Слово 32

(1) Sent to a certain Christian brother - about repentance, which shows what needs to be done by someone who, after falling into sin and acquiring an evil habit, repented and began correction. 1. We have been taught from the Divine Scriptures, my brother, that we should never, either because of the multitude of our sins, despair, nor again, rely too much on the power of penances imposed by the spiritual father for our sins, so that neither the one who has risen from the fall, that is, ceased from sins, should not be too daring for this sake, nor the one who has fallen should not despair; but let him who has sinned a lot dare to repent, and whoever has fallen into small sins, let him not think that he will receive forgiveness of his sins for his good deeds alone, but let him also show repentance - and repentance is not the kind that is declared in words or shown by fasting, dry eating, slumbering and other similar bodily deprivations, although this all goes to the point, but which happens in contrition and pain of the soul and hearts, as the prophet David also showed, despite all the fact that he lived in the world and was burdened with many necessary worries. For he, reflecting with himself on how good and generous the Lord had angered by becoming a transgressor of His commandments and turning out to be ungrateful to Him, forgetting His many and countless gifts and benefits, spent his entire life grieving about this in his soul and shedding bitter tears, as he himself attests to this. He amazed himself with the feelings of his misfortune and plight, he crushed and humbled himself in every possible way, roaring from the sighs of his heart, as his psalms tell us every day. David inflicted such sorrows on himself when he repented, despite the fact that he was a king and had to take care of so many people, about his wife and children, about his home and kingdom. What also did Manasseh and all the others who repented after him, about whom you yourself know, such as Peter, the chief of the Apostles, the publican, the thief, the harlot? And why bring many - what did the prodigal son do, who shared his father’s inheritance with harlots and tax collectors? For what deeds did all these receive forgiveness of their sins? Is it for your fasts or vigils? Was it for alms given to the poor, or for other hard work on the body? No, it was not for this that they received forgiveness, but for sincere repentance, for contrition and pain in their hearts, for the tears they shed from the depths of their souls, because their conscience condemned them. Having come to the realization of their sins, each of them condemned and repented of himself, and cried from the heart, and for this he received forgiveness of his sins. The same thing happens now with everyone who comes running to Christ with warm tears and true repentance. And the philanthropic and All-merciful Lord does not and never will conclude the humane womb of His goodness before any of these. Forgiveness of the sins of every sinner does not happen for any deeds, lest someone become proud about this, but according to God’s love for mankind and grace. However, you should know that in order to receive forgiveness of sins, you need not only sincere repentance for them from the bottom of your heart, but also a firm intention not to fall into the same sins again and not to return back. And this requirement not to fall again into the same sins is very difficult for us to comply with if, with all zeal and diligence, we do not surround ourselves with beneficial protections and don’t put on spiritual weapons, so that with their help we can resist our mental enemies, the demons. For just as we were already captured by the enemy through sins and, having enslaved ourselves to carnal pleasures and passions, we already submitted and served the devil, then in every possible way the same lusts and pleasures will rise in us again, so that again, like dishonest slaves, they will draw us with violence into service and work for our enemy the devil and to run away from the work of our Master Christ, through the transgression of His commandments and violation the vows they made to Him in repentance. So, so that we do not suffer anything like this, we must, to help ourselves, borrow from the Holy Scriptures weapons against every enemy who attacks us, as the divine David teaches us by his example, saying: for this reason we were guided by all Your commandments, and hated every way of unrighteousness (Ps. 119:128). Let us contrast with lust aroused by enemy thoughts the memory of death, the Last Judgment and the unbearable torment of hell; Let us contrast laziness with zeal and jealousy, gluttony with fasting, voluptuousness with abstinence, heavy drinking with little or no drinking, burning of the flesh with the representation of eternal fire; Let us practice frequent and whole-hearted prayer to God, with vigil and fasting. If we do this against every passion that fights us (I will not list them, so as not to lengthen the words), and acquire a virtue opposite to each such passion, then we will probably be preserved unharmed and invulnerable from the enemy, because then those virtues will guard us like some strong warriors. If suppressing an evil custom and restraining oneself from the corresponding irrelevant deeds could be accomplished without sweat and labor, then this self-restraint alone would be enough for the repentant to save themselves. But this is not the case. In addition to what I have written to you so far, I am writing this to you as a reminder and about what else you have a duty to do and keep. This is this: when the Divine Liturgy is being celebrated and the priest or deacon says: as soon as the catechumen is over, leave the church and stand in the narfika (in the vestibule of the church), and do not speak to anyone at this time, but remember your sins and cry, then, when the Divine Liturgy is over, you can enter the church again. When evening comes, after Compline, go to some special place and perform the following prayer rule: Trisagion; Psalm 50, that is, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy”; Lord have mercy - 50 times; Lord forgive me, a sinner - 50 times; 6th Psalm, that is, Lord, do not reprove me with Your wrath, nor punish me with Your wrath; Lord, I have sinned so much in word, deed and thought, forgive me. Apply 25 throwings (waist bows). On Wednesday and Friday, abstain from meat, cheese, eggs, fish, wine and oil, according to the rule of the holy Apostles. During the fasts of the Holy Apostles, the Mother of God of the Dormition and the Nativity, do not eat meat, cheese and eggs, but eat other things in moderation, with abstinence. Prayers, that is, psalms, as it is said, and bows doubly perform at this time. On the Great Lent, do not allow for oil and wine, except Saturdays and Sundays, but then consume your flesh according to your strength, as befits Christians who want to be saved; Fulfill the prayer rule doubly on Lent, as prescribed for other fasts. You also need to abstain from the Divine and terrible Mysteries, that is, do not partake of the most pure Body and most honorable Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ; I advise you to abstain from the blessed bread or antidor. Observe all this faithfully until your thoughts and disposition turn away from the evil deeds of sin, until you acquire a firm intention never to abandon good deeds and virtues and completely hate sin. When you finally see in yourself that you have reached such a good state, that is, that you have completely hated sin, and have become firmly established in the disposition to do good, and when, moreover, through testing you are convinced that your determination to abstain from sin is immutable, then, my brother, approach the Divine Mysteries with undoubted faith that you are not eating simple bread and not simple wine, but you are truly communing with the Body and Blood God's By doing this, you will become a partaker of the glory of Christ the Lord, and through these Mysteries you will receive complete remission of sins, you will receive eternal life and become a son of light and day. If, before fulfilling all that has been said, that is, before you show proper repentance, you dare to partake of the Body and Blood of Christ, then the demons, seeing how you despised God and received communion unworthily, will all rush at you and, seizing you mercilessly and inhumanly, will throw you again into the ditch of your former indecency. Then, instead of a Christian, you will become a murderer of Christ and will be condemned along with those who crucified Christ, as the Apostle Paul says: whoever eats this bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord (1 Cor. 11:27), that is, they will be subject to the same sentence as those who crucified the Lord. I will not write to you more than what I have already written, for fear of being a burden to you. But you, brother, if you do anything more than that, you will benefit yourself and prepare future benefits for your soul. What I wrote, I wrote to you to do, is not in the sense that such labors bring cleansing of the soul and remission of sins, but in the sense that in this way it is more convenient for you to retain the memory of your sins in your soul and lament over them. If I had known that I would sadden you by this, I would not have written even this little to your love. I want only one thing from you: that in contrition and pain over the past, you cut off your evil sinful habit and put an end to your worthless deeds. I ask you to observe this cutting off and cessation with contrition. And if it is possible for you to observe this without sweat and other labors, I will be content with this alone. Write to me more often about your health, so that I can see your faith and love for me and remember you more warmly when I raise my hands to God, unworthy. May the grace of God be with your spirit. Amen. You might be interested in: