Письмо 53

I sincerely regret the unexpected death of M. L...; we are obliged to pray to the Lord for the repose of her soul, and place our trust in His generosity and mercy; but judging is not our business; Commit to standing and being watched, lest you fall (1 Cor. 10:12). You write about L... that while she was fasting, she was preparing in your cell and that her fear did not go away; She doesn’t understand what her pride is? This is such a passion that the proud do not see themselves as possessed by this vice, just as that old man from whom it was ordered to tear his soul out did not rest God within himself for even a single hour: Peter of Damascus has this in his 24th word; and her pride is proven by the fruits of fear, etc., as in the 79th word of St. Isaac the Syrian says, and St. Climacus: “The proud will be overcome by terrible events.” But God is able to grant her knowledge of her illness and then healing. Only woe to me, poor thing, - I talk about people, but I myself fall into all the evil ones, and I am not a stranger to pride; I accept satisfaction from blind people like you for my condemnation: and if your eyes were opened and you saw at least some of my evil deeds, you would not even want to look at such a monster, and I would have to keep silent and listen to myself; but I don’t know whether my custom is crafty or vain, under the guise of supposedly benefiting my neighbors, which does not allow me to remain silent; I leave concern for my soul, I reach out to others, and all I know is that I write, although this is not very easy for me. I don't know what will happen. You describe the family of your co-worker, about whom you have care in spiritual care, what difficulties they encountered from those who oppose them; what to do? Ask them in conscience, they will find themselves right and will rightly accuse you; What can I say to this? Including yourself, you and them, you can say: for their malice blinds them (Wisdom 2:21): we are all alert to the infirmities of others, but we ourselves are like saints; I see this clearly in many people and in myself: things are seen in a distorted magnification in our neighbors, and we regard our own and big things as insignificant. How can you convince us? If we were, however little, partakers of humility and love, we would burn with pity and self-awareness of our weaknesses; not having this, our necks are involuntarily erased by reproof, to our humility. Let us strive not to hate them, but to gratefully bear reproaches; and meanwhile strive with them and with yourself, so that you are not condemned for idleness. Be all peaceful and in agreement with each other, spend your fast reverently, and may the Lord grant you the honor of celebrating Easter with heartfelt joy. I. M. April 1, 1850. You might be interested in: