Письмо 130

Is it possible to be without war while in the spiritual army? The battle is invisible and everlasting! In addition, the enemies are evil, strong, cunning and treacherous; and they are strengthened even more by our laziness and negligence, and most of all by pride, through which they have a bold and daring attack. You write that you are overcome by ardor and other inclinations, through which you later become faint-hearted, but afterward, through repentance, awareness of your weakness and contrition, you take revenge on the enemy who encouraged you to incriminate yourself. Just as it is impossible to suddenly or quickly become a general from a recruit, and without having been a skilled warrior in many battles, so, and even more so, before you have had time to enter the field of spiritual warfare, you already think that you have learned it; or wish to soon be free from passions and fly high, rising day by day. Do not think about yourself that you have already learned spiritual warfare; no, it is diverse and don’t expect to conquer passions quickly: it requires a lot of time, effort, labor, humility and God’s help. But even though we have had deeds and labors, we will not accomplish anything without humility and God’s help. Humility does not consist in words alone, but is a pledge of feeling kept in the heart; That person, with virtues, sees himself as the worst of all; With such a feeling, will he become inflamed against anyone? And since this is not in us, we are allowed to carefully overcome our weaknesses, so that we recognize our weakness and humble ourselves before God and before people. But this is not a matter of one day or a year, but requires a lot of time. However, do not be sad about this because you do not see the shrine in yourself; it would be a sure sign of pride and delusion when you were consoled by your imaginary holiness. Remember that a sinner with repentance is better before God than a righteous man with pride, and that humility, apart from deeds, forgives many sins; and deeds without humility are useless. So, I repeat again: do not be faint-hearted from the frequency of battles and victories; for cowardice is also a sign of pride. Read St. the teachings of the fathers, and over time you will become accustomed to what you should do and avoid delusion, and immensity or impoverishment in everything, but may the Lord vouchsafe you to walk the royal path. Committing you to the protection of God, I remain your pilgrim, the sinful hieromonk Macarius. August 22, 1839. You might be interested in: