Слезное моление в понедельник вечером

Accept the petition of defiled and unclean lips, O Lord of all, O lover of mankind, Jesus Christ; Do not disdain me as unworthy and senseless, and do not recognize my soul, which is approaching hell, as unworthy of Your consolation. Seek me out like a lost sheep, because I have neither the zeal nor the sense to correct myself. I am blinded by lust, my soul is darkened, and from the intoxication of passions my heart has become insensitive. I confess all my bitterness, all my wickedness, all my foolishness to You, Lord, Savior of the world. I will also say all the pleasantness, all the sweetness of what, in Your goodness, You did to me, O Lover of Mankind. From the first age I became a bitter person, not disposed towards goodness, an inventor of every vice, capable of every sin. But You, Master, Son of God, due to Your great mercies, did not look upon all my wickedness. My head is exalted by Thy grace, Master, but again it is humbled because of my sins. Your grace again draws me to life, and with all my zeal I rush rather towards death, because my destructive habit of weaknesses, even against my will, draws me towards itself. This passionate skill is terrible; he binds my mind with insoluble bonds; and these bonds always seem desirable to me. By skill I become entangled in nets, and I rejoice, poor thing, that I am entangled. I plunge to the most unbearable depths, and this makes me happy. The enemy daily renews my bonds, and I admire. Oh, how much art the enemy has! Doesn’t bind me with ties that I don’t want; but on the contrary, he always imposes such bonds and nets that I accept with great pleasure, for he knows that my will is stronger, and in the blink of an eye he imposes the bonds that I want. This sobbing and crying is worthy; The shame and shame is that I am bound by my desires. In an instant I can break the bonds and free myself from all networks, but, overcome by weaknesses and arbitrarily servile to passionate skills, I do not want to do this. It’s even more terrible, it makes me shed even more tears of shame that I agree with the wishes of my enemy. He binds me, and I mortify myself with passions that please him. I can break the bonds, but I don’t want to; I can avoid networks, but I don’t want to. What is more sad than this crying and sobbing? What shame is more painful than this? Alas, there is no greater shame than for a person to fulfill the wishes of his enemy! In this position I find myself, the accursed one, I know my bonds and hide them out of timidity. My conscience denounces me: “Why aren’t you sober, poor thing! Don’t you know that the Last Day of Judgment is at the door? Rise up like a strong man and break your bonds! You have the power to loosen and bind.” This is how my holy conscience always denounces me, but I don’t want to free myself from bonds and snares. Every day I lament and sigh about this; It turns out that I am bound by the same passions. I am wretched and poor, I do not show success for the good of my life, I am not afraid to remain in the snares of mortals. The body is shown to those who see it, clothed in a reverent appearance, but the soul is entangled in obscene thoughts. I try to be reverent outwardly, but inwardly I am an abomination to God; I delight my speech when speaking with people, but I myself am bitter and cunning in my will. What should I do on the day of testing, when God will reveal everything before the Judgment Seat? Great fear constantly crushes my heart, because I am bound by the captivity of my countless iniquities. I myself know that I will be punished there if I do not appease the Judge with tears here. That is why you, O Lord, do not withhold Your bounty in anger, for You Yourself await my conversion; You do not want to see anyone burn in fire, but you want all people to be saved to life. Therefore, trusting in Your mercies, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, I fall before You and beg: look at me and have mercy on me; lead my soul out of the prison of iniquities, and let a ray of light shine in my mind, before I come to a future terrible life for me, where it will be completely impossible to repent of bad deeds. Great fear grips me, poor and prodigal; How can I go completely unprepared and naked from the veil of virtues? Fear and apprehension surround me, for I see that I am not zealous for good, but I am overwhelmed by nasty thoughts, because I listen to demons who, through voluptuousness, trap me in destruction. If I do not denounce my conscience, then in many ways I seem to myself to be good. I am like a careless and lazy merchant who one day loses his wealth and profit. So I, poor thing, lose heavenly blessings among many entertainments that involve me in bad deeds. I feel within myself how I am being robbed every hour and, despite myself, I do what I hate. My evil will surprises me during tribulations, in which it always sins the most. My repentance surprises me - why does it not have a solid foundation for the building of abstinence? Because the enemy of my soul does not allow this. Every day I lay the foundation of the building and with my own hands I again ruin the work. Beautiful repentance has not yet made a good start in me, and there is no end to evil negligence. I am enslaved by weaknesses, at the will of my enemy, diligently doing everything he loves. “Who will give my head water” in inexhaustible abundance, “and let me comb the sources of tears” that would continually flow, “and I weep” (Jer. 9:1) always before the merciful God, so that, having sent His grace to the sinner, He would draw my hourly overwhelmed (troubled) soul from the ferocious sea, troubled by sinful waves. My desires intensified and became like wounds that do not tolerate medical dressings. The harlot wife, being horrified, suddenly turned out to be chaste and zealous, because she hated the deeds of shameful sin, bringing to mind future eternal shame and unbearable torment in punishment. And I, promising every day to lag behind sinful passions, do not lag behind them, but always, foolishly, I adhere to my bad skills. I have the hope of repentance; deceived by a vain promise, I always say: “I will repent,” and to this day I have not repented. In words I only diligently repent, but in deeds I am very far from repenting. I even finally forget my own nature, because I do evil with knowledge and sin out of stubbornness. Esau did not find room for repentance, because he stubbornly attracted sin to himself and sinned not out of passion or delusion, but with knowledge, after admonition, he upset his parents and was not ashamed of God. And Judas the traitor did not find room for repentance, because he sinned while being with the Lord, and knew what he was doing after he saw the experience of grace. Therefore, what should I, poor man, expect in considering my sins committed in knowledge? It is known that only the one who thought something bad is equal to the one who did it. How will I justify myself in my countless iniquities? The boor, who only planned to laugh at his father, is rejected. Korah's accomplices are swallowed up by the earth, although they said and did nothing at all. Those who were under Elijah suffered in the same way. And Saul, having embraced the thoughts of idolatry, was rejected. And Ahithophel, who gave only advice, died in sin. And the sons of Aaron, having sinned, were punished with death. And Sapphira and her husband did not have time to repent for their neglect. Considering my case, I take into account my consent and, expecting the preponderance of justice, I recognize it as clearly fair. Why does the image I have taken upon myself mislead me, when I am alien to virtues, and before God, who watches over everything, I do the opposite? Rightly, the Pharisees suffered reproof from Christ the Savior, Who called their appearance hypocritical. And most often I find myself in such a difficulty, because, convicted by my conscience, I am indignant, and the reproof seems cruel to me. The truth is bitter for those who try to hide. I will reveal my appearance, and worms will appear in me; I will take off the mask of dust from myself, and those around me will see what lies in the tomb, consider the power of my deeds, and notice the Pharisaic likeness. And if this does not become clear here, then “fire will tempt you” at the Judgment, as the Apostle says (1 Cor. 3:13). Extend, Lord, a helping hand to me, who lies in the dust. For I want to get up, but I cannot, the burden of sin has crushed me, and the evil habit is holding me back. I look with my eyes, but I walk as if in darkness; I move my hand as if in deep darkness, and I feel completely relaxed. I am grateful and dissatisfied with myself. I vow to change and fast, but I always meet obstacles; I am zealous for praise, but do not take care to please God. How can I dare to ask for the remission of my previous sins, without in the least forgetting my previous behavior? Or how can I put off the old corrupt man without putting aside the lusts of my former deception? Alas for me! How can I bear the reproof of my lawless deeds and thoughts? “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy, and according to the multitude of Your tender mercies” (Ps. 50:3). Unworthy lips, and an unclean heart, and a soul blackened by sins cry out to You, Master, hear me according to Your goodness, and do not reject my request, because you do not reject the request of the truly repentant. My repentance is not pure, but corrupt. I repent for one hour and grieve You for two. Confirm my request in Thy fear, O Lord; establish my soul on the stone of repentance. May the light of Your grace overcome the darkness that is within me. Descend to my prayer, good Lord, not according to my righteousness, because I have nothing good in myself, but according to Your mercies, according to Your great and unspeakable goodness, raise up my members, crushed by sin, enlighten my heart, darkened by evil lust, save me from every evil deed, so that the enemy does not completely overthrow me. Do not turn Your face away from me and do not say to me: “I say Amen” to you, “I do not know” you (Matthew 25:12). Save the sorrowful soul from death, O Lord, who has power over life and death. For You said, Master: “Ask, and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7). Cleanse me, Lord, from all sin before my death and grant me, O Lover of Mankind, throughout this short life of my heart to shed tears from my heart to cleanse the defilements of my soul, so that here, out of many of my obligations, I can pay at least a few penalties, and there be saved under the protection of Your all-powerful hand, when every soul will tremble before Your terrible glory. To her, Master, Only Begotten Son of God, hear and accept the petition of Thy sinful and unworthy servant, save me tuna, according to Thy grace, because You are a merciful and man-loving God, and we give glory and thanksgiving and worship to You, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and always, and unto the ages of ages! Amen. You might be interested in: