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Thanks be to the Lord, who granted your mother and you the opportunity to visit the monastery of St. Sergius and venerate his holy relics. May his prayers help you in your salvation. Your entire journey was completed safely and without embarrassment; and upon arrival they were greeted with grief due to S. T.’s dislike, and they talk about this with reproach. And you grieve for her and do not have peace and show that you do not have the fruits of monasticism. Let them think and speak as they please; this serves as a test for us - to see our dispensation and try to improve; After all, it is God who allows us to correct ourselves and, seeing our weaknesses, to humble ourselves. Sometimes you say unnecessary things in a cell with someone and it is taken out, and even with the addition: then you need to use the lesson - not to get involved in matters that do not concern you; It’s enough for you to worry about your salvation, but you won’t give an answer about other imperfections and weaknesses. Things go on as they go; you cannot make them the best; The answer is not for us. So, having reproached yourself for not being reproachful, reproach yourself for sometimes saying something about someone; but do not blame others, for God allowed them to do so. When you put yourself in this position, you will calm down. After all, we are far from God’s commandment: “love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44), and this very thing should humble us. God looks upon humility. You, E. I-na, in your troubles, find a cure for yourself in self-reproach and humility, and endure this very burden without complaining, and then you will receive the fruit of consolation; and those who are indignant at us, they teach us to be philosophical, testing ourselves: are we really Christians? Do we love our enemies? - and the knowledge of our weakness in this. During the struggle, G. A-na was weak and defeated, but when the storm passed, of course, she herself recognized her own disorder and weakness. Having suffered it, thank God, you both calmed down. To step on the asp and the basilisk, and to trample the lion and the serpent, the power is given to believers, that is, to the devil and his power, and the power is given to everyone to overcome passions and sins, but also to believers; and faith has many degrees. Those who have achieved perfection also resurrect the dead, and so on. But we, recognizing our weakness, must, in any case, seek God’s help, and not rely on ourselves, as if we can do anything. May the Lord give us true reason, accomplished through humility. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. August 17, 1856. You might be interested in: