Письмо 177

You soon want to achieve an exalted spiritual life, incited to this by pride and vanity. You are full of passions - pride and vanity, and you want to ascend to the heavenly palace, dressed in the robe of nasty passions and are not afraid that you will be thrown out. The Holy Fathers reached the heights of spiritual life through humility and self-reproach, not in any way thinking that they were achieving a high life, but considering themselves worse than everyone and under all creation. Where is your feeling here - to decide on the height of spiritual life? Fulfill the commandment of God - love not only your neighbors, but even your enemies, and accept reproaches from everyone, as if you deserve it; and then you’ve barely done anything, and you’re already dreaming about yourself, but God’s commandment commands: when you have done all that is commanded to you, say, “We are unbreakable servants,” and so on. (Luke 17:10) Read from St. Isaac the Syrian's word 55, you will see how he humbled his brother and showed him the height of life, that it consists of repentance and humility. The frequent entry of sisters into your cell will not bring you any benefit, but only chilling from judgments and idle talk. Try to deny your will as long as you have someone to cut off from; otherwise your own will does a lot of harm. I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, great sinner I.M. On January 28, I also received your letter, with which you express your grief about your appointment.... Here is your achievement of a high life! Where is she? - It is acquired by completely leaving the world, and you grieve that you were offended; so humble yourself and consider yourself that you are still unworthy of this measure. January 29, 1858. You might be interested in: