Слово 92

1. About contemplation and revelation, and about the enlightened soul; and how the grace of the Holy Spirit acts in those in whom love for God reigns and who has come to the depths of humility. My beloved brothers! Great and immeasurable is the condescension and love of God towards people. Why, marveling at the ineffable goodness of God and trembling, I cry out like this: how amazingly wondrous is the power of God’s commandments and what a wondrous state they bring those who create and fulfill them! And I once began to fulfill the commandments of God, when I emerged a little from the depths of sins and was somewhat freed from the darkness that covered me. At the same time, often being pressed by my evil skills, I was afraid for myself, but love and desire for good much more often directed me towards good. At the beginning, all I did was just to move away from evil, but then it itself began to move me towards good. At this time, one thing especially caused me burden and trouble - this is the evil habit of voluptuousness, which is destroyed by reading the Divine Scriptures and practice in good deeds. For just as when the sun rises in the morning, darkness gradually disperses and disappears, so when virtue shines forth, sin is driven away like darkness and is finally completely destroyed. Then we are good and virtuous in everything, as before we were evil and vicious. So, with the help of a little patience and a little good will, or, better to say, with the help of the living God, we are finally recreated and renewed after we have been cleansed in soul and body and mind. As a result of this, we become something that we did not know about before, being darkened by passions, and we also receive something that we are unworthy of. From this I, too, gained something, indecent and the worst of all. For it is good to preach with great thanksgiving the blessings received from a man-loving God through the grace of our Redeemer Jesus Christ. I have received grace for grace and goodness for goodness, fire for fire and flame for flame. To my ascent and success, other ascents and successes were given, and at the end of the ascent - light; to this light - another light, brighter; Among this light, the brilliant Sun shone, from which a ray appeared that fulfilled all things. What this meant was unthinkable. At this time I only shed sweet tears, marveling at the unspeakable. Then the Divine, first mind began to talk with my own mind and teach it this way: did you understand into what a wondrous state this love for mankind and strength raised you, for the sake of your faith and your little patience, which testified to your love? Behold, being subject to death, you became immortal and, being possessed by corruption, you became incorruptible. Behold, living in the world, you abide with Me. Behold, while wearing a body, you are not carried away by bodily pleasures. You are small in body, but you contemplate everything with your mind. - To this, with fear and at the same time with joy, I answered: who am I, Lord, sinful and unclean, that You looked at me and condescended to talk with me? And You, most pure, invisible and unapproachable to everyone, how do you appear to me as approachable and sweetest, and how do you see the most red in the grace and glory that shines upon You? I heard what I heard mysteriously and answered in a somewhat unusual way. The supernaturalness of contemplation surprised me, but its fearfulness seemed to separate my soul from my body. The indescribable beauty of the One who appeared struck my heart and moved me to boundless love; love did not allow me to turn down again, but I rejoiced, as if I had been completely torn from the bonds of the flesh and, however, still remained a whole person. I was given confirmation that all my sins had been forgiven, and again I saw myself more sinful than any man. I could not help but believe the One who spoke to me, and, again, I was afraid to believe Him, so as not to fall into arrogance. I often ascend to the height of contemplation without my will and again descend from it by my will, so as not to forget the measures of humanity and to more safely maintain humility. I know a lot that others don’t know, and, again, I am the most ignorant of all. I rejoice that Christ, in whom I believed, has given me an eternal and unshakable kingdom, and again, as unworthy of these blessings, I cry, and I will never stop crying. I do not dare to open my mouth to ask for forgiveness of my sins - and, again, moved by love, I am inspired and accept the boldness to pray to God for other brothers and (yes the river is in madness) I am heard. I stand boldly before God and pray like a son, but in the feelings of my heart I consider myself alien and bold. I hear: good, faithful servant, etc., and I truly find myself in such a way that I not only did not use it as it should, but did not even retain a single talent out of all the gifts that were given to me. It seems to me that I have reached the very extreme limit of virtue, and at the same time I feel immersed in the abyss of my sins and tend to despair. When I feel the lowest of all, then I rise above heaven and through love again unite with Jesus Christ, our God, in Whom I trust, that when I am freed from this earthly and heavy flesh, or when I die, then I will be closer presented to Him and enlightened by Him, so that I will know more clearly the eternal joy and rejoicing of the love there. I wanted to write this to you, my brothers, not in order to gain fame and be glorified by people. It won't happen! For such a person is foolish and alien to the glory of God. But I wrote so that you could see and know the immeasurable love of God and how light the burden of the commandments of our Savior God is and, on the contrary, how great and incomparable the reward of His goodness is; having learned this, so that either they would desire to gain His love for themselves, or they would fear and tremble at the deprivation of it, like eternal death. At the same time, and for this reason, I wanted to write about everything that was said, so that you would know the height of humility and the sign of perfect love. Also in order for you to know both the work of God’s condescension and the gift of His Divine grace, that is, this exchange that He made with us humans, accepting humanity and giving divinity in its place; so that we may know the wondrous image of our restoration and how those who wished to believe in the crucified Christ live, that is, those who imitated His obedience and humility, and decided, turning away from the worst, to strive for the better, from sin to virtue, from the earthly to the heavenly, from the carnal to the spiritual, from the human to the divine; and also to see how those who leave everything out of love for God who loved us change and, however, are not deprived of anything either from the present or from the future - that is, how the darkened ones wonderfully enter the light, approaching the great Light, and how they, uniting with what is above, are placed as gods and above the earthly, as was the case in ancient times with Moses - how, being among everyone, they are not defiled in the least by dealing with them and doing good to others, they do not suffer any damage in goodness, but, showing mercy to others, they themselves receive more than they give, especially when, through their love for mankind, they become like the man-loving God; - how they humble themselves as they are elevated, and how they rise as they humble themselves; they are deprived of everything necessary in life out of humility - and do not suffer any deprivation, being nourished by the eternal life of holy love. Behold, I have revealed to you the mysteries that were hidden within me, for I see that the end of my life is near. I wanted to let you see and know the images of repentance, and the first steps of beginners, and the successes of the average, and the measures of the perfect, and to incite you to imitate, if you do not want someone else, then me, your spiritual father, who gave birth to you spiritually, who loved you with all my soul, who rewarded (nourished. - Ed.) you with the milk of the word of God, who nourished you with the bread that gives life to all things, and who showed how to walk the path of the saving commandments of God, to Whom belongs all glory, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen. You might be interested in: