Письмо 251
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We found out that you were at A...I's; although it is a regrettable meeting, it cannot be assumed that you were completely rejected; but you are killing yourself in vain, and you are torturing yourself more with your cowardice. Where is our faith? It is known in temptations, and do not think that they are allowed to you beyond your measure and strength; no, you are doing it wrong! God is just, but also merciful; and more merciful than just. If He acted according to justice, how much punishment would we deserve? But He spares us and punishes us with mercy in order to make future punishment easier for us and completely free us from it. – You are still in double-mindedness and grieving. Well, he won’t accept it! - But you don’t trust what the will of God will be; God creates and arranges benefits for us even with nasty things; you think you can find peace here, but God knows more than us whether you can find it here or not. Rely on His holy will: if they do not accept it, accept it graciously and calm down; He is able to calm you down and in another place, peace is in humility; the fathers write: if a monk humbles himself, he will find peace in every place.
Your unworthy pilgrims, the great sinner I. L. and the great sinner I. M. August 22, 1841.
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