О том, что должно избегать всяких вредных свиданий, и о воздержании

Question: Is it good to take care of someone? Answer: It is a wonderful thing for everyone to be attentive to themselves and do everything according to God, presenting themselves as an example of good deeds for everyone. If you take care of someone, then strictly examine your conscience, whether you are doing this according to God or not; for the wiles of the enemy are many. Therefore, also look at whether you are doing this out of envy, or rivalry, or people-pleasing. But perhaps you will say: “I want to know the difference between one and the other.” Listen, with the assistance of grace. The one who acts out of jealousy and envy is like this: when he sees that another is prospering, while he himself is in difficult circumstances and in sorrows, then, under the guise of piety, he begins to slander the prosperous person, as if he is making bad use of his wealthy position. And the one who works out of love for pleasure is like this: someone else would like (to put it more modestly) to get closer to someone, but his work does not achieve what he wants; meanwhile he sees that that person is not shy with others, and this upsets him, and he begins to speak badly about this, as if under the guise of piety, as if this person does not preserve his chastity; as can be seen in the behavior of some reckless youth who does this to his beloved. But the one who practices man-pleasing is like this: he does evil in secret; in the presence of others who do not know his deeds, he pretends to have zeal for virtue. But he who works according to God, working for his own salvation, will not lay stumbling blocks or temptations for others, but will direct all thoughts and actions towards pleasing the Lord God, who said: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart...”. and “your sincere love as unto yourself” (Matthew 22:37, 39). So, remembering who said: “Test the hearts and bellies, O God” (Ps. 7:10), and: “He will reward everyone according to his deeds” (Rev. 2:23), let us do everything according to God, because “God is not mocked” (Gal. 6:7). If you notice that some thought is drawing you to a date with a boy or woman with a beautiful face, then know that you are approaching the enemy’s snares. If, even after admonition, you do not abandon your intention, then know that you are already entangled in nets, and it is not easy for you to overcome voluptuousness. If you were not able, or, better said, did not want to avoid this harmful encounter, then why doesn’t the enemy actually make you his victim? If you say; “I have dates and do not tolerate harm,” this is also a sign of a passionate soul. For how is it possible to walk on coals without burning your feet? If you see a person who corrupts his chastity, and meanwhile pretends to show himself to be good, then beware of him, because he contains flattery. What good is a tree under which a serpent hides? Apparently the fruits on it are beautiful, but it is a bait for the right one. We are allowed by Providence Himself to eat food ceremoniously, drink carefully, reason without vanity, and sleep on time; but we are not allowed to indulge in fornication, adultery, debauchery and fulfill any other unclean desire. If you want to be chaste, maintain abstinence and stop harmful dates. To the extent that a person approaches that which produces temptation, to that extent it is impossible for his heart to remain without confusion of thoughts and without inflaming evil desires, because a visible face and speech excite him to passion. Just as a sponge, brought to something wet, swells and absorbs moisture, so a person, unsteady in thought, if he gets close or talks for a long time with those who reason according to the flesh, absorbs harm; therefore, having drunk this, he becomes intoxicated even without wine; because it is filled with harmful things, it no longer accepts the spiritual word: the immoderate desire that has occupied and mastered it serves as an obstacle to the spiritual word, blocking its entrance. And if anyone examines this in detail, he will find that the same thing happens not only in the passion of voluptuousness, but in every forbidden activity. As soon as the desire for some thing creeps into the soul through the feelings, it surrounds and besieges it with the idea of ​​this thing, and blocks the entrance of God's word. Like a sponge, if someone dips it in vinegar and, without squeezing it out, wants to pour wine over it, it does not accept wine (because the vinegar liquid that previously entered it serves as an obstacle to the drops of wine being poured); Likewise, fulfilled wishes, when they are admonished, remain disobedient and, if they talk with someone about chastity or are engaged, as they should, in reading about it, they do not lag behind vile passion. Therefore, beginners need to start talking about secret thoughts less often, because the very reminder produces a considerable movement, imparting impurity to the soul and gradually inflaming it and leading it into passion. It is necessary to reveal such thoughts to saints and experienced elders, because those overcome by unbridled passion often, starting to talk about chastity, rush to the destruction and destruction of this virtue. Therefore, anyone who wants to repent must firmly grasp a chaste thought, exhaust the flesh with good labors, and with constant remembrance of God, cleanse the thought of everything bad and vile. Through this our mind is filled with God's grace; But the grace of God, which dwells in the mind and possesses it, becomes a malicious obstacle, blocking their access when they intend to enter. So, having before your eyes your weakness and the creepiness of your mind, you must carefully guard against any harmful encounter and, under the pretext of a pious thought, not put a snare on your soul. And the enemy knows how to induce this; he says: “If this orphan boy, or this orphan girl, would not have perished; I will help them; I will also see the oppressed widow”; and through this he wants to make us zealous for such deeds that we are not able to carry out impeccably. Therefore, one must live with reason and in the fear of God, and with all one’s might strive for silence in the Lord, clearly knowing that there is no gain in spiritual harm. Let us listen to the Apostle, who says: “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12). And the young should not be careless, and the old should not be careless, because the end of both is unknown. Let's look at the farmers: having cultivated the land, they throw the seed and carefully protect the fields during germination, driving away birds and four-legged animals so that they do not pull out and destroy the seed sprouts when they are still weak and tender. But when the seed grows and is ready for harvest, they do not stop worrying, but they are afraid that hail will destroy the field, that locusts will eat the harvest, or that heat or wind will damage the fruits. And therefore they constantly pray, and send their petitions to heaven, so that the Lord will grant them the fruits safe and sound. Then, having gathered the fruits into granaries, they celebrate with great joy. Likewise, those entering spiritual life need to stay awake, sober and guard the Divine seed for God, and not deviate from the goal of love until they bring perfect fruit to the Lord and the body is escorted to the grave. For then the fruit will be faithful and completely safe from being stolen. May the Lord grant us to bear fruits favorable to Him, so that we may find mercy before Him on that terrible and trembling day when He will “reveal” the secrets of darkness and reveal the counsels of the heart. To him be glory, splendor and praise forever and ever. Amen. You might be interested in: