Him, an imperishable, priceless, most holy treasure. I thank the Lord for the grace of tenderness, spaciousness and warmth of heart (after cramped conditions and cold as a result of eating meat and cod fish) given to me at the Sunday all-night vigil in the Duma Church. I thank the Lord, for he reconciled my spiritual children Nikolai Grigorievich Sidorov and Philip Stepanov with me, especially today (he took the oath). I thank and extol the Lord, who has deigned me to celebrate the Divine Liturgy today in the Duma Assumption Church and to be wonderfully revived by the Divine Mysteries of the Most Pure Body and Blood of Christ. Thank you for your boldness in performing the Sacrament of Baptism in two houses - Lavrov’s and Buranov’s. The good present cannot be considered without the connection of the past: the present foundation is laid by the past, both good and bad. This must be firmly remembered when studying church and civil history. We must thank God not only for the present [...], or for real living people, but also for those who have passed, who have prepared for us a good present. Today, in the night, an unclean demon desecrated me, many-passionate, with a nasty ghost, because I lay down on my left side and dressed myself warmer than usual in a blanket. Oh, how many sinful inclinations there are in my multi-passionate flesh and how necessary it is to mortify and enslave my body, crucifying the flesh with passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24 ]! Lord, have mercy and cleanse me, a great sinner. Their angels in heaven always see the face of My Heavenly Father [Matt. 18, 10]. Remember this when dealing with children and treat them sincerely, with warm love. Friday. I thank the Lord, who is merciful and long-suffering to me, for even today he has repeatedly shown me the miracles of His mercy, quickly hearing me and delivering me from the cramped, darkened and shameful state of my anger at the impolite Udaltsov at school and at home against my wife twice for her rudeness. O my God, grant me to love them and pray for them. Let them be kind and affectionate. Correct me too, Lord, so that I may never be angry with anyone for a moment, for my neighbors are Your members. From the poor themselves (they also have nothing to do) recruit guardianship bodies to collect donations for a mug, on which should be the inscription: Parish guardianship. (To prevent fraud by fraudsters, announce the names and surnames of the collectors in the “Bulletin.”) I myself, going around the parishioners with a cross, must recruit the leaders of the Parish guardianship, saying: I come to you as an apostle with a sermon about repentance and alms, about the eternal justice of God and about the Last Judgment; remember the multitude of love, the blessings of God towards you and the multitude of your sins; remember what God did for your salvation, but you did nothing for your salvation; if you want eternal mercy from God, have mercy on the poor; the hour of death, which means God’s judgment on us, is close to us. Atone for your sins with alms and your iniquities with the bounties of the poor (Daniel [4, 24]). Remember the eternal punishment for unrepentant and uncorrected sinners! Only alms delivers and cleanses all sin from eternal death. On Sundays and holidays, preach sermons inviting donations. Sweet tea is extremely harmful to chastity, increasing carnal voluptuousness. Avoid sweet tea, especially without food. Thy kingdom come [Matt. 6, 10]. The Lord must be king in our heart, and not the devil - truth, not sin; each of us must be a king over himself, over his passions, vicious inclinations. Grant me, Lord, to control myself, with the help of Your grace, for without You I can do nothing. I was dead in spirit today at early mass, sick and mad in heart from a nocturnal emission that occurred this week from a bad dream of the devil, as well as from the meat food that yesterday I ate in abundance along with fish pie. Only the grace of God, requested from God through earnest prayer, revived me and healed the fierce ulcers of my heart; the corruption was deep, the weakness was great; I could not, from demonic fear, utter the words: First remember, Lord, the Holy Government Synod and our master, the Most Reverend Isidore, Metropolitan of Novgorod, St. Petersburg and Finland, and grant them to Your holy churches in peace, whole, honest... He lost his integrity without asking for the integrity of others. At the great entrance, the evil one did not have the strength to reprimand the Empress Maria Alexandrovna... and the noble sovereign, Grand Duke Nikolai Alexandrovich. But after communion of the Holy Mysteries (glory to Thy power, Lord), I accomplished everything without stumbling - I read the prayer behind the pulpit and the prayer service for the holy water; Only at the Blessing of Water prayer did he falter for a moment, embarrassed by the demonic pretext, and missed a few words... He delivered the sermon with animation and collected 33 rubles 20 kopecks for a dish in favor of the poor. God bless! Grant me more boldness, more boldness, O Lord! The enemy robs me of my boldness, giving me fear, fear, and dreams. The holy saints are the birth of God, the pure, holy breath of the Holy Spirit - how can we not honor them, the friends of God, how can we not ask for their intercession for us sinners before God! How long will I, like a baby, be occupied with toys - food and drink, and endlessly feast on pies, sweet tea and the like? How long will I spontaneously plunge myself into spiritual death, deprive myself of the grace of God, which cannot dwell in a heart that loves earthly pleasures, physical, gross? As long as I do the evil that perishes, that is, I pursue food and drink, I please the belly, this household idol, and not the evil incorruptible which the Son of Man will give... the bread of God... come down from heaven and give life to the world [Jn. 6, 27, 33 ]? This is what I thought and felt, by the way, today, during the home all-night vigil with Mrs. Brown, when I came to her to serve the all-night vigil with my heart weighed down by the food of the cake I had eaten at home at dinner, although I only ate one pie. I needed a lot of feelings of repentance, tenderness, contrition in order to be reborn again through fiery prayer into a life of grace from the flesh and to overcome the enemy who beset me with confusion. Oh, how a priest needs constant abstinence! Grant me, Lord, this abstinence! I thank the Lord, who raised me up from sleep and saved me from night dreams. I am a damned man: merciful of the Lord, I continue to sin and add sins to sins, corruption to corruption, although not the fornicating corruption of the body, but the corruption of the soul; Having been made worthy of life-giving grace, I lose grace for the sake of a child’s enjoyment of food. Sister Anna K.’s cool character stems from nature, from temperament, from her initial upbringing, just like mine. And there is nothing more difficult than coping with your character or going against it. It's like walking against a strong river current. I judge on my own, because I still can’t restrain myself in many ways, and when I’m wounded, I’m immediately embarrassed by something that’s disgusting to me. How hard it was for me yesterday to resist the pressure of temptations from the enemy and from the flesh after mass at the prayer service of the Mother of God. It was necessary to cry, to cry in order to attract heavenly help; [...]. O prodigal flesh! You need to be crucified. Constantly! Get away from me, Lord! because I am a sinful man [Lk. 5, 8]. In the words of the Apostle Peter, I, a great sinner, cried out to the Lord today when He was with me in His Holy Mysteries, for I saw bickering in my house from my wife, and irritation in myself. And it’s true - we cannot keep the Divine Mysteries in the house all the time, but only out of need, for a while, so that we do not offend Him who rests in the saints, who rests on the throne of His glory, who rests on the rational thrones of heaven. Dream. The new boat in which I sailed across the sea quickly filled with water (I fill my belly and heart with drink) and was finally ready to sink, and only by miracle did I find myself at the pier; I had a long pole with which I measured the depth: it quickly increased as we moved away from the shore. I can drown from gluttony (drown my soul). Another dream - soon after the first: I am in some kind of ship; I have in my hands a vessel, half of which contains some kind of bread crackers, and below - water (this is food and drink, which I use in abundance, and the vessel is my heart). They tell me: take and let the dove into this vessel; I thought: how can a dove be in such a small and cramped vessel, moreover, with bread and water. He'll fly out of there now! I took it with my hands and put it in the vessel, but it soon flew out, because it was cramped and stuffy there, and those who were there cried out: ah, ah, it flew out! The Holy Spirit cannot dwell in a heart weighed down with food and drink, but flies out. Oh, my grief! This is a moral lesson for me - kind, simple, visual. I ate and drank a lot last night. Greedy, reckless. I thank the Lord, who enabled me yesterday to perform peacefully, freely, and in a solemn spirit the Sacrament of Baptism in the house of Walrindt and the Blessing of Anointing in the house of Sorokina, over the Queen. Oh, how heavy the prosphyra and butter have become for me - from their excessive use! At night (like yesterday, and in the mornings, like today) never eat prosphyra, unless in hunger, and then only a little. The present cannot exist without the past: real people, the real order of things, the structure of the Church, the structure of the state, morals, customs - everything is rooted in the past, which is very rich in examples of wisdom, virtue, valor, courage, patience, love, strength, boldness, firmness, fidelity, constancy. Therefore, it is very, very useful to know and study the past, the story of previously former persons who distinguished themselves by these deeds, about their virtues and virtues, as well as stumbling blocks, vices, in order to imitate the former and avoid the latter - in a word, it is very important to study history. In this regard, it is especially important to study the history of the Church and the history of civil societies, and in particular the history of the Russian Church and state. I thank the Lord, who made me worthy without stumbling, with boldness and a solemn spirit, to perform baptism with officer Vasily Semenovich Golubtsov and who revived me with this sacred act. Glory to Thee, Life-Giving Lord! He sinned before God, before his wife, the baby Liza, before himself and the servants, scolding his wife for running away with the baby from the fresh air (he called him a fool, wished bad things - so that he would always be afraid of everything with his sister Anna)! Oh, impatience! Oh, self-love! Oh, ill will! Not loving your neighbor as you love yourself. I, wretched one, have ruined the commandment of the Lord. But I repent, Lord, have mercy on me, heal, cleanse and save me. And You have already had mercy, healed the fierce wound of my sin, cleansed me, saved me. I thank You, our most merciful and benevolent and gracious God. Amen. Keep me from all sin forever. Let me not forget that my wife is an instrument of God’s great mercy to me: through her the Lord gave me the honor of the priesthood and all external contentment. May I learn to be lenient, patient and long-suffering towards her and her sister, a widow, although wayward and proud. And you don’t have to endure much. Do not give in (in the name of the Lord) to the incorporeal enemy in a single word, but pronounce firmly every word that he tries to snatch from you, confusing you and weakening you. I thank the Lord, who heard my prayer of repentance before the prayer service for the foundation of the house and healed my ulcer, took away my confusion and gave me peace. At first he served well, calmly, and then - at the small litany, remembering the Most Pure Mother of God, he doubted, became embarrassed and became numb - and therefore he was extremely wounded throughout his entire being, filled with devilish poison. God! What a punishment for my sins! However, this is also because of the milk and black bread! Whoever wants to save his soul will lose it [Lk. 9:24], of course, the passionate flesh, or the old man, which must be crucified and put to death, as it is said: those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24 ]; I subdue and enslave my body [1 Cor. 9, 27 ]; put to death your members on the earth [Col. 3, 5]. I thank the Lord, who delivered me today from the great distress of looking at His holy icon in the gymnasium (in the teachers’ room and in the fifth grade). Right faith is the one that provides the surest means of salvation, justified by past and present experiences. This is our holy Orthodox faith - true, Evangelical, Apostolic. How wonderfully she continually saves sincere Christians! How it changes, renews, cleanses, gives life, sanctifies, saves, bestowing incorruptibility, peace, freedom. In other faiths, unbridledness is noticeable in all classes in the mind, in the heart, in the will, in actions, in words, in all life. Life there is pagan. Therefore, it is very, infinitely important to confess the Christian Orthodox faith, truly God's, Apostolic, universal. The Lord, by His death and burial and descent into hell, leveled me, cleared the path of the grave, the afterlife, defeated the hostile regiments of the spirits of evil and resurrected many, many saints. I have nothing to fear death when I am with the Lord. Even if I walk through the slash of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me ecu [Ps. 22, 4]. Go opposite your flesh, sinful, vile, evil, evil, ungodly; if you do not go against her, then she will go against you and against God. The Cross of the Lord is erected. – How many sad, terrible, great and at the same time joyful memories awaken at the sight of an erected cross or at the mere sight of a cross! Who was raised on the cross? Himself the King of glory, Himself the Creator of heaven and earth, the Lord Jesus Christ. For whom? For us - for me, with you, the King of Truth, Almighty God accepted the execution of His human nature for our sins. And what kind of punishment? The most blasphemous, most painful execution! Oh, a terrible mystery! Oh, the sacrament that involuntarily brings forth tears of tenderness! We are not so amazed and moved when we see that justice is executing a villain, a murderer. But how can one not be moved by the sight of the execution not of a criminal, but of the greatest Righteous One, meek, humble, kind, merciful, who has performed countless good deeds for people and has not committed a single evil? It was not in vain that the sun darkened and the earth shook; the veil of the church was torn, the stones were falling apart! All insensitive nature - a wondrous thing - sympathized with the Creator of everything! But the Jews, who had hardened their hearts, had no compassion! And the people yawned, walking around the cross and said mockingly: Eh! destroying the church, and building in three days! save yourself and come down from the cross [Mk. 15, 29 – 30]. The cross reveals the harmony of God's perfections (harmony): the eternal, unchanging truth of God, the love and mercy of God, the wisdom of God. The holiness and truth of God could not accept a sinner into fellowship with Himself, for what fellowship is there between righteousness and lawlessness? What does light have in common with darkness? [ 2 Cor. 6, 14]. It was necessary to reconcile the sinner with the just God, it was necessary to punish him in proportion to the crime (or, better, in accordance with the crimes of the entire human race); then to grant man the grace-filled strength to do good, deserved by the suffering and death of the God-Man, the Son of God; it was necessary to establish cleansing currents for sinners in the Church in the Sacrament of Baptism, Repentance and Communion, the cleansing, sanctifying grace of the Holy Spirit - and then accept him into communion with Himself forever. This is what the Lord did with the apostles, hierarchs, martyrs, saints and unmercenaries. Gluttony and satiety are the scourge of grace, falling away from God, falling into carnal passions, into corruption, clinging to the world. I drank a little milk on Friday Vozdvizhenskaya - and what happened to me in the third grade of the gymnasium! How absurd sin has flooded me!.. How it has darkened, desecrated, confused, shamefully bound me! It’s good that I turned to God now, otherwise there would have been trouble! This is what gluttony gives rise to! Because of yesterday's eating in the evening, today I have a tonsil (gland) under my left ear; and from yesterday’s tea and coffee (unnecessarily) before the all-night vigil I had no voice, but there was some kind of nervous rattling. It was in vain that I ate fried fish late last night just because there was some left over. O learned fool! Is it senseless in such unimportant things?.. Is this why you lose priceless grace? Is this why you sell yourself to Belial? Merciful God! Have mercy on me! I revive the multi-passionate flesh with gluttony and satiety, which is truly a mortal sin, for the soul dies from it. My scrofula has become extremely severe because of my overeating. What is not much for others is a lot for me, for I have little need for storing and not scattering the seed, in which my strength lies. I thank the Lord, who made me worthy to celebrate the early liturgy; at the words: Remember first, Lord... the fear of the devil attacked, and the words: Isidore, Metropolitan of Novgorod, St. Petersburg and Finland, who grant Thy holy churches in peace, whole, honest, healthy, long-living, truly... could not pronounce... Eating a fair amount of Lenten pie and a large glass of vodka gave me a headache after sleep... I thank the Lord for his repeated, merciful obedience to me, repenting and groaning in sins, and deliverance from the oppression of sin, especially during the all-night vigil, at the beginning. I thank the Lord for the gift of tenderness while standing before the life-giving throne and the Gospel while kissing it. I thank the Lord, who delivered me from the sorrow and distress that befell me for my grief and shouting at the beggar boys who were chasing me to the Duma, today after the all-night vigil. I constantly experience the greatest mercies of my Lord and God. Glory to the Lord! How gracious is the Lord! The infinitely great Creator listens to a corruptible worm like me! Oh, indulgence! Oh, goodness! I live in a world of miracles - in the Church of God, miracles of mercy, omnipotence, and the wisdom of God. In the theater, people, like little children, are amused by the bustle of life, often with their own pranks. Sin created a terrible mediastinum between God and man. It was necessary to destroy this mediastinum - and the most merciful Savior destroyed it with the cross, killing the enmity on it, and earned people grace upon grace [John. 1, 16]: cleanses, sanctifies, confirms them through the Sacraments of grace, and people are again united with God through sanctification and deification from the Son of God and the Holy Spirit. Glory to the mercy of God, the wisdom of God, the power of God! You should use very little jam: it relaxes your nerves. I thank the Lord, who works miracles in me through the Holy Mysteries: in the morning I was sick, weak - during the Liturgy I became healthy, especially after communion of the Holy Mysteries, I completely came to life, calmed down, cheered up, and rejoiced. Glory to the Most Merciful Lord! I was weak from yesterday's heavy eating at the mechanical engineer Fedorov's after the christening at dinner and from an upset stomach. I really wanted to sleep before mass and during mass, but, having touched the throne of the Lord, I rose from despondency and weakness and was encouraged. Wonderful Divine Liturgy! Wonderful are the Holy Mysteries! He performed mass without stumbling. It’s good that I felt relaxed twice before mass – my stomach cleared up. Report on the analysis of the beggars who were on September 13th and 16th, on the number and quality of persons who came to the analysis; about the result of the analysis, or what was done for them. If we, having received the knowledge of the truth, sin voluntarily [glor.: by the will of those who sin upon us after accepting the mind of truth], then there remains no more sacrifice for sins, but a certain terrible expectation of judgment and the fury of fire, ready to devour our opponents [Heb. 10, 26 – 27]. Listen to what is being said. You are this madman, sinning by will through the acceptance of the mind of truth and, what is even more important, through the multiple communion of the Divine life-giving Mysteries of the Most Pure Body and Blood of Christ. - You are a glutton; you have a prodigal heart; You are a sinner burdened with all sorts of sins. I thank the Lord, who took away the demonic fear from my heart and gave me the courage and firm power to say forgiveness for my sins before the people in church at Vespers. I thank the Lord, who revived me through the Divine Liturgy and the Divine Communion of the most pure and life-giving Mysteries. I was extremely weak before mass from an upset stomach. Miracle of miracles of God's liturgy! The enemy hurt me after the liturgy, but I was healed again by faith in the most pure Mysteries and calling on the Lord. I glorify His power and mercy even if I am His unworthy servant. God bless me too, a sinner. The voice was strong, ringing and because the stomach had cleared and the chest had become free. I thank You, the all-merciful Master, for delivering me from sorrows, cramped conditions, cowardice and for giving me peace, freedom, boldness, health of soul and body, cleansing of sins, which all together and separately are the greatest good of man on earth. I thank the Lord for delivering me from my evils. O wonderful, close, omniscient, all-holy, all-good, all-precious Lord, glory, glory, glory to You! I thank and extol the mercy and power of my God, who delivered me from sorrows and distress both during Matins and Liturgy, and in the evening. And during the unction of the old woman in the house of Yanuarsky, when through the movement of anger my heart was confused and tightness and sorrow took possession of me, as soon as with living faith I called on the Lord, imagined Him in my heart, I was immediately healed and calmed down. Praise the Lord. I have experienced that it is very beneficial to eat little during the day and evening: it is easy to sleep, it is easy to pray, passions are easily overcome, and there are also weak causes of passions. It is well said that in their corruption they will decay [2 Pet. 2, 12]. Thy kingdom come [Matt. 6, 10]. Whoever loved God above all else, with all his heart, with all his soul, with all his mind, with all his strength, for him the Kingdom of God has come, but for him who is still devoted to the world, although he serves God, it has not yet come. I thank the Lord for the wonderful works of His mercy in me, a sinner, for even now the Lord has miraculously revived me with His life-giving Mysteries, cleansed, sanctified, nourished, and strengthened my soul. I thank the Lord, who has girded me with the power from above to perform the Sacrament of Marriage of my fellow countryman, the Vimberg clerk Nikolai, and Tatiana. He did a good job, only in the end he was upset with the singers of the Vladimir Church for their sluggish and lazy singing and the wrong time to start singing. The enemy pressed me, confused me, set me on fire, put me to shame, and I barely finished without uttering many words; but at the end of the wedding and prayer service, having fallen to the throne with faith and trust in the Lord, I felt in my soul the amazing saving and life-giving helping hand of my Lord Jesus Christ and I was pacified, expanded, revived - for which I thanked with all my heart my Lord, who soon saves repentant sinners. After the marriage, he visited Ekaterina Stepanovna and spoke edifyingly. In general, this week, during and outside of service, I have been saved in countless cases by the grace of God; The most merciful Lord always listened to me, a repentant sinner, and saved me patiently. I thank the Lord, who has disposed the hearts of our parishioners towards me. I thank the Lord for success in the gymnasium and for success in parish care, especially today, September 20, Friday. Glory to him that worketh is all in all [1 Cor. 12, 6 ]! At night there was a satanic prodigal dream (may it not be remembered!). I thank the Lord, who cleanses all my iniquities with His mercy towards the repentant and with His ineffable, all-blessed holiness. I thank the Lord, who showed me help in the service of Matins. Giving of the Exaltation of the Cross. Saturday. I thank the Lord, who has made me worthy to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling and to partake of the all-joyful, worldly, Divine, life-giving Mysteries. I was subjected to temptation due to carnal relaxation from the defilement that took place last night. When I said aloud the prayer: I believe, Lord, and I confess... I did not utter the words: Your Most Pure Mysteries... and: communion of Your Most Pure Mysteries, Lord, but for the forgiveness of sins and eternal life... before the communion of Kozhevnin’s wife Anastasia... I found that the desecration occurred from the sweet tea that I drank at Ekaterina Stepanovna’s; then an extreme relaxation of the soul with a prodigal, involuntary movement occurred after mass, during the celebration of the Sacrament of Baptism in the church: the recipient was a girl, the daughter of Chrysanthus Mogilev, very pretty. I have sinned against the Lord! I could barely restrain myself from the lustful movement - so the flesh was greatly infuriated by the idea of ​​maiden beauty, although I glorified God, the Author of all beauty and beauty. Oh, how necessary it is for us, the corrupted, especially me, the corrupted, to look unceasingly to the one God! At dinner he ate quite a lot of meat, due to exhaustion from defilement. But I would never eat again! God forbid you eat meat at dinner and drink milk at night and sweet tea [...]! Establish, God, not to eat meat and not to drink sweet tea and milk, except in necessary cases, and even that is not enough. The Lord saves me from countless falls and evils by His priesthood entrusted to me, especially by the daily service of the Liturgy in the next week: He saves me from morning gluttony, from many other sinful stumbling blocks, constantly cleanses my soul and body from sin, sanctifies, pacifies, lives, strengthens. Thank the Lord! The priesthood also saves me from visiting the theater, where my eyes and ears could encounter tempting objects and darken my spirit and heart! The theater is the church of the god of this world, with his vanity, with his passions and lusts. This is a mirror of an adulterous and sinful world, lying in evil. It is true that people had and still have noble impulses, and they are depicted on stage, but still this is worldly heroism, which existed in pagan times, but not the heroism of Christians fighting sin for the sake of faith and love for God and Christ the Savior. I thank the Lord, who blocked me and my rank from entering such places. I thank the Lord, who erased yesterday during the liturgy and after its head the spiritual serpents in me that troubled and wounded me, especially during the dismissal at the thanksgiving prayer, which the enemy stole from me, after which I felt especially bad - but I cried out to the Lord with all my heart, and said to my enemies: if you are again able, you will be victorious [Isa. 8, 9 ], I imagined the Lord in myself with heartfelt faith that He is in me and can crush all the cunning of the serpent, and - oh, bliss, peace, freedom, boldness! All the demonic darkness has disappeared! The prayer service was then served with the greatest freedom, the marriage was celebrated with the greatest boldness and freedom. Thank the Lord! I thank the Lord for the heavenly gift of the liturgy and the life-giving Mysteries and for the revival by them, for the repeated eradication of the devil’s wiles and sinful oppressions, for the cheerful service of the prayer service at Yakov Andreev, for the [beneficent] service of the liturgy in the Duma church (I did not read the end of the Gospel due to the enemy’s embarrassment). (You shouldn’t be upset with the sexton: he is ready to serve. You shouldn’t be angry with the servants Catherine and Anna either because of empty things, or even because of important ones: a person’s anger does not create God’s righteousness [James 1:20].) Today I angered the Lord with my malice, when the beggars began to pester me and chase me; I pushed one of them and - oh, impudence! told him: go to hell! I have so insulted a member of Christ, Christ Himself! And when I repented of this, the long-suffering and merciful Lord accepted me, had mercy, pacified me, freed me from the bonds of hell and allowed me to peacefully celebrate the liturgy. I praise the wonderful mercy! I was not without tears of tenderness during the liturgy, and tears of repentance are my food. For what kind of healing remains for me, a sinner, if not tears? And I thank the Lord for the gift of tears. You are free - why did you go to hell? Who called you here? Didn't they warn you? Haven't they told you about eternal torment here? Didn't you believe it? New audacity! How dare you, dare not believe the Truth Itself? Do not be servile, O priest, to a single person from the powerful, noble or rich laity, and do not be embarrassed before any of them. Fear God alone and serve Him with all your heart. The Kingdom of Heaven has come near [Matt. 4:17], - it was not we who approached the Kingdom of Heaven, but the Kingdom of Heaven itself, Christ Himself, the Heavenly King, who approached us, bowing the heavens and descending, as it is written: I revealed myself to those who did not ask about Me; Those who did not seek Me found me [Isa. 65, 1]. Oh, condescension, oh, goodness, oh, inexpressible generosity! And how Christ the Lord approached! He gave himself as food and drink to the faithful! And it is always taught when we admire it! Oh, the approach of the Kingdom of Heaven, wondrous, wondrous and amazing for the minds of the Angels! And we, the damned, flee from the Kingdom of Heaven to the vanity of this world, we rarely go to the church of God, we extremely rarely partake of the Holy Mysteries! Oh, how inexpressibly exalted is human nature in the person of the God-Man Jesus Christ and His Most Pure Mother, how sanctified, glorified, deified! Oh, what honor and glory have all those sanctified in Christ Jesus received, that is, all the saints who have pleased God through faith, hope, virtuous and holy living! What honor are you and I, brothers, given the incomparable happiness of being called and being (God willing, just to be, and not just to be called) Orthodox Christians, members of the Church of Christ and Christ God Himself, children of God and children of the Mother of God by adoption, servants of the Lord and His Most Pure Mother! But this honor, brethren, requires deeds consistent with the Christian name and title. Let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, creating holiness in the fear of God [2 Cor. 7, 1]. We glorify in the Mother of God the immeasurable shrine, the highest humility, the innumerable mercy and compassion for us sinners. Let us ourselves always be zealous for the holiness of life, for unfeigned humility, which sincerely considers itself insignificant, but honors, loves, condescends, tolerates and is patient with its neighbor, excuses and forgives if it is harmless to others; Let us try sincerely, with all our hearts, to be kind-hearted and compassionate towards our neighbors, especially those in need of our sympathy, and we ourselves will be rewarded with the loving compassion and mercy of the Mother of the Heavenly King. Unhappy are those Protestant societies that have severed all communion with the Church of the firstborn, written in heaven [Heb. 12, 23], and never call upon the Mother of God in their prayers. This is senseless pride, bitter than any pride! This is incomprehensible madness! This is the insolence of the proud Satan! This is what it means to sacrilegiously break the life-giving connection with the Ecumenical, Apostolic, Orthodox, visible Church! Those who have broken the connection with the Church visible on earth have thereby broken both with the heavenly Church and with the Head of the Church. God is not the Father of those to whom the Church is not a mother, says one holy father 114. Sunday. Early mass. I thank the Lord, who raised me from the death of sin, through which I died during the week from gluttony and satiety and other sins. I felt that the enemy was surrounding me inside, wrapping me like a garment; I was weak, unfree, confused, powerless; at the great entrance, the enemy did not allow me to say the name of Maria Alexandrovna, Empress, heiress and Grand Duke Nikolai Alexandrovich; just before communion, the enemy cruelly stung me with contempt and hatred for the altar watchman Ivan for his snub nose and ugliness, although he is a wonderful, kind, simple, conscientious person; the enemy has overcome me, a person of partiality, enjoying the pleasant appearance of a person and abhorring the unseemly; however, through sincere repentance the Lord accepted me into His mercy and gave me life-giving communion of the Holy Mysteries; did not say: Remember first, Lord... And vouchsafe us, Master... Grace and generosity and philanthropy - to the end; The prayer service for the blessing of water was served cheerfully with God's help; but before the prayer service and during the prayer service there was extreme temptation, and only through tears of repentance did I receive help from above! How sinful, vile, and weak I am! After mass, before the wedding, in the second hour, he was upset with the bride and groom; the devil entered my heart, took possession of me, and I, unable to free myself from the spirit of hostility, dimly and in difficulty crowned it, in extreme spiritual powerlessness and shame; then I was baptized by Lieutenant Pelius with extreme difficulty, but after dinner, the devil finally overcame me from the wine, meat, and pies, and I could not speak at Suetin’s christening, especially because I looked with obsequiousness at the dressed-up godmother Latta - trouble, and that’s all: the enemy stood [across]; I also celebrated a wedding at seven o’clock in the evening with extreme difficulty; I could not speak at all, the enemy repeatedly resisted terribly; I didn’t say any good wishes to my husband and wife! Exalt yourself to the bridegroom... bride - did not say; he did not say a prayer for the permission of the crowns; didn't say leave. It was terribly difficult! Here's your lunch without prayer at a christening, in the smoking room. Here's to clinking glasses and glasses with people whose lives you don't know. But the Lord punished me especially for my anger, and when - after communion of the Holy Mysteries - such is my ingratitude and insolence! Rightly so, shame covered my face. Hieromartyr Cyprian of Carthage: “Whoever does not listen to the Church is not a son of the Church, and to whom the Church is not a mother, God is not his father.” You might be interested in: