Письмо 201

Being in a remote place, and having been separated by a great distance from my native land, I receive with pleasure the news about it, and about you who live there, and who once shared their sorrows with my badness, and who strengthen each other along the path of our self-sacrifice. In your last letter, dear mothers and sisters, I see that even now there is still a spark of your zeal for someone who is unworthy of it; Otherwise, God wouldn’t have arranged it this way, sending me away to distant places. God's providence is marvelous over us sinners! Look at the present state of our desert; so that I should now be in my cowardice? Wouldn’t I be burdened with deep sorrow when I had to assist K—either openly or indirectly? Maybe he could get caught up in the most difficult and intricately woven networks. But the all-seeing Eye, foreknowledge of everything, and knowing my weakness, with His right hand turned me away and removed me from these events, although I am not found here without sorrow. But this (i.e. the sorrowless) cannot be found on earth while passions dominate us; and I recognize myself as their slave and regret it, but I remain the same; This is why sorrows are useful. May the holy will of the Lord be with us! For your zeal for the Mother of God and your visit to our monastery, you will not remain without a reward, although you clearly will not feel it; but in secret the cover of the Mother of God will protect you from the arrows of the enemy. For me, the incident that befell the builder’s father is very strange: God grant him recovery; but the judgment on the actions of a famous person does not belong to us! It's a pity O... K..., I don't know how God helps him. I wrote an answer to him dated November 9, and sent it in a letter to N.N., thinking that you received it on the 19th or 21st; I hope it was delivered to him. It’s surprising to me that after your first letter, three weeks passed until this last one; and you don’t mention anything about whether it’s easier for Father S-lyu. Didn’t you have any rumors at that time? It is also strange that you did not have a decree on a confessor for a long time, about whom I later explained to you that Father F. was appointed to you. Similar to your desire, haven’t you had him for a shitty week? I wrote to my brothers on October 30 addressed to N. N.; now I think they have already received it. Do not doubt about your letter; Although it is without a number, I think it’s the same; I received it from N.N. on November 18, and I received another written here on October 21 on November 8, and answered the same day. In our monastery, what further consequences will be is unknown, but the real ones are not bad; and no matter what those who oppose them say, they will not cause harm; but we, according to the commandment of the Lord, will try to force ourselves to love our enemies, even if we cannot fulfill this for our weakness and possessing passions, then having recognized our weakness, we will humble ourselves and leave our neighbors their debts, since we ourselves demand this from God; If you forgive your neighbors, you will also be forgiven (Matthew 6:14). Just as we are overcome in correcting the commandment, so are they: but we know, and they may not yet know; for the enemy presents things in another form. It is necessary to bear sorrows, but God is strong to alleviate them and give His help in patience. Read fatherly books that can strengthen and enlighten you. You offered me, Mother N., the acquaintance of princes N., I thank you for this; but I’ll just tell you that I must avoid making acquaintances here as much as possible: your B... is not in favor of this, and I don’t have any free time. It’s a pity, Mother K., that your illness often burdens you; but it is clear that it is necessary to avoid local illnesses and future sorrows; and this is the mercy of God. I ask you not to abandon poor R., and encourage her to open up, although we ourselves are nothing and even worse than nonentity. Is there any relief for her - let me know; Is it possible, with the new formation of your monastery, to give you and your sister some corner? - it will be the same: strange beh and knowledge of Men (Matthew 25:35); Also, if possible, do not deprive others who demand it, as long as it does not harm them. On December 7, I received a note from Mother P., written in the oblivion of the two of you; I’m sure that you wouldn’t be too lazy to write something. You, Mother P., write that you were confused for the first week, and after that you calmed down, glory to the Master, who looks upon His servants! When you humbled yourself, God consoled you; do this always, and the peace of God will be with you. Say my respects to Mother O. and to everyone who remembers me, no matter how unworthy; and if someone has forgotten, I stand by him, and I also thank and wish that the memory of the bad person will be erased from their thoughts. You don’t write anything about S., is she there or at home? I wrote to her, tell her my respects, express it and N.N. - Stopping these meager lines of mine, with the desire for all of you peace, health and salvation, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner I.M. - I bow to T. and N., may God help them to pass the funeral feast of obedience with the fear of God, also to N. and N. November 30, 1831. You might be interested in: