Письмо 55

What an eloquent panegyric you wrote about my thinness and my imaginary virtues, of which I feel extremely depleted! And besides, she gave me a firm commandment - not to reproach myself before you. You are happy that I do not have the gift of speech, otherwise I would have written you a whole sheet; you will obviously and involuntarily give in to your supposedly clever wisdom; and I should remain with myself and know: who I am, and see my sins, as numerous as the incomprehensible sand of the sea; from their fruits one will know who I am; what is my fruit? - I know this better. You set an example that yours also remember their own, just as you remembered your father; what kind of example are they? We never have that; Why did Father read Fr. F..., but he never hired a mass, but commemorated it at a general mass; They served the requiem, having gathered all the brethren, unanimously, and, after serving, they gave them tea to drink, and that was all. And you, simply put, have a woman’s mind; Well, why is this - each one serves a memorial service separately? Give her the money there, and ask her to serve it slowly, with the entire canon read out loud, and it will be much more profitable than ten hastily served memorial services. And when you don’t want to change your supposedly pious custom, then do as you want. The weakness of A... can cease with its revelation, and when he guards his heart with the fear of God from the passionate thoughts entering into it, so that he will not tempt and condemn anyone, but rather be humble. Oh D.... one cannot be surprised that he is bored: she walked with jealousy; but this jealousy needs a test; if nothing had met her, she would have ascended to heaven, but now she will involuntarily humble herself; and even more so, as soon as you get through it better, then you will recognize the shrine. I remain the sinful I.M. November 28, 1850. You might be interested in: