Life of Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius

Contents Preface Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI One of the great Optina elders, Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius (1845–1913), served as elder in the Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage Skete in 1907–1912, when other elders also labored in the monastery and its Skete, although they served as elders at different times, some at the same time as Fr. Barsanuphius, as Fr. Anatoly (Potapov) or Fr. Joseph, others later, like Fr. O. Nectarius and Theodosius. It was during these years that Father Barsanuphius’s closest student was one of the last elders of Optina, Fr. Nikon, whose detailed diary brought to us many of the deeds and words of his teacher. The time before the First World War and the revolutionary upheaval was difficult, the world was seething with unprecedented passions, and the onset of darkness was felt more and more clearly. Father Barsanuphius had to travel through almost the most difficult time for Russia: he was a priest at a field hospital during the Russo-Japanese War. I saw a lot of suffering, consoled many, and was in mortal danger more than once. He listened to the world with a sensitive soul, and the Lord lifted the curtain before him, showing the horrors of the future. “Everyone is going against Russia, or rather, against the Church of Christ,” he said, “for the Russian people are God-bearers, the faith of Christ is preserved in them.” People from the world, those who longed for consolation in their sorrows, streamed to Optina, to Skete. Elder Barsanuphius, who was in poor health, but strengthened by the power of the Lord, received them, talked with them, confessed, and directed them to the only right path. Like all elders, he carried on extensive correspondence. “We live in difficult times,” he said. “We are weak and feeble, but we have to encourage others.” So I am in the same state, weak and infirm, I myself require help and consolation, but due to the duty of my rank I have to console those who turn to me. People come to Optina from a world that no longer groans as before, but roars, they come seeking consolation and reassurance... By their faith they receive what they seek and leave peaceful.” And what letters he received, what cries were in them: “Father! I'm suffocating! Sorrows are pressing in on all sides, we can’t breathe...”; “I’m falling into despondency, something dark is surrounding me...” After the death of the holy righteous John of Kronstadt († December 20, 1908), as well as the elder Barnabas of Gethsemane, who departed to the Lord back in 1906 (March 2), there were much more pilgrims in Optina than in previous years. Due to his weakness, Elder Joseph did not receive almost anyone except his spiritual children, so people crowded around the house of the monastery leader, Fr. Barsanuphia. No one left without an answer to what they came with. “Believe that I am telling you what is needed for your benefit,” said Fr. Barsanuphius. “So they come to me with faith, and I myself am surprised where everything comes from.” He sought from everyone complete repentance for their sins, while he himself reminded people of their forgotten sins, indescribably surprising them with such insight. He knew how to be persistent and domineering, but he had a real love for people, so everyone felt not only his sincere care, but also his heartfelt tenderness. Only God knows how many Fr. Barsanuphius corrected destinies, how many good seeds he sowed into souls. Intelligent people, who were entangled in the complexities of the spiritless culture of the “Silver Age,” especially sought him out, and, with God’s help, he helped many to get out. According to the testimony of his contemporaries, Elder Barsanuphius possessed the same gifts that the Lord endowed his predecessors with: insight, miracles, the ability to cast out unclean spirits, and heal diseases. He was granted truly prophetic visions of paradise. Demons and even the Antichrist appeared to him. Father Barsanuphius was seen at prayer illuminated by an unearthly light. After his death, he appeared to the Optina monks several times. We will not, however, introduce here, in this preface, what the reader has to read in the biography itself. It was compiled in accordance with the method that is set out in the preface of the Optina pupil Archimandrite Juvenaly (later Archbishop of Lithuania and Vilna) to the “Biography of the rector of the Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage Archimandrite Moses” written by him (published in 1882). “I believe,” he wrote, “that the task of the life writer of a virtuous husband is not only to outline the beautiful figure of his moral greatness, often unattainable for mere mortals, but to depict, for the spiritual benefit of the readers, his faithfulness in small things, 1 expressed in various cases of life, and how he, with the help of God, through this feat in small things, gradually achieved the spiritually great - that victory over passions of soul and body, that purification of the heart, which constitute the goal of the inner life and activity of a Christian. With this in mind, I tried to indulge as little as possible in my personal reasoning, but to compare only facts, to cite, if possible, the most oral or written words of Father Archimandrite himself, so that the reader could see as clearly as possible the elder ascetic and faithful servant of Christ.” These words also coincided with my ideas about the biographical book, and in addition, the available material for the biography of Elder Barsanuphius leads precisely to such decisions. Almost no documents or evidence have been preserved about the life of the Elder before he joined the brethren of Optina Pustyn, and this is more than forty-five years - much here remains unknown. But the Elder himself often talked about himself in conversations with his spiritual children - their records brought to us a number of episodes from his childhood, gymnasium years, stay in military educational institutions, and headquarters service in Kazan. The time of his eldership in the Skete found its zealous chronicler in the person of his faithful student and future elder, Fr. Nikon. Father Barsanuphius himself always kept diaries, Fr. speaks about them. Nikon, to whom the Elder sometimes gave them to read, but they have not survived, in any case, nothing has been heard about them. Of the huge number of letters to spiritual children, there is also almost nothing. His sermons have not reached us either. The gaps would seem catastrophic, considering that very few memoirs about the Elder have been written. And yet there is wonderful material. These are, first of all, the “Conversations” of the Elder with his spiritual children, recorded by them, and the “Diary” of Fr. Nikon, who during his leadership was first a novice, and then a ryassophore monk Nikolai Belyaev. There is a surviving part of the “Cell Notes” of Fr. Barsanuphius (late 1890s), there are pages of the “Chronicle of the Skete”, partly written by the Elder himself when he was a monk of the Rassophore, there are his “Spiritual Poems”, collected from magazines where Fr. Barsanuphius was published (the Elder published his poems under the pseudonym “The Wanderer”) - this book was published in 1914 by the sisters of the Shamordino Ambrosian Hermitage. So the main voice in the biography of Elder Barsanuphius will be his own voice, and nothing better can be desired. ... Help, Lord! Let me not lie to the Elder. Pavel Ivanovich Plikhankov (this was the name of the Elder in the world) was born in Samara on July 5, 1845. It was the day of remembrance of the Venerable Athanasius of Athos and Sergius of Radonezh, the great and holy monks. He always considered St. Sergius his patron. The boy's mother, whose name was Natalia, died during childbirth, and he himself remained alive thanks to the sacrament of Baptism, which was immediately performed on him by the priest. His father came from the Orenburg Cossacks, who, however, had not been Cossacks for a long time, but were engaged in trade. The Elder's grandfather and great-grandfather were very rich. Almost all the houses along Kazanskaya Street, stretching from the Samara River to the Volzhskaya Embankment, belonged to the Plikhankovs. On the same street there was a city cathedral in the name of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, called “Old”, of which they were zealous parishioners, since everyone in the Plikhankov family were believers. They helped the church a lot from their income and believed that their family was under the special protection of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God. The mother died, but the boy was not an orphan. The father married a second time, and in the person of the stepmother (it seems not a very affectionate word for the Russian ear), the Lord sent the baby a deeply religious, kind-hearted mentor - “so that my mother completely replaced me and even, perhaps, my own mother could not have given me such an upbringing,” the Elder recalled. Her name, like Pavlushi’s late mother, was Natalia. And from an early age Pavlusha is a true Orthodox person. He goes with his mother (that’s what he called his stepmother) to church, partakes of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, reads the house rules with her, and often canons and akathists. At the age of five he began to serve at the altar and often heard people predicting: “You will be a priest!” Father Barsanuphius always fondly recalled his childhood. “It’s early morning, I woke up, but I don’t want to get up,” he said, “the maid gives my mother a wash, and I wrap myself in a blanket. Now the mother is ready. “Oh, Pavel is still sleeping,” she says, “give me some cold water,” she turns to the maid. I instantly lean out from under the blanket. “Mommy, I’m already awake,” I say. They dress me, and my mother and I go to church. It’s still completely dark, and at times I fall into drifts of snow and rush after my mother. She also loved to pray at home. Sometimes an akathist reads, and I sing in a thin voice throughout the apartment: “Most Holy Theotokos, save us!” In the summer, the Plikhankovs lived “in the village”; this, apparently, was the estate near Orenburg (or in this city itself) that Fr. Barsanuphius: “For six years I was in the garden with my father, digging through the sand in the alley. Suddenly a wanderer walks along the alley. And it’s amazing how he could get into the garden when it is surrounded by large dogs that don’t let anyone through without barking. The wanderer quietly approached his father and, pointing at me with his hand, said: “Remember, father, this child will one day drag souls from hell!” And after these words he left. Then we couldn't find him anywhere. And God knows who this stranger was.” Elder Barsanuphius had a peaceful, golden childhood. When he stood in the church, it seemed to him that the Mother of God from the icon was smiling at him and beckoning him to Her. - Dad, dad, She's alive! - he said. Already in Optina Pustyn, Father recalled his childhood in Samara: The ancient Kremlin is high, And before the face is the light of a lamp... I remember the deserted ringing of the church, And the old chanting of prayers... “Father usually read aloud the life of some saint on holidays before lunch,” the Elder recalled. “I remember I was not even seven years old, but I listened to my father with enthusiasm. I used to run my little hands through my brown curls and I was afraid to utter a word from what my father was reading. “Dad,” I tell him, “I want to be a saint. But it’s painful to go into a furnace or a cauldron with tin!” - “You can become a saint in another way.” - "How?" “I have no time to talk to you,” the father answers and continues reading. I remember how my soul lit up from this reading. I was still little then, and my soul was pure. Reading was of great importance for my later life.” I remembered Fr. Barsanuphius that he then “really liked the life of the Monk Malchus,” whose memory is on March 26. His father told him after reading this life that the Lord saves those who love God from visible and invisible enemies. Later, when Fr. came. Barsanuphius in Optina Pustyn, he was tonsured into the ryassophore precisely on March 26th. The Monk Malchus, a Syrian, being a monk, left the monastery in order to do a good deed - to sell the estate after the death of his parents and distribute the money to the poor. The abbot tried to persuade him not to do this, not to go into the world, warning that this was the machinations of the devil and that if he went, it would not end well. Malchus nevertheless left and on the way was captured by Saracen robbers, where he spent many years working for a cruel master and repenting of his disobedience to the abbot. And for his suffering and faithfulness to Him, the Lord miraculously delivered him from captivity and returned him to his former monastery. In the imagination of the youth Paul, amazing pictures were drawn - a sultry yellow desert, along which exhausted fugitives were wandering - Malchus and a slave woman who asked to take her to some monastery (she fled with him). And behind them, gradually approaching, the Saracen and his servant are riding on camels - they already see the fugitives and with evil joy they are preparing a cruel execution for them... So the fugitives took refuge in a cave, the servant entered there with a sword in his hand, it would seem that there was no salvation for the poor slaves... But suddenly a huge lioness jumps out of the darkness of the cave, and the robber is instantly torn to pieces. His master, thinking that there is a struggle in the cave and needs to help his servant, runs in, but he, too, dies from the fangs of the beast. The lioness did not touch the fugitives. They boarded camels, in whose trunks there were supplies of food and water, and, saved, they rode on... And here they were near Antioch. Malchus returned to his monastery, having first taken the woman to the women's monastery. The Lord saved them. “No,” the boy probably thought while listening to this story, “if I am a monk, I will never disobey the abbot and will not leave the monastery for worldly affairs!” His father taught Pavlusha to pray for his parents. Elder Barsanuphius recalls that they had a picture in their house, which he describes as follows: “Peter the Great is standing, and in front of him on his knees is a young man, next to whom stands his father, sentenced to exile to Siberia for some crimes. This young man asks Peter I to free his father, because he is old and will not be able to endure hard work; besides, the family needs him. “It’s better to send me to Siberia instead of my father, for I am young, strong and free,” says the young man. Peter the Great shed tears and said: “I release this father because he has such a son!” That’s how my father told me about this picture and taught me to pray for him.” Next he talks about. Barsanuphius that his father generally taught him to pray: “It used to be that he would take me, put me with him and order me to read “Theotokos”, “To the Heavenly King” and something else. He taught me to read Psalm 90, and then I learned it by heart in one day.” At the age of nine, Pavlusha was enrolled in a gymnasium... Here, however, some ambiguities begin. Biographical sources provide somewhat contradictory information. Thus, the brochure “In Memory of the Optina Elder Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius” (M., 1913) says: “... After completing his education in the Polotsk Cadet Corps, he entered military service and rose to the rank of colonel of the Orenburg Cossack Army.” Archpriest Vasily Shustin, author of memoirs about St. John of Kronstadt and about the Optina elders (see Moscow edition of 1991), writes about Fr. Varsonofia: “He came from the Orenburg Cossacks, graduated from the Polotsk Cadet Corps and graduated from the Orenburg Military School with the rank of officer. In St. Petersburg he graduated from Cossack officer staff courses...” This information about. Vasily Shustina is cited by I.M. Kontsevich in his major book “Optina Pustyn and Its Time” (Jordanville, Holy Trinity Monastery, 1970). But Fr. Barsanuphius nowhere talks about the Polotsk Cadet Corps - he talks about the gymnasium. It is unclear how and why he came to Belaya Rus', to the ancient city on the Western Dvina, so far from Samara and Orenburg. Novice Nikolai Belyaev, who, with the blessing of Elder Barsanuphius, wrote down almost all of his stories and instructions, on April 20, 1910, wrote down his words in his “Diary”: “When I studied at the gymnasium in Polotsk, in the summer we were moved for vacation to a picturesque state-owned estate, which was formerly the estate of a Catholic bishop. There was a beautiful birch alley; of the entire alley, two birch trees stood out in particular for their beauty and height. I loved to retire to this alley and every year I carved my letter “P” on the birch tree. So, one day I began to cut out my letter “P”, and my thought told me: “Cut it bigger and deeper.” I listened to this thought and cut quite deeply. And that was the last time, because the next year we were not allowed into this estate, and then I finished and left there. The pupils usually got up at 6 o’clock, and I got up at 5 o’clock, went into that alley and, standing among those birches, prayed. And then I prayed as I had never prayed again: it was the pure prayer of an innocent youth. I think that’s where I begged and begged God for monasticism. In general, I have bright and pure memories of the gymnasium.” So - high school. The future elder studied well, and his spiritual life was very high. In 1860, when he was fifteen years old, he, having passed six-month “rehearsals” at the Polotsk gymnasium, came home to Orenburg on Christmas Day - until January 7, he was free. “I passed everything well,” said the Elder, “and when I arrived home, I thought about what I would read, generally made various plans in my head... I sat down at the table. There was a paper in front of me. I take a pen and write: “Renaissance.” What's happened? What revival? And I begin to write further: “Long ago, in the days of past youth...” Isn’t this a miracle? I was only fifteen years old, and I wrote my whole life ahead." Long ago, in the days of youth gone by, A holy fire burned within me. Was serene and living The Spirit invisibly kept in her From emptiness, melancholy, languor, But I got carried away with the noisy life; Your innocence, beauty, I couldn't save it, I'm crazy! And a whirlwind of passions But again I cried out to God With tears of bitter regrets, And He leaned towards my groans, And again called to a wonderful life, Since childhood, Pavel loved to read, and especially during his high school years. His curiosity was extraordinary; already in his youth he knew world literature very well and had great love for Russian literature. Later, as an old man, he often spoke about the great benefits of book knowledge, primarily the lives of saints. In conversations with spiritual children, he often took various examples from Russian and world literary classics, quoted poems, told various incidents from the lives of writers, artists, musicians... Once he cited an incident from his life at the gymnasium, the incident was not with him, but with his friend, who studied poorly and was far behind in mathematics. “One day I saw that he ran his little hands through his hair and became completely engrossed in reading. With the curiosity characteristic of boys, I began to look at what he was reading... Finally I asked: “What are you reading?” - “What do you want?” - “Yes, interesting! This is a rare phenomenon” (and he had never read anything). - “Go away!” Well, I had to leave. Then I saw he finished reading, put the book aside, and began to think. I approached: “What did you read, tell me now!” He showed me the title sheet. I see biographies of famous scientists and artists. "Interesting?" - I ask. "Very! And guess what? I will be a famous scientist!” “Well, brother, I wanted a lot. You better study your algebra lessons more carefully, otherwise you’re getting all 2s and 1s.” - “No, it’s over! I will be a scientist! So what? He began to study well, finished well, and then, as I heard, he was, if not great, then one of our significant scientists. This is the effect that a book read can have: read it and change.” After graduating from high school, not everything went smoothly for Pavel Ivanovich. We know nothing about the sixties, about the time when the young man began to choose his own path. One entry from the 1890s speaks silently about those years, but on a very tragic note: “Sunday May 8th. Holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian and St. Arseny the Great... On this day of May in 1865, I arrived from St. Petersburg to Moscow. It’s scary and painful to remember this terrible time in my life. Truly, the mercy of the Lord is inexpressible, for he snatched me from the jaws of hell...” How the Lord kept him can be seen from the following episode told by Fr. Barsanuphius in 1911 in one of his conversations. “I remember,” said the Elder, “it was 40, or even 50 years ago, I was in the same house. There were many guests there. Some, as is usual in the world, played cards, others talked, then dancing began - it was not a real ball, but it happened so unexpectedly. At this evening there was one girl of amazing beauty. She took no part in anything that happened around her. Several gentlemen approached to ask her to dance, but she refused. Then she got up, went to the piano and began to play. It was felt that she had completely withdrawn from her surroundings, gone into herself, into her inner world and, perhaps, into these sounds. It was a wonderful moonlit night. The girl played for a long time, and when she had played enough, she got up, went to the window and thought. She interested me, and I tried to get to know her. I go up to one lady and ask: “Do you know such and such?” - "I know". - “Introduce me to her.” - "Fine; I can introduce you, but is it worth it? I assure you that it is completely uninteresting and you will not find anything in it.” - “Well, let me judge that for myself.” And I met this girl. She was I don’t remember how old, but less than twenty years old. She turned out to be a very deep person who lived her own inner life: she loved, and loved as such people know how to love. “This is my first and, I assure you, my last love,” she said, and she didn’t lie. – You see, he is everything I live by, the light of my life; everything around me and in me is filled with it; without it, everything is darkness, everything is dark, and life loses all meaning. I gave him all of myself, my soul, my heart. - Yes, I love you and I will never love anyone else. After all, I also gave him my soul, my love - he has it all, he took it all with him to the grave, but I have nothing left. My acquaintance with this girl did not last long: she soon left for Samara, but all the time I knew her, she mourned her dead first love.” Pavel Ivanovich understood the meaning of this event, this meeting, later. “If I met this girl now,” he says in a conversation with his spiritual children, “I would know what to tell her. I would tell her: “Were you loved? From such love there was only melancholy, only emptiness? And you say that you won't love another? And I advise you to love someone else, you know who? Lord Jesus Christ! You wanted to give your heart to a person - give it to Christ, and He will fill it with light and joy instead of the darkness and melancholy that remained for you after loving a person.” Do not let your heart become attached to the corruptible blessings of this world, drive away all attachments from it, since only in a free heart can the Lord create an abode for Himself.” In the 1870s, Pavel Ivanovich studied at the Orenburg Military School 3, then completed officer staff courses in St. Petersburg. There is a mention that he fought in Turkestan (a fact that is not very reliable). The Elder never remembered the school, the courses, or the war in Turkestan (except for the fact that at the school, future cavalry officers were taken to the forge to show how horseshoes were forged). His life went in the 1870s–1880s in Orenburg, then in Kazan, then in St. Petersburg and again in Kazan, where after courses he was appointed as a staff officer of the Kazan Military District - he soon became the head of the mobilization department; gradually rising in rank, by the end of the 1880s he was already a colonel. In Orenburg he lived with his mother and aunt (his father had died by that time, the year of his death remains unknown). He had not yet thought about entering the monastery; on the contrary, “terrible boredom, there is only radish, vegetable oil and bows,” as he imagined. But he had already been called - often imperceptibly, but sometimes very clearly the Lord led him to the monastery. Hence the numerous “oddities” of officer Pavel Ivanovich Plikhankov. He was a young military man, his colleagues wasted their lives in entertainment, but he came to more and more asceticism in his life. His room resembled a monk’s cell in its simplicity of decoration, order, and many icons and books. Years passed. His comrades got married one after another. “Get married, Pavlusha,” his mother once told him. - There will be a ball at the officers' meeting, go up to the girls and talk. In fact, he came up, listened to the conversations of these girls, and was horrified: trips... outfits... hats... “What am I going to talk about with my wife? - he thought. “No, I’ll leave it at that.” He was then twenty-five years old. Another five or six years passed - at his mother’s request, he again “approached” women and, as he recalled, “made the same impression” and “decided in his heart not to get married.” His last test of this kind was in 1880. “Why are you, Pavlusha, you keep avoiding women, soon you will be old enough, no one will marry you,” said the mother. - Be careful not to repent later. He obeyed. Soon, while going to a dinner party, I decided: whoever I sit next to, I will enter into a lengthy conversation with... For some reason I had no doubt that it would be a woman. And next to him at the table was a priest, and they had a very lengthy conversation about the Jesus Prayer. In the evening he told his mother that he was determined never to marry. She remained silent, but he noticed that she was happy; she wanted him to devote himself to God, and secretly prayed for this. As for women, this is just for the sake of order. However, Pavel Ivanovich had not yet left this society - he attended various evenings and dinners, being invited by his comrades, he did not leave simply because of his inability to refuse, to put an end to such an empty pastime. But even there the Lord showed him His presence in various seemingly insignificant cases. He remembered one of them at the end of his life, talking with his spiritual children on the day of the Nativity of Christ in 1912. “When I was still living in the world,” he said, “I was once in an aristocratic house. There were many guests. The conversations were extremely boring. They conveyed news, talked about the theater, etc. People with low souls were satisfied with this conversation, but many were bored and yawned. One of the guests turned to the daughter of the owner of the house with a request to play something... She agreed. She walked up to the marvelous concert grand piano and began to sing and play: An angel flew across the midnight sky, All this took place on a large glass terrace; It was night, from the windows one could see an ancient noble garden, illuminated by the silver light of the moon. I looked at the faces of the listeners and read concentrated attention and even tenderness on them, and one of the guests, covering his face with his hands, cried like a child, and I had never seen him cry. But why did this singing touch everyone so much? I think that this happened because singing tore people away from base worldly interests and directed their thoughts to God, the Source of all good things. This song was written by Lermontov, a sinful man, and it was not sung by a saint, but the words of this beautiful poem made a strong impression.” Another incident occurred at a masquerade ball in one of the rich houses. “At this ball,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, there was one wonderful beauty. The only daughter of wealthy parents, she was well educated, brought up, of course, only in a secular way - why not give her pleasure? Her parents spared nothing for her. Her costume, depicting a pagan goddess, cost more than one thousand; There was a lot of talk about this costume. The ball opened with dancing, as always, a polka dance, followed by other dances, and finally a French quadrille. During the quadrille, the beauty suddenly fell in her death throes. She tore off her mask, her face turned black and looked terrible. The jaws curled, horror was expressed in the eyes with a plea for help that no one could give her. And so she died in the middle of the ball. They grieved for her, especially her parents, buried her, erected a magnificent monument over her ashes, and everything earthly ended for her. What happened to her soul? Of course, God’s ways are inscrutable, but according to our poor understanding, she cannot be in the Kingdom of Light. She appeared before God's judgment. And the Lord said: “What I find you in, that’s what I judge.” And the Lord found her among the games in the clothes of the goddess of debauchery.” Pavel Ivanovich gradually withdrew into his lonely single life, almost stopped visiting aristocratic houses and increasingly avoided the officers' feasts, which were always done together - he sometimes gave money, but did not appear there. Devoting a lot of time to reading, he sometimes took on the then fashionable works. So, they “persuaded” him, as he said, to read Spielhagen’s popular novel “From Darkness to Light” 4 . “I started reading,” the Elder recalled, “and was disappointed. Everything there is only darkness, heroes and heroines are also filled with darkness; When will the light appear, I thought, but I read and read, and didn’t even get to the light, it was all just darkness. I left this book unread.” The Lord’s care for the future elder is amazing, because this is what happened after that: “One day I entered the orderly’s room to give him some instructions: I saw him sleeping, and on the table, next to him, was a little book about Philaret the Merciful. I became interested in her, woke up the orderly so that he would open the doors if anyone came, and I took the book and went out into the garden. From the very first pages I could not restrain myself from tears and read with great desire (I generally read quickly) the whole story. I gave the book to the orderly. He smiles: “Did you like the book?” “I really liked it,” I answer, “I read it with pleasure.” - “And I, master, tried to read your book, what’s it like... Shpil... Shpil... I can’t pronounce it.” - “Shpilhagen? Well, did you like it?” - “Where you really like it! I read one page and didn’t understand anything; I read the other one too. Well, I quit.” - “Yes, I don’t like it either, yours is better.” - “So why are you reading?” “I started reading from someone else’s voice, but now I’ve given up.” “Yes,” my orderly concluded thoughtfully, “there is only emptiness there.” And he was right." Since 1884, Pavel Ivanovich lived alone in Kazan; his stepmother and aunt remained in Orenburg. He had the most excellent record in his service, and the rank of general was not far off for him. But at the same time, he delved deeper into his prayer life. Fellow officers were replaced by clergy in his circle. – Have you heard that Pavel Ivanovich became friends with the monks! He drinks tea with them, talks... - Really? What an unfortunate man... The elder recalled that he then began to be considered “not quite normal” among the “cultured” society. Father Barsanuphius told his spiritual children about who came to him “for tea” exactly then. “A certain schema-monk from Athos visited me,” he said. I received him as best I could... He came to me in the evening, around seven o'clock. We sit and talk. He tells me that demons can also appear sensually. “Have they appeared to you, Father?” - I ask. “Why, I saw it once in my life... One day I came from mass, lay down to rest before the meal, the door was locked. Suddenly I see two black arap boys standing. I think, where does this come from? I hear one say to the other: “We’ll kill him, we’ll kill him.” I opened my eyes. “He’s not sleeping,” he replies. “Nothing, bring it quickly.” I see they are carrying something in the form of a shawl or a cloud. “Throw it on him, he will suffocate, no one will know why he died.” I stood up and made the sign of the cross: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” Instantly the little black girls jumped to the end of the room. I say: “What do you, damned ones, want from me? Why do you hate us Orthodox Christians so much?” - “Out of envy that God is unfair to us: why do you want to take our places?” - “How so?” - “Yes, of course! You sin, you sin, and then you go to your confessor, whisper with him there, and everything is forgiven to you.” - “But you can return to your places again.” - "How?" - “So, humble yourself, come right now to the icon and pray.” - “No way!” - “Well, it’s your own fault, pride ruined you.” One day the future elder was walking through Kazan with the monk Fr. Afanasy. They had to go through the market square. Father Afanasy looked at the merchants and smiled. Pavel Ivanovich asked him why he was smiling. “Yes, of course,” he answered. “Here people are worried, fussing, fussing, but a hundred years will pass, and none of them will be there. Do you see the baby there? And that won't happen. - Yes, it's true. But it’s good that you made the world laugh, while others can’t let go of everything... – Well, that’s doubtful, I don’t think about it. “You will be a monk,” Fr. said confidently. Afanasy. Through this monk, the Lord revealed to Pavel Ivanovich his future destiny, but he will not soon understand this, although every step will bring him closer to the fulfillment of Fr. Afanasia. Around this time, he was struck by one of his comrades, who was very skeptical about monasteries. “I don’t understand,” he said, “why do people sit in solitary cells and move away from human gaze.” “Meanwhile,” said Fr. Barsanuphius - this man was a monk at heart, and his soul was pure, sublime. A poet and musician, he had a special ability to recite poetry like no other. Music was his passion. Sometimes he tells you something and suddenly exclaims: - No, I don’t know how to tell, I can’t explain it in words, but that’s what it is! - sits down at the piano, throws his head back and plays an improvisation. - Do you understand? - he will ask later. Often you cannot understand him, but he did not change his system of explanations. His apartment was furnished with taste and not banal... His soul was always fed by high ideals and was far from any everyday prose. At first he rejected monasticism, but later he found complete satisfaction of his high aspirations precisely in monasticism - in the monastery on Mount Athos, where he went, leaving everything in the world.” Another Kazan acquaintance of Pavel Ivanovich, similar to the first in that he was also a man with ideal aspirations, ended differently. He was not just a musician, but a famous composer named Paskhalov, the author of well-known romances (he wrote them based on the words of his mother, who wrote poetry). He studied at the Moscow and Paris Conservatories and, after numerous performances in different countries, returned to Russia and settled in Kazan. Paskhalov was only three years older than Pavel Ivanovich. Pavel Ivanovich was also a musician - he played the harmonium and even believed that it better conveys the “depth of feeling” than the piano. “To improve in the game,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, - I started taking lessons from Paskhalov. At first he asked for a large fee for the lesson, but I had the money and I agreed. Then he fell in love with me, unworthy, and offered to study for free, which I, of course, refused. Our studies were going well, the only thing that saddened me was that Paskhalov had completely fallen behind the Church. I had to have a conversation with him about this more than once. “It is impossible to be saved without the Church,” I told him, “after all, you believe in God, why do you reject the means of salvation?” - “What am I doing? I live like everyone else, or like the majority... Why rituals? Is it really impossible to be saved without going to church?” “Impossible,” I answer, “there are seven doors to salvation.” You have already entered some, but you need to enter others too.” - “What are the seven doors? I have never heard anything like it." – “Seven doors are seven sacraments. Holy baptism has been completed over you, therefore, some doors have been passed, but it is necessary to enter the doors of repentance, it is necessary to unite with Christ in the sacrament of Holy Communion.” “Well, what are you telling me, Pavel Ivanovich, everyone serves God as best they can, as they finally see fit. You go to church, keep fasts, etc., but I serve God with music, does it really matter?” – and without waiting for an answer, Paskhalov began to play. I have never heard such music before, he played inimitably that evening. I lived in furnished rooms: and all the corridors were filled with people, doors opened from all the rooms - everyone was eager to listen to the brilliant composer. Finally he came. “Surprisingly good,” I noted, “but music is music, and it still cannot replace the church.” Our conversation with him that evening lasted well past midnight. He left in a special mood, peaceful, joyful. The next day he came to me again: “You know, Pavel Ivanovich, all night I thought about what a great sinner I am. Soon the fast will come, I will certainly fast and receive communion.” - “Why wait for fasting, fast now.” - “No, now it’s inconvenient.” “Well, Alexander Vasilyevich, you go to church this Sunday, even Epiphany, listen to the singers there, pray, and on Tuesday we will have a lesson, we will talk to you. “You said,” I continued, “that art regenerates the soul, but in reality it turns out differently. You drink and know that it’s bad, but you don’t have the strength to stop. Then, they divorced their wife and did not remain faithful to her, and the Holy Scripture says that neither fornicators nor drunkards can inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.” Paskhalov thought... Two or three days passed. Paskhalov did not drink. On the fifth day he left home and returned late at night. The maid who opened the door for him saw with horror that Paskhalova was being led by some monster with huge fiery eyes and, pushing him into the door, said: “Take your master.” Paskhalov was completely drunk. “Why, Alexander Vasilyevich,” the maid remarked, undressing him, “didn’t want to drink, but now you’re drunk again?” Paskhalov did not answer, but the next morning he was found in his room having committed suicide. And the enemy appeared to one of his relatives and shouted with hellish laughter: “Oh, he wanted to save himself! No, I’ll strangle him.” And he really strangled him... May the Lord save us all from such a death.” Pavel Ivanovich felt sorry for this talented man, but what can you do - he did not find the strength to turn to God’s mercy and became a prey to hell. Once Pavel Ivanovich went to the Kazan Opera House, it was November 4 in the early 1880s. He was invited to the box by his military superiors. He generally liked “serious” opera, but more the music than the content, and beautiful singing. The production was very magnificent; Meyerbeer’s “Huguenots” was performed for the first time. The curtain rose, the orchestra began to play, arias were heard... And Pavel Ivanovich was suddenly attacked by melancholy. “In my heart, it was as if someone was saying: “You came to the theater and are sitting here, but if you die now, what then? The Lord said: “What I find you in, that’s what I judge you in”... Leave the theater quickly... With what and how will your soul appear to God if you die now?” I felt scared. I completely agreed with this inner voice and thought: “I have to leave.” Then another voice begins to speak: “What will your friends say? Is it worth paying attention to every trifle..." Again the first voice: "Go, go quickly, your friends have now forgotten about you, and then you can say anything to their questions." A struggle began, but the first voice prevailed and I decided to leave. He quietly rose from his chair, reached the door with barely audible steps, quickly closed it behind him and quickly walked towards the exit. Almost ran down the stairs. He quickly put on his coat, ran out into the street, hailed a cab and flew home. Only when I had already entered my cozy little room was I free to catch my breath. Here I decided never to go to the theater again, and I really didn’t go... Then years passed, I remembered again... and I wanted to know what the date was then, whose memory it was then. I did it and found out that it was October 4th, the memory of Saints Gurias and Barsanuphius, the Kazan wonderworkers... Lord, it’s St. me. Barsanuphius led him out of the theater!... What a deep meaning in the events of our life, how it is arranged - as if according to some special mysterious plan.” Barsanuphius... Once Pavel Ivanovich went to the Kazan St. John the Baptist Monastery, located near the Kremlin. It was during Holy Week. He decided to fast. The monastery was neglected, uncomfortable, poor. “Can I confess here?” – he asked. “It’s possible,” they told him. They pointed out to him a hieromonk of advanced years, Father Sergius. Pavel Ivanovich approached him, he read the prayers, confession began... Then Pavel Ivanovich asked who the abbot of this monastery was. “Hegumen Barsanuphius,” they answered him. “What a difficult name!” – Pavel Ivanovich noted. Father Sergius said: “What is difficult? It’s familiar to us... After all, in our monastery rest the relics of St. Barsanuphius, together with Archbishop Gury, sent from Moscow by Tsar Ivan the Terrible... These are the first Kazan saints and miracle workers!” From that day on, Pavel Ivanovich began to often pray at the relics of the Kazan Wonderworker, asking him for his protection: “St. Father Barsanuphius, pray to God for me!” Often visiting this monastery, praying fervently, Pavel Ivanovich involuntarily drew attention to its poverty. So a thought spoke to him: “Look, what a poor, dirty lamp. Buy a new one that’s better.” I bought it and brought it. Then he bought a case for a large icon... Something else... “And so I fell in love with everything in this monastery,” he recalled. “Truly, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Now his colleagues no longer invited Pavel Ivanovich to parties or to the theater... But he made other acquaintances. “I knew two brothers,” the Elder recalled, “one was then a doctor, and the other was a professor at the Theological Academy (now Metropolitan Anthony of St. Petersburg). Two brothers chose different paths for themselves and after many years of separation came together and began a conversation. Of course, the conversation also touched on the spiritual side. Everything the doctor said was clear to the Academy professor, but what the professor said, the doctor could not understand, not that he didn’t want to, no, he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, and asked his brother to start talking about something else.” The professor became a monk after difficult life trials. He lost his family. His wife died. Then two small children. They suffered from scarlet fever, and at critical moments, when their suffering became unbearable, he carried them in his arms around the room, rocked them and sang with tears: “An angel flew across the midnight sky...” He sang, involuntarily expecting that now their innocent souls would fly away to heaven... And they flew away. Then all his life, being already a metropolitan, he could not hear this poem by Lermontov without tears... The future metropolitan presented Pavel Ivanovich with the then recently published edition of “Frank Stories of a Wanderer to His Spiritual Father” (the author of the book remains unknown). Pavel Ivanovich read and thought: “Yes, here is another way of salvation, a very reliable one: the Jesus Prayer.” One of the monks blessed him with a rosary. He began to say the Jesus Prayer... And what happened here! Demons rose up against him. Rustles, knocks, whispers, blows on the wall, on the windows began to be heard in his rooms... Pavel Ivanovich endured for a long time, praying earnestly... And he became more and more terrified. Four months passed, he could not stand it and left this work. The demons immediately subsided... Elder Ambrose reproached him at the very first meeting, after listening to the story about this: “I should have continued.” In 1884, a new professor of astronomy appeared at Kazan University, transferred here from St. Petersburg, Dmitry Ivanovich Dubyago. It was a young man, the same age as Pavel Ivanovich. “With extensive education, he was a deeply religious person,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius. “Every day he went to church for early mass, then went to a restaurant to drink tea, and then went to lectures. He was a zealous defender of Orthodoxy, sincerely convinced of its truth.” So they often stood in the same church to pray, a scientist and a military man... And both of them were “strange” to those around them. Pavel Ivanovich's circle of acquaintances became very small. And, perhaps, he felt warmest of all with the smallest of them - with children... That’s where there was complete sincerity, crystal purity of soul... Pavel Ivanovich was helped by his orderly Alexander, a kind-hearted soldier. They found poor children who lived in outlying huts, in basements, in corners... “I really loved organizing children’s feasts,” said the Elder. “These feasts brought joy to me and the children equally. I usually organized them on holidays. These poor children came to my apartment, all dressed in festive clothes, of course, very modest... I chose one or two bigger boys and showed them the way - where to go. To this they shouted to me: “We know, we know!” And all of them, 10–20 people, no more than 20, boys no younger than 4–5 years old and up to 10–11, and girls no older than 8 (to avoid temptation), went out of town about three miles into the forest. And due to my weakness, I took myself a cab. A little earlier, my orderly went there with mysterious bundles. When everyone was going to the appointed place, I, first of all, let the children run around the forest and play to their heart's content. Then, when they were a little tired from running around and hungry, I sat them down on the grass near a long and wide towel laid out right on the ground, on which there were plates with sour cream, cottage cheese, boiled cold beef, eggs, black and white bread - it seems that’s all, and maybe there was something else, for example, butter, and nothing more. When they have had enough of this, I start giving them tea, and I give them cheap sweets and gingerbread. Of course, there was sugar, maybe a little jam, but that’s all. At the same time, we were talking, and sometimes they would bombard us with questions. I also told them about something useful for the soul, from the lives of saints, or generally about something spiritual. Everyone listens with pleasure and attention. Sometimes, for greater edification, I invited one of the monks or hieromonks with me and let him speak, which made an even greater impression... So, we used to sit in the forest on a hill until 10–11 pm. The moon will rise... The already wonderful view of Kazan becomes even more beautiful. In front of us is a clearing, behind it is a river 6, and beyond the river is Kazan with its wonderful arrangement of houses, gardens and churches... And I felt good then - how much joy - and pure joy - I experienced then and how many good seeds were thrown then into these children's receptive souls!... Returning from the “feast”, I thought: “Where are my comrades now? How they now spend time in restaurants, in “Livadias”, “lipomadiyas”, “gadiyas” with prodigal depraved girls. Lord, Lord!” And so the famous Kazan blessed Nikolushka, meeting Pavel Ivanovich on the porch of the church, began to ask: - What about the dead ones? Are they sleeping? “At that time I did not understand the meaning of these words... He called passions dead,” Elder Barsanuphius later remarked. The blessed one addressed this question only to those people who had already achieved some success in the fight against passions. Someone suggested that Pavel Ivanovich go to the blessed Annushka, who had been lying in her closet for forty years on a bed made of three pieces of wood covered with felt - her legs were not working. He came, this closet was very clean, and there was also an old woman looking after the blessed one. “When I entered,” the Elder recalled, “Annushka quickly began to undress, even began to take off her shirt, so that her breasts even became visible. I turned away; She says: “Give me that green caftan.” I handed her a caftan that was hanging on the wall. Having put it on, she began to say: “You see how beautiful I have become, do you see?” This was completely incomprehensible to me, and this meant that I needed to renew my soul. Finally I asked her: “How will it all end for me?” She took it and wrapped her head in a caftan and sat down like that. I left her while she was still in that position.” Then they explained to Pavel Ivanovich that she predicted monasticism and even schema for him (when she wrapped her head in a caftan). Another blessed woman, whom Pavel Ivanovich visited in Kazan, was completely different from Annushka. Her name was Euphrosyne. She loved Christ from childhood. Her parents were rich, they gave her an excellent education, so she knew several European languages, was widely read in world literature, but at one time she began to read only spiritual books - the Holy Scriptures, the Psalter, the writings of the holy fathers, the lives of saints. “She especially loved Isaac the Syrian,” recalled Pavel Ivanovich, “whom she compared to an eagle soaring in the sky.” While still a young girl, she secretly left her home, was a novice in some monastery for a long time, and then, on the advice of the abbess, she went to Kyiv to see Metropolitan Philaret (Amphiteatrov), and he sent her to Kazan to the Right Reverend Anthony 7 . Here she rented an apartment from a pious merchant, her admirer. “I met Mother Euphrosyne at one abbot’s house, and then began to visit her,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius. “When I met her, she was already an old woman, but her face retained traces of its former beauty. Her blue eyes were especially beautiful - so much unearthly beauty shone in them! And in general, in her entire appearance there was some kind of special spiritual beauty... One day I went to see her after the all-night vigil on the Feast of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos. Our all-night vigil ended early, at half past seven. My mother greeted me warmly as always: - No need, why do you bother? - What a fuss, I already have everything ready. I didn’t notice how the samovar appeared on the table. Mother Euphrosyne found me a glass and her own cup, small as a thimble. We started talking. “I’m surprised, why do you come to me, poor thing?” “Mother,” I answer, “when Christ asked the disciples if they wanted to leave Him (as some disciples left without comprehending the teaching about Communion), they answered: “Lord, where will we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). I can tell you the same thing. Where should I go from you? You have the verbs of eternal life. I feel good here, in your small cozy room, with images and a burning lamp, calm and joyful. “Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us and all of us, taking up our cross, say: Hosanna in the highest,” said the old woman, “do you understand what the word “Hosanna” means? – Yes, “Hosanna” means salvation, but in order to be saved, it is necessary to fulfill the commandments of Christ. At His Last Judgment, the Lord will demand from us an account of how we spent our lives, how we fulfilled His holy law. Nothing can be justified here, neither by wealth nor by the customs of the world. So, I thought, when I was still living in my own home: the Lord will appear and ask: have you fulfilled My commandments? But I was the only daughter of rich parents... Great, but have you fulfilled My commandments? But I was a beauty... But did you fulfill My commandments? Such thoughts made me scared, and I decided to leave everything worldly. “Yes, you left it, but you can’t run away from the ball,” I objected. - This is not necessary. But one can and must fulfill the law of Christ in every rank and condition. - Do you hope to be saved? “I hope,” mother answered with confidence, “not because I fulfilled all the commandments, but at least took the tips.” But most importantly, I trust in the priceless merits of my Savior. You need to cleanse your heart in order to see the Lord,” Mother Euphrosyne continued. – Do you remember, Pushkin in his poem “The Prophet” says: And I heard the sky tremble, And the bastard underwater passage... This is a clear image of the human soul: in our hearts we can have both the heavenly flight of angels and the underwater passage of the sea... A pure heart contemplates the great mysteries of God. On the contrary, in a heart clouded by passions, an underwater passage is noticed, that is, base aspirations and desires, all kinds of impurity. Once, for three weeks, I was unable to be with Mother Euphrosyne: it was Easter, visits, in a word, there was no time. Finally, on May 15, Tsar’s Day, I went to see her. I come and find out that she is dying. Yesterday she was given unction, today she received the Holy Mysteries, and she no longer recognizes anyone. When I entered, she was lying on the sofa, and some old woman was sitting next to her, looking after her. Mother Euphrosyne recognized me and smiled faintly. After a while she suddenly stood up, her face somehow brightened especially, and she, holding out her hands, said: “Let me go to the Lord, where my soul has been yearning all my life.” Then, weakened, she fell back onto the pillow. I noticed that she wanted to cross herself, but did not have the strength to raise her hand. Then I took her hand, made the sign of the cross and made the sign of the cross over her. She smiled joyfully, sighed slightly, and was gone. When I returned home, I felt not sorrow, but joy that I was privileged to be present at the death of the righteous woman. “Here,” said Mother Euphrosyne, “my life has passed, I don’t know anything good about myself with which to appear before the throne of God, but I hear the singing of “Resurrection Day, let us be enlightened, people...” - and my soul becomes joyful and calm. “For from death to life, and from earth to heaven, Christ God has led us...” (Easter canon). The Lord fulfilled Mother Euphrosyne’s wish and she died on Easter. When they lifted the coffin with her withered body, the choir sang “Resurrection Day...” instead of “Holy God...”, the doors of the church opened wide, and light poured from the street like a wave, and she went to the eternal, unfading Light. The funeral of Mother Euphrosyne was solemn - many people accompanied her to the grave. The burial was performed by the archbishop, who, after interring her ashes, said a heartfelt word. It turned out that Mother Euphrosyne was secretly tonsured with the name Varvara. That’s how they remembered her: the newly deceased Varvara. No one knew this except her and the archbishop. And she hid it from me. The deceased was very humble. For her holy life, the Lord granted her the gift of clairvoyance, but she tried not to reveal this gift. She often told me: “Perhaps the Lord will vouchsafe you to serve Him as a monk.” Probably my future was open to her spiritual eye, but in her humility she never spoke in the affirmative, but always added “maybe.” She was buried near the Smolensk Cathedral. Pavel Ivanovich felt that a radical change in his life was approaching. The Lord also sent him dreams that he had never had before. I saw paradise in my dreams twice. “I once saw a magnificent city standing on the top of a mountain,” said Fr. Barsanuphius. “All the buildings in the city were incredibly beautiful, with some kind of special architecture that I had never seen. I stand in delight and admire. Suddenly I see the holy fool Misha approaching this city. Dressed only in one shirt that reaches to the knees, his feet are bare. I look at him and see that he does not touch the ground, but rushes through the air. I wanted to ask him something, but I didn’t have time: the vision ended and I woke up. I woke up with a feeling of extraordinary joy in my soul. Going out into the street, I suddenly saw Misha. He, as always, is in a hurry, in a hurry. “Misha,” I say, “I saw you in a dream today.” He, looking at me, answered: “The imams are not here for the city that abides, but we seek the one to come.” 8 Having said this, he quickly walked forward. Another time I see that I am standing in a magnificent church. The royal doors are open and the Easter service is being held. On the pulpit stands a deacon from a Kazan church. He says the song of the Easter canon, and the choir echoes him. The last words were especially imprinted in my mind: “The speech was perfect”... The choir sang amazingly. I had never heard such singing in my life: it seemed that every atom of the air sounded. This singing touched me and brought me into indescribable delight... I remember for a long time I was under the impression of a dream. I tried to remember every detail. I also wondered why I saw our deacon in the heavenly church. I began asking people who knew him about him. At first I received unsatisfactory answers: they say his bass is excellent. What bass?! You won’t go to heaven for his sake... Then I found out that he is a secret ascetic.” Finally, Pavel Ivanovich became convinced of the idea of ​​going to a monastery and taking monastic vows. But in what, where - there was complete uncertainty... Several times he visited the Raifa hermitage, which is thirty miles from Kazan, talked with the abbot, who warmed up to him, but no, he did not stay here. During one of his business trips, he sailed along the Volga and visited monasteries located near its banks. In some of them, as he recalled, he “experienced moments of such spiritual delight that he would gladly agree to have his body cut and burned... And yet he did not find a monastery where the Lord would tell him to stay... He was in Moscow on military business, learned that Father John of Kronstadt was serving in one of the army churches, and hurried there. When he entered the altar, Fr. John transferred the Holy Gifts from the throne to the altar, that is, the Liturgy ended. Having put the Cup down, he saw the military man, went up to him, kissed his hand and silently walked away to the throne. Those present looked at each other - of course, this is some kind of important omen - will this colonel be a priest?.. A persistent thought began to haunt Pavel Ivanovich: where to go? “Everyone knows me in Kazan,” he thought, “but I would like to go away from my family, even to Upper Egypt, where no one knows me.” One day he came to the chief's headquarters at the usual hour with a prepared report 9 . The boss was gone for a long time, then his orderly came and said that he would not be there today, he was unwell. “I had nothing to do,” recalls the Elder, “I started walking around the headquarters. Walking along the corridor, I noticed a book with a brown cover in one of the compartments. I took it and looked at the name: “Faith and Reason,” a magazine published in Kharkov by Archbishop Ambrose. He began to leaf through. Theological department, missionary, news and notes... I read: in the Kaluga province, not far from the city of Kozelsk, there is Optina Pustyn, and in it there is the great elder Ambrose, to whom thousands of pilgrims flock every day from all over Russia to resolve their perplexities... “So who will tell me which monastery to enter,” I thought and decided to take a vacation. “It’s high time to get some air, you’ve been sitting around for ten years, and your health doesn’t seem to be important,” my boss told me, “your comrades have already had two, even three, rides.” I will report to my superiors, and you will be given a decent allowance from the economic department. How long do you want to be on vacation, 26 days or two months? On August 26–28, 1889, Pavel Ivanovich Plikhankov, wearing a white jacket with colonel’s shoulder straps, arrived at the Optina Hermitage Skete. The sight of the military man who came to Elder Ambrose did not surprise anyone here - among the monks of Optina throughout its history there were many former officers, and it was not uncommon for there to be a believing officer who came to talk with the Elder. But this officer was still special. Blessed Mother Paraskeva, who was then in Elder Ambrose’s cell, felt this. Not yet seeing Pavel Ivanovich (he was just approaching the hotel), she said: – Pavel Ivanovich has arrived. - God bless! – answered Fr. calmly. Ambrose. They both knew in spirit that the future elder had arrived... When Pavel Ivanovich came to the Elder’s cell, he found there, in addition to Fr. Ambrose is still Fr. Anatoly (Zertsalova). Both of them greeted him, as he recalled, “very joyfully,” and the unwell, as usual, Fr. Ambrose stood up, showing special honor to the newcomer. Pavel Ivanovich told the Elder that he had a desire to enter a monastery, but did not know which one and asked his advice on this. The elder did not dwell on this topic for long; he said this: – The trial must continue for two more years, and then come to me, I will accept you. So - to the Optina Hermitage Skete. Two years - this is before receiving a pension (then Pavel Ivanovich’s service life ended: he could continue to serve, but he also had the right to retire). Of course, it was not just for the sake of this appointment that there were two years; the Lord Himself appointed them through the Elder. In the destinies of the elders, everything is mysterious and providential... I asked about. Ambrose Pavel Ivanovich about the size of his salary and, having heard the impressive figure, innocently exclaimed: - Wow! Well, here's your obedience... And the Elder named a number of churches where Pavel Ivanovich was supposed to donate some amounts. Why exactly these churches? Father Barsanuphius recalled this and was surprised: “Until now I have not understood why this particular church, but, of course, this also had its deep meaning.” - Should I resign now? - No, wait two years. In 1912, the rector of Optina Pustyn, Archimandrite Xenophon, recalled: “Here is your first visit to Optina: your image stands clearly in my eyes, just as when I was still a hierodeacon... I was in line when you entered the church, at that time still in the uniform of a colonel. I will not forget what a pleasant impression you made on me during this visit, and this first impression did not deceive me.” In Kazan, recently Pavel Ivanovich lived in furnished rooms and made friends here with the son of a bellhop, a boy of about twelve, a very religious man - he later entered a monastery. Once upon Pavel Ivanovich’s return from Optina, they were drinking tea from the samovar, and the boy told him his dream: – I see that you are walking from the city towards the cemetery in all white and singing the irmos “I passed through water like dry land, and escaped the Egyptian evil...” - and then I woke up. “Subsequently,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, this dream was interpreted for me. The city is the world; the cemetery (which in Kazan was located on the eastern side) meant the Upper Jerusalem; I went to die for the world; white clothes are a whitening of the soul, since at that time my decision to leave everything had matured. Irmos “Water passed through like dry land” is sung during the funeral service for infants and means the funeral service for the world.” Pavel Ivanovich began to fulfill the obedience given to him by Elder Ambrose, including the order that he fast four times before the beginning of the Nativity Fast, that is, until November 15. And on September 17, he remembered one of his dreams, which he had on September 17, 1883, that is, six years ago. “It seemed to me,” said Elder Barsanuphius, “that I was in some large room, and in front of me was an ancient clock with a large pendulum... Some old man was near me and, pointing his hand at the clock, asked. “What time is it?” “It’s half past six,” I answer. He asks me a second time: “What time is it?” - and then a third time. “It’s half past seven,” I say with a hint of irritation in my voice, and he replies: “In three years, on this day and hour, you will die.” And I wake up, go to the window, pull back the curtain, take the clock standing on the table and look: it showed 35 minutes past seven... I was amazed - the dream coincided with reality. And I thought: I need to correct my life. We need to start preparing, but I absolutely don’t know how. One monk I knew advised: “Keep fasts, go to church more often, pray more and gradually move away from all the pleasures of this world.” I began to fulfill this with my strength... Two years pass, the third is already coming to an end, the month of September has already arrived. This means that I will die soon. I then went to the Raifa Hermitage and arrived there exactly on September 13, the day of the renovation of the Church of the Resurrection. It was Friday, September 14 - the Exaltation of the Cross, and then the cross was being raised to the new bell tower, and I thought: “Isn’t this my cross being raised?” On the 15th it was Sunday, I got ready and on the 17th I received the Holy Mysteries of Christ... After communion, I stood in the church and thought: I’m going to crash... But I didn’t crash...” And now three more years have passed. In Optina, seeing Elder Ambrose, he remembered that the Elder in that dream looked like him. This means that the dream was not about bodily death, but about death for the world, which has almost happened... But physical death soon came close to Pavel Ivanovich, as if testing his readiness. When two days of the Nativity Fast had passed, that is, on November 17, he fell ill - no one knows what, but very strongly, so that he could not remember himself from the fever. The military doctor examined him, shook his head and hinted that he had little chance of surviving until the morning. The priest was called. He began to confess to Pavel Ivanovich, but he could not say anything except one word: “Sinful... sinful...” “I lay down on the bed,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, they covered me with a blanket, and I was left alone. Suddenly I heard, as if some voice from heaven: “Don,” it was struck at Matins in the nunnery, and in my soul someone said: “You will live”... I felt joyful, and I fell asleep. The next morning my orderly comes and carefully lifts the blanket from my head, thinking to see me already dead, and I say to him: “What are you doing, Alexander?” The orderly was delighted and said: “Are you alive, your honor?” - “Yes, I’m alive...” Although after that I lay for three months, struggling with death... I ordered the day’s Gospel to be opened and read to me. Alexander took it and began to read the parable of the barren fig tree: “In the coming summer you will cut it off, lest it produce fruit” (Luke 13:9). I thought that I really was a barren fig tree, although I had previously believed that I had various virtues.” We will see further that the Lord sent Fr. Barsanuphius suffered from bodily suffering; in general, it did not leave him until the end of his life. But these were not “diseases”, “illnesses” in the usual worldly sense, since they did not produce a destructive effect, but a creative one: the flesh was suppressed by some Divine fire and the spirit was lifted up. This is mysterious and surprising for us. But in fact, as Fr. Nectarius, from a military man the Lord created a perspicacious old man, a mentor and a miracle worker. Further we will see how this fire engulfed him and plunged him, as it seemed to him, almost into death at the greatest stages of his life - during monastic tonsure, before being tonsured into the schema... At the same time, you involuntarily think about the Venerable Ambrose, the great Elder of Optina - this Divine fire (in our understanding of “bodily illness”), having flared up in him once, did not go out until his death. Often being on the verge of death, they, the elders, seemed to penetrate into eternity and could hear and see what ordinary mortals were not given to see and hear. Perhaps, even during his illness, thinking about the life to which the Lord called him, remembering his meeting with Elder Ambrose, Pavel Ivanovich wrote a meditation poem dedicated to the Elder, who had already become his spiritual father. As the epigraph to this poem, Pavel Ivanovich chose the words of the Lord from the Gospel of Luke (Luke 12:37): “Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, finds awake.” Upon recovery, he printed these verses as a separate sheet of paper in several copies in a printing house, and one of them was sent to Elder Ambrose in Optina Pustyn. These are the verses: Blessed is he who walks the narrow path, I did not serve perishable idols, In whose pure heart is the King of Heaven Blessed is he who has conquered passions And he was alien to vain aspirations, Who amidst everyday troubles He bore his cross without complaint, And he was a comforter to the mourners And before the world, lying in evil, How could a slave not bend his knees! Who was alien to anger and pride, And eternal life and shrines, Like luminous goodness; Who realized with all his soul The futility and lies of carnal joy, How a wanderer and stranger lived In the midst of a blinding world, And I didn’t taste the fat meat. Blessed is he who from his youth despised This world is both vain and false Who burned with jealousy for God And he longed for eternal salvation; I knew no malice or doubt, And under the cover of higher powers, And full of bright hopes, Without cowardly hesitation, He entered the monastery as a monk... Blessed is he who has kept the faith To your high calling! To whom for the feat in retribution The beginning of future creations, Sent the gift of knowledge high Your deep wisdom, Your mysterious miracles! Blessed is he who is among troubles and evils Kept the gospel verb; And crucified the flesh with its passions, And overthrew the lawless oppression, Strives to the eternal abode, - Where the Savior reigns in glory With the Father and the Spirit, and before Them The Shamorda sisters, preparing a book of poems by Elder Barsanuphius for publication after his death, gave this poem the title: “In memory of the deceased Elder of Optina Hermitage, Hieroschemamonk, in God. Ambrose" (“Spiritual poems of the Optina elder Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius” were published twice in the Shamordino printing house: in 1914 and 1915) - they took advantage of the publication of the poem in “Soulful Reading” for 1893 (May issue), where this title appeared for the first time 10. In the summer of 1891, Pavel Ivanovich went to Orenburg to take his mother’s blessing for monasticism. Then he resigned, and things didn’t get done right away; some obstacles arose in his career, which took a lot of work to eliminate. In September, I decided to go to Optina and receive the final blessing from the Elder to enter the Skete, and then, upon returning, complete all worldly affairs and leave this world forever. Driving through Moscow, I stopped there for a while. Once I was driving a cab along Theater Square and sat thinking, leaning my arms and chest on my sword. The horse ran quickly. And suddenly someone invisible snatched the sword from his hands, right as he walked... Looking around, he saw no one in the deserted square. Then he told Elder Ambrose about this, and he remarked: “What’s surprising? You no longer need the sword. But here is the spiritual sword for you...” and handed him the rosary. Arriving at Skete, Pavel Ivanovich learned that Elder Ambrose was in the Shamordino monastery. I went there. Seeing the Elder, he asked for his blessing to enter the Skete; O. Ambrose gave his blessing and began asking about various circumstances. Having learned that the world was resisting his departure, he smiled: “It’s okay, they’ll let him go. The Lord Himself has decided your fate.” Pavel Ivanovich reminded him of the poem sent from Kazan. Father Ambrose's answer was a little strange: – Do you have the poem? – he asked, pointing his finger at Pavel Ivanovich’s chest. He felt the pockets on his chest and answered with bewilderment: - Um, no! How is this so? “I didn’t understand anything then,” recalled Father Barsanuphius. - And when they told me that Fr. Ambrose does not say anything in vain, even as a joke, I asked Father Hilarion and Father Jonah about this, each separately, and they gave me the same answers, namely: “With you” - that means in your heart, i.e. “Are you doing what is written in the poem, does your internal structure correspond to what is described?” Then I realized what was going on. I realized that I really didn’t have the poem with me, but with Father Ambrose, of course, it was there.” So, the blessing to enter the Skete was received - and this happened on September 17 - the day when in a dream an unknown elder pointed to his watch and predicted “death for the world” to Pavel Ivanovich. “Finish your business and come to us on the occasion of the Nativity of Christ,” Elder Ambrose told him goodbye. On the way back to Kazan, probably with the blessing of Elder Ambrose, Pavel Ivanovich stopped at the Chernigov monastery near the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. He lived there for six days, prepared, confessed and received communion. “After receiving the Holy Mysteries, I felt joyful, light at heart,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius. – In front of me lay the Psalter in Russian translation. I open it and read: “Who will lead me into the fortified (fenced) city... - into the city of the fence” in Slavic (Ps. 59:11). Then I thought: this (that is, that monastery) is a fortified city. Then I looked at the interpretation, and it really turned out that this was so.” He also saw Elder Barnabas, near whose cell there was always a crowd of people, as in the Optina Skete near the “hut” of Fr. Ambrose. In “Cell Notes” Fr. Barsanuphius made a brief note about this visit in 1892: “I stopped on the way to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra and from there went to Skete, where I was honored to see Father Barnabas. When he looks at me, he says: “You need to get married! You will live long, you will live long. You have a cold.” Indeed, I was suffering from influenza at that time and did not expect recovery. I understood the words “you need to get married” later, because they meant entering into a spiritual union with Christ.” The same strange words of Elder Barnabas were interpreted to Pavel Ivanovich in Optina by Fr. Anatoly (Zertsalov): “Every Christian soul,” he said, “is the bride of Christ, therefore, we must “get married,” that is, unite with Christ; the word “caught a cold” means a spiritual illness from which a person suffers until Christ is depicted in him.” December 28, 1909 Fr. Barsanuphius told his future successor, novice Nikolai Belyaev: “I never told anyone, but I’ll tell you: when I went to Fr. Barnabas, he predicted a lot for me, and a lot has already come true. He told me: “Everyone will bow to you...” - and indeed they do... And then: “You will live and say the Jesus Prayer.” Pavel Ivanovich became a monk, then the head of the monastery, then the abbot of the monastery, and began to perform the Jesus Prayer while still a novice and achieved great success in this endeavor... Returning from Optina, Pavel Ivanovich stopped in Vasilsursk and, as he recalled, “stopped at a familiar monastery, and I was offered to visit a novice who lived in the forest. I went to his wretched cell, located in the middle of a dense forest. He knocked and said a prayer. The elder received me with love. “Who are you going to be?” – he asked me. “I am the warrior Pavel, bless me, father.” - “What kind of priest am I, I’m just a novice.” I talked to him and began asking how he lived, how he pleased God. “Living in the forest is safe from people, but you have to fight with demons,” said the Elder. - They just don’t get enough insurance. One day, in broad daylight, I see a lot of horses riding towards my cell, with Chuvash people sitting on them. They stopped and knocked. “Open it quickly,” they say, “we are frozen.” Father Superior forbade me to let anyone in without prayer, so I say: “Make a prayer.” - “What prayer is there?” - they answer. Say: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us.” There is laughter outside the door. Then everyone gets on their horses and rides off. I went out to look - there were no traces in the snow, and there were snowdrifts around... therefore, it was all ghostly. And then the dead man comes at night, bangs his fist and roars at the top of his lungs. “Yes, St. Seraphim had such temptations,” I said. “That’s the reverend, but what about me? And my prayer is small, but still the Lord helps. Most of all I practice the Jesus Prayer.” I asked for instructions on how to do it. “This prayer is terrible,” answered the hermit, “Satan does not like it very much and tries with all his might to take revenge on those who perform it.” It is dangerous to go through this prayer without guidance. If you want to start it, start small. Take your rosary... do you have them? - Well, according to the rosary, a hundred Jesus prayers a day with bows, whether you want them to the ground or bows from the waist, it doesn’t matter. But such a case happened to me. I haven’t told anyone, but I’ll tell you. Why do I have such a preference? - Because you will be a monk. And more than that... I went to prayer in the evening. I have a rug. Well, I’m standing on my knees and suddenly I feel that the rug is moving more and more... And I rise into the air... I reached the ceiling, it parted, and I rose to a terrible height. The Volga was visible as a narrow ribbon... Our city seemed very small... an abyss spread out beneath me. Lord, I think, if I fall from here, there will be no bones left... I pressed my head to my rug and began to pray: “Lord, save me; Lord, help me...” I raise my head and see - again I’m in my cell... He had to endure many other temptations.” It took almost three months to complete the mundane affairs. “I gave one colleague a final farewell visit just before leaving,” said Fr. Barsanuphius. “I’m driving a cab past a church in honor of the Holy Trinity; on the wall there was a full-length icon of the Savior with outstretched arms. Usually I always cross myself reverently and nothing more, I pass by. This time I drove thinking and with my head down. I raise my head and suddenly I see this very icon and it’s as if someone directly said to me in my heart: “Now you are Mine!” Christ seemed to be directly telling me: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” 11... Never was there such an impression from this icon as then. I was touched, tears came to my eyes. The cab driver has passed a long time ago, but this icon still stands before my eyes. This is so etched in my memory for the rest of my life.” On December 17, 1901, on the day of remembrance of the three holy youths Ananias, Azariah and Misail, whom the Lord brought unharmed from the red-hot furnace in Babylon (“And the Lord vouchsafed me to leave the world, which is also a furnace of passions,” said Father Barsanuphius), the retired colonel left Kazan forever, picturesquely piled with towers and bell towers of the Kremlin and monasteries. and churches over the waters of the Volga and Kazanka... On the 20th he arrived in Moscow - on the day of remembrance of St. Peter, Metropolitan of Moscow and All Rus'. He went to the all-night vigil at the Cathedral of Christ the Savior and there he experienced some temptation: he didn’t like the singing, he even wanted to leave. But it turned out that at those moments the regent was simply not in the choir - and then he came, the singing immediately changed. The choir members sang “Christ is born, glorify...” with such feeling that the future monk was seized with great spiritual delight... Pavel Ivanovich was forty-seven years old and strong gray hair was already showing through. But Pavel Ivanovich forgot about his age - he longed to begin with God’s help a real, not a ghostly life, to do the work of saving his soul... He arrived in Optina Pustyn on December 24, on the Nativity of Christ. Elder Ambrose was no longer there; he reposed on October 10. Pavel Ivanovich was received by Father Anatoly, the head of the monastery, and greeted him joyfully and with love. For a long time Fr. Anatoly was an assistant and employee of the great elder Ambrose; being already the monastery commander, he modestly knelt before him among the other monks during a spiritual conversation. Father Ambrose said about him this way: “He was given such prayer and grace as is given to one in a thousand” (Fr. Anatoly was a great practitioner of the Jesus Prayer). The Lord endowed him with many gifts, including foresight; he warned his other spiritual children (among them were the Shamordin sisters) about the coming trials, preparing them to endure them patiently. With the death of Fr. Ambrose, he began to noticeably weaken and prepare for death. “He had no enemies,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius - he loved everyone, even those who did not love him - he seemed to love them more than others.” On December 26, Pavel Ivanovich was given a cell. “I settled in it,” he recalled, “I had the simplest furnishings. A bed made of three pieces of wood covered with felt folded in half, a stool, a simple unpainted table, simple lecterns (lecterns) with canvas, some linen, icons.” He said about. Anatoly that he “would like to live more alone.” “In prison?” - he asked. “Yes,” answered Pavel Ivanovich. “So, won’t you go to the bathhouse?” - "Certainly". “Yes, that’s what I’m saying, that you won’t go to the bathhouse,” said Fr. Anatoly. Pavel Ivanovich felt that this was not about bodily washing at all. “Yes,” said Fr. Anatoly. – The desert and the seclusion do not cleanse us. I can live in the desert with my passions and apparently not sin. There we cannot recognize all our weakness, our vices, irritation, condemnation, anger and more. And here they are cleaning us... As soon as they start “pushing” us, just hold on... We will recognize our weaknesses and humble ourselves. Here, without your request, they will begin to clean you. When you first start, everyone seems like an angel, but then you start to see vices, and the further you go, the more: you have to fight this. You have to hold on to the spirit. “The Spirit gives life, the letter kills” (2 Cor. 3:6). If you see monasticism as just one form, then life is not only difficult, but terrible. Hold on to your spirit... Pavel Ivanovich said that he would like to take off his officer’s uniform and put on a cassock. Father Anatoly said that it would be in about a month, then it would be necessary to contribute five hundred rubles to the monastery. “In general,” he said, “try to establish yourself here during my lifetime.” And what will happen after me is unknown. I pray to God that I can last another six months or a year to strengthen you. “Remember,” he also said, “that monasticism is the “hidden man of the heart,” 12 and not a cassock and external exploits. Father Anatoly, as well as Fr. To Nektarios, the hieromonk, to whom the new novice was appointed as a cell attendant, his future was, of course, open, but the demons also saw something, since from the first day of the novice Paul’s stay in the Skete they began a cruel attack against him, acting in the tried and tested way, that is, by restoring some of the brethren in the Skete against him. He did not allow himself any preparatory stages and immediately began an ascetic lifestyle. And the Lord blessed this path of his, which is generally too difficult and sometimes disastrous for beginners. Father Nektary, who led an almost reclusive life, had a good cell library, and also used the monastery one. Over many years of diligent reading, he studied a lot - both spiritual and secular literature, and even some of the exact sciences, as well as partly European languages ​​(it is known that he spoke French). The exit from his cell was straight into the church. And he sometimes covered the window with blue sugar paper. Pavel Ivanovich soon saw that Fr. Nektary combines the book study of asceticism with practical work and leaves nothing of the necessary and useful simply at the level of simple knowledge. He did not have long conversations with his cell attendant, but gave him books. Father Anatoly also did not like it when a monk reads the writings of the elders, acquires knowledge, but remains at a low level spiritually. Pavel Ivanovich at first accumulated questions from what he read and then, on occasion, asked them to Fr. Nectarius, then Fr. Anatoly. “You will come to Father Fr. Anatoly,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, - and you start asking him: how and what? And Father: “Eh, yes, brother, it’s from the wrong end!” He’ll talk, say something, and then: “Go, go!” - “Yes, how can it be, Father, but...” - “No! no, brother Pavel, you have to humble yourself, you have to humble yourself... go, go now!” And in another similar case: “Read books, but don’t go into subtleties or analysis, but pray.” - “Why is that?” - “You’ll get confused.” Father Anatoly instructed his spiritual son, but almost always in few words, more because he was already weak and suffered from heart failure and was tormented by shortness of breath. But there were cases, as Fr. recalled. Barsanuphius, when Fr. Anatoly was better and “he sometimes talked for an hour. It was possible to listen to him.” Pavel Ivanovich comes to Fr. Anatoly. “Tell him about your sorrows,” recalls Fr. Barsanuphius. “It was hard even to go to you, I got there by force, but my thoughts still said: “Why should you bother about. Anatoly, don’t go”... “Now it’s easy, as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders... - Yes, that’s how I have no time to visit Father. Macarius, then to Fr. Ambrose went, but now there’s nowhere to go... We, me and Father Ambrose, did everything together, comforting each other in sorrows... I’ll come and say: “Father Fr. Ambrose, something’s hard...” - “Well, what’s hard? Now everything is fine. But the days will come..." - Yes... and now they have come. There are many, many good monks, but there is no one to console... On February 10, 1892, Pavel Ivanovich was enrolled in the monastery brethren and dressed in a cassock. “When I put on a cassock,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, - I came to Father Fr. Anatoly, he said to me: “Well, brother Pavel...” - and what music these words rang out...” “I remember when I was still a new novice,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, - there was some kind of holiday, and the monastery brethren were in the monastery. When everyone began to approach the cross, I heard a man standing next to me, bending over to the boy, saying: - Look, the angelic order is coming. These simple words influenced me greatly... Yes, a monk should be like an angel.” Sometimes demons fought the novice Paul, as if under plausible pretexts. Suddenly he became bored with music, he wanted to have a harmonium in his cell, to play the melodies of church chants... Finally he told Elder Anatoly about this. He decisively cut off this thought, as coming from an enemy. And this thought disappeared forever... “There must be a harmonium,” said Fr. Anatoly. – When you have the Psalter in your heart, you can always play it. Father Ambrose had this Psalter and, when he wanted, he could play on it.” Then Pavel Ivanovich had a strong desire to re-read the Russian classics of fiction - and this is what Fr. Anatoly, - then, with a perfect (as far as possible to achieve) spiritual dispensation, it will be possible, but most likely this desire will disappear. But music and literature have already given the spiritual appearance of Fr. Barsanuphia is one special shade. He fell in love with the silence of the deserted Skete, the quiet ringing of its bells... Apple trees and cedars... The thoughtful pond... The quiet cemetery of the hermitage, where he loved to read the inscriptions on the slabs... On a moonlit night he walked around the Skete. Then he recalled: “I felt good in my soul then, joyful and calm. I walk around the Skete and then return to my cell. And in my cell it was always clean, a lamp shines in front of the icons, and a singing and jubilant night looks out the window, filling my cell with blue light... Yes, sometimes there are moments in life that cannot be conveyed in any way. I cannot convey to you the bliss that I felt then.” Since 1892, he began to keep “Cell Notes” in a large office book with an alphabet, arranging in dictionary order instructive passages from spiritual writings, things he heard about miracles, spiritually remarkable dreams told to him, predictions, and incidents from monastic life. Six days after he was clothed in the cassock, the novice Paul wrote out in this book under the letter “P” an excerpt from the works of St. Isaac the Syrian: “Suffering countless defeats from the enemy, and sometimes receiving great revelations in secret, for a long time I observed these unfortunate and happy cases and experienced some of them on myself, and finally, through my own, after many years of repeated experience and observation, by the grace of God, I learned that the basis of all good and the liberation of the soul from the captivity of the enemy and the path leading to the light of life consist of the following two things: staying in one place and unceasing fasting.” Pavel Ivanovich already understood that it would not be easy for him here in the Skete, but he firmly decided in his soul: to be here, as God pleases, until death. And the further he went, the more and more familiar this holy place became for him. At the end of 1892, Fr. Anatoly went to St. Petersburg, where he consulted doctors about his health. They didn’t tell him anything comforting - a bad heart, swollen lungs... They recommended him... a fashionable hydrotherapy resort in Ems, Germany - there he had to drink water and walk a lot. But how can you walk when your legs are swollen from standing in prayer, no... I decided to leave it. In St. Petersburg I met the righteous saint Fr. John, who invited him to his church in Kronstadt. And there, recalls Fr. Barsanuphius, “when the Liturgy began, Fr. John saw that with Father Fr. Anatoly is served by two angels. It is not known whether Father Fr. himself saw them. Anatoly or not, but Fr. John saw them clearly." Having learned about this, Fr. Anatoly was so distressed that he fell even more ill - he was afraid that the demon of pride would attack him... And then he constantly prayed to the Lord to erase this incident from his memory. When Fr. Anatoly returned to the Skete, Pavel Ivanovich saw with deep heartache that the Elder was fading away physically. And the Elder had a lot of grief. One of them was the ban on visiting the Shamordino monastery for confession of the sisters, and he cared very much about them, about the nuns of the monastery created by Father Ambrose. But the authorities lifted this ban. The Shamordino nuns again began to confess to Fr. Anatoly and Fr. Joseph. Father Anatoly continued to closely look after novice Pavel. He saw with joy that he was following a difficult but true path. Pavel Ivanovich, already a novice, became a doer of the Jesus Prayer, as he later told Fr. Nikon, that during Matins there were three, and sometimes four thousand prayers. “This is incomprehensible,” Fr. marveled. Nikon, how is it possible to say 1000 Jesus prayers in an hour?” “It’s incomprehensible now, then it will be understandable,” Fr. answered him. Barsanuphius. On March 26, 1893, Pavel Ivanovich was tonsured into the ryassophore - this was during Great Lent, on Great Friday, probably by the rector of the monastery, Schema-Archimandrite Isaac, who was then already more than eighty years old. And he favored the novice Pavel, when he met him, he asked him what was going on and how he was doing. This stern-looking old man had the kindest soul and great humility. For many years he was in obedience to Elder Ambrose and, when he came to him for confession, he modestly stood among the brethren and waited for his turn. He did this even when he was already the abbot of the monastery. According to Metropolitan Tryphon, who laid the foundation for his monasticism in Optina, Fr. Isaac “in his personal life, in food, in clothing, and in the decoration of his cell, observed the complete simplicity of the ancient ascetics.” By the right of the abbot, he could reprimand a severely guilty monk, but if he turned out to be wrong, then, without thinking twice, he knelt before him and asked for forgiveness. The first word about. Anatoly was strict towards the monk Paul. He said this: – Now a new life begins for you. And whatever direction and mood the monk gives himself during the first time after being tonsured as a ryasophore will remain with him until his grave. And the novice Pavel, already dressed in a cassock and hood, formed these words in his heart. One day Fr. Anatoly told him: – Do you know that in our Skete, by the great mercy of God, we have our own Fool for Christ’s sake, Andrew? - Yes, we have such a person who, whether in the body or not in the body - God knows - was caught up into the heavenly abodes during his lifetime. This is our Turka. I will bless him to come to your cell, and you question him thoroughly and write down from his words what you learn from him. Just keep it all a secret until he dies. It was Monk Nikolai, silent and lonely - he avoided everyone, never visited anyone, sat in his own room, and only came out into the air at night. A dark-skinned, oriental-type man, with an accent with a non-Russian tint. Later, as a hieromonk, Fr. Barsanuphius told about this visit to the monk Nicholas to some person, and he conveyed this story to S. A. Nilus. This is how Nilus wrote it down: “And on this summer moonlit night, this servant of God came to me out of obedience,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, - and in his broken Russian language he told me his story about those heavenly abodes that were shown to him by his Guardian Angel... What a wondrous legend it was!... I could only from time to time, in a voice interrupted by indescribable excitement, ask him to continue, not to be silent... But he had already finished and only added with a bright, blissful smile: “Well, what else do you want to know, what else?” you are trying to find out... The time will come - you will see for yourself. What else can I tell you, and how can I say it... After all, in human language there are no words that could convey what is happening there... After all, the earth doesn’t even have the same colors that I saw there. How can I convey all this to you... Well, listen to what I tell you: you know what good music is... I heard it, I just heard it, it sounds in my ears, it is sung in my heart - I still continue to hear it... But you haven’t heard it. How, in what words can I tell you about it, so that you, in my words, can hear it and enjoy it with me... After all, you can’t...” “Turk” was about sixty-five years old. Lately he had been suffering greatly from some illness, and had not received treatment or complained. On August 18, 1893, he died and was buried in the skete cemetery. And then Fr. Anatoly told the novice Pavel something that no one in the monastery except Elder Ambrose and him, Fr. Anatoly, I didn’t know. “Don’t think,” he said, “that it was a mere mortal; a mere mortal is not given such mercy from God.” Our Nicholas was a martyr for the name of Christ... When they washed him after his death, his whole body turned out to be striped with terrible scars. He was skinned with belts in his homeland, Turkey, for his conversion to Christ, forcing him to renounce Him. It is not known how he escaped and got to Russia, but he ended up in Shamordin with Elder Ambrose... And he sent him here, to Skete. The ways of the Lord are mysterious! Pavel Ivanovich once got into a conversation with the cassock monk Dimitri, whose last name in the world was Bolotov (he was a representative of an old noble family). And then I included his story in my Cell Notes. Father Dimitri told him about a wondrous dream he had seen in childhood: “An angel takes me and takes me with him to heaven. Rising with the Angel, I see our village, house, garden and how they become smaller as we rise higher and higher. “Where are you taking me?” - I ask the Angel, and he answers: “To God!” But then we flew to some great oak tree that was flying in the air, and stopped near it to rest. At this time, I see some majestic-looking old man walking through the air towards the oak tree. I ask Angel: “Who is this?” - “This is God!” – the Angel answers, and I woke up. Subsequently, when I arrived in Optina Pustyn, where the great elder Hieroschemamonk Ambrose then lived, I decided to ask for his holy blessing to take monastic vows in the monastery. I remember entering the Elder’s cell and seeing him reclining on his bed. At that very moment I remembered a dream I had seen in childhood and some secret voice told me: “This is the very oak tree that you saw in your dream then.” “That’s how it turns out,” added Fr. Dimitri. “Our monastery is a kind of station from earth to heaven. The deceased Elder was truly the church of God, in which the Holy Spirit dwelt. With the blessing of this elder, I entered the Skete. Thus my childhood dream came true.” I’ll add on my own behalf,” continued Fr. Barsanuphius, - what about. Dimitri was a wonderful artist in the world and a friend at the Academy with the famous portrait painter Kramskoy. He still paints many portraits, which people commission him to paint in absentia, from photographic cards. He also paints icons. Then Fr. Dimitri told Fr. a few more dreams. Pavla (now they began to call Pavel Ivanovich that way). And oh. Boris, the gatekeeper-monk, an old man of about eighty, told Fr. Barsanuphius about what happened to him. “He recently told me,” Fr. wrote in “Cell Notes.” Barsanuphius, - that at night many demons in the form of wanderers came to the door of his cell and knocked on him... His cell overlooks the forest surrounding the Skete, and the door opens into the courtyard of the Skete. Since the gates are locked at night, it follows that no outsider can enter the Skete at night... The demons approached him terribly and knocked on the gates, asking him to open them... Father Boris drove away demons with the Jesus Prayer.” September 21, 1893 Fr. Barsanuphius wrote: “The goalkeeper of our Skete, Elder Schemamonk Boris, having served Compline yesterday, came to his cell and suddenly fell ill - his legs were paralyzed. Therefore, he could no longer be at the vigil; I wasn’t at mass today. He told me that the time had come to move on to eternal life. I saw, as if it were yesterday night, that he was approaching some great river, which he crossed at dawn. The crossing happened so quickly that he did not notice. Coming out to the other side of the river, he sees a church of gigantic size, occupying a space of about the size of a tithe and of the same great height... The church was beautiful, similar to the cathedral of the Kaluga Monastery of St. Lawrence. When he entered the church, at that time there was a mass going on there, which was celebrated by Archbishop Gregory, the former Bishop of Kaluga, who died 30 years ago 13. The interior of the church was of unspeakable beauty. When Fr. Boris wanted to leave the church, but did not find the door and remained in it. At this time he woke up." Fr. spent five years in illness. Boris labored in prayer and patience, and when he died, this is what the hermits wrote on his monument: “In severe labors, incessant prayer, kind, bright and cheerful, he rested peacefully in deep old age”... That same fall, Elder Anatoly’s strength began to finally dry out. In September, he could still visit Shamordino and console the sisters who remained orphans for the last time, he even served several times, but in October he almost never got up from his chair. Once he walked through the forest near Skete, saw the monastery and said: “Farewell, Optina!” Then, looking at the tall pines: “How many times have you listened to the ringing, how many times have you seen the great elders passing here near you!” Elder Anatoly loved nature, God’s creation. He once said that he did not quite understand the ascetics who in ancient times secluded themselves in caves so that they did not see the white light for many years... “Of course, everyone is saved in their own way, but I sympathize more with those saints who loved nature, such as St. Sergius, Savva of Zvenigorod, St. Anthony and Theodosius - they chose the most beautiful places for their abodes because nature elevates a person to God.” Optina Pustyn was located in an unusually beautiful place: a centuries-old forest, a river, and meadows - everything tuned the soul, listening to itself, to a peaceful, prayerful mood. From his youth, Father Barsanuphius loved nature, the silence of the forest, moonlit nights... In his “Cell Notes” it is said: “Life among nature for those who have acquired love and the skill to peer into their surroundings is beneficial in that it saves them from petty one-sided thinking, imparts breadth, integrity and depth to their views.” On December 15, 1893, Elder Anatoly secretly accepted the schema. He no longer got up from his chair and suffered greatly. However, he did not cease to allow his spiritual children to come to him, among whom were laymen and monks from different monasteries. He received telegrams from Fr. John of Kronstadt and from Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich (a poet who wrote under the pseudonym “K.R.”), who once, during the time of Elder Ambrose, was in Optina and talked at the same time with Fr. Anatoly. In recent days, the sisters of the Shamordino monastery cared for him diligently. They shed many tears, seeing how their spiritual father was fading away. “Here we are praying,” they told him, “for your health, but the Lord does not hear us.” “Is it possible,” he answered, “that the sun does not illuminate, the water does not refresh, the fire does not warm? And the Lord is a thousand times brighter than any sun. He hears your prayer, but He does what pleases Him.” They brought to him the miraculous icons of the Mother of God - the Akhtyrskaya from Kozelsk, the Kazan from Shamordin and also the Kazan Optina. Already in oblivion, he heard them say that it was necessary to read the waste, and he himself created the beginning, proclaiming: “Blessed is our God!” It was January 25, 1894 - on this day he died. One of those caring for Fr. Anatoly handed over the nuns to Fr. Barsanuphius his words concerning him. “Do you know, mother,” he said, “what kind of person we have in Skete?” I could be completely of the same mind with him... After Fr. Anatoly became the head of the hermitage. Joseph, who also became the spiritual father of the cassock monk Pavel, who continued to undergo cell obedience under Fr. Nectarias. He kept his “Cell Notes”, which in the summer of 1893 became, as it were, preparatory material for an article on monasticism, which the editor of the magazine “Soulful Reading” asked him to write. (“The vastness and seriousness of the topic frightens me,” noted Father Barsanuphius, “and most importantly, my own lack of preparation, neither theoretical nor experimental.”) It is not known whether he wrote such an article, and if he wrote and published it in a magazine, then, most likely, without signing his name - it is difficult to find. And the poems in this magazine about. Barsanuphius published while still in the world, and continued this in Optina. The novice Paul had many plans of a literary and spiritual nature. He even wrote down in a book what he would like to perform over time. The result was large lists with dozens and dozens of items. Here, for example, was the nature of the entries: “Write your own autobiography”; “Poem-song in honor of the Most Holy Theotokos Mary” (this was performed); “A Complete Collection of Questions and Answers on the Jesus Prayer”; “Brief biographies of Orthodox ascetics of the 18th and 19th centuries, even to the present day”; “A collection of spiritual poems selected from the best Russian writers. You can also cite excerpts from prose”; “Characters from the life of modern Optina elders”; “Description of miraculous icons in Russia”; “Letters about monastic life and eldership in Optina”; “To compose the “Monk’s Lament” - in imitation of “My Lament”, compiled by Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov. It’s better to write in verse (terza)”; “To compile something like a monastic Catechism for monks”; “The Life of Schemamonk Nicholas. His vision” (this is about a Turkish monk) - that’s how strong Fr. Barsanuphius's attraction to literary work. And yet he left all this for the sake of pure monastic work, only he occasionally wrote poetry. He could not leave the death of his spiritual father without a poetic response and wrote the poem “In memory of the elder of Optina Hermitage, Hieroschemamonk Fr. Anatoly (Successor and bearer of the elder covenants after the death of the elder hieroschemamonk Father Ambrose.) † January 25, 1894.” This is a simple and sincere piece: He served like a heavenly angel, Full of faith, before the Lord of hosts, Like a lamp shining among us! We all remember the solemn hour, When they clothed him in the schema, And with tears they laid him in the coffin, And they prayerfully honored his memory, Having sung a funeral song over him, - A holy and sad farewell song: “Rest, O Christ, the soul of Your servant With the saints, where there is no sighing, No sickness, no voice of lamentation, But one reigns eternal All-blessed life endless!” Oh, beloved, dear Abba! We believe that with a pure soul, Having followed the right path of truth, You stand before the Lord of glory In the eternal light of heavenly abodes In the face of His faithful servants! We, exhausted by mental struggle, Remember the saint in prayer. The elders always recommended and blessed the new monks the spiritual creations (along with the writings of St. Ignatius, Abba Dorotheos, John Climacus) of Bishop Theophan, the recluse of Vyshensky. It was based on the writings of the holy fathers and was close in spirit to the teachings of Elder Paisius Velichkovsky, and therefore to the Optina elders. He led a silent ascetic life and deeply knew Orthodox asceticism in all its manifestations. The books compiled from his letters to his spiritual children had a direct teaching title: “The Path to Salvation”, “What is Spiritual Life”... Father Barsanuphius subsequently blessed these books to his disciple, the future elder Fr. Nikon. And at the time when he himself was just beginning his monastic life, he made numerous extracts from the works of Bishop Theophan, in particular from letters published in “Soulful Reading.” He included some such passages in his “Cell Notes,” such as the passage “On Obedience,” recorded in June 1894. And suddenly news comes to Optina that on the day of the Epiphany, January 6, 1894, the reclusive saint Theophan died in the Vyshensky Monastery. Fr. was still alive. Anatoly is sick, dying, he was very sad about the death of the famous spiritual mentor of monks and laity. Father Barsanuphius, at that time still the monk Paul, wrote a large poem in four parts, one might say, a short poem. It was published in the November issue of “Soulful Reading” for 1894. Remembering at the very beginning of the poem about the death of Elder Ambrose, the author exclaims: Two years have passed - and a new loss! And again Russia is in grief! And the news rushes through it from end to end, That another fighter has left us; Another spiritual giant has died, Pillar of faith, herald of truth and zealot, Beloved father, mentor and teacher, - The great Theophanes left us, What consolation and joy was to us! In the same year, another grave loss for the Optina residents - on August 22, the rector of the monastery, Schema-Archimandrite Isaac, died after being ill all summer. It was stuffy for him in his cell, and he asked to put his bed in the courtyard of the abbot's building under a tree. “It’s scary to die,” he said. - How will I appear before the face of God and at His Last Judgment? But you can’t escape this...” Here, under the tree, the monastery brethren said goodbye to him, and the laity came. “How to live, Father, after you?” - they asked him. “Live according to your conscience and ask for help from the Queen of Heaven, and everything will be fine,” he answered. On August 20, he suffered a second stroke and lost the ability to speak. On the 22nd he died. He was eighty-five years old. After him, Archimandrite Dosifei became rector of Optina, who died five and a half years later. While still in the world, Fr. Barsanuphius understood from many examples that if carnal (down-to-earth in spirit) people do not understand people of a high spiritual dispensation, then these latter understand everyone - those like themselves, those carnal, and those furthest from any spirituality. In “Cell Notes,” Father Barsanuphius tried to express it this way: “A spiritual person immediately understands a spiritual person, as well as a spiritual and carnal person. Just as a highly educated person understands an equally educated person, as well as a poorly educated and ignorant person, no matter how much the latter manage to hide the inadequacy of their education and their ignorance, but sometimes they reveal themselves to him in one word, and he laughs at them. Others read quite a lot, but without a guide, without a definite system, as, for example, in educational institutions, and from this much reading they were more damaged in mind and heart. A properly educated person will also appreciate such a know-it-all the first time. Likewise, a spiritual person understands and gives a proper assessment to a person who has theoretically studied Christianity, but without spiritual comprehension of its truths.” A spiritual person... This is not always a monk. Here he remembers Fr. Barsanuphius about the visit of the writer Yevgeny Poselyanin to Optina Pustyn in the mid-1890s: “He was with us in the Skete for a meal... I sat in the corner near the portrait of Fr. Paisiy Velichkovsky, and he sat in the first place next to the hieromonk. I fell in love with him. Don’t think that I’m talking about physical beauty, no, I’m talking about the inner beauty that came out in the expression of his face and even in all his movements. It was summer, the windows in the dining room were open. He sat just in front of the window, with his back to the reader. I remember that the second or third course was already served, he ate two or three spoons and, putting the spoon down, turned his gaze out the window, and I felt that he was looking at the church, at the wonderful pine trees, then raising his eyes even higher into the blue skies with the thought of the great and infinite God. “Lord,” I think, “what must the inner world of this person be like?!” And until now I already knew him from his works, and then I just fell in love with him. I asked Fr. Joseph's blessing to introduce me to him. Father Joseph sent him to my cell, and there we had a conversation.” In this regard, the note by Fr. Barsanuphius in “Cell Notes”: “Throughout my entire life, I noticed in myself that I always liked only those people and those conversations that awakened in my heart the highest ideal aspirations, which were based on faith in the immortality of the human soul, faith in truth, goodness and beauty. And on the contrary, I have always been antipathetic to people whose thoughts and conversations revolved around the ordering of life alone: ​​temporary and external. This desire for the highest, ideal in life was expressed in my soul by a penchant for everything mysterious, mystical in life.” It was then, while still a cassophore monk, that Fr. Barsanuphius about real beauty in art (he always had in mind literature, in which he looked for something close to his spirit). The books and numerous articles of Evgeniy Poselyanin, then in the prime of his talent, were read even along with the works of ascetic writers. In the note “Art” Fr. Barsanuphius wrote: “The spirit, knowing God, naturally comprehends the beauty of God and seeks to enjoy it alone... The beauty of God to contemplate, taste and enjoy it is the need of the spirit, it is its life, and the life of heaven... This is where these guests come from, sweet, detached from all sensual feelings, elevating the soul to spirit and spiritualizing it! I note that of the works of art, I classify in this class only those whose content is the beauty of invisible divine things, and not those that, although beautiful, usually represent the same spiritual, physical life, or those useful things that make up the always-present environment of that life. The soul, led by the spirit, does not only seek beauty, but expression in beautiful forms of the invisible beautiful world.” If a spiritual, physical person sees the presence of God, the Creator in earthly nature, then most often during times of great upheaval - whether an unheard-of thunderstorm breaks out, a hurricane sweeping away everything, whether the earth shakes and cracks - then he forgets everything earthly and grabs his head: “Lord, protect!” And when everything is quiet, when he is warm and comfortable, he walks through the flowers without noticing them, pours sewage into the water, litters the grove and the bright lake with garbage... But in contrast to this, the attitude of a monk, a schema-monk, seemingly so deep in his heart, in his soul, where he is looking for God, that he does not see anything around... “Once,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, when I was still a novice, I left my silent cell on a warm July night. There was no moon, but countless stars shone in the dark sky. I loved to walk along the secluded alley of the hermitage garden at this late time, so that, being left alone with God, I could break away from everything worldly. I approach a large pond and suddenly see one of our schema-monks, Father Gennady, who has spent 62 years in the Skete. In recent years, he had not stepped outside the monastery gates at all and forgot about the world. He stands motionless and looks at the water. I called out to him quietly so as not to frighten him with my sudden appearance. I approached him: - What are you doing here, father? “But I’m looking at the water,” he answers. – Don’t you see anything in her? – Father Gennady asked in turn. “And I,” said the schema-monk, “contemplate the wisdom of God.” I’m semi-literate, I just learned to read the Psalter, and the Lord proclaims His will to me, a wretched one. And I am amazed that often learned people do not know the simplest things about faith. You see, all this starry sky is reflected in the water, and so the Lord dwells in a pure heart, - therefore, what bliss should be felt by souls who have acquired purity... Blessed are those who are pure in heart, for they will see God. So, no matter how hard I try, I cannot achieve spiritual purity, although I know how important it is. Do you understand what purity of heart is? – asked Father Gennady. “I don’t know from experience, since I don’t have it,” I answered, “but I think that purity lies in complete impartiality: whoever has neither envy, nor anger, nor any other passion, has a pure heart.” “No, that’s not enough,” the schema-monk objected, “it’s not enough just to rinse the vessel, you need to fill it with more water, - after the passions are eradicated, you need to replace them with opposite virtues, without this the heart will not be cleansed.” – Do you hope to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, Father Gennady? “I hope I’ll be there,” he said confidently. – So how do you yourself say that you do not have spiritual purity, but only “those who are pure in heart... will see God” (Matthew 5:8)? – What about God’s mercy? It will make up for everything that is missing. It is limitless, and I have firm hope that the Lord will not reject me either,” said the schema-monk, and in his words one could hear deep faith and sincere hope in God’s mercy.” After listening to such a conversation, you will forget what a “semi-literate” person is saying, who has only learned to read the Psalter. What profound lessons such people can teach! There were quite a few of them in Optina, in Skete. They sat quietly in their cells... But sometimes their spiritual life suddenly opened up - and what indescribable beauty was seen in it! Father Barsanuphius remembered many things during his life and told them for the edification of his spiritual children. “In our Skete,” he once said, “there lived one ascetic, Father Ignatius, a very 95-year-old old man. He led a very high life, but he was so good at hiding it from people that very few knew. When Father Anatoly died, I sometimes visited Father Ignatius and left him joyful and full of new strength. Once I asked him (and when I was the original, I sometimes asked downright ridiculous questions) if he had ever seen heaven. – What do you need to know? - said the Elder. – Yes, I would very much like to, since paradise appears in different forms. - Well, I’ll tell you for your love... But not me, but one ascetic (he said his name). You see how it was... One day he fell asleep and saw a sea of ​​an unusually beautiful color, which he had never seen before. On the other side rises a magnificent city, where palaces and churches stand in rows. “I enter the city,” he says, “and I cannot be amazed at its indescribable beauty. These magnificent palaces are inhabited, and their inhabitants are so beautiful and filled with great joy. They met me, and I walked with them throughout the city, all the time marveling at its greatness. I began to ask to be left there completely, but they objected to me that now it was still impossible, but a home was prepared for me here too. I asked to see it. They showed me a palace of extraordinary beauty, I can’t even describe what it was like. “This is your eternal home,” they told me, “but for now, live in the Optina Hermitage Skete, in your cell,” and I cried with emotion, contemplating my future home. “Lord, Lord, I am not worthy of this, why are You so infinitely merciful? I would like at least in some corner of this wondrous city...” - and woke up. I open my eyes, I see: the whole pillow is wet with tears, and again I am in my cell, the same image of the Kazan Mother of God hanging in the corner, the same poor furnishings, the chair on which you are sitting and from which the washcloth is visible - everything is the same... And, remembering what I saw in a dream, I glorified the goodness of God, which has mercy and saves us sinners...” May the Lord vouchsafe all of us to enter His Kingdom. Amen". Finished the story about. Ignatius, and the novice Pavel sees in the corner the image of the Kazan Mother of God, and this chair with the bast that has come out of it has long been familiar to him... So, when talking about himself, the Elder, out of great humility, covered himself with the name of a certain “ascetic”, speaking on his behalf... Well, this is a common thing for monks. Book examples of asceticism in the soul of Fr. Barsanuphius merged with the living... He constantly read the Lives and then always said and preached that for a monk this is the most useful type of reading. When the ascetics lived - in ancient times or more recently - it mattered little, since Orthodox ascetics of all times are contemporary with each other. If, for example, by some miracle, the Venerable Anthony the Great had met the Venerable Elder Ambrose of Optina - they would have had common topics of conversation, equally loved by both, similar thoughts and heartfelt aspirations... They are brothers in Christ Jesus. And so he blessed Fr. Joseph to the ryassophore monk Pavel to read the following book: “The Life and Deeds in God of the Elder Schemamonk Zosima, who died of blessed memory.” This book, published in two editions in Moscow (in 1860 and 1889), tells about two ascetics - Schemamonk Zosima, the founder of the women's Trinity-Odigitrievskaya Hermitage near Moscow, and about his spiritual father, a co-conspirator who shared with him all the vicissitudes of a difficult life in the forests, the elder Basilisk. The first died in October 1838, and the second a few years earlier, in the forest near the Siberian city of Turinsk. This was the life of people so devoted to God, who endured such difficulties for the sake of Christ, that each episode of the story shook the reader’s heart, especially since the book was written in beautiful language, revealing the hand of a spiritually sensitive writer. Father Zosima, who served in the guard in his youth, began his monasticism in the same place as the founders of the Optina Skete, Fathers Moses and Anthony - in the Bryansk forests among the hermits. There he met Father Basilisk. Father Zosima was an educated man, and Elder Basilisk was a “simple”, but their friendship lasted until the end of their lives. Zosima took spiritual books to read, read them, made extracts, and then beautifully bound and returned the book to the owner... However, this life must be read (especially since it is accessible, since it was republished in 1994) 14. From this life of Fr. Barsanuphius at that time, that is, in the mid-1890s, made several extracts in his “Cell Notes” on the words “Love of God,” “Thought,” and “Desert.” In the last passage there is a description of the “inner desert,” that is, a lonely forest monastic life, completely similar in every way to the life of the ancient Egyptian monks: “I hope that the inner desert leads to success much more, since there is no longer any consolation in it, which is available in this world, which the soul could vainly occupy itself with, for excessive handicraft is indecent, since one also goes for there is no one to have fun with, no one to rant with. No one will visit, not have a meal of consoling and consoling dishes, except your one disciple and (wanderer) severe and Lenten satiation; horror from demons; boredom and melancholy from the solitude of the everlasting and inexorable. Mortal fear, constantly entering the soul, fear of bestial attacks, poisonous reptiles by wounding and killing, and from evil people by murder, poverty in everyone, extreme poverty, lack everywhere, a painful hut, seeking nothing for itself except small books, in which to find all the joy and consolation. He doesn’t hear about his friends’ whereabouts, he doesn’t know about his relatives’ health, he doesn’t know about his loved ones. And all the pleasant things that had happened to him were removed from him; with one dead word peace was made for him and he for the world. There is no reason to rejoice at anything temporary, or else the mind would be darkened, flying away from God: but ever and anon, all thought, mind, memory and all feeling and the whole person is immersed in God, being guided towards Him through a single reflection and viewing of His wisdom, majesty and Providence in His creation. And like two books to have open in front of you at all times, heaven and earth, looking into you and wondering how great and wise our God is! It was scary to read how the two elders, having arrived in Siberia, which was unknown to them, went into the taiga for the sake of deserted solitude, dug themselves a dugout and met here the most severely fierce winter, which almost destroyed them... With what labor, and how complacently, moreover, in the spring they left the taiga at random, dying of hunger, falling through the ice... And the Lord protected them, they still did a lot of good and many hard ones experienced temptations... On Easter 1898, Schemamonk Boris, with whom Fr. Barsanuphius became closer. He was one of the “semi-literate”, a peasant, who lived in the world under serfdom. “The old order was better,” he used to say, “although the master suffered a lot.” “You see, Father Boris,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, it hit you, but you say that it was better. - It was my own fault. It happened that I would go to the Kherson province. They will inform the police, start searching and return you in a staged manner. Well, of course, I’m going out. They will be severely punished. I'll get better, and I'll leave again. He left, of course, to pray. He visited holy monasteries, sought Christ and found Him. “Now it’s worse,” continued Father Boris, “because there is no power, everyone lives on his own.” “Well, you can’t say the same about Optina,” I objected. - Of course, if everyone lived in the monastery according to their own will, then there would be complete destruction. “Father Boris,” Fr. continues his story. Barsanuphius was unusually humble and considered himself to be the latter. He died on Easter 1898. I came to him when he was in the hospital. Apparently, the Lord revealed to him the time of his death. “Pray for me and ask the brethren to pray on Sunday and Monday.” “Yes, all the brethren are praying for you, Father Boris, and I, of course, am obliged to always pray for you, and not just on Sunday and Monday...” Father Boris, as if not hearing me, repeated: “Let them pray for me on Sunday and Monday.” I didn't understand him. On Tuesday morning I went to visit the patient and found out that he had already died. And so the words of the Elder were justified - indeed, only on Monday and Sunday it was possible to pray for him as if he were alive, and on Tuesday for the deceased. At the hour of the death of Father Boris, one Shamordino schema-nice had a vision. Walking towards Matins, she saw a glow in the east, just in the direction of Optina Pustyn. Peering into the glow, she saw a soul quickly ascending to heaven, like St. Anthony the Great saw the ascending soul of the hermit Amon. The schema-nice told about her vision, but they did not believe her. Soon a messenger from Optina arrived to Mother Abbess Euphrosyne with the news that Schemamonk Boris had died at 2 o’clock in the morning. The vision happened just at this time. Here's another story about. Barsanuphius about the death of the monk, which occurred at about the same time. “We had a hieroschemamonk, Father Mikhail, in the Skete,” he said. - He was saying a prayer. I know this, although I did not enter into any relationship with him. When he died and everyone left his cell, I turned to him and said: “Father, father! Pray for me!” And suddenly I see: he smiled! At first I was scared, and then nothing. And it was such a smile that I will never forget... He read (before his death) the Psalter; I went up to the lectern, took the Psalter and unfolded it to where he had the bookmark, that is, where he ended. The last psalm in his life he read was the 117th. It says: “Open the gates of righteousness for me; when we enter, let us confess to the Lord” (Ps. 118:19)... This is how a soul that has found inner prayer can speak.” With the blessing of Elder Joseph, the cassophore monk Pavel began to write, or rather, to continue, “The Chronicle of the Skete in the name of St. John the Baptist and the Baptist of the Lord, located at the Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage” - he carefully wrote this name on the title page of the next book, adding the date: January 1900 Saturday. (He kept the Chronicle until April 1902). At the same time, he began to fulfill the position of clerk under Fr. Joseph, and also, with his blessing, to collect material for the biographies of Fr. Anatolia, o. Macarius and Fr. Ambrose. These were materials from the Optina Pustyn archive, letters, stories of monks and nuns. A huge amount of work has been done. Materials about Elder Ambrose Fr. Joseph handed it over to Archimandrite Agapit, who lived in the monastery in retirement (he was 57 years old at that time and was ill). Later, materials about Elder Macarius will also be given to him. The book about Elder Anatoly will subsequently be edited by Archpriest Sergius Chetverikov, who wrote a lot about Optina. In this regard, the hand of Fr. Barsanuphius made the following entries in the Chronicle: “1900, March 10. Friday. Fr. Archimandrite Agapit compiled a complete biography of the elder hieroschemamonk Fr. Ambrose. The manuscript was approved by His Grace Macarius, Bishop of Kaluga and Borovsk. The question of when and with what funds the manuscript will be printed has not yet been finally resolved. The material for compiling this biography was mainly the tales about the life of the Elder of the monastery brethren and Skete, which were collected and edited by one of the brethren of Skete. 1900, September 10. Sunday. The book was received at the Skete: The Life Description of the late Elder Hieroschemamonk Ambrose in Bose with his portrait and facsimile. The book was printed in Moscow at the Snegireva printing house in the amount of 1,900 copies. It was released from censorship on August 27 this year and was intended for the benefit of Optina Pustyn. The book represents a complete biography of the Elder, since it contains information that appeared in print, as well as handwritten and oral information about the life of the Elder. The book was compiled by Archimandrite Agapit, who lives in retirement in the Skete.” This book also used articles about Elder Ambrose Evgeniy Poselyanin, who visited Fr. for the second time. Barsanuphius just when he finished collecting materials for the biography of Elder Ambrose. Here is an entry from the Chronicle of Skete: “1900, July 16. Saturday. Today the famous spiritual writer Evgeny Nikolaevich Pogozhev, who writes under the pseudonym “Poselyanin”, visited Optina Pustyn. I visited the head of the Skete and the cassock monk Fr. Pavel. Today I went to Moscow. E.N. Pogozhev was one of the most devoted spiritual sons of the elder Fr. Ambrose and published several articles about the life of the Elder in “Soulful Reading” for the years 1892–1895. In addition, Mr. Pogozhev published a separate brochure in 1898, in which he described Optina Pustyn from the best side in terms of both its external and especially its internal improvement.” Seeing such spiritual growth and such useful activity of the monk, the enemy of the human race began to do everything possible to drive him into despair and expel him from the Skete. He restored some of the brothers to him. Father Barsanuphius did not give in, he behaved humbly, but it cost him a lot... Father Nikon wrote in his diary after a conversation with Fr. Barsanuphius (February 11, 1910): “Now Father told me about how he endured sorrows when he was a novice. Father endured sorrows, reasoning like this: “I must be worthy of all these sorrows. This means that they are all needed to wash away pride and other passions from me.” Father endured sorrows, without telling anyone about them, without complaining, trying not to become embittered at the offenders. Not only does one have to endure insults, one must also take care not to become embittered towards the offender. Sometimes,” he said another time, “it happened that it was just time to leave the Skete, but I decided it was better to die than to leave.” I had firm hope in God and His Most Pure Mother. I used to stand in front of this Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, pray, and I would feel better. After all, this icon is dear to me. Some miracle also happened to her, namely: when I ordered this icon to be painted by one nun, she painted it in one day. She told me then: “The hand itself writes, I’m surprised how I could write so quickly.” So, you will come to your cell, look at the face of the Mother of God and it will seem that this is how She, the Lady, looks at you - you will pray, and it will become easier. And who then could have thought that this despised novice in a few years would be the abbot of the Skete and an elder! Believe me, I myself had nothing like this in my mind, and there were other obstacles, for example, eye disease and others. You see, it was impossible to assume this, but since such is the will of God, then it happened so, no obstacles prevented it. It is not in vain that the psalm says: “Do not put your trust in princes, in the sons of men, for in them there is no salvation” (Ps. 145:3), but in God. Only this firmness and faith helped me endure all this. But despite all these sorrows, the Lord inexpressibly consoled me... I loved reading the holy fathers, and especially the Psalter, and what depths were sometimes revealed to me... So I tell you: always trust only in God, and never in man. Then all evil will fall away from you like a cut off branch.” His ill-wishers even managed to turn Elder Joseph, his spiritual father, against him. September 27, 1909 Fr. Nikon wrote: “Father spoke about the sorrows that he endured as a novice... The monastery leader, Fr. Joseph, being provoked by the actions of the devil by others. Knowing this, I asked Father: “How did you feel about Fr. Joseph? “I treated him like my boss, I unconditionally took his blessing for everything, for example, to leave the Skete and so on. I just stopped revealing my thoughts to him, and began to reveal them to Fr. Benedict, and he decided to do this only with the blessing of Father Joseph. I believed that through him, as through one placed in this place, grace acts.” But then Elder Joseph and the abbot of the monastery, Abbot Xenophon, presented the ryassophore novice Pavel for tonsure. Kaluga Bishop Veniamin wrote in his response: “The said novice Pavel Ivanovich Plikhankov is personally known to me for his religious disposition and desire for an ascetic life from the time when I was a priest in Kazan, and he was a colonel.” Vladyka Veniamin, a native of Kazan, graduated from the Theological Seminary there. In 1877 he was ordained a priest, and while studying at the Kazan Theological Academy (1892–1896) he was tonsured a monk. But this answer could only be received after Bishop Veniamin accepted the department, and this was July 10, 1901. In one of the Optina manuscripts 16 it is noted that the novice Pavel in December 1900 “due to illness was tonsured into the mantle.” Father Barsanuphius recalls this: “I was preparing for tonsure. Suddenly I became dangerously ill. Everyone despaired of my recovery and decided to take the tonsure as soon as possible. I remember leaning over me and asking: “What name do you want to get?” I could hardly answer: “It doesn’t matter.” I hear that during tonsure they call me “Barsanuphius.” Consequently, the great saint did not leave me here either, but wanted to be my patron.” The tonsure due to illness was private and secret. Father Barsanuphius received a new name, but he was not given a mantle - it will be given to him at the “opening of the mantle” in December 1902, when he will be announced tonsured before the Church during the Liturgy. And then came this very important Fr. in spiritual life. Barsanuphius 1902. He is no longer young, his health is very upset, so he tries to keep himself ready (as much as possible for a person) to appear before the Lord. It is difficult to read, especially by fire, in the evenings - severe pain in the eyes. He also has moments of sadness, which come out more in poetry. Here's "Spring": Still covered with a white veil Fields; the forest stands silently In his silver attire. But creative force blows everywhere - in spring, And the vault of heaven is brighter and lighter, And the gaze drowns in its vastness. When, oh Lord, there is sickness in my soul, Weak, sad and mourning The life-giving Holy Spirit will blow A jubilant, spiritual spring?.. This is what “spring” is for a monk. This is how he reads the book of nature. Autumn is read in the same way: Like fallen leaves from trees... This earthly life is sad! Region of eternal bliss, The kingdom of non-evening beauty. In this sadness—sorrow for the Lord—the soul does not weaken, but, on the contrary, becomes stronger and stronger. When, with the permission of the diocesan authorities, the day was appointed for the opening of the mantle of Fr. Paul and the approval of his new name Barsanuphius, he experienced some kind of unexpected struggle: should he remain secret in his tonsure? Should we abandon this explicit detection? There is an interesting entry about. Nikon, made on December 29, 1909: “Father told me a dream before the opening of tonsure and ordination to the ranks of hierodeacon and hieromonk. About how Father saw himself on a high tower standing in the middle of a noisy city, and how a giant came to him, whom Father defeated. When Father told me this dream, he ordered me to sit on the sofa, and he himself stood near the stove. Having told it in detail, Father told me that he had told it to many; everyone recognizes it as a spiritual dream, but cannot interpret it. So now Father turned to me with a question: how do I understand him and what will I say? Out of obedience, I began to say the first thing that came to mind, and it turned out that I said exactly what Father himself thought about it. “I ask you with faith, you say, and the Lord enlightens my mind too, now something has been revealed to me that I had not previously imagined...” I will also note that this dream came to Father after Father was in a strong and difficult struggle: to refuse tonsure and dedication or not, and, not knowing what to decide, stood in front of his Kazan Icon of the Mother of God and turned to Her with a prayer to help him in this struggle. And suddenly the struggle over prayer subsided, the thought inclined to accept tonsure as obedience, silence settled in the heart, and Father lay down peacefully for a night's rest and sleep. And he sees just this dream.” Soon the events recorded in the “Chronicle of the Skete” took place: “1902, December 13. In the monastery Kazan Cathedral, Fr. The hegumen tonsured several monastic brethren into the mantle and from the hermits put on the mantle of Fr. Pavel (Plikhankov) with the name Barsanuphius. 1902, December 29. On this date, the skete monk Fr., who left for Kaluga on December 26, was ordained to the rank of hierodeacon. Barsanuphius. 1903, January 1. New Year. On this date in Kaluga the skete hierodeacon Fr. Barsanuphius was ordained to the rank of hieromonk.” All this happened so quickly that Fr. Before Barsanuphius even had time to come to his senses, he became a hieromonk... Then he began to lament and worry - how could he serve in a church under fire, when there was such pain in his eyes? Will he be able to serve? He expressed his concern to Abbot Xenophon, who calmly listened to him and said: That's all. Here Fr. began. Barsanuphius serves, reads the Gospel by candlelight, and does not hurt his eyes. The Lord took away this weakness from him. This summer, on July 19, Russia experienced a great and joyful event - the glorification of the relics of St. Seraphim, the Wonderworker of Sarov, which was attended by Tsar Nikolai Alexandrovich with his entire House. Then a great many miracles took place in Sarov through prayers to the Monk Seraphim, from the healing water of his source. Many articles were published about this celebration, several dozen books were published - large and small - about the life and miracles of the newly glorified Elder, but long loved and revered by the Russian people. Father Barsanuphius also responded to this event with a poem entitled “On a pilgrimage (On the day of the discovery of the relics of St. Seraphim, the Wonderworker of Sarov, July 19, 1903)”: Like in ancient times with the rod of the prophet Moses The Lord worked miracles in Egypt, And through the holy bones of Elisha Raised the dead to life, And he brought forth water from a stone in the desert, So by the grace of the Almighty Creator His chosen holy bodies And their bones work miracles to this day, In all the greatness of their power and sacredness. May the crazy voices be silenced Those who speak pride in truth, Those who have rejected the Lord Christ - “The voices of the mad” were heard everywhere in Russia, and have been for a long time already - the prince of this world has recruited many servants for himself, corrupting their souls, arming them against the right faith and the people who profess it. But Holy Rus' was alive and strong, and Seraphim’s celebrations stirred up in her even more love for God and faith in the future of the Russian people. Father Barsanuphius in the poem “Saint Theodosius”, in its second part, also spoke about believing Russia, faithful to God and the Tsar: Wonderland, oh my holy Russia! Crowds of foreigners crowd around you And your feet are struggling... But you are coming, my dear country, Forward with hope in the Lord Christ, Humbly bowing under the weight of the cross. Keeping His holy commandments, - Be faithful to them from generation to generation. The power of rebirth lies within you Peoples of the world. Towards the light of Sunday And into the kingdom of life, full of joy, You will lead them with a powerful right hand, And your spiritual fruit will increase a hundredfold, Blessed, happy country!... It’s not entirely clear whether it’s an extract from somewhere or his own reasoning in “Cell Notes,” a passage called “Autocratic Power,” but Fr. Barsanuphius, according to the traditions of the holy fathers, always believed that loyalty and love for the Orthodox Tsar had their source in faith in God. “The devotion of the Orthodox Russian people to their Tsars,” he writes, “is not at all the same as the devotion of Western peoples to their sovereigns. According to modern Western concepts, the sovereign is nothing more than a representative of his people - and Western peoples love their representatives and willingly obey when they faithfully fulfill this assignment or when, by the power of their genius, they carry the people along with them and blind them with the brilliance of the glory and power of the state, like Napoleon in France and Frederick in Prussia; but this is self-seeking and selfish love. In the West, people love only themselves in their sovereigns. If the king, due to his personal character, is not able to be a true reflection, representative of the will of the people and the aspirations, ideas, and passions that dominate them, then his will is limited and compressed through constitutional vices. If the king does not succumb to these efforts and is unable to imitate the taste and character of his subjects, then he is deprived not only of the people’s love, but also of the throne, as was the case with Charles X and Louis Philippe and the Sardinian King Albert. It’s not the same with us in Russia: our Tsar is a representative of the will of God, not the people. His will is sacred to us, like the will of God’s Anointed; we love him because we love God. The King gives us glory and prosperity, we accept this from him as the mercy of God. Whether dishonor and disaster befall us, we endure them with meekness and humility, like heavenly execution for our iniquities, and we will never change our love and devotion to the Tsar, as long as they stem from our Orthodox religious convictions, from our love and devotion to God.” Such thoughts in the “Cell Notes” are side by side with extracts from Saints Isaac the Syrian and Peter of Damascus (and other holy fathers). Father Barsanuphius often turns to St. Peter of Damascus, who reveals many secrets of Orthodoxy to the attentive reader. The passage “Faith” says that “the other is the general Orthodox faith, that is, the right dogmas about God and His mental and sensory creations, as the Holy Catholic Church accepted by the grace of God, and the other faith is vision, that is, knowledge, which by no means opposes what gave birth to it, but even more affirms it. The first we receive from Divine Baptism by the grace of Christ, and not from works, that is, keeping the commandments and enduring temptations; the second, that is, the great faith of vision, is born in us after doing, and about this particular faith, that is, the faith of vision, the Lord said: “If you had faith like the grain of a pea” (Luke 17:6).” There are also excerpts from Peter Damascene in the “Cell Notes” about prayer (“During prayer, we must have a mind that is sightless, not imaginative and in no way accepting, neither light, nor fire, nor anything else...”), revelation (“Thoughts that come spontaneously to the mind of one who is silent in God, must be accepted without a doubt, and if someone considers them, this is their own understanding”), desert (“By removing people and things dispassion is acquired"), asceticism ("Asceticism is good, but with the right intention..."). Peter of Damascus is already “solid” food for a mature husband, and not liquid, milky food for a baby, for a beginner. And it is not surprising that the Lord so “quickly” brought Fr. Barsanuphius to serve at His altar and, in addition, called him to the work of spiritual care for the monastic brethren. Here is the entry in the Chronicle of Skete: “1903, September 1. Skete hieromonk Fr. Barsanuphius, having received the appointment to help Fr. The head of the monastery in the spiritual leadership of the monastery brethren and the Shamordin sisters who apply for such leadership, moved to the cells near the monastery’s Holy Gates, which at one time was occupied by the Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Macarius of blessed memory.” This was, in fact, the monastery’s house, and Fr. Joseph, who was at that time the head of the monastery, remained to live after the death of Elder Ambrose in his “hut”, on the other side of the Holy Gates, where he spent a total of fifty years, including the years of his cell attendance at the Elder. Here, in the Makarievsky building, Fr. Barsanuphius will spend his entire monastic life. The reason for settling him here was that this house had an external porch, extending beyond the Skete, for entering the reception room to the confessor of women, of whom Fr. Barsanuphius, nun and novice of the Shamordino monastery. Father Barsanuphius was amazed at such obvious Divine Providence... It seemed that it was impossible for him to achieve such a position - how many brothers in the Skete were tempted against him, even Fr. Joseph, although he did not do anything wrong, of course. But Fr. has not yet fully established himself. Barsanuphius in this house. Temptations continued, great trials were brewing, all of which served the Providence of God for Father Barsanuphius. Winter has passed. The spring of 1904 arrived, and the Russo-Japanese War broke out. In the Far East, in Manchuria, field hospitals were founded, doctors, paramedics, nurses went there... The Church began to send priests to these hospitals for the spiritual care of the wounded. When, by order of the Holy Synod, two hieromonks were requested from Skete to leave for the active army, Fr. Adrian and Fr. Barsanuphius. Father Nikon wrote on May 6, 1909: “Yesterday Father told me about the struggle he had in his soul when he was sent to war in Mullin. When Father was informed of his appointment to the East for the war, Father felt all the difficulty of fulfilling this obedience, but did not refuse, but accepted it as from the hand of the Lord, although it was the fruit of the ill will of some. “My health,” says Father, “was bad, how can I go, I think, where can a frail old man travel several thousand miles. You know, I have illnesses that are very difficult to satisfy on the road, especially in a carriage with a crowd of people. I thought that I wouldn’t make it... Then other thoughts came into my mind, namely: how will you serve alone, not knowing almost anything about worship, when you are still so inexperienced? How will you send the funeral services... How will you perform the funeral service for the dead when you have never performed a funeral service before? How will you get along with your bosses and doctors if they are Jews? - they will mock you! How will you immediately get from Skete to a crowd of people, and even to the women’s society of sisters of mercy?.. How will a climate to which you are not accustomed affect your health? And so on, and so on... But I just fought back with the Jesus Prayer. When I overcame this, the enemy changed his actions..." At this time, namely on April 7, His Eminence Trifon (Turkestanov), Bishop of Dmitrov, vicar of Moscow, arrived in Optina. He served in the monastery in the Kazan Cathedral, visited the Skete twice that day, and visited Fr. Barsanuphius, whom he knew as a novice. Bishop Tryphon began his monastic path in Optina under the elder Ambrose. He encouraged Fr. Barsanuphius and invited him to stay with him in Moscow at the Epiphany Monastery. The Chronicle of Skete records: “1904, April 9. Today the monks of the skete s.o. left the monastery. Adrian and Barsanuphius, appointed by the highest church authorities to the site of military operations in the Far East for spiritual consolation and guidance to wounded soldiers.” In the Epiphany Monastery, where Fr. stayed. Barsanuphius, Lord Tryphon blessed him on his long journey with the icon of the great martyr and healer Panteleimon. At the Synodal Office, the Kaluga hieromonks (there were five of them in total) received money for travel, documents, and each of them was given a box with church utensils and vestments - a camp church. “When I was driving across Siberia to Mullin,” the Elder recalled, “I looked out the window of the carriage and thought that there, to the east, unknown countries began: China, Korea - countries that were alien to us in their customs, with their own morals. Previously, these countries were stagnant in the darkness of paganism, now they are enlightened by the light of Christ, and in the capital of Japan, Tokyo, where the dragon was previously worshiped, a magnificent Orthodox cathedral rises. And then from these unknown countries the thought rushed further, in the direction where the inhabitants of heaven are blissful, where there is neither sadness nor sighing.” From Harbin about. Barsanuphius wrote to Bishop Benjamin, Bishop of Kaluga: “They did not stop anywhere along the way, thus following non-stop from April 13 to May 2 - 19 days. We just had to wait a few hours while crossing Lake Baikal - on steamships... Almost simultaneously, a military train with Siberian Cossacks followed us. We were told that they were followed by Orenburg and Ural Cossacks, consisting of eight regiments and two horse artillery batteries (two divisions). There was a rumor about our first battle on the Yalu River. On April 28 we arrived in Manchuria. There is a station on the border, also called Manchuria. Here we also encountered a delay; a transfer was taking place. For the first time we saw the Chinese. These are all workers. The Chinese live peacefully with Russians, and they like Russians. From the Manchuria station the road, along its entire length to the city of Harbin, 85 versts, is already guarded by troops - mounted soldiers and Cossacks are riding around. Not long before us, they caught the Japanese who wanted to blow up a railway tunnel near Khingan while a train of 40 carriages carrying troops was moving. God saved us - the explosion followed the passage of the train. They were all tried by a military court and hanged in Liaoyang. At the Manchuria station we were pleased with the news of a successful attack on the Japanese by General Rennenkampf with two regiments of Cossacks, and the Japanese suffered terrible losses. The first Chinese city on our way was Hailar, but we did not see it... The sight of Russian churches at the stations of the Siberian railway consoled us. There is desert all around. But here is a church and several, two or three dozen houses are grouped around it. This is Holy Rus' in a small form. And my soul becomes light and joyful. In Harbin, from the station we all went to the Red Cross building, where we were sheltered and given a warm welcome. We were placed in rooms and agreed to provide fish and dairy food. Life in Harbin is not expensive at all... Russian Harbin is expanding, and it can be compared with any small county town. There are three wooden churches in it, services are held daily.” The hospital was located in the town of Mullin. Father Barsanuphius was sent there. “It was like I was in heaven,” he recalled. – Nature alone is worth it: blue mountains, forests, steppes with millions of flowers. Simple friendly relations were established between me and those around me. The chief doctor turned out to be a crest, and all the others were truly Russian people and believers, including, of course, the sisters of mercy...” In August 1904, the rector of Optina Pustyn received a letter from Fr. Barsanuphius, who reported: “Three months have already passed since my arrival in Mullin... Our hospital is a branch of the Tambov Red Cross community, founded in the name of the Tambov saint Bishop Pitirim, whose relics are incorruptible and exude miracles, although not yet glorified, rest in the Tambov Cathedral 17. About four years ago I came across an image of the saint in our monastery shop, and I purchased it, framed it, and with the blessing of Fr. Joseph was placed in Scete's meal, where it is probably located and offered. And now I, unworthy, have been honored to serve in the community in the name of this saint and its patron. Now the hospital is full of sick and wounded people who are being brought from the battlefield near Liaoyang. Some are discharged and sent to the army, and new ones arrive to replace those who leave. There are now up to 250 people in the hospital and another 100 are expected. The available medical staff is small: 5 doctors, 15 nurses and 20 orderlies. There is enough work for everyone, especially the sisters - tireless work goes on both night and day. Good care. We have to confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries to the sick and console them spiritually, as the Lord instructs. Only now, when I met face to face with Russian wounded warriors, officers and soldiers, did I become convinced of the abyss of Christian love and self-sacrifice that lies in the heart of the Russian person, and nowhere, perhaps, do they manifest themselves in such amazing strength and greatness as on the battlefield. Only in difficult times of war is one realized with one’s own eyes that the faith of Christ is the breath and life of the Russian people, that with the loss and impoverishment of this faith in the hearts of the people, their life will inevitably cease. Every nation sets certain tasks, which constitute the essence, the content of its life, but the Russian people have one task, which is rooted in the depths of its soul. This is the eternal salvation of his soul, the inheritance of eternal life, the Kingdom of Heaven. I cordially congratulate you on the birth of the Sovereign Heir. Yesterday a solemn prayer service was held in front of a gathering of people and authorities. There is no church at Mullin station. At my request, I was given temporary quarters in an empty barracks, and I set up a house of prayer there using funds raised by subscription. The iconostasis was recently installed, and I am asking His Eminence Innocent, who lives in Beijing, for permission to serve the Liturgy on the consecrated antimension issued to me by the Moscow Synodal Office... I spend most of my time in the Red Cross hospital, and sometimes I get tired not from the work, but from the heat, which is very high in Manchuria. Mullin is located along the railway, on a river with excellent water and in a picturesque area: all around there are mountains covered with forests and bushes, in which there are bears, tigers and even lions, as the Chinese personally assured me. There are many breeds of all kinds of birds, especially beautiful pheasants with a bright red golden color... Until now, Mullin was in danger from attacks by Honghuz, who attacked the nearest stations at night. Now they say they all went to help the Japanese in Liaoyang... I believe, together with all Orthodox Russian people, that the incomprehensible, Divine power of the Honorable and Life-Giving Cross will defeat and crush the dark power of the deep serpent-dragon emblazoned on Japanese banners. I note, by the way, that I also had to personally hear from the soldiers stationed at the Khantazy station, 70 versts from Mullin, that they often saw two years ago how a huge winged dragon crawled out of one mountain cave, terrifying them, and again hid in the depths of the cave. Since then it has not been seen, but this proves that the stories of the Chinese and Japanese about the existence of dragons are not at all fiction or a fairy tale, although European scientists and ours, together with them, deny the existence of these monsters. But you never know what is denied just because it does not fit the standards of our concepts... In memory of the holy noble princes and martyrs Boris and Gleb, on July 24, not far from the window of my cell, located next to the prayer house, many sparrows were seen flying near the wall. As we approached, we saw a huge poisonous snake that was climbing onto the roof and could climb into the window at night. The Lord saved the holy noble princes Boris and Gleb through the prayers... I am alone here, I have no one to consult or talk to for the benefit of my damned soul, although there are many good people around me... My life, in its general course, is this: I get up at 2 o’clock in the morning and perform morning prayers, the 1st hour and the midnight office. Then I go to bed and get up at 6 o’clock in the morning, do the 3rd and 6th hours and fine. I drink tea with bread. Then classes at home and in the hospital, lunch at the Red Cross... I rest for an hour, then back to the hospital. In the evening at 10 o'clock I read the evening prayers and the 9th hour and go to bed. I replace the hours with the Jesus Prayer. I have almost abandoned Pentecost, although I do not lose hope, with God’s help, to begin again and pass as it should 18. In general, in many ways I have fallen behind Optina's order... Many of my brothers, like swallows, falcons and even eagles, soar high and soar in the skies, and I cannot even rise from the ground, weighed down by the sleep of despondency, but I do not lose faith that perhaps the Lord will return me to the Skete and I will shut myself up in my silent cell, thinking only about the salvation of my own sinner. damned soul. But when this time comes, only God knows... I am also glad that our detachment and the hospital arrived from the area consecrated by the feet of St. Seraphim of Sarov, whom I always remember on all holidays: and Father Fr. Ambrose was a Tambovite.” Later, in the Skete, in one of the conversations with spiritual Fr. Barsanuphius said: “Every day many wounded were brought in, and I, as the Lord, helped, consoled, and united the dying with Christ through the communion of the Holy Mysteries. It often happened: you go up to some patient - whose stomach is pierced and pieces of intestines are torn out, whose arm or leg is crushed - you go up to him, and he suffers not so much from pain as from memories of his own family. He has a wife and little children who are waiting for their uncle to return, and his uncle lies in the hospital with an incurable wound. You have to have a heart of stone to pass by such a sufferer.” In May 1904, Fr. Barsanuphius received an award from the Holy Synod - a pectoral cross. In August 1905 the war was over. “The sovereign did everything in his power to bring the war to a shameful end,” wrote S. S. Oldenburg. – Internal unrest greatly paralyzed Russian power. It was impossible to refuse negotiations altogether due to both international and domestic conditions. Having started negotiations, it was impossible to refuse the concession of Port Arthur or Korea (which Russia agreed to cede before the war). President Roosevelt, Emperor Wilhelm, Russian Commissioner Witte - all demanded further concessions, and only the Sovereign, with his firmness, prevented the worst conditions of peace. Russia did not win the war, but all was not lost: Japan felt the power of Russia at the very moment when it was already preparing to reap the fruits of its successes. Russia remained a great Asian power, which would not have happened if, in order to avoid war, it had cowardly retreated in 1903 to Japanese harassment. The sacrifices made were not in vain. For many years, Japan - exhausted by the struggle to a much greater extent than Russia - could not resume its forward movement in Asia: for this it took a revolution in China, a world war and the Russian revolution" 19 . On the way back from Manchuria, Fr. Barsanuphius was in mortal danger several times. On February 23, 1909, he told Fr. Nikon: “When I was returning from Manchuria by rail, one night I wanted to be alone - whether I felt sad or something else, I don’t remember. I went into the hallway of the carriage, so to speak, I mean that small room, of which there are usually two in each carriage: in front and behind; they have four doors - one leads to the carriage, the other to the platform to the next carriage, and two to the right and left for passengers to exit. I went out and leaned on one door and thought: “Glory to Thee, Lord! I’m going again to dear Optina...” And I wanted to go to the opposite side door, I walked and suddenly, as if by some force, I was pushed away. I stopped in the middle and, looking closely, saw that the door was pushed to the side (there are doors of such a device), which I did not notice in the dark, but wanted to lean on it. And what would have happened... The Lord saved.” Another time Fr. Nikon made the following entry: “Father told what mortal dangers he was exposed to when returning from Manchuria: 1st - how Father almost got off the carriage at the fastest speed, believing that the door was closed; 2nd - how Father had a premonition not to board the train, and he did not board, and the train, indeed, for some reason, shattered into pieces. And when Father arrived on another train, he saw only a pile of rubble and a mass of bloody bodies; 3rd - how they intended to kill Father in a latrine located in a remote place. And how wonderfully the Lord saved from all these dangers, and perhaps many others that Father did not notice.” Far East... Siberia... Crossing Baikal again... The wheels are knocking, the carriage is rocking and shaking... Day after day... And here are Russian cities, stations, stops... Golden-domed churches... Father Barsanuphius, tired of the long journey, various inconveniences, communication with random people, is saved by the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” How Optina dreams of his dear and dear fatherland in his half-sleep... Strength is running out. All the ailments are beginning to make themselves felt - during the war they seemed to have retreated... With what joy would I enter my cell now! But he still deviated from his path and visited the Sarov Hermitage. “I stopped by the Venerable Seraphim of Sarov,” he recalled. - It was Sunday. I’m standing at mass, and suddenly a completely unfamiliar monk comes up to me and says: “In memory of the elder, father!” I say: “Which one?” - “Fathers of Father Ambrose, today is the day of his death.” “Oh, yes, I know, I know,” I said, because I was ashamed to admit that I had forgotten about it. I went and took out the prosphora for Father Fr. Ambrose." It was October 10th. Father Barsanuphius, having forgotten about everything except the final goal of his path, seems to meet the Monk Seraphim with the Monk Ambrose. Through Arzamas and Nizhny Novgorod. Barsanuphius went to Moscow, where he again stayed at the Epiphany Monastery, warmly received by Bishop Tryphon. He came to the Moscow Synodal Office, corrected the necessary documents and handed over the box with the camp church. Now it was possible to go to Kaluga... But something made him hesitate a little. He visited some monasteries and churches in Moscow, which had not yet fully recovered from the shocks of this violent year. Bishop Tryphon, without a doubt, told Fr. Barsanuphius about what happened here in winter and spring. In one of his sermons in subsequent years, Bishop Tryphon said: “I remember the horrors of 1905 and this prayer service on Red Square on the day of St. Nicholas... I remember how in these terrible days Moscow seemed as if orphaned, when shots thundered everywhere and when death was threatened at every step...” On February 4, the terrorist Kalyaev threw a bomb at the Grand Duke passing through Red Square. Sergei Alexandrovich, Moscow Governor-General, - the explosion blew him apart. His widow, Grand Duchess Elisaveta Feodorovna, left worldly life and became the abbess of the Marfo-Mariinsky monastery she founded. Great was the turmoil, and what a mass of destroyers the prince of this world summoned from the depths of the people! The white light faded from the bloodthirstiness and anger of the adherents of “freedom”... This time, however, Russia resisted. At the end of October 1905, Fr. Barsanuphius was in the Ascension Convent in the Kremlin, and Father John of Kronstadt served there at that time in the cathedral church. Father Barsanuphius did not say anything about this meeting, but only called it “the first and last meeting” with Fr. John (he had seen him before, and once Father John seemed to predict the priesthood for him, silently kissing his hand in the altar, the hand of an officer unknown to him...). They probably had a conversation after the service. Later Fr. Barsanuphius told the wife of S. A. Nilus about one incident that happened to him in Moscow in 1905: “Today a young nun comes to me and says: “Where,” I say, “mother, can I remember everyone?” No, I don't know. “You saw me,” he says, “in 1905, in Moscow, on a tram.” I was still a frivolous girl then, and you turned to me with a question: what am I reading? And at that time I was holding a book in my hands and reading. I answered: Gorky... - Then you grabbed your head, as if I had already done God knows what. Your gesture made a strong impression on me, and I asked: what should I read? - And then you advised me to read the priest Khitrov 20, and I knew both him and his mother, but I did not suspect that he had written anything. When you gave me this advice, I objected to you with these words: what’s more, you’ll tell me that I should go to a monastery. “Yes,” you answered me, “go to the monastery!” “I just smiled at these words, they seemed so incongruous to me.” I asked: who are you and what is your name? – You answered: my name remains in the monastery fence. – Do you remember this meeting now? “Now,” I say, “I remember.” How, I ask, did you end up in the monastery? - Very simple. When we said goodbye, I felt that this meeting was not without reason, I thought deeply about its meaning. Then I bought all the books of priest Khitrov, began to read other books, and then gave a large contribution to the X-monastery, and now I am a novice there as a ryassophore. “How,” I ask, “did you find me?” - And it was simple. I told my monastery priest everything about my meeting with you, described your appearance, and he told me: “This must be the Optina elder Barsanuphius.” So I came here to find out whether it was you or someone else? It turns out you are. What a joy! So, Father Barsanuphius returned to Skete. The “Chronicle of the Skete” tells about further events of his life: “1905, November 1. The skete hieromonk, who left there in April 1904, returned from the Far East. Barsanuphius. 1905... November 8. Skete feast of the Cathedral of St. Archangel Michael. After the blessing of water, the Liturgy in the Church of the Baptist was performed by Fr. Archimandrite Agapit with hieromonks Fr. O. Daniel and Barsanuphius with two skete hierodeacons. At the end of the Liturgy, a prayer service was served to the Holy Archangel. Father Barsanuphius had on himself a pectoral cross, issued by the Holy Synod, granted to him on May 6, 1904. 1906, January 9. The decree from the Consistory on the appointment of the skete hieromonk as fraternal confessor of Optina Pustyn was read at the meal. Barsanuphius, instead of being dismissed from clergy due to illness, Fr. monastery leader Joseph. 1906, April 21. Due to a serious illness, Fr. The monastery's director, the performance of his duties, is entrusted to the monastery hieromonk Fr. Barsanuphia. Today Fr. Barsanuphius went to the monastery dacha to inspect it... 1906, September 19. This month, the renovation of painting on the skete bell tower was completed, carried out by a Kozel icon painter, who 40 years ago worked in the skete on the same thing. Sacred images have been restored, except for those located on the sides of the entrance gates, for one hundred rubles. In addition, the head of the bell tower is painted blue and decorated with gilded stars, the columns of the drum under the head, the apple under the cross and the cross itself are equally gilded... This morning, His Eminence Tryphon, Bishop of Dmitrov, Vicar of Moscow, arrived in Optina Pustyn. At 6 o’clock in the evening, Vladyka visited the Skete, was in the church, and went into the cell of the skete’s leader, Fr. Barsanuphius and then returned to the monastery. The Eminence is accompanied by his brother, Prince Turkestan." This is the second visit of Bishop Tryphon to Optina in 1906. He was here from January 27 to February 2 and lived these days in the monastery, the so-called “Kologrivovsky” building, served in the churches of the monastery and the Skete, traveled to Shamordino, and ate meals with the monastery brethren. The Chronicle of Skete notes that he visited Fr. Barsanuphia. On February 1, on the martyr Tryphon, the monastery honored the Vladyka as a birthday boy. And here is a new arrival. Vladyka, who arrived with his brother Dimitri, again settled in the Skete, in the same building, and lived in Optina until December 7, often serving, delivering sermons, which he always had heartfelt and deeply touched his listeners. In October, he and the monks planted and watered apple trees in the Skete. Many times, as he himself recalled later, he visited Fr. Barsanuphius, and their conversations were long. Bishop Tryphon had a cherished desire - that the Lord would bring him here, to this beloved Skete, to live in peace when his strength began to leave him... Later, he not only dreamed about this, but also asked the Synod to give him such an opportunity - to end his monastic life where he once began it under the leadership of Elder Ambrose. But he was refused, was called to work in another place, and then times came when monks ended their lives not in monasteries, but in prisons and distant exiles, or hidden among the world, like him, Bishop Tryphon, who hovered around private apartments, but did not abandon his episcopal service in the most cruel times. But now he is here, in the Skete... Here he is with Fr. Barsanuphius, with whom he was completely unanimous. Father Barsanuphius has turned completely grey, he is 61 years old. The cell attendant brought a boiling samovar, and a friendly conversation began... In the Skete there is well-dissolved air, autumn flowers, the yellowness of early autumn in the green trees... “Yes, it’s good here,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, looking out the window, even looks a little like heaven! Later, Vladyka recalled this trip to Optina: “The years of the war and the events that followed it in 1905–1906 passed. Exhausted by what I had to endure during this time, I went to Optina Skete to rest - and here I met you again... How many wonderful evenings we spent in conversations! What valuable instructions you gave me, what lofty speeches you gave!” 21 There was some kind of suddenness in such a rapid rise of Fr. Barsanuphia. He himself was surprised at this, for he did not strive for anything like that, but the Lord called him, and he obeyed. The novice, persecuted by ill-wishers, became a hieromonk, then (as he said more than once) he was sent to war, despite his poor health and already advanced years. So he returned and has now been appointed monastery commander. As Elder Barnabas of Gethsemane predicted, everyone really began to bow to him. Elder Barnabas died in March 1906, and Fr. Barsanuphius and Bishop Tryphon, of course, remembered him in their conversation. Vladyka turned to him from his youth, fell in love with this elder with all his soul, being an archimandrite, and then as a bishop he called him to serve with him in the church, and then buried him... The “Chronicle of the Skete” reflects many of the affairs of Fr. Barsanuphius as the monastery leader: the renovation of paintings, the repair of cells, and the drainage of the soil. He began to have a lot of household chores - accounting books, accounts, and various business papers appeared on the table. But for now, although the Chronicle calls him the head of the hermitage, he replaces the sick Fr. Joseph. Its position was established in 1907. The Chronicle reports: “1907, May 12. The head hieromonk of the Skete, Fr. Barsanuphius went to Kaluga, where he was to be ordained as abbot, which he was awarded on May 6th. 1907, May 15. Father Superior Barsanuphius, ordained to the rank of abbot on May 14th and awarded the mace, returned from Kaluga today. 1907, June 29 22. Today at the meal the decree on the appointment of Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius as head of the monastery instead of Fr. Joseph, dismissed due to ill health." Elder Joseph was already so weak that he did not leave his cell. Of course, the monastery's economic affairs turned out to be somewhat neglected. “When I took over from Fr. Joseph,” recalled Fr. Barsanuphius, - he handed me 100 rubles. money, from which he ordered to pay 54 rubles to one Kozel merchant, from whom he took fish and other supplies for Skete. Consequently, 46 rubles remain for the maintenance of the monastery. At first it occurred to me how I would support the Skete with such funds, but then I calmed down, trusting in the will of God. After all, the Skete is not mine, but John the Baptist’s, it will feed us, why should I be embarrassed. And indeed, John the Baptist did not leave Skete... We did not need anything. Donations poured in." He is silent, however, about the first donation made to the monastery treasury - his own savings (salary received in China, and some other money of his own) - only sixty thousand. Of course, now he had no peace at all. He often recalled what Elder Ambrose said: “A simple monk needs a cartload of patience, but an abbot needs a whole convoy.” His assistants were two cell attendants: the elder, monk Nikita Kharkov, and the younger, novice Nikita Barkalov, as well as the clerk, novice Kirill Zlenko. Father Barsanuphius, being the fraternal confessor of the monastery, received the monastery and skete monks every day for a whole day for confession and revelation of thoughts, and at the same time, from the “women’s” porch, the Shamordino nuns, and everyone who came. It is difficult to note the moment after which Fr. Barsanuphius became an elder (and then he was approved as an elder by the Synod). In 1907, he was already known as a perspicacious old man. People already know about him. Before he even had time to notice, he suddenly found himself constantly surrounded by people thirsty for his gracious word. Several students from the Moscow Theological Academy arrived in Optina, and so they decided to go to Fr. Barsanuphius, but they were troubled by some doubts. “There were several of them,” the Elder later recalled. – Among them are some hieromonks. All with theological education... They came to me and reasoned: “What can he say for our edification, after all, Abbot Barsanuphius does not have a theological education.” “We came to you,” the students said later, “and you asked a question to which none of us could give a proper answer. Opinions differed. And when they asked you, you gave a direct answer, which surprised everyone at first, and then everyone agreed with it. You asked: “What is life?” Then they defined this concept in two words: “Life is bliss.” At first they began to object: “How blissful it is when there is sorrow, illness, and trouble at every step.” You objected: “Life is bliss, and not only because we believe in a blissful eternity, but also here on earth, life can be blissful if you live with Christ, fulfilling His holy commandments. If a person is not attached to earthly goods, but relies in everything on the will of God, lives for Christ and in Christ, then life here on earth will become bliss. Christ himself said that there are nine gates to achieve bliss.” Due to the originality of the comparison, we did not understand you and were perplexed about which gate you were talking about. You then explained to us: “Blessed are those who are merciful, blessed are those who are pure in heart” (Matthew 5:7–8), they will receive the highest bliss... Christ calls everyone to bliss.” In her memoirs about the Elder, nun Elena Shamonina talked about how the Elder turned her life around and finally brought her to the monastery. “For a long time I rushed from person to person,” she wrote, “from book to book, from Tolstoy to Bebel, from both to Bishop Theophan, from there to writers who tried to combine the most terrible destructive ideas with the Gospel teaching, - and I could not stop at anything, I could not find peace or a foothold in anything... Almost by force, kind people sent me to Optina Pustyn, where I arrived in the summer 1907. I went to Skete and ended up in a “hut”. There weren't very many people. The cell attendant ordered me to go into a narrow corridor, where several nuns and two or three lay women were sitting... The door creaked, and in a white cassock, with which gray hair and beard merged, with a serious and concentrated look hidden behind dark glasses, Father came out and began to bless those present one by one. Everyone knelt before him... When I entered the prayer room, Father sat down in his chair, sat me down on the sofa and began a conversation that seemed very ordinary to me: how old are you? what rank? where did you study? how did you finish? what did you do? and so on... Why did I come to Optina?.. When I was talking about my bewilderments about the various books I had read, Father interrupted me and ordered me to buy the works of Abba Dorotheus in the shop today and start reading. “You’ll like her,” he ended the conversation and ordered to go to the room to rest, and come back at seven in the evening.” Elena bought the book and started reading. She liked the “soulful teachings and messages” of Abba Dorotheus so much that she hardly tore herself away from them to go to Fr. Barsanuphius. However, he did not make much of an impression on her; it seemed to her that he was unable to understand the soul of such an intelligent, complex person like her (she was 21 years old). But she still went to the Skete again. “Father came out and called me to follow him,” she writes. “I bravely and cheekily entered the prayer room and expected the same ordinary conversation as was conducted in the morning, but only Father’s appearance somehow changed: he looked somehow closed, concentrated, and for some reason my heart sank, anticipating something incomprehensible and, like any unknown, terrible. I tried to talk about something, but Father interrupted my speech: “Wait, leave it,” and the voice sounded serious and authoritative, and I cannot help but obey this vaguely felt authority, despite all the courage and swagger of my “intelligence.” - How old are you now? “So,” and the eyes from under the glasses look at me, piercing; these eyes read in my soul and conscience as if in an open book, and a new shame covers me, and I want to close this book, to shrink so that not everything is visible to this penetrating gaze. What was I afraid of?.. - Well, nine years ago, when you were twelve years old, you committed a sin. Like they hit me with a whip. “No, there was no sin,” I immediately objected, and a terrible struggle began between me, brushing aside Father’s reproof, insisting on it with amazing patience. - Think! Remember... try to remember. But I stubbornly refused... - Well, now do you remember? - a stern voice sounds, it sounds more like a statement than a question, but should I, my pride and self-esteem, admit to something bad in front of this person?.. - Now you completely remember! Tell me this sin. ... And I started talking. What I said was only the beginning of that thread, which seemed so simple and clear to me. Something completely unexpected happened: sin after sin, nasty thing after nasty thing, mistake after mistake was remembered, said, and all this piled up over my head, everything accused me and pressed me to the ground. Finally everything was said. The conversation is over, and I look at my judge, looking confused, just not understanding what happened? What did he do to me? “Tell me,” I hear the stern voice again, “could you die without reaching Optina?” Or in the morning, earlier than they came to me? - And if I let you go to the hotel now, can you die tonight? “And how can you show up there with everything you have on your conscience?” I can't let you go like this. We need to confess now. There was no need to object. Father immediately put on his clothes. Taking me to the lectern, he ordered me to kneel before the icon and gave me a sheet of general confession to read. When I got to the words: “Other than that...” - Father stopped me: – Repeat after me: I sinned before You, Lord, in this way... And the deeds that so horrified me followed, called by their proper names. This is over too. My head did not rise from the shame that crushed her. The priest put on the stole and read the prayer of permission. - Maiden Elena, rise up! - he said later. And I got up from my knees, understanding his phrase, of course, only in the literal sense. Seeing exactly how narrowly I understood his words, Father, giving me the cross, added: “I didn’t just tell you to get up off the floor, no, you need to get up from sin, from your old life.” The confession is over, and where did the strict and impartial judge go, who so mercilessly exposed to me the unknown ulcers of my soul? Father has definitely changed: his eyes look caringly, fatherly, and his voice sounds affectionately: - My child, how are you feeling? - I’m terribly tired! – I couldn’t help but admit. Indeed, it was as if I had climbed a huge mountain and was suddenly so exhausted... - I wish I wouldn’t get tired! After all, what a struggle she endured! Sit down, relax, or better yet, sit on the sofa and put a pillow on it. Sit here until I come. This gentle tone, this solicitude again stunned me; after that shameful and terrible thing that the Elder saw in my soul, after I myself became disgusting, he had a caring, fatherly word for me, so unclean and sinful, instead of deserved condemnation and contempt, and not a sound of reproach, not a shadow of condemnation.” On September 14, 1907, with the blessing of Bishop Tryphon, pilgrim E. and her sister S. came to Optina Pustyn. They first visited Elder Anatoly (Potapov), and then went to Skete. They had previously turned to Elder Barnabas of Gethsemane with their spiritual needs, but in March 1906 he died. Bishop Tryphon advised them to go to Optina to Fr. Barsanuphius. However, others, as E. recalls, “They slandered Father Barsanuphius, saying that he is proud and inaccessible.” So they arrived, but, despite the advice of Bishop Tryphon, to Fr. Barsanuphius did not intend to go, but went to Fr. Anatoly. Are you partakers? - he asked. Yes. - Well, go to Father Barsanuphius for obedience. “At two o’clock in the afternoon on September 14,” recalls E., “my sister and I entered the first reception room, where Father Barsanuphius stood among the beggars, about thirty, in a white cassock, half-robe and blue glasses. And, raising his head, he tells us: -Where have you been for so long? I've been waiting for you for a long time. I quietly say to my sister: “He didn’t recognize us, he met us as acquaintances,” and immediately answered: - Father, this is our first time with you. “I know it’s your first time, but I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” He comes up to me and says: I was so embarrassed that I unintentionally said a lie: - No, you are on the third day, and today are communicants. He amazed us so much with his insight that I could hardly stand on my feet. He, without asking our names, but naming them himself, says: - You, E., go to the prayer room, I need to work with you right now, and you, S., sit there, in the room, by the Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God. In the prayer room, Father asked: - Go back twenty-one years and bring confession from the age of twelve. “Let’s pray, and God will help us, and what you don’t remember, I’ll remind you.” And before the age of twelve, even if you had sins, God did not reveal them to me, which means He forgave me. Indeed, for his holy prayers, my entire past life was painted in vivid pictures, and I remembered all the smallest details. And even at the age of sixteen there were two actions that were not pleasing to God. I mixed them - I called the last one the first. And Father directly told me: - No, child, the first thing is this, and then the other. And in many ways, Father reminded me of exactly what happened to me. Then I say: “You have resurrected my first elder for me in everything, Father Barsanuphius, both in techniques, and in advice, and in answers.” “You should have been with me soon after the death of the Elder, whom I loved very much, but the demon took your path to me.” But now let us thank the Lord - you are with me, and we will not give the demon a place. That's why I was already waiting for you to come to my place. And here you struggled for three days with the thought of coming to me. But now, thank God, all the obstacles have been destroyed? Shamorda nun Mother Alexandra (Gurko) said: “Once Father Fr. Barsanuphius spoke with several nuns, his spiritual daughters, about the battle with the spirits in heaven. For some reason, he sat me next to him, even insisted that I sit closer to him. During the conversation, while Father was talking about what kind of insurance monastics are subject to, I suddenly saw a demon actually standing nearby, so terrifying in appearance that I screamed furiously. Father took me by the hand and said: “Well, what? do you know now?” The other sisters saw nothing and did not understand anything of what happened.” Somehow about. Barsanuphius said: “They come to me for advice, and I am told to ask: Are you not a sinner in this or that? She answers: “Yes, I am a sinner.” - “And you didn’t confess this sin?” - "No". - “Did you confess to us in Optina?” - “Yes.” - “And you didn’t say it?” - "No". - “You definitely need to confess, it’s okay that you’ve already been to confession...” And suddenly he turns pale: “Ah! Oh!" - and falls unconscious. She will be taken out of the prayer room and placed either behind the Hermitage on a bench, or in the first room where the beggars are. And they sometimes sit for an hour, some return, and some never return to me. Today I sat alone for an hour, and when I came to my senses, I asked her if anything like this had happened to her before. She answered: “Nothing like this has ever happened to me.” This is, of course, the enemy. She hid her sin, which is what the devil needed, for for this mortal sin she had to go to hell, and even unconfessed sin itself has a destructive effect on a person. So the devil holds capital in his hands, and also receives interest on it... And through confession all this is destroyed. That is why the devil did not want to let go of the victim from his hands and tried to prevent confession by fainting... Yes, some do not return, they just leave.” In the same 1907, Sergei Aleksandrovich Nilus and his wife settled in Optina, or rather, next to it. He described how this happened in his book “On the Bank of God’s River.” “It was like this,” Sergei Alexandrovich begins to talk about it, “at the end of July 1907 my wife told me: – Why is it that we still can’t get together in Optina? How much you have told me about its spiritual beauty, about its elders, about the picturesqueness of its location, but how to go there, you keep putting it off. Write about. Abbot Barsanuphius that we are going to visit them. I did just that. Soon I received an answer from both elders, lovingly calling us under the cover of Optina grace for pilgrimage and spiritual rest, as much as we love and as much as we can live. We quickly got ready and went. Optina made a huge impression on his wife. There is nothing to say about me: I could not breathe enough of her air, the fragrance of her shrine, admire the beauty of her pine forest, listen to the caressing whisper of the quiet, swirling waters of the shy beauty Zhizdra, reflecting the bottomless depth of the Optina sky with the mirror of her depth... Oh, my beauty Optinskaya! O peace, O silence, O serenity and the everlasting glory of the Spirit of God, resting over the shrine of your monastic spirit, established and confirmed by the prayerful sighs of your great founders!... We were preparing for the Day of the Assumption, and on the greatest day of the Mother of God we were honored to be communicants of the Holy Mysteries. The next day, August 16, was the feast of the Savior Not Made by Hands... We are greeted by hieromonk Fr. Sergius, teaching us his blessing, unexpectedly says to us: – What a pity, Sergei Alexandrovich, that you live so far from us! - Yes, you see, we have an idea to publish “Optinskie leaflets” like “Trinity”: if you lived somewhere nearby, you would be our employee. “Why,” I say, “did this happen?” We, thank God, are free people, not bound by any worldly responsibilities: there will be room for us in Optina - here we are and yours. “Well,” says the Elder, “God bless.” Talk to Fr. Archimandrite and with Fr. Barsanuphius: they will bless you - and settle with us: what could be better than our Optina life? We were beside ourselves with unexpected joy. ... Once upon a time, one of its famous tonsures, later Archbishop of Vilna Juvenaly (Polovtsev), lived in Optina in temporary “rest”. In the outer fence of the monastery garden, at the end of the 70s of the last century, he built himself a separate building with all the services attached to it, lived in it for ten years and from there was called to the see of the Vilna diocese. Since then, this building, which became the property of Optina, has stood almost always empty, occasionally only occupied for a short summer time by random summer residents. It was this building, or rather, the estate, that I remembered after a significant conversation for us with Fr. Sergius... We decided to go watch it... How much we then fell in love with Juvenal’s calm!... Oh, how we would have wished to end our lives in it!... With about. The archimandrite ended the agreement about our residence with two words... We spent the first night in our new Optina shelter from September 30 to October 1 of the same year. The first morning of our Optina life, therefore, was the morning of the Intercession of the Mother of God.” Sergei Alexandrovich was cordially met by Fr. Barsanuphius - the Nilus spouses now began to confess to him, and immediately together, since they had no secrets from each other. Father Barsanuphius allowed Nilus to use the archives of the skete library, and he was very rich in all sorts of manuscripts and documents. “And we, with the blessing of the elders, lived a quiet, deserted life, hoping to lay our bones near the saints of Optina... Great and incomparably beautiful is the river of God - Holy Optina! This river flows from the sources of temporary life into the sea of ​​ever-joyful, endless life in the kingdom of unstoppable Light, and it carries the boats of its desert dwellers, and many other sorrowful, tormented, suffering souls who found the truth of life at the feet of the great Optina elders. What miracles, what signs of God’s mercy, as well as His righteous wrath, are not hidden within the transparent, deep, life-giving waters of this majestic, beautiful, mysteriously wonderful river! How many times from its picturesque shore, covered with a tent of lush green pines and spruces, fanned by the coolness of curly oaks, the lace of birches, aspens and maples of the reserved monastery forest, did my net descend into its bottomless depths, clear as rock crystal, and - not in vain...” Sergei Alexandrovich, based on Optina archival materials, prepared books, kept diaries... Nilus wrote about a lot here. Living images of Optina monks appeared on the pages of his books - the former Optina, and the current one, contemporary to him - those monks with whom he met, talked, and whose spiritual exploits he admired. The essay “Seeker of the Invisible City” arose in connection with the death of Hieromonk Daniel (in the world Dimitry Bolotov). “On Sunday, November 25, 1907,” he writes, “at half past two in the afternoon in the Skete of Optina Hermitage, the righteous soul of Hieromonk Daniel flew to the Lord... Father Daniel came from that family of Bolotovs, which in the days of Catherine’s eagles gave the famous creator of “Bolotov’s Notes”, and in our days - four monks: himself, his brother-schemamonk and sisters: the schema-abbess and schema-nun.” Schema nun Sophia, sister of Fr. Daniel, was the first abbess of the Shamordinskaya Ambrosievskaya hermitage. Father Daniil was an artist in the world, a comrade at the Academy of Arts of Repin and Vasnetsov, a brilliant portrait painter and achieved considerable fame in the art world. He came to the monastery already fifty years ago. He did not completely abandon his art, but took a different turn - he painted icons and portraits of monks. His portraits of Elder Ambrose are known, now familiar to us from numerous reproductions. Father Barsanuphius, while still a novice, became close to Fr. Daniel: several of his stories, mainly about wonderful dreams, Fr. Barsanuphius then wrote it down in his Cell Notes. Father Daniel was one of those who at the Skete spiritually helped the novice, who was enduring great temptations, to withstand. “The deceased Elder stands before me as if alive,” wrote Nilus. “I see his somewhat stooped, tall, thin figure with a head that, with every impetuous movement, agitates the already thinning silver strands of long, gray hair... his radiant, kind eyes look penetratingly. I see his beautiful, thin fingers... I hear his deep and somewhat dull basso, so welcomingly greeting everyone who crossed the threshold of his cell, littered in complete disorder with all sorts of confusion, where there was something: pencil sketches, paint studies, palettes, brushes, paints, books, illustrations, bottles with photographic poisons, containers with the remains of brotherly food, a samovar... on an easel - a begun and not yet finished icon...” In summer o. Daniel began to weaken. He wasn't sick, he was just losing strength. He also visited the Niluses at the Juvenalian house. And Sergei Alexandrovich visited him in his cell until his last day. On the day of his death, Fr. Daniel, with the help of his brothers, found the strength to come to Fr. Barsanuphius to the house of the monastery commander, where his two nieces, nuns from Shamordin, were waiting for him. He blessed them for the last time, and besides them, Nilus’s wife, because women were not allowed to enter the Skete and visit Fr. Daniel in his cell. This was his last appearance. Having learned that Fr. Daniel wished to accept the schema, Fr. Barsanuphius went to him. “Father Daniel,” he said, “do you want us to kidnap you?” - Be it your way, but answer me consciously and firmly: can and is the Lord strong enough to raise you from your sickbed, after accepting the schema, healthy? – Can you, having risen healthy, fulfill all the vows of the schema? Will you completely abandon the world you preach to? Will you shut yourself in your cell and never leave the monastery fence again, no matter how much you are needed there in the world with which you constantly talk? - Yes? – the Elder thought. “Well, you see, father,” continued the Abbot, “you apparently cannot solve this issue yourself.” But I know you, I know that you will not give up your preaching and communication with people outside the monastery fence who love you. What will you bring to the Lord if you break the vows of the schema?.. - Yes, scary! – answered the Elder. - No! It’s better this way, without the schema... In one of his sermons to his flock at the Epiphany Monastery in Moscow, Bishop Tryphon spoke about Fr. Daniel and his death. He relayed the following conversation between the monks and the dying man: “The brethren gathered to say goodbye to him. “Father Daniel, are you dying? - they asked him. “Are you probably afraid of dying?” - “How scary can it be? After all, the Savior calls: “Come to Me, all you who labor, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)... After all, if He, the Merciful, calls us, then can we be afraid? It is not scary to face death, but joyful; Now, if He had persecuted us, then it would have been a different matter.” He fell silent for a few minutes and fell into eternal sleep.” At the beginning of 1907, two young men, Ivan and Nikolai Belyaev - the first had not yet graduated from high school, and the second was studying at Moscow University - came to the decision to leave the world and go to a monastery. Their choice fell on Optina Pustyn. They asked the priest Fr. for a blessing for monasticism. Peter (Sakharov), rector of the Church of John the Baptist on Pyatnitskaya - he was a teacher of the Law of God at the gymnasium where the brothers studied. Father Peter led them to Vladyka Tryphon, his comrade at the Theological Academy. Vladyka liked them. Having asked the brothers about their desire, he said: - I’ll send you to Optina, and maybe I’ll create family discord? The brothers replied that they had a blessing from their mother. A few days later they were at Vespers, after which the Bishop spoke a word about the prodigal son and read an akathist to the holy martyr Tryphon. Then Vladyka invited both brothers, their mother and Fr. Petra. While they were sitting in his office, a monk who had just arrived from Optina, Fr. Gabriel. Seeing him, the Lord said jokingly: – Archangel Gabriel has always been a herald. And Father Gabriel has been sent to you. So you will go with him to Optina. And he said to the mother of the Belyaev brothers: – Don’t worry, they will only see good things there, and they will stay with them for the rest of their lives. Let them go. He conveyed through Fr. Gabriel Fr. Barsanuphius, who sends these young people to him under his spiritual guidance. This is how the last elder of Optina Pustyn, Hieromonk Nikon (in the world Nikolai Belyaev), began his monastic journey. At first, the brothers, having spent the entire Great Lent in Optina, returned home, since Fr. Barsanuphius insisted that they still test themselves in the world to see how strong their desire to become monks was. Over the next eight months, they sometimes visited Pustyn, and finally, on December 7, 1907, in memory of St. Ambrose of Milan and the day of the Angel of the Venerable Optina Elder Ambrose, Fr. After the Divine Liturgy, Barsanuphius said to the Belyaev brothers: “... Elder Ambrose himself blesses you on your monastic path.” December 9, the day of the celebration of the icon of the Mother of God “Unexpected Joy”, Fr. Barsanuphius informed Nikolai and Ivan that they had been accepted into the Skete. Once again they went to Moscow - this time for a final settlement with the world. On December 22, the brothers hurried to the monastery, on the 23rd they arrived in Optina, and on the 24th they moved from the monastery hotel to the Skete - it was the Eve of the Nativity of Christ. Nikolai immediately got used to the monastery spirit, completely surrendering to the leadership of Fr. Barsanuphius, who, being his mentor, became both his elder friend and fellow-secret. Ivan’s fate turned out to be more complicated - he subsequently left Skit and Optina more than once, lived in Moscow, then returned, and Fr. Barsanuphius always received him with love. There was Ivan (“Ivanushka,” as his brother Nikolai always called him in his diary) on Mount Athos. He seemed to find no place for himself, tormented by the unsettled state of his soul. He was a subtle man, endowed with a literary gift. Already here, in the Skete, he began to write spiritual poems, and then akathists. Nikolai Belyaev was first appointed to general obedience, then Fr. Barsanuphius involved him in writing matters, to help his clerk, novice Kirill Zlenko, and then in the matter of book publishing - at this time the letters of Elder Ambrose were being prepared for printing, and Nicholas was entrusted with compiling a short, condensed content of each letter of the book. In the fall of the following year, Kirill Zlenko was recruited as a soldier, and Nikolai, the future Elder Nikon, became the clerk in his place. Father Barsanuphius loved to talk with him, was frank and generally treated the young novice with purely fatherly tenderness. He blessed him to keep a diary and allowed him to record the content of their conversations. Often, in free moments, I walked with him around the Skete or in the forest. And most importantly, he tirelessly improved his spiritual life, taught him to live an attentive, prayerful life, guided him in that invisible battle that every monk wages against the dark forces seeking to destroy his soul. January 11, 1908 Fr. Barsanuphius talked with novices Nikolai and Ivan from eight to half past eleven in the evening. The conversation was long and even in the abbreviated entry in Nikolai Belyaev’s diary it was perhaps the longest. Father Barsanuphius, having seated the brothers in the prayer room on a sofa, himself sat down in a wicker chair. The brothers were noticeably worried, expecting an important conversation. He was important - the Elder revealed to them a lot about the duties and secrets of monastic life. The cornerstone of monastic life, he said, is humility. Humility and obedience. You can acquire various virtues, but if there is pride, everything is lost... A person with great virtues, but a proud one is like a huge ship loaded with jewels, perishing in the middle of the sea... To whom will I look? Only against the meek and humble, who trembles at My words, says the Lord. But monasticism is a great boundless sea, it is impossible to exhaust or cross it. This is incomprehensible to a person who has not taken this path. One person I know, who received a European education and entered a monastery, writes to his worldly friend that until now he did not understand anything, the meaning of monasticism is so wonderfully deep. And the purpose of a monk is even higher. The Holy Apostle Paul says that in the future life there will be different degrees of bliss: “One glory to the sun, another glory to the moon, another glory to the stars. Star differs from star in glory” (1 Cor. 15:41). There are billions of these degrees, speaking according to human understanding - an incalculable number, and the first belongs to monks. And schemamonks, of course, who live worthy of their purpose, will be in the power of the Seraphim - that’s how great the purpose of a monk is. Therefore, we must thank God that He brought us here to Skete. Don’t think for a minute that you yourself have come: “No one can come to Me unless My Father in Heaven draws him” 23 . Freedom was given to us by God, and on your part there was only free will. You just didn’t resist when He took you by the hand and led you here. The Lord saves us, it is not we who are saved, but He, the Merciful, saves us at our desire. So, thank God, you yourself see how many people are dying in the world, now think for yourself why the Lord showed you such mercy that he brought you here, to the monastery, to our secluded, quiet Skete? Yes! Only with God's help can one go through this narrow, sorrowful path. The elder looked carefully into the eyes of first Ivan, then Nikolai, and, lowering his head, thought, but not for long. He saw their future. And with a certain mournful tone in his voice he continued his words: – Yes, the path of a monk is difficult, but more so for those who enter it without inner disposition - for those it is difficult. And for those who join the ranks of monks with a pure desire to serve the Lord God in spirit and truth, it is easy. True, there are sorrows, but these are clouds in a clear, radiant sky. Father Barsanuphius turned to Nicholas: “Here you are, Nikolai Mitrofanovich, when you live here, if the Lord grants you such mercy, for two or three years, then you will see what bliss monastic life is.” Time passes so quickly here... I asked one monk who lived in the monastery for fifty years: “Did the time you lived here seem long to you?” “No,” he answered, “it seems to me that I have been here for fifty days, not fifty years.” He spoke for a long time about. Barsanuphius, it was good to listen to him, because he spoke with some sublime feeling, his soul responded to his every word. Towards the end of the conversation, he instructed the new novices so that no one was allowed into his cell without prayer, so that when entering his own room they bowed four times with prayers, so that when they met the brethren, they bowed first, so that they began to get used to the Jesus Prayer, so that they read books like him, Fr. Barsanuphius will appoint them... I remembered my late elder Fr. Anatoly and how he instructed him, then a novice Paul... “He began to pray for both of us,” Nikolai ends his entry, “we prayed too. Then he blessed us and we left. Great, holy elder! Arriving at the cell, I prayed that the Merciful Lord would extend the days of the life of Father Barsanuphius and, with his instructions, would put us on our feet and strengthen us, just as Father himself had prayed for this. Save him, Lord, and have mercy! This is the first time I have seen such a person. I have never heard such conversations as Father’s.” Another time, in a conversation with the Belyaev brothers, Fr. Barsanuphius, speaking about the “basics” of monastic life, developed a kind of spiritual interpretation of Church Slavonic letters. “Every person,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, - begins the teaching with the alphabet, gradually memorizing letter by letter. Now you have come to the first letter. The first letter in the alphabet is “A”, pronounced “az” in Slavic. What does it mean? “Az” means “I”, that is, you now have to consider yourself, your own “I”. Take a closer look and see in yourself all the vices and passions that you never expected in yourself. You will see pride - the mother of all vices, and despondency, and laziness, and then, looking carefully, condemnation, anger, love of money, envy, malice... “How? Am I really evil? I didn’t think so!” But there is anger. And there, you see, a giant of fornication arises. “I have all the vices, all the passions. God! what a sinner I am!... But why do I despair? Christ called not the righteous, but sinners to repentance. God! I am weak, there is “az”, help! All hope is in You, Lord! I see now that I can’t do anything on my own!” Here you, having recognized your weakness, having learned the first letter, turn to God for help - move on to the second letter: “Beech.” This is an ancient Slavic word meaning “God” (“Buk”). Realizing your weakness, you will hope in God, live according to God’s commands, that is, according to the commandments. Of course, you will fall and stumble... But don’t lose hope in God - if you fell, don’t lie there, get up quickly and hit the road again... Then come the letters “Lead”, “Verb”, “Good”. As you succeed in living a godly life, you will approach the third letter: “Lead,” that is, you will begin to know the truth: your mind will gradually become clearer. Next - “verb”, “good” - that is, from the abundance of your heart your lips will begin to speak... So you see that not everything is done at once, but gradually. Nicholas, having come to his cell, wrote down what the Elder said, but, of course, he could not remember everything verbatim. Just after the “ABC,” he noted: “Father’s conversations were very short and awkward for me. But the meaning is true throughout. It is impossible to write everything that Father said: you will forget one thing, and even if you remember another, you cannot write everything in terms of the depth and breadth of the subject. Well, that’s good, better little than nothing.” Of course, Nikolai Belyaev had a difficult task: to convey Father’s spoken speech, where glance, gesture, intonation, even pauses mean a lot. How can you convey the complex feeling that envelops the soul: tenderness, delight, some kind of inspiration... But everything that he managed to write in his diary is unusually deep and instructive, and the thrill of spoken language is still felt in these entries... A blissful time began for Nikolai Belyaev: living under the wing of the great elder, trying to fulfill what he said, writing down this said in his cell by the light of a kerosene lamps, reliving every word many times... The logs crackle in the stove firebox... Near the icons the reddish light of a lamp fluctuates. Silence. At the end of January Fr. Barsanuphius fell ill. On the 19th, Nikolai wrote down: “Father is very weak, today I think he barely finished mass - you can see it in his face, and he walked in such a way that he would fall over. I didn’t go for general sweet tea anymore.” 20th: “Father is sick, he felt a little better, otherwise he could not move without the help of strangers. What will God give tomorrow? Otherwise, no, no, and I’ll be reminded of his words that he doesn’t have long to live.” 21st: “Father is still sick, they say he got worse again during the day. I went to the monastery out of obedience and saw how the paramedic of the monastery hospital left the Father.” On January 22, the cell attendant called Nikolai to Fr. Barsanuphius at seven o'clock in the morning. “I called you because I was somehow depressed,” said Father. – I wanted to call Father Kuksha 24, but he’s probably still sleeping. I called you. This was both unexpected and flattering for Nikolai, so he thought: “Obviously, Father is disposed towards me if he called me for such a purpose, although I am not worth it... I think that Father, out of his kindness, has a false opinion of me, that’s why he is so disposed, or maybe Father, seeing my weakness, wants to support me.” This time Father Barsanuphius talked a lot about himself: about his life in Kazan, how Saint Barsanuphius, the wonderworker of Kazan, led him to spiritual life, about Elder Anatoly, who received him in the Skete, about the temptations that later came from the brethren... “Let’s pray,” the Elder concluded his speech. “We prayed,” writes Nikolai. - Father blessed me. I was sometimes embarrassed by the thought that monasticism had deviated from its ideal. I expressed this. “Yes, yes, it evaded; however, the devil doesn’t really like this either, if he rebels so much against modern monasticism. The whole world is supported by this monasticism. When there is no monasticism, the Last Judgment will come.” Here Father cited some text to confirm his words, but I forgot it.” “Peace be with you,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, releasing Nicholas. On January 30, the Belyaev brothers came to Fr. Barsanuphius dressed in novice clothing for a blessing. “Having received his blessing,” writes Nikolai, “we went to the graves of the elders. Having taken a blessing from them and prayed, we went to the ruins. Having tried on clothes and prayerfully put them on, we again went to the elders and Father Archimandrite (Xenophon) for a blessing at the graves. We met Fr. Theodosius and took his blessing. Then they came to the Skete, made three prostrations at the gates, and went to Father. Here we were greeted by cell attendants and members of the brethren. Finally, they came to Father, bowed to the ground in front of the icons, then bowed to Father at his feet to the ground. Father blessed me, kissed me, I think (I don’t remember well), and began to pray. Father prayed out loud, and I remembered something: “I thank you, Lord, for you hid this from the wise and prudent and revealed it to babies. I thank You, Lord, that You brought these Nicholas and John here...” Then I prayed that the Lord would vouchsafe us to walk this path of monastic life and achieve our goal. He gave us a rosary and said: - Here is a weapon for you, mercilessly beat invisible enemies with it. First of all, have the fear of God, without it you will achieve nothing. Now a new life will begin for you. Even though you lived in Skete, everything was not the same. Now the demons are talking everywhere: “They were almost ours, now they came here to be saved, how is this possible?” etc. But don't be afraid. Father Barsanuphius asked the brothers what Father Archimandrite told them. “But we didn’t talk anything with Fr. Archimandrite: his cell attendant, Fr. John. “I told Father this,” writes Nikolai. – Father asked quickly: “What, what?” – I repeated. - Yes, how true the premonition is. What an old man I am, and yet revelations happen through me. I had this one yesterday. John. As a spiritual father, I know everything about him. Lately he was directly attacked by a demon and brought him to the point where he decided to go into the world. He comes to me and says: “Bless me to leave.” I told him: “Can I give a blessing for such a thing? Imagine that you are traveling on a boat at night. There is a storm at sea, the ship is flying at full speed. And so you say to me: “Bless me to throw myself into this abyss and darkness...” It’s the same now. “Yes, Father, that’s not it.” - “Yes, that’s not it, it’s even worse. Judge for yourself, with your health you won’t live long, what happened is past. Stay here." And now you see what happened. It's always like this. The demons see that a person does not have long to live, so they try to pull him out of the monastery, hoping to destroy him there before his death, to push him into the abyss. One violation of a vow is already disastrous. There was one case here where some son of a millionaire entered the Skete. Before, he lived very wildly. Soon he became tired of the monastic life and left. And what a life this unfortunate man is leading now! He walks in a top hat and with a cane along Nevsky Prospect, and nothing more... But Father Ivan still, thank God, died on the cross. I believe that I am saved. We prayed for his repose. Father read prayers, we listened and prayed. - Well, now go to lunch. Thank God that you have received such mercy from Him. Today is a significant day - the memory of Ignatius the God-Bearer. Peace be with you! On February 6, Nikolai came to Fr. Barsanuphius. “Father blessed me,” he writes, “and I knelt near the sofa on which Father sat. – I have doubts, Father, and thoughts. – Yes, doubts, just like prodigal thoughts and blasphemies, must be despised and not paid attention to them. Despise them, and the enemy, the devil, will not stand it, he will leave you, for he is proud and will not endure contempt. And if you enter into conversations with them, because lustful thoughts, blasphemies and doubts are not yours, then he will attack you, overwhelm you, kill you... A believer who loves God cannot blaspheme, but nevertheless notices two threads in himself: he loves and he blasphemes. Obviously, there is still some kind of force, evil, imposing doubts, and what kind! Don't pay any attention to them. There were so many sincere believers who suffered greatly because they accepted these doubts, examined them, and reasoned with them. Take our writers: Belinsky - what a difference he made in the first and second half of his life. Lermontov too, Turgenev and many others... You must despise these doubts, blasphemies and prodigal thoughts, then they will not harm you at all, especially if you open them to your elder mentor. But they should not be opened in detail, otherwise you may harm both yourself and the elder. Especially prodigal thoughts - to fall asleep, to quickly close this stinking hole, not to delve into it... Well, now what do you have? What doubts, thoughts? - Yes, Father, from the brethren I see one thing, another another... - Well, the devil is always like this. He sometimes presents his brother to us as completely different, not as he really is. It seems to you that your brother looked at you angrily, insultingly, but in fact this was not the case at all. This was the case here. We had a hieromonk, Fr. Benedict and there was also a monk, Fr. Arseny, a monk of good life, who almost never left his cell due to illness. Once o. Benedict goes to his cell, and at the porch Fr. Anatolia stands o. Arseny, and his look is somehow evil, hostile, does not fit the blessing... O. Venedikt looked at him and walked past with great surprise. He had just started to turn behind the church when Fr. Arseny. His face is cheerful, he comes up for a blessing, and Fr. Venedikt asks in amazement: “Where have you been?” - “Father Timon.” - "How? I just saw you near Father Anatoly’s porch.” - “You imagined it. You can see where I’m coming from.” Then Fr. Benedict went to Fr. for permission to do this. Anatoly. “Well, what’s surprising here? And you are also a hieromonk, but don’t you know this? It was, of course, a demon in the form of Fr. Arseny,” said Fr. Anatoly... Well, what else? - Well, Father, I have different thoughts about you, especially when you were sick. I even had such thoughts that when you die, I will be free. - Yes, yes, this is his first job - to sow distrust of the elder in the novice, to divide them. These are the thoughts! It's his business! In whom, if not the elder, should we instill mistrust! That’s why Abba Dorotheos says: “Don’t believe it, even if you see an old man committing fornication.” “Here’s another thought, Father, that when I join the army, I’ll go visit so-and-so... - Yes, because then it will be more free, otherwise oh. Barsanuphius tied me up... Yes? - He's always like that. Here, put on your armor, armor, and then become a soldier. In armor there, although he will shoot arrows at you, they will bounce off you. Abba Dorotheos says: “Not only do not take that arrow that the devil threw at you, but take it and shoot it at him.” And they leave us to become soldiers, serve there for two, three or four years, and return, although battered in the struggle, sometimes wounded, but alive, and again begin to live with us in the Skete. And that the devil doesn’t like me, I know this not only from you, but especially from there, from the women’s porch... I tell you this as a spiritual child, to whom I am especially disposed. Some woman will come there, come up to the porch itself and go back under the influence of similar thoughts, such as: “Oh. Barsanuphius is sick, he doesn’t have time, there are probably a lot of people, and he found someone to go to,” etc., and then it turns out that this is a pure soul... So he leaves, reaches the monastery, and then a new thought: “Why did he leave?” He will think and think and decide to come “tomorrow”. The next day he starts to come to me, and then he thinks: “Where? For what? He doesn’t accept...”, etc. But he still decides to go. He approaches the porch, and as if by some force he pushes her away from him. Finally, he overcomes himself, goes to the porch, enters and sees the people. “Should I leave? There are a lot of people and only women, I’ll sit with them...” Well, I had the courage to stay. She sits all on fire and keeps thinking about whether to leave. Finally, I go out and tell her, without knowing why: “Now come to me.” She is amazed: “Father, you are perspicacious!” Not at all, I didn’t know anything about this struggle, but I was simply told to call her, and I called her. Then confession begins and her sins are revealed, like snakes sitting in water under stones. They don't crawl out of there, but bite whoever comes up. Likewise, she never confessed her sins, sitting in the depths of her heart, either out of shame or fear. It is announced to me in such a way that I involuntarily name her sins, and she repents of them. “I visited the monastery confessor, Fr. I didn’t even tell Savva, I didn’t have the courage, and I wouldn’t have told you if you hadn’t named them to me yourself.” But I didn’t know them at all, I just had a revelation, and I said... Well, what else? - I’m very proud, Father... vanity... - Who isn’t proud? Macarius the Great says that everyone, even a saint, has something proud. That's how deep this infection is in us. Only the Angels are not proud, they are pure, and even those who move from here to heaven. Everyone has pride. Well, it will be... The rest will be explained later, little by little.” Another time Nikolai asked: - So, Father, do you always need to touch your rosary with prayer? “Definitely,” answered Fr. Barsanuphius. – Always have your rosary with you. They must be in hand during church services and during the rule. Even if they watch, for they are watching, do not be embarrassed and go over it, saying the Jesus Prayer. During mass, pay attention to what is sung and read, but leave the prayer. During the all-night vigil, you can use your rosary when you don’t hear what they are reading... For obedience, of course, it is impossible to repeat. Then there should always be prayer in the mind without the rosary. And in your cell, when you write or read, the rosary should be in your belt... When talking, you can say to yourself: “Lord, have mercy.” Or maybe even the Jesus Prayer... “Didn’t you venerate a piece of the Life-Giving Cross with me?” Father Barsanuphius took out a silver reliquary in the form of a cross, and we, - writes Nikolai, - having made two bows to the ground, venerated the reliquary, then Father opened it and I venerated the particle itself. Then they made one prostration. On the second day of Maslenitsa 1908, Nikolai came to Fr. Barsanuphius for a blessing, he took him by the hand, led him to the sofa, sat down himself, Nikolai wanted to sit down, but he ordered him to kneel near the sofa: - Conversation is another matter, then you can sit, but now stand here. Running his hand over his chest and forehead, he asked: - How is it here? How is it here? Nothing?.. “Nothing,” answered Nikolai. - Of course, thoughts come... “You can’t do without this, the mind can’t be without thoughts, just as a person can’t help but breathe.” This is his need. But what to think about? Others imagine prodigal pictures and delight in these pictures... But you came here to seek God. Finding God is the goal of monastic life. You can live in a monastery, but if you don’t be a monk, you won’t achieve anything... So artists in the field of poetry, painting, especially music - everyone wants to find God. That's not what they're looking for. How to search for God? By keeping the commandments, especially by humility... But they don’t want to humble themselves, they want to go through some side streets, in short... Do you know Pushkin’s poem “The Prophet”? There he says: “I dragged myself in the dark desert.” The desert is life. He understood that life is a desert. And he dragged himself - it was just crawling with his whole body... It seems that it is said that he comprehended “both the cherubim’s high aspirations and the underwater passage of the sea.” Angels are pure, they only “philosophize on high.” And we also have a reptile underwater passage. These two currents run parallel to us. But one should only try to “philosophize on high.” This will not be achieved immediately, but only the movement of the sea reptiles will become quieter and quieter and can achieve the point that there will be only one mountain aspiration, and those reptiles will dive into the abyss and disappear. Yes, this can be achieved. So I tell you: humble yourself and humble yourself. God help you! - Father! Today is a significant day for us. Last year we visited you this Sunday before Maslenitsa. – Yes, this is also about the search for God. You asked why we came. I say: “Seek truth in God.” - Yes, that’s right, that’s how it happened... and exactly a year later. – Father, I have terrible absent-mindedness during services. - Yes, everyone has this absent-mindedness, even the old ones. But still, this absent-mindedness of yours will be recorded there (Father pointed to the sky). Peace be with you! “Father pressed my head to his chest and kissed me,” writes Nikolai. - Save him, Lord! He comforts me very much, unworthy of his love. Yesterday I slept almost all day after tea until Vespers. I didn't read anything. Father covers everything with his love, no matter what nasty things you say to him about yourself... How many times Father said that you have to get up before the service, even before the ringing, saying: “The ringing of the bell represents the voice of the Archangel. Blessed, the vigil will find him... You need to get up in advance, get ready, wash, you need to wash your hands - your face as you want, mainly your hands need to be kept clean. How, for example, will you take the antidor with dirty hands at mass? Inconvenient. Then, fully prepared, wait for the ringing or alarm, and immediately go. And even go to mass before the bell rings, as soon as you read your morning prayers.” Damn me, I’m very lazy to get up and generally lazy to follow my father’s instructions. Soon Great Lent, Holy Pentecost, we must correct ourselves according to the priest’s prayers and with God’s help.” One day Nikolai came to Fr. Barsanuphius in the evening, when he had just dismissed the monk with whom he had been talking for a long time and was tired. The monk bombarded him with questions. And yet Father did not send Nikolai away without a conversation. “There are spiritual people,” said Father, “and there are spiritual people: the difference between them is enormous, for, as the Apostle says: “a spiritual person does not accept what is from the Spirit of God, because he considers it foolishness” (1 Cor. 2:14). He can understand all human wisdom, for example, philosophy, but there is no spiritual reasoning in him. – Father, forgive me, I remembered: “The word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved the power of God is” (1 Cor. 1:18)... - Yes, yes, for them it is foolishness, but for us, those who are being saved, it is the power of God. Yes. But notice that it says “those who are being saved,” not “saved,” and “those who are perishing,” not “those who are lost.” Others will not notice this difference right away, but then suddenly notice it after a while. We are all being saved, but it is not yet known whether we will be saved. It is also said “perishing”, for such can turn, although they stand on an “inclined plane”, sliding down... - Father, I have thoughts. “Yes, I often have thoughts that when I go to become a soldier, I will do this and that, for example: I will go to visit someone, they will give me tea with bread (after all, here we drink tea without bread) and the like. Today, for example, throughout Vespers I had positive thoughts like this: when I go to become a soldier, I will fall ill and lie in the infirmary, I will read prayer rules for the sick... or there are vainglorious thoughts about being tonsured into the mantle with various details... - Yes, it is very important that you said this. This is God's Providence! The Lord knew that you needed to express this to me... The enemy is still leading you in order to distract your thoughts from the monastery, throwing you into fire, then into water. Either he lures you out of the monastery under the pretext of military service, or he knocks you down with vanity... Don’t give in. Do not enter into a conversation with him, but answer: “How do you know? Can you know this? And to thoughts about the military, answer: “Maybe I’ll die before then.” In general, despise him... - I will answer, Father, but it will not be felt. - Let it be, but you still answer. – Now, Father, I began to notice more the weaknesses of the brethren. - Yes, this is his first job - to point out the weaknesses of the brethren. Wait, it will also indicate great weaknesses. And that monks have weaknesses is not at all surprising, monks are people... When a person comes to a monastery, he does not immediately become dispassionate, no, all his passions and weaknesses remain with him, only in the world he did not fight, but here, although he is overcome by passion, he fights. It was already eleven o’clock, but Father, completely tired at first, did not end the conversation. “Here,” he said, “every day the miracle of God’s mercy takes place on me, a sinner... I’m already an old man, but, thank God, I have enough strength for the day.” When I got sick, I thought I would never get up again, but I did. They begged me off. They prayed for me in many places. And then he continued the conversation. “Now the elders are burning out,” he said. “There is no longer senility everywhere, in Optina our little candles are burning out... The enemy rebels against nothing more than the care of senile people.” They destroy his networks. Everywhere he tries to extinguish it... There are monks who live regularly, but they know nothing about the revelation of thoughts, about eldership... Nowadays, rarely does anyone say the Jesus Prayer, and what kind of monasticism is without the Jesus Prayer? Under Catherine the Second, the enemy launched a persecution against the elders - she directly closed the monasteries... The elders and their disciples fled in all directions, and many to Athos. One of them - Paisiy Velichkovsky - was on Mount Athos, then in Moldova... And then his disciples again planted eldership among us, when they were allowed to return to Russia. Then the elders flourished... Father Barsanuphius spoke in great detail, but due to lack of time and the general difficulty of conveying his speech, Nikolai could not write down everything. After his eldership, Father touched upon the French Revolution (and it was already night and he seemed to have forgotten about rest): – The enemy erected this French revolution, meaning not only France, but mainly Orthodox Russia... “I remember,” writes Nikolai, “that Father spoke about Voltaire, Diderot and others, who were then spreading their teachings. These teachings also penetrated into Russia. It is known that Empress Catherine was in correspondence with the West, being carried away by these teachings, and under their influence, she began to oppress monasteries and persecute elders. It seems so." Along with the spiritual and important, there are sweet little things, but perhaps not completely unimportant: “I came to Father to ask permission to go to the bathhouse,” Nikolai wrote down. – He gave me two small pieces of candy for me and Ivanushka. “Everything here is childish,” said Father. I smiled and accepted with pleasure. And Father himself also smiled, and what a sweet, kind, childlike smile he had! Save him, Lord!” Conversations about. Barsanuphius and the future elder Nikon, and for now the novice Nikolai Belyaev, happened often, sometimes brief, but often generous, lengthy. Father seemed to feel what kind of soul the Lord had sent him for spiritual education... During the Great Lent of 1908, these conversations were somehow especially significant. “The Lord sees that I love everyone, that I would like to enclose everyone in my heart,” Fr. Barsanuphius. – But what can you do, some people don’t want to, they don’t go... Yes, I don’t blame them. All this is the work of the devil... What are you reading now? - Yes, Father, Abba Dorotheus has finished, bless Peter of Damascus to begin. - Okay, start. There are incomprehensible, mysterious places in this book. There you will see how the saints begin to understand the meaning of visible nature. They do not care about the visible mechanism of things, but they understand their meaning. Just as we use a watch and we don’t care about the structure of the mechanism and its chemical composition... Or we eat an apple, feel a pleasant taste and don’t care about what its chemical composition is. It seemed that Father, without any plan, was talking about one thing or another, as if without connection, but novice Nikolai, the future elder, felt that the verbs of Fr. Barsanuphius, that the visible confusion of themes, incidents, teachings is actually harmony, but hidden. He spoke from the Holy Spirit whatever came to mind, and everything went for the benefit of his disciples. Here are a number of excerpts from his words to novice Nikolai in the order in which they were recorded in the diary. “Everything has changed. Marriage is not recognized, debauchery is everywhere. I, as a spiritual father, learn a lot during confession; Of course, I can’t say this, I have twenty-five locks on my lips. Horrors reveal themselves to me. And they themselves say that they didn’t know what they were doing. For example, in 1905 they went to the barricades, thinking that they were going for a just cause, as they were told. Yes, they wanted to do the same thing they did in France... Everywhere they prepared, both in Moscow and St. Petersburg, to establish a new provisional government and force everyone to swear an oath, as was the case in France. Then those who did not renounce the old government and Christ were executed in the square and the guillotine was invented to carry out the execution more quickly... Then they released all the prisoners, that is, they gave complete freedom to all lawlessness. Then they desecrated the church. They brought the Parisian beauty into the cathedral on a luxurious throne and seated her naked on the throne. Then, having desecrated the shrine, they put her on the throne again, threw clothes on her and carried her in her arms through all the streets of the city, forcing everyone to bow to her. They wanted to do the same thing in Russia. And almost everything was ready, but the Lord did not allow it.” “Now Christianity is hated everywhere. It is a yoke for them, preventing them from living freely and freely committing sin. Goethe once expressed himself about Christianity this way: “I hate only two things: bedbugs and Christianity!” - look, what mockery, what blasphemy... when he was dying, he shouted: “More light! More light! - terrible words, which means that hellish darkness was already approaching him. That’s how they hate Christianity now and after death they go to the bottom of hell. And here, in silence, they are saved, like, for example, Father Theodul. His face was always the same as in the Gospel it is said about Jesus Christ that “His face is coming to Jerusalem” (Luke 9:53), so waxen... He no longer thought about anything worldly... I noticed this expression even in artists. For example, at one evening, Maikov and Polonsky read their works, and Maikov’s work was barely noticeable, flickered a little during his strong enthusiasm... But all the fullness belongs, of course, to the monks...” “People can know God as they improve on earth, but mainly in the future life. In heaven, disembodied blissful spirits are constantly improving, the lower ones imitate the higher ones. The highest are the Seraphim, but even they do not see God as He is, although every moment they are improving with great speed - they imitate God as much as possible. Seraphim are imitated by Cherubim, and so on, and, finally, man imitates Angels. Thus, imitating each other, everyone strives for perfection, cognizing God, but they will never be able to fully know Him, for the Lord God is an Infinite Being, and all other beings, as created by God, are limited. There was one attempt not only to become equal to God, but even to rise above Him, and it ended with this seraphim becoming lower than everyone else and immediately acquiring all the negative qualities for his pride and insolence. And so, the more you live here, the more and more you are convinced that the Lord looks only at the meek and humble. And that is why he hates pride so much because it is a satanic trait. If the Lord wants, for example, to announce something to you, then He announces His will to the Seraphim, they to the Cherubim, and so on, and the Guardian Angel announces it to you. So, for example, the Guardian Angel told you to go to Optina and stay there, and that, of course, was the will of God.” “They report that in one monastery, the Catherine Hermitage (not far from Moscow), at 10 o’clock in the morning they killed the abbot and his cell attendant and left safely. Yes, by now they would probably have been given an award for their dexterity. Now somehow they especially began to attack monasteries. But we must expect horrors... Now they are trying to abolish the death penalty... One nun had a dream. The Mother of God appeared to her and said that she should expect horrors... She predicted the Russian revolution, which came true.” “(Father stood in front of the uncurtained window near the icons; he pointed to the moon.) Look, what a picture... this remained for us as a consolation. No wonder the prophet David said: “Thou hast made me glad in Thy creation” (Ps. 91:5)... “Thou hast made me glad,” he says, although this is only a hint of that wondrous, unimaginable beauty that was originally created. We don’t know what the moon was like then, what the sun was like, what light... All this changed after the fall. Both the visible and invisible world have changed. The angels did not lose their original state, did not change, except that they became stronger in the struggle... The devil, after his fall, could still appear in heaven among the blessed spirits, but he could not do anything other than trickery and slander. The Lord still endured; his conversion was even possible. But when the devil destroyed Adam and Eve, then the Lord became very angry with him. And yet, even then the devil could appear in heaven. This is truly the incomprehensible goodness and long-suffering of God! And when Christ was crucified on the Cross, then it was already the end. “Behold, I saw Satan like lightning falling from heaven” (Luke 10:18)....” said the Lord.” “Father Ambrose was asked what monasticism is? “Bliss,” he answered. And indeed, this is such bliss that it is impossible to imagine more, but monasticism is not as easy as some people think, but also not as difficult and joyless as others say.” “The whole world is, as it were, under the influence of some force that takes possession of the mind, will, and all the spiritual forces of a person. One lady said that she had a son. He was religious, chaste... He got along with his comrades and became an unbeliever, depraved, as if someone had taken possession of him and was forcing him to do all this. It is obvious that this is an extraneous force, an evil force. Its source is the devil, and people are only instruments. This is the Antichrist coming into the world... Something dark, terrible is coming into the world... A person remains, as it were, even defenseless, he is so possessed by this evil force, and he does not realize what he is doing... Suicide is even suggested... Why is this happening? Because they don’t take up arms—they don’t have the name of Jesus and the sign of the cross with them. No one will agree to say the Jesus Prayer and the sign of the cross: these, they say, are such archaeological antiquities that have outlived their time.” “A woman cannot live without faith. Either she, after temporary disbelief, again returns to faith in God, or she begins to quickly decompose. A man is another matter: he can live without faith. He will become completely petrified, become a pillar of salt, and that is how he lives, numb. But a woman can’t do that.” “There is some kind of mysterious connection between the people and the Tsar. Whatever morality the Tsar has, such are the people. The Lord punishes the King in the person of the people, and the people in the person of the King.” “The faces of people of holy, pious life bear the imprint of this holiness - they have the peculiarity that when you look at them they somehow amaze and make a strong impression. And even after a long time they are not forgotten. I have seen such people. So, one day I thought: am I seeing a vision, for there was something unearthly..." “Everyone carries their cross, and you carry yours... Carrying the cross is necessary for the salvation of every Christian, and not just a monk. Yes, everyone carries the cross and carried it, and the Lord incarnate carried the Cross, and His Cross was the heaviest, as if it contained the crosses of all people. And note: God carries the Cross, and man helps Him (Simon of Cyrene) by taking the Cross from Him and carrying it himself. This means that we, carrying our crosses, help the Lord in carrying the Cross, that is, we are preparing to be His servants in heaven in the person of disembodied spirits... What a high purpose! “The mind is a self-propelled force, but it depends on us what to give it. Just as a millstone turns and it depends on the person what to put under it: wheat, rye or some poisonous herb, or seed. And the flour will come out either good or poisonous, depending on what was added. So that’s the mind, it will process everything, but you need to give it only good things.” “We think too abstractly about the torments of hell, as a result of which we forget about them. The world has completely forgotten about them. The devil inspired everyone there that neither he himself nor the torments of hell exist. And the holy fathers teach that betrothal to Gehenna, just like to bliss, begins on earth, that is, sinners begin to experience hellish torment while still on earth, and the righteous begin to experience bliss... only with the difference that in the next century both will be incomparably stronger.” “Right now we are talking, but neither I nor you know why or for what purpose. But I confidently say: that means it’s necessary. They say that all the events of our lives will be revealed to us at the hour of our death, and then we will understand everything. Our whole life will appear before us as if written in a book.” “They ask: what is the easiest way to escape? One only humbles himself, and does not work, and the other only works all day long in all obediences, and does not humble himself - this was the question they asked the Monk Barsanuphius the Great, and he answered (I, of course, speak approximately to his words): “Child, this is not how you pose the question. What does the psalm say? “See my humility and my labor, and forgive all my sins” (Ps. 24:18)... From here it is clear that true humility never happens without work, and true work never happens without humility. One must necessarily be accompanied by the other, otherwise we will not receive any benefit. And if we both work and humble ourselves, as it is said in the psalm: “See my humility and my labor,” then we will receive a reward, forgiveness of sins, as it is said: “and forgive all my sins”... Therefore, it is necessary to practice both.” “For a long time I could not understand what connecting the mind with the heart is. Essentially speaking, this means the union of all the forces of the soul together, in order to direct them all towards God, which is impossible if they are separated. I see this law of unity not only in the case of the Jesus Prayer, but everywhere. For example, when in a war with the enemy we do not have a united force, the enemy, attacking first one detachment and then another, will soon defeat the entire army, destroying one detachment after another. Likewise, the sun, shining on the earth, cannot ignite anything, for its rays scatter over the entire surface of the earth and, in particular, some place. But if we take glass and with this glass we concentrate all the rays at one point, then wood, paper or anything else placed there will ignite. The same can be said about music. What beauty does a note or sound have, taken individually? or in disarray? One might say none. But these same sounds in the works of brilliant artist-poets perceive great power and beauty.” “One thought constantly stands before me: how can I save my soul? There is nothing good in me... I receive letters of gratitude, and I personally receive gratitude. But I have nothing to do with it. It is the grace of God that works through me through their faith, and I personally have nothing to do with it... And I think: isn’t this what is said in the Gospel: “They will say to the Lord: Lord! Have I not done many miracles and powers in Your name? - and the Lord answers them: Get away from Me, I don’t know you!” (Matthew 7:22–23). Only here, in this place, did I recognize all my fall and sinfulness; Well, nothing, nothing is good. True, thank God, there are no particularly great sins, but it’s like this every day... Before I thought I had something, but now I have nothing. This is what I say and I recognize myself as such. These are not just words. And I thank the Lord that at least I have this consciousness of my sinfulness. And I hope that the Lord, in His mercy, will save me: “he will not despise a humble and contrite heart” (Ps. 50:18)... I also take comfort in the words of Father Anatoly, the great elder: “Sinful Anatoly has nothing, unless someone sighs for him to God?” And I sincerely ask everyone to pray for me... I compare myself with my predecessors, the elders Father Macarius, Ambrose, Anatoly and I see all my insignificance.” “We understand the power of fasting and its significance if only from the fact that it is somehow especially hated by the enemy. They come to me for advice and confession; among other things, I advise you to observe holy fasts. They agree with everything, but when it comes to fasting: I don’t want to, I can’t, and so on. The enemy is agitating - he doesn’t want the holy fasts to be observed.” “Do you know what the devil’s tactics are?.. He, knowing that a person has a more or less serious sin, tries to prevent the person from repenting of it. To this end, he tries in every possible way to diminish the severity of the sin, instilling the following thoughts: “It doesn’t matter... God will forgive you for this” and the like. And he even tries to make a person forget about this sin. But when this person somehow manages to confess a sin to his confessor during confession, the devil in every possible way increases the severity of the sin, suggesting that this sin is so great that God will never forgive him. And he tries to lead a person into despondency and despair. You see how cunning the enemy is.” “One day a worldly person comes to me and asks me the following question: “How to walk the path of God? How to learn it? Tell me this in a few words." I even thought a little: what should I tell him? And then I say: “Have you read the Psalter?” - "Read". - “Well, it says there: “The Lord will teach the meek His way” (Ps. 24:9). This means, first of all, you need to know that the Lord Himself teaches the ways of the Lord, but he does not teach everyone, but only those who are meek, who humble themselves. So, you too, humble yourself, be meek, and the Lord will not leave you, and He Himself will teach you how to walk the path of the Lord and what it consists of.” “God bless you, Father, you explained everything to me,” he told me then and left.” “The first gift from the Lord in prayer is attention, that is, when the mind can stay in the words of prayer without being distracted by thoughts. But with such attentive, undistracted prayer, the heart is still silent. This is the point, that our feelings and thoughts are separated, there is no agreement in them. Thus, the first prayer, the first gift, is prayer without distraction. The second prayer, the second gift is internal prayer, when the mind and heart are already united, that is, when thoughts and feelings are directed in harmony towards God. Until now, every fight with passion ended in the victory of passion over man, and from now on, when the mind and heart pray together, that is, feelings and thoughts in God, passions are already defeated. Defeated, but not destroyed, if they can come to life through negligence - here the passions are like dead men lying in coffins, and the prayer book, as soon as the passion stirs, beats it and defeats it. The third gift is spiritual prayer. I can’t say anything about this prayer. Here there is no longer anything earthly in a person, however, a person still lives on earth, walks on the earth, sits, drinks, eats, but with his mind and thoughts he is entirely in God, in heaven. Even the ministries of the angelic ranks were revealed to some. This prayer is a prayer of vision. Those who have achieved this prayer see spiritual objects, for example, the state of a person’s soul, just as we see sensory objects... They already look with the eyes of the spirit... Whether they are constantly in a state of vision or at times - I don’t know. They do not talk about what they see and rarely reveal their visions to others. Often we read that such and such a saint saw a vision and was forbidden to reveal what he saw. Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov tried to write something about this prayer. I don’t know if he had it, but he certainly had it internally... It is possible to pray for the gift of attentive prayer, but to pray for the gift of high states of prayer, I believe, is sinful. This must be left entirely to God.” “The Gospel parable about talents says that one servant buried his talent, given to him by God, in the ground. Some people understand the words “buried in the ground” literally, as it is. Actually, this means that he spent it on earthly things. Man used all his talent, given by God, exclusively to acquire earthly, vain, perishable things; he acquired nothing for the future, eternal life. So, for example, professors, scientists (not to mention those people who directly corrupt themselves and others with their teaching), if they only limited themselves to scientific knowledge, without doing anything useful for their soul, then, of course, they buried their talent in the ground. And you, leaving all this decay, went to the holy monastery, which means you did not bury your talent.” “There was a rich man, and suddenly he became a beggar. It's hard, but it can be fixed. He was healthy, he became sick - and this can be corrected, for Christ is with him and with the sick person. If you lose faith, it is a great misfortune. It is so terrible that a person has no support.” Here are a few short conversations with Fr. Barsanuphius with novice Nikolai. They often arose between times, on the go, but there was always something spiritually significant in them, since the Elder could not talk about trifles and his mind was constantly on the path of spiritual salvation, and this despite the fact that he had to take care of bricks, cucumbers, sponges, etc. as the head of the hermitage. “Once, when I repented to Father that I had slept an extra hour or so, Father said: - It’s the demon of despondency that is fighting you. He fights everyone. He fought both the Monk Seraphim of Sarov, and the Monk Ephraim the Syrian, who composed the well-known prayer: “Lord and Master of my life...” Look what he put in the first place: “The spirit of idleness,” and as a consequence of idleness: “do not give me despondency,” he says. This is a fierce demon. He attacks you in your sleep, and on others in reality - with despondency, melancholy... As best he can, he attacks. After all, you cannot say that you are idle. - Yes, Father, there is almost no free minute. “Well, he attacks you with sleep.” - This is good! As long as there are beggars, thank God, everything is fine, and they donate to the monastery, but when there are no beggars, there are no donations.” “- Father, how exactly should you reproach yourself? - How to reproach? It’s very simple: your conscience will immediately speak, it will immediately denounce you, and all you have to do is agree that you did something wrong, humbly turn to God with a prayer for forgiveness... - Yes, Father, at first it will become unpleasant, you will reproach yourself, you will expose yourself, and after a short time you will forget about it, as if nothing had happened. “At least for a minute, at least for half a minute, but you definitely have to reproach yourself like that.” Our job is to reproach ourselves, at least for a short time, and leave the rest to God. It’s good if we reproach ourselves for a little while. And for some this condition lasts longer, for others less. And there were holy fathers whose whole life was continuous self-reproach, a straight line without any breaks... When we reproach ourselves, we are filled with strength, we become stronger spiritually, but we don’t know why this is so. But this is the law of spiritual life.” “I’ve already told you, brother Nikolai, more than once and I’ll tell you again: the idea comes to me to leave everything and go to some cell. Life is becoming scary, brother Nikolai, scary. I’m just afraid to leave on my own and have no one to consult with. If Fr. were alive. Barnabas would have gone to him, but he was no longer there. But I’m afraid myself; I'm afraid, like a sentry, to leave the watch - they will shoot... In this situation, you begin to understand the words of St. Prophet David: “Save me, Lord!”... If we take only this part of the phrase, then it goes without saying that no one wants to perish and says: “Destroy me, Lord.” But he adds further: “as the saint is poor” (Ps. 11:2). There is no one to turn to, Lord, save me! Only now it becomes clear to me why the holy fathers fled from the world, namely, they fled... but I would like to run away into the desert too... - Father, how can one escape alone? You can't do it alone... - No no! You can’t do it alone, but you can do it alone with God! For example, Bishop Theophan repeatedly tried to give up everything and go into seclusion, but it was not God’s will. As if in response to his desire, he was moved to the episcopal see in Vladimir. And only a few years later he retired to his dear Vysha... Yes... one day you and I, Nikolai Mitrofanovich, will be at “Vysha”? Whether it’s early or late, it’s necessary...” “- Father, I have noticed that reading books that are godless and generally disagree with my worldview, although it does not change my views, still leaves some kind of sediment after these books. “Yes,” answered Father, “the holy fathers and our elders advised us to read books of their own direction and by reading to further strengthen and develop our convictions.” “Do you remember what Gospel was read today? - Sorry, Father, I forgot. – It said that the Jews, enraged at the Lord, took Him up to a mountain, “and they cast Him down, but He passed through the midst of them, walking” (Luke 4:29-30). What does this mean? In relation to the Lord Jesus, the meaning is clear, that is, that the Jews were so furious with Him that they wanted to throw Him off the mountain, but He, passing among them unharmed, went on His way. But in relation to us, this has a different meaning, namely: angry Jews denote passionate thoughts that are trying to plunge us into the abyss. But our mind passes through them unharmed and, having passed, leaves them behind itself and goes forward and forward, approaching the Heavenly Jerusalem - the Kingdom of Heaven. Notice that it not only passes through them, but goes further.” “- Nikolai Mitrofanovich! “I will tell you that hell really exists.” “You said that this is such and such a statement, but it’s not like that... - No, I didn’t say that. - So you said that she is like this. - No, I didn’t say that either. – And you say: “Excuse me, Father,” - it will be like a monk. “Self-justification is not a monastic matter; the great elder Father Anatoly once told me: “Never justify yourself.” - And if I, Father, am right? “It doesn’t matter whether you’re right or wrong, keep silent when they accuse you, and then say: “Sorry, I’m guilty.” - Well, okay, but if they say that you killed a person, then you shouldn’t make excuses? - Yes, keep silent and say: sorry. If he didn’t actually kill anyone, then maybe he killed someone with a word. Therefore, do not make excuses by recognizing yourself as a sinner and guilty of everything. And because you say so, the Lord will later reveal to you that you were really to blame.” “What saint is commemorated today? Reverend Confessor Maxim? – Did you pay attention to the kontakion of this saint? – Give me Psalm 25 here. Read. - “The light that shines forth in thy soul, the vessel chosen to show thee, O all-blessed...” Here we are talking about the Jesus Prayer... Read on. - “Revealing the Divine end, you speak of inconceivable understandings, O blessed one, and the Trinity to all, Maxima, preach clearly, the Subsistent, the Beginningless.” – Well, now it’s clear why Father Ambrose always had the works of St. Maximus the Confessor under his pillow. His creations are very deep and mysterious." The words of the Monk Silouan of Athos “keep your mind in hell and do not despair,” denoting the highest spiritual degree of the person who can implement them in practice (like the Monk Silouan himself), are quite applicable to Fr. Barsanuphius. Diary of Fr. Although Nikon does not reflect the entire inner state of the Elder, his mentor, on many pages that humble fear of hellish flames that grew over time in the soul of Fr. Barsanuphia. These crimson bursts of fire, noted by Fr. Nikon in 1908–1910. “I spent the night in the same room with Father,” writes Fr. Nikon. “I usually don’t wake up at night... I woke up in the middle of the night and saw that for some reason Father got up from the sofa, on which he had lain down in the evening, and stood without getting dressed. I found it inconvenient to watch what Father was doing, so I turned to the wall and quickly fell asleep. (The next day) he told me: “What a terrible dream I had yesterday that night when we spent the night together... I even got up and prayed.” I told Father that I noticed how he woke up in the middle of the night - then Father told me this dream and added: “Yes, now I know how the enemy hates our Skete...” I will not write down this dream, because Father, having told it, considered it necessary to warn me that I should not talk about this to anyone.” It was a dream about hell, and not the only one..." “We were talking about some business, about letters... Suddenly Father interrupts the conversation with these words: “He really bothers me with dreams...” I understood what Father said, that is, that Father has terrible dreams from the devil. “You can become despondent and despair from such dreams,” Father continued, “I console myself with only one thing,” in the words of Bishop Ignatius. He says that first the devil attacks in dreams, and then begins to appear in reality. Well, I think the Lord will not allow me to do this: where can I carry this? To see such horrors in reality... God, God!..." Father did not tell me these dreams, but he spoke about them more than once. And he even said that these dreams sometimes depict the torments of hell.” “Last night I stayed with Father until half an hour past midnight. While Father was listening to the evening prayers, I went to the prayer room to celebrate Pentecost, but suddenly Father quickly called me to him and said: “The torments of hell undoubtedly exist, and these torments will be material. The souls of both the righteous and sinners even have clothes. For example, the saints appeared in holy robes. There, perhaps, there will be cities, etc. Everyone sees hellish torment in the conditions of earthly existence, only it will not be this rough place, but a more subtle one, like a gaseous one... But all this will happen before the Last Judgment, and what will happen after it, no one knows, not even the Angels. This is a secret...” Father said something about a mirror, explaining the hellish torments of its similarity, he also spoke about reflections in the mirror, but I didn’t quite understand it.” “When Father went to rest, he told me: “Yes, everything that the Holy Church teaches is the truth, and torments beyond the grave exist...” “Father was sitting on the sofa, and I was opposite him at the window. And Father said this: “Of course, I don’t tell anyone or show it, but the horror of hellish torment is always in my mind. But I use it for my humility. And how this feeling of horror humbles!...” - and then the whole conversation was about hellish torments, which modern scientists do not recognize as existing. “Let us stand up and pray, that the Lord will deliver us from the torments of hell.” “I remember once Father told me that the Last Judgment, according to the teachings of the holy fathers, will be at midnight, and will suddenly come upon all those living on earth at that hour. And we must constantly prepare for it so that it does not find us unprepared. “I won’t hide from you what happened to me tonight,” said Father. “I woke up, and suddenly the thought struck me: now there will be a Last Judgment!” I have never had such a bright and lively performance. I stood up, all objections regarding signs and the like were put aside: all this was already there, only we did not notice (as indeed no one who lives carelessly would notice them). Lord, have mercy!” “Father speaks very often about the torments of hell, for he sees them almost every day or every night in his dreams. So today Father told me that he had a terrible dream.” “This morning Father took the Bible, opened the Third Book of Ezra and, pointing to the place marked with a blue pencil, said to me: “Read.” I read: “For the age has lost its youth, and the times are approaching old age, for the age is divided into twelve parts, and nine parts of it and half a tenth have already passed away, and that which is after half a tenth remains” (3Ezra 14:10-12). And Father closed the Bible... Then Father sat down on the sofa and began to say: “In general, this book is mysterious. Many have made calculations, and for most the end falls on our time, that is, on the twentieth century. And indeed, there are many signs. We will already be gone, but you will be a participant and contemporary of all these horrors. You will live to see terrible times. And who can vouch? Maybe I’ll be alive too...” Then Father spoke about the Jews, about China and about the fact that everyone is going against Russia, or rather, against the Church of Christ, for the Russian people are God-bearers, the true faith of Christ is preserved in them.” “Yesterday Father told me the following: “The Apocalypse says: “Blessed is he who reads the words of this book” (Rev. 1:3)... Since it is written, it means it is really so, for the words of Scripture are the words of the Holy Spirit. But what is this bliss? Moreover, we do not understand anything from it, they may object to this. Perhaps inner consolation from reading Divine words? You can also think this way: what is incomprehensible to us now will be clear when the time described there comes. So judge: who reads the Apocalypse now? Almost exclusively in monasteries and in Theological Academies and seminaries, out of necessity, because students need to write essays and pass exams. And so, in the world, rarely anyone reads. And from here it is clear that the one who reads the Apocalypse before the end of the world will be truly blessed, for he will understand what is happening, and by understanding, he will prepare himself. While reading, he will see in the events described in the Apocalypse certain contemporary events.” This is how two monks talked - an elder and a novice. The unity of their souls was strong. Nikolai constantly felt Father’s love for himself, but he could not help but notice that Father also needed the warmth of a kindred soul. After one conversation, Nikolai wrote down: “When Father said this, I was standing at his side, in the doorway, near the sofa on which Father was sitting under the portraits of the elders. I remember this picture well: it is twilight in the cell, only the lamp is burning in front of the image of the Mother of God, illuminating Her Divine Face; There is silence all around, you can only hear the clock’s pendulum ticking, and Father, with his head open, all white, sits and pronounces his deeply thoughtful and meaningful words, perhaps prophetic, and I stand near this great old man, remain silent and look at my dear Father.” “The priest’s cell life is characterized by simplicity,” writes Nikolai, “and he is also simple in his dealings with the brethren.” “During the time of his first monasticism, there was simplicity in the Abba’s treatment of his disciples,” said Fr. Barsanuphius. “Abba was a father, not a master or boss who cannot be approached. The same simplicity existed under our elders in our Skete. Then, after Father Fr. Ambrose, Fr. Anatoly, this simplicity began to disappear. Now they even tell me that I treat things too simply. But somehow I can’t do it any other way. If some people abuse my simplicity, then it is not my fault. Because of some people, I cannot develop a cold official relationship with everyone. What do you think about this? - I, Father, completely agree with you. This conversation took place in the summer in our old building. It was evening. Father had some free time, and he and I walked around the Skete... This very evening can serve as proof of Father’s simplicity: we walked like father and son, the conversation was the most simple, sincere, what’s on our minds is on our tongues. There was not the slightest tension between us, but Father did not lose his senile dignity, and I did not lose my reverence and respect for him. Despite the simplicity of the relationship, I was still a student, and Father was an elder.” One of the most constant topics of their conversations was the Jesus Prayer. Father Barsanuphius was the doer of this prayer, he tried to read everything that was written about it in the ascetic writings of the holy fathers, and had many of his own observations, which he shared with his disciple, whom he tried to involve in this saving monastic work - and not without success. Here are a few extracts from the diary of Nikolai Belyaev, the words of Elder Barsanuphius about the Jesus Prayer: 1. Let your first thing, as soon as you wake up, be the sign of the cross, and your first words be the words of the Jesus Prayer. 2. The path of the Jesus Prayer is the shortest, most convenient path. But do not complain, for everyone who follows this path experiences sorrow. Once you have decided to follow this path, then do not complain; if you encounter difficulties and sorrows, you must endure. 3. Always have the Jesus Prayer with you: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” and open your thoughts. All the holy fathers say that it is impossible to go through the Jesus Prayer without testing. The name of Jesus destroys all the devil’s attacks; they cannot resist the power of Christ. All the wiles of the devil crumble into dust. We don't know why and how this happens... 4. Acquiring inner prayer is necessary. Without it you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. External mental prayer is not sufficient, for it occurs in a person in whom passions are present. So some say: “What is the point of praying? What's the use? Great! For the Lord, “give prayer to the one who prays,” 26 will give a person prayer either before death itself, or even after death... Just don’t leave it. 5. Recently, a hieromonk asked me in a letter about the Jesus Prayer, asking me to indicate books. I answered him. But it is clear that he wants to learn the Jesus Prayer from one reading. This is impossible. It is necessary to know it through personal experience... The Jesus Prayer is a boundless sea. It is impossible to exhaust it. It is impossible to describe everything in books... Many begin, but few finish. Therefore, there are few who have inner prayer. This great work is now almost completely forgotten... No one even talks about it. 6. I asked Father: “Can the Jesus Prayer be in a passionate person?” “Maybe,” Father answered, “maybe, but here’s how: in the first period of the Jesus prayer, the passion, acting in a person, overcomes him, and in the second period, with any arousal of passion, a person overcomes passion. Passion remains in a person until death, and dispassion can only be relative. We can see this from the fact that many ascetics, like the Monk Jacob, after spending their entire lives in ascetic endeavors, fell into sin. Whoever works in the feat of prayer undoubtedly feels the movement of passions in himself, but in a person who has achieved inner prayer, passion is like a dead man, it can no longer powerfully torment him, and the stronger prayer acts in a person, the more it is established in the heart of the ascetic, the quieter and quieter the passions act, they seem to sleep.” To my question: is the stillness of thought, that is, is attentiveness during prayer generally the first gift or only in the Jesus Prayer? – Father answered that only in the Jesus Prayer. 7. Now they decide this,” says Father, “pray, don’t pray, you still won’t achieve prayer... Now those days are gone... This, of course, is an idea inspired by the devil. The Jesus Prayer is necessary to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. It is not useful for many to have inner prayer, for they can become proud of it. Therefore, God gives prayer to the one praying who has not yet achieved inner prayer, either before death, or even after death, for even after death the Jesus Prayer continues to grow. U o. Barsanuphia was a voluminous manuscript - a monastic scripture about the Jesus Prayer, a copy of an original manuscript from the beginning of the 19th century. “Elder Basilisk,” he said, “was a simple man, even illiterate. But the constant practice of the Jesus Prayer revealed to him the great mysteries of God. Elder Basilisk labored together with Zosima Verkhovsky, a famous ascetic of the last century. Zosima Verkhovsky was from an old noble family, received an excellent education, but such a gift as Fr. Basilisk, did not. This latter often told Zosima his feelings when performing the Jesus Prayer, and Zosima wrote down what the Elder told him, and so a whole book was compiled about the effect of the Jesus Prayer on the soul. But this book is difficult, and it cannot be distributed, since much in it can tempt a person who has no idea about the Jesus Prayer. To fully understand this book, you need to go through it through experience. People like Fr. Macarius, they would understand it, but for those with little experience in spiritual life it is not suitable, since it is a height.” At the end of 1908, Fr. Barsanuphius gave Nikolai Belyaev his poem “Jesus Prayer” printed on separate sheets of paper. “There is nothing made up here,” Fr. told him. Barsanuphius, “all this flowed from my heart.” Nikolai copied the poem into his diary, accompanying it with the following afterword: “I really like this poem. I like its depth, its strength; I like it because it is a teaching that affirms and raises the strength of the reader; This is the most correct, true view of the feat of prayer. I have internalized this view; only the Lord would help me to put it into practice to the best of my ability. Brother Kirill (Zlenko) gave it to me to read for the first time. I took the piece of paper, thinking that this poem was simple, ordinary, judging by the title, although it was spiritual, but I could not imagine its depth. I started reading, and when I read it, my heart immediately responded as if it were something dear and dear, although I didn’t know then that Father had written it. I immediately saw that there were not only empty and only beautiful words here, but that it was life-giving. Subsequently, while reading it, I began to notice a deep meaning in the very expressions... Yes, indeed, “there is nothing written here, it all poured out of the heart,” for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” An anxious soul has nowhere to rest. Sickness and labor, great suffering, A whirlwind of confusion, contempt, blame The ascetic is met; he sees How sorrows arise from all sides, And he stands full of doubts Anxious, heavy thoughts, bewilderments, Overwhelmed by languor and melancholy. He knows neither joy nor peace, And he doesn’t expect help from anywhere, As soon as from the Savior Christ. And his evil enemies shout to him from everywhere: “Whoa! Let him come down from the cross!” My friend in the Lord! Go for it! Do not stop the great, difficult battle, And don’t leave the battlefield at all - Don't give up divine prayer! Continue in the feat until death, until the end: Victory awaits you, spiritual fighter. Let not the bones of your soul be crushed, Let her strongholds and pillars not shake, When the malicious guests approach her - There are countless crowds of demonic thoughts. Smite them in the almighty name of the Lord; Persecuted by Him, the enemy will be scattered! Covered with wisdom filled with humility, This robe of the imperishable Divinity, To the invisible enemies of spiritual salvation Don't bring victory to celebration! Endure insults and persecution without complaint. Don't leave the sad path - Spiritual benefits of the sacred pledge; Live for eternity, for God, The one true and eternal beauty, - Dedicate your entire life to Him. Throwing away false hopes and dreams, Take courage in the harsh feat, And you will see life in a new light. And the hour will strike, the time will come, Your spiritual warfare will cease, An involuntary, painful tribute to passions; And with joy you will lift the burden Misfortunes, troubles, persecutions and sorrows. In your soul free from passions Heavy doubts and anxiety will disappear, And the spiritual light will shine in her, - Heir to the heavenly palace, A wonderful world will be established - paradise, And her unity will be accomplished with the Lord. Your sadness will disappear without a trace, And you will see, full of amazement, Another country's shining distance, Lands of the living, lands of promise - The future reward for the feat, The poem is accompanied by several notes by the author, the first of which is rather not a note, but a preface to the entire work: “Reverend John Climacus says: “Strike your adversaries in the Name of Jesus, for there is no strongest weapon either in heaven or on earth” (Ladder, word 28, chapter 7). The teaching of the Holy Fathers on the Jesus Prayer is set forth in particular detail by Bishop Ignatius (Works of Bishop Ignatius. St. Petersburg, 1889, Tuzov’s edition). Also by Bishop Theophan the Recluse (Letters on spiritual life. M., 1882) and the elder of Optina Pustyn, Hieroschemamonk Ambrose. The great contemporary ascetics mentioned above experienced the path of the Jesus Prayer; therefore, their thoughts on this subject amaze readers with their strength and depth. Especially the works of Bishop Ignatius arouse in the reader a salutary zeal to follow the path of prayer commanded by the holy fathers not only to monks, but also to the laity - a path that is difficult and sorrowful at the beginning, but joyful at the end.” On December 20, 1908, Fr. died. John of Kronstadt. In Optina they found out about this on the 24th. “As soon as they found out,” wrote Nikolai Belyaev, “Batiushka immediately came to church (for Vespers on Sunday) and a requiem service was served. After the funeral service, Father said a short word about Fr. John: “He was a burning and shining lamp” 27; he had the gift of high inner prayer. His activity was so great that one wonders how his weak body could endure it. And we remember the words of the Apostle: “The power of God is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9)... It has been noticed that people of high spiritual life usually depart from this life on the day of remembrance of such a saint, who at one time labored in a similar, related feat, or had the same gift as him. So is Fr. John died on the day of remembrance of Saint Ignatius the God-Bearer, who was the founder of the internal Jesus Prayer... Let us pray with our strength for the repose of his soul.” Sergei Nilus wrote down from the words of Elena Andreevna Voronova, writer, spiritual daughter of Fr. Barsanuphius, dream of Fr. Barsanuphia. “This is what I dreamed,” Father told her, “on the night of February 17-18 (1909). You see, what a dream - I even remember the dates!... I dream that I am walking through some beautiful area and I know that the purpose of my journey is to receive the blessing of Fr. John of Kronstadt. And now a majestic building, like a church, of indescribable beauty and dazzling whiteness appears to my eyes. And I know that this building belongs to Fr. John. I enter it and see a huge hall made of white marble, in the middle of which rises a marvelously beautiful white marble staircase, wide and majestic, like the entire church of the great Kronstadt shepherd. The staircase begins from the ground with a platform, and its steps, interspersed with similar platforms, rush like a straight arrow into an endless height and go to the very sky. On the lower platform stands Fr. John in snow-white robes shining with bright light. I approach him and accept his blessing. ABOUT. John takes me by the hand and says: “You and I need to climb these stairs!” And we began to rise. And suddenly it occurred to me: how is this so? - because Fr. John died; How can I walk with him as if he were alive? With this thought in mind, I tell him: - Father! Yes, you're dead, aren't you? -What are you saying? - he exclaimed in response to me, - Father John is alive, Father John is alive! This is where I woke up... What an amazing dream, isn’t it? – asked Elena Andreevna Fr. Barsanuphius, - and what a joy it is to hear from the lips of Fr. John is evidence of the immutable truth of our faith!” To continue the story about the spiritual connection of Fr. Barsanuphius with Fr. John of Kronstadt, we will cite one very significant case, somewhat violating the chronology of our biography. In the book by I. M. Kontsevich “Optina Pustyn and Its Time” the following story is given (taken from “Orthodox Rus'” of 1952): “In 1909, a rumor spread throughout St. Petersburg that a sixteen-year-old young man Pavel Ilyin, possessed by some illness inexplicable to science, was brought to the Liturgy at the Ioannovsky Petrograd Monastery on Karpovka and here he was miraculously healed at the tomb of Fr. John of Kronstadt. It happened like this. During the Cherubim, he broke free from the hands of fifteen strong men who were holding him, and then flew through the air over the people to the western gate of the church and fell unconscious at the entrance to the church. They took him unconscious and brought him to the tomb of Fr. John. Here the patient woke up for a short time and then fell soundly asleep. During his sleep, Fr. appeared to him. John gave instructions, confessed and ordered to go to the Valaam Monastery. What happened in the dream? The patient, upon waking up, did not want to talk about it, and if not for the fragmentary words spoken out loud during sleep: “Oh. John, forgive me, pray, I will do it,” then it is possible that the patient would have hidden everything. But when he heard these words from those around him and realized that they knew about what had happened, he revealed everything. This is what happened to him. He saw Fr. John sitting in a chair at his tomb. Father John told him: “You see me in a form in which no one has seen me. Serve a memorial service for me, as established by the Church. But the Great God wants to glorify me. The time will come, and prayer services will be held for me”; then he blew on the sick man, blessed him and added: “In due time I will tell you what you will need to do for complete healing.” And after these words he disappeared. Those around saw at this time how the patient was gnawing with his teeth the marble tomb of Fr. John and shouted in a wild voice: “O great saint and prophet John! I’m going out, I’m going out... But not quite...” Of course, it was not the patient who screamed, but the demon that lived inside him. After this, Paul no longer suffered so much from his illness, but was not yet completely recovered. In the same 1909, he moved to Vyborg, enrolled as a novice at the Valaam Monastery and lived at the bishop’s house in the town of Serdobol on the Humpel estate. Here he performed obedience in the garden and served as a reader at the church. In 1911, October 19 - the day of remembrance of St. John of Rylsky and the namesake of Fr. John of Kronstadt, the Lord deigned to show His new mercy to the sick Paul through Fr. John. This time the following happened to him. In the evening of this day, after the all-night vigil, Brother Pavel, while reading an akathist to the Mother of God, came into a state of admiration. A wondrous vision was revealed to his spiritual gaze. Initially, Fr. appeared in glory. John of Kronstadt with Venerable John of Rila. Then St. Paul of Thebes and St. Athanasius of Athos and many other reverend fathers. They all greeted each other with joyful cries: Hail, John; Rejoice, Paul; Rejoice Athanasius!..." And finally, the Mother of God Herself appeared behind them in indescribable glory, at whose appearance the choir of reverend fathers solemnly sang the song: "To the chosen Voivode victorious!..." After this, Fr. John of Kronstadt approached Brother Paul and said: “Now get out of your body and follow us with your soul.” It was very difficult for Paul to fulfill this command, but he fulfilled it and followed the holy fathers. “They showed me,” said Paul, “first the heavenly abodes and pleasures intended for the virtuous, and then the torment of sinners. Just as the glory and bliss of the righteous, so the torment of sinners defies description. When everything was shown, Fr. John of Kronstadt began to instruct me on how to live, and in order to receive final healing, he ordered me to re-enter my body and go to Optina Pustyn to the elder Fr. Barsanuphius." With these words, Brother Paul ended his story about what he saw in a state of admiration. In November 1911 he went to Fr. Barsanuphius, accompanied by the Valaam hierodeacon, named Barsanuphius. The elder was warned about the arrival of the sick man, received him, confessed and gave him communion, and after this the final healing followed. Until 1912, the healed Pavel, already completely healthy, continued to live in Serdobol, and then was called up to serve military service... From the notes he wrote in his own hand, it is clear what disease he suffered from and for what reason. During his stay in Moscow, Pavel fell into dire need. He could not find work for himself anywhere, and all his relatives and acquaintances abandoned him. Need drove him to despondency and despair, and thoughts of suicide repeatedly came to him. At one of these moments, a mysterious old man suddenly appeared to him and said: “I will help you if you certify in writing with your own blood that you will be faithful to me both here on earth and after your death.” “Who are you that I should believe in you and trust you?” – asked Pavel. “I am the one,” answered the one who appeared, “whom your Church hates!” - “Okay, I will be faithful to you!” - said the young man, blinded by despair, and gave the required subscription. “Well, now you must throw off this extra burden from your neck,” said the mysterious old man and pointed to the cross. The young man took off the cross and thus renounced Christ and sold his soul to the devil. For this renunciation of Christ, an evil spirit entered into him and from then on he became possessed. It was from this spirit of possession that Fr. healed him. John of Kronstadt, partly directly, and partly through the medium of the Optina Elder Barsanuphius.” Directing this Pavel to Fr. Barsanuphius, Fr. John thereby, as it were, directed all those who resorted to his spiritual help during his life to Optina Pustyn, showing them - after his death - the path along which they followed. Fr. reposed. John, and just as after the death of Fr. Barnabas of Gethsemane, his spiritual children, and everyone who rushed to him in extreme, disastrous circumstances of life, went to the Optina elders... The spiritual life of Russia became more and more concentrated in Optina. “Optina Pustyn is not some unknown corner, lost on the paths and crossroads of the world - it, with the death of Fr. John of Kronstadt,” wrote Sergei Nilus, “has become perhaps the most important center of the Orthodox-Russian spirit: what happens in it, as in the center, must inevitably respond in one way or another, both on the periphery, and on the entire organism of Russian, and with it, universal Orthodoxy.” In the morning and evening all the inhabitants of the Skete came to Fr. Barsanuphius to take a blessing - for the day’s work, for the night... “I have provided,” wrote Fr. Nikon in his diary, - I felt great love in Father for me, unworthy, and for the cell attendants, and for others. The very words of his speech breathe love, the purest tenderness... This is how a gentle, loving father can relate to his children. The ease of handling sometimes amazes me. This is the most sincere, heartfelt simplicity... Father’s virtues, faith, humility, love, spiritual strength, the seriousness of his view of the meaning of life and monasticism are now more noticeable to me, and I will say the words of Fr. Anatoly: What a man we have in Skete!” Hegumen Innocent (Pavlov), who began his monastic journey in the Skete of Optina Pustyn, recalled several decades later: “He was a wonderful old man who had the gift of clairvoyance, which I myself experienced when he accepted me into the monastery and confessed me for the first time. I was speechless with horror, seeing in front of me not a person, but an angel in the flesh, who reads my innermost thoughts, reminds me of facts that I had forgotten... I was obsessed with unearthly fear. He encouraged me and said: “Don’t be afraid, it’s not me, sinful Barsanuphius, but God revealed to me about you. During my life, don’t tell anyone what you are experiencing now, but after my death you can talk.” Further about. Innocent recalls how the Elder received the brethren, “slowly asking questions, listening and giving instructions. At the same time, he treated both the elders and the very last in exactly the same way... He knew to the subtleties the mental structure of everyone. It happened, after confession or revelation of thoughts, no matter how sorrow, sadness and despondency oppressed the soul, everything was replaced by a joyful mood, and it happened that you flew from the Elder as if on wings of joy and consolation.” When novice Nikolai Belyaev underwent a commission in Kozelsk with a view to conscripting him as a soldier (it turned out that he was not accepted due to dilated veins in his leg), Fr. Barsanuphius was especially attentive to him. They once had this conversation: “I have made many plans for you, but as God pleases... Maybe when you return, I will already be lying in the damp ground... Or maybe I will no longer live here, but in another cell, even in a forest... You will come and ask: where is Father? They will tell you: over there... You come to my cell, knock, my cell attendant will come out and tell you that Father does not receive anyone. And you say: “Still, report me, say that Nikolai Belyaev has come.” - “I’ll report, but he won’t receive you.” He goes to report, and suddenly you hear someone shuffling their feet on the floor, and a bent old man comes out and says: “Brother Nikolai, is it really you?” - “I, Father... is it really you? How old you have become!” - “Well, how are you?” - “Well, I’m all scattered...” - “Well, let’s get together again, we’ll live here with you...” But could this be? How do you think? “And Father pressed me to his chest,” writes Nikolai. - Dear Father! Who can replace you for me?!” This tenderness, this warmth was also felt by worldly people. Here, for example, is an incident recorded from the words of Fr. Barsanuphia Nikolai Belyaev: “Yesterday, a young girl serving as a maid in Kaluga brought a gift to Father: a copper cross and velvet air embroidered with silver. “It touches my heart,” Father says about her, “this girl is about eighteen years old. I had it in 1905. Having visited Optina, she had a desire to visit again and bring Father a gift. To do this, she decided to save money. She now receives 1 ruble more than before, exactly 5 rubles a month. For three whole years she saved money. Finally, I saved up and fulfilled my desire, namely: I went to Kyiv to pray at the Pechersk miracle workers and other Kyiv shrines and buy a gift there for Father Barsanuphius in Optina. I bought the cross for 7 rubles, and the air for 10 rubles, which means 17 rubles in total, and the trip to Kyiv itself cost 20 rubles, which comes out to 37 rubles, and in Optina she will spend how much longer she will live. And now he is blissful. “I,” he says, “are now calm: I took a blessing from the Kyiv saints of God, made a gift to Father... Thank God!” Of course, her sacrifice was accepted by God.” Such gratitude from a young soul to the Elder speaks volumes... The elder gathered his spiritual children in the prayer room of his monastery “hut” - sometimes there were, as he recalled, up to 15-17 people - they sat down wherever they could: three or four on a sofa, others on a bench or on chairs. In the semi-darkness, only the light of the green lamp flickered in front of the icon of the Savior. In the large icon-painting, a winged Angel in a white tunic seemed alive... Small room, low ceiling... Father sat in a wicker chair and spoke quietly. His conversations were always spiritually significant, but understandable to the simplest mind, since the Elder gave various examples from life in connection with every spiritual question - from his own past, from the lives of saints, from the world of literature and art, various cases... He quoted poetry. And it happened - and he prophesied. Some diligent spiritual children wrote down his conversations, and they were preserved. They are one of a kind and devoid of any cliches or commonplaces, reflecting in all their completeness the personality of this great old man of Optina Pustyn. Dreams and spiritual visions often enlivened his conversations, and he often told his dreams that had once happened, sometimes attributing them to some other person. “In the city of X. there lived a young officer leading an empty, distracted life. It seems that he never thought about religious issues,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, on the go, composing the figure of an “absent-minded” officer. - But this is what happened one day. The officer talked about it this way: “One day, when I came home, I felt bad. I went to bed and seemed to fall asleep. When I came to my senses, I saw that I was in some unfamiliar city. He looked sad. Large dilapidated gray houses loomed sadly against the pale sky. The streets are narrow, crooked, and in some places heaps of rubbish are piled up; people - not a soul. At least one human being! It was as if the city had been abandoned by its inhabitants in view of the enemy. I cannot convey this feeling of melancholy and despondency that gripped my soul. Lord, where am I? Finally, in the basement of one house, I saw two living and even familiar faces. Glory to Thee, Lord! But who are they? I began to think hard and remembered that these were two of my corps comrades who had died several years ago. They also recognized me and asked: “How, are you here too?” Despite the unusual nature of the meeting, I was still happy and asked them to show me where they lived. They led me into a damp dungeon, and I entered the room of one of them. “Friend,” I told him, “during your life you loved beauty and grace, you always had such a wonderful apartment, and now?” He did not answer, only with endless melancholy looked around the gloomy walls of his dungeon. “Where do you live?” – I turned to another. He stood up and, groaning, walked deeper into the dungeon. I did not dare to follow him and began to beg the other to take me out into the fresh air. He showed me the way. With great difficulty, I finally went out into the street, walked through several alleys, but a huge stone wall grew before my eyes; there's nowhere else to go. I turned around - and behind me stood the same high gloomy walls, I was as if in a stone sack. “Lord, save me!” – I exclaimed in despair and woke up. When I opened my eyes, I saw that I was on the edge of a terrible abyss and some monsters were trying to push me into this abyss. Horror gripped my entire being. "Lord, help me!" - I cry with all my heart and come to my senses. Lord, where have I been, where am I now? A dull, monotonous plain covered with snow. Some cone-shaped mountains can be seen in the distance. Not a soul! I'm coming. There is a river in the distance, covered with thin ice. There are some people walking on the other side, they are walking in a whole line and repeating: “Oh, grief! oh, woe! I decide to walk across the river. The ice cracks and breaks, and monsters rise from the river, trying to grab me. Finally, I'm on the other side. The road goes uphill. It’s cold, and there’s endless melancholy in my soul. But in the distance there is a light, some kind of tent has been pitched, and there are people in it. Thank God I'm not alone! I approach the tent. I recognize my worst enemies in the people sitting in the tent... “Oh, we got you, my dear, you won’t leave us alive!” – they exclaimed with evil joy and rushed at me. “Lord, save me and have mercy!” – I exclaimed and open my eyes. What is this? I am lying in a coffin, there are a lot of people around me, they are serving a memorial service... I see an old priest. He was distinguished by a high spiritual life and possessed the gift of clairvoyance. He quickly came up to me and said: “Did you know that you were a soul in hell? Don’t say anything now, calm down!” Since then, the young man has changed dramatically. He left the regiment and chose another activity. Every day I began to visit the church and often receive Holy Communion. The vision of hell left an indelible impression on him. Remembering death and hell is very beneficial for the soul. “Remember your last and you will never sin!” 28 However, remembering the sweets of heaven can also protect a person from falling. “In one monastery there lived a monk named Pimen,” Fr. continued his conversation. Barsanuphius. – He was from the Little Russians, illiterate, already an old man of about seventy. Out of obedience, he chopped wood, carried water, and lit a fire in the hearth. The monastery cook was distinguished by a hot-tempered character, often, when angry, he beat Fr. Pimen with anything - a poker, a grab handle, a broom. No one has ever seen Fr. Pimen got angry with the cook or said an offensive word to him. Sometimes one of the brothers will come up to him: “It hurts you, oh. Pimen? “Nothing, it hit me on the hump,” he will answer, and his old face will light up with a gentle smile. One day a certain hieromonk of this monastery fell asleep while praying and had a dream. He saw a vast garden filled with trees of extraordinary beauty; the trees were covered with fruits emitting a subtle fragrance. Who is the owner of this wonderful garden? - thought the hieromonk and suddenly sees Fr. Pimena. “Father Pimen, how are you here?!” - he exclaimed. “The Lord gave me this - this is my dacha. When my soul becomes heavy, I go here and console myself.” - “Can you give me the fruits of paradise?” - “Why, with pleasure, give me your robe.” The hieromonk gave it, and Fr. Pimen poured many wonderful fruits into it. At this time, the hieromonk saw his late father, who was a priest. “Dear, dear, and here you are!” - he exclaimed joyfully and stretched out his hands to him: the end of the mantle fell out of his hands, and with it the fruits fell to the ground, and the hieromonk woke up. It was morning. The hieromonk went to the window of his cell and heard a cry: “Oh, you scoundrel! - the cook shouted. “Again I brought little water, I need all the tubs to be filled, but you didn’t look at all, you brute!” The cook shouted, swearing, and berated Fr. Pimen used a poker as much as he could. The hieromonk left. “Leave him,” he turned to the cook. “Father Pimen, where were you now?” – the hieromonk asked him. “Yes, I fell asleep a little in the kitchen and, out of senile memory, forgot to bring enough water, which brought upon myself the just displeasure of the cook.” - “No, oh. Pimen, don’t hide from me where you were now?” - “Where was I? – answered Fr. Pimen. - In the same place as you. The Lord, by His ineffable mercy, has prepared this abode for me.” - “What would have happened if I had not dropped the fruit?” “Then they would have stayed with you, and you would have woken up and found them in your robe, but only then would I have left the monastery,” answered Fr. Pimen. Soon after this Fr. Pimen died and moved forever to the monastery prepared for him.” These conversations contained the Elder’s enormous spiritual experience, and they had an irresistible effect on the listeners. Although the notes are brief, the reader can get a lot of benefit here. Individual thoughts seem to ask to be written down for special remembering, for example, the following: 1. He who trusts in God is never put to shame. 2. Currently, not only among the laity, but also among the young clergy, the following conviction is beginning to spread: eternal torment is incompatible with the infinite mercy of God, therefore, torment is not eternal. This misconception stems from a misunderstanding of the matter. Eternal torment and eternal bliss are not something that only comes from outside, but exist, first of all, within the person himself. The Kingdom of God is within you. Whatever feelings a person instills in himself during his life, with those he will depart into eternal life. A sick body suffers on earth, and the stronger the disease, the greater the torment. Likewise, a soul infected with various diseases begins to suffer severely during the transition to eternal life. An incurable physical illness ends in death, but how can a mental illness end when there is no death for the soul? Malice, anger, irritability, fornication and other mental illnesses are such vermin that crawl after a person into eternal life. Hence, the goal of life is to crush these reptiles here on earth, in order to completely cleanse your soul and before death to say with our Savior: “For the prince of this world is coming, and in me there will be nothing more.” 29 A sinful soul, not purified by repentance, cannot be in the community of saints. Even if they placed her in heaven, she herself would be unbearable to remain there, and she would strive to leave there. 3. Have you ever seen beautiful French artificial flowers? They are made so well that, perhaps, they are not inferior in beauty to a living plant. But for now we are looking at both flowers with the naked, weak eye. Let's take a strong magnifying glass - and what will we see then? Instead of one flower there is a pile of ropes, rough and ugly knots, instead of another there is a creature of extraordinary beauty and grace. And the stronger the glass, the clearer the difference between the beautiful creation of God’s hands and the pitiful imitation of men. The more we read into the Gospel, the more the difference becomes clear between it and the best works of the greatest human minds. No matter how beautiful and profound any famous human work, whether scientific or artistic, is, each of them can be understood to the end. It is deep, deep, but it also has a bottom. There is no bottom in the Gospel. The more you look at it, the wider its meaning unfolds, inexhaustible for any brilliant mind. 4. And perfect people have passions - there are no completely dispassionate people; dispassion exists in full only behind the grave. But the passions of the perfect ones have frozen because they are not allowed to move forward. Every person, no matter how high a life he leads, no matter what grace-filled gifts he has been granted, must remember and never forget that he, too, is a passionate person. 5. We have a lot of thieves. Not those who pick pockets or rob houses, no, these thieves are meaner and more dangerous. They come to you in a suit, say loud phrases, and as a result they steal the most precious thing - your faith. When a person’s faith is stolen, he asks his teachers: “How can we live now?” “Live according to your own understanding,” they answer. Reason, as we know, without faith is not always a good adviser, and a person begins to follow the desires of his flesh and falls lower and lower. 6. Blessed and blessed are those who have entered the right path. But how to stay on this path? After all, the enemy attacks from all sides. By fulfilling the commandments of the Gospel and the Jesus Prayer. If someone has offended you, be patient. The enemy teaches you to take revenge, but Christ from above says: forgive. I don’t want to listen to you, Lord, it’s too hard for me, and he’ll say something to another person that will later be horrified. The Jesus Prayer accustoms us to meekness, kindness, and patience. May we, Lord, if not love our enemies, then at least forgive them. Like his predecessors, Fr. Barsanuphius foresaw the imminent onset of difficult times for Russia. We talked about this above, but here is another example of such a premonition. “After reading aloud about the persecution of Diocletian,” writes Fr. Nikon, Father said: “All these persecutions and torments will happen again, perhaps. Now all this is possible...” Then Father began to read to himself, but soon distracted me from the lesson and, pointing to a picture in the book, said: “What is this?” I read: “The ruins of the Colosseum.” “Yes, mind you, the Colosseum is destroyed, but not destroyed. The Colosseum, you remember, is a theater where pagans admired the torment of Christians, where the blood of Christian martyrs flowed like a river... Hell is also destroyed, but not destroyed, and the time will come when it will make itself known. So the Colosseum, perhaps, will soon begin to roar again, it will be restored and corrected. Mark this word of mine. You will live to see these times... This time is not far off.” Came to Fr. Old man Pavel from the village of Stenino told Barsanuphius his dream (“So-and-so’s dream was so terrible!” said the old man). “I see,” he said, “that I went out of my hut into the backyard, into the field where I am plowing. I look, and out of nowhere, there is a big tomb, made of cast iron, and in the tomb there is a monk. I got scared and ran away from there, and the monk shouted after me: “Where are you running? You won't be able to get away from me anyway. You better wait!” I stopped. My fear has passed. And the monk says to me: “Go tell all the people to change their lives, so that they don’t live as they live now, otherwise something will come upon them that has never happened since the beginning.” These words scared me so much that I woke up.” Fr. listened to him. Barsanuphius said: - What should I do now, Father, because I was ordered in a dream to tell people to change their lives... Who will listen to me? - And you tell it only to good people, and the rest have no use: those “even if someone were to rise from the dead and call to repentance, they would not believe him” (Luke 16:31). Old Pavel told this dream to Nilus. “And you,” he asked him, “what do you say to this?” - What can I say after the Elder! - answered Sergei Alexandrovich. “Where the Elder goes, so will I; as is his word, so is mine.” Nilus recorded the events associated with the death of Dean Optina, Hieromonk Iliodor, to whom Fr. Barsanuphius predicted his death. "ABOUT. Iliodor died on Christmas Day, which fell on Thursday last year, wrote Nilus. - On Sunday, four days, therefore, before death, Fr. Iliodor, after the meal, lay down to rest on the sofa in his cell... It was around noon... Before he had time to fall asleep properly, he saw in a subtle dream that the door of his cell opened and the skete monk Patrick and with him Hierodeacon George entered it. Monk Patricius had a long knife 30 in his hands. - Give us money! – Patriky shouted. - What are you kidding? - Fr. asked him in fear. Iliodor - What kind of money do I have? “And when that happens,” Patriky shouted at him, “so here’s to you!” - and plunged a knife into his heart up to the hilt. This vision was so vivid that Fr. Iliodor jumped up from his bed and, dodging the knife, hit the back of his head hard on the back of the sofa. He immediately woke up from pain and rushed to see who was entering his cell. But there was no one in the cell or outside the cell doors... The day before his death, in the same half-sleep, Father Iliodor saw Hieroschemamonk Savva, who had died in the summer of 1908, one of the three confessors of Optina Pustyn. Father Savva appeared to him complacent and joyful. “What, brother,” Fr. asked him. Iliodor, you must have been scared when your soul was separated from your body? “Yes,” answered Fr. Savva, - it was scary, but now, thank God, it’s completely good! Following Fr. Savva, in the same vision, first appeared to the deceased Optina Archimandrite Isaac, and for Fr. Isaac - his successor, also deceased, Archimandrite Dosifei. Father Isaac approached Fr. Iliodor and gave him a silver ruble in his hand, and Fr. Dositheus – two. “It wasn’t for nothing that I did this,” Fr. said on the eve of his death. Iliodor, telling his dreams to one monk, “I, brother, must be dying soon.” On the day of death Fr. Iliodor was sent for obedience to serve the Liturgy in one village. The day before, as a servant, he confessed to his confessor, and during the Liturgy he performed the Sacrament and received communion. Returning home that same day, Fr. Iliodor, on the occasion of the great holiday, was at the so-called “general tea” with the abbot, he was extremely friendly with everyone, even more, as noted, than usual, and from there, with all the hieromonks, he went to the Skete to the elders to glorify Christ. At this time, my wife and I were leaving the elders and at the very gates of the monastery we met him and the entire Optina hieromonastic army. Father Iliodor walked somewhat behind, and his face seemed too red to me. - It's so hot! - he told me when we met and laughed. There were Christmas frosts outside. This was my last meeting with him in this world. Elder Fr. spoke to me afterwards. Barsanuphius: – I have with Fr. Iliodor never had a close relationship, and all our communication with him was usually limited to dry formality, and then only on business. On the day of his death, after the glorification, I, I don’t know why, suddenly turned to him with the following question: “What, brother, have you prepared anything for yourself on the way?” The question was so unexpected both for me and for him that Fr. Iliodor was even embarrassed and didn’t know what to answer. I grabbed some candy from the tray - a festive monastic consolation - and thrust it into his hand with the words: “This is for your journey!” And think about what a path it took him!... The elder told me this, as if surprised that his word came true. But I was not surprised: living so close to the Optina Shrine, I stopped marveling at many things...” Around the same time there was such an incident. I came to Fr. Varsonofia Sofya Fedorovna Samarina, niece of the Moscow leader of the nobility, her leg had been hurting for a long time, and all the doctors had already refused to treat her. Father Barsanuphius sent her to the Kaluga Tikhon Hermitage to bathe in the holy spring. She listened to his advice, took a swim, and then sent a letter of gratitude from Moscow to Fr. Barsanuphius: the illness passed without a trace... One of the admirers of Optina Pustyn, Maria Azanchevskaya, left a memory of a trip to Optina in May 1909 and a visit to Fr. Barsanuphia. In these notes there are many living features that visibly represent the Hermitage, the Elder and his cell. For this reason, we will present excerpts from there. Maria gathered with her little brother and mother for Kyiv. “Before leaving, I went to see my friends to say goodbye, and I also came to Elena Sergeevna Petrakovskaya, a ryassophore novice of the Seraphim-Diveevsky Monastery... At the time I am describing, she was passing through Moscow. The doctor, finding her extremely exhausted, sent her to kumiss. “Oh, Marusya,” she said, having learned about my imminent departure, “you come from Kyiv to Optina Pustyn. They say how wonderful the Elders are there, especially one, his name is Fr. Barsanuphius. One of our nuns went, and Father revealed her whole life to her from the age of six in confession. After that, she lives in body in Diveyevo, but in spirit constantly remains in Optina. “His face,” she said, “is such that you will cry with emotion, looking at him.” I, who always loved the elders, the blessed, and generally persons experienced in spiritual life, and who became spiritually orphaned after Father Barnabas, was keenly affected by Elena Sergeevna’s words. I decided to beg my mother to come from Kyiv to Optina. My mother, who was generally afraid of seers, reacted sympathetically to my request... We stayed in Kyiv for three days... On May 25, at night, we left Kyiv and, having parted with our fellow travelers in Sukhinichi, we went to buy a ticket, very worried, since we had very, very little money, and no one could tell us how much the road to Kozelsk cost. But, to our joy, the road turned out to be inexpensive. We had to spend the night in Sukhinichi... From Sukhinichi to Kozelsk the train takes just over an hour... At about 9 o'clock in the morning we arrived in Kozelsk. After a fair amount of haggling with the local cab drivers, who saw us as newcomers, we finally climbed into some kind of rattling carriage. The road near the station was disgusting due to heavy rains in the spring. But after half a mile the soil began to become sandy and the road became level. The two miles to the city were fields and meadows. Kozelsk seemed to me more like an unimportant village than a city - I looked at everything with great curiosity. So we drove up a high mountain, and the driver, pointing into the distance with his hand, said: “And here is Optina; Would you like to see? Our eyes saw a high mountain, two miles away, covered with a dense pine forest, and on the edge of the mountain there was a bright, beautiful white monastery. It took my breath away - so this is where, perhaps, my salvation lies. I experienced a similar feeling when six years ago I approached the Seraphim-Diveyevo Monastery, which I was so eager to enter then... We arrived at the ferry located on the Zhizdra River near the monastery itself, and the monk-carrier told us that due to the strong flooding of the river, only a small pedestrian ferry operates. Having parted with the cab driver, we boarded the ferry in great excitement. Beyond the river, a small but steep climb up the monastery mountain immediately begins. Having seen the hotel at the monastery gates, we headed into it. An old monk, the hotel keeper, Fr. Gervasy... Having put down our things, washed up quickly, we went to church. Late mass was going on... After mass, I took my mother and my brother Seraphim to the graves of the elders, I knew exactly where they were. After praying and immediately falling in love with these graves, I noticed the women walking all in the same direction. “Let's go there, this is true cell Fr. Anatoly,” I said. We went and were not mistaken. There were a lot of people waiting. Immediately Father Anatoly’s cell attendant, Fr. Vasily has good, smart, thoughtful eyes. “Where are you from, servants of God?” They said. “Father will be out now.” And indeed, almost immediately Fr. himself came out. Anatoly, small, thin, very active, with an unusually kind, gentle face. Having blessed us, he immediately took us to our cell. This is a small, quadrangular room, in the front corner there is a large shrine, along the walls there are icons, among them a very large image of the Kazan Mother of God, to the right of the shrine there is a sofa and an armchair, to the left there is a table with a lot of sheets and little books and a cabinet with books and wooden products of the Optina monks. Having seated Mom and Seraphim on the sofa, and me in a chair and sat down himself, Father began to ask where we were from, what we do... We left Father - my soul was very peaceful after this visit. We went straight to the Skete, it is 120 fathoms from the monastery. Situated in a forest, a wonderful forest with tall, straight pine trees. A path leads into it, made of rubble and strewn with yellow sand. The path made three bends, and Skeet appeared in front of us. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see him. Something completely close and dear smelled from him. The small bell tower above the Holy Gate, the entrance to the Skete, all painted with images of holy saints, and on both sides of the bell tower, poor huts, exactly the same - everything captivated me. We learned that to the right is the former hut of Fr. Ambrose, and now the elder schemamonk Fr. Joseph, former cell attendant Fr. Ambrose, as well as Fr. Anatoly. At these hours the Elder received, and we entered the hut. Inside it turned out to be very roomy and consisted of several rooms and corridors. Soon the cell attendant, Fr. Zosima asked where we were from. They said. And about five minutes later he called us to Father. With trepidation we entered the former reception room of Fr. Ambrose. There on the sofa lay Fr., who was very weak at that time. Joseph. When he saw us, he rose to meet us for a blessing. Father was very weak, could barely stand on his feet and was yellow, like wax. I felt scared. “Is there anything you want to ask?” - said Father. We were not at all ready for this; all our thoughts were occupied with one thing: rather, to Fr. Barsanuphius... We left the hut and approached another one, to the left of the Skete gate. The door is locked, what does that mean? We ask the gatekeeper Fr. Alexy, who told us: “Here lives the head of the monastery, Fr. Barsanuphius, he’s been receiving since two o’clock, but now he’s still not there, he’s at his dacha ten miles from here and will arrive on Sunday, no earlier.” As thunder struck above me, the bright sunny day immediately faded... There was nothing to do, we went home, had lunch and went to wander around the monastery. We went into the icon shop and met the wonderful monk Fr. Pimen. He, it turns out, is extremely devoted to Father Barsanuphius, loves him with all his heart. We received the first information about Father from him... The day passed in melancholy without Father... In the evening there was a strong thunderstorm. They woke us up again to listen to Matins. Mom got a severe migraine, and she decided to take communion with Seraphim at the late mass, while I was left alone at the early mass. It was on Friday, May 29, the day of the celebration of the icons of the Mother of God “Watching Eye” and “Helper of Sinners”, in the Church of the Venerable Mary of Egypt. After communion I did not experience much spiritual joy, I was very tired and couldn’t think of anything better than to come and go to bed while late mass was going on... Oh, heart darkened by sin and overgrown for spiritual life! Towards the end of mass I woke up and went to meet my people. And they, it turned out, had already managed to defend mass and run to the Skete, where they were told, with great joy for me, that Fr. Barsanuphius returned completely unexpectedly to everyone... As soon as we sat down to drink tea, a prayer was heard outside the door: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us.” “Amen,” we answered, and Fr. entered. Alexy. He prayed slowly and, turning to us, also slowly, said: “Fr. Barsanuphius, I already told him about you, I say, the Moscow people are waiting for you here. He asked for his last name, but I don’t know.” - “Okay, let them come at two o’clock.” “You’d better come early.” We began to treat Fr. Alexy with tea, but he refused and quickly left. I don’t know, I don’t even remember how I waited until two o’clock, how I arrived at the Skete and how I entered the hut, which this time was hospitably open. The first oblong room with many icons and a large portrait of Fr. Ambrose in the coffin is intended for the poor. The second corridor with two small windows, dimly lit, is intended for visitors to wait. At the entrance to the left there is a prayer room. At the time described, it was being repaired and was locked. And right from the corridor there was a small rectangular room with a marvelous, very ancient Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God, with many icons, instructive paintings, portraits, views... In the same room there was a bookcase with books, benches and an old chair near the Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God. At that time, Father received visitors in this room. From Tikhvinskaya there were two doors leading to the left - one to the cell attendant, the other to the men's side. The cell attendant, Brother Nikita, came out, very young, with an unusually clear, spiritual face and long curly hair. He asked where we were from and asked us to wait. We waited for about twenty minutes. Seraphim was the first to stand next to Tikhvinskaya, then me, then my mother, and then about seven more people. It was painfully difficult, everyone froze in anticipation, and suddenly... our treasure, our spiritual joy, came out. I was dumbfounded, it never even occurred to me that the Lord would deign to see such an ascetic, and not only see, but also become one of his beloved daughters. Tall, fair, straight, with marvelous, dark eyes and glasses. He looked at all the people at once and approached the first, that is, Seraphim. - What a good name! – took him by the head. - Well, I wish you to be an angel in the future. -What is your holy name? – he turned to his mother. “Eugene,” and Father went on to bless the people. I had a pound of tea and a letter from one Deveyevskaya nun to give to Father Barsanuphius. I decided to hand them over when Father went back, and that’s what I did. – Father, one Diveyevo nun asked me to give you tea and a letter. Father stopped, and I thought – Father would probably be glad to have some tea... “I don’t know, Father, another nun told me this.” - Save her, Lord; only the tea is not for me, but for the holy monastery... Yes, for the holy monastery. These words made my legs give way; I saw the Elder’s insight. Father took the tea from my hands and went to the men’s quarters. Brother Nikita came out again and said: “Father has gone to confess to the brethren, he will come out in an hour and a half, take the trouble to wait...” Next, Maria Azanchevskaya spoke about her very difficult and complex confession to Fr. Barsanuphius, it was approximately the same as in the above story of the nun Elena Shamonina. “After everything that the Lord revealed to me about you,” Fr. said goodbye. Barsanuphius, - you want to glorify me as a saint - this should not happen, do you hear? I am a sinful man. You won’t tell anyone what I revealed to you in confession, and you won’t tell your mother, but your mother will ask why she was crying, you’ll say, Father confessed, they talked from the heart, well, about sins and cried. There are many, many of your friends who are dying precisely because not everyone speaks in confession. And there is one of your acquaintances and friends, I don’t know her name, but that she exists, her death is near, I know. So you send everyone to Optina to pray and send them to me - come, they say, to Fr. Barsanuphius for a blessing, and it’s my job to save. Only those closest to the island. Barsanuphius’s people—the cell attendants, the clerk—could notice how often he was ill. He often told Nikolai Belyaev that he felt death approaching, that death seemed to have already come to him, but the Lord was giving a reprieve... On January 31, 1909, Nikolai wrote down the words of Fr. Barsanuphia: “Tonight I thought I was going to die... I got up forcibly for Matins... At first it was very difficult, but when I entered the church, everything just disappeared and it immediately became easier. It was also difficult to get up for mass, but then, thank God, I walked cheerfully.” March 1: “Today I felt very bad and I thought: “I need to rest, I’ll go to bed.” “Brother Nikita,” I say, “today we won’t unlock the women’s quarters, for the first time in three years... And I’ll go to bed, don’t wake me up until three o’clock.” He lay down, and his thought said: “Perhaps some servant of Christ came there with sorrow or some other urgent need of hers - how could that be? We need to unlock it...” He called his brother Nikita, told him to unlock it, and he stood up, soon all the weakness disappeared. And there really came those who needed to be accepted... And the Lord helps in such cases.” March 30: “Father fell ill, he didn’t even accept the brethren for blessing... Father told me: “I almost died tonight.” What kind of disease this is, I don’t know. They said that the change in food affected the entire body and especially the stomach. Father’s appearance in the morning did not show anything special, only the slowness of his movements and irritability indicated illness. I will pray for Father, may the Lord deal with him according to His mercy.” December 15: “Father felt so weak that he could not stand for the evening prayers, and immediately went to bed. I was now sitting on a chair by my father’s bed and looking at him. Father says: “Tell me something.” But I can’t think of anything: I either say the Jesus Prayer, or mentally ask to save Father. Save, Lord, and have mercy on Father!” In April, some nun, who remained unknown, handed over to the gatekeeper Fr. Alexia's schema (the schema's clothing, which she apparently embroidered herself) for Elder Barsanuphius. And he was not yet a schema-monk... Father Alexy handed over what he had brought to Father. “When Fr. Alexy left,” Nikolai wrote down. “Father, coming up to me (for I was writing), said: “I had a desire to accept the holy schema before my death. Of course, I didn’t tell anyone about this, with the exception of Fr. Archimandrite (Xenophon). But I have a desire for a secret schema, but now it is impossible to fulfill due to my position,” while Father pointed with his hand at the letters, papers, bills, etc., which sometimes lie in abundance on the desk. “But I hope,” Father continued, “that perhaps the Lord will fulfill my desire, and perhaps I will have to die on the clock. I repeat, I didn’t tell anyone about this, and now I receive the schema... I look at it as an omen of my imminent death. And in general, I think that I don’t have long to be with you. They brought the schema in front of you, but the question is whether they will put it on me in front of you...” Despite such an unstable state of health, on about. Barsanuphius was looked upon as the most active person in the monastery. He somehow managed to do everything: make major repairs to the cells, build new ones, lay a lot of underground pipes to drain excess water, dig wells - that is, he organized all this and monitored the execution of the work. A new room appeared for the skete library, where, after consecration, books and archives were moved... A new foundation was laid under the monastery’s building, the walls were insulated... In the absence of the abbot of the monastery, Archimandrite Xenophon 31, Fr. Barsanuphius was appointed to replace him, and he then ruled both the Skete and the entire monastery, bearing the entire burden of care. Just like that, in the absence of the Archimandrite, Father received several complaints from the brethren about one monk, an old one, who had been living in the monastery for fifty years - this monk was so impudent that no one could humble him. Isaac, nor Fr. Dositheus... “Father decided to call this monk to him,” writes Nikolai Belyaev. - He came. At the very first word from Father, he began to speak insolently and rudely and even shouted at Father. Grumbling and threatening, he left the Father and left... The Father called the treasurer and the dean and told them that both the mantle and even the cassock should be removed from this monk... The Father managed to order it in such a way that this monk came unrecognizable to the Father, fell to his knees with tears, asking for forgiveness and blessings, expressing humility. Father immediately forgave: “God will forgive you.” But the monk, without getting up from his knees, kept asking for forgiveness. “God will forgive, forgive me,” says Father. And having calmed the monk a little, he released him. When I entered, Father told me: “This is a miracle, glory to You, Lord!” Father knelt before the icons and prayed.” Back in March 1909, a Synodal resolution was issued, according to which on July 5, a Congress of representatives of selected Russian monasteries was to be held at the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra to discuss the issue of measures to raise spiritual life in monasteries. In the Synodal definition, among the monasteries from which representatives are appointed to the congress, Optina Pustyn and Optina Skete are mentioned. And here is an entry from the “Chronicle of Skete”: “1909, July 1. Early this morning Fr. Archimandrite Xenophon, rector of Optina Pustyn, and Fr. The skete commander, Abbot Barsanuphius, went to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra to participate in the Congress of representatives of Russian monasteries 32. “This morning at 4 o’clock,” wrote Nikolai Belyaev, “Father left with Fr. Archimandrite to Kaluga, from there they will go to the congress at the Trinity-Sergius Lavra... When mass ended today, I went to see Father. Having prayed, Father went through the Holy Gates to the approaching carriage. When Father sat down in it, he once again blessed all three of us, that is, Fr. Nikita, brother Nikita and me, with one cross, and the horses set off. I felt sad and hurried to go to my cell. I was parting with the person I loved and loved me, mentor and spiritual father. When will Father come back? And who will replace him for me?.. Arriving at the cell, I prayed both for Father and for myself. I won’t lie, I cried... When leaving, Father told me to take care of myself during his absence. With my obedience, a strict life is impossible, for the obedience is so great that there was almost no time left for prayer rules, despite the fact that I do not rest after lunch. One day the other day I repented to Father that I slept through Matins. To this, Father answered me: “Reproach yourself. God will forgive. But when I leave, don’t wake up. Get back into the old framework. Take this time to take care of yourself. Be silent..." - "How can you remain silent when you have to go mowing?" - I say. “Well then? In my mowing, the prayer somehow went even better... Let them talk idle there, you can always move a little away from them without judging them, because the field is large. I remember those were wonderful moments: a beautiful view of Pustyn, Kozelsk in the distance, this ancient city... Wonderful air... No, good! On the way to the Lavra, Fathers Xenophon and Barsanuphius stopped in Moscow at the Epiphany Monastery with Bishop Tryphon. When Nikolai Belyaev visited Moscow later that year, Vladyka said: “When Father Archimandrite and Father Hegumen stopped with me on the way to the Lavra, I asked Fr. Abbot about you. And I’ll tell you, he treats you cordially...” On July 15, Nikolai wrote: “Yesterday I received a letter from Father in response to my... Father informs that the meeting is over. Conveys God's blessing. Save him, Lord, for his love. He’ll probably arrive in a few days.” 17th: “Today at the beginning of nine o’clock in the afternoon Father arrived. The rain prevented the mowing, and we walked from the field to the ferry, and Father and Fr. Panteleimon, hierodeacon of the monastery, also board the ferry.” Nilus, in his Optina notes on July 3, writes: “In the issue of Kolokol received today, the “Message of the Monastic Congress to all Russian monks” was printed. It ends with these words: “Oh, beloved brethren! The time for heroism has come. Who knows? Perhaps the signs of the times are being fulfilled; Perhaps the hour of God’s terrible judgment is near: the hour is now for us to rise from sleep! It’s time to prepare your lamps to meet the Heavenly Bridegroom... If simple, God-fearing people, looking with fear at the triumph of evil on earth, listening to natural disasters - droughts and bad weather, famine and epidemics, say: “Are the last times already here?” - if the inanimate creature itself, according to the word of the Apostle, sighs and sympathizes with us, trembles, and the earth shakes, swallowing up thousands of people in terrible earthquakes and destroying flourishing cities in a few minutes, then shouldn’t we also listen to the voice of the thunders of God coming upon the universe, and prepare to hear the voice of the Archangel’s trumpet, which has on the last day of the world to awaken the dead from their coffins?.. We turn to you our mournful voice, emanating from aching hearts, a call from the heavenly tomb of our All-Russian abbot, Sergius. The Lord is near: it’s time for us to rise from sleep! Amen". Nikolai Belyaev was away from October 1 to October 19 - he needed to visit home, in Moscow, since he was soon expecting to be drafted into the army. When he returned, he wrote down: “Here I am again in Skete. Again the same pine trees look at me from above. Again the same simplicity and silence... But I’ll try to write everything down in order. Until the 16th I kept a small special diary; The 16th was not included in it, and therefore I will start with it. On the morning of the 16th, Ivanushka and I went to see Bishop Tryphon. On the way we went to the Chapel of the Savior and the Kazan Cathedral... From the Kazan Cathedral we went straight to Bishop Tryphon. We had to wait a little. When we entered, Vladyka blessed us, sat us on chairs, and began to walk around the room: he was very upset. “Well, God bless,” said the Vladyka, “go. Tell Fr. Archimandrite and Fr. My brotherly greetings to the abbot" (here Vladyka asked to convey something to Father from the Grand Duchess 33... We drove, as always, all night from the 16th to the 17th. On the morning of the 17th at ten o'clock we drove into the skete's horse yard, got off the cart and went to Father. Father, apparently, did not expect me, and when I entered, Father was somewhat surprised and delighted: a smile shone on his face. Having blessed me, Father hugged my head and kissed me. We didn’t have to talk for long, the cab driver was waiting for us, we had to bring our things into the cell. Leaving Father, I went to my cell. Again I saw our dear church - the old church, the same paths, the same trees and bushes. So I entered my cell, again the same window, stove, books, icons, table... everything again appeared before my eyes. While I figured it out a little, while I brought some gifts and sweets to Father, it was time for a meal.” After a rainy summer, a beautiful autumn came - there were truly golden days, such as Nilus described in his Optina diary at that time: “The warmth still lingers, and October looks more like April, and autumn - like spring... My wife and I walked from the forest, from Zhelezenka, heading towards our house from east to west. The forest began to thin out. The evening dawn burned over the monastery like gold melted with silver. The sky seemed glassy and filled with liquid gold, shining through with fire. Quiet, doesn't stir; not a sound in the forest; silently in the monastery, not a soul is visible - everything is frozen, as if holding its breath, as if waiting for something... Clearly, like carved in the golden sky, the Optina bell tower rises and stretches towards it, and churches, monastery buildings, white stone walls. You look at all this God’s beauty through the slender trunks of mighty pines, which are rare on the edge of the forest, and you can’t stop looking at it.” One day Nilus told Fr. Barsanuphius, as at the all-night vigil, near Kazan, stood with his wife next to Fr. John, the blind old man. “This wonderful ascetic,” writes Nilus, “stands on his sick legs, broken by rheumatism and many years of standing, during all the long church services, following them by the bows of the monk-neighbor closest to him (this will be clear to those familiar with the rules)... He, as a former canonarch in his youth, knows the service better than any sighted person. He is a great ascetic... Those who know the Elder closely do not call him anything other than “one of the ancients.” Father John of an old noble family... has been ascetic for about forty-five years and is still listed as a “voluntary obedient”, that is, an unordained 34 novice: such is the humility of the Elder, who does not consider himself worthy of the mantle. The Elder’s “voluntary obedience”, since he became blind, consisted of preparing wicks for the Optina candle factory. He twisted wicks, unwinding the most tangled skeins of thread with such skill that sighted people brought him to unravel and find the ends in their skeins... And with such a fiery pillar of ascetic faith and righteousness, the Lord brought me, a great sinner, to stand side by side, shoulder to shoulder, to pray together at the solemn Optina services... Sometimes the Elder stands, stands in the church and suddenly sits down on his bench with a heavy groan... So yesterday this venerable martyr felt so bad from the beginning of the all-night vigil that, after standing for a while, he sat down on the bench with a quiet complaint in my direction: “No I can stand: it’s both in my head and in my legs!” I felt sorry for our Father to the point of tears. I grabbed his cold old hand and pressed it to my lips.” Then the Elder stood up and continued the service to the end. “Yes, this is a soul of a very special category,” said Fr. Barsanuphius. On the same day Fr. Barsanuphius asked Nikolai Belyaev: – Do you know that we have a great ascetic in Optina who has the gift of inner prayer? – This is the ryassophore novice, blind Father John. And I thought about. Barsanuphius, it seems, with what joy would now exchange his superior’s cell for the quiet corner of Fr. Joanna... Now autumn has come, and the “Little Pentecost” - the Nativity Fast - has ended. December 25th is the Nativity of Christ, on this day we entered the Skete and Fr. Barsanuphius and his current clerk, novice Nikolai Belyaev. This day - December 25, 1909 - is captured in the diary of novice Nikolai: “It was a wonderful, quiet, clear, frosty night. At about 8 o'clock I went to bed, at a quarter to 12 I got up and went to Father. The priest decided not to go to the monastery, but to celebrate Matins at home. Both cell attendants, Fr. Kuksha and I stayed with Father. Having said Matins, we parted ways. Mass began at 7 o'clock, and I overslept a little, came to the Apostle or a little earlier. After mass I went to the meal, from the meal to the elders at the graves. Then to Father Christ to glorify, then to Fr. Joseph, then to Father again, put him to rest, and he went to his cell, lit the stove, entrusted it to Ivanushka and went to prepare common tea. After general tea, back to Father, Father gave me the book “On the Caucasus Mountains.” I read it until Vespers. Arriving before the bell for Vespers, I sat down, saying a prayer, and my soul was quiet... After Vespers, I went to the meal and to Father. I drank some tea and read the canons with Fr. Nikita. Father serves again tomorrow. And now I’m in my cell. A lamp is burning in front of the images, quietly all around. The night was just as wonderful, starry and frosty, the frost reached 27 degrees.” The next day is the feast of the Cathedral of Our Lady. Nikolai visited Fr. Barsanuphia. “We talked a little,” he wrote. – Father spoke about the difficulty of salvation in the present time. “And you,” said Father, turning to me, “chose the good part. I would like to see you in your cassock and robe, but I don’t know if I’ll be alive. Then (that is, when I receive the mantle) the royal seal will be applied to you. Then it will depend on you whether to keep it or break it...” They talked about the poem “The Greatness of the Mother of God,” written by Father himself. The editor-publisher of the magazine 35, where Father sent this poem for publication, really liked this poem, and they added: “To celebrate the day of the Council of Our Lady on December 26th.” Father even said something like that at the Last Judgment he would ask the Mother of God to save him from eternal torment, pointing to this poem.” Living in the house of the monastery leader, Fr. Barsanuphius always remembered that Elder Macarius, who was also the monastery commander in his time, spent many years here in great spiritual feats. It was with this memory that he began his conversation with his spiritual children on December 27, 1909: “Glory to Thee, Lord! We all gathered together again. I love these evenings: on them I rest my soul... I also love sitting alone in this cell. Many have found peace of mind here. Our great writer Gogol was reborn spiritually under the influence of conversations with Elder Macarius, which took place in this very cell, and a great turning point occurred in him. As a whole, unbroken nature, he was not capable of compromise. Realizing that it was impossible to live the way he lived before, he turned to Christ without looking back and rushed to the Heavenly Jerusalem. He wrote letters to his friends from Rome and the Holy Places he visited, and these letters formed a whole book, for which his contemporaries condemned him. Gogol had not yet begun to live in Christ, he only wished for this life, and the world, hostile to Christ, launched a persecution against him and passed a cruel sentence on him, recognizing him as half-crazy.” No wonder he started talking about Gogol. Loving Russian literature, Fr. Throughout its vast expanse, Barsanuphius especially singled out spiritual growths. In the time of Elder Macarius, among the famous names were Gogol and Ivan Kireevsky, who wished to bring their own lives closer to monastic deeds, to develop in themselves those spiritual forces that would allow them to give examples of spiritual Orthodox literary creativity. For Gogol, who dreamed of taking the next volumes of Dead Souls down this path, this aspiration was initially expressed in letters, and for good reason, because letters are an ancient monastic teaching genre (letters, epistles, conversations...). Almost a year after the death of Elder Macarius, several volumes of his letters to the laity and monastics were published - an absolute classic of the epistolary genre. Later, the letters of Elder Ambrose appeared in print and became widely known. These letters covered such a huge range of issues that they have forever remained a school for the spiritual education of man in Christ. Gogol published “Selected Passages from Correspondence with Friends” at the beginning of 1847, in which a varied and persistent call was made for Russian society in all spheres of life - private and public - to turn towards sincere Orthodoxy. Gogol had a strong desire for monasticism, he was even planning to leave the world, but he was not able to stop his literary work halfway, thinking - and rightly so - that here too there was an opportunity to bring considerable spiritual benefit to people. He visited Optina three times, the last time in September 1851, five months before his untimely death. More than once I contacted Fr. Barsanuphius in his conversations about the story about Gogol - after all, then there was a time of noisy decadent literature and young people were carried away by the demonic works of Andreev, Artsybashev, Gorky, the poetic mysticism of Blok and Bely, etc. Books, theater, the press - everything flooded the consciousness of young generations with the satanic poison of unbelief, despondency, despair. And o. Barsanuphius recalled the spiritual poems of Lermontov (“In a difficult moment of life...” - The Elder believed that this was written about the Jesus Prayer), Ivan Nikitin, Pushkin (his later purely Orthodox poems, such as “The Desert Fathers...”). And here is about Gogol, who outlined the path for the revival of Russian literature, but after his death, atheist democrats like Chernyshevsky and Dobrolyubov, with a countless company of supporters, stepped in her way, and only streams of spirituality made their way further, to the beginning of the 20th century... There, individual poems of Polonsky, Maykov and almost the entire work of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich Romanov, who published poetry, shone with an undying light under the pseudonym "K. R." “Who sits on Gogol’s chair? – the Elder began one of the conversations. - M.A.? I asked because I want to start my speech today with Gogol. Gogol was called crazy. For what? For the spiritual turning point that occurred in him and after which Gogol firmly and steadily followed the path of worship and pleasing God. How did this happen? In Gogol’s soul, as far as we can judge from his surviving letters, and even more from the surviving stories about his oral conversations, there was always dissatisfaction with life; he wanted a better life, but he could not find it. “The poor son of the desert had a dream...” - this is how one of Gogol’s articles begins... - and he himself and all of humanity appeared to him in the image of this poor son of the desert. This state of humanity is also depicted in the Psalter: there the people of God, hungering and thirsting, wandered through the desert, looking for a habitable city, and did not find it. So we all hunger and thirst for this habitable city, and seek it, and wander in the desert... There is a legend that Elder Macarius foresaw the coming of Gogol. They say that he was in his cell at that time (who knows, maybe it was not this same one, since Gogol came right here) and, quickly walking back and forth, he said to the monk who was with him: “Something is worrying my heart. It’s as if something extraordinary is about to happen, as if it’s waiting for someone.” - “Father, what could happen so extraordinary?” At this time they report that Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol has arrived. The Gospel tells that when the Greeks came to Jesus Christ, He rejoiced in spirit and said: “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in Him” (John 13:31). So, probably, Elder Macarius had a presentiment of great glorification, but not of himself, but of Gogol. “Ask!” - and Gogol is with the Elder, and the conversation begins. It took place without witnesses, was not recorded by anyone, but God was present here invisibly during it, and Divine grace transformed Gogol’s soul. How I would like, and you, I think, would not refuse to listen to this wonderful conversation between the great elder and the great writer... Coming out from the Elder, Gogol said: “Yes, they told me the truth: this is the only one of all the people still known to me who has the power and strength to lead to sources of living water”... Gogol died a true Christian. There is a legend that shortly before his death he said to his close friend: “Oh, how much I have lost, how terribly I have lost...” - “What? What have you lost? - “Because I didn’t become a monk. Oh, why didn’t Father Macarius take me to his skete?” “I repeat again,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, - our best writers strove for God, although now they have somehow forgotten about this, and now students read nothing, have no idea about Shakespeare or Pushkin, but they could lift them from everyday, gray, ordinary life and lead them to God. However, it must be said that such reading, although it can lead to the thought of Heaven, it leads, so to speak, along roundabout roads - it is better for us to choose the direct path that is open to us, it is better to read the works of the holy fathers of the Church, the lives of the saints. All these Nietzsche, Renans, said Fr. Barsanuphius - and with them all the other corrupters of morality - what is their fate? Yes, having become in every way similar to the culprit of all abomination, all uncleanness - the devil, after death they fall into his power, by virtue of the Russian proverb “One’s unwilling brother.” And those who served Christ reign with Him: “One of their own...” Tolstoy’s life could have gone completely differently if he had not listened to his disastrous thoughts. The thought appeared to him that the Lord Jesus Christ was not God, and he believed it. Then it occurred to him that the Gospel was written incorrectly - and he believed this thought and reshaped the entire Gospel in his own way, fell away from the Church... The English philosopher Darwin created an entire system according to which life is a struggle for existence, a struggle between the strong and the weak, where the vanquished are doomed to death... This is already the beginning of animal philosophy, and people who believe in it do not think about killing a person, insulting a woman, robbing their closest friend - and all this is completely calm, with complete consciousness of his right to commit all these crimes. The Elder did not prepare for his conversations, there was no time - he spoke everything impromptu, as God put it on his heart... And what a beneficial effect they had on those listening! How many souls did he direct to the only true path... Many years later, Ivan Belyaev, rereading and commenting on his brother’s diary, noted: “In the brother’s relationship with Father there was a true example of ancient eldership and apprenticeship. So in ancient times, spiritual giants grew from true disciples and, moreover, in a relatively short time.” The brothers, living in the Skete, saw each other little, since Nikolai was almost constantly with Fr. Barsanuphia, fulfilling the obedience of the clerk, participated in his cell prayers and often spent the night there. Nikolai’s entry dated January 10, 1910 is typical: “All these days I had almost no free minute. Urgent annual reports had to be prepared. I remember one day the other day Father remarked to me that I needed to be careful and attentive in everything. Attentiveness, precision and accuracy in business and your duties “will even contribute to your inner mental composure when you get used to attentiveness.” Then, too, Father recently again told me to take care of my reprimand “for my personal benefit and the benefit of the monastery.” Father said that it was difficult for me to understand, that all the words merged into indefinite sounds. “While you are young, you can fix it. And for this you need to read loudly, slowly in your cell for at least half an hour the lives of the saints, trying to pronounce all the letters clearly and correctly. Of course, with such reading you will have to pay attention not to the meaning of what you are reading, but to the mechanism of reading.” This is how the Elder’s concern for his disciple extended widely. One day Fr. Barsanuphius said to Nicholas: “Yes, now it becomes clear to me how the elder and the disciple lived unanimously before. How the elder spoke to the disciple; So I’ll just talk to you...” At the beginning of 1910, Ivan Belyaev, whose restless soul could not calm down, decided to go to Athos. On January 17, Nikolai wrote: “Ivanushka wants to leave again. Father told me today: “Let’s cry and pray for him...” And I became afraid for him. And after the meal, when Father went to rest, he said to me: “Don’t you leave, we’ll live together. I don’t have much time left to live.” Nikolai's attempts to dissuade Ivan from the trip failed. On January 27 he left. Commenting on his brother’s alarming question in his diary: “What will Bishop Tryphon say?” – Ivan writes: “My brother shouldn’t have worried about this! Having arrived in Moscow, I immediately appeared to Vladyka and was met with heartfelt sympathy on his part. I was very amazed then that he understood my mood from half a word, as if he himself had experienced the same thing! “Vladyka did not object to my desire to go to Athos and gave me his blessing.” Ivan Belyaev's journey unexpectedly turned out to be difficult and full of disappointments. On Athos he fell ill (“I became terribly weak,” he wrote, “and lost half the hair on my head, which flew out of my skin in whole bunches”), but, most importantly, “I didn’t like the appearance of the monks, nor the services, nor the singing, nor the food, nor the customs. The mood was deeply depressed.”... He sent a letter to his brother Nikolai, which he received on March 12: “I received a letter from Ivanushka from Athos,” he wrote in his diary, “and my heart began to beat, and I felt pity for him.” Before leaving for Athos, Ivan informed Nikolai that he would never return to Optina, and perhaps even would never see him, Nikolai, again. “I wanted to go to Jerusalem,” Ivan later wrote, “but I didn’t have the strength. Thus ended my flight to Athos. Arriving in Moscow, I told everything that happened to Bishop Tryphon, and he advised me to return to Skete.” On April 20, 1910, he arrived in Optina and again received a cell in the Skete. It cannot be said that everything went smoothly for Nicholas in his spiritual life, although for the most part it was like that. There were thoughts, such as, for example, the one he revealed to the Elder on February 14: “Sometimes the thought comes, especially during the service on the rule, that monastic life is bleak, day after day, the main thing is that there is nothing to expect ahead, the same services, the same meal.” Father Barsanuphius was not at all surprised by this thought, which is not uncommon for beginning monks. His answer was lengthy and expressed in the most convincing tone: – This is one of the most poisonous thoughts. A monk must always be, as it were, in the throes of birth, until he comes “to the measure of his age” (Eph. 4:13)... And while our old man is still alive, he makes himself known with all sorts of passions, melancholy, despondency... and what is now burdensome for such a person will later be a great consolation for him, for example, going to services and matins, then the psalm word will be applicable to him: “They rejoiced.” about those who said to me, “Let us go to the house of the Lord” (Ps. 122:1). Then everything in him will be filled with light and joy in the Lord. When a wife gives birth, they say she suffers terrible torment, and when she gives birth, she no longer remembers the torment for joy that a man was born into the world. This law of birth in pain is observed in spiritual life. And just as a wife does not know how the fruit ripens in her womb, how fruiting and growth proceeds, so in spiritual life a person does not notice his spiritual growth... You did well that you told me this thought, it pecked at many, and so they left the monastery... “Now, Father,” said Nikolai, “I would like to hear from your lips that I do not need to leave this monastery, from the Skete, but to endure everything.” - The Lord will bless you, my child, do not leave the Skete, endure everything... I bless you with joy: I may die, but I will not leave. It’s a different matter if they send you to a monastery... Yes, it’s important that you said about this thought; Today is the 1910th summer of the Nativity of Christ, February, 14th day... – How to fight this thought, what to answer? – Say: The Lord will help me follow this path... I don’t think that I will reach the upper stages of perfection, but perhaps I will be saved here. And a few days earlier, Nikolai wrote down the words of Father: “Maybe, God willing, I will live in peace, practice the Jesus Prayer. Brother Nikolai will come to me and say: “Yes, what bliss is monastic life, only there are a lot of sorrows.” And this is not just a fantasy, - the Elder foresaw the future state of mind of his student. And it was not in vain that he spoke about many sorrows. And sometimes he hinted, but not strongly, that Nikolai would not live long... During Great Lent, March 4, Fr. Barsanuphius said to Nicholas: “You will not always be as peaceful and good as you are now. You will have to be patient and very patient. I’m telling you this not so that you become discouraged, no, so that you know that such a time will come, but now gain strength. Then you will say: “Yes, Father told me all this twenty years ago, even more” (after 21 years and a half, the life of the Optina elder Nikon ended in Pinega exile). Father Barsanuphius often reminded Nikolai to read in every free time: “The time will come when you will no longer have this opportunity... Enrich your mind with knowledge and descend into the depths of humility, considering yourself worse than everyone else...”. And then again about the same thing: “Read books now on holidays, while you have the opportunity. Then the time will come, you won’t be able to read books, mark my words... Yes, in five or six years... then you will have to read the book of life.” “These words seemed incomprehensible and mysterious to me,” writes Nikolai, “but I did not dare ask Father further.” Father's prediction came true. Soon, some events began in Optina Pustye - harbingers of great unrest - all this was understood by the brethren as devilish machinations, as the invasion of the worldly spirit into monastic life. Here is an entry from the “Chronicle of the Skete” dated March 28, 1910: “On this date, after the Liturgy performed by Fr. The head of the monastery with hieromonk Fr. Adrian, was served by him at the council with hieromonks Fr. O. Adrian, Irakli and Kuksha requiem for the deceased elders of Optina: Archimandrites Moses, Isaac and Dositheus, Abbots Anthony and Abraham, Hieroschema-monks Leo, Macarius, Ambrose, Hilarion and Anatolia. The motivating reason for this, according to Fr. The head of the hermitage served as follows: until now, for the prayers of the deceased elders of Optina, the peaceful life of the brethren of Optina Pustyn was not disturbed by any turmoil. At the present time, a truly “evil” time, when the enemy of our salvation is intensifying to sow confusion in Orthodox Russia, he has brought confusion into our monastery. Four of the elder brothers of Optina: hieromonks Moses and Ezekiel, hierodeacon George and monk Micah allowed themselves to denounce the most honorable abbot of Optina, Archimandrite Xenophon, to the most honorable abbot of Optina, Archimandrite Xenophon, accusing him before the Bishop of causing damage to the monastery by unscrupulous management of the monastery's economy. This regrettable action of the mentioned brothers against their Abba, which disrupted the peaceful life of the monastery, prompted them to seek afterlife prayers for the pacification of the brotherhood in remembrance of the deceased elders of Optina. In the monastery, after the early Liturgy, Fr. The rector and all the hieromonks also served a memorial service for the deceased elders, and after the later one, a prayer service was served for the sending of peace to the brethren of the monastery.” This incident - a complaint - was like a stone thrown into a smooth surface of water - circles began to spread from it, wider and wider... Nilus was persecuted by the world with slander, so he did not want to live in capitals and wandered, settling for years in quiet abodes. Now he has been living in Optina for three years, confessing to Fr. Barsanuphius writes books, publishes them in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, where Bishop Nikon favors him with all his heart. Once Sergei Alexandrovich in March 1910 came to Fr. Barsanuphius, on his desk was the first issue of the “Trinity Word,” edited by Bishop Nikon himself. Taking the book, Fr. Barsanuphius said: - This is good, wise! This is a good word! Then suddenly, as if without any connection with the previous one, after a pause, he said: – Do you know, a rebellion is starting against you, and what a rebellion at that! - Where from, Father? – Nilus asked in surprise. - Both from the outside and from the inside, from the side of one party... However, Nilus did not receive a complete answer - then Nikolai Belyaev came running to call the Elder to a dying man who had become very ill. The priest took the stole and quickly left. “More than once since the end of last year, the Elder began to talk to me about “human slander,” and each time our conversation on this regrettable topic was interrupted mid-sentence in an equally unexpected way,” writes Nilus. “I know that there, somewhere in space, someone is plotting something against our Optina solitude, but who and why, I still cannot find out from my elder.” The elder knew well who wanted this and why, since he was the one who received abusive letters that he did not want to tell Nilus about. It was not so far before the time when both of them would have to leave Optina... On April 16, 1910, Nikolai Belyaev was tonsured into a cassock, put on a cassock and hood, and became Father Nikolai. The tonsure took place in the monastery, in the Church of the Venerable Mary of Egypt, and was tonsured by Archimandrite Xenophon. Then two new ryassophore monks of the monastery, Nikolai and Hilarion, visited the graves of the elders, took their blessing and went to the monastery to Fr. Barsanuphius. They went in to him and knelt down. “Stand up,” he said, “bow three times.” After bowing, he told them a word, whatever came to his heart. “I told you before,” he said, “and now I repeat again: humility is everything. If there is humility, everything is there; if there is no humility, there is nothing. You received the Rassophor. This is not some kind of promotion, as, for example, in the world, when they give an officer rank and so on. There, the recipient considers it his duty to be proud of his promotion. But this is not the case with us. The words are written on the monastic banner: “Whoever wants to be great must be a servant of all” (Mark 10:41). Humble yourself and humble yourself... Now you will be more comforted by the grace of God, but the enemy will also embitter you..." – When were you tonsured into the ryassophore? – Holy Martyrs Irene, Chionia and Agapia. – Agapia – love, Irina – peace, Chionia – snowy... – Well, this means that you must have, in the words of the Apostle, “peace and holiness with everyone” (Heb. 12:14). Apart from these virtues - peace and love - one cannot cleanse oneself of passions, that is, become whiter. And Chionia means snowy. So you need to cleanse your soul so that it is snow-white, as it is said in the psalm: “I will be whiter than snow.” And then what is said: “Give joy and gladness to my hearing” - this is a foretaste of bliss as the purification progresses, and then “the humble bones will rejoice” (Ps. 51:8-9). Father blessed Father Nicholas to read the fortieth conversation of the Monk Macarius of Egypt: “That all virtues and all bad deeds are interconnected and, like links in a chain, depend on each other.” There are these words: “All the virtues are connected to each other, like links in a spiritual chain, depending on one another: prayer from love, love from joy, joy from meekness, meekness from humility, humility from service, service from hope, hope from faith, faith from obedience, obedience from simplicity... The main thing in any good zeal and the height of merit is diligent stay in prayer. Through this, by asking God, we can daily acquire other virtues.” One day Father unexpectedly said to Fr. Nikolai: “The Lord brought you here.” As if you are for Optina, and Optina is for you... But Ivan Belyaev could not find peace here in the Skete. Father Nikolai wrote: “On May 4, Ivanushka came to me and read me his poem “The Sea” and asked: which poem do I like best? I didn’t remember all his poems and so I said: “Well, that’s nothing...” All Ivanushka’s poems are more deplorable than this. Ivanushka thought that I liked it the most and precisely because it depicts the struggle and beauty of nature. So he, having come from me to his cell, wrote another poem, which he dedicated to me, making an inscription. He gave them to me on May 6, and on May 7 I showed them to Father. Father read them to me. But still, Father forbade Ivanushka to write poems for now, for what reasons - I don’t know 36.” Ivan writes in his commentary that Fr. Barsanuphius forbade him to write poetry “after he read the verse “On the Rivers of Babylon.” There is a lot of sorrow in this poem, including the fact that my sobs are alien to both Father Barsanuphius and Fr. Nikolai. But I felt very bad, and already on May 14, Father himself came to the idea that it was better for me to live in Moscow, no longer at his own insistence, but for obedience... I left in a peaceful mood, but in great sorrow.” “On Friday, May 14,” wrote Fr. Nikolai, - Ivanushka wrote a letter to Father, I gave this letter to Father. Father called this letter terrible and decided that it was better for Ivanushka to live in Moscow (of course, in a monastery). And so on Sunday they served a farewell prayer and memorial service for the elders, and on the 17th, Monday, Ivanushka left. I feel sorry for him from the bottom of my heart. I fraternally blessed him with the icon of St. Great Martyr and Healer Panteleimon. Before leaving, we sat in my cell. Then they got up, prayed, said goodbye, and he left. I am very pleased that he left in a peaceful mood. And I said goodbye to Father well. May God help him." Ivan Belyaev lived in Moscow, constantly visiting Bishop Tryphon in the Epiphany Monastery. In the summer of 1910, he composed a full service with an akathist to St. Parthenius of Lampsaki, whose icon he brought from Athos. “I gave the manuscript to Bishop Tryphon,” he recalled, “and he, on his own behalf, without my statements, sent it to the Synod... The Holy Synod instructed Archbishop Anthony (Khrapovitsky) to consider the manuscript. After his report to the Holy Synod, the latter was sent for registration to the Moscow Spiritual Censorship Committee. It was printed in 1912." In November 1910, Ivan Belyaev returned to Skit again and was well received by Fr. Barsanuphius, settled in a cell and received his former obedience - sexton. How many temptations, worries, difficulties everyone has, not excluding the Elder himself... And he, the Elder, no, no, will say: “Life is bliss!” With these words he once puzzled students from the Theological Academy. After his explanation, they realized that there was a great truth in this. How many times have I heard this about. Nikolai... And here again, in a conversation with spiritual children - May 30, 1910 - Fr. Barsanuphius says: - Life is bliss. These words may seem strange. How can one call life bliss if there are failures, disappointments, and disappointments at every step? How much grief people endure. Life, some say, is work, and often thankless work - what kind of bliss is there? And yet I repeat - life is bliss... Life will become bliss for us when we learn to fulfill the commandments of Christ and love Christ. Then we will live joyfully, joyfully endure the sorrows that come our way, and ahead of us will shine with indescribable light the Sun of Truth - the Lord... All the Gospel commandments begin with the words: “Blesseds... - blessedness of meekness, blessedness of mercy, blessedness of the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:3-9)... From here it follows, as a truth, that fulfilling the commandments brings people the highest happiness. This was always followed by a continuation - oh. Barsanuphius recalled what the great elder Ambrose of Optina said: - Monasticism is bliss. “Indeed,” explained Fr. Barsanuphius, - the spiritual joy that the monastery gives is so great that in one minute you can forget all the sorrows of life: both worldly and monastic. The devil works hard, wanting to distract people from serving God (and in the world he achieves this easily). It is more difficult for him to fight in a monastery, which is why the spirit of malice hates monasteries so much and tries in every possible way to denigrate them in the eyes of inexperienced people... Meanwhile, I will not be wrong in saying that only monastics can achieve the highest bliss. It is possible to be saved in the world, but it is impossible to become completely white, to be washed from the old man, to rise to the heights equal to the angels, to the highest spiritual creativity in the world. As an example of such worldly people, Fr. Barsanuphius takes “artists”, i.e. generally creative intellectuals (writers, musicians, painters). They often have spiritual strength, which, however, is not directed towards God. But even such aspiration sometimes flares up in them, then goes out. “Most of our best artists and writers,” says Fr. Barsanuphius, - can be compared with people who came to church when the service had already begun and the church was full of people. Such people stand at the entrance, it is difficult to enter, and they do not make any effort to do so. Something can be heard here from the service: “The Cherubic Song”, “We sing to You”... So they stood, stood and left without visiting the church itself. So artists and poets stood at the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven, but did not enter it, and yet so many means were given to them to enter there. Their souls, like dynamites, flared up at the slightest spark, but, unfortunately, they did not fan this spark, and it went out. The poet’s thoughts, expressed in his work, are his confession, although the writer himself is often not aware of this. Let's take for example Lermontov's poem: The poor man is withered, barely alive From hunger, thirst and suffering. He only asked for a piece of bread, This beggar Lermontov is talking about is himself. And “someone” is Satan, putting a stone instead of bread, replacing faith itself... And now he is doing it. Under his influence, a “new Christianity” was created. He was inspired by Tolstoy, who composed his gospel, his Christianity.” This was said to the worldly people who read - the Elder, in conversations with them, always resorted to literary examples, often in a few phrases he revealed the essence of the phenomenon, set milestones, everywhere bringing the “reader’s” secular thought closer to the spiritual, imperceptibly drawing the listener to purely spiritual issues. Thus, unexpectedly turning Lermontov's plot (the poet's is purely love), he discovered a new aspect in the text, much deeper than it was according to the author's plan. Judgments about Barsanuphias are insightful. He used to talk a lot about Gogol’s spiritual path; it would seem that Gogol is the most spiritual writer in our literary classics. But in the conversation just quoted, the Elder says: “Of our Russian writers, Pushkin sought God almost more than others, but whether he found Him, I don’t know.” For him, Pushkin’s sincerity is beyond doubt; the poet simply died early. And for Gogol, Pushkin is a forerunner in spiritual terms. In “Selected Passages from Correspondence with Friends,” Gogol says about Pushkin: “He has recently picked up a lot of Russian life and spoke about everything so aptly and intelligently... but even more remarkable was what was being built inside his very soul.” By quoting Pushkin, Gogol points out how spiritually Pushkin sees everything. So he describes Mount Kazbek, and what comes to his mind when looking at this peak? Here’s what: “There, in a cell beyond the clouds, in the neighborhood of God, I should hide!” Father Barsanuphius teaches spiritual interpretation not only of literary works, but also of one’s own life - of every person - all its manifestations down to the smallest. “Our whole life is the great mystery of God,” he says. – All circumstances of life, no matter how insignificant they may seem, are of great importance. We will fully understand the meaning of real life in the next century. How carefully we need to treat it, and we turn over our life like a book - sheet after sheet, without realizing what is written there. There is no chance in life, everything happens according to the will of the Creator. May the Lord grant us with this life to acquire the right to enter eternal life.” The Elder said to Father Nicholas when they were taking a short walk in the Skete on a summer evening: “The Lord would allow me to live at least until I reach your mantle, so that you will be strengthened in spirit.” There is a material mantle, and there is a spiritual one... We must strengthen ourselves in the spirit. – What is strengthening in the spirit? - In selflessness. In selflessness for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ. In the rejection of everything, whatever it is. In imputation of everything, as they are able 37, for the sake of the Lord. This is a very complex psyche of spiritual life... 1910 seems to be the last more or less calm year for Fr. Barsanuphia. And it was a good summer (the previous two or three summers were rainy). Priest Vasily Shustin, in his memoirs about Optina, published in 1919 in Serbia, describes this summer in detail; he and two other St. Petersburg students then arrived to meet with the elders of the Skete. Father Vasily does not skimp on details, and they create a visible image of the monastery: “A winding path through a dense forest led to the monastery monastery. On the way we met novices and monks, and they all bowed to the waist with their eyes downcast. This silence, these silent bows somehow mysteriously acted on the soul, preparing it for something big. Then the Skete appeared, surrounded by a wooden wall. Directly there was a large, deep gate, above which rose a bell tower. In the depths of the gate, on both sides, images of St. John the Baptist and the Egyptian desert dwellers. On the outside of the wall, on both sides of the gate, there were porches through which women entered the elders... We entered the Skete through a small gate in the gate and were immediately struck by the fragrance of the air - it was from rose bushes and flower beds. Everywhere was immaculately clean. The gatekeeper immediately came out of our cell and asked who we wanted to see. Having learned that we had come to Elder Joseph, he pointed us to his house to the right. The door was locked, we knocked. The cell attendant came to us and said that Father was very weak and was unlikely to receive us, but he still went and reported that three students had arrived from St. Petersburg. Elder Joseph allowed us to be admitted into the reception room. After some time we saw a gray-haired, weak, short old man. He brought us three pieces of paper from the Trinity Lavra of St. Sergius and asked us to forgive him for being very weak and unable to talk to us. He blessed us, each individually, and gave us a piece of paper. We went out, sat on a bench among the flower beds and began to read the leaves... Sitting in the garden, we did not see a single monk. It turns out that according to the rules, skete monks do not have the right to visit each other without the permission of the Elder. Each monk and novice had a separate cell, and there were two such cells in each house. The houses were scattered among the fruit trees, small, white, with green roofs. There was also a cemetery there.” After sitting on a bench, the students went back and met a monk with whom they started talking. “It’s nice,” he said, “to see such young people – students, striving for God’s one truth, and that’s why I want to get to know you. Tolstoyan students often visit us here. Some of them are inveterate, stubborn, with great conceit, and remain inaccessible to the grace of God, and sincere people, thanks to the prayers and conversations of the great elder Father Barsanuphius, become true sons of the Orthodox Church. Have you seen this old man? We replied that we did not know about him, but were with Elder Joseph. “Elder Joseph will not give you that, he is very weak in health and leads only the sisters of the Shamordino monastery, which was founded by Elder Ambrose. Our elder - the elder of the brethren - is the abbot of the Skete, Fr. Barsanuphius. Now in the morning he is busy with business orders and letters, and he has been receiving since two and a half hours. Be sure to visit him and receive great consolation.” With these words he walked on. We returned to our place at 11 o'clock, just in time for lunch. Male pilgrims can attend a common monastic meal. But for the first time, they brought us lunch to our room. Lunch consisted of pearl barley soup, boiled fish and buckwheat porridge. The portions were very large, along with sweetish black rye bread. They brought wonderful kvass for drinking. After lunch we lay down for a while and went to explore the monastery.” After touring the monastery, visiting the graves of the elders and churches, the students headed through the eastern gate to the Skete. “The Elder’s reception had already begun, and the doors were open. Through a small glass balcony we entered a corridor, along the walls of which there were benches. Usually, from time to time, the Elder’s cell attendant would come out here to the visitors and ask who they were and where they were from, and report to the Elder. But now we haven't seen it. As soon as we entered the corridor, the doors from the Elder’s cell opened, and he, in extraordinary beauty, appeared before us - tall, stately, majestic, with a head covered with white silver hair without any shade of yellow. There was a gentle smile on his face. He spread his arms and said: – Finally, the trinity I had been waiting for for a long time appeared to me. What took you so long to come here? I was waiting for you. Please, please, here... And he took us into his cell. We approached him with trepidation for his blessing, he patted each of us on the head. He himself stood in the doorway, and ordered us to go forward and place ourselves wherever we wanted. I sat down in a chair near the iconostasis and began to examine the cell. It was small. In the corner there were several images with a lamp; in front of them stood a lectern. The furnishings of the room consisted of a table, a sofa and three armchairs. Part of the room was separated by a curtain, behind which was the Elder’s bed. Portraits of former elders hung on the walls. As soon as we settled in, the Elder entered the room and immediately approached me: - Look what you are! I stood in the doorway and looked to see who would sit where, and you just sat down in the old man’s place! I stood up in embarrassment and said: - Sorry, Father, I didn’t know, I’ll change seats now. And he put his hands on my shoulders and sat me down again and said: “You wanted to be an old man, and maybe you will be one... And he raised his eyes and began to look up... Then he looked at me carefully and continued: “My heart aches for you; you won’t graduate from college.” I don’t know why, but you won’t finish... Father rang the bell. The cell attendant appeared and ordered him to put on the samovar and prepare tea. And he sat down with us and began to talk. At first he remembered St. Petersburg, where he was when he was studying at officer courses... After these memories he moved on to the topic of Tolstoy. Great evil is Tolstoy’s teaching, how much it destroys young souls. Previously, Tolstoy really was a beacon in literature and shone in the darkness, but later his lantern went out, and he found himself in darkness, and, like a blind man, he wandered into a swamp, where he got stuck and died... While Father was talking with us, the cell attendant brought tea in glasses, put honey from his own monastery hives, jam and olives on the table. Father began to treat us like a hospitable host, he himself put honey and jam on the plates. He ordered another voluntary donation of pressed caviar, spread it on white bread in a thick layer, and convinced us not to be shy. He himself then went to the women’s quarters to bless those gathered, and from the men he did not accept anyone else for conversation, but only gave a blessing. Having learned that we had arrived here for a week and a half, he divided the days of our festivities and the days of our fasting. He also blessed us to go to the Shamordino monastery. Then, at parting, he took my head and pressed it to his chest, caressing me with great love and expressing regret that I would not graduate from college. This way the Elder treated me surprised me and touched me to tears: I did not know parental affection. The next day we again came to Father Barsanuphius at the visiting hour. Again he invited us to his cell, ordered the cell attendant, Father Gregory, to prepare tea for us, and he himself went to the reception room to confess to those who were fasting. We sat in his cell quietly, with reverence, occasionally only exchanging words. Finally, Father appeared again, bright and joyful, and began to treat us. Then he started a conversation about various sects: Khlysty, Baptists, etc. Here are the Baptists-rebaptists, what a terrible sin they commit against the Holy Spirit by rebaptizing adults: they wash away the first baptism and destroy the grace of the seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit!... After talking for an hour, he stood up and said: “I have the custom of blessing my spiritual children with icons. I have a lot of them in my drawer and a wide variety of them. So I prayerfully take the first one I come across and see whose image is there. Other times it says a lot." So the Elder took out the icon for me and looked at what image there was. It turned out - “Quench my sorrows”... What kind of great sorrows will I have? The elder, holding the icon, thought: no... The Lord does not open. He blessed me with it and again pressed my head with affection. And here, on the Elder’s chest, you feel the depth of peace and voluntarily surrender to it with all your heart. This love of his embraces you, protects you and captivates you... “Tomorrow,” he says, “is Sunday.” Today go to the all-night vigil, and in the morning at six o’clock come to the Skete for mass. He walked us to the porch and blessed us again. Arriving at our place, we heard the bell ringing for dinner in the monastery refectory. So we went there. The refectory occupied a very large room, since there were about four hundred monks in the monastery. The tables were arranged in a large quadrangle. In the middle, on a raised platform, there was a lectern. On this elevation, the monks take turns reading the lives of the saints during lunch and dinner. On each table there was a utensil consisting of a wooden plate, spoon and fork. Black bread lay on everyone's plate. In addition, quite a lot of vessels with kvass were placed on the table and there were ladles with them. At the ringing of the abbot or his cell attendant, prayer was performed, and at the second ring, the doors from the kitchen, which was located nearby, opened: a whole row of novices carried large bowls across the tables. Each bowl was shared by four monks. Whoever wanted it put it on his plate, otherwise, for the most part, four people ate from one bowl. ... The all-night vigil began at 6.30 pm and ended at 11.30 am. All the monks had to gather for the all-night vigil, leaving their work. The church had raised seats along the walls. Almost every monk had a specific place. The monks closest to us gave up their seats to us - the service was long, they said. No matter how hard it was for us because we weren’t used to it, we still stuck it out and made it to the end. In the morning we got up at the beginning of the sixth hour and went to mass at the Skete. Elder Barsanuphius himself served. He served calmly, in an even, quiet voice. The atmosphere itself, some darkness, dark gilded icons contributed to the emergence of prayer. After mass, letting us kiss the cross, he invited us to immediately come to him for a cup of tea. Here he treated us again, like a warm, hospitable host. He asked us about our city life and who we were acquainted with. Again, with great affection and kindness, he let us go, inviting us to dinner at the skete refectory at 11 and a half o'clock, which we took advantage of. The order in the skete refectory was the same as in the monastery. Only the fasting rules were stricter here. Dairy in the Skete was allowed only during butter week and on Bright Week, and the rest of the time everything was on vegetable oil, and on Wednesday and Friday there was food without butter at all. Father Barsanuphius was present at the meal and seated the three of us next to him, and we ate from the same bowl. “We have healthy food here,” he said, “because everything is done with blessings and prayer.” Every morning at five o'clock the cook comes and asks for blessings to light the stove. Having received this blessing, he goes with a flashlight to the church of God, prays and takes fire from an unquenchable lamp in front of the miraculous icon of the Mother of God and then melts the oven with this fire. After lunch, the Elder went to his place to rest and told us to go and rest, and the next day he blessed us to go to the Shamordino Monastery. Having returned from Shamordin, we began fasting. According to the monastic charter, the laity were supposed to eat food without oil two days before Communion. There was always a special table prepared for fasting people. During the fast it was necessary to go to all services.” In connection with confession to Elder Barsanuphius, Fr. Vasily said the following: “There was one such case with me. Our family had its own subscription in St. Petersburg to opera performances at the Mariinsky Theater. And so, it was a year before my arrival in Optina, our subscription included “Faust” with Chaliapin, just before December 6, the day of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. I really wanted to listen to this opera with Chaliapin. Well, I think I won’t have to go to the Vespers, so I’ll get up early the next day and go to Matins. And I entered into such a compromise with myself. I went to the opera, and in the morning, belatedly, I attended matins, and then early mass, and thought: “Well, today I honored the memory of the saint of God, St. Nicholas.” Although something pricked my soul, it was forgotten. And so Father, before confession, says that there are times when you do not even suspect your sins. Like, for example, instead of honoring the memory of such a great saint of God - St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, on December 6, and going to the all-night vigil, they go to the theater for self-pleasure. The saint of God is relegated to the background, and so the sin is committed.” Subsequently Fr. Vasily recalled the words of Elder Barsanuphius about the grace of eldership: “The elders are called seers, indicating that they can see the future: yes, great grace is given to eldership - this is the gift of reasoning. This is the greatest gift God gives to man. In addition to physical eyes, they also have spiritual eyes, before which the human soul opens. Before a person thinks, before a thought arises in him, they see it with spiritual eyes, they even see the reason for the emergence of such a thought. And nothing is hidden from them. You live in St. Petersburg and think that I don’t see you. Whenever I want, I will see everything you do and think..." Father was very active this summer, receiving many people every day, but suddenly a rumor spread that he was ill. His spiritual children were alarmed. When nun Elena Shamonina came to his appointment at three o’clock in the afternoon, “he came out to me pale and serious,” she recalled. “For God’s sake and for your sake I just came out,” he said and led me to the prayer room. He spoke briefly about my case and complained about his exhaustion and ill health.” On the same day in the evening (it was July 10), as Fr. Nikolai, “I went with Father to the vigil, but Father stood for a very short time and, calling me, went home from the church and immediately went to bed. First, I read to Father a little from the book “On the Caucasus Mountains,” then we talked about something... Then Father stopped talking: he was getting worse and worse, he had a strong fever and was shaking with fever. Brother Nikita came with kathisma, and we sat together with Father.” On Sunday the 11th Fr. Barsanuphius became even worse. “Father was lying,” writes Fr. Nikolai. - They sent for Fr. Panteleimon, paramedic. I sat near Father almost all the time. Father couldn’t get up on his own, he had to be lifted up... Fr. Theodosius and Fr. Archimandrite (Xenophon). In the evening at 7-8 o'clock Fr. came again. Feodosius. Father called me, ordered me to find the ranks of tonsure into the ryasophore, mantle and schema, and then call Fathers Nektary and Kuksha, which I did. We began to prepare everything for Father’s tonsure into the schema. When I was alone with Father in his office and was taking out various things, Father said: “We must have to part, what I haven’t finished, let the grace of God do it...” Tears came to my throat. What the separation would consist of, I did not clearly imagine, and I, who did not admit the possibility that Father might die, thought: will Father really end the days of his earthly life?.. Finally, everything was ready and the tonsure began. I sang, but very weakly, together with others, then held the book to Father to give answers to questions. Then he held a book about. Feodosia. Finally, they put the schema on Father - I looked, and tears began to rise in my throat again, but I resisted. The tonsure ended, we all came up to congratulate and receive the blessing. Here, I thought, in my presence they put the schema on Father. Then Father gave a jar of jam to those who participated in the tonsure, except us. When everyone left, Father told me: “Now another life must begin.” Around ten o’clock everyone finished, read the evening prayers and went to bed.” The next day Fr. Barsanuphius felt better. Having gathered his strength, he came to visit him. Joseph. In the following days, Fr. Barsanuphius, feeling that things were getting better, spoke to Fr. Nikolai: – Schema is the edge: either death or recovery... I feel that the schema has raised me. I was supposed to die, but a reprieve was given. O. Nectarius is now my adoptive father. He comes today and says, among other things, the following: “And this is what they read at the meal today: one monk died and came to life, and told the brethren that he had been told that a reprieve was given for 15 years, and exactly 15 years later on this day he died.” Father Nektary might not have noticed this, but he noticed and told me, and he now relates to me as an adoptive father. Then Fr. Theodosius said that he had noticed a tumor on my face for three weeks already and therefore immediately offered me a schema, pointing out the tumor as a sign of death. I said: “God’s will be done,” because it is scary to abandon the schema. The schema gives forgiveness of all sins. Besides, I had a feeling of death, and Fr. Theodosius says: “Who can guarantee that you will remain alive this night?” I agreed. Father Archimandrite willingly agreed, and so I was tonsured... I feel that a new life has begun in me, what it is - I myself don’t know very well. I feel the storms getting stronger. I didn’t think that I would get relief, but I also didn’t think that they would get so strong. Fears for the future began... And there, at the entrance to the Skete, at the locked doors of the monastery’s house, women, both laymen and nuns, the spiritual children of Fr. Barsanuphia. “It was difficult for us,” writes Mother Elena, “especially because there was nowhere for us to get reliable information from, and we suffered, rushing here and there, like sheep without a shepherd. Finally, we decided to contact Father’s confessor, Fr. Theodosius, who was going to Skete. Seeing him, we turned to him: his appearance promised little good. He himself hesitated in response to our impatient questions, and then said: “Father is very sick... and now I have tonsured him into the schema. Father was so weak that at the end of the tonsure he began to urge: “Hurry, hurry!” This news made on us the same impression that the message about unction and communion makes in the world: tonsure into the schema is tonsure for death (it flashed in the mind). Several more days passed, and Father came out one day - pale and weak, and so bright... “I was dying and through someone’s prayers I was resurrected,” he said to one of the spiritual children. “I thought I wouldn’t get up.” When Fr. Theodosius offered me the schema, my heart skipped a beat: this is death, which means it won’t be the end today or tomorrow and I will have to appear before the throne of God... What will I appear with? What will I answer? I looked back - there was a gap here, there was a mistake, it wasn’t finished, it wasn’t done - just mistakes. Scary! Well, apparently, God had mercy and left more time for repentance... It was terrible to hear these speeches: if Father, looking back at his life, saw only mistakes and mistakes in it, then what would we see in our past, if only we received the proper visual acuity? Father Nikolai said that the schema-monk is a prayer book for the whole world. One day, coming from the monastery from mass where he served, Father, as Fr. writes. Nikolai, “took off his cassock, under which the schema was worn on his shirt, as befits a secret hieroschemamonk when he serves mass. Father pressed me to his shoulder and chest and said: “Here I press you to the schema, may the Lord grant you also to accept the schema...” Another time he said to Fr. Nikolai: “Stand firm, don’t turn aside, you are on the straight path. Help, Lord..." On the feast of the Nativity of the Virgin Mary, September 8, the monks of the skete with Fr. Barsanuphius came to the vigil at the monastery. “When I left the church,” writes Fr. Nicholas, - it was a wonderful night, - monuments and graves bathed in moonlight. Silence, only the singing of Divine words can be heard from the church. I went to bow to the graves of the great elders. Near the grave of Fr. The monk stood motionless, leaning on the lattice of a nearby grave; I couldn’t see his face. Perhaps he is a prayer monk with a poetic soul, immersed in prayerful delight... Having bowed to the elders and asking for their holy prayers, I went to the Skete.” September came, it got colder... The trees in the Skete began to crumble, soon dry leaves rustled underfoot everywhere... The nights were cold, but with a clear starry sky, moonlight flooded everything... Here comes Fr. Nikolai from Fr. Barsanuphia, shivering from the coolness, would walk around the night Skete with the Jesus Prayer, but it’s cold, I wouldn’t catch a cold... On one hand there are rosary beads, in the other - a jar of jam - Father carefully endowed, knowing that Fr. Nikolai likes to drink tea. Peace, silence... How can one not remember the old words: “Monasticism is bliss”... And how great is the mercy of the Lord! After all, only for him, oh. Nicholas, He gave the difficult, but great happiness of being a close disciple of the elder, following ancient examples... How many centuries have passed, but it seems like they lived so recently - the Egyptian and Sinai ascetics, wonderful saints of God... And here are the Optina elders - they all grew up like this, one after the other... Isn’t it for me... Then I realized Fr. Nikolai: “Forgive me, Lord!” - began to drive away vainglorious thoughts (“shouldn’t I be the successor of Father Barsanuphius...”). He later wrote in his diary: “Vanity thoughts attack.” The next day, at the revelation of thoughts, I opened this one too. “Sometimes from Father’s words and deeds,” he wrote, “I see, how accessible it is to me, Father’s wisdom and reasoning, faith in God, hope in his mercy and other monastic virtues, but I am truly poor and wretched. I am not always aware of this, but there are moments. Lord, give me humility!”... “I open my thoughts and feel the beneficialness of this”... In the fall of 1910, events occurred related to the “departure” from Yasnaya Polyana and the death of Tolstoy. Leo Tolstoy, as you know, was excommunicated from the Church on February 22, 1901 by the Holy Synod for blasphemy against her and for his false teaching. On October 28, 1910, he ran away from home at about five in the morning and in the evening he was already at the hotel in Optina Pustyn. The Chronicle of Skete records: “The famous writer Count Leo Tolstoy arrived in Optina Pustyn. Stopping at the monastery hotel, he asked the head of it, the ryassophore novice Mikhail: “Perhaps it’s unpleasant for you that I came to you? I am Leo Tolstoy, excommunicated; I came to talk to your elders. Tomorrow I’ll leave for Shamordino.” In the evening, going to the hotel, he asked who the abbot was, who the monastery leader was, how many fraternities there were, who the elders were, whether Fr. was healthy. Joseph and does he accept? The next day he went for a walk twice, and was seen at the Skete, but did not go to the Skete, did not visit the elders, and at 3 o’clock he left for Shamordino. About Tolstoy’s stay in Optina, Fr. The rector reported to His Eminence Kaluga. There is the following information about the count’s stay in Shamordino: his meeting with his sister, the Shamordino nun, was very touching - the count hugged her with tears, after which they talked for a long time together. By the way, the count said that he was in Optina, that it was good there, that he would gladly put on a cassock and live, doing the most base and difficult things, but that he would make it a condition not to force him to pray, which he cannot. In response to his sister’s remark that he too would be given the condition not to preach or teach anything, the count replied: “What to teach! You have to study there,” and said that the next day he would go overnight to Optina to see the elders. He spoke well of Shamordino and said that even here he would shut himself up in his church and prepare for death... The next day in the middle of the day he was again with his sister, and in the evening the count’s daughter unexpectedly arrived and took him away with her at night.” Tolstoy approached the gates of the Skete twice, but did not dare to enter. Father Barsanuphius was in his cell at that time, but did not know that Tolstoy, with a vague thought: whether to enter or not to enter, was a few meters away from him behind the wall of the house... Tolstoy walked around the Skete, sat on his folding chair and returned to the hotel... In Shamordin he fell ill. On the evening of the 30th, his daughter Alexandra Lvovna came here with her friend V.M. Feoktistova and doctor D.P. Makovitsky. At dawn on the 31st, they took Tolstoy to Kozelsk and put him on a train. He, however, felt so bad that they got off at Astapovo station. The station chief gave Tolstoy several rooms in his house. Tolstoy barely made it to bed... Father Nikolai wrote in his diary on November 5: “On the evening of October 28, Count Tolstoy arrived in Optina. On the 29th he left Optina without visiting Fr. Archimandrite, neither from Father, nor from Fr. Joseph. Having reached the Astapovo station, he felt unwell and did not go further. I don’t know the details, only the Holy Synod blessed Fr. Joseph (for the count knew Father Joseph and visited him) to go to the count to convince him of the truths of the Holy Orthodox Church. Father Joseph wanted to go, but, feeling very weak, he refused. Then the telegram gave the blessing to Father to go instead of Fr. Joseph. Yesterday evening Father began to get ready. For some reason I became agitated internally... Father told me that he was thinking of taking me with him. At about 12 o'clock yesterday night, having packed everything up, we went to our cells. I got up at 4 o'clock this morning. At six o'clock I am with the sexton and Fr. A prayer service was sent with Nectarius. Father stood at the altar. Then after the prayer service everyone went to Father. Then I went to my cell, finally got ready, and finally we went to the monastery to Fr. Archimandrite. Father with Fr. Theodosius walked ahead... I walked behind... Arriving at Fr. Archimandrite, everyone went about their business... Suddenly Father called me and announced that I was staying, and said goodbye to me. I still waited for Father to leave.” The same day, November 5, entry in the “Chronicle of Skete”: “On the morning of the 4th of this month, a telegram was received from the Right Reverend of Kaluga about the appointment, by order of the Synod, of the former skete commander, Hieromonk Joseph, to go to the Astapovo station of the Ryazan-Ural Railway to see Count Leo Tolstoy, who fell ill on the way, to offer him a spiritual conversation and religious consolation in order to reconcile with the Church. This was received by telegram that Fr. Joseph is sick and cannot go out for air, but he decided to go out of obedience. At the same time, the rector of Optina sought permission due to the difficulty for Fr. Joseph to go to his appointment to replace him Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius. This was followed by the answer of Bishop Benjamin that the Holy Synod allowed this. Then Fr. The rector asked the bishop by telegram whether, in case of Tolstoy’s repentance, it would be enough to join him to the Church through the sacrament of Repentance and Holy Communion, to which the answer was received that the person sent to talk with Tolstoy was to inform the right reverend of Kaluga about the result of this conversation, so that the bishop could communicate with the Synod about the future. On the evening of the 4th, from the elder Fr. Joseph was asked by telegram from the head of the Astapovo station whether Tolstoy was there, whether he could be found on the evening of the 5th, and if he left, then where. To this the answer was received that Tolstoy’s family asks not to leave. However, on the morning of this number, Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius, in pursuance of the synodal order, went to see Count Tolstoy in Astapovo.” Shortly before this, Fr. Barsanuphius said to Nilus: “The Great Elder Ambrose said to the same Marya Nikolaevna in response to her grief about her brother: “God has a lot of mercy: He may forgive your brother too. But for this he needs to repent and bring his repentance before the whole world. Just as he sinned for the whole world, so he must repent before him. But when people talk about God’s mercy, they forget about His justice, and yet God is not only merciful, but also just. Just think: He gave His Only Begotten Son, His beloved Son, to die on the cross at the hand of the creature, in fulfillment of justice! After all, not only the earth-born marvel at the mystery of this glorious and wondrous one, but also the entire heavenly army cannot comprehend the depths of this justice and the love and mercy associated with it... But it is terrible to fall into the hands of the Living God!” And so Elder Barsanuphius arrived at the Astapovo station. Fr. was with him. Panteleimon, medical assistant at the monastery hospital, later treasurer of the monastery, new martyr. They did not manage to see Tolstoy. His daughter Alexandra Lvovna prevented this. Elder Barsanuphius wrote her a letter asking to be allowed to see the dying man and received an immediate response that Tolstoy did not want this, and the will of her parent was sacred to her... Father Barsanuphius replied: “I respectfully thank Your Excellency for your letter, in which you write that the will of your parent and for your entire family comes first. But you, Countess, know that the Count expressed to his sister, and to your aunt, the nun Mother Maria, a desire to see us and talk with us.” Father Barsanuphius telegraphed from Astapovo station to Bishop Benjamin of Kaluga: “Count Tolstoy died today, November 7 at 6 o’clock. morning... He died without repentance. I wasn't invited." In another telegram, he said: “According to the will of the count, his body will be transported tomorrow to Yasnaya Polyana and buried without church rites in the garden.” On the platform of the Elder station, newspapermen surrounded him: – Your interview, Father! – Here is my interview, write it like this: although he was a Leo, he could not break the rings of the chain with which Satan bound him. With a heavy feeling - on the evening of the 8th - Fr. returned. Barsanuphius to Optina. The soul perished... Relatives did not allow Tolstoy to destroy his “Tolstoyism”, “religion” without God... I. A. Bunin in his book “The Liberation of Tolstoy” asks himself the question: “What would have happened if Alexandra Lvovna had allowed him (the Elder) to see his father?” - and answers like this: “We can assume reconciliation with the Church.” But I. M. Kontsevich in the book “The Origins of Tolstoy’s Mental Catastrophe” notes: “Wasn’t it providential that the meeting did not take place, since true repentance would not have followed?” Yes, this terrible, distorted by sin and truly satanically proud world was approaching the Holy Gates of the Optina Skete... And then Father Barsanuphius, leaving the gate, stopped, thinking for a minute. It was as if he saw the figure of an old man with a large gray beard and shaggy eyebrows, dressed in a sheepskin coat and leaning on a stick, glorified in this modern world, an apostle of his own faith... “He stood at the gate,” thought Fr. Barsanuphia, but we never got to see each other. He left in a hurry... It’s a pity... It means it wasn’t God’s will.” During the trip, the world flashed again in its terrible diversity: smug shaven gentlemen on the train, men and women hurrying somewhere with bags, clearly not wanderers, and there was a cloud of journalists at the Astapovo station - in bowlers and checkered jackets... Telegraph operators and young ladies at the post office... Their eyes indifferently slide over the figures of two monks... The rumble of wheels on iron... Smoke and coal dust, carried by the wind... On Christmastide Fr. Barsanuphius, having gathered his children in the prayer room, as usual, drew their attention to the fact that the world, during church holidays, and especially the Twelfth, considers it its duty to completely let loose. – What is happening in the world now is scary to think... Gluttony, drunkenness, debauchery... We are going through fierce times: people rebel against each other, often do not spare either kinship or friendship, they rebel against legitimate authority. Everything has been trampled underfoot - faith, virtues, shame... It’s not boring, but scary to live in this world, gentlemen! 38 However, one should not be discouraged by this. It was worse, but it has passed... This time is not yet before the Antichrist. Unbridledness intensified after the announcement of all sorts of freedoms under Emperor Alexander II... Here is the theater - today it has a corrupting effect on the soul, in it such indecent things as Andreev's "Anatema" are played... The fate of a person who died suddenly in the midst of sin will be terrible... Here is one rich man who married a poor girl and began to mock her, and he himself indulged in a life of fornication. Once at the theater I went to the buffet, took a glass of wine and suddenly fell dead... What is it like for such a soul to appear at the judgment of God? One day in Vienna, in the Rink Theater, a fire broke out, many people died. The spectacle made a stunning impression when a mass of black coffins stretched along the Viennese streets in the direction of the cemetery... Now everything is permitted, and even on major holidays there are theatrical performances (previously they did not play in state-owned theaters on holidays)... It's about. Barsanuphia was woven from reasoning and examples, intertwined as if in a random order, but, according to the testimony of those who heard it, it made an irresistible impression on the soul: it forced the listener’s mind to work, to remember, and as a result, the person left with an enriched soul. “With a lot of things to do, I don’t have to prepare for conversations, and therefore there is no strict sequence in them,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, - and I remind you of that beggar about whom Polonsky writes: I knew a beggar; like a shadow From morning to night, all day long But everything he collected per day The sick, the crippled and the blind, As poor as himself. The old man is already in his declining years, And what the Lord will send him, He takes everything with gratitude, With a beggar like himself. Indeed, whatever the Lord inspires in me, that’s what I’m talking to you about, my children.” “When the valve in the heart closes for the perception of worldly pleasures,” he said, “then another valve opens - for the perception of spiritual ones.” But how to acquire this?.. First of all, through peace and love for others... Patience... Who will be saved? “He who endures to the end” 39 ... And by avoiding sinful pleasures, such as playing cards, dancing, etc. One man saw quadrille dancers in a dream, and the Angel of the Lord admonished him, saying: “Look, what are they doing? After all, this dance is a desecration of the Cross of Christ.” Indeed, the French quadrille in the era of the revolution was invented to trample on the Cross - four or eight people dance it so that the cross just comes out... One shema had a dream: she imagined people dancing, they were engulfed in flames and surrounded by a rope, demons were jumping and gloating about the death of people... Now there are holidays, but what is the difference between how these holy days are celebrated in the world and how in the monastery. There - service to the enemy, here - service to God... And it’s all like this: there - literature of immoral content, here - reading the Psalter, the lives of saints... There is drunken delight, here there is joy and peace in the Lord... About reading - I do not want to say that reading the works of our great writers is a sin, but there is reading that is more useful and edifying. Take the Psalter - here we can draw all the pure aesthetic pleasures. Although this book was written by a man - the King and Prophet David, it was inspired by the Holy Spirit. The prophet David himself says: “My tongue is the reed of a scribe” (Ps. 44:2)... Then, the lives of the saints are reading that has a beneficial effect on the soul, especially when they are read in the Slavic language. Nowadays, the Slavic language is often not understood, and yet it is much more beautiful and richer than Russian... In the world, reading the lives of saints, and especially in the Slavic language, has been completely abandoned - you don’t follow the customs of this century, engage in this saving reading. One restless intellectual writes to me: “It’s very difficult for me. Outwardly, everything is fine, things are going well, the family is friendly, the wife is good. But the trouble is that I have no one to open my soul to: my wife doesn’t understand what I’m yearning for, and the children are still small. What should I do? How to get rid of melancholy and sorrow? I advised him to read the Psalter: “There is a verse in the 93rd Psalm: “Because of the multitude of my illnesses in my heart, Your consolations have made my soul glad” (Ps. 93:19)... Take this verse and begin to read the Psalter. I think God will comfort you.” Some time passes, I receive a letter: “I listened to you, started reading the Psalter and don’t understand a thing about it.” I write: “Great Elder Fr. Ambrose responded to the same statement: “You don’t understand, but the demons understand perfectly well and run away. Read until you understand. And someday you will begin to understand...” And I repeat to you: read the Psalter every day, at least a little, and the Lord will not leave you with His mercy, He will always be your Helper and Comforter. As if anticipating his imminent separation from his native Skete, Fr. Barsanuphius, who lived with all his interests and concerns, said to his children: – There are not many monasteries in Russia, no more than ten... But there is only one monastery, where very rarely any outsiders are in the church, and then only for mass. We always perform Matins only with our skete family. Our church makes a strong impression on outside visitors: quiet, deserted... One pious man once donated a bell weighing one hundred and fifty pounds, but it did not approach the Skete and was removed. We have the largest - 39 pounds... From the monastery brethren, especially from the sketes, a high life is required according to the commandments of Christ, a life equal to the angels. Our deceased elders fulfilled these lofty covenants, and the Lord glorifies them. Their bodies, we believe, lie incorruptible... About Father Fr. Macarius is reliably known that his body did not undergo decay, as they could verify when they erected a chapel over him, but he died about sixty years ago. Everything is useful and interesting in conversations about. Varsanuphia, but there are some particularly bright places in them. There are many of them in the 1911 conversations. We present some of them here. 1. Our great writer Gogol, who visited Optina and was reborn under the influence of a conversation with Fr. Macarius, says in his work “Notes of a Madman”: “It is still a long way from the resurrection”... Yes, the sinful soul is still far from the resurrection, but if the soul longs for this resurrection, then sooner or later it will come, and, having risen for a new life here, it will then reach the bright heavenly abodes there. But there is “the resurrection of the belly and the resurrection of judgment.” It is possible to be resurrected here “in the resurrection of judgment,” just as people who work for sin are resurrected, that is, they begin to sin even more, seducing others into sin. The fate of sinners is terrible, but only the unrepentant. If a person repents of his sins, then the Lord forgives him out of His infinite mercy. We who believe in Christ never need to become discouraged, much less despair. Let the unbelievers despair, for life without Christ is truly dark and sad. 2. A doctor I knew who had lost his faith once said: - How to believe when no one believes these days, and if anyone believes, they must remain silent, otherwise they will laugh. – Yes, indeed, carnal people laugh at the followers of Christ, while others, fearing ridicule, are cowardly silent and do not defend their faith. But Christ, looking precisely at our age, these are the terrible words he utters in His Holy Gospel: “If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory” (Mark 8:38). Have you read the Gospel? – I didn’t read it in full, but in the gymnasium I studied the Catechism, in which there were texts from the Gospel, but I don’t remember this. I opened the Gospel and showed it to him. – What will happen to those who are ashamed of Christ? – “And these go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into everlasting life” (Matthew 25:46)... – Eternal torment... And this will certainly be fulfilled on sinners. 3. One nun wrote to Father Fr. Anatoly: “I’m sick and have to lie in bed. There in the church they sing: “Praise the name of the Lord,” but I, chained to my bed, cannot take part in the church prayer.” Father Anatoly replied: “And you can be at the all-night vigil.” He writes to him again: “Father, you don’t understand me: my illness does not allow me to leave my bed.” “No,” the Elder answered her, “and you can be at the All-Night Vigil - say the Jesus Prayer using the rosary, - you will wrap the rosary thirty times, that is, you will do three thousand, and this will replace the All-Night Vigil for you, even more, since illness, although endured with sorrow, but resignedly, with the consciousness that it was sent for sins, has great cleansing power.” 4. We live in difficult times. Monasticism is not distinguished by its former severity, we are weak and infirm, and sometimes we have to encourage others. So I am in the same state, weak and infirm, I myself require help and consolation, but due to the duty of my rank I have to console those who turn to me. People come to Optina from a world that no longer groans as before, but roars. They come looking for consolation and reassurance. They want to pray, to be among this peaceful environment, and then maybe Father will say something beneficial, to listen to him... And with the help of God, by their faith, they receive what they are looking for and leave peaceful. Today many voices are heard against monasticism; the people of this world, under the influence of the spirit of evil, would like to completely wipe out monasteries from the face of the earth, but they continue to exist under the cover of God’s grace. The monastic path is difficult, but it brings with it such high joys that worldly people have no idea about and for the sake of which one can forget all the sorrows and cramped conditions of monastic life. 5. Monks, renouncing all the consolations of this world, are comforted in Christ and gain peace of mind when, as Lermontov puts it, “And you believe and cry, and so easily, easily.”... By the way, how many have wondered what kind of prayer the poet is talking about here: There is sadness in the heart: Like a burden will roll off your soul, Some suggest that Lermontov is talking about the Jesus Prayer here. They think that he knew this prayer and with his poetic sensitive soul felt its power and greatness, perhaps he began to go through it, but Satan took this prayer from him, and then the poet fell away from God and died irrevocably. It has been noticed that the enemy most attacks those people who pray in the name of Jesus. 6. We have preserved an ancient custom in the Skete: every day in the evening to come to the elder for a blessing and revelation of thoughts. Unfortunately, this holy custom has been abandoned in almost all other monasteries. Meanwhile, the enemy, day after day, will weave so much that it is difficult for the monk to unravel, but he will come to his Abba, tell him everything, he will instruct him, console him, and the enemy’s networks will be torn apart easier than a cobweb... The devil not only trembles at the person who goes to the elder to reveal his thoughts, but he even flees from his shadow. There is a wonderful book by Abba Dorotheus, which explains how important spiritual nourishment is in the matter of salvation. Whoever consults an elder about everything is easily saved, it’s just a pity that nowadays people seem to have completely forgotten this, especially in the world. There, even the performance of any religious rituals, for example, going to church, observing fasts, is considered the occupation of only women, and even more simple than intelligent ones. 7. For a long time, people have been turning to grandmothers to cure illnesses, who conjure all sorts of ailments. It happens sometimes, a person declares that not a single doctor could help, but his grandmother cured him. How? And I read a prayer, some spells, and the illness went away. But, looking closely at this woman, it is easy to notice that she is far from religious, and only goes to church once a year, and then only to avoid drawing attention to herself. Sometimes he directly blasphemes and leads a far from perfect life. But who then helps cure diseases? Obviously demons. Although she makes a prayer, it is only for show; the enemy is not at all afraid of such a prayer: he himself, tempting God, quoted the words of Holy Scripture: “By His angel a commandment concerning You, to preserve You in all Your ways. They will lift you up in their hands, but not when you dash your foot against a stone” (Ps. 90:11-12). The Word of God says about such external prayer: “And their prayer will become sin” (Ps. 109:7). 8. There are three states of the soul: hot, lukewarm and cold. An ardent person burns with love for God and fulfills His law as the need of his soul. The opposite state is coldness, when religious issues are not dear to a person, he is deeply indifferent to them. He even goes to church once a month, and is in no hurry to fulfill its orders, but it happens that such a person, having heard the call of the Lord, suddenly lights up and walks with firm feet along the path of good. A lukewarm person is in the most dangerous state: he often goes to church, fasts, and, perhaps, gives alms, and therefore finds that everything is fine with him, that he is better than many, and this destroys him. The Lord said: “Imam will vomit you out of my mouth” (Rev. 3:16). God save us from such a state. 9 . Many people, not understanding the service, especially the all-night vigil, get bored in church and can’t wait for it to end. To enjoy the service, you need to understand it, and for this it is good to read the more difficult to understand, for example, the canon at home before the service. I knew one high-ranking person who usually gathered his whole family before a church service, read and explained to them the canon, kathismas, those prayers that are sung at the all-night vigil, and everyone who listened to him then stood in the church with great attention, and the service passed unnoticed. Try to delve into the worship of the Orthodox Church, and it will reveal to you a source of such consolation that you will joyfully rush to the church of God. “We rejoice in those who spoke to me, let us go to the house of the Lord” (Ps. 121:1), said David, then you will also say when you go to church. Amen. Around this time, 1911, two miraculous incidents associated with the name of Fr. Barsanuphia is the conversion of Princess Maria Mikhailovna Dondukova-Korsakova to the Orthodox faith and the healing of the writer Elena Andreevna Voronova from pleurisy and eye disease. “Whoever knew in St. Petersburg,” Nilus wrote, “Princess Maria Mikhailovna Dondukova-Korsakova, knew this servant of God (E. A. Voronova), and everyone who had any connection with charitable affairs in the northern capital knew both, especially in the matter of showing love and mercy to those whom the former Russian people called “unfortunate” - to those in prison - to the prisoners: these two lights of true Christianity brought both the light of repentance and the joy of forgiveness into their embittered and sorrowful souls... Princess Maria Mikhailovna stood at the head of St. Petersburg prison charity. Elena Andreevna was her assistant until her death. When Maria Mikhailovna died, Elena Andreevna replaced her in her post... How many criminal souls were saved by these two celestials for both temporary and eternal life, the Lord alone knows, and they, these celestials, have lost count of them!... (Maria Mikhailovna), living with her whole being only for others, forgot about herself so much that she dressed almost in rags and was often a victim of parasites, which she became infected with in places of her charity. Unfortunately, moving from a young age in a society where her own and overseas teachers, like Redstock, Pashkov and others, preached, she became infected with Irwinism, a sect of extreme Reformed persuasion that denies faith in the saints of God and even in the Most Holy Theotokos. This greatly upset the Orthodox-believing soul of Elena Andreevna, but no matter what she did to convert the princess to Orthodoxy, nothing was successful, because, mainly, because the princess herself, despite her purely sectarian judgments about the faith, considered herself completely Orthodox, went to church, fasted and took communion... One person close to her, having learned that she was approaching the Holy Mysteries, and knowing her misconceptions, asked her: – Have you, Marya Mikhailovna, confessed your error? “Yes, I don’t consider this a sin,” answered the princess. Of course, with such a way of thinking, it was difficult for Elena Andreevna to act on the princess with a word of persuasion, and her love had to turn to a different method of influence - to help from Above. She once came to Optina to visit her elder, Fr. Barsanuphius, and to us, and says that when leaving St. Petersburg, she left the princess dangerously ill with severe pneumonia, and the princess was then already in her eighties. “I say goodbye to her,” he says, “and I think that I will never find her alive again!” Elena Andreevna had previously spoken to Father Barsanuphius about her grief, that she could not breathe into the holy soul of the princess the understanding of her delusions and therefore feared for her fate in the afterlife. Father Barsanuphius promised to pray for her. On this visit, Elena Andreevna, talking about the current state in which she left the princess in St. Petersburg, strenuously asked the Elder to intensify his prayers for her. Before leaving Optina, Elena Andreevna comes back to St. Petersburg to say goodbye to Fr. Barsanuphius and accept his blessing on the way, and Father brings her out of his cell into the reception room and gives her the icon of the Mother of God and says: “Take this icon from me as a blessing to Princess Maria Mikhailovna and tell her that today, just before your arrival, I prayed in front of this icon for the granting of mental and physical health to her.” It was about ten o'clock in the morning. - Will I find her still alive? – Elena Andreevna objected. “God willing,” answered Fr. Barsanuphius, - for the prayers of the Queen of Heaven you will find yourself not only alive, but also healthy. Elena Andreevna returned to St. Petersburg and her first duty was to the princess. Calling. The door opens, and the princess is in it: she opened the door herself, cheerful, cheerful and as if she had not been ill. - Is that you? – Elena Andreevna exclaimed, not believing her eyes. - Who resurrected you? “You,” he says, “left, I was very bad, and then everything got worse, and suddenly on the third day at about ten o’clock in the morning, for no reason at all, I felt better, and today, as you can see, I’m completely healthy.” - At what time, you say, did this miracle happen? - At ten o'clock three days. This was the day and hour when Fr. Barsanuphius prayed before the icon of the Mother of God, sent to the princess as a blessing. With tears of ecstatic emotion, Elena Andreevna told the princess what had happened and gave her the icon of the Queen of Heaven. She silently accepted the icon, crossed herself, venerated it, and immediately hung it next to her bed. From that day on, Elena Andreevna no longer needed to convert the princess to Orthodoxy: with faith in the Most Pure One and the saints of God, the princess lived out her life and soon went to the Lord. She lived and died in the Orthodox way.” Nilus also spoke about the healing of Elena Andreevna herself. “Elena Andreevna,” he writes, “with a general poor state of health, had very poor vision: one eye could not see at all, and the best ophthalmologists in the capital told her that not only would vision never be restored to this eye, but that the other eye was in the same danger. And poor Elena Andreevna began to notice with horror that her good eye also began to see worse and worse... It was fierce February 1911. Elena Andreevna arrives in Optina, weak and barely alive. – What is the matter with you, dear friend? “I came to you in Optina to die,” our cheerful friend always and half-jokingly answers, and immediately told us that she had just suffered severe pleurisy (this is due to her diseased lungs!). - But this is all nonsense! But there’s something wrong with my eyes – that would be worse... I’m afraid of going blind. Well, it’s all God’s will! There are snow storms outside, frosts of fifteen degrees - Sretensky frosts, and she arrived in a light, either fleece or “fish fur” coat, not even a warm scarf; in his hands is an old, once astrakhan muff, on his head the same cap - everything has been knocked down by the wind... My wife and I reprimanded, and she smiled: - What does God care about? no one like God! She lived for three or four days in Optina, said her fast, took communion, and received unction. He leaves, says goodbye to us and says: - And our father, oh. Barsanuphius blessed me on the way to stop at the Tikhon Hermitage and there bathe in the spring of St. Tikhon of Kaluga. If we had not known the great boldness of Elena Andreevna’s strong faith, there would have been reason to be horrified, and besides, Optina managed to teach us a lot from her spirit, and therefore, without any protest, we crossed each other, kissed, said goodbye, asking St. Tikhon to remember us. Soon after Elena Andreevna’s departure, we receive a letter from her from St. Petersburg: “Wonderful is our God and great is our Orthodox faith! For the prayers of our father Father Barsanuphius, I bathed in the spring of St. Tikhon at 10 degrees Reaumur 40 in the bathhouse. When I put on my underwear, it stood stiff from the frost, like something tightly starched. I rode twelve miles from the source to the railway station in a cab wearing the same fur coat in which you saw me. My hair, wet from swimming, turned into icicles. I thawed out forcibly in the warm station and in the carriage, and - not even a runny nose! There was no trace of pleurisy left. But what is truly a great miracle of God’s mercy and the saint of St. Tikhon is that not only did my diseased eye recover, but also the other one, which had been lost for a long time, regained its sight, and now I see perfectly with both eyes.” This was our Elena Andreevna. Such was her miraculous faith.” Such, we add, was the spiritual vision of the great elder, who saw both this great faith of his spiritual daughter and that holy place where, by the will of God, she was destined to receive healing. About this case Fr. Barsanuphius did not tell anyone, but he spoke about Elena Andreevna herself more than once in conversations, for example, in the summer of 1911: “I am not calling you to the monastery - and there are many paths in the world that lead to God. For example, the most venerable Elena Andreevna Voronova devoted her entire life to serving unfortunate, outcast people; she travels to prisons, consoles prisoners, serves them, talks with them and tries to awaken in them the deadened feeling of love for God and their neighbors. This is a holy deed, undoubtedly, and by saving others, she herself is saved.” Life, apparently, proceeded calmly in the monastery. The “Chronicle of the Skete” reflects ordinary affairs: divine services, various constructions, visits of some people. Here is a selection from it: “1911, April 11. Today the Liturgy in the skete church was served by Fr. Optina rector with Fr. The monastery commander and hieromonk Fr. Nectarius under the hierodeacons: monastery Fr. Varsis and monastery Fr. Zosima. At the end of the Liturgy, Fr. Archimandrite Xenophon conciliar with Fr. The head of the monastery and the hieromonks, Fr. O. Nectarius, Adrian and Gabriel performed a prayer service to Saint Barsanuphius, the Kazan wonderworker, on the occasion of the memory of this saint of God and the name day of Fr. The head of the hermitage. 1911, June 6. The construction of the grain barn near the planter was completed. The barn is made of logs on brick pillars and covered with iron. The cost of work and materials, except for timber brought from the dacha, is about 130 rubles. 1911, July 23. Today Kaluga Governor Prince Gorchakov visited Optina Pustyn and Skit. He came from Kozelsk to Optina by car. After viewing the monastery, the prince, accompanied by Fr. He walked around the Skete and visited the cell of Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius. On the same day, the governor left for Kozelsk. 1911, August 29. The feast of the Beheading of the venerable head of the Forerunner of the Lord John was solemnly celebrated in the Skete. In the evening, a vigil was held in the church named after him, during which Fr. The head of the monastery of the cathedral. On this date, he convened with the hieromonks o.o. Nectarius and Kuksha under hierodeacons o.o. The Divine Liturgy was served to Arsenia and Zosima and a prayer service was held for the Baptist of the Lord. Some of the monastic brethren and outside pilgrims were present at both the vigil and the Liturgy. 1911, September 4. Today the Orthodox All-Russian Church celebrates the canonization of the great wonderworker St. Joasaph, Bishop of Belograd, who rests incorruptibly in the crypt of the cathedral church of the monastery in the city of Belgorod, Kursk province... The multiplication of miraculous signs over the past decades and the newly aroused intercession prompted the church authorities to bring down the monarchy the statement that took place as a result of the decision to canonize Saint Joasaph. According to the Highest approval of this, the celebration of the glorification of the saint by the Church was scheduled for the 4th of September. As a result of this, the day before, after the Sunday vigil, in the Skete, in front of the icon of the saint, deliberately painted in the picturesque Diveyevo Diocese of the Nizhny Novgorod Convent, Fr. The monastery is consecrated by the conciliar, and on this date, after the conciliarly celebrated Liturgy, he and the hieromonks o.o. Nektarios and Heraclius performed a prayer service, which ended with the reading of a prayer composed in touching terms to the new miracle worker. 1911, September 17. The new skete church with the adjacent premises was inspected by a provincial architect who arrived from Kaluga.” On May 9, 1911, Elder Joseph died. This happened around midnight. Father Barsanuphius performed the first requiem service, then they walked continuously - all the skete and monastery hieromonks served. One of the great elders, the successor of the Monk Ambrose, passed away. 12th o. Barsanuphius concelebrated with Archimandrite Xenophon along with other holy monks during the funeral Liturgy and burial rite. An entire era of monastery passed away from Fr. Joseph... At the end of 1911, some problems were discovered in the monastery. Those monks who complained to the authorities about Archimandrite Xenophon behaved unhumblely, setting a bad example for the brethren. Father Xenophon called to his aid the head of the hermitage, Fr. Barsanuphius, knowing his firmness in decisive moments, was not mistaken. Together they managed to restore order in the monastery and remove troublemakers from it. But the matter did not end there. A whole stream of complaints went to all authorities, even to the Synod. The echo of this turmoil also reached the worldly people, who were unkindly disposed towards the monks and towards Optina. Through their efforts, various slander was layered on top of one another, and the proverb came into use that, they say, “there is no smoke without fire.” There were rumors about Fr. Barsanuphius, more in the sense that he deals too much with the female sex and lives in “luxury”... A certain rich person Maria Mikhailovna Bulgak, a noblewoman, began to come to Optina from the beginning of 1911 to confess to Fr. Barsanuphia. According to her, she was going to leave the world and enter the Shamordino monastery. Father Barsanuphius, having already understood its inner essence, remarked: “Oh, and Bulgak will bullshit there!” Then she promised the Elder that she would bequeath capital of one hundred thousand rubles to the Skete, and after that she began to interfere in the skete’s affairs. Father Barsanuphius put her in her place, but the lady was alien to any humility. While in St. Petersburg, she visited the high-society salon of Countess Ignatieva, where members of the Synod visited, and there she told all sorts of tales about the Optina Skete and about Elder Barsanuphius. The Countess, who did not generally favor the Optina elders, willingly believed everything, but decided to see for herself. She came with one of her friends to Optina and told the rector that she wanted to pay a visit to Fr. Barsanuphius, but not as an elder, but as a hermitage leader. Father Barsanuphius called an old woman who almost always lived in the Optina hotel, the wife of the Warsaw Governor-General Maksimovich, and asked her to keep the visitors busy, while he sat silently... “I visited last year,” said Fr. Barsanuphius in 1912, on Palm Sunday, two ladies from an intelligent circle and “spread my name like evil” (Luke 6:22). For what, you ask? They found that my prayer room was too luxurious for Optina, and most importantly, they did not like the large picture of an Angel comforting a sorrowful soul. Strange people. The word “luxury” seems to be completely inapplicable to my prayer room; it is small, with a low wooden ceiling, but decently decorated. Its main decoration is images, and then portraits of the deceased Optina elders. So the painting of the Angel, although it has some shortcomings in its execution, still makes an impression, especially in the evening, by the light of the lamp - then he clearly stands out alive from the canvas. I tried to make my prayer room somewhat reminiscent of heaven, where our soul should strive.” Returning to St. Petersburg, Countess Ignatieva reported to the synodal authorities that the cell of Elder Barsanuphius was “luxurious” (flowers and cardboards) and that a lady was receiving his guests and pouring tea... The Elder was told the words of the Countess: “The Elder is dressed quite decently, I imagined him to be different.” “It turns out - said Fr. Barsanuphius,” she wanted to see the old man in sackcloth, with disheveled hair, and was disappointed. But all our elders dressed neatly and did not walk around in tattered robes... It is not clothes that save, but the purity of the soul.” In general, it is now difficult to restore the true picture of the displeasures and claims that accumulated then somewhere there, in St. Petersburg, a lot came together here: expelled monks complained, ladies slandered, people who visited Elder Barsanuphius, but were dissatisfied with the reception, added fuel to the fire; He was strongly reproached for allegedly sheltering the “Black Hundred” Nilus, a man of suspicious morality, in Optina... The main thing here, of course, is that Satan wove this tangle out of malice against the great old man, and he assembled a whole campaign against him, trying to ensure that he was expelled from Optina, from Skete... And real matters are not so important here, especially small ones, like denunciations, there is no need to look for them and announce them... The important thing is that there were many people whom Satan was blinded by malice and moved to do dirty deeds. The Lord allowed this matter to come to a difficult conclusion for the Elder; he found himself, as it were, thrown into a purifying cave... We cannot judge this - why, how; One thing is clear - that everything that comes from the Lord is good for us. Here are the calm (as usual) notes from the “Chronicle of Skete” about the events in those days that were decisive in the future fate of the Elder. “1911, December 30. At 9 o’clock in the morning, at the ringing of the monastery bell, the hermits went to the monastery to meet His Eminence Seraphim, Bishop of Chisinau, who had arrived to inspect Optina Pustyn on behalf of the Holy Synod. 1911, December 31. Today the sketes went to the monastery for a vigil, which was served by the Right Reverend Seraphim. 1912, January 1. Sunday and New Year of the Goodness of the Lord. For the late Liturgy, the sketes went to the monastery. The Liturgy and after it a prayer service were served by His Eminence Seraphim. Before the prayer service, Vladyka said a congratulatory word in which, along with the wish for everyone to acquire righteousness, he advised to more earnestly pray to the Queen of Heaven to cover Russia with Her Protection and preserve it in the coming troubled year from all enemies, internal and external. 1912, January 2. At 9 a.m. Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius served a prayer service to St. Seraphim of Sarov and St. Theodosius of Chernigov. At the beginning of the 4th hour, the Skete was visited by His Eminence Seraphim, Bishop of Chisinau; after the usual meeting in the Church of the Baptist, in a short word to the brethren, he advised them to patiently remain in the Skete and, supporting each other with brotherly love and unity, not to leave it for any seemingly valid reason. While teaching the archpastoral blessing, he kissed everyone on the mouth. Having then examined the new church, Vladyka proceeded to the monastery’s cell for a private conversation with Fr. Abbot and at the beginning of the 5th hour he left for the monastery. 1912, January 5. Epiphany Christmas Eve. For the Liturgy, which began at 1 o'clock, the hermits went to the monastery; upon returning from there, they sprinkled holy water on the cells and other buildings of the Skete. Yesterday, His Eminence Seraphim left the monastery.” Bishop 41 Seraphim (Chichagov) was very famous and respected. While still a priest, he worked on the major “Chronicle of the Seraphim-Diveyevo Monastery,” which greatly contributed to the glorification of St. Seraphim; its first edition was published in 1896. Then he composed the biography of St. Seraphim. Later, already an archimandrite, he achieved a meeting with Sovereign Nikolai Alexandrovich, to whom he presented his Chronicle. Further, he very actively participated in the glorification of St. Seraphim; in fact, he and Metropolitan Anthony (Vadkovsky) of St. Petersburg were the initiators of the glorification. The Emperor supported them, thereby neutralizing everyone who opposed glorification. On July 17–19, 1903, celebrations took place in the Sarov Desert, which were attended by the Royal Family and almost all members of the House of Romanov. Then Bishop Seraphim wrote an akathist to the monk and began work on the second volume of the Chronicle 42. In the Moscow Church of the Prophet Elijah in Obydensky Lane there are icons painted by Metropolitan Seraphim - these are images of the Savior and St. Seraphim. Bishop Seraphim was sent to Optina Pustyn by the Holy Synod to investigate various complaints. Father Barsanuphius said: “When Bishop Seraphim decided to transfer me from Optina, he said that Fr. Barsanuphius should be given a wider range of activities, otherwise he will completely sour in the Skete.” (“And I just wanted to sour in the Skete,” adds Fr. Barsanuphius. “As long as the bread is unleavened and not sour, it is tasteless. Remember the Gospel parable that the Kingdom of Heaven is like kvass, which the wife took and hid in three flours, until it was completely leavened. The leaven in the Skete, thank God, was put in place, but I also wanted to leaven, how our great elders fermented: Leo, Macarius, Ambrose, Anatoly and, partly, Hilarion - that is, they conquered all passions, but they did not succeed.”) So, the Synod decided to transfer Elder Barsanuphius to the position of rector of the Staro-Golutvin Epiphany Monastery near the city of Kolomna with his elevation to the rank of archimandrite. Here is what the Elder himself said about this: “It started with the fact that there were denunciations against Fr. Archimandrite (Xenophon) about cutting down forests, Skete was on the sidelines, since the matter concerned the monastery. The denunciations were false, the forests were intact. The monastery stood up for the Archimandrite and defended him. Then the enemy attacked the sinful abbot Barsanuphius and, as you can see, expelled him from Optina Pustyn. A bishop arrived from some foreign diocese, began to inspect the monastery, and then visited the Skete. They told him that we have had eldership for a long time and here is the last elder, Abbot Barsanuphius. Then he decided, ostensibly to establish eldership in other places, to transfer me to an abandoned monastery in Kolomna... I obey the will of the Holy Synod as the will of God, but I asked for the grace to leave me here as a simple monk, but it was refused. That’s right, it’s the Lord’s will, and I’m at peace.” And further: “My current situation resembles the following: I was walking along a straight road, and it seemed to me that I would reach my goal. Suddenly there is a log on the way - turn off, they say. But I don’t want to turn off, it’s good for me to go, I’m used to walking this road, although I sometimes deviate to the right and then to the left, but still I go. No, they say, turn it off. Lord my God, but I don’t want to at all... And suddenly I hear another voice telling me: “Curl up” - this is the voice of God. God's will be done! Yes, I didn’t want to leave here, but now I receive a letter from one of the members of the Synod, Bishop Sergius of Finland, in which he writes: “I heard that you want to refuse the appointment and go into seclusion - do not do this, but accept the decision of the Synod as the will of God.” I myself did not bother, but some of my spiritual children bothered for me, and their petition could have been valid, but in this case it remained unsuccessful. Elena Andreevna Voronova went to see Metropolitan Anthony, but he could not cancel the resolution of the Synod, and although he knew me in the world and treated me well, he also advised me to go to Golutvin... Moscow Bishop Griffon, whom all of Moscow respects, writes to me: “Do not refuse the appointment, this monastery is under my authority, I will do everything to make you feel good here.” You see, there are already three votes from respected persons. I accept their words as coming from the Lord Himself.” Although the elder suffered, he saw the spiritual essence of what was happening. His student, Fr. Nikolai, later Elder Nikon, said: “It was a long time ago. I don’t remember why the now deceased Fr. The archpriest once asked me during Great Lent to serve the late Liturgy for him in the cathedral 43. I happily agreed. It was the fifth Sunday of Holy Lent. At one time, I began serving the Liturgy and served calmly. The time has come to read the Holy Gospel. Having handed the Holy Gospel to the hierodeacon for reading, I, as usual, standing at the high place behind the throne, prepared to listen to the Divine verbs of the eternal life. And so the deacon read: “Behold, we are ascending to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed by the bishop and the scribe, and they will condemn Him to death, and betray Him with the tongue; and they will mock Him, and hurt Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him; and on the third day he will rise again” (Mark 10:33–34). My sinful heart trembled within me. I vividly remembered what happened many years ago. I remembered Skete, our quiet Skete, who raised us spiritually. I remembered our deceased Elder, dear Elder, father and mentor, who gave us grace, tried to sow the good seeds of spiritual life and monasticism in our hearts, delved into the meaning of the Holy Scriptures and understood its spiritual, mysterious meaning. I remembered how one day on the fifth Sunday of Great Lent, after the Liturgy, having come to his cell, he asked me if I had paid attention to what the Gospel was being read during the Liturgy, and, pointing to the words: Behold, we ascend to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed... and they will mock Him, and hurt Him, and spit on Him... - he said: “These are the degrees of ascent to the Heavenly Jerusalem: they must be passed through. What level are we at? I don’t remember exactly what else was said, as far as the spiritual meaning and meaning of these words of the Gospel were concerned in general, but I remember that the conversation seemed to end with this question. This question was asked mysteriously, thoughtfully. Listening to the words of the Elder, putting them together in my heart, I remained silent. And so, I don’t remember now, after how many days, and maybe even hours, the abbot announced to the Elder about his transfer from the Skete to the Moscow diocese. This caused great sorrow to the Elder. After all, grief should be considered not what a person experiences outwardly, but how much God allows him to be depressed by this experience, which causes grief and suffering to him and his heart. The elder truly suffered then. Sharing his sorrow with me, he once told me that due to his great internal struggle and sorrow he was afraid of going crazy. It was quite clear to both him and us that such an order from the higher authorities was a punishment for the Elder, that it was arranged by his ill-wishers, that there was slander, and man-pleasing, and lies, and much more about which it is impossible to write briefly. Indeed: they mocked the Elder, and wounded him, and spat on him (absurd slander and gossip around his name even accused him of heresy and Khlystyism), and they killed him, for from all the sorrows and experiences both in the last days of his stay in the Skete and at the place of his new service, his senile health, already weak, was undermined, and he died exactly a year later. The service assigned to him, while performing all the duties associated with him and while experiencing everything that the conditions and circumstances of life in a new place caused him, was a cross for him, and a heavy cross. Believing that the cross was sent only by God, the Elder endured everything while on the cross, surrendering to the will of God and without resorting to human means. They passed through the degrees of ascent to Jerusalem.” The Chronicle of Skete notes the services of Elder Barsanuphius at the beginning of 1912: “1912, January 17. Today, on the day of remembrance of Abbot Anthony, there was a mass in the Skete. The memorial service was served by Fr. Abbot of the cathedral. The vigil the day before was held in the monastery. 1912, January 19. Venerable Macarius of Egypt and the memory of the elder Fr. Macaria. Before the mass there was a memorial service for the elder Hieroschemamonk Macarius, and after the mass there was a cathedral prayer service. The Liturgy was served by Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius of the cathedral. 1912, January 25. Memory of the elder Fr. Anatolia. The liturgy and memorial service were served by Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius of the cathedral. The day before there was a vigil. 1912, January 26. At 8 o'clock in the morning Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius held a prayer service on the occasion of Fr. Abbot Archimandrite Xenophon. After the prayer service, the brethren were offered tea at the meal. 1912, February 17. After the presanctified Liturgy, Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius celebrated a memorial service for His Holiness Patriarch Hermogenes at the cathedral, on the occasion of the 300th anniversary of his death. 1912, February 20. St. Leo of Catania. At 8 o'clock in the morning, the head of the monastery of the cathedral celebrated a memorial service for the elder Hieroschemamonk Leo, and after the Presanctified Liturgy, a cathedral prayer service was served to Saint Leo of Catania. There was a vigil the day before.” Easter - the Feast of Holidays - was approaching. Father Barsanuphius, already expelled from the Skete, telegraphed to his new boss, Metropolitan Macarius of Moscow: “I ask Your Eminence for the mercy to allow me to spend Passion and the first 3-4 days of Easter in Optina to celebrate the Great Holiday in my own family of monks and some laymen, my spiritual children.” The Lord allowed this. “So,” says Fr. Barsanuphius at a conversation with spiritual children - glory to You, Lord! We will celebrate the holiday together, and on the 3rd or 4th day I will leave. Some in Optina will rejoice at my departure, those who dislike me. But it’s not for us to judge them. The Lord will judge everyone. To Him, the All-Good, we will resort in all sorrows and misfortunes. Let us place all our trust in Him, let us hold on to the Lord and not fall away from Him. “1912, March 12. Monday of the 6th week of Lent. According to annual custom, the skiers today were busy cleaning and cleaning the church for the Easter holiday. The monastery had a council of the elder brethren to elect a treasurer. Hieromonk Fr. was chosen by majority vote. Gabriel. Hieromonk Fr. Nectary, since the abbot Fr. Barsanuphius, with his promotion to the rank of archimandrite, was transferred to the Moscow diocese as rector of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery, and his repeated requests to be left alone in the Skete were not respected. The council took place in the Church of St. Mary of Egypt, after the council there was a prayer service and a memorial service for the elders.” In 1912 there was Kiriopaskha - two holidays converged: Easter and Annunciation. The liquid had already overflowed widely, but the weather was cloudy, on Easter day there was even a snowstorm that covered everything with snow... It was March 25th. “So,” said Fr. Barsanuphius, I will celebrate the Easter holiday with you, and then I will go to the place of my new assignment. What will happen there - I don’t know what the Lord will send. I haven’t been to Kolomna, they say it’s a factory town, I don’t like it, I would rather go to a secluded monastery, at least to the hermitage near Belev 44... But - how the Lord bless. It will be necessary to arrange a ruined nest there. Well, somehow I’ll arrange a bench for you, I’ll paint it, and then I’ll notify you: “The bench is ready, it’s painted, and the paint is dry, you won’t get it dirty. Come." Maybe I won’t be as overwhelmed with things there as I am here. There are a few of us, but let's not be embarrassed. Christ said: “Do not be afraid, little flock!” (Luke 12:32). “Don’t you notice any changes in my prayer room?” - he said another time, namely on the fourth day of Easter. “I take few things with me: the images all remain, and from the paintings I will only take the portrait of the great elder and spiritual benefactor of my father Anatoly and Father Fr. Ambrose. The rest will remain as it was... I don’t know who will be the abbot and elder here, I believe that the Lord will send, perhaps, someone more worthy than me, a sinner. I do not forbid you - come to Optina, and if you want to see how the sinful Barsanuphius lives, then look into Golutvin. I don’t bless you to accompany me to the monastery, it’s inconvenient, so as not to give rise to all sorts of stories, but when I get settled, God will bless you, if you wish. The last day of Fr. Barsanuphius in his native Skete was April 2, 1912. This is how this day is described in the skete Chronicle: “April 2. Monday of St. Thomas Week. At 8 o'clock in the morning in the Church of the Holy Forerunner and Baptist of the Lord John, Abbot Barsanuphius served a farewell prayer service, with kneeling. After the prayer service, the Elder said a short farewell word, concluding it with a bow to the ground and asking for forgiveness. Father Nektarios, on behalf of all the hermits, presented the Elder with an icon of St. Forerunners of John the Baptist. From the church everyone went to a meal, where tea was offered, and then to the Elder’s cell; here about. The abbot blessed everyone with an icon and gave small things as souvenirs, such as Easter eggs, rosaries, his cards, paintings, bookmarks, handkerchiefs, towels, etc. At 10 o'clock o. The abbot went to the monastery for a prayer service and to say goodbye to the monastery brethren. At 5 o'clock the skits gathered in the Elder's cell, where after prayer Fr. The abbot gave a general blessing and, to console the grieving brethren, said the following: Fr. Abbot Mark, who recently died in the monastery, told me that when Father Fr. Macarius then predicted that after him Fr. Ambrose, Fr. Hilarion and Fr. Anatoly and that the eldership in the Skete will not become scarce. Among the subsequent elders there will be people even higher in spiritual gifts than the great elders: o.o. Leo, Macarius, Ambrose and Anatoly... At the 6th hour, the Elder, accompanied by the hermits and laymen who had gathered at the Holy Gate, went to the monastery, where, after saying goodbye to Fr. The archimandrite left for the station. Accompanied by Fr. Hegumen: his cell attendant, novice Grigory Ermakov, and novices John Belyaev and Mikhail Yezhov.” Father Barsanuphius was apparently ill for everyone in March 1912, so many of the Optina residents hoped that they would still leave him here, and such hope glimmered until Easter. But then the day of his departure came, he decided to obey his superiors. The wanderers said goodbye to him. In the monastery, in the Kazan Cathedral, all the monks gathered to say goodbye to him, and with them the pilgrims who were in the monastery at that time. There was also Nilus, who in a month would also leave Optina in fulfillment of the authorities’ decision to prohibit lay people from settling near the monastery. Archimandrite Xenophon, exhausted and tired - from the operations he had undergone, from all the temptations of recent times - after the late Liturgy, said Fr. Barsanuphius, on behalf of the entire brotherhood of the monastery, farewell speech. - Christ is Risen!... Did you think, dear Father Abbot, that you, having almost completed your life’s journey, would have to part with Optina, and precisely when you were most attached to it, and, perhaps, you could not imagine life outside Optina? Did I ever think of parting with you and leading the monastery without your help and assistance? But then, like a thunderbolt overhead, the unexpected news of your appointment to another monastery broke out... How fragile everything is, I thought, and I remembered the words of Scripture on this occasion: “I am a stranger among you, O Lord, and a stranger, like all my fathers” (Ps. 39:13). Yes, truly, we should never have forgotten this, and, not seeing anything stable here on earth, where everything is just vanity, we should have been prepared for all trials and vicissitudes... Since 1907, you have shared with me the burden of leadership, which is especially responsible under the current conditions, and during this time you have greatly facilitated my work in managing the monastery. Before my eyes, the Skete entrusted to you was landscaped by you, both internally and externally, and is now left by you in a flourishing state: churches, sacristy, refectory, library, cells, contents and sources of content - everything speaks in favor of your management... Further, Father Archimandrite recalled the time when Fr. Barsanuphius was a novice: “Everyone still remembers your strictly solitary life in the Skete and your diligent study of the patristic and ascetic works for twelve years. No one, of course, has forgotten how you were sent to the Far East during the last war, how difficult it was for you to leave us, and how with honor, worthy of the name Optina, you bore the obedience entrusted to you. Then, when you were called up for a higher appointment, your sincere love for Optina was especially revealed... And then, finally, your eldership and clergy. It would seem, for all reasons, that here, in Optina, where you have worked so hard, you would calm down. But the Lord, “from Him a man’s feet are straightened” 45, has destined for you a different field of life and activity... The brethren listened to this speech in silence. – May the Lord reward you for your zealous and fruitful service to the Holy Church in this difficult time, if not in this life, then in the future life. Amen,” concluded Fr. Archimandrite. “I console and encourage myself,” answered Fr. Barsanuphius, - with the thought that “The Lord not only accepts deeds, but also kisses intentions” (from the teachings of St. I. Chrysostom), - my intentions were the kindest: I would like very, very much to serve for you, fathers and brothers, and for the whole monastery, and, if I did not have time for anything, then I ask you to cover my weakness with leniency... It is sad and difficult for me to part with you, but, apparently, this is what God pleases; it is from Him that a person’s feet are straightened. I try not to forget that “we are not imams of the city that is here, but we are seeking the one to come” 46. My strength is already weak and my infirmities are many, but I am strengthened by faith and in the grace of God, which “replenishes what is scarce.” The hope is inseparable from me that this time the Lord will not leave me with His mercy, just as when I parted with you, leaving for the Far East... I earnestly ask for your prayers, venerable Father Archimandrite, and yours, dear fathers and brothers - all, without exception... May the grace and peace and love of God be with you all. At the end of the prayer service, the sacristan and confessor of the pilgrims, who was also the confessor of the Elder himself, Hieromonk Theodosius, said a farewell word on behalf of the entire brotherhood. – Your Reverence, all-honorable Father Abbot, our venerable elder and spiritual father! Christ is Risen! – he began his speech. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34)... Bless us this time, as you blessed us for every good deed: give a blessing to this word, the word from a sincere heart, the farewell word of your spiritual children and verbal sheep. With Easter bright and joyful songs, we accompany you to the place of your new ministry. God wants the lamp that shone among us to shine even brighter, and so He takes you out of the humble desert and places you on a higher candlestick, in a more visible and open place, in view of the very capital of the capital... You are leaving us at the time of your spiritual blossoming in a particularly difficult time for us, leaving you when we need you most... A bitter farewell, a regrettable parting, a sad unknown separation!... When I saw your cheerful and cheerful face, with a cheerful smile, I somehow didn’t want to think that parting was approaching. I remember that we listened to your words just as complacently: “It’s good when visiting, but at home it’s better - so I, although I’m leaving, imagine that I’m going to visit, but I still consider and will consider Optina home...” It was a touching and edifying sight when on certain days you came out to us, your spiritual children, to teach edification and blessing... It was gratifying and joyful to see the old man, white with gray hair, with evangelical simplicity, childish meekness and trustfulness of one who talks with his God-given children... The general blessing was even more touching... With your departure, one of the main stones is, as it were, removed from the spiritual foundation of the monastery. Successor of the ever-memorable Optina elders, you were a faithful interpreter of their covenants. Until now, all your great predecessors carried out their high feat of eldership within the walls of this monastery to the end and rested in its depths. The Lord has judged a different lot for you!... A separate confession, which very many have been awarded, will be forever imprinted on the mind and heart - a special, lengthy confession, in which you explored all the twists and secrets of the human soul, a confession - without exaggeration - that reborn the repentant... What will we give you as a farewell reward for all your labors? How do we appreciate them and what word of gratitude will be equivalent to them? And we have not yet mentioned here about your leadership activity in your beloved Skete, about its improvement and your nourishment of both the common people and the educated, about the disposition of the intelligentsia towards the Church, about attracting pilgrims to the Hermitage and about the extensive correspondence, following the example of the ever-memorable elders! sheep of the flock" (Matt. 26:31; cf. Zech. 13:7)? When the many years were sung about Fr. Barsanuphius, Fr. The archimandrite presented him with the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God from the entire brotherhood. Then all the monks approached the Elder for blessing, falling to their knees. Many were crying. The elder endowed those who were suitable with icons... Everyone felt that Optina was suffering a great loss in the person of Elder Barsanuphius. And so he moved towards the exit... Dressed warmly, with a bag in hand, Father, accompanied by several novices and laymen, as well as Fathers Theodosius and Nektariy, approached the crossing over the overflowing Zhizdra. A strong wind rose, wet snow began to fall, and it became cold... Father Vasily Shustin, who was then among the laity accompanying the Elder, recalled: “We crossed the river with great danger. His confessor and Fr. went to accompany Father to the station. Nectary. I was traveling with Father’s confessor, Fr. Theodosius. He was amazed by the humility of Father Barsanuphius and was touched all the way. We drove to the station for three and a half hours instead of the usual hour. Dear Father is completely numb. Thank God that the train was late and Father could warm up with tea. Tickets, by order of Father, were taken third class. But during the transfer, I agreed with the chief conductor and did not allow Father to enter the third class, and together with two cell attendants we were placed in a 2nd class compartment. Dear Father hardly slept, but at the same time he said almost nothing.” On the morning of April 3, the train of the Moscow-Kiev-Voronezh Railway, on which Fr. Barsanuphius came to Moscow - it was the beginning of nine o’clock in the morning. Taking a cab, the Elder went to the Epiphany Monastery, located near Red Square, where Bishop Tryphon greeted him with great cordiality. On the same day, Father, having prayed in the monastery cathedral church, went to the Iveron Chapel, where he venerated the miraculous image of the Mother of God. From here - to Nikolskaya, to the Athos Chapel of St. Panteleimon. And again a noisy city - the roar of tram cars, cabs, crowds of people everywhere, occasionally cars... But it is a joy to the soul - the golden Kremlin domes are burning in the sun: Ivan the Great, the Assumption Cathedral... St. Basil's Cathedral... Kazan... The air trembles from the ringing of bells... April 4, Fr. Barsanuphius celebrated Matins, early mass and requiem for Elder Joseph at the Epiphany Monastery - it was his day of the Angel. Then he was in the Kremlin cathedrals to venerate the relics of the Moscow wonderworkers and other shrines. He did not walk alone - he was surrounded by a fairly large crowd of his admirers and spiritual children, who helped him everywhere, protected him from all sorts of accidents, simply rejoiced at being with him... Many of the strangers took the Elder’s blessing. On April 5, at the Liturgy in the Epiphany Monastery, which Elder Barsanuphius celebrated at the cathedral, Bishop Tryphon elevated him to the rank of archimandrite. He himself did not serve, but, having put on his clothes, stood on the salt until the small entrance, behind which he laid the archimandrite’s cross and miter on the Elder. In response to the prayers of the erection, the choir thundered: “Axios!” Father Barsanuphius continued the service, at the end of which the Bishop blessed him to put on the mantle of an archimandrite and handed him the staff, saying a short word: “I am used to feeding those who come to this church only with verbal milk,” he said, “but you demand solid food, which I do not have, therefore I do not intend to say a word of edification to you, but I only want to express my feelings with which my soul is filled at this sacred moment... Then the Bishop blessed the new archimandrite with two icons of the Savior - one from himself, the other from Father’s spiritual children, who were present in large numbers at this celebration. Then to Fr. All those praying began to approach Barsanuphius for blessing, and he blessed each of them. On the same day Fr. Barsanuphius visited Metropolitan Vladimir, who gave him a blessing to become abbot of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery, and also appointed Archimandrite Valentin, dean of the monasteries of the Moscow diocese, to go with him. Father Barsanuphius first sent novices Ivan Belyaev and Mikhail Yezhov to Staro-Golutvin to prepare together with Fr. The steward of the monastery held a cell for the arriving new abbot - they were greeted rudely and had to make a lot of effort to fulfill their obedience. On the sixth with the nine o'clock morning train about. Barsanuphius went to Kolomna. In front of Kolomna, from the windows of the carriage, a monastery stood at the confluence of the Oka and the Moscow River. Looking at him, Father said: “From here I will appear before the Lord.” We got off at Golutvino station. Here the monastery carriages and Fr. were waiting for those who arrived. The housekeeper in a silk cassock and with a gold pectoral cross. We drove quickly a few miles to the monastery; As we approached it, the ringing of bells was heard more and more loudly: the monastery was welcoming its leader. Met by all the brethren at the gate, Fr. Barsanuphius put on a robe, venerated the cross and, taking his staff, went at the head of all the monastery hieromonks to the Epiphany Cathedral. Here he served a litiya, during which he venerated the holy altar, local icons and the ancient miraculous image of St. Sergius, the patron saint of this monastery, founded by his disciple St. Gregory. Staro-Golutvin, founded around 1385, was closed in 1799, since the bishop who stayed here was transferred to the Kolomna Bishop's House, but a few years later, Metropolitan Platon of Moscow (who, by the way, also restored Optina Pustyn) connected Staro-Golutvin with the nearby Bobrenev Monastery, uniting their lands. By the time Fr. arrived. Barsanuphius Bobrenev The Nativity Monastery was already separated from Staro-Golutvin (this happened in 1865). But in Staro-Golutvin, due to all these changes, no construction was going on, the churches and cells fell into disrepair, and there were disturbances in the spiritual life of the monastery - the monks became somewhat accustomed to anarchy. In addition to the cathedral Epiphany Church, the monastery had the churches of St. Sergius and the Presentation of the Mother of God (all stone). There was also a parochial school and an almshouse for elderly monks in the monastery. During the litia, Dean Fr. Valentin elevated Father to the position of abbot, and all the brethren in turn approached him for blessing. Then, accompanied by the brethren, Fr. Barsanuphius walked warmly into the abbot's chambers, where, after singing the troparion and kontakion to the Epiphany of the Lord and many years, he accepted the image of St. Sergius, presented to him from the monastery, and spoke a short word in which he said that his abbot's activity would be based on Christian love, and asked for common fraternal holy prayers, so that the Lord would strengthen his strength. After that, the housekeeper remained, and Fr. Barsanuphius began receiving the affairs and monastic money available. Having thus entered into the management of the monastery, the Elder proposed a supper of love to the senior hieromonks, Fathers Econom and Dean. And so he was left alone with his cell attendants and clerks, of whom there were two - Ivan Belyaev and Kirill Zlenko, who had completed his military service. The elder saw that he was taking under his leadership a neglected farm, a monastery that was disorganized both in everyday life and spiritually. Father Vasily Shustin, who arrived then with the Elder, recalled how he “found omissions and even ruin everywhere. The hotel was not arranged. “What should I do,” says Father, “where will I place the visiting pilgrims?” And so he ordered me and the cell attendants to go to the city and buy beds, material for mattresses and pillows and sew them. “I don’t have money,” says Father, “but there will be good people, go.” And here's a wonderful thing. To me, a man in a student uniform, they give me beds and material without any conversation, with complete readiness and without a penny of money. True, my cell attendant, Father, was with me, but no one knew him or me. Upon arrival at the monastery, I began to sew mattresses and stuff them with hair and worked all day. Since the hotel was not equipped, I stayed in Father’s apartment... At 12.30 at night he came and woke me up and forced me to read the Midnight Office and the monastic rules together with the cell attendant. This lasted for two hours. Then I went to bed again. But at 5.30 Father woke me up again so that I could get together with him for early mass. This went on for about a week. At first there was a lot of work, and I played the role of cell attendant, cleaned the rooms, ventilated them... Father made great reforms in the internal structure of the monastery. He established compulsory attendance at church services and set an example himself. Previously, not everyone went to the refectory, and the hieromonks did not even look in; they had their own kitchens at their cells. The housekeeper had a cook. Father forbade cooking anything at home, and everyone had to eat common food at a certain time. When Father came to the refectory at the bell, all the simple monks were surprised that he was so close to them. The food was impossible. The cabbage soup was made from rotten cabbage and fish with a smell. The housekeeper did not come to the refectory, but Father sent a novice for him and forced him to eat lunch from the products that he bought. The housekeeper turned away, and Father caught him. No wonder the housekeeper wore silk robes and goldfish could be seen in his room. “How is it possible,” said Father, “to give such food, such an infection...” Immediately the entire spirit of the monastery changed. The priest took care of the clothes and food of the monks, and they, seeing such a fatherly attitude of the abbot, did not shun him, but came with love and trust, opened their souls to him, and he began to heal them... After two months, the monastery became unrecognizable. Many workers of the Kolomna plant began to come to Father to seek consolation.” One simple woman came with her son, a young man of about seventeen. She was waiting for the Elder in the waiting room with others. So the Elder came out, prayed at the icons, and then began to go around everyone and bless them one by one. Then the woman rushed to him in tears: - Father! pray! I was exhausted with my son, I spent my entire fortune on him, but he remains deaf and dumb. Father looked at the young man and said: - He sinned one great sin. He needs to fast and repent, then the Lord is merciful... - How! – the mother was surprised. “He was always of exemplary behavior.” - Do you remember what you did? - Father turned to the young man. He shook his head in bewilderment, and his mother objected: - But he, Father, doesn’t hear! - Yes, he doesn’t hear you, but he hears me. Father whispered something in his ear, his eyes suddenly opened wide: he remembered... Then he fasted, confessed and took communion. After this, a miracle happened: his hearing and speech returned. This story was also told by Fr. Vasily Shustin. “When I came here,” Fr. later said. Barsanuphius, - I was greeted very unfriendly, but now, thank God, everything is settled and monastic life is somewhat adjusted. Some monks who did not want to submit to the new orders left, others resigned themselves, new monks arrived... Lord willing, everything will come to order.” And another time: “At first it was very difficult for me here; I found the monastery in complete decline, the brethren rebelled, but now, thank God, everything is getting better, and, of course, to the extent of my strength, I will carry out the holy task of establishing the Golutvin Monastery.” Father Barsanuphius attached great importance to the fact that he took over the management of the monastery founded by the Monk Sergius, abbot of Radonezh, on whose memory day, July 5, he was born and whom he always considered his heavenly patron. And the fact that the staff of the great saint was here, Fr. Barsanuphius perceived his superiorship as a symbolic blessing from St. Sergius. He also said to his spiritual children: “There are a lot of swallow nests above my window... There’s nothing you can do about them, they’re unclean, but it’s a shame to ruin a nest.” From morning to evening, swallows fly over the monastery... So you, like swallows, have made a nest for yourself near St. Sergius and are resting far from noisy cities... St. Sergius knows all of you - you are here under his protection... There is a legend that St. Sergius visits our monastery and even piously living monks have seen him. I personally have not seen him, most likely due to my unworthiness... but in my spirit I feel his presence. There were also new traditions in Staro-Golutvin, at the origins of which stood their own ascetics. Thus, Schemamonk Ioannikiy, a silent and secluded man, a mentor of laity and monks, who even performed miracles by the power of Christ, became the spiritual savior of the city of Kolomna and this entire region from cholera, and at the same time the planter of a morally pure life. He advised the Kolomna residents to establish a procession of the cross from Staro-Golutvin to the city annually on the Thursday preceding Pentecost, popularly called “semik,” when, according to ancient pagan customs, the people had fun and got drunk. The proposal of Schemamonk Ioannikiy was approved by Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, who drew up the rules for this move, which first took place in 1849 and has not stopped to this day. Semik was destroyed, and in Kolomna and its environs on that day people did not drink, they fasted, trading stopped, the taverns were locked... This is the influence on the people of one schema-monk, a solitary, silent man! Schemamonk Ioannikiy died on March 10, 1851, and his modest monument with a cross was erected over his grave near the altar of the Epiphany Cathedral. The builder Nazarius, who tonsured Ioannikis into the schema, also rested here, under Fr. Nazariya Metropolitan Philaret consecrated the church of St. Sergius in 1833. Father the Builder erected six towers in a fence in Staro-Golutvino, a two-story hotel and a chapel halfway to Kolomna. He loved strangers, and there were times, on holidays, when he could feed up to a thousand people. In 1853, his health began to deteriorate, his hearing and vision became poor. Metropolitan Philaret sent him a letter: “Reverend Father Abbot Nazarius rejoice in the Lord and be at peace. I hear repeatedly that your vision is becoming impoverished; but you continue to act more on your own. This may result in an oversight, for which your assistants will be exacted. I advise you to use them more, so that everything is inspected and that everything is done in a timely manner and in order. On your part, your prayer and edifying word will be more beneficial. Filaret, metro station Moskovsky.” This letter has been preserved in the archives of the monastery - it will be shown to Fr. Barsanuphius, when he falls into severe exhaustion from his ailments. Father lived in Golutvin for exactly a year. He taught the monks of the monastery to fulfill the rules and uncomplainingly carry out obedience. He only marked the beginning of their internal renewal. Very soon a rumor spread in Kolomna and throughout the entire region about the appearance of a great elder in the monastery. An unusually large number of people, unusual for Staro-Golutvin, poured into the monastery. Donations also poured in, which made it possible to carry out a major overhaul of the entire monastery - it was cleaned, painted, and repaired. When Fr. Barsanuphius appeared in the cathedral with an artistic work of metal gilded vestments of the throne, which cost 1,650 rubles. Unwell and increasingly losing strength, the Elder corresponded with his spiritual children, and from lunch until late evening he received people who flocked here from all over Russia. In the brochure dedicated to Fr. Barsanuphius and published shortly after his death - in Moscow in 1913 - says: “How often in the most desperate sinner, who had fallen to the last degree of sinfulness, the godly elder was able to find and open the polluted and tarnished image of God and show the person, who in the depths of his soul thought of himself as eternally lost, his own god-like soul with all its wondrous powers and properties granted Creator. As if amazed, the unfortunate man looked at the meekly smiling Elder, and suddenly tears began to pour out of his eyes. He wept that he had wandered for so long through the paths of sin, that he had offended and angered God’s long-suffering for so long, that he had so madly deprived himself of Divine life and was slowly poisoning his entire being with the poison of sin. And Father, placing his hand on his head, quietly whispered words of instruction, from which the penitent was all inflamed with the desire for true life in God and the determination to fight sin until his last breath. Truly, for believers, Father’s mouth was the mouth of God. And how many of the Elder’s spiritual children were saved by him from the very jaws of hell! When Bishop Tryphon briefly mentioned this in his funeral homily to Father, what a cry of sorrow burst out from the hearts of hundreds of those present who could not restrain themselves from sobbing in their great grief.” Father was so frank with his spiritual children that he was completely visible in his conversations - both as an elder and as a simple monk, a man with his own concerns. Here, for example, is what he said to those gathered in his abbot’s chambers, to those whom he knew well from conversations in the prayer house of the monastery in the Skete of Optina Pustyn: “I’m not yet used to Golutvin, however, I need to get used to everything. So the service is not the same as in Optina. In the Skete, for example, during the service I felt at home, but in the monastery I felt some constraint - the singing was not the same, the order was different, but here everything was completely new... These large rooms remind me of a more worldly environment than a monastic one. When I was in the world, I had large, beautifully furnished ones. I didn’t like luxury, but I loved comfort. The rooms in Optina were tiny, but it was nice both outside and inside. I can’t say this about the current state. These paintings that you see were already hanging here when I arrived, and this furniture was standing. Some of the icons are here - for example, the image of the Crucifixion, very old, painted by a good artist. Below is the Position of Christ in the Tomb, also a local icon... And I brought the icons of the Savior and St. Joasaph with me - the latter was written by one ascetic and sent with Elena Andreevna, and the first was given to me by the Seleznevs - an engineer and his wife... For now, it is inconvenient for me to receive visitors, there is no separate room, the monks have to pass through the same room, but maybe the treasurer will leave soon, then in the room that he occupies, I I'll set up a reception. This treasurer is a terrible person, he doesn’t want to recognize anyone, he’s a complete tyrant. I have already removed him from business, so he wants to be transferred to another monastery... However, besides him, the monks here are good, I am not worthy of such monks, save them, Lord. I find that they are no different from the Optina ones - one spirit, one desire for God, and therefore I called the Staro-Golutvin Monastery a branch of Optina. There are 10 people serving with me: 5 hieromonks, 4 hierodeacons, then 6 people wearing robes, 10 robes, the rest of the novices - the whole brethren is fifty people... Yes! I didn't think I'd get here... I planned to live in Optina with the children for another two or three years, and then go to a silent cell - not to consider the sins of others, but to mourn my own, in order to prepare for the transition to eternity. And suddenly... I don’t know how I’ll manage to get a job here. Of course, nothing happens without the will of God. The abbot of the local monastery is St. Sergius, maybe he called me here... The man knows nothing about himself. Saint John Chrysostom was the archbishop of Constantinople, and suddenly they took him and transferred him to Comana. Everything is God's will. The Lord is everywhere. Thank God for everything!” Here are a number of selected excerpts from conversations with Fr. Barsanuphius in the Staro-Golutvin Epiphany Monastery. 1. It cannot be said about us, monks of recent times, that we waged a particularly active fight against the enemy - what kind of monks we are! – but still we fight as best we can. But in the world this struggle has long been forgotten, Satan dictates the laws to the world, and he blindly follows him. Don’t think that by saying this, I’m calling you to a monastery, no! I only want to say that while living in the world, one must not forget God, not lose communication with him, and as long as this connection is not broken, communication with God is not broken, the human soul lives, even if it falls into sins. When this connection is broken, the soul dies. It would seem what a contradiction: the soul is immortal, and I am talking about its death... The soul can die for God, because when Communion with God is broken, then the soul ceases to exist for God, but God is able to resurrect and save such a dead soul. 2. I hear complaints that we are now going through difficult times, that complete freedom has now been given to all heretical and godless teachings, that the Church is being attacked by enemies on all sides, and it is becoming scary for her, that these muddy waves of unbelief and heresies will overcome her. I always answer: “Don't worry! Don't be afraid for the Church! She will not perish, “the gates of hell will not prevail against her” (Matthew 16:18) until the Last Judgment.” Don’t be afraid for her, but you need to be afraid for yourself, and it’s true that our time is very difficult. Why? Yes, because now it is especially easy to fall away from Christ, and then - destruction. Those who followed Christ, His venerables, will reign with Him. 3. We need to go to Favor! But we must remember that one way to Tabor is through Golgotha, there is no other road. As we strive to live with God, we must prepare for many sorrows. 4. Every soul has, to a greater or lesser extent, a desire for solitude, to remain within itself. Only base souls are satisfied with the glitter and crackle of a vain life and place all their pleasure in incessant conversations, in laughter and in all kinds of entertainment. The Lord Jesus Christ was true God, but also Man, and therefore, paying tribute to human nature, He at times withdrew from the surrounding noise. 5. In order to become like God, we must fulfill His holy commandments, and if we look at it, it turns out that we have not truly fulfilled a single one. Let's go through them all, and it turns out that we barely touched on that commandment, another, perhaps, we also just began to fulfill a little, and, for example, we did not even begin to the commandment about love for enemies. What remains for us sinners to do? How to escape? Only through humility. “Lord, I am a sinner in everything, I have nothing good, I only hope in Your boundless mercy.” We are absolute bankrupts before the Lord, but He will not reject us for humility. And indeed, it is better, having sins, to consider oneself great sinners, than, having some good deeds, to be proud of them, considering oneself righteous. The Gospel depicts two such examples in the person of the Pharisee and the tax collector. 6. Thank God, I completely left the world and became a monk. Perhaps, of course, I only outwardly withdrew from the world. Blessed are those who have departed from it internally. By peace we do not mean people here, but service to the passions, wherever it occurs. You can be worldly nuns and live in a monastery as if you were in the world. Black clothes alone will not save you and white clothes will not destroy you. 7. Prayer, fasting and vigilance over ourselves, that is, keeping our thoughts and feelings, make us conquerors of the enemies of our salvation. The most difficult of these three things is prayer - an eternal virtue, which, through practice, turns into a skill, and prayer until death requires motivation, therefore, achievement. Prayer is difficult because our old man resists it, but it is also difficult because the enemy rises with all his might against the one praying. Prayer is the suggestion of death to the devil. Although, of course, he has already died spiritually, prayer seems to strike him again, and therefore he resists it in every possible way. Even saints, it seems, should only be consoled by prayer, but at times it is difficult for them too. True, prayer brings with it high consolations, and not only to the righteous, but also to the sinner. 8. Some people pay all their attention only to the external post, without understanding the internal one at all. So, for example, such a person comes into society, and in conversations they begin to condemn their neighbors. He takes an active part in them and steals a lot from his neighbor’s honor. It's time for dinner. They offer him quick food, cutlets, a pig, etc. He resolutely refuses. “Well, eat,” the owners persuade, “after all, “it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth” (Matthew 15:11). “No, I’m fasting,” he declares, completely unaware that by judging his neighbor, he has already broken and even completely destroyed the fast. 9 . Yesterday I celebrated mass in the cathedral. Many children received communion: everyone approached calmly, it was clear that they were uniting with Christ. Suddenly they bring in a girl about two and a half years old. She screamed loudly, then, freeing the leg, hit the chalice. I was stunned. After all, the Holy Mysteries could spill onto the floor. I don’t know how I held the Cup in my old hands. That’s right, the Guardian Angel, who invisibly always stands near us, weakened the force of the blow. I ask what the girl's name is. They say: “Zina.” Her aunt brought it, since her mother is not a believer and never goes to church. The aunt barely managed to snatch the girl from her mother’s arms for communion. And I thought: what lies ahead for this child? The Lord knows the fate of every person... 10. Life is complicated. The enemy strongly attacks those who want to be saved, but the sacraments, prayer and the sign of the cross destroy all his machinations and do nothing. Life is a book. Its pages are the events of our lives... There is nothing in our lives that does not matter, only we often do not understand this, and only minds enlightened by God’s grace understand the meaning of each case. There are typos in the book. Mistakes happen in life, often difficult to correct, and only the Lord can correct them. 11. We live in terrible times. People who profess Jesus Christ and attend the church of God are subjected to ridicule and condemnation. These ridicule will turn into open persecution, and do not think that this will happen in a thousand years, no, it will come soon. I won't live to see it, but some of you will see it. And torture and torment will begin again, but good for those who remain faithful to Christ God. 12. Church prayer is important; the best thoughts and feelings come in church. True, the enemy attacks more powerfully in the church. 13. Don't be discouraged. Let those who do not believe in God lose heart - for them, of course, grief is difficult, since they have nothing but earthly pleasures, but believers should not lose heart, since through grief they receive the right to sonship, without which it is impossible to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 14. Visit the church of God more often, especially in grief - it’s good to stand in some dark corner, pray and cry from your heart. And the Lord will comfort you, He will certainly comfort you. And you will say: “Lord, I thought that there was no way out of my difficult situation, but You, Lord, helped me.” In published by Fr. Theodosius brochure in memory of Fr. Barsanuphius (“Wreath on the Grave of Father”) describes February and March 1913, the last months of the Elder’s life. “While the Orthodox believing people,” it says there, “flocked to the Elder to receive relief from not only mental but also physical ailments, Father himself was being undermined by a severe illness at that time. Long ago, over twenty years, he attacked Father and from then on did not leave him until the grave. Or rather, Father had not just one illness, but several, only all belonging to the category of stomach and intestinal. There is no doubt that nerves played a significant role in this disease. Father's incessant worries about Golutvin, numerous griefs, overwork and often complete exhaustion from backbreaking work intensified his illness every day. Somehow Father managed to cope throughout 1912, but from the very beginning of 1913 he began to quickly weaken. It started with a cold during the Great Blessing of Water on Epiphany Eve, when he immediately felt very ill. From that time on, the Elder’s stomach completely refused to digest food, although it was taken in the most insignificant quantities. It remained entirely in the stomach and intestines, which were cleared, and even then not completely, only after taking strong laxatives. The whole month of January went by like this. At the beginning of February, Father, despite his weakness, undertook a trip to Moscow on monastery business. In Moscow, he suddenly felt so bad that he quickly hurried to return to Golutvin... Returning to his monastery, Father did not stop receiving people, although his strength was noticeably declining every day. In mid-February he fell ill and on the 15th he confessed, received the Holy Mysteries, and then expressed a fervent desire to receive unction. Those around him began to fear for his life, but the Lord preserved it for another month and a half: he stood up and again began his feat of serving the suffering. On February 21, at the invitation of the Kolomna clergy, Father performed a solemn service in the cathedral on the occasion of the celebration of the 300th anniversary of the reign of the House of Romanov. February and the first days of March passed... Father hardly ate anything anymore. On March 9, during the all-night vigil (it was Saturday), he felt very bad and did not go to church; he did not serve on Sunday. On March 12, Father wrote to the head of the Optina Monastery, Hieromonk Theodosius, in his own hand a long letter, in which, among other things, he said the following: “In moments of sorrowful thoughts, about various hardships, I am carried away in my mind to dear Optina, to my beloved Skete...” Then, expressing a desire to return to the Skete, he wrote: “Perhaps the Lord will vouchsafe me to shut myself up in it and prepare for death, which is apparently approaching... I stop still on the decision: to wait for a clear indication of the will of God...” However, Father received people until Wednesday, March 13 inclusive. On Wednesday evening, as usual, he prepared to go to church for Matins at 12 o’clock at night, but his illness became so severe that a confessor was immediately invited, who immediately confessed and communed Father with the spare Holy Gifts. From that day until his blessed death, the Elder partook of the Holy Mysteries of Christ almost every day and did not take any food or drink in the literal sense. They invited a paramedic, and on Saturday, March 16, a doctor arrived from Moscow, who diagnosed intestinal paralysis and prescribed a course of treatment, but Father flatly refused, completely surrendering to the will of God and rejecting all medical means and all the arguments of human reason. Immediately, Father ordered to invite all the brethren to say goodbye to him and blessed everyone with icons. The spiritual children of the Elder and the people were also admitted.” March 17 Fr. Barsanuphius dictated a spiritual testament: “Finally putting aside all the cares of this world, which so oppressed and tormented my spirit; – I’ll say briefly... my last word and my last testament to my dear former spiritual children. And, firstly, I humbly ask - forgive me all my voluntary and involuntary sins that I have committed against you, and I myself forgive everyone for all the sorrows and grief that I caused through some at the instigation of the original enemy of our salvation. Have faith, holy fathers and brothers, that all my actions and desires boiled down to one thing: to protect the holy covenants and institutions of the ancient ascetic fathers and our great elders in all their divine and wonderful beauty from various pernicious trends of this age, the beginning of which is satanic pride, and the end is unquenchable fire and endless torment! Maybe I did this poorly - I repent of it and submit myself before the goodness of God, begging for mercy. And I ask and pray to you, all those who have loved me in the Lord: keep my humble words - do not quench your spirit, but rather warm it with patient prayer and diligent reading of the patristic and sacred writings, cleansing your heart from passions. It is better to agree to suffer a thousand deaths than to deviate from the Divine commandments of the Gospel and the wondrous institutions of monks. Take courage in your struggle, do not deviate from it, even if all hell rises up against you and the whole world boils with anger and reproach against you, and believe: “The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth” 47. Amen". Then (about a week later) the Elder dictated an addition to the will: “I also bequeath in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ not to bury my body until obvious signs of death are revealed - everyone knows what these signs are.” He signed this text with his own hand: “Sinful Archimandrite Barsanuphius,” in large letters, as if by a child’s hand... On March 22, Father sent a petition to Metropolitan Macarius of Moscow, which said: “I kneel and ask, as a favor, the petition of Your Eminence before the Holy Governing Synod to dismiss me from my position as rector of the Kolomna Staro-Golutvin Monastery and to transfer me to the number of the brethren of the Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage monastery, where I laid the foundation for monastic life and lived for more than twenty years. What prompts me to make such a request is, on the one hand, the responsibility, labors and duties of a superior, and on the other, my countless mental and physical weaknesses, due to which I cannot worthily bear these responsibilities. I accepted the burden of leadership as a heavy yoke, I accepted it as obedience only, just as in 1905, despite my 60 years of age, I accepted a business trip to the Far East to perform pastoral duties in the army. I went there as if condemned to death, no longer hoping to see my dear Skeet; however, the hand of the Lord was with me, and I returned safely to my native Optina Pustyn. I hoped then, leaving all external worries, in the silence of my cell to mourn my sins, to cleanse my soul with tears and prepare my soul for the transition to eternity, but God judged otherwise. By the will of His Eminence Veniamin, the former bishop of Kaluga and Borovsk, upon the election of the entire brotherhood of Optina Pustyn, I was appointed head of the monastery, fraternal confessor and elder, instead of the elder Hieroschemamonk Joseph, who retired due to illness from carrying out these positions, whose assistant I had been listed as since 1904. In 1907 I was elevated to the rank of abbot. I wasn't looking for any of this; I prayed to the Lord only to have the opportunity to work unhindered for Him as an ordinary monk; I hoped that sooner or later the Lord would not reject my prayer, and I bore the cross of authority and eldership placed on me. This was the case until the beginning of 1912. I was already thinking that the time was approaching when I would have the opportunity to step away from positions of authority and, in a solitary cell, purify my inner being with prayer and tears; I had already submitted a petition to dismiss me from my position, when suddenly I was appointed abbot of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery. Dejected by illnesses, not having the proper experience to manage an entire monastery, burdened with 7 decades of years I had lived, with great sorrow, as if on a crucifixion, I set out from my native Skete and, as if under a crown of thorns, I bowed my head under the golden miter. For a whole year I carried a cross beyond my strength, but now I am exhausted to the end. I am lying on my bed, perhaps already on my deathbed, I am lying, completely broken by the severe ailments that have crushed me, and in great sorrow I beg Your Eminence to intercede before the Holy Governing Synod for my dismissal from the post of abbot of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery, with transfer to the brotherhood of the Optina Hermitage Skete.” By signing this petition, Fr. Barsanuphius said to his clerk, monk John Belyaev: “As soon as I get my dismissal, we’ll all go to Optina, where I’ll lay my bones.” “The situation became more and more serious every day,” wrote Fr. Feodosius. – The Elder’s clerks, alternating with his cell attendants, did not leave his bed day and night. Even in great suffering, Father did not forget about his spiritual children, especially caring for those around him; and how touching these concerns of his were! He taught them a lot during this time about patience, humility and life in the spirit. “Come, children, listen to me” (Ps. 33:12), he said, “an honest river” (Prov. 8:6)...; and they all, surrounding his bed, looked with sorrow as this great lamp was extinguished, at the hour of its luminosity the hearts of his spiritual children rejoiced so much from the consciousness that he was leading them not astray; they watched as this great bearer of the best behests of the Optina eldership passed away into eternity; they looked and, reverently holding their breath, greedily caught his every word, clearly realizing that this source of living water was drying up forever.” Mother Elena Shamonina described in detail the last days of the life of her spiritual father (her letter later circulated among many of the Elder’s children). “The priest was dressed in the schema,” she wrote, “which was no longer removed from him... He stopped speaking, but suffered greatly, although he did not complain, but only winced and let out groans twice, which turned the whole soul of those present. In response to the efforts of the cell attendants to somehow relieve him, he said even earlier: “Leave him alone. I am crucified and am waiting to be taken down from the cross.” The cell attendants clearly saw that the end was coming, and they expected it no earlier than April 1 and no later than April 6, and here’s why. Father loved Pasha Diveevskaya very much and sent her money. When, moving to Golutvin, he sent her money, they described to him how she accepted it: she took it, looked at it for a long time, wrapped it in something, put it under the icons and said the number: “365.” Then both Father and the cell attendants decided that Father would have to stay in Golutvin for a year, and then maybe he would be released to retire. But they didn’t know where to calculate the year: on April 1, Father left Optina last year 49, and on the 6th, having been ordained as an archimandrite in Moscow, he arrived in Golutvin—so what? Father died on the 1st, and on the 6th the carriage with the body left Golutvin: 365 days were exactly fulfilled. Having stopped going to Matins because of Father’s illness, the cell attendants did not set the alarm clock for several days, and it stopped at 5 minutes of 8 in the morning, and it stayed like that for the last days of Father’s illness. On April 1, at 5 minutes past 8 a.m., Father quietly sighed and rested. The face immediately changed, according to the cell attendants: it acquired some kind of whiteness and an expression that was unusual for him: during his life he looked “stern,” according to the cell attendant’s expression: the deceased’s face took on an expression of extraordinary meekness, humility and joy. I, who arrived after the death of Father, did not have to see his face. He very strictly commanded that no one should dare to lift the casing: “Whoever looks at the face of me dead will not see me at the Last Judgment,” said Father. It’s clear that no one dared to ask him to open his face.” Father Theodosius, apparently, from the words of his cell attendants, described the decline of the Elder: “Father suffered greatly and sometimes even groaned. A huge tumor in the throat, which appeared a week and a half before death, greatly impeded breathing. Father often called by name, in addition to the holy saints of God and the Mother of God, for whom he had a childhood love, also all the Optina elders: Leo, Macarius, Ambrose, Hilarion, Anatoly and Joseph, saying: “Father Lev, Father Macarius, Father Ambrose, Father Hilarion, Father Anatoly, Father Joseph, help me with your holy prayers!” On March 31, at 11 a.m., we read the waste document for the third time (the first time it was read on March 20, and the second time on the 30th). It was noticeable that it was becoming more and more difficult for Father to breathe. At this time, he began to speak and ask those around him if they understood, but they could not quite clearly understand his speech, since Father was pronouncing his words too indistinctly and weakly. However, in order not to tire Father with repeated questions, they said that they understood everything. Then Father began to talk about paradise, but his speech became weaker and more indistinct every minute. Whether Father had any vision or not is unknown. It was only clear that we were talking about paradise 50. These were his last words. All the time he was fully conscious and called those around him by name. Around six in the morning, Father fell silent and began to breathe quietly and evenly. His breathing became less and less frequent, and at 7 o'clock 7 minutes in the morning on April 1, 1913, he gave up his soul in the hands of the Lord, Whom he loved so much and for whose sake he crucified himself all his life until the last minute. There were no convulsions with Father at his death, not even any signs of pain were noticed: he seemed to have fallen asleep peacefully. Immediately the Elder’s body was hidden and dressed in the schema, which he had secretly had since 1910 and in which he bequeathed to be placed in a coffin. After reading the canon on the exodus of the soul, the father treasurer of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery, Hieromonk Seraphim, with the dean, Fr. Innocent served the first memorial service amid the inconsolable sobbing of those present. The picture was amazing; the servants and singers themselves could not utter words from tears. Everyone understood that this loss could not be compensated for in any way.” Mother Elena describes what happened in Staro-Golutvin then: “New spiritual children arrived at the hotel with each train and many stayed in the houses of ordinary people (including me); The church where the coffin stood was not locked, and spiritual children crowded around Father day and night. Someone wasn't here! And nuns from all four corners of the world, and young girls, and elderly ladies, and military and civil people, and clergy, and many local peasants, and a lot of local children who remembered Father’s affection, the sweets that he distributed to them... Who cries, who bows and kisses Father, who carries rosaries, belts, icons bought in a shop and asks the monk on duty at the coffin to put these things Father's hand - and accepts it back as a blessing from him. Those who have recently arrived are crying, those who have been living longer are already dulled, and there are no more tears... To the side there is a record of those wishing to go with the body to Optina. Almost simultaneously with me, the dean arrived in Golutvin, bringing a message that 1) the funeral service for Father would not be on Wednesday the 3rd, as we thought, but on Saturday the 6th and 2) the Holy Synod and the Metropolitan had indicated that he should be buried in Optina. Father's immediate superior and his personal friend from Optina, His Eminence Tryphon, will come to the funeral service... Due to the zeal of all the arriving admirers of Father, local and visitors, funeral services were served almost continuously at the tomb. The hieromonk served, standing by the Gospel, and the latter was almost not read. “When it’s time...” - and they shove money into his hand, he sticks a candle in, takes up the censer and begins a new funeral service. “Let us pray to the Lord in peace...” - “Anton, where are you?” - and a sleepy voice: “Lord, have mercy.” Anton, who performed the duties of a psalm-reader, became hoarse and tired and either did not respond at all or sang in a hoarse voice. Involuntarily, we, standing in the corners, began to sing along, then huddled together in one group, and then the treasurer, and also the hieromonk Fr. Palladium 51, starting the funeral service, they announced: “Mothers, who can sing, come here!” - and we got together and sang all this week. True, it happened that they got confused and sang not quite correctly: after all, we are from different places, and not all of us are singers, but it was warm and joyful that our Father was not left with Anton alone, that we had the opportunity to perform his last service for him... A day later, on Friday, I see one of the visiting Shamordino nuns walking around all the nuns and saying something. It turns out that he didn’t like that the church was dirty and dusty... “Father, poor thing, how unpleasant it is for him to lie in such dirt! Sisters, wash the floor, clean the church! And whoever can’t wash, read the Psalter in the meantime, so that Father doesn’t lie without reading!” We were blessed by the treasurer, and by the end of the hour I looked: all these nuns from Shamorda, Belev, Voronezh and others had been transformed: where did the short jackets come from, long cassocks were picked up, and the bustle, washing, cleaning began. That’s when I was glad that I was a nun! They washed everything, opened the windows, wiped everything - and for this they received lunch in the fraternal refectory.” It was the 5th. In the church cleaned out by the nuns, two abbots of the Kolomna monasteries (Fr. Izmaragd from Novo-Golutvin and Fr. Filaret from Bobrenev) served a funeral all-night vigil, and then the Optina hieromonk Palladius 52 sang several memorial services in a row while the nuns sang, who did not leave the church until late at night. On the same day, in the abbot’s chambers, icons were distributed to people for blessing, and some of his things were distributed to the Elder’s close children for his intended purpose. On the night of April 6, Bishop Tryphon arrived. On this day - it was Saturday - the Bishop, together with the hieromonks and Kolomna clergy, served the funeral Liturgy with the choir of nuns of the Kolomna convent singing (at the same time he ordained the old Golutvin hierodeacon Innokenty as hieromonk). “All these days we stood strong and cried little,” writes Mother Elena, “because everyone around us said that we were disturbing Father with our tears. The Lord untied us. After mass, before the funeral service, he came out to speak. And he began with the fact that on this significant day we sing the funeral service for Father: Lazarus Sunday - it assures us that our souls will also be resurrected, that the soul of our Father has also been resurrected for the villages of paradise. And the Gospel story about the Resurrection of Lazarus answers our question: is it possible to cry for the dead? “Of course, it’s possible, the Lord Himself wept over Lazarus... Then the Vladyka began to speak, addressing Father as if he were alive, and recalling his various meetings with him.” The sonorous, beautiful voice of Lord Tryphon was interrupted by excitement. “The Lord shed tears over Lazarus,” he said, “even though he knew that he would resurrect him.” So we cry, and as Elisha, seeing Elijah ascending to heaven, cries out: “Father, father! The chariot of Israel and his cavalry" 53! - and we exclaim: Father, Father! why did you leave us, who did you leave us for! What are we going to do now? How did you leave us orphans?..” There were sobs in the church. “But our tears should not be tears of despondency and despair,” continued the Bishop. – Let us console ourselves with the fact that our dear Father has left the worldly toil for eternal life and peace, and that the time will come when we too will follow him. We were all connected to him by bonds of love, and love never dies. The Bishop bowed to the ground before the tomb of the Elder: – I bow to you, dear brother, Father, for your love for me, for your wonderful conversations, for your precious instructions... And I also bow to you for your spiritual children. As a shepherd, I know very well what a sea of ​​sorrows, doubts and sin surrounds modern humanity: I know that people often reach the abyss of despair, to suicide - and that’s why I know how precious elder leaders like the late Father are in our time. At the moment of final death, such an old man appears to a desperate person and says: “Wait, don’t be afraid, don’t despair, all is not lost, give me your hand, I will lead you onto the road, lean on me, I will lead you, lift up your sorrows, help you start living again”... Such an old man was Father, he lived with the sorrows of his children and burned out in sorrows. “You only knew how to love, only do good,” said the Lord, “and what a sea of ​​anger and slander poured out on you!” You accepted everything with humility, like the long-suffering Job, saying: “The Lord is given, the Lord is taken away” (Job 1:21)... I am a witness that I have not heard a single word of condemnation from You to anyone. Submissively submitting to the will of God, the Elder left the quiet Optina Skete and in a new place with all zeal devoted himself to the work of improving the monastery. If you, brothers (the Vladyka addressed the Golutvin monks), have ever seen his gaze stern, then believe me, I know that he loved all of you. But the weak body could not withstand the backbreaking labor, his strength was strained, and Father left us... And so we gathered around him for the last time. In this speech, Bishop Tryphon remembered and warmly described several of his meetings with Fr. Barsanuphius, - the first was back when the Elder was a novice, albeit already gray-haired, and he, Vladyka, was a student at the Theological Academy, a young hieromonk. Then the Elder’s departure for the Russo-Japanese War... His visits to Optina, a visit to the hermitage’s house... “Let us pray for the deceased, that the Lord may house him in His courts, and through his prayers may he have mercy on us!” And the Vladyka, having finished his speech, began the funeral service for Fr. Barsanuphia. Then everyone gathered in the church said their last goodbyes to the deceased. The coffin was closed. Here he was lifted onto the shoulders of the clergy and spiritual children, they carried him around the church and moved towards the gate. There was already a funeral carriage standing on the railway line close to the monastery. With stops - with several litias - the coffin was brought into the carriage, and then the funeral services began again. There were employees and singers in the carriage, and people stood on the ground around, singing along with the choir. The day was sunny and bright. The funeral singing carried far over the meadows, over the waters of the Oka and Moscow Rivers... A fresh spring wind blew. These funeral services went on in the carriage until the evening. The coffin was placed in a metal box. From somewhere appeared banners, an external cross entwined with flowers, icons - all this was mounted on the walls inside the car, covered with black fabric. Even the candlestick was brought, and the lights of the candles flickered on it... “How many times have I come to the carriage,” writes Mother Elena, “a crowd of people, more and more from local inhabitants, on their knees, nuns singing, and the already hoarse hieromonk serving.” At seven o'clock in the evening the carriage was closed, a steam locomotive was brought in, and the carriage, accompanied by a crowd of people, slowly went to the Golutvino station, where it was attached to a train preparing to leave for Moscow. Until six in the morning the carriage stood at the station, and two nuns in it read the Psalter all night at the tomb of the Elder. “The next morning, from the hotel and philistine houses at 5 o’clock in the morning, the priest’s spiritual children reached the train at the station,” mother Elena continues. “They opened the carriage, served a memorial service and set off. The mourners occupied two carriages, and three nuns and the Optina hieromonk Palladius 54 rode in the funeral carriage. Three lines were assigned for us nuns: one troika traveled from Golutvin to Moscow, the other Moscow - Sukhinichi (night), the third - Sukhinichi - Kozelsk. I ended up in the second line, that is, Moscow - Sukhinichi. At about one o'clock in the afternoon we arrived in Moscow, where the coffin was transferred from the Ryazan station to the Bryansk station. It was possible to go further only at 9:20 in the evening - and the whole day they held funeral services near the carriage, as new spiritual children were constantly coming and coming.” Fathers who did not have the opportunity to come to Golutvin. All day long the audience on the platform changed: men, ladies, youth, nuns, clergy, who were dressed and serving litias and memorial services. Some cry, some sing, some pray earnestly on their knees, some make their way up the stairs into the carriage, bow, and kiss the box. The candles placed by the prayers at the coffin are burning brightly, the cross of flowers is white, the banners are swaying - and all together it rather resembles some kind of celebration, it’s as if we are all serving at some shrine, and not just paying our last debt to the deceased.” Before leaving Moscow, near the carriage with the body of Elder Barsanuphius, a prayer service was served to the Savior, the Mother of God, St. Barsanuphius and St. Sergius for a “safe journey.” “Requiem services were served at large stations,” says Mother Elena, “and the Psalms were changed along the way. In Sukhinichi, due to some oversight of the railway authorities, our carriage fell behind the train to Kozelsk and then we were allowed in separately. In Kozelsk we were met by a small group of Optina residents: three hieromonks, one hierodeacon, and choristers. The coffin was placed on the road and they began the final journey. We stopped in the field before Kozelsk several times for a litiya, and when we entered the city, we moved through one square for, really, almost half an hour: as soon as we move after the litiya, a new person separates from the crowd, hands the monk money and asks for a new litiya, and do you know who gave the money? Over the five years of traveling to Optina, the Kozel beggars who came to Father every day for alms became familiar in my eyes - and it was they who gave the monks pennies for the lithium.” When the drogs with the coffin of the Elder, accompanied by a multitude of people carrying banners, crosses and icons, appeared at the crossing of the Zhizdra, the funeral bell rang louder from the Optina bell tower. On the monastery shore there were all the brethren, led by Hieromonk Theodosius (Archimandrite Xenophon was seriously ill and could not leave his cell), as well as many people. This is how an eyewitness describes this moment: “And then the two processions united. The spectacle was as touching as it was majestic. It is impossible to describe in words the feelings that overwhelmed those present at this unusual meeting. The brethren cried, the pilgrims sobbed, and Father Theodosius, the monastery leader, barely uttered his lithic cries in tears. The procession stretched over a large space. The coffin, at the insistence of the Elder’s admirers, covered with two brocade bedspreads constructed by their diligence, was carried in the arms of the brethren, presented with icons, banners and preceded by a large host of clergy in mourning vestments, led by the monastery leader.” At about two o'clock in the afternoon the procession entered the Holy Gate of the monastery... This is how Fr. returned. Barsanuphius to his native Optina! Even if he is in the grave - such is the will of God - but here he is, and this “served as a considerable consolation to the brethren,” as the Optina residents noted. “We went to the Vvedensky Cathedral,” writes Mother Elena, “where the funeral service was held. After that... an hour later we went in a religious procession with the coffin to the Skete, and we were all allowed there. Again a memorial service, they carried the coffin around the skete church and returned back to the monastery. We’re walking past the Archimandrite’s room,” someone noticed that Archimandrite Xenophon was looking out the window at the procession; he was very ill, almost dying; they said he had liver cancer and something in his kidneys. Supported by his cell attendants, he looked after the coffin - his sad face probably reflected that they had not parted with Father for many days.” The coffin was placed in the Kazan Cathedral, and there at seven o'clock in the evening the all-night vigil began according to the rite of Great Tuesday (Holy Week was in progress) in conjunction with the parastas. Served Fr. Theodosius with the hieromonks. After the second kathisma he said the word: “Today in this church a sorrowful sight is revealed to our eyes, brothers... There is a coffin before us... It stands silently, but with its appearance it speaks a lot to our mind and heart. In it, in this cramped coffin, lies the body dear to us in God of our deceased elder, Hieroarchimandrite Barsanuphius... We, the spiritual children of the deceased Elder, loved him as a father and mentor, and now we accept with love and tenderness this sad coffin, as a guarantee of eternal love for the Lord. Then Fr. Theodosius read the will of Fr. Barsanuphia. The service lasted until eleven o'clock. The next morning, April 9, at seven o'clock in the morning the bell rang for the clock, and then for the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts. Instead of the sacramental verse, a student of the Theological Seminary, monastic monk Kirill (Kanardov), spoke on behalf of the Optina residents and said the following words: - So this is what your coming to us is like... so this is what your last dying appeal to us meant with a request to accept you into Optina Pustyn... You foresaw your outcome, and your request, a request while still alive, was like a prophetic indication of what we now see... News often reached us that you think about Optina, that you still love her, that you sincerely wish to return to her and reunite with the brotherhood, with which, during your twenty years of life together, the roots from which your spiritual worldview grew, which exalted you to the level of an elder, a leader, a spiritual nurturer and a reasonable boss, seemed to have grown together... Our dear Father! How can we resist, not respond to your love with the same... You did not forget us... How could we, who breathed with you the same Optina spirit, how could we forget you! And we remembered, we grieved for you... “The Master entrusts this talent to you, my soul; “Receive the gift with fear,” the Holy Church now sings, as if to edify us, so that we would accept with fear this terrible gift set before our eyes, as a lesson in these virtues: “Borrow from him who gave, giving to the poor, and acquire a friend of the Lord, so that you may stand at His right hand.” It is these virtues that are resurrected in our memory when we imagine the magnificent image of the ever-memorable elder Barsanuphius - this is his love for his neighbors, benevolence and love of poverty; This is instructive for us: obedience, which is alien to contradiction; directness and sincerity, which did not tolerate hypocrisy, double-mindedness and deceit, tireless and indefatigable work, combined with concern for strengthening and consolidating power and obedience to it, for regulations, order and decorum for the common good, and zeal for the splendor of God’s churches, as an expression of love for God... May the Lord bless him, may he be numbered among the elect and in the villages of the blessed, together with the elders Moses, Isaac, Leo, Macarius, Anthony, Hilarion, Ambrose, Anatoly and Joseph, will he enshrine the soul of His servant, the newly departed elder, the holy archimandrite, schema-monk Barsanuphius. At the end of the Liturgy, Fr. Theodosius, twenty-one hieromonks and four hierodeacons, in black vestments. Candles were distributed to the pilgrims and brethren, and the last requiem service began before the burial of the Elder. And so, to the singing of “Holy God...” and the ringing of bells, the coffin of Elder Barsanuphius floated in the arms of the brethren from the church - the funeral procession stopped at the southern doors of the Vvedensky Cathedral, where the final resting place of Fr. Barsanuphius, next to Elder Anatoly, his mentor, beloved father and leader... Grave of Fr. Barsanuphia was lined with tiles inside, and a brick vault filled with cement was made above the coffin. When the coffin was lowered and earth was poured on top, which was also covered with turf, they erected a large cross with an image of the Dormition of the Mother of God and a lantern-lamp embedded in it... Later, a common chapel was built for both elders, inside which were their tombstones 55 - isn’t this an indication of their spiritual unity - o.o. Anatolia and Barsanuphius? They brought pine branches from Skete and covered the grave mound in a cross shape. Now the funeral services have begun over the grave of the Elder. First served Fr. Innokenty, who then accompanied the coffin from Staro-Golutvin, Fr. Gabriel. And o. Theodosius invited the spiritual children of the late Elder to his former home. “Everything there has been preserved as it was under Father Elena,” writes Mother Elena, “the same icons, the same furniture, paper icons lie on the window, as if Father began handing them out, but didn’t finish, so they lie on the window... On the table in the prayer room there is a memorial cup with St. oil and a brush on it - as if yesterday our Father anointed it with it and left it lying there. Only the Angel with the praying woman is not at the stove, and I don’t know where he is... That’s where I had to cry! Both days about. Theodosius served a memorial service there, anointed him with the priest’s oil, distributed leaves and pictures... On the day of the burial... Fr. Feodosius organized a tea party in the hut: we all sat on benches, and they brought us cups of tea and white bread. It was impossible to offer a greater treat in respect of the fast of Holy Week...” Fr.'s diary has not survived. Nikon (Belyaev) of this time. The spiritual daughter of the elder Nikon Maria Semyonovna Dobromyslova (nun Maria) writes in the biography of her mentor: “Fr. Nicholas was not at the funeral. He was in the hospital. Bedridden by a serious illness, he, with a heart filled with great sorrow, sobbing, listened to the mournful, heart-tugging funeral chime and the cast-iron buzzing of the nine-hundred-pound monastery large bell. He was sick with rheumatic carditis, that is, acute rheumatic inflammation of the joints and heart... Only a month after the burial of the Elder did he come out of there.” On May 15, the fifth day after the fortieth anniversary of the late Elder, Nikolai Belyaev was transferred from Skete to the monastery. Later, in 1922, while still in Optina Pustyn, in a letter to his mother, Fr. Nikon wrote: “These days I have repeatedly remembered Father Barsanuphius. I remembered his words, his instructions given to me once, and maybe more than once. He told me: “The Apostle commands: Test yourself to see if you are in the faith,” and continued: “Look what the same Apostle says: “I am dead, I have kept the faith, but now a crown is prepared for me” (2 Tim. 4:7-8). Yes, it is a great thing to preserve and keep the faith. Therefore, I tell you: test yourself to see if you are in the faith. If you keep the faith, you can have good faith about your fate.” When the deceased Elder told me all this (and he spoke well and with enthusiasm, as far as I remember, in the evening, in the quiet light of a lamp in his dear, cozy old man’s cell), I felt that he was saying something wondrous, lofty, and spiritual. The mind and heart greedily grasped his words. I had heard this apostolic saying before, but it did not produce such an effect on me, such an impression. It seemed to me: what’s so special about keeping the faith? I believe and believe in the Orthodox way, I have no doubts about my faith. But then I felt that there was something great in this saying; what is really great: despite all the temptations, all the experiences of life, all the temptations, to keep in your heart the fire of holy faith unquenchable - and unquenchable even to death, for it is said: The course of death - that is, the whole earthly life has already been lived, over, the path that had to be taken has already been passed, I am already on the verge of earthly life, another life has already begun beyond the grave, which my faith has prepared for me, which I complied I passed away, I kept my faith. And the wondrous elder commanded me to test myself from time to time in the truths of the Orthodox faith, so as not to deviate from them unnoticed by myself... Now, when the foundations of the Orthodox Russian Church have been shaken, I see how precious the elder’s instruction is. Now it’s as if the time has come to test whether we are in the faith. After all, you also need to know that faith can be maintained by someone who ardently and sincerely believes, to whom God is dearer than anything else, and this last thing can only be achieved by someone who keeps himself from all sin, who preserves his morality. Oh my God! keep me in faith by Your grace." Fr. began to live in the monastery's house. Feodosius. In the book by I.M. Kontsevich “Optina Pustyn and Its Time” there are several short stories about him by the Shamorda nun Alexandra (Gurko). “Father Theodosius,” she said, “being the spiritual son of Fr. Barsanuphius was his confessor. One day Fr. comes. Theodosius to the Elder: “Father, your son has come to you!” “What a son he is to me,” the Elder objected, smiling, “we are equal.” Fr himself smiled. Feodosius. Both of them knew that he was just a “son” and treated the Elder with respect. After the death of Fr. Barsanuphius appeared to many of the monks living in the Skete. Father Theodosius was very upset that he was not awarded such a vision. One day he lay down on his bed during the afternoon rest and suddenly saw that the deceased Elder was sitting right opposite him and looking intently at him. Father Theodosius could not move from the feeling of reverent joy. The vision lasted quite a long time and left for a long time in the cell the feeling of grace that accompanied the miraculous vision.” I. M. Kontsevich, with reference to the book of Archimandrite Anthony (Medvedev) “The Little Elder,” also cites such a case with Fr. Theodosius: “He, loving to read the akathist to the Mother of God, wanted to know it by heart. And when his mentor died, Elder Theodosius, wrapped in his blanket, suddenly began to read the Akathist to the Mother of God, having received this gift, like Elisha with Elijah’s mantle.” Another appearance of Elder Barsanuphius after his death was recorded in the “Chronicle of Skete” on November 12, 1913: “The skete guide, Hieromonk Kuksha, recently saw in a dream the deceased elder Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius, who, approaching him in the church, asked that after the Liturgy they sing: “Under Your mercy...”. At the end of the mass, Fr. Kuksha asked the Elder if he liked the singing. “Yes,” answered Father, “and you always do that.” On this occasion, by order of the monastery commander, Fr. Theodosius introduced the above-mentioned singing into the Skete.” This rule is still sacredly observed - after the Liturgy in the Church of the Baptist, which is sung in the Znamenny chant, they sing “We take refuge under Your mercy, Virgin Mary...”. Once upon a time, namely in 1889, Fr. Barsanuphius wrote a poem in memory of one pious and wise man. One cannot help but want to attribute some of his stanzas to the author himself, who seemed to have already seen our attitude towards him, towards the memory of him. These are the stanzas (first and last): And feelings of spiritual beauty People's hearts strove for him. But the last hour was approaching. Struck by death, he faded away, Faded! but the joy of hope, And the light of aspirations and desires, Accomplishing a difficult feat To the best of our God-given strength, With all the order of a wonderful life. Having loved Christ with all my heart, And sacredly honoring His statutes, - Didn't fall under the weight of the cross! Let's pray! So that the Creator For the blessed and right path, As a confessor - in the kingdom of glory! Like all the elders who were in Optina before him, Father Barsanuphius was revered by the people, who saw in him a manifestation of God's grace. Fr. spoke wonderfully about this. Theodosius in the Word on the 40th day from the day of the blessed death of the elder Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius: “Father knew how to accept, listen to, and give appropriate advice and instruction to everyone who came to him, being made wise by the grace of God. And this grace that rested on the Elder could be experienced by anyone who came to him as an elder. And they come to the elder for no other reason than to humble their wisdom and break their evil will, in order to make it submissive to the will of God. Here Father appeared in all the greatness of an old man. Even his appearance and manner made a strong beneficial impression. He was ready to kindly treat anyone, no matter who he was, and he could not stand only hypocrisy, self-indulgence, stubborn disobedience and pride. He treated such people strictly and even harshly, because he could not indulge them as a boss and elder. And one must not be embarrassed by this severity, for it agrees with the spiritual law. For this is what the holy fathers taught, for example, St. John Climacus, St. Mark the Ascetic and others. Even in the Gospel itself, along with the promise of forgiveness and bliss, strict denunciations and threats are uttered. This means that one does not interfere with the other; This means that both are necessary and consistent with the spirit of Christianity. And there is no doubt that the spirit of Christ dwelt in the Elder and attracted crowds of people to him. He became known throughout Russia in all levels of society. His senile dignity was attested to by many clergy who were in spiritual communication and correspondence with him and who benefited from his instructions. Many called him a great and wise old man, having experienced the power of his godly advice. Many had such faith in Father that they accepted his words without any doubt, and indeed, for the sake of such simple hearts, the Lord made the Elder so wise that through him he expressed His all-holy will. And the fame of Father Barsanuphius grew and grew, although he himself was afraid of this and even tried to close himself off, humbly considering himself a sinner and asking his spiritual children not to say anything about him. But the lamp was lit for this reason and placed on the candlestick, so that it would shine. And he shone for all of us, with the help of God’s grace, instructing us and guiding us to salvation.” The Lord worked miracles through Elder Barsanuphius both during his life and after his death. But today we do not know about all these miracles, but only about those that were included in the memories of his spiritual children, but few of them have reached us. Like all the Optina elders, Elder Barsanuphius conducted extensive correspondence with his spiritual children, but these letters were not collected in due time, and now we do not know whether they were completely lost or, perhaps, by the will of God they would be discovered... An attempt to collect materials about Elder Barsanuphius was made by the Optina residents in 1913. Then the book “In Memory of the Optina Elder Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius” was published. A wreath on the grave of the priest from his spiritual children and admirers on the 40th day of his blessed death,” containing some materials about the deceased 57. On its last pages there was an announcement: “Optina Pustyn is currently preoccupied with collecting materials for compiling a biography of the deceased Elder. Therefore, she earnestly asks everyone who has any information about his life and activities, about cases of the grace-filled effect of his prayer, about insight, about his written and oral instructions, as well as about his life before entering the monastery, to report this to the address: Kozelsk, Kaluga province. Optina Pustyn, to the monastery leader, Hieromonk Theodosius.” Father Theodosius rested in the Lord on March 9, 1920. Soon the monastery was closed and the archive was taken to Moscow. Whether anything was collected by Father Theodosius is unknown. And if it was, it means it disappeared without having time to receive proper processing and publication. Even such important documents for understanding Elder Barsanuphius as the diary of Hieromonk Nikon remained for a long time in manuscript, known only to a small circle of people. After this book was written, a very significant document was discovered, eloquently revealing the opinion of Optina herself about Elder Barsanuphius. This is the petition of the elder brethren of the Desert to the Synod on February 29, 1912 to leave Fr. Barsanuphius in the Optina Skete, do not transfer it to Golutvin. “When discussing this matter,” the letter says, “the elder brethren of the Hermitage and Skete took into account that Fr. Abbot Barsanuphius is currently the most needed monk for the Skete and the Hermitage. With the death of the ever-memorable Fr. Archpriest John of Kronstadt and Elder Fr. Barnabas, in recent years the influx of pilgrims to Optina has noticeably increased, and mainly intelligent, educated people from different parts of Russia: ladies of high society, students of higher educational institutions, teachers, educated young people of both sexes, thirsty for spiritual clarification on the feelings and doubts that concern them, and healing them. And Father Barsanuphius satisfied this need. Long before he entered the monastery, the Lord seemed to be preparing him for the feat of senility... He not only daily constantly orally provides senile care for the flocking of both simple and educated people, but then continues to communicate with them and guide them through correspondence, reaching several - at least four - thousand a year. Optina is located in the very center of Russia; for eldership it needs monks like Fr. Barsanuphius, who currently has no one to replace him.” “Old” Optina needed Elder Barsanuphius, and the elder brethren asked to leave him in the monastery, but today we even more need his invisible presence in the monastery, which we recognize both through his prayerful intercession and through his spiritual heritage. Let us listen with all our souls to how Elder Theodosius concludes his Word - a consolation and edification to all of us: “Let us unceasingly remember the Elder in prayer, paying love for love and nurturing the hope that even beyond the grave he will not forget us, just as he did not forget us during his lifetime. And undoubtedly, the majestic spiritual appearance of the Elder can serve everyone, not to mention those who knew him, as spiritual support in the fight against the vicissitudes, sorrows and misadventures that are so inevitable in human life, reminding us that our fatherland is in heaven, and everything earthly is temporary and perishable, and rousing everyone to life by faith, to patiently bearing the cross of life and trusting always and everywhere in the all-powerful help of the All-Good God. Amen". Reverend Father Barsanuphius, pray to God for us! There is evidence that Fr. Barsanuphius of what he wrote “destroyed most of it during his lifetime” (see: In memory of the Optina elder Schema-Archimandrite Barsanuphius. A wreath on the grave of the priest... M., 1913. P. 15). In Orenburg there were two cadet corps and a Cossack Military School - in which of these educational institutions did Fr. Barsanuphius, unknown, most likely in the latter. More precisely: “From darkness to light.” In this novel, the author depicts free love, strong (demonic) personalities and hopes that the world will be awakened “from shameful hibernation” - “the bloody dawn of revolution.” Kazanka River. The “feasts” took place in the forest, from where there was a magnificent view of the Kazan Kremlin, its cathedrals and towers located on a high hill. Vladyka Anthony (Amphiteatrov, 1815–1879), known for his scholarship, was the nephew of Metropolitan Philaret (Amphiteatrov). The chief of staff of the Kazan Military District was Major General Alexander Savelyevich Barmin. The headquarters was located on Chernoozerskaya Street. The “Chronicle of the Skete” of Optina Pustyn on October 10, 1901 reports that “in memory of the tenth anniversary” since the death of Elder Ambrose, “it is proposed to print and publish as a separate brochure a poem dedicated to the memory of the Elder, written by one of the monastery brethren... Notes for singing will be attached to the poem, which the assistant regent of the choir of singers has already undertaken to write St. Isaac's Cathedral in St. Petersburg Mr. Builov. For the publication of the poem and notes for it, money was sent to Mr. Pogozhev, who took upon himself the work of publishing the poem.” Pogozhev is the real name of the spiritual son of the Venerable Ambrose, the writer Evgeniy Nikolaevich Poselyanin, who was executed on February 12, 1931 in the case of the “twenty of the Transfiguration Cathedral.” “Smart and holy,” Elder Ambrose always said about him. About o.o. For Zosima and Basilisk, see also pp. 237–238 Excerpt from a letter from Fr. Zosima from May 21, 1797; This letter was kept in the archives of Optina Pustyn. On the first page of the notebook, in the hand of the Monk Ambrose, it is inscribed: “Brother Constantine is blessed to record the remarkable incidents of the Optina Hermitage and the Forerunner Skete. 20th September. 1862. Multigr. Ӏ. Ambrose." Saint Pitirim, Bishop of Tambov († 1698), was glorified on July 28, 1914. Pentecostal is an Optina cell rule, consisting of five hundred short prayers with bows: 300 to Jesus, 100 to the Mother of God, 50 to the Guardian Angel and 50 to all the saints. Oldenburg S. S. The reign of Emperor Nicholas II. St. Petersburg, 1991. P. 300. Prot. M.I. Khitrov († 1899) – spiritual writer. See about him: Villager E. In memory of Archpriest M.I. Khitrov / Russian pilgrim. No. 40. St. Petersburg. 1899. pp. 695–696. On the day of Bishop Tryphon’s departure (December 7, 1906), the skete chronicler wrote: “During his stay in the Skete, the Right Reverend, in addition to attending Divine services, repeatedly came to the skete rules in the cathedral cell, where he sometimes read the Gospels, akathists, and canons laid down in the rules; often shared meals with the brethren; he treated the hermits with such attention and was distinguished by such humility that he aroused surprise and aroused deep respect for himself among the brethren.” Worldly name day Fr. Barsanuphia. In the memoirs of I.M. Belyaev it is said about him: “O. Kuksha. Of all the people I knew in Optina, this old baby left me with the best and warmest memory. When we entered, he was a manatean monk, the fourth in seniority (Joel, Job, Patrick, Kuksha), and then a hierodeacon and hieromonk. An excellent charterer. He began in the Glinsk Hermitage when he was still a boy. Meekness, childlike simplicity, severity towards himself, tenderness towards others, zeal for services are his exceptional traits. His very appearance was captivating. He was peaceful with everyone, and everyone loved him. Father Barsanuphius especially loved him.” In hieromonk Fr. Kuksha was ordained on December 4, 1908 - He was from Kursk peasants and entered Optina in April 1889. This refers to the Followed Psalter. Subsequently, these monks opposed Fr. Abbot (see Chapter V). From September 23 to October 8, he was treated in Moscow. He underwent, as the Chronicle of Skeet reports, “a serious operation” Bishop Nikon of Vologda and Totem, who was retired in the Lavra, presided at the congress; he, in fact, organized it. Vladyka conducted extensive publishing activities in the Lavra, wrote a lot himself, and attracted writers to collaborate. Bishop Nikon visited Optina Pustyn in June 1908. During the service in the church, Skeet gave a sermon in which there were the following words: “It’s good here, fathers and brothers, it’s quiet, comfortable. One involuntarily recalls the words of the Psalmist: “Behold, he went away in flight and settled in the desert” (Ps. 54:8).” Holy Martyr Grand Duchess Elizabeth Feodorovna. This means that he was not accepted among the brethren by decree of the Spiritual Consistory. Three poems were published in the St. Petersburg magazine “Good Word” (1911, No. 9–11). Umet - rubbish (Church Slav.). “It’s boring in this world, gentlemen!” - the final phrase of “The Tale of How Ivan Ivanovich Quarreled with Ivan Nikiforovich” by N.V. Gogol. Corresponds to 12.5° Celsius. Since 1918, Metropolitan of Warsaw and All Poland. This manuscript disappeared into the depths of the NKVD. (Metropolitan Seraphim was shot in 1937.) The rector of the Assumption Cathedral in Kozelsk is Archpriest Sergius Protopopov († 1926). Father Nikon spoke during Lent in 1925, and wrote about this later, probably from imprisonment or exile. The elder was referring to the Zhabynskaya Makariev Hermitage, which he visited and where he liked it. They were monks John Belyaev and Kirill Zlenko. Actually on the 2nd, according to the Chronicle of Skete. E. A. Bulgakova, now living, writes in her memoirs: “O. Barsanuphius died in the arms of Ivan Mitrofanovich Belyaev. In the last minutes of his life, he hugged Ivan Mitrofanovich by the neck, bent his head to his chest and spoke to him about paradise.” Here in M. Elena’s story there is an error, which was pointed out by Ivan Belyaev: Hieromonk Gabriel and the cassophore novice Mikhail Yezhov came from Optina (this error was also included in Moskovskie Vedomosti No. 82 of April 9, 1913, and from there in the brochure published in Optina Pustyn on the 40th day of the elder’s death Barsanuphius). The installation of the monument-chapel began on May 24, 1914, as reported in the Chronicle of the Skete. Milot - in ancient times a monastic robe made of goat hair. These materials were collected by the monks Nikolai and John Belyaev.