Часть вторая

Letter from Hieromonk Nikon to his mother (Optina Pustyn, 1922). Christ is in our midst, dear mother. I earnestly wish you peace and joy in the Lord Jesus and ask for your holy prayers and parental blessings. What should I write about myself? I am alive and well, I have no special needs, I get everything I need, I work somewhat in writing, I am a lot busy with various affairs around the monastery, or, rather, with matters relating to our common life in general, I sing in the choir and, finally, I serve, standing before the throne of God in the holy altar. As for my inner life, both in my cell and in my soul, not everyone can know this. My cell is 5 arshins long and 3 arshins wide. 6 tops, one window. The cell is dearer to me than any magnificent houses and palaces. As for the conditions of our common life, this matter is complex and at the same time very simple: complex, because it is difficult to put on paper everything that the former monastery now represents, and everything that we experience and undertake is simple, for “Unless the Lord builds a house, they labor in vain to build,” according to the psalm word (Ps. 126). Yes, you need to take possible measures, suggested by common sense and consistent with the spirit of Christian and monastic life, but, taking them, success should be expected entirely from the hand of the Lord. Human pride says: we will do it, we will achieve it, and we begin to build the Tower of Babel, we demand an account from God for His actions, we want to be stewards of the universe, we dream of thrones beyond the clouds - but no one and nothing obeys it, and man’s powerlessness is clearly proven by bitter experience. Observing this experience from history and ancient, bygone days and modern ones, I come to the conclusion that the ways of God’s Providence are incomprehensible to us, we cannot understand them, and therefore it is necessary to surrender to the will of God with all humility. Then the second: no one and nothing can harm a person if he does not harm himself; on the contrary, whoever does not shy away from sin, even a thousand saving means will not help him. Consequently, the only evil is sin: Judas fell while with the Savior, and righteous Lot was saved while living in Sodom. These and similar thoughts come to me when I study reading St. fathers and when I look mentally at my surroundings. What will happen? How will it be? When will it be? If this and that happens, where should you turn? If this and that happens, where can we find spiritual support and consolation? Oh, Lord, Lord. And a fierce bewilderment envelops the soul when you want to foresee everything with your mind, to penetrate into the mystery of the future, unknown to us, but for some reason terrible. The mind is exhausted, its plans, the means it invents - a childhood dream, a pleasant dream. A man woke up - and everything disappeared, faced with harsh reality, and all plans collapsed. Where is the hope? Hope is in God. The Lord is my hope and my refuge. In surrendering myself and everything to the will of God I find peace in my soul. If I surrender myself to the will of God, then God’s will will be done to me, and it is always good and perfect. If I am God’s, then the Lord will protect me and comfort me. If any temptation is sent to me for my benefit, blessed is the Lord who builds my salvation. Even with the influx of sorrows, the Lord is able to provide great and glorious consolation... This is how I think, this is how I feel, this is how I observe and this is how I believe. Do not think from this that I have experienced many sorrows and trials. No, it seems to me that I have not yet seen sorrow. If I had experiences that, from a superficial glance at them, seemed to be something regrettable, they did not cause me severe heartache, did not cause me grief, and therefore I do not dare to call them sorrows. But I do not close my eyes to what is happening and to what is to come, in order to prepare my soul for temptation, so that I can say to me in the words of the psalms: “Be prepared and not be troubled.” I informed you that we had an investigation, the affairs of our Partnership were audited. This investigation is not over yet, there has not been a trial yet. When the trial will take place and how it will end, God knows. But, undoubtedly, without the will of God, nothing can happen either to me, in particular, or to us in general, and therefore I am calm. And when your soul is calm, then what else should you look for? Now I have come from the all-night vigil and am finishing the letter that I began before the all-night vigil. God, what a blessing. What wonderful verbs are spoken to us in the church. Peace and silence. The spirit of the shrine is palpably felt in the church. The service of God ends, everyone goes to their homes. I leave the church too. Wonderful night, light frost. The moon bathes our quiet corner with silver light. I go to the graves of the deceased elders, worship them, ask for their prayerful help, and for them I ask the Lord for eternal bliss in heaven. These graves tell a lot to our mind. And the heart breathes warmth from these cold tombstones. Wonderful images of deceased giants of the spirit appear before the mental gaze of the mind. These days I have repeatedly remembered Father Barsanuphius. I remembered his words, his instructions given to me once, and maybe more than once. He told me: “The Apostle bequeaths: “Test yourself whether you are in the faith,” and continued: “Look what the same Apostle says: “I have passed away, I have kept the faith, and now a crown is being prepared for me.” Yes, it is a great thing to preserve and keep the faith. Therefore, I tell you: test yourself to see if you are in the faith. If you keep the faith, you can have good faith about your fate.” – When the deceased elder told me all this (and he spoke well and with enthusiasm, as far as I remember, in the evening, in the quiet light of a lamp in his dear, cozy old man’s cell), I felt that He was saying something wondrous, lofty, spiritual. The mind and heart greedily grasped his words. I had heard this apostolic saying before, but it did not produce such an effect on me, such an impression. It seemed to me: what’s so special about keeping the faith? I believe and believe in the Orthodox way, I have no doubts about my faith. But then I felt that there was something great in this saying; what is truly great: despite all the temptations, all the experiences of life, all the temptations - to keep in my heart the fire of holy faith unquenchable and unquenchable even to death, for it is said: “The course has ended,” that is, the whole earthly life has already been lived, the path that had to be taken has already been passed, I am already on the verge of earthly life, another life has already begun beyond the grave, which my faith has prepared for me, which I complied “I passed away, I kept the faith.” And the wondrous elder commanded me to test myself from time to time in the truths of the Orthodox faith, so as not to deviate from them without noticing. He advised, among other things, to read the Orthodox catechism of Metropolitan Philaret and get acquainted with the “Confession of Faith of the Eastern Patriarchs.” Now, when the foundations of the Russian Orthodox Church have been shaken, I see how precious the elder’s instruction is. Now, it seems, the time has come to test whether we are in the faith. After all, you also need to know that faith can be maintained by someone who ardently and sincerely believes, to whom God is dearer than anything else, and this last thing can only be achieved by someone who keeps himself from all sin, who preserves his morality. Oh, Lord, keep me in faith by Your grace. The idea of ​​​​the possibility of preserving the faith only with good morality is not mine, this is both the Gospel and the Patristic teaching. This is what it says in St. Gospel of John, ch. III, 19–21: “Light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, for they were evil because of their deeds. Everyone who does evil hates the Light and does not come to the Light, so that his deeds will not be exposed, for they are evil: he does the truth, he will come to the Light, so that his deeds will be revealed, as in God: the essence is done.” Here Christ calls Himself Light. He convinces the Jews of His time to abandon the search for glory from men, in which the search for glory from the One God is impossible, in which man is incapable of faith; they only mocked... “How can you believe, accepting glory from each other, and not seeking glory from the One God?” (Ev. John 5:44). And ep. Ignatius Brianchaninov, pointing to these words of the Gospel, says that, like other passions, the passion of vanity destroys faith in the human heart: like them, it makes the human heart incapable of faith in Christ, of confessing Christ... Therefore, I earnestly ask your holy prayers, may the Lord preserve me from all evil, that is, sin in all its forms - then no external situation can harm me. I just wanted to briefly inform you that I am healthy and alive, and more than any hope, I have become interested in writing. When I wrote, I barely had time to follow my thoughts and write down what it dictated to me. All this somehow spilled out of my pen involuntarily, and it is my deep conviction... May the Lord bless you all. I ask all the holy prayers, and I, to the best of my weak strength, always remember prayerfully for everyone. Sorry. The grace of our Lord and God Jesus Christ and the love of God and the Father and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen. November 15/28–16/29, 1922. Teachings of Hieromonk Nikon It was a long time ago. I don’t remember why the now deceased Fr. The archpriest once asked me during Great Lent to serve the late liturgy for him in the cathedral. I happily agreed. It was the fifth week of Holy Lent. At one time I began serving the liturgy and served quietly. It's time to read St. Gospels. Having handed over to St. Gospel for reading to the hierodeacon, I, as usual, standing at the high place behind the throne, prepared to listen to the Divine verbs of the eternal life. And so the deacon read: “Behold, we are ascending to Jerusalem, and the Son of man will be handed over to the bishop and the scribes, and they will condemn Him to death and hand Him over to the pagans: and they will mock Him and hurt Him and spit on Him and kill Him: and on the third day He will rise again.” (Mark 47, ch. 10, 33–45). My sinful heart trembled within me. I vividly remembered what happened many years ago. I remembered the monastery, our quiet monastery, which raised us spiritually. I remembered our deceased elder, dear elder, father and mentor, who blessed us, tried to sow the good seeds of spiritual life and monasticism in our hearts, delved into the meaning of the Holy Scriptures and understood its spiritual, mysterious meaning. I remembered how once on the fifth Sunday of Great Lent, after the liturgy, having come to his cell, he asked me if I had paid attention to what the Gospel was being read during the liturgy, and, pointing to the words: “Behold, we are ascending to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed... and they will mock Him, and wound Him, and spit on Him,” he said: “These are the degrees of ascent to the Heavenly Jerusalem: they must be passed through. What level are we at? I don’t remember exactly what else was said, as far as the spiritual meaning and meaning of these words of the Gospel were concerned in general, but I remember that it was as if the conversation ended with this question. This question was asked mysteriously, thoughtfully. Listening to the elder’s words, putting them in my heart, I remained silent. And so, I don’t remember now, after how many days, and maybe even hours, the abbot announced to the elder about his transfer from the monastery to the Moscow diocese. This caused great sorrow to the elder. After all, grief should be considered not what a person experiences outwardly, but how much God allows him to be depressed by this experience, which causes grief and suffering to him and his heart. The elder truly suffered then. Sharing his sorrow with me, he once told me that due to his great internal struggle and sorrow he was afraid of going crazy. It was quite clear to both him and us that such an order from the higher authorities was a punishment for the elder, that it was arranged by his ill-wishers, that there was slander, and man-pleasing, and lies, and much more about which it is impossible to write briefly. Indeed: they mocked the elder, and wounded him, and spat on him (absurd slander and gossip about his name, they even accused him of heresy and Khlystyism), and they killed him, for from all the sorrows and experiences both in the last days of his stay in the monastery, and at the place of his new service, his old health, already weak, was undermined, and he died exactly a year later. The service assigned to him, while performing all the duties associated with him and while experiencing everything that the conditions and circumstances of life in a new place caused him, was a cross for him, and a heavy cross. Believing that the cross was sent only by God, the elder endured everything, remaining on the cross, surrendering to the will of God and without resorting to human means. He passed through the degrees of ascent to Jerusalem... All this instantly came to my mind and filled my mind and heart with feelings and thoughts. Until that time, I had never spoken words or teachings in church (I only had to read from a book), but then I had a desire to share with others, saying a word to the people. Truly, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. One thought insistently demanded to say the word, the other inspired that if I say it, I will suffer for it. The second thought inspired fear for my external well-being, and the first thought prevailed. But, not wanting to say my first word in church without a blessing, I decided, in the absence of anyone else in the altar, to offer this to the hierodeacon who served with me for reasoning and blessing. The answer was in the affirmative, and at the end of the liturgy, I came out and said my first word. I kept silent about the elder and all my memories; I began to explain the meaning of the Gospel I had read, the holy words of which filled my soul. I cannot state everything that was said to me, for I do not remember, but from a lot there is little: what filled my soul, what still lives in it, by the grace of God I will write for the edification of both you and myself. “Jerusalem in the spiritual sense,” I said, “means the Kingdom of Heaven.” Ascent into it is the earthly life of every believer who creates his own salvation. This is touchingly stated in the stichera of Great Holy Monday: “The Lord is coming to free passion, the Apostle said on the way: behold, we ascend to Jerusalem and the Son of Man is betrayed, as it is written about Him. Come, then, we too, with purified meanings, will descend to Him and be crucified and put to death for His sake with worldly passions, so that we may live with Him and hear Him crying: no one will go to earthly Jerusalem for the sake of suffering, but I will ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God, and I will exalt you with the Heavenly Jerusalem, into the Kingdom of Heaven.” He who is saved in the Lord must necessarily be given degrees of ascension to the Heavenly Jerusalem. On the path of life he inevitably encounters sorrows and temptations. You need to be prepared for them. Our human weakness does not want them, often forgets about their inevitability and desires only earthly happiness. Please note that even St. Before receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the gift of understanding the Scriptures, the apostles were not alien to the desires for temporary glory and happiness, as, for example, is narrated in the Gospel. After Christ’s words about coming sorrows and death, the sons of Zebedee ask Christ for the honors of His temporary kingdom, which they then expected, but instead of this honor, Christ promised to drink the cup of death to His friends. (See the Three Songs at Matins on Holy Monday.) Therefore, if we see our life full of sorrows and unfulfilled hopes and desires, let us not lose heart. That's how it should be. The life of a Christian should be like the life of Christ. The Holy Apostle Peter proclaims to us: “Christ suffered for us, leaving us an image, an example, so that we would follow in His footsteps.” (Episicle 1:2-21.) For this reason, Christ gave the holy commandments, so that we would abide in them, and through this we would truly be Christ’s disciples through our very lives, and not just because we are called Christians. “Then everyone will know you, My disciples, if you keep My commandments,” says the Savior to his friends, going to suffer, as it is said in the church song (see the same Three Songs). To fulfill the commandments of Christ, you need to know them. They are set out in the Gospel. Read the Holy Gospel, be imbued with His spirit, make it your rule of life, your reference book, and act in accordance with the teachings of the Gospel in every action and matter of life. This is the only light of our life. Among other commandments and teachings, we read in the Holy Gospel the one that Christ the Savior briefly pronounced: the teaching on the need for humility. He confirmed it to His disciples just before the suffering on the cross, as is narrated in the current Gospel and other places thereof. (Eg. John 13, 13–15.) Without humility you cannot be a disciple of Christ. Without humility, a person’s heart will not accept, will not assimilate Christ’s teaching. Humility of heart inspires a person to be submissive to the will of God, to humbly accept everything that the Lord pleases to send to a person on his life’s path, to subdue his mind, his reasoning, his desires into the obedience of Christ. Experience shows what bitter fruits are reaped by those who do everything according to their own intelligence, what torment the self-chosen mind (Tripesnets) inflicts on a person, into what abyss of fall and destruction abandonment of the teachings and path of Christ plunges a person. The path of Christ seems narrow and sad, but it gives the person who walks along it something that he would not exchange for any vain temporary treasures and joys of this world. So precious is what Christ the Lord gives to believers... Let us surrender ourselves entirely to the will of God, with heartfelt prayer let us beg Christ to be with Him on His path, and along it to enter the Heavenly Jerusalem... Amen. In the evening, after the all-night vigil, Father turned to us and said: - Congratulations on your holiday. God willing, we served the all-night vigil once again; maybe for the last time, but maybe not for the last... Maybe the Lord will lead us to get together and pray someday... But one way or another, it is possible that we will have to separate and go in different directions... Maybe you will have the opportunity to see me and visit me in Kozelsk, although probably not so conveniently and so often. But it's not that important. After all, what is a spiritual father needed for? In order to, with his help, walk unerringly and reach the Kingdom of Heaven, and for this it is necessary, mainly, to carry out in practice the instructions, advice and instructions of the confessor, to conduct one’s life piously. There were examples that some had the opportunity to often visit the elder, others even constantly sat near the elder, constantly heard his instructions, even lived with him and remained fruitless. And some had the rare opportunity to visit the elder and were honored to hear a brief instruction, but they succeeded... So, the strength is not in visiting your spiritual father often, but in following his instructions so as not to be fruitless. And I ask you, try so that my miserable works do not perish... I consider it necessary to remind you that I have always paid special attention to a thorough confession. There is an instruction from St. fathers and bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov, that sinful habits and passions cannot be healed without confession. Any healing will be incomplete and insufficient without confession, and with the help of confession they are conveniently eradicated. Therefore, I ask you to always pay special attention to confession, always carefully prepare for it and sincerely confess all your sins. And I always tried to confess each of you slowly and carefully and asked in detail so that nothing would be left on your conscience. And if someone through foolishness has not confessed everything openly and purely, then let him confess so that his conscience may be undefiled. There is nothing to be afraid of the confessor, and one should not be ashamed of him. The confessor knows everything, knows all sins, since he has not one soul, but hundreds confess, and you will not surprise him with any sin, no matter how great and serious it is. On the contrary, every confessed grave sin arouses in me a special concern for the soul, and I have never changed and cannot change in my attitude towards the soul, no matter what sins it has confessed; on the contrary, I worry about it more, worry about it, and care about its healing and salvation. Therefore, try not to hide anything, try to confess purely. A thorough confession is necessary, and with it good morality, a pious life, a life according to the commandments of God are also necessary. Try to have mental and physical purity, try after confession not to sin consciously, not to sin arbitrarily in the hope of repentance, since, according to the teaching of the Holy Orthodox Church, if someone sins in the hope of repentance, he is guilty of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. To deliberately sin with reckless hope in the grace of God and think: “Nothing, I’ll repent,” this is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. (Orthodox Confession of the Church of the Eastern Eastern Patriarchs. III part. Questions 38–39). Be afraid of this and guard yourself from arbitrary sins. It is one thing to sin fearlessly, consciously and not repent, but it is another thing when a person does not want to sin, cries, repents, asks for forgiveness, but due to human weakness he sins. It is human nature to sin and to fall, and one should not become discouraged and become overly sad if one has to sin. But it is typical of demons not to repent, so it is necessary to repent. Try to improve, have good morals, and keep an undefiled conscience in all respects. If there is no good morality, it will be impossible to maintain the purity and holy faith. Therefore, I draw your special attention to this and ask you to live piously in order to maintain the Orthodox faith, so that no one and nothing, no circumstances, no sorrows can tear you away from it, and for this you must certainly pray, ask for God’s help to preserve your faith immaculate. Prayer is necessary, and I ask you to practice prayer without laziness and laziness. Follow your prayer rules. If for some reason it is impossible to fulfill the whole rule, then fulfill at least half, at least some part of it, try not to remain a single day without prayer. It is said in the monastic rules that whoever does not fulfill his rules, who does not read hours 1, 3, 6 and 9 and the pictorial ones, should not eat and is dead in his soul before God. Stay in prayer. Know that if you give up prayer, if you omit the rules, you will imperceptibly reach such a state that even if you want to pray, if you have a strong need to pray, you will not be able... Your soul would like to pray, but your heart is callous and cold... and you will stand there like a lump. Through prayer, God’s help is sought, God’s blessing is attracted... A person will call for a blessing, and it will come to him, and, vice versa, as it is said: “If you do not desire a blessing, you will move away from it” (Ps. 108:17). Try to ask for God's blessing through prayer, and God's blessing and help will come. Yes, that’s right, confession, piety or good morality and prayer are necessary in the matter of saving the soul, but this is still only external, these are only works, only deeds, these are still only leaves, it is necessary to bear the fruits of good deeds, and the fruits are the following: meekness, humility and love. (Gal. 5:24.) “On whom will I look, only to him who is meek and silent and trembles at My words,” “Learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart,” and then it says: “and you will find rest for your souls.” If you are meek and humble, you do not quarrel, you yield to each other, if you are pious and blameless in all the commandments of God, then your soul will be at peace, and the peace of Christ will come to you, “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Phil. 4:7), and such peace of mind will be that then you will not fear any evil. They often sing in church, you have probably heard more than once: “The righteous will not fear evil at the hearing of evil,” but if we are afraid, worried and embarrassed just hearing about the misfortunes that are about to come, about the coming disasters and evil, then our fear exposes us to the fact that we are far from righteous, but sinners, and therefore we must humble ourselves. If we acquire meekness, we are humble, if there is peace in our hearts, then the following will be fulfilled: “Therefore everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Have love, yield to each other, give one another honor, do not please yourself, be in love, my beloved children...” And Father fell silent. There was a pause. Some began to ask him about how, where and in what way they could see him in Kozelsk and come to him. Although the priest answered, it was casually and tentatively. Then he began his speech again, saying: - All this is secondary, that is, the external conditions of our life, all this is unimportant, all this is thinner than a cobweb, and the main thing is where I started and where I end. I pay attention to your souls; The main thing in a spiritual matter is the salvation of your soul. Try so that my miserable labors for the sake of saving your souls do not go in vain, try, I repeat to you, to cleanse your souls by confession, to have good morals or piety; acquire meekness, humility, prayer and acquire love... For the rest, in everything, in appearance, let us surrender to the will of God, for the will of God is always good and perfect. Not a single hair from your head will fall without the will of God... I ask for your holy prayers, and I entrust you all to the protection of the Queen of Heaven... And Father began to bless everyone. Some cried for him, and Father said tenderly: “Wonderful ones, after all, I am a monk, I made a vow to endure all bitterness and reproach, reproach and expulsion, and if this comes true, if I endure this, then it is proper to rejoice - this is how the rite of tonsure is carried out in practice, and you must not lose heart, but you are drooling... It is said: “It is appropriate to rejoice when you fall into various temptations...” Father began to get ready to leave and said: “I remember when I was still Nikolai, Father Fr. Barsanuphius said the following prayerfully over me: - Lord, save this Thy servant. Be his Helper. Protect him when he has neither shelter nor shelter. Amen. Conversation on Saturday for St. The Supreme Apostles Peter and Paul after the all-night vigil on Sunday. One servant of God once came to me and asked me to explain to her the meaning of the words of the 136th psalm “On the rivers of Babylon.” I promised to fulfill her request, and then the idea came to me to say a few words to all of you on this topic, since this psalm is very suitable for us - monks, and especially now, when we are expelled from the holy monastery. Our present sorrowful experience is very suitable to those experiences of the Jews when they were deprived of their fatherland, their beloved Jerusalem, the holy church and led into captivity. The meaning and meaning of this psalm is suitable for us, for in it we hear sorrow and lamentation, similar to those that now fill our hearts. The psalm laments the fate of Jerusalem and the Jews. They were allowed to go into captivity in Babylon for their sins, and when they were taken captive to Babylon, they, forced by the Babylonians leading them to sing, wept bitterly, remembering their fatherland, their glorious city Jerusalem, their church. How good it was for them, what good they were deprived of, happiness, freedom and convenience of serving the Lord - and they mournfully exclaimed: “How can we sing the song of the Lord in foreign lands? Cling my tongue to my throat, lest I forget you, O Jerusalem.” “Let my tongue stick to my larynx,” they said, “if we forget you, Jerusalem, if we seek other consolation besides you.” We, the monks, are experiencing a similar sorrow, a similar sadness at the present time. They are driving us out of monasteries, they want us to forget our holy monasteries, so that we leave the image of monastic life, so that we begin a different life, a worldly life, so that we neglect our monastic vows. But... no. Let our tongue also stick to our larynx if we forget our monastic life, if we forget our monastic vows, abandon serving the Lord, neglect His holy commandments and walk along the wide and spacious path of this world in oblivion and sins. “Stick my tongue to my throat, lest I remember you, O Jerusalem.” May this not happen to us. Let us always invariably remember how good it was for us in the holy monasteries, in which the very environment, living conditions and everything aroused in us the desire to serve the Lord, to fulfill his holy commandments, encouraged us to keep our conscience, cleanse our hearts from passions, gave birth to good pious thoughts and feelings, where everything disposed us to a godly life. Although now they are trying to take away from us all these conveniences for spiritual work, we will not forget our vows, we will not abandon our monastic life, we will strive to serve the Lord in diligent fulfillment of His holy commandments, even in a worldly setting. I notice that many of you are very sad that you have to move to another place... I myself will have to leave here one of these days. It’s a pity to leave the monastery; you can’t help but feel sad. But although this sadness is completely natural and understandable, we should not forget that all this is external, and therefore is not of primary importance, that this is not what we need to grieve over primarily. In our present life of sorrow, we should not cry and grieve inconsolably, although we are scattered, separated, and forced to forcibly leave our holy abodes. After all, here, as in everything, there is the will of God, allowing us to endure this for our sins, and it is also said: “Blessed are you when they separate you and revile you...”. This is not what we need to grieve about, but we need to delve deeper into ourselves and carefully monitor our thoughts, feelings and cry about the passionate, sinful feelings, desires, thoughts that exist in us; we must certainly expel them as displeasing to God, and, having expelled them, we must not allow them into our hearts, for we cannot sing the Lord’s song in a passionate state. It is impossible for a passionate heart, an unrefined heart, to proclaim hymns of praise to God. What is appropriate for such a heart defiled by sins is not hymns of praise, but bitter repentant crying about one’s sinful, passionate state, crying about one’s sinful captivity and prayerful sighing to the Lord for help. It is necessary to cleanse your heart from all sinful filth, for only with a pure heart can you sing a new song to God. “I have endured the Lord” in labor for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, and “he has listened to me and heard my prayer.” “And lift me up from the pit of passions and from the clay of the mire, and set me on the stones of the faith of Christ, my feet, and straighten my steps,” i.e. directing and confirming in the doing of the holy commandments of God.” And put a new song in my mouth, singing to our God” (Ps. 39:1-4). So, we must look at everything more deeply, from the spiritual side, and the Lord, according to the word of the Apostle, wants everyone to be saved, for for those who love God, everything works for the good, everything serves as a means for salvation, for everything external, with the help of God and with one’s sincere desire, can be turned into good for oneself. The only evil is sin. And St. the fathers, seeing a spiritual meaning in everything external, interpret this psalm this way: by the captivity of Babylon they meant the captivity of a person’s soul by sin, when a person is in captivity to sinful passions. “How can I sing the song of the Lord in foreign lands?” - so they exclaimed, calling the passionate state of the heart an alien land. It is impossible, impossible to theologize in a passionate state, to sing songs of praise to the Lord - you need to cry, you need, you absolutely must, first of all, take care and try to cleanse the land of your heart from everything passionate, vicious, from all sinful thoughts and feelings with repentant crying. - “Daughters of Babylon, accursed, blessed is he who has and will dash your babies against the stone...” Many are amazed at the cruelty that seems to them in these words, taking everything literally. True, this was understood in the Old Testament, but in Christ’s new grace it is understood completely differently. Infants here, as explained by St. Fathers, the passionate thoughts that arise and the passionate movements are named. These are the passionate thoughts and movements, as soon as they arise, as soon as they are born, at the very beginning of their emergence, so to speak, in their infancy, not allowing them to grow, but while they are still small and not strengthened, they must be destroyed, smashed against the Stone. And the Stone is Christ. Beat with the name of Jesus, destroy with the prayer of Jesus and in general with the means of the grace of Christ these infants of Babylon. This is the deep understanding of the words of this psalm that the saints left us. fathers. I involuntarily recall here the dream of Father Barsanuphius, which he personally told me. He saw himself standing in some church high in the choir. A line of babies pass in front of him, one after another. One walks past him in the choir, falls from the choir and breaks on the floor; the other passes in exactly the same way, falls and breaks; the third also, they all go and fall and break. One of them lingered near Father, apparently wanting to attract his attention and sympathy, but Father angrily shouted at him, and he fell from the choir and was broken. So, indeed, the Babylonian babies were broken by Father Barsanuphius on a stone. So, indeed, he overcame sinful passions by the power of Christ, by the name of Jesus: “Blessed is he who is and will dash your babies against the stone.” Evil thoughts and passionate movements did not linger, did not linger in Father’s heart - these Babylonian babies, but they were broken on the Stone. Likewise, we should never stop thinking. Let them pass by if they came to us; reflect them with the Jesus Prayer. Let them not find sympathy for themselves in your hearts. Try to cleanse your hearts, for this it is necessary, as I have told you more than once, in addition to the Jesus Prayer, the memory of God, a thorough and frank confession, and I must note with regret that some of you not only do not reveal your shortcomings, but even deceive me, your spiritual father, lie to me. Until now I have not said this, I have not denounced it for reasons known to me, but now I am telling you that I see and notice how sometimes I am deceived, and this upsets me. You must have frankness and sincerity towards your confessor, and not guile. Try to thoroughly cleanse your hearts from everything displeasing to God by frank confession, the Jesus Prayer and fulfilling the commandments of God, since only a cleansed heart can sing the song of the Lord. Another psalm immediately comes to mind (the 100th), which is read at the first hour: “I will sing to You of mercy and judgment, Lord,” for in this psalm one can also see the teaching about the inner work and prayer of Jesus: “In the morning I have slain all the sinners of the earth.” In the morning, that is, at the very beginning, at the very beginning, as soon as these sinners of the earth appear, passionate manifestations of our hearts - Babylonian babies, we must beat them. I have already explained the meaning of this psalm to you: the blameless path, accomplished by fulfilling all the commandments of God. When a person lives immaculately in everything, when his only desire is to unite with the Lord in prayer and spiritual life in general, he exclaims: “When will You, Lord, come to me?” A person tests himself, looks after himself and sees that he is not involved in evil deeds, and asks the Lord to come to him. In the Jesus Prayer, in guarding the heart, in sobriety and attention, in mercy and spiritual reasoning, a person spends his life, does not allow himself to have an evil heart against anyone, does not direct the eyes of his heart on anything contrary to the law of God; every criminal act is removed out of hatred of sin and sinful thoughts and feelings. Sin is so disgusting to a person that he does not pay any attention to its manifestations in himself: an enemy came and wanted to tempt the servant of God to commit some kind of sin, but without succeeding in his intention, he left him. The servant of God did not enjoy the proposed sin, did not pay any attention to it, did not even know what kind of sin the enemy came with. “I have not known the evil one who turns away from Me.” The servant of God expels every thought slandering his neighbor from his heart; he does not allow himself condemnation, pride, envy, or an unsatisfied heart. All the attention of the ascetic, keeping his heart “on the faithful land,” is directed toward good thoughts and feelings, approved by the faith of Christ, for they help to follow the immaculate path. He listens to good thoughts and feelings and rejects all evil, everything sinful - in a word, he beats in the morning all the sinful lands in order to destroy from the city of the Lord all those who do iniquity, calling every sin the workers of iniquity, for sin is lawlessness, and calling his soul the city of the Lord, for the soul of man is intended for the Lord to dwell in it, as the Lord Himself said in the Holy Gospel: “We will come.” We will make an abode with him,” and the Lord’s entry into the human soul is prepared by the expulsion of all sin from it. These are the thoughts that arise in the soul when delving into the meaning of the words of this psalm. It speaks of the inner life of a person who is already conquering passions, close to perfection, preparing his heart to receive the Lord, and the psalm “On the Rivers of Babylon” speaks of the inner life of a person who has not yet been cleansed of passions, although he is aware of his sinful state, wanting to be freed from it and therefore pleasing those people who are already conquering passions: “Blessed is he who has them and will dash your babies against the stone.” It is fitting for us, passionate ones who have not yet been cleansed of passions, who are still in captivity in Babylon, to cry over our sins, and should try in the morning to beat the sinners of the land of our hearts, while they are still babies. We will both take care and worry about this. Let us pray to the Lord about this, asking for His all-powerful help, and we will leave the rest to the will of God... Let us pray to the Lord, may He help us work out our salvation and never forget our monastic vows. I ask you to pray for me so that I can begin to correct myself at least a little... Peace and salvation to you... In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. You heard today in the Gospel reading how the Lord called His disciples, and how they obediently obeyed Him, how obediently they followed Him. He only said to them: “Follow Me,” and it is said: “I rose up and went,” and this is because the soul of each of them was, so to speak, prepared for the call of God. Just as in ancient times the Lord called His disciples, so now He never ceases to call each of us to Himself. But our souls have become very hardened and cling to the earth, and we do not hear the voice of the Lord, we remain and remain in our unrepentant state. Such obedience of the holy apostles is touching, and such bitterness and unbelief of modern people is saddening. I ask you, brothers and sisters, listen to the voice of God, which constantly calls you. There was and is no shortage of God’s call. Look: the churches of God are open, divine services are being performed, isn’t this the call of God? You hear the gospel, calling you to the church of God for prayer - isn’t this the call of God? In church we hear a sermon, the word of God - isn’t this the call of God? We hear about ancient and modern miracles and various manifestations of God’s mercy and glory - and isn’t this the call of God? Yes, if we each impartially take a closer look at our own lives and delve into it, we will see that the Lord has repeatedly called us and is calling us to Himself. Even if sorrows and temptations befall us, they are also a call from God for us, for they distract us from sin and earthly attachments, and remind us of heaven. And after this we have no excuse or forgiveness if we remain deaf to such a constantly heard call of God. Even in ancient times, the prophet, foreseeing our disastrous time, cried out: “Do not harden your hearts, do not be like the ancient Jews, who in the desert, like a deaf adder, stopped their ears so as not to hear the voice of God” (Ps. 57:5). Let us accept these words in our hearts and try to improve. And in order for our heart to be ready and capable of accepting the call of God, it is necessary to cleanse it of all evil, so that there is no malice in it, no addiction to anything, especially to anything sinful. When there is an addiction in the heart to some nasty, sinful matter, to some worldly matter or to anything at all, then this is a wall that separates us from God, does not allow us to follow Christ, to be His disciples, for it is said that “whoever does not renounce all his possessions and does not hate (with holy hatred) everything that can distract us from God by addiction to himself cannot be a disciple of Christ” ( Luke 14; 26, 27, 33). This wall is destroyed by true repentance, correction of life and rejection of everything sinful; then a person can freely follow Christ as His faithful disciple. Therefore, I ask you all, beloved brothers and sisters, to bring sincere repentance to God and ask the Lord for help and correction of your life. Let us now pray, as always, to the Mother of God before the icon of Her “Unexpected Joy,” and now, if any of you is touched by the call of God, if a person hears this call and turns to the path of truth and virtue, then truly this will be an unexpected, unexpected holy joy. Let us pray that the Queen of Heaven will help us correct ourselves, purify our hearts and hear the call of God, calling us to the Kingdom of Heaven, where there is no sorrow or sighing, but a blissful, endless life... Amen. Word spoken in the week about Zacchaeus You have heard that in today’s Gospel it was read about Zacchaeus the tax collector, how the Lord Jesus Christ visited him, and how from this visit he changed and corrected himself. Publicans were people who collected taxes from the people; they often committed abuses when collecting taxes, offended people, took excess from them, and they were subject to other infirmities. For all this they were held in contempt by everyone, as sinners. Such was Zacchaeus. But the Lord was not disgusted by his sins, was not disgusted by them. He told the publican that he would visit him at his house. The heart of Zacchaeus was filled with joy - he received the Lord in his home, and this visit made such an impression on him that he was completely changed; in his heart he became different, not the same as he was, and promised the Lord the correction of his life. “Lord,” he said, “I will return what I have offended someone with, and not only will I return this that is not mine, something that does not belong to me, taken unjustly, but I will give alms from my own property.” This is the change that took place in Zacchaeus. Why is this so? Why did this man, who offended people, suddenly become merciful and generous, suddenly change completely? “Because, beloved brothers and sisters, he hated his sin.” Having seen Christ in his presence - Pure, Holy, Sinless - he saw in comparison with Christ his own sinfulness, his uncleanness, his moral fall. He saw this, and a spark of unhypocritical desire to improve was lit in his heart. I draw your special attention to this. People who are sick at heart come to us, confessors, to repent of their sins, but they do not want to part with them, especially they do not want to part with any of their favorite sins. This reluctance to leave sin, this secret love for sin is what makes a person unable to sincerely repent, and therefore does not result in healing of the soul. What a person was before confession, remained so during confession, and continues to remain so after confession. It shouldn't be like this. One must, like Zacchaeus, sincerely hate one’s sin, wish with all one’s soul to be corrected and love the virtue opposite to sin, love the law of God. By carefully reading or listening to the holy psalms and delving into the meaning of the wonderful words of the psalms, we can receive a lot of edification. By the way, in one psalm we read the following words: “The law of his God is in his heart, and his feet will not falter” (Ps. 36:31). Deep meaning and wonderful edification lie in these words. When a person, so to speak, puts the law of God, the holy commandments of God in his heart, and loves them, then he will hate sin, will be inflamed with a desire for life in the Lord, and will restrain himself from all sin. In every activity, in every activity, even the most ordinary, everyday one, such a person will check his actions, his intentions by the law of God, which must constantly be in the mind and heart of a person, and reject everything that does not agree with the law, and accept everything that agrees. Here a person encounters some sin, some evil deed on his life’s path or in his thoughts and desires. But, if the law of God comes first in a person’s heart, the heart of such a person, looking at the law of God, says: The Lord does not allow me to do this. How can I allow myself to do this, how can I allow it, when it is contrary to His holy commandments? And man does not commit sin. And if he always and everywhere resists all sin, then his feet do not falter, he does not stumble, does not stray from the right path, does not wander along the paths of sin... “The law of his God is in his heart, and his steps will not falter.” But the enemy of the human race does not sleep, he wants to trample a person’s feet, lead him off the road. He fights a person in all possible ways and means, he initiates mental warfare, that is, a fight against sin in a person’s thoughts with the goal of plunging a person into sin in deed. This fight is hard. It sometimes brings a person to despondency and relaxation, even to the point of consent to sin. And this consent to sin is already a sin before God. And you need to repent of it. But if a person restrained himself and did not fall into sin himself, it means that his feet did not falter, he did not stumble. But as soon as a person lets go of the commands of God’s law from his memory and from the feeling of his heart, sin seduces him, and he falls, his feet stumble, he goes astray, sinning not only in thought, but also in deed. That is why we, beloved brothers and sisters, need to always have the law of God in our hearts. Then, in our mental struggle with sin, we will hate sin more and more and love virtue, gradually the love of God and virtue with sincere repentance of sins will increase, the heart will strive more and more for God, the spiritual beauty of God’s law will captivate the heart of man more and more and, finally, a person can move into that wonderful and desired state, being in which he will be able to exclaim as the Apostle exclaimed: “Who will he separate us from the love of God?” (and love for God, first of all, is expressed in keeping God’s commandments) - neither sorrow, nor persecution, nor oppression, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else... as you heard these words in the current apostolic reading (Rom. 8:35-39). This is what sincere repentance ultimately leads to. Therefore, I earnestly ask you all, brothers and sisters, to try to hate your sins, to bring sincere repentance for them, to sincerely desire to correct yourself, as Zacchaeus desired. Then our repentance will have good fruits, love for God and His holy law will be established in our hearts, and we will follow the right path to the salvation of our souls. Amen. “In the Psalter of ten strings I sing to You” “In the ten-stringed Psalter I sing to You” - this is what it says in the psalm of the king and prophet David. What does it mean? Every saying of Holy Scripture has, in addition to historical meaning, another, internal, deep meaning. So these words, in addition to their historical meaning, have a mysterious, spiritual meaning. The Prophet King David sang his psalms while playing the psalter. This is a musical instrument that had ten strings. This is the historical meaning. The spiritual, mysterious meaning of these words is this: the ten-stringed psalter is a person with his five external and five internal spiritual feelings, on which, as if on ten strings, a person should sing to the Lord, that is, conduct his life in accordance with the commandments of God, so that all behavior, all life would be, as it were, constant Divine singing. “I sing to my God until I am” (Ps. 103:33). This is what the Optina elder Leo said when they asked him what he was doing, and at that time he was receiving the people: “I sing to my God, until I am.” And he could say so, for he, indeed, lived according to the holy commandments of God, his life was, indeed, true godly singing. This singing is spiritual life. When the strings of a psalter are not tuned as they should, when they sound out of tune, discordant, it is impossible to play it. She cannot make harmonious sounds, she cannot produce the right song. So in a person, when his feelings are not brought into harmony and do not have a common consonant aspiration towards God, when a person still loves sin, or when sin against the will of a person rapes him, then he cannot emit the harmonious sounds of spiritual life, cannot sing a holy song, a Divine song with all his life, with all his behavior, with all his feelings. You need to force yourself to put yourself in order, you need to work hard for the sake of the Lord, endure all the hardships and inconveniences in the struggle with yourself, with your passions, for it is said: “By enduring the Lord, you listened to me and heard my prayer. And bring me up from the pit of passions and from the clay of the mire, and set me on the stones of my feet and straighten my steps: and put into my mouth a new song, a song to our God” (Ps. 39:1-4). We must endure and wait for God's mercy. When one learns to play the violin, then at first the player produces very unpleasant, irregular, sharp sounds, they are so unpleasant that it seems that he would run away wherever his eyes look from these sounds. But gradually a person gets used to it, learns to play, the sounds become more and more correct, and finally, the gentle beautiful sounds of wonderful music flow. Some people succeed faster, others take longer; sometimes, even with all the efforts, the player just doesn’t get better at it; it always turns out differently than he would like. It takes patience. So it is in spiritual life. A person wants one thing, but he does something completely different, not what he wants. His mind wants one thing, but his feelings demand another. And a person sees and feels painfully that this is not all right, he understands that he is not doing well, not as he should, he even becomes despondent, seeing that he is not succeeding in the fight against passions, that his spiritual life is not improving. But no, you don’t need to be discouraged, you need to be patient... You need to patiently force yourself to do every virtue for the Lord’s sake, soberly monitor all your feelings, thoughts, deeds, you need to call on the Lord God for help, you need to come to humility and realize that with your deeds, without Divine help, a person will not accomplish anything. And when, finally, the vessel of a person’s soul and body is prepared, when the strings of his psalter are tuned in all humility, patience and piety... then the time will come and wonderful singing will be heard, and beautiful wondrous sounds of spiritual life will flow and “they will see many and fear and trust in the Lord” (Ps. 39:4), for from the union with the Lord this inexpressible singing is obtained. There is a piano standing, ready to play, its strings are taut, it is open... but silent. Why is she silent? - Because there is no player. Who is this player? This player is the Holy Spirit, as it is said: “Let us come to him and make our abode with him” (John 14:23). The Holy Spirit will come and unite the feelings of soul and body cut by sin, and then man will begin to live in God and for God. Father Barsanuphius told me the mysterious meaning of this psalm. I remember we had lunch with him. After lunch, Father went to the washstand, washed his mustache, took a towel and, wiping his mustache, said to me: “Father Nikolai, look at Zigaben’s interpretation of the words of the psalm: “In the ten-stringed psalter I sing to You.” I read it and it contained a brief historical and mysterious interpretation. Father listened and said: “This has now been revealed to me.” And then I thought: “Here is a man wiping his mustache after dinner, and spiritual secrets are being revealed to him. Such spiritual illumination happens to spiritually minded people who sing to God throughout their entire lives, regardless of time or situation, sometimes completely unexpectedly and not in prayer, but like Father Fr. Barsanuphius dined, and secrets were revealed to him. He apparently understood the deep mysterious meaning of both church prayers and St. Scriptures. “I heard, O Lord, the sight of Your sacrament, I understood Your works and glorified Your Divinity” (Irmos 8, chapter 4 hymn). Amen. “My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready: I ​​will sing and sing in my glory, Arise, my glory, arise, psaltery and harp, I will arise early. Let us confess to You among the people, Lord, I will sing to You among the nations” (Ps. 56:8-10; 107:1-4). These words were repeated several times by Elder Hieroschemamonk Anatoly (Zertsalov), head of the Optina Hermitage Skete († 1894) before his death. How much deep, mysterious meaning lies in these divinely inspired words of the Psalmist. You begin to reflect on this topic, and there is no end to the reflections: so immense, so deep is the wondrous content that lies in these words of the psalm. The Lord God, desiring to create man, miraculously created him: he bestowed upon him indescribable glory. He created it in His image and likeness, reflecting His Divine glory on it. He wonderfully designed him, gave him beauty and grace in the structure of his body itself, gave him an immortal soul, endowing it with great spiritual gifts, providing it with wonderful abilities, made him the ruler, the manager of all the visible creations of this world. Man has been given a soul; with his immortal soul he rises above all visible creations. There is no one or anything in visible nature equal to man. Man is given a high mind, and with his mind man rises above all nature: she is subdued under his feet. For example: he invents various tools, machines, and with them overcomes the forces and elements of nature. A person is not able to fight fire with his bare hands - he makes machines and defeats the element of fire. He cannot walk on the waters, does not have the strength to swim across long distances, but he builds boats and ships and conquers the water element. He does not have the strength to fight the beast - he makes tools with the help of which he defeats the beast and overcomes it. Is this not the greatness, the glory of man? And all this still applies only to the ordinary natural abilities of a person. And if we look at the saints, we will see what wondrous glory and power they were vouchsafed with; they conquered nature with moral strength by the grace of God: they walked on the sea as on dry land; were carried through the air by Divine power, wild animals served them, like meek lambs, recognizing them as their master; with their prayer they brought rain down to the earth and performed other wondrous miracles. It is impossible to list them. The Holy Scripture describes the greatness of man in this way: “Thou hast made him a little less than an angel; thou hast crowned him with glory and honor: and thou hast placed thy hand over his works; thou hast subdued all things under his nose” (Ps. 8:6-7). What greater greatness, greater glory can one desire and expect? Oh, truly, the Lord has generously poured out His mercy on man. It would seem that a person, having such gifts, will appreciate them and will live as his human dignity inspires him - according to God's desires and commands. But, unfortunately, what do we see? We see that man has not understood, has not appreciated the unspeakable glory he has been honored with from the Creator and His God, and it is said in the psalm: “a man who is in honor without understanding, has become like the foolish cattle and has become like them” (Ps. 48:13). And for this, by the righteous judgment of God, he lost his glory: “from his glory he was made to waste” (Ps. 48:15). Being in such honor, in such glory, man did not understand his dignity, fell, and became like senseless cattle. O great fall! To what abyss and darkness sin casts a person. Truly, he is likened to cattle, he feeds his soul, his immortal soul, with bestial food, that soul on which the image of God is inscribed, that soul to which is given the ability to become like God. Without speaking in detail about the destructive effect of shameful, prodigal passions, which so strikingly and uglyly liken a person to cattle, let us draw attention to the fact that absolutely every passion takes away from a person the image of a person, making him similar to cattle and beasts. Look at what anger and malice do, for example. A man, overwhelmed by anger, becomes all animal-like, his eyes throw sparks, his face is distorted - he seems ready to devour his neighbor. And all passions and sins in general: gluttony, unbelief, love of money and others - turn a person into a beast. Truly, it is necessary to cry out to man here; oh, where have you hidden from me, my human dignity, my honor, my glory. But the Lord God did not want to leave his beautiful creation - man - in the fall. He wanted, out of His immeasurable love for mankind, to redeem man from his fall, from sin. He wanted to raise him, to restore him to his former glory, his former dignity. Incomprehensible to us humans, the Lord performs the redemption of the human race after the fall of Adam. By his incarnation, suffering, death and resurrection. And out of His immeasurable love and mercy, He gives the fallen and recreated man in Christ not only his first dignity, but also grants him the ability to further improve himself. In redemption, man is given the ability to endlessly, limitlessly approach God, to eternal pleasure in the knowledge of God. He can become a partaker of the Divine nature. (2 Peter 1:4) This thought is beautifully expressed in the church sticheron for the feast of the Annunciation in the words: “For let him, as Silenus alone, raise man to the first possession with dissolution.” So, after the redemption of man, the Lord crowned him with even greater glory and honor, for example, in the sacraments of St. Church, especially in the sacrament of St. The Eucharist, which the angels desire to partake of, for the atoning Sacrifice is offered only for man, but not for the angels. In this, one might say, the angels even seem to envy man, not being able to receive Holy Communion. Mysteries of Christ... But even after the redemption of man by the Holy Blood of Christ the Savior, man fell and is falling into sin, dropping his glory, trampling on it and becoming like senseless cattle. Again the man lies cast into the dust, in sorrowful dishonor. And on behalf of such a person, who has lost his glory, who has forgotten his human dignity, who has lost his former property, St. the prophet exclaims: “Arise, my glory.” Remember, O man, who you were and what you have become; remember your glory with which the Lord crowned you, remember your glory and leave your bestial way of life, return to your former dignity... “Arise my glory, arise the psaltery and the harp...” The psalter and harp are called, according to the interpretation of St. fathers, our mental and physical feelings and abilities. “Arise to the psaltery and harp,” that is, prepare the whole person, with all your strength, both mental and physical, to sing the Divine, to live in the Lord. You, my psalter, as if the prophet were saying, have been abandoned for a long time, perhaps there is a large layer of dust on you, your strings are rusty, you are all upset, perhaps broken, and if you strike your strings, you will not get harmonious sounds: they, your strings, will emit rattling, shapeless, soul-wrenching sounds. Oh, arise, arise, my psalter. You need to tune your strings, you need to put the whole instrument in order, because if even one string is out of tune, you won’t get harmonious sounds, irregularity will be heard, and it will spoil the whole structure, all the harmony. All singing will be ruined, even if all the other strings sound harmonious. Both in music and in spiritual life. “You cannot serve God and mammon” (Matthew 6:24), you cannot serve God and sin. A person, according to the Gospel, must love the Lord with all his soul, with all his strength, with all his heart, with all his thoughts (Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27), without giving over to sin a single feeling, not a single ability of his soul or body. So is St. the Apostle James says that if anyone sins in one thing, he is guilty against the whole law; if he breaks one commandment, he breaks the whole law (James 2:9-11). So, get ready, arise, all psalms and harps, correct yourself, tune in to proper singing, to proper playing. A person has reached the realization of the need for rebellion, he is ready to give up a sinful life, break off all communication with sin, and turn with his whole being to God. The enemy, the devil, sees this and whispers to the person: “Where? For what? You’ll still have time.” Whispers, wanting to weaken the person's resolve. But the person resolutely rejects the enemy’s suggestions and, encouraging himself, says: “There is no need to hesitate. Quicker. I'll get up early. Now, immediately, without delay, I will rise. I will rise up and begin to immediately tune my psalter and harp to singing, that is, to living in accordance with the law of God.” And so another life begins, a spiritual life in communion with the Lord. She is not without difficulties. Man is faced with sorrows, trials, and struggles with sin. From time to time, the consequences of previously accepted evil and sin, which are renewed in the mind and feeling of a person, languish. But the desire to be with the Lord, to seek joy, peace and eternal bliss in Him alone overcomes everything. A person works, is in a feat, prepares himself. In such a feat, most years, even decades, pass. Finally, testing himself, a person sees and feels that all desire for the sweets of this corruptible world has died in him, that his heart has become deadened to enjoy corruptible beauty, that as the One and True Beauty, incorruptible, as the single goal of all his aspirations and desires, Christ stands before him. A man sees the state of his heart and cries out: “My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready.” Now that it is ready, “I will sing and sing in my glory.” My former glory arose, my heart was prepared, it became capable of singing the Divine. Now “I will sing and sing,” that is, I will not stop singing, praising God, serving the Lord God, in serving God, in living according to God, in the Jesus Prayer I will place the whole goal of my life. Until now I had groaned under the burden of passions and attacks of the enemy, I could not sing joyful songs, I offered to God a tender prayer of repentance, for I saw and constantly had before my eyes my sinful captivity, my glory cast down to the ground. But now that my glory has risen, I will sing and sing in my glory. Now “let us confess to You among the people, Lord, I will sing to You among the nations.” I will talk, tell about the deeds of the Lord that were revealed to me, a sinner, I will thank God for His mercy towards me before all people. I will not be afraid, I will not be ashamed to lead the life required of me by the Law of God, in every nation, in every place. “I will sing and sing in my glory.” These words are already, so to speak, the delight of the holy soul. Elder Anatoly could exclaim like that. We are far from this, it is more fitting for us to cry about our fall, but still we must strive in every possible way to raise our fallen glory and for this we must first of all cleanse ourselves from sins. Our entire initial feat must be focused on the fight against sin, on cleansing the heart from passions in repentance and humility. And the Lord, seeing our humility and labor, will forgive our sins (Ps. 24:18), the heart will be cleansed - and then our glory will arise in the singing of the Divine song... May the Lord vouchsafe this to us by His mercy. One day I opened my diary to the page where it was written that Father Barsanuphius told me: “One layman asked me: “Tell me, Father, how should I live?” I thought: what should I answer him, what short edification should I say? Then I say: “Have you read the Psalter?” - “Yes, I read it.” - “If you have read it, you should remember that in one psalm there are the following words: “The Lord will guide the meek into judgment, He will teach the meek in His way” (Ps. 24:9). What do these words mean? And these words mean that the Lord Himself teaches the ways of the Lord, and not man, that only the Lord Himself can teach the ways of the Lord. But the Lord does not teach all people, but only the meek, because whoever humbles himself in heart makes his soul capable of accepting Divine teaching—only such do the Lord teach.” This is the end of my diary. But yesterday, after thinking about this for a long time, I came to a more detailed discussion. I reason that if a person could teach the ways of the Lord, that is, teach how to live in order to be saved, then learned theologians would be the first to be saved. Meanwhile, in reality it turns out that this is not the case, namely, that very many learned people do not follow the path of the Lord. Let's take, for example, theologians who graduated from the academy, how often they do not follow the path of the Lord, but, on the contrary, the path of sin. I had to meet people who had completed a course in theological sciences and said that they would be willing to study anything but theology, and at the same time they boast that they know the Christian spirit and even write spiritual works. But what does a person need to learn the ways of the Lord? It is necessary for a person to be meek and humble, and then the Lord Himself will teach how to walk the path of the Lord. Knowing this is especially important at the present time, when the scarcity of mentors is so noticeable. Humble yourself with the help of God, be meek, have no malice towards your neighbors, prepare your soul with a meek, good life to receive Divine teaching, and the Lord Himself will teach His ways. If we begin to look through the Psalter, we will see that there are many expressions there that speak about the ways of the Lord and their spiritual understanding. For example: “He will lead the meek to judgment,” - this saying is interpreted as follows: the Lord will vouchsafe the meek people with spiritual reasoning, - this is how Bishop understands it. Ignatius Brianchaninov. In Psalm 1, which begins with the words: “Blessed is the man,” it is written: “For this reason the wicked will not rise again for judgment, lower than the sinner for the council of the righteous” (Ps. 1:5). This saint interprets this expression in such a way that no wicked and sinful soul will rise to spiritual heights and will not have spiritual reasoning. Ep. Ignatius Brianchaninov led a Christian, ascetic life, and he was vouchsafed spiritual reasoning and spiritually understood the teachings of Christ and, in general, all of Holy Scripture. So, a meek person will be taught by the Lord on the path of Christ. Further in the Psalter there is the following expression: “All the ways of the Lord are mercy and truth” (Ps. 24:9). According to the interpretation of Father Ambrose, which Fr. Agapit, these words mean that the ways of the Lord require two things from a person: mercy and truth. How should we understand this? Here’s how: everyone who wants to follow the Lord’s paths immaculately must show all mercy and condescension towards their neighbors, even those who sin, and demand from themselves the fulfillment of all truth, all legal righteousness. In relation to ourselves, we must be unwashed judges, we must strictly correct all our actions according to the commandments of the Law of God, and towards our neighbors we must always be merciful and condescending - and this will be a sign that a person is following the path of the Lord. If a person does not demand the fulfillment of the Lord’s commandments in relation to himself, then he cannot follow the ways of the Lord, and therefore will not be a true Christian. And if he fulfills them, then with any rank and external position he will be a Christian, and an official at the post office, and an archimandrite, and a bishop - everyone can fulfill the commandments of Christ, the virtues of the Gospel and can observe those who can be true followers of Christ’s teaching. “All the ways of the Lord, mercy and truth,” let us observe ourselves in order to implement “mercy and truth” in life, then we will be on the path of the Lord and will lead a Christian life. Some people are lenient towards themselves, but unmerciful towards their neighbors, it’s just that sometimes they are even ready to torture the soul of their neighbor, but we must do the opposite. This is how good it is to write down a useful thought or saying, I forgot about this interpretation, but my diary reminded me. I will add that modern interpretations do not satisfy me; True, there is something in them, there are lofty thoughts, but still this is not enough and one always remains to desire more. Modern interpreters interpret everything, but more from a historical point of view, and not from a spiritual - mysterious one. But it happens that a person is under special spiritual illumination, then a deep, mysterious meaning appears in his interpretation. This spiritual insight visited Father Barsanuphius. It visited St. fathers. This is clearly seen in their writings. Sometimes, with one word of Holy Scripture cited in support of a particular thought, the deepest meaning is immediately revealed. A word spoken after the late liturgy of the 9th week on July 27, 1925. “And having let the nations go, I went up to the mountain alone to pray, but when I was later, I was alone. The ship was in the middle of the sea, howling with waves: the wind was against it. In the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “As if there were a ghost,” and they cried out in fear. And Jesus spoke to them, saying: Be of good cheer. It's seven, don't be afraid. Peter answered and said: Lord, if You art, command me to come to You on the waters. He said: come. And Peter got out of the ship, walking on the waters, to come to Jesus. Seeing the strong wind, he was afraid, and began to drown, crying out, saying: Lord, save me. And Jesus stretched out his hand, and said to him, “Thou of little faith, why didst thou doubt; and when they got into the ship, the wind stopped. He who was in the ships came and worshiped Him, saying: “Truly you are the Son of God” (Matthew 59, ch. 14, 23-33). Every gospel narrative always has two meanings, two meanings: one external, understandable to everyone, and the other internal, deep, mysterious, not understandable to everyone. Likewise, the current Gospel, which was read during the liturgy, in its external content is clear and understandable to everyone, but its internal meaning may not be clear to everyone. We will try to reveal to you its deep inner meaning. The sea on which the disciples sailed during the storm is the sea of ​​life, this world is the life around us with its worries, sorrows, needs and temptations... The disciples are sailing on the sea, a storm is raging around them. So we, sailing on the sea of ​​life, are overwhelmed by waves of sorrows and temptations that come upon a person from the world, the flesh and the devil. And then, during a storm, among the rising waves, Christ appeared before the disciples. He walked on the waters of this stormy sea, but the disciples did not believe that it was Christ, they thought that it was a ghost, that it was just their imagination. So in everyday life, when trials befall a person, waves of temptation rise, a person looks for help everywhere and finds nowhere, everywhere he is deceived in his hopes. It seems to him that he has been abandoned by everyone: both by God and by people, he becomes despondent, almost in despair. And the Lord is near, He comes to us and extends His Divine help to us, He is ready to help us always, every minute, but we don’t believe, we think that there is no hope here either, that this is so-so, a dream, that it is a ghost, that we have nowhere to wait for help. And many, no longer believing in help from above, completely reject this Divine help, stop looking for it in God, looking for it only in the means of this world. For some, when they have not found help for themselves anywhere, because human salvation is vain, the thought comes: maybe we’ll try once again to resort to God, once again turn to the means of Divine help. And like Peter, they say: “Lord, if it is You, if You can help, command me to come to You on the waves.” And Christ says to Peter: “Go.” Despite the storm and waves, Peter walked, and while he looked at Christ, he walked fearlessly and without harm: the waves did not drown him. But when he tore his eyes away from Christ and began to look at the waves of the raging sea, he became afraid, doubted and began to drown. Likewise, when a person follows the direction of the faith of Christ for Divine help, at first he remains cheerful under the influence of Divine illumination and walks firmly, with hope. Sorrows and everyday experiences cannot overcome him, do not have an effect on him, do not shake his heart. But when he takes the eyes of his mind, thoughts and feelings away from Christ, from His Divine help and turns them to the seething waves of the sea of ​​life, to sorrows and temptations, he begins to weaken and cannot help but waver in faith. Let the sea rage, let sorrows rise on all sides, do not pay attention to them, look at Christ, remember that the Lord is near: “As the Lord lives, and as my soul lives” (1 Samuel 20:3). The Lord is always ready to come to our aid. And when a person loses faith and is already drowning, afraid of the waves of sorrows and temptations, not finding help anywhere, he, like Peter, grasping at his last hope, cries out: “Lord, save me, I am perishing,” and in great humility he runs to the Lord, asking for His Divine help. And the Lord says to him: “Why did you doubt, you of little faith? Here I am near you." And the Lord takes the man by the hand and lifts him up, as the psalm says: “Raise up the poor from the earth, and lift up the poor from the hills” (Ps. 112:7). Raises him to heights... We must know that Divine providence for us does not completely remove us from sorrows, does not completely remove them from us, and does not deliver us from temptations, does not deprive us of them, but gives us strength, firmness and courage to endure them and overcome them. Look at the whole host of holy saints of God... The Lord did not take them away from misfortunes, did not deliver them from sorrows, but gave them a firm will, a firm hope, so as not to be shaken even in the midst of fierce trials. And, indeed, nothing could shake them, as St. Apostle: “...neither sorrow, nor famine, nor sword, nor trouble, nor height, nor depth... nothing can separate us from the love of God...” And Christ prayed for His disciples and asked God the Father: “I do not pray that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from hostility” (John 17:15). The Lord allows temptations and at the same time gives strength to endure these temptations. While Peter looked at Christ, he walked on the waters, he was given power, given strength from the Divine Savior - to walk, and he walked. The storm did not stop, the waves did not subside, there was a seething sea under his feet. When sorrows and temptations befall us, we need to have special firmness and courage during their onslaught. You need to know that there has not been, is not and will not be a carefree place and a carefree situation on earth. A sad place can only be in our heart. If the heart is full of Divine love, then it will be carefree, calm and no sorrows will be terrible. When the Divine Savior entered the ship to His disciples, when they united with Christ and saw and felt Him with them, it is said in the Gospel: “the wind ceased” and “there was great silence” (Matthew 8:26). The same situation applies to humans. If we are with Christ and in Christ, then no sorrow will trouble us, and joy will fill our hearts so that we will rejoice both during sorrows and during temptations. If Christ is in a person’s heart, if his heart is full of Divine love, then no earthly, everyday experience will attract our attention. Christ - this One True Imperishable Beauty - will attract the human heart above all other experiences... St. Ambrose, the Bishop of Milan, the great saint of God, once reflecting on the Divine Liturgy (see his prayer to the priests preparing for the service of the Liturgy), which we had just celebrated, exclaimed in delight, calling Christ the Bread of Heaven: “Sweetest Bread, heal the mouth of my heart, so that I feel Your love in me. Sweetest Bread, heal every ailment: but besides You I wish for no beauty. Most Honest Bread, fill my inner soul with all your sweets and fragrances... Holy Bread, Living Bread, Bread of Desire... Enter into my heart and cleanse me from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit... be my soul’s constant guardianship...” So called St. a saint of God, for his heart burned with love for the Lord, he wished that no corruptible beauty of this world would tear his heart away from Christ. I cannot demand from myself and from you such fiery love for the Lord as the saint of God burned with. This is immediately impossible for us. But nevertheless, we can and even must always, and especially in temptations, resort to the Lord Jesus Christ, cry out to Him, seek help from Him, and cleave our hearts to Him. If we resort to the Lord, He will visit us, enter into our hearts, protect us, cover us from all temptations, be a strong pillar for us from the face of the enemy, and lead us without losing our way to the extreme limit of our desires and aspirations, to eternal bliss, to the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen. Word before the prayer service to the Savior in honor of His image not made by hands. At the time when the days of His ascension had ended, He established His face and went to Jerusalem. And the messengers sent before His face, and went out and went into all Samaria, that they might prepare for Him. And not having received Him, as if His face were coming to Jerusalem. And turning to the disciple, he said: “All things were handed over to Me from My Father: and no one knows who the Son is, save the Father; and who the Father is, save the Son; In today’s Gospel you heard the following words: “Jesus set His face to go to Jerusalem...” - He decided and prepared to go to Jerusalem for His feat. In a spiritual sense, this means that every Christian who, like Christ, decides to go to the Heavenly Jerusalem, that is, to lead a spiritual life for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, must “establish his face,” prepare himself for this journey, and decide to undergo an ascetic life. We must prepare and make up our minds, for this journey requires precisely feat, forcing oneself to perform all the virtues by which the Kingdom of Heaven is achieved. We must prepare and make up our minds, because the very practice of virtues is counteracted and resisted by various sorrows, temptations, obstacles and, above all, from people encouraged by the enemy of our salvation. The enemy wants to hinder good intentions and instills in the people of this world hatred of the servants of God. Just as Christ on the way to Jerusalem was not accepted by the inhabitants of that country, for “His face was coming to Jerusalem,” because He had the appearance of a stranger traveling to Jerusalem, so every ascetic, a servant of Christ, is not accepted by the people of this world, for he has the appearance of a man coming to the Jerusalem above. They do not understand him and cannot understand, they do not understand his Christian feat, they are alien to him, he seems unreasonable and strange to them. And the way of thinking, and feelings, and concepts, and desires, and behavior, and the whole life, even the outward appearance of a person living for God, is not the same as that of a person living the life of this world, and therefore the world, hostile to Christ, rebels against those who try to live like Christians, persecutes them, is hostile against them, does not accept them into their midst: “Not having received Him, as His face is not coming to Jerusalem.” And then the Gospel says that “no one knows who the Son is but the Father, and who the Father is except the Son, and it is revealed to Him whether the Son wills.” This means: no one can on his own know God and our Lord Jesus Christ, or have the correct concepts of faith in God, unless God Himself reveals this to him. No one on his own can know the will of God, the way of the Lord, or have correct concepts about spiritual life and Christian morality, unless the Lord Himself teaches this. And He teaches the one who sincerely desires this and asks the Lord for it, who turns out to be capable and worthy of this teaching, who preserves his conscience, who strives for the light, who forces himself to do every good thing. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we need to pray to the Lord as earnestly as possible and ask Him to give us firmness in the Orthodox faith, knowledge of spiritual life, knowledge of His holy will, so that He would reveal to us how we should work out our salvation, accomplish the Christian feat, and, having revealed it, would give us a firm, unwavering determination to complete this feat for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. And so I ask you all earnestly: let us pray now that the Lord will help us to walk the path of Christ, that He will reveal to us how we can work out our salvation, how we should go in order to reach the Heavenly Jerusalem. Amen. Cathedral. Early mass. Friday. A lesson spoken in memory of St. Martyr Nikon, at the moment of congratulations to the spiritual children. On this day I wanted to tell you a word on the Gospel word now read: “And you testify that from time immemorial you have been with Me” (John 15:27), but I did not have time: it was already late, and the late liturgy was soon to begin. But the deep meaning of these Gospel words still occupies my mind, and thoughts come one after another. Now it is impossible to speak at length on this topic, but I will briefly say a few words for your edification. It is said in the Gospel: “And you bear witness that from time immemorial you have been with Me.” Pay attention to these words and understand their meaning. That is why the holy apostles testified about the Lord Jesus, and after them St. martyrs and, in general, saints of God, that they, as Christ himself says, from time immemorial, that is, always, were with the Lord. They always remained inseparably with the Lord, they always diligently kept His holy commandments, they always remembered Him, they always did His holy will in everything. And if we are always with the Lord, then we will have the strength and power to testify about Him, and we will have the courage, firmness and strength to confess Him, and to confess not only with our tongue, but also with our very life. We will also be given the grace to graciously endure all suffering, all hardship and vicissitudes of life for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ... So, try to always be with the Lord, and then you will be able to be confessors of Christ, you will testify about Him as firmly, as fearlessly, as miraculously, as the holy apostles, holy martyrs and all the saints testified. Here's a lesson for you. Always be with the Lord, have the memory of God, be afraid to drive away God’s help from yourself with any sins or sinful thoughts. Be afraid to be without the Lord. God bless you. Amen. A word spoken on the celebration of the Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God. You need to be a good Christian in your life, in your words, and in your prayers. Anyone who listened attentively to the reading of the canon and akathist yesterday could have noticed how many beautiful, sublime feelings and thoughts were embedded there, especially in the canon. First of all, the church writer, the compiler of these church hymns, prays to the Lord God, so that the Lord God will enlighten him and give him the word on how he should sing, how he should pray. From this it is clear that we are not able to pray on our own, without Divine help: we cannot pray properly and we do not know how and what to pray for. It may happen, as the Prophet said in one psalm: “And let his prayer become sin” (Ps. 108:7). Consequently, not every prayer is holy; there is also sinful prayer. When does prayer occur in sin? Then, when the subject of prayer is sinful, when the feelings and desires with which a person approaches prayer are sinful. Realizing his unworthiness, which can be reflected in the prayers he composes, the writer of the aforementioned church songs asks the Lord God, so that the Lord God and the Mother of God would not be disgusted by the prayers we compose and offer, and would accept our zeal, since the desires with which the prayer is offered are sincere and holy, the subject of the prayer is holy. “With humble lips I brought this simple song to You, O All-Singing One, because you are rude, sinful, and unworthy to praise You, but earnestly hoping for Your generosity, for You have given birth to the Savior of this world: do not disdain, O Queen, accept this and save me” (Last Troparion of the 9th song of the canon). But then, as if in addition to this, we hear: “... for purity, abstinence and prayers of the heart are more pleasing to You than the praise of a single mouth” (9th ikos of the akathist to the icon of the Sorrowful Mother of God). It is good if you praise the Mother of God, but this is not enough; it is more pleasing to the Mother of God to practice the virtues themselves, and not to praise only the lips. If you speak and pray about virtues, it is necessary that it not only remain on your lips, but that words and prayers about virtues turn into deeds, into life itself. Otherwise, you can talk a lot, but to no avail. Elder Fr. Ambrose once told a man who asked him for many words of edification that “there are very few necessary words,” for the Kingdom of God is not in words, but in power. Sometimes, with one word, the soul comes into spiritual admiration and is filled with the most holy feelings, desires and intentions. Therefore, we ask that not only words remain with us, but that if we sing and talk about virtues, then we must perform these virtues, otherwise the words will not be for edification, but will be a burden to those listening and to ourselves. For, indeed, how can an intemperate person teach abstinence? He doesn't have the courage to do it. Or how can a glutton talk about fasting? He does not have boldness, his word will be empty, powerless. So in general, all of us, if we want to be true Christians, then we must be them not only in language, but in deed, that is, in our lives. Then other people will not be tempted by us, they will not blaspheme Christ’s teaching and the life of Christians because our life is bad, unworthy of the Christian name. And even the Mohammedan Turks, and all sorts of infidels, and sectarians, and simply non-believers, seeing our dissimilar life, say that they are better, more moral in life than people who boast that they are Orthodox Christians, that they know the True God and serve Him. It’s unfortunate to hear this, but you have to hear it more than once. Therefore, so that the name of God is not blasphemed for our sins, let us be jealous of virtues in deeds, and not just in words, we will try to correct our lives, we will bring true repentance. Now we will serve a prayer service. Let us pray to the Mother of God, the Queen of Heaven, that She may bring Her prayer to the Lord for our intercession, protection, and admonition. And we will always pray to the Queen of Heaven, as our child-loving Mother, who adopted us at the cross of Her Son. She loves us, She loves us very much, as children of the Orthodox Church, created by Her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. She cares and prays for every Christian. So that we do not turn out to be unworthy of Her mercy and not reject Her Divine help from ourselves, let us try not to do anything that drives away the grace of God from us. May the Lord Himself help us in this. Amen. You might be interested in: