Раздел I. О себе

In which St. Gregory the Theologian in a hidden way encourages us to life in Christ. My King, Christ! You, with the pure hands of Your servant Moses, raised crosswise on the mountain, overthrew the once destructive power of Amalek (Ex. 17:11). You, with the outstretched hands of Daniel, bound the terrible mouths of the lions 5. and the terrible points of their claws in the den (Dan. 6:28–42). Through You, Jonah, praying and stretching out his hands in the belly of the beast, came out of the great whale (Jonah 2:11); and in the Assyrian flame, three courageous youths, as soon as they raised their hands, 10. were covered by a dew-bearing cloud (Dan. 3:50). You Yourself once walked on the boiling sea, pacified the waves and the power of the winds, and brought out disciples overwhelmed by the winds from the sea (Matthew 14:30); You have relieved many souls and bodies from illness; how God, who took upon himself human nature, entered into communication with mortals. 15. And You were God from all eternity, but You appeared to us as a man at last, so that after You Yourself became a man, You could make me a god. Be a merciful God to me, O Blessed One, and save me! Be a merciful God to me and come to the one who calls! Come, merciful God, give me your hand and save me, who suffer from battle, from animals, from flames, from winds and only lift my eyes to the sky! 20. For for me, both beasts, and the fierce wave of the sea, and lamentable warfare, and the desire of scorching fire - all are evil people, destroyers of my life, people who most of all hate those who love God, 25. not fearing the judgment that threatens them later, not respecting people who turn away from the evildoer. Protect me from them, O Christ, and mercifully protect me, covering me with Your wings! Remove from Your servant, O King, burdensome calamities; 30. May my mind not be disturbed by the heavy worries that the world and the ruler of the world arouse in pitiful mortals, like rusting iron and dust, 1 in them turning the god-like image and the best part of man into something akin to dust, 35. So that it is not the soul that delights in grief the dust that gravitates to the earth, but the dust casts down a winged soul to the earth, embodying the unfortunate one with dusty deeds! For mortals two are the gates of terrible death. Some exude from their hearts a muddy stream of sin; they always have harmful things on their minds: 40. carnality, offensive insolence, destructive plans; They, having loved their fate and encouraging themselves to commit every crime, delight in sin. Others, with pure eyes of mind, see God, turn away from insolence - this product of the shameless world, 45. live without sorrows under the shadow of the flesh, trample the earth with accelerated feet, easily following the calling God and the Spirit, and will subsequently shine as the secret places of the hidden life of the King Christ, when it appears in the light. 50. But even they, being tributaries of need, are tempted by the evil thorns of life, and the evil enemy the demon for weak mortals has invented from this thousands of stings of death, often hiding pathetic destruction under a plausible guise in order to catch the opponent; he also prepares a disastrous end for 55. people, just as a fishing rod in the water brings death to fish, which, desiring life, but absorbing only their own destruction, unexpectedly attract a hook into their insides. And this insidious one, since I knew that he was darkness, 60. clothed in a beautiful appearance, approached in the semblance of light, in the hope that I, who loved virtue, would approach vice, when my light mind would be carried away into destruction. I was not bound by marriage - this stream of life, these bonds, the heaviest of all, which substance imposes on people as the beginning of work. 65. I was not captivated by the beautiful waves of silk clothes; I did not like long meals, I did not like to satiate the gluttonous belly - this destructive mother of carnivory; I didn’t like living in huge and magnificent houses; I did not relax my heart with musical sounds that gently shook my ears; 70. I was not intoxicated by the luxurious evaporation of fragrant ointments. And I provided silver and gold to others who, sitting above countless wealth, love to indulge in worries and find little pleasure for themselves, but a lot of work. For me a piece of bread is pleasant, I have a sweet seasoning - salt, and the table is prepared without labor 75. and a sober drink - water. My best wealth is Christ, who continually raises my mind to grief, and not fields sown with wheat, not beautiful groves, not herds of oxen or fat sheep, not dear servants - one race with me, but separated from me by ancient torment, 80. which imposed on those born of the same earth (earth or God) a double designation - nobility and slavery, which was confirmed by the unkind law. I have no need for insignificant honor, which passes faster than a spilling breath, and quick-perishing glory; 85. It is not important for me to receive awards from the king at court; I have never been seduced by the desire for a judicial seat, on which, sitting majestically, I could raise my eyebrows high; It is not important for me to have power in cities or among citizens, to amuse myself with the most false and insignificant dreams, 90. which come one after another and fly away, or to grab a passing stream with my hands, like something solid, to catch a shadow and squeeze it with my hands, to stretch out my hands to the fog and touch it. Such is the human race, such is human happiness: it is like the most inconspicuous traces of a ship, 95. which are cut in front and disappear behind! One glory was pleasant for me - to be distinguished by the knowledge that the East and West and the beauty of Hellas - Athens had collected; I worked on this a lot and for a long time. But all this knowledge, casting it down, I laid at the feet of Christ, 100. so that they yielded to the Word of the great God, which overshadows every contemplation 2 and varied word of the human mind. But, having avoided something else, I did not escape the incredible enmity of the enemy, who with a friendly face plots intrigues for me. I will frankly tell everyone my misfortune, 105. so that others can be saved from the tricks of the reptile beast. Serving my parents, who were burdened with old age and severe sorrow, because of their children I was the only one left - a faint hope, a small flicker of a great luminary that no longer exists - serving my parents, I thought to do what was pleasing to You and Your laws, my King Christ, 110. because You, Blessed One, give children to mortals, so that they may have help in them and with them, like a rod, they can support their trembling limbs. And of all those who honor You, my parents are especially concerned about piety; having escaped the danger of a sorrowful life, 115. they tied their ship to Your pure commandments. You are the beginning and the end for them. My mother, having inherited the godly faith from their fathers, put this golden chain on her children. In a female form, bearing a male heart, 120. she only touches the earth and takes care of the world, so that everything, including the very life here, can be transferred to heavenly life and grief soar on light wings. And the parent before, serving idols, was a wild olive, but was grafted onto the stem of a good olive 125. and he absorbed so much of the juices of the noble root that he covered the tree and nourished many with honey-bearing fruits; he is gray in hair and gray in mind, friendly, sweet-tongued; this is the new Moses or Aaron, 130. mediator between people and the heavenly God; immaculate internally, through pure secret teachings and our sacrifices, which temper the mind, he brings mortals and the great immortal God into communication. From such a parent and from such a mother I came. It is impossible to compete with them; but the fact that they compete with each other does not bother me. 135. Taking care of them and facilitating their labors, I fed my mind with hopes that I was doing the most useful thing, fulfilling the duty of nature. But there is no doubt that the path of the wicked is full of destruction, because out of good things came evil for me. 140. Incessant and heavy worries, day and night, consuming soul and body, bring me down from heaven to my mother - the earth. Firstly, ruling servants is a true net of destruction. They always hate cruel rulers, 145. and shamelessly trample on the God-fearing; They are not lenient towards the evil, they are disobedient towards the good, but they breathe unreasonable anger towards both. And besides this, you must take care of your property, always have the royal burden [of taxes] on your shoulders, and endure the strong threats of the tax collector; 150. because the tax, increasing with the property, lowers the price of freedom itself for people, and bonds lie on the lips. One must spend time among the excitement of a crowded assembly, near the high seats from which human disputes are decided, one must listen to the loud objections of the enemy 155. or, according to the law, endure sorrows in tangled networks. This is the burden, this is the work! And the evil take advantage over the good; guardians of the laws can be bought by either side. And if the evil one has more wealth, then he is the best. Who, with such people, 160. without God’s help, will avoid many lies and intricacies? For it is necessary either to flee headlong and leave everything evil, or to blacken one’s heart, just as one who approaches the evil breath of a destructive fire bears on himself the sad signs of either flame or smoke. 165. But this is still tolerable. My wound is more painful. After my half-brother left life, how much I endured, and how much I hope to endure! Anyone who has encountered unexpected losses no longer expects anything better. During my brother’s life, I also had some fame among people; 170. But wealth or power have never captured my heart. And as soon as he died, I alone endure sorrows and sorrows. Of the estates that the brother owned, some were swallowed up by the opening earth, when he himself was covered with the ruins of Nicaea, and others the demon gave over to plunder at the hands of worthless people; 175. Only he himself, buried under rubble, escaped death, because the heavenly God stretched out His hand over the house in which he was. O my Caesarea - venerable name! You then shone like a morning star at the royal court, taking first place in wisdom and meek disposition, 180. having many strong friends and comrades; for many you invented cures for serious bodily ailments; with his good deeds he saved many from poverty; but now you have died and fed many dogs, which surround me from everywhere and bark, and none of my relatives gives me help. 185. Few love me, and they love me like enemies; they respect you when they haven’t received anything yet, but when they do, they hate you. So from a tall, spreading oak tree, torn by the forces of the wind, here and there, branches are stolen from all around; so from a vast vineyard, whose fence was destroyed, 190. passing travelers collect the grapes without mercy, and a single boar grazing in the forests harms him with his teeth. And for me it’s a lot of tearful work; I don’t have the strength in my hand to satiate or drive everyone away. Since then, like the first time, having renounced the worldly things, 195. I gave up my soul to bright heavenly thoughts, and the lofty mind, having captured me from here, placed me far from the flesh, hid it in the hidden places of the heavenly tabernacle, illuminated my eyes with the light of the Trinity, more luminous than Which the thought did not represent anything more luminous to me, the Trinity, 200. Which from the exalted throne pours out on everyone the common and ineffable radiance, Which is the beginning of everything that is separated from the highest by time - from then on, I say, I died for the world, and the world died for me. I am a breathing dead man; my power is an ending dream; my life in another world; I sigh under the plump flesh, 205. which the wise beautifully call the darkness of the mind. Having renounced this life, from the darkening vision, from everything that, creeping on the earth, wanders and misleads, I wish to penetrate 3 more purely into the constant, so that not in a mixture (as usual hitherto) with unclear images, 210. with which the vision of even the sharpest mind is deceived, but with pure eyes to see the truth itself. However, this is possible later; and what is here is worthless smoke or dust for the one who exchanged this life for a great life, earthly life for an exalted life, a fleeting life for a permanent life. 215. That’s why everyone attacked me; they don’t want to leave me, hurrying as if they were ready prey. Alas, alas, my Caesarea! And you are a handful of dust, you, who reflected all worries from me, gave me the opportunity to avoid every burden, honored my brother like no one else, 220. respected me like someone else respects his beloved father! But I do not so much lament the loss of property, which I wanted to make the common property of those in need, because I myself am a stranger and a wanderer here and leave everything to the hand of the Almighty, the giver of blessings; 225. I’m not so much complaining about an insult that is hateful to every mortal, although it can most likely lead to anger in a meek person; I do not so much mourn for my half-blooded ones, whom the coffin hides from me, kidnapping them prematurely, when they aroused the surprise of all earthly beings, as I cry for my soul, for I see 230. that this beautiful and great queen, the daughter of noble kings, is exhausted under the weight of insoluble shackles. Her enemies captured her by force of arms and subjected her to difficult slavery; and she lowers her sad eyes to the ground. Such is my suffering; This is the wound that I carry in my heart! 235. There is an ancient legend that if an evil viper sets its teeth and inflicts a destructive wound, the wounded person will only willingly tell about it to the person into whom the merciless viper with its scorching poison poured the same destruction, because only such a person knows the unbearability of pain. 240. So I will tell about my torment only to those who have the same love with me, the same suffering and similar sorrow. Only he will accept my story with love, will want to know the best secrets of a tearful heart, who, having desired to lift the burden of the cross on his shoulders and having his part in the fence of the great King, prefers the straight path and is compassionate towards the fallen. But I would excite laughter by telling others about my sorrows, especially in whom faith has been slightly imprinted on the surface of the heart, 250. into whose interior strong love for the King has not penetrated, who lives on earth, thinking only about what is temporary. But let such people perish, because at everyone, both good and evil, they equally sharpen their tongue - this prepared arrow! But I will not stop lamenting until I have escaped the deplorable enslavement to sin, 255. until I have closed with the key of the mind the insane passions to which the cruel Satan has now opened all the entrances, although they did not have access to me before, when God’s hand covered me, and sin did not have such a substance nearby that would easily and quickly ignite, like straw not only ignites when the fire approaches, 260. but also blows up. wind, forms a tall pillar of flame. I should first of all hide my flesh in abysses, mountains and cliffs; there, running from everything, from this life itself, from all worldly and carnal worries, living alone far from people, I would carry the whole Christ in my heart, 265. lifting up a pure mind to the one God, until death would ease me, coming along with the fulfillment of hopes. That's how it should be! But my love for my dear parents held me back; she pulled me to the ground like a weight; not even so much love, 270. as pity - this most pleasant of all passions, penetrating the entire inside and all the composition of the bones, pity for the godlike gray hair, pity for grief, pity for childlessness, pity for caring for a son, with which, constantly indulging in sweet labors, they tremble for him, as for the eye of their life and as for one burdened with sorrows. 275. The subject of his studies was formerly the books which the Spirit wrote in the language of holy men, and also from good writing the grace of the Spirit shining forth, and the hidden benefit revealed by one who is purified. He enjoyed prayers, sighs, sleepless nights, 280. angel-like faces that, standing on their feet, call upon God in psalms and songs, lifting up their hearts to Him, sending out common praises from many lips. He was pleased with the exhaustion of the culprit of evil - the belly, the moderation of laughter, the immobility of the tongue and eyes, the curbing of violent anger. And the mind restrained the wandering thought, looking everywhere, and turned it to Christ with heavenly hopes; the mind stood above everything, raising the image to the King. And God was pleased with such a desire. Instead of wealth and unbearable noise, 290. which disturbs me in my dreams at night (because the ghosts of the night are like the worries of the day), I had before my eyes the radiance of God, the radiant countenance and the glory of the souls of the pious. 295. But now in my soul, which formerly loved to talk with all the virtuous, all the decorations have perished, but inner desire and hopeless sorrow remain. I cry about this and clearly don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Will God lead me back to the old rules of life, freeing me from sorrows and removing all the burdens from me, 300. or before I see a clear sky, before a plaster is applied to the wounds, will he cast me out of here, immersed in sorrow, an unfortunate person who desires light after a deep night? Then who will help those who mourn in vain? Here is medicine for people, and in the end everything will be concluded. 305. My gray head and wrinkled body have already bowed to the evening of my sorrowful life. But I have never experienced such strong and numerous sorrows before. I did not suffer so much when, setting out for Achaia from the Pharos land, I met the sea, stormed by fierce winds 310. with the rise of the autumn calf 4, which swimmers are especially afraid of, and few of them dare to untie the ship's rope in front of it. For twenty days and nights I lay on the stern of the ship, calling in prayers to the God reigning in the heavens; a foamy wave, 315. similar to mountains and cliffs, hit the ship from one side or the other and often fell into it; the gusty wind whistling in the ropes shook all the sails; the ether in the clouds turned black, lit up with lightning and vibrated everywhere from strong strikes of thunder. 320. Then I surrendered myself to God and got rid of the furious sea, pacified by holy vows. I did not suffer so much even when the foundations of the vast and trembling Hellas were shaking, there was no relief in sight in disaster, and I trembled because my soul 325. was not yet sanctified by a heavenly gift, for the grace and illumination of the Spirit are attracted to people by the font 5 . I was not so afraid when illness filled my mouth with its devouring breath, constricted the passages of breathing and the paths of life; and while, in the darkness of my mind, twirling the rod, 330. I wounded and bloodied the curved corner of my eyelash, like a murderer, I lost the light for myself; great crying followed a cruel mistake, and I could not offer a spiritual sacrifice to God with my own hands until I washed away the damage with tears, 335. because it is dangerous for the unclean to touch the pure, as well as to direct a weak eye to the fiery sun. I have suffered many disasters. Who will recount all the ways in which God called me, burdening His hand on me, and favoring me? But until now I have never encountered such misfortunes as those that finally struck my ill-fated 340. soul. She would like to see someday the day of freedom, stripped of everything and naked, to avoid the fire, the capture of the powerful world, the monstrous mouth of the serpent, which is ready to swallow what it catches with its mouth; 345. and my mind is sweet food for beliar. Who will give my head or eyelids a flowing source, so that with streams of tears I can cleanse all filth, how much should I mourn my sins? For for mortals and for blackened souls the best medicine is tears, 350. burnt ashes and sackcloth that is safe on earth. Let everyone, looking at me, come into awe, acquire new strength to flee from the black land of Egypt, and the bitter deeds there, and the king of Pharaoh, and march to the divine fatherland! Let him not remain a captive on the barren plains of Babylon, 355. sit on the banks of the river, putting aside all the song organs and bursting into tears (see: Ps. 137:1), but hasten to the borders of the holy land, having escaped the Assyrian slave yoke, which had burdened him hitherto, and lay with his own hands the foundation of the great church! 360. Since I, the unfortunate one, left this sacred land, the desire to return there has not ceased in me; painful suffering has plunged me into old age, my eyes are cast down to the ground, sorrow grows in my heart, 365. I am ashamed of mortals and the immortal King; such is my clothing and such is my heart that I dare neither lift up my eyes nor open my lips. By my poverty alone I attract to myself the mercy of the King, Who, being kind to all earthly beings, rejects the arrogant. Evil robbers, as it is narrated, having caught one traveler who was going from the holy city of Jerusalem to the famous town of Jericho, inflicted many insults on him, wounded him all, inflicting inglorious blows, 370. took off the clothes that covered him and, out of cruelty, left him barely breathing. Soon other travelers found him, but the Levite and the priest passed by without showing mercy; when a Samaritan approached, he took pity on the poor man, 375. He took him, tied up the scabs, and left medicine for the wounds and payment for the caregiver (Luke 10:30–35). It is very strange why the Samaritan, seeing him, took pity, but those who were better than the Samaritan did not take pity. I don’t know clearly what is hidden under this image 380. and what secrets God hides in His wisdom. But may He have mercy on me in this! And I was subjected to the same calamities. The hater of souls, the thief of life, tormented me in a similar way when I left the sacred city; and he deprived me of the grace of Christ, and left me naked, as before Adam - the cause of dust and fall, 385. when eating brought him down to the earth from which he came. But have mercy on me, O King; save me from death, whom the priests abandoned when they saw him exhausted; having led me into the house prepared for everyone, bind my scabs and, when my strength was restored, we went again to the holy city, where I could again be safe; 390. protect from evil robbers, from the difficult path, from wounds and from those passing by who have a merciless heart, although they boast of piety! Two people, as I hear, entered the church: a Pharisee who thought highly of himself, as if he were more pleasing to God than everyone else, and a tax collector, 395. whose heart was crushed internally by repentance for unrighteous gains. One listed in detail the fasts, legal tithes, compared himself with the ancient men and reproached the publican with the words; and the other, bursting into tears, striking his chest with his hands, 400. not daring to even raise his eyes to the throne of the great God, that is, to the wide sky, and not looking at anyone with his servile eyes, but standing in the distance, he prayed and cried out: “Be merciful, have mercy on Your servant, burdened with sins! Neither the law, nor tithes, nor good works will save me; 405. And he who reproaches does not lie; I am ashamed of the church, because I touch it with non-venerable feet. But let Your grace, Your mercy be poured out on me, defiled; Give this one hope, O King, to the pitiful lawless people.” That's what they said. God heard both of them and had mercy on the one who 410. turned out to be exhausted, but put the one who was loquacious into nothing (Luke 18:10-14). As You saw, so You judged them, my God, Who also gives me courage, because before You I am the same wicked publican, I sigh just as heavily and trust only in Your help. If my father and venerable mother 415. repaid You for me with tears, sighs and prayers; if they gave You even a small part of their wealth, honored You with pure and holy sacrifices (and I myself did nothing that would be worthy of You), then I beg you: remember them and help me. Remove evil worries from me, 420. so that the thorns do not overwhelm me with their branches and stop me from moving along the divine path. You, my protection, see me through unharmed, for I am Your servant, I am Your heritage, You are the only God for me from the beginning, My mother dedicated me to You, 425. carrying me while still in her womb. Then, wanting to hold her son on her knees and imitating the sacred Anna, she cried out: “My King, Christ! Grant me to see my son, and You will enclose the young fruit of my womb in Your fence.” So she spoke; and God heeded her prayer; in a dream sent down from God 430. my mother was given my name; and then You gave her a son, and she brought me to Your sanctuaries - the new Samuel, if only I was ever Samuel. And now I am numbered with the vile and arrogant sons of Your illustrious servant Eli, who with a foolish heart approached pure sacrifices, 435. touching the sacred cauldrons with greedy hands, for which they had an unhappy end to their lives (1 Samuel 4:17). But my mother, with the best hopes, separated for You a portion of those born by her. She cleansed my hands with Divine books and, hugging me, said the following word to me: 440. “Someone has already brought to the altar his beloved, God-given son, ready to become a sacred sacrifice. The best father brought a good son, the fruit of Sarah, who gave birth late, and the root of the offspring that the hope and promise of God outlined. Abraham was a priest, and Isaac was a glorious lamb. 445. And I, as I promised, bring you to God - a living gift: fulfill your mother’s desire. You were born to me through my prayers; This is what I now pray for, that you may be perfect. I give this good wealth to you, my son, for this and for the future life; but the latter is much better.” 450. This is the desire of the mother; and I submitted to her desires, while still a youth; my young soul accepted a new image of piety; the seal was observed at the behest of Christ, who clearly conversed with His servant, bound me with the love of chastity, bridled my flesh, 455. breathed into me an ardent love for Divine wisdom and for monastic life - the firstfruits of the future life, for a life that does not seek a rib that would love its flesh, but with flattering words leads to a bitter taste, for a life that brings pure love as a gift to God and does not separate what is born entirely of God between the wife 460. and Christ, Who, through narrow and difficult paths, through narrow and not for many, a passable gate, with solemn accompaniment, brings me to God - a god created from the earth, and not born and from a mortal who became immortal - brings, 465. with the great image of God, attracting my assistant - the body, just as a magnet stone attracts black iron. Alas! What a grievous vengeance you have suffered, my soul! Vainglorious mortals, we have truly become like a light breath of wind; 470. or, like the rushing stream of Euripus to and fro, inflated by the emptiness, we revolve on the earth. Neither bad nor good - nothing is completely the same among people. The paths of good and evil go very close to each other; and the evil one does not know how he will end up later, 475. and the good one does not stand firmly in virtue; but just as vice is weakened by fear, so virtue is weakened by envy. And Christ desires that our one-day race should fight with both, so that we, looking at His power, would fix our eyes on grief. With us, he is perfect who walks the straight path, 480. does not look around at the ashen desert of Sodom, devoured by the destructive fire for insolence, but quickly runs to the mountain and forgets about the fatherland, out of fear, so as not to become a proverb and a salt stone (Gen. 19:26). With my own passions I testify to human corruption. 485. When I was a youth and had some understanding in my chest, then, following some hidden reason and laudable customs, I ascended the mountain to the luminous throne and walked along the royal path with not wandering feet. But now, when I have gathered my wits and am already touching the limit of life, 490. as if from ecstasy my feet became hard, and I, the unfortunate one, are carried first to the right, then to the left 6 ; I am exhausted by the battle with the reptile serpent; she secretly and obviously steals every well-thought-out thought from me. When I stretch my mind to God, I am again drawn into the thin unity of the world; 495. and not a small part of my soul was distorted by the troubled world. But although black sin covered me with itself, although my enemy, like a cuttlefish spewing out its blackness onto the waters, clearly poured out dark poison on me, 500. however, I can still make out and examine so much that I see in the best way: who I am, what I want to achieve and where I am, unfortunate, how many times have I fallen to the ground or into the abysses opened under the earth. I am not deluded by convictions, I am not captivated by words invented in defense of passions, 505. I am not consoled by measuring the vices of others, as the most perfect in comparison with others. Is it pleasant for a patient who is being cut with an iron to see that others are also being cut and that they feel even more severe pain? What is the gain of a wicked man because another is more wicked than himself? He who is distinguished by kindness can benefit both the good and the bad, 510. because the sighted is gain for the blind. But to take pleasure in seeing the vicious is a sign of even greater depravity. If someone considers me good when I am bad, it is hard for me, and I internally shed secret tears. It is better, being good, in the opinion of others to remain bad, 515. than, being bad, to have the glory of good and to be for people a deceptive tomb, which inside is full of the stench of rotting dead, and outside shines with whiteness and colors pleasing to the eye (see: Matt. 23:27). Let us fear the great Eye, which sees both underground and in the great depths of the sea, sees everything that is hidden 520. in the human mind. Before him nothing divides time; for God everything is real. How could anyone hide their iniquity from Him? Where will we hide ourselves on the last day? Who will help then? Where will we hide from God’s eye when the deeds of everyone are discerned by the purifying fire, devouring the light and dry nature of sin? 525. I fear this sin and tremble day and night, seeing how the soul falls from God to the earth, drawing closer and closer to the dust that I wanted to avoid. Thus, on the banks of an autumn river, a proud pine tree or an evergreen plane tree, 530. being undermined by its roots, was destroyed by a neighboring stream. First, he shook all the supports and placed a tall tree on the rapids, and then tilted it towards the river, still supported by thin roots, and, 535. tearing it off the rapids, threw it into the middle of the whirlpool, dragged it with great noise and gave it to the stones, where the rain beats incessantly; and now, a stump rotted from dampness and worthless lies near the shore. And my soul, blooming for Christ the King, 540. was attacked by a greedy, indomitable enemy, brought it down to the ground and destroyed most of it; and the little that remains wanders here and there. Oh, if God would resurrect her again, Who created those who do not exist, and then He will recreate those who were destroyed and bring them to another life, 545. so that they would meet either fire or the luminous God! But will everyone subsequently meet God? We will postpone this question until another time. My King, Christ! Although hostile people call me dead and powerless, they secretly mock me, nodding their heads, laughing at my misfortune, 550. but do not leave me to fall under the blows of my opponents. And first of all, strengthen me again in heavenly hopes, and for me, who is fading, for me, the thirsty lamp in the lamp, give a little moisture, a few drops of oil, so that when the fire ignites, 555. the renewed light in me will again flow and I will be honored with a bright life. And secondly, remove every burden from me and give it to the stormy winds, and grant me a light breeze. You have sufficiently humbled my heart. Do You punish me for bitter sin, or do You tame me with sorrows, as one tames a young horse, 560. driving me through impassable places, or do You stop the exaltation of my mind, since it is very conveniently born in those of the pious who have a light mind and turn the very goodness of God into a reason for arrogance, or through my misfortunes, my Savior is the Word, 565. Do You want to enlighten mortals, so that they hate the vicious life, which is fickle, leads to the death of everyone, both good and evil, and hasten to another life, to a permanent one, unentertained, and for the pious, better; but in the great depths of Your wisdom this is hidden, 570. what the lessons taught to mortals mean in the continuation of a perverse life, both good and sorrowful, in any case the most useful, although this is mostly hidden from the stupidity of our minds. You wisely move the helm of the world, wherever you turn it; and it is only through this that we are saved from dangerous cliffs, swimming across the great sea of ​​fickle life filled with pitfalls. 575. But I, weary and crushed by all kinds of calamities, bow my knees before You. Send Lazarus to me, who would rather cool the tongue withered in the flame with a moistened finger; and I, rich in suffering, would not have been held back any longer by the abyss 580. and would not have been placed far from Abraham’s bosom (see: Luke 16:26). Extend Your powerful hand over me, give me a cure for sorrows, show me all the previous miracles, all the power of signs. Say it, and the bloody current will immediately dry up. 585. Say, and the spirit of the legion will ascend into a herd of swine, cast into the sea and retreat from me (see: Mark 5:9). Remove the intolerable leprosy (see: Luke 5:13); let the light penetrate the unseeing eyes; let the ears hear the voice (Mark 7:32–37); spread out my dry hand (Matthew 12:10); loosen the bonds of the tongue (see: Matthew 9:33); 590. strengthen the weak feet of the feet (Acts 3:7); be satisfied with a little bread (Matthew 14:17–21); tame the terrible sea (Mark 4:39); shine brighter than the sun (Matthew 17:2); strengthen your burdened forces; raise him from the dead who stinks (John 11:39); and, 595. seeing me hitherto as a barren fig tree, do not wither up (Matthew 21:19). Others rely on something else - on the nobility of blood, on dust and real pomp; they are looking for some insignificant helper. I alone am left to You alone, 600. King of kings, to You, who rules over all! You are my greatest strength! I do not have a caring wife who would save me from incurable worries and heal the mourning person with her caresses. Dear children, in whose presence old age is encouraged and again begins to walk in youthful steps, do not amuse me. 605. Neither my half-bloods nor my friends console me: some were kidnapped by cruel death, others, loving calm weather, are in awe at the slightest disturbance that overtakes a friend. I had one wonderful consolation. Like a thirsty deer in a cool spring, so I found him in the community of perfect 610. and Christ-bearing men, living on earth above the flesh, lovers of the eternal Spirit and good service, not bound by the bonds of marriage, despisers of the world. But they, too, fighting for You, were divided and stand one for one thing, the other for another; 615. The jealousy of God unlawfully dissolved the law and the agreement of love, of which only one name remained. Just as someone, fleeing from a lion, runs into a fierce bear and, having escaped from the bear, joyfully takes refuge in the house and leans his hand on the wall, but there a snake unexpectedly strikes him (Amos 5:18–19), 620. So I, who have escaped many sufferings, have no cure for disasters. Whatever I encounter is more painful than before. Everywhere I seek help and, everywhere burdened by You, I turn my eyes to You again, Blessed One, to You, my help, to You, Almighty, Unborn, Beginning and Father of the Beginning - 625. immortal Son, great Light of equal Light, Who, according to unsearchable laws, proceeds from the One into the One; to You, Son of God, Wisdom, King, Word, Truth, Image of the Prototype, Nature equal to the Parent, Shepherd, Lamb, Sacrifice, God, Man, Bishop; to You, 630. The Spirit emanating from the Father, the Light of our mind, coming to the pure and making man God! Have mercy on me; grant me, both here in my old age and in the future life, when I enter into communion with the entire Divinity, to joyfully praise You with non-silent chants! I swore by the Word itself 7, Which for me is the highest God, the Beginning from the Beginning - from the immortal Father, the Image of the Prototype, the nature equal to the Father, God, who came from heaven and entered human life, 5. - I swore, neither with a mind that conceived enmity, not to humiliate the great Mind, nor with an alien word - the Word. And if, following the suggestions of the godless times, I began to dissect the Divinity of the Most Blessed Trinity; 10. if my mind were deceived by a high throne or if I gave my hand to the seeking of others; if I had preferred a mortal helper to God, having tied my ship to a fragile stone; if in happiness I had become proud in heart, or if again, having encountered adversity, I had become despondent in spirit; 15. if I began to judge the court, deviating in any way from the law; if I gave preference to human pride over the monks; if, seeing how the evil enjoy the silence, and the good are dashed against the rocks, I deviate from the right path; if envy dried up my heart; 20. if I laughed at the fall of others, although not saints, as if I myself were standing with an immovable leg; if my mind had fallen from the increased bile; if the tongue ran unbridled and the lustful eye carried away the heart; if I hated someone in vain; if I began to take revenge on my enemy insidiously or openly; if I had sent the beggar away from me 25. empty-handed or with a heart thirsty for a heavenly word, then may Christ be merciful to another, and not to me; May my labors blow away in the wind right up to my gray hairs! I have bound my life to such laws. 30. And if I achieve the end of what I want, then by Your grace, Imperishable One! 3. On the good journey from Constantinople 8 In You, God's Word, we rest at home; We dedicate our leisure time to you; You are my seat; You are my awakening and my standing; You are also my procession. And now, at Your behest, I walk the straight path. But send me some kind of guiding angel, a successful representative, who would lead me with a pillar of fire and cloud, cut through the sea, stop the rivers with a word, abundantly feed me with heavenly and earthly bread, depicting a cross with his hands, curb the insolence of enemies, do not burn me with heat at noon, do not cause me fear at night! And make the uneven and steep path for me, Your servant, smooth and passable, as you have repeatedly covered it with Your hand, on land and sea, You saved me from dangers, from cruel diseases and from everything hostile, so that, having done everything successfully and in accordance with my hopes, then having received a happy end to the journey, I would return again to friends and relatives and would be joyfully greeted at home by the rejoicing, and Having calmed down from labor, I bowed to You, praying that my final path would be calm and easy! Let the Trinity be preached, and let someone else reconcile people, as it should. I leave the throne, but I will not stop speaking to God. 5. To the church people of the Church of Anastasia 9 I wish, I wish you, dearest, I do not deny, I wish my words giving birth, O my dear people of Anastasia, who once before died from dead words, 5. From here my word came out like a spark, declaring the whole Church as light, so that now the old faith could be restored with new verbs. Who now has my beauty, who has my thrones? How did I become childless in the presence of living children? 10. Glory to You Father! If something bad happens, then equally punish my daring, but who then will sing You as well as possible, Trinity? The roads of Zion mourn, they wish for the law-worshipping people on holidays, I also mourn, not seeing the people flocking to my speeches, as was once the custom. 5. Constantinople [all flocked] and from other places there were those for whom the Trinity, dear to me, shone. And now I, like a roaring lion, indulge in lamentations. My children were kidnapped by others, attacking suddenly and captivating them with plausible speeches. 10. But if my cry reaches You - Trinity, as before, and I cry out to You again, then make sure that these animals quickly run away. 7. Congratulations to the unfriendly Finally, I have died to envy, fellow priests! Now both in the East and in the West, among enemies and among friends, the envy of me has ended. I left; tell me a kind word; at least I will tell everyone my farewell words. If you find someone else to take my place, read him. The Spirit is venerable to me, His protector. But now I am no longer the mediastinum of abuse. Trinity, save me, and again I cry to You, Trinity! You were clearly traded for envy. People, laws, meals, pulpits, thrones, words - defenders of true dogmas. 5. How is this? What is this? And where did the flowing rivers of my God, the most powerful Spirit, having raised an alien people beautifully, then melting the flesh with many deeds, flow away? Applaud the audience, both the one who waters and those who thirst for the word have died. If you return any of them to me, my Christ, then you will return great things, but if not, then I thank you for that. I passed, I came, I go. I have a mixture of joy and fear, I feel in the depths of my soul whether I owe You anything, my Christ, but rather I walk like an animal pursued in this life, 5. especially by enemies and friends, by joint sacrifices and resistances [against each other], it is better to fall into your hands than to suffer in the clutches of envy. For I no longer hope for anything good. To die with the worst is a great gain. 10. Rejoice, be filled [with your belly], be proud of your dreams, for you will rejoice little, and I will be a partaker of error, I will not shy away. 10. To the priests of Constantinople and to Constantinople itself Priests making bloodless sacrifices and servants of the great Unity in the Trinity! Laws! Kings adorned with piety! The famous city of the great Constantine, 5. younger Rome, as superior to other cities as the starry sky is to the earth! I appeal to your piety. What did envy do to me? Why did you separate me from the sacred children, who labored for a long time, illuminated them with heavenly 10. teachings and poured out a stream for them from a stone? What kind of justice is there in this? It was my work, I was in danger, imprinting piety in the city for the first time; and now another rejoices his heart with my labors, having unexpectedly ascended to someone else’s throne, 15. to which I was elevated by God and God’s good servants. These are the consequences of a terrible disease! This is what God’s servants did, harboring lamentable enmity towards each other, O my King Christ! not friendly to me; because I am not a daring warrior, I did not adhere to either side, 20. I did not want to prefer anything to Christ. My sin is that I have not sinned in anything, like others, and, like a small ship, I do not enter into battle with a ship that is heavily laden. For this I am also hated by frivolous people, who did not piously open this sanctuary to friends - saints of the times. 25. But may this be covered with deep oblivion! And I, moving away from here, will be consoled by tranquility, leaving the royal court, the city, and the priests just as willingly as I previously wished for this, when God called me with night visions, 30. and the terrifying insurances of the cold sea. Therefore, I rejoice that I escaped envy, and after a great storm I tie the rope in a quiet harbor. There, delighting the heart with pure ideas of the mind, I will also offer silence as a gift, just as I brought the word before. 35. Such is the word of Gregory, who was raised by Cappadocia and who stripped himself of everything for Christ! 11. A poem in which Saint Gregory retells his life The purpose of this word is to depict the course of my misfortunes, and perhaps the happy circumstances of life, because one will call them this way, another another, in whatever mood I think he will be in. 5. And our arbitrariness is an unreliable measure in court. Measured speech, while entertaining, heals from sorrow, and serves young people as both a lesson and a delight - in a word, a pleasant instruction. And my word is to you, once mine, but now strangers to me - to you, 10. both those of the same faith with me, and those who think wrongly, if there are any; because everyone became favorably disposed toward me as soon as I closed my lips. You, eminent eye of the universe, inhabitants, as far as I see, of the new world, clothed with the beauties of land and sea, 15. you, newly created Rome, fatherland of new celebrities, city of Constantines and pillar of the Power! Listen to the most undeceitful man, who in many upheavals in life, where much is learned, has suffered a lot of work. 20. Everything decays, even the beautiful decays over time; the remainder is either nothing or very little. Where the earth has been washed away by the rapid flow of heavy rains, only small stones remain; 25. Therefore, it is not at all surprising if I say the same about ordinary people, who were not among the good before, but were like dumb ones, drooping in the earth. The terrible ravine, pitted with abysses, is us, that is, ours, who have forgotten our rank, class (I say this with tears); it is we who sit on high thrones not for good; 30. We, the leaders of the people, are teachers of beauty; we, who have been given the destiny to feed souls with divine food, but who ourselves are dying of hunger; we, doctors of infirmities and at the same time dead men, constantly infecting us with new and new ailments; we, guides along paths that may be precipitous, 35. along paths along which no one has ever been led, not even walked by ourselves; we, not to follow which is the shortest rule and together the lesson that most directly leads to salvation; we, whom this elevation 11 denounces of bad morals, and this lattice 12 separates from others not by life, but by arrogance. 40. But why did I decide to convey this to the word, when I do not like to divulge much without a good reason, let everyone hear it now and in subsequent times. And the story about the circumstances of my life, although it will require a long word, it is necessary to start a little higher, 45. so as not to allow false speeches about me to gain strength, because evil people like to blame the victims for the fact that they themselves did something bad to them, in order to cause them even more harm with this lie, and save themselves from accusations. 50. And let this be an introduction to the word. My father was a wonderful and very kind old man, simple in character, a model for life, a true patriarch, a second Abraham. His virtues were real, and not imaginary, as we see today. 55. Before he lived in error, and then he became a friend of Christ, then he became a shepherd, and even some kind of power of shepherds. My mother, to put it briefly, was in no way inferior to such a husband, his talent was equal to him, coming from pious parents, at first she surpassed him in piety 60. and in body only she was a woman, but in morals she was superior to men. Both of them were a common subject of conversation for everyone throughout their lives. How will I confirm my word when announcing the following? As a witness to what I am telling, I will present her - my parent, these lips of truth. 65. It was her custom that it was better to hide the obvious than to boast about the hidden out of love of fame. And in this she was guided by a great mentor - fear. She, wanting to see the birth of a male child in her house, which, of course, is desired for many, 70. revealed her desire to God and asked to fulfill it. And as her heart was uncontrollable, anticipating the gift with zeal, she gives God the gift she wanted to receive. And therefore the dear vow was not left unfulfilled; 75. The favorable beginning of this was a vision that showed her the shadow of what she wanted - both my image and my name clearly appeared to her. And this gift of the night became a reality, because I was born to them. And if I am worthy of the vow, 80. it is a gift from God who gave me. And if I don’t live up to my vow, it’s my sin. So I entered into this life; so I, unfortunate one, became associated with clay and with this composition, which control me and which I can hardly control myself! At the very least, one cannot help but be grateful that 85. I received such a birth as a guarantee of everything beautiful. And as soon as I entered the world, I immediately became alien to it, and alienated beautifully, because I was dedicated as a gift to God, like a lamb or a beloved calf, 90. a noble and reasonable sacrifice, I will hesitate to speak, like the new Samuel, unless I say this out of respect for the jealousy of those who offered me as a gift. Raised from the shrouds in everything beautiful, because I had the most perfect models for myself at home, 95. then I still acquired some kind of senile sedateness; and like cloud to cloud, little by little the zeal for improvement accumulated in me. I grew, and at the same time my mind prospered. With joy I read books that preach about God, 100. and had communication with men who were perfect in morals. That was the beginning. But I don’t know which path to choose for the word when describing what follows. Should I hide those miracles with which God excited me, mistaking my zeal for a good beginning 105. (for this is how He usually draws people to salvation), or express them with all zeal in front of everyone? One is not grateful, and the other is not without arrogance. It's better to remain silent. It’s enough for me that I know this myself. Otherwise, what is visible now will contradict the word, 110. as insufficient in comparison with the jealousy of that time. But what is necessary, I will make known to many. My cheeks were not yet pubescent, but I was possessed by some kind of fiery love for science. And I tried to give teachings that were not entirely pure to help the true teachings, 115. so that those who had not learned anything would exalt themselves except vain and empty eloquence, which consists of loudness and euphony, and so that I myself might not get entangled in the intricacies of false thinking. 120. But it never occurred to me to prefer anything to our lessons. However, what the ardor of young people, which easily gives in to disorderly aspirations, is always subjected to, I was also subjected to this, setting off on the road like a young horse full of courage. It was completely untimely, 125. when the sea had not yet calmed down, when, according to those who knew the matter, some tail of a calf threatened danger 13 and sailing was a matter of insolence, not prudence, I left Alexandria, where I had already reaped several knowledge, 130. and cut through the sea, rushing straight to Hellas. When we rounded Cyprus, the rebellious winds shook the ship. Earth, sea, ether, darkened sky - everything merged into one night. Thunder responded to lightning strikes, 135. ropes splashed around the inflated sails, the mast bent, the helm lost all strength, and the rudder handle was forcibly torn out of the hands, water stood like a wall over the ship and filled its underwater part. The mournful cries of the ship's servants, commanders, ship owners, travelers, 140. all of whom, even those who did not know God before, unanimously called on Christ, because fear is the most intelligible lesson. But the most terrible of all disasters was 145. lack of water on the ship, which, due to strong shocks, disintegrated, and all the treasures of fresh water that were on it spilled through the bottom into the depths. It was necessary to die, fighting hunger, storm and winds. 150. True, God is sending a quick deliverance from this. Suddenly Phoenician merchants appeared, and although they themselves were in fear, but at our prayers, having learned about the extremeness of the disaster, with the help of hooks and with mighty blows with their hands, like strong men, they jumped onto the ship, 155. and put us, almost already dead swimmers, like fish that were left by the sea on land, or like a dying lamp that lacks food. But meanwhile, the roaring sea continued to grow more and more ferocious against us for many days. 160. After many turns, we did not know where we were sailing, and we did not see any salvation from God. When everyone was afraid of ordinary death, internal death was even more terrible for me. The inhospitably murderous waters deprived me of the purifying waters 14, 165. that would have united me with God. About this I shed tears, this was my misfortune, about this I, the unfortunate one, stretched out my hands, raised cries that drowned out the strong noise of the waves, tore my clothes and, prostrate, lay overwhelmed by grief. 170. But this is what, although unlikely, is not at all false. All those sailing on the ship, forgetting about their own misfortune and becoming pious in the general misfortune, united with me in prayerful cries. They were so compassionate towards my suffering! 175. You, Christ, were my great Savior then, and now you deliver me from the worries of life. When no good hope appeared, no island, no solid land, no mountain tops, no burning lamp, no stars to guide sailors, nothing - 180. neither big nor small was in mind, what then do I do? What's the end to my predicament? Desperate in everything below, I turn my gaze to You, my life, my breath, my light, my strength, my salvation, to You, Who frightens, amazes, smiles, heals 185. and always adds useful things to the sorrowful. Having reminded You of all the previous miracles in which we recognize Your great hand, about the divided sea and about Israel traveling across it (Exodus 14:21), about the enemies defeated by the lifting of hands (Exodus 17:8-13), 190. about the Egyptians crushed by heavenly punishments, about the creatures slavishly obeying the leaders, about the walls, destroyed by the sound of trumpets and circumambulation (Josh. 6:19), and to the miracles glorified from ancient times, adding the miracles that were performed on me, I said: 195. “I was Yours before, Yours now. You will accept me twice as one of Your dear possessions, as a gift of land and sea, purified by both a mother’s vow and excessive fear. I will live for You if I avoid extreme danger. You will lose Your servant if you do not save me. 200. And now Your disciple is overwhelmed. Awake or walk on the waters, and end the danger” (see: Luke 8:24). So I spoke, and the raging winds stopped, the sea fell, and the ship rushed straight ahead. And here is the acquisition of my 205. prayer. Whoever was on the ship, everyone left it, reverent before the great Christ, having received deep salvation from God. Meanwhile, having passed Rhodes, we soon, with a fair wind, entered the Aegina harbour, because 210. the ship was from Aegina. Then Athens and science. But let others say what happened there, how I lived in the fear of God, trying to excel among those who knew what is the very first; 215. and when other young people among their brethren, in impulses of youth and courageous impetuosity, indulged in excesses, I led a quiet life. Like that source which, as they say, remains sweet even among the bitter waters of the sea, I was not carried away by those that led to destruction, 220. but I myself attracted friends to the most perfect. And God showed me a favor in this too, uniting me by bonds of friendship with the wisest man, who alone was superior to all in life and word. Who is this? You will recognize him very easily. 225. This is Vasily - a great acquisition for this century. Together with him we studied, and lived, and thought. If I have anything to boast about, then I made a couple with him that was not dishonorable for Hellas. We had everything in common, 230. and one soul in both connected what the bodies separated. And what primarily united us was God and the desire for perfection. When we acquired so much mutual trust in each other that we expressed the depths of our hearts to each other, 235. then we were united with even closer bonds of love, because the sameness of feelings and mutual affection makes it more inseparable. What then? – Return to the fatherland and choosing a type of life. Much time has already been devoted to science. I'm almost thirty years old. 240. Here I learned how much our comrades loved us and what opinion they had of us. The time was approaching, and so was the difficult feat. Hugs and tearful parting speeches began to be needed, in which heartfelt ignitions for each other were recalled. 245. Forced and with difficulty, however, they yielded to Vasily when he presented many of the reasons for his departure. And even now tears flow from me, remembering the embarrassment of that time. With great haste, all 250 people surrounded me - strangers, close acquaintances, peers, teachers; They even added violence to the spells and tears - friendship inspired them to dare to do this too. They held me tightly, saying: “No matter what happens, we won’t let you out of here!” 255. Venerable Athens must not lose you. According to the general verdict, they will give you primacy in literature.” How could one oak tree resist so many tears and convictions, and I gave in, although not completely. I was attracted to my fatherland. 260. It alone almost under the sun was strong in faith. There, devoting myself to philosophy seemed to me the most wonderful thing. My parents, burdened by old age and time, also attracted me there. Therefore, I did not stay long in Athens, disappeared from there almost secretly and hit the road. 265. I showed examples of my eloquence, satisfied the ailment of the people who demanded this from me as a duty. But what I had in mind was not applause, not the talk of surprise, nor rapture, nor worship, which the sophists admire in a crowd of young people. 270. Above all else, I set for myself that wisdom, so that I would cast everything else and my learned works before God, as others left their estates to shepherds or, having collected their gold, threw them into the depths of the sea. 275. However, as I said, I submitted to the will of my friends. And this served as a kind of preparatory exercise for future exploits or the threshold of the most important sacraments. Finally, courageous determination was needed. I gather my friends, that is, my thoughts - these sincere advisers - into the inner judgment seat. 280. And when I was looking for the best of the best, a terrible whirlpool took hold of my mind. I had long ago decided to cast everything carnal into the depths, and now I liked this most of all. 285. But when I began to consider the divine paths themselves, it was not easy to find the best and smoothest path. Both of them, as often happens with us when we decide to do something, seemed either good or bad in some way. If my condition is depicted by some kind of comparison, then I looked like a person who is planning some kind of distant journey, 290. but, avoiding sailing by sea and seafaring labor, is looking for a path on which there would be more convenience. Elijah the Tishbite, the great Carmel, extraordinary food, the heritage of the Forerunner - the desert, the poverty-loving life of the 295. sons of Johanadab came to my mind. On the other hand, the love for Divine books and the light of the Spirit, drawn from deepening into God’s Word, overpowered, and such an activity is not a matter of desert and silence. Many times I wavered back and forth, 300. and finally pacified my desires, and settled my wandering mind in the middle, namely in the following way. I have noticed that people who enjoy an active life are useful in society, but useless to themselves, and they are outraged by disasters, 305. which is why their gentle disposition becomes agitated. I also saw that for some reason those living outside the world are much more comfortable and look to God with a silent mind, but they are useful only to themselves, their love is enclosed in a close circle, and the life they lead is unusual and harsh. 310. Therefore, I entered some kind of middle path between those who have renounced and those living in society, taking from some the concentration of mind, and from others the effort to be useful to society. The most important reason was also added - gratitude to the venerable people, I mean those who gave birth to me, to whom I was in debt. 315. And as it is most pious to give the first honor according to God to our parents, to whom we owe the fact that we know God, I cherished their old age, supported them with all my might, led them by the hand, 320. so that I myself could have a happy old age, pleasing their old age. For what we sow is what we reap. And for me this was part of my education in philosophy - not to show even the appearance that I was working for a most excellent life, but to a greater extent to be, and not to seem, pleasing to God. Therefore, although I recognized that it is necessary to love those who lead an active life, 325. as a destiny from God received the honor of leading the people through the Divine sacraments, however, apparently belonging to society, I had more attachment to the monastic life, because it does not consist in bodily residence, but in curbing the character. 330. The church pulpit was worthy for me, but as I stood in the distance, it seemed the same as sunlight is to weak eyes. Rather, I could have hoped for nothing more than that, among many upheavals in life, I would get it myself. But a person cannot speak decisively about anything important. 335. Envy always puts obstacles in our soaring. Don't take too many examples - look at my life. I disposed myself this way, but a terrible storm overtook me. My father knew exactly my thoughts, but I don’t understand why 340. - perhaps prompted by fatherly love (and love in power is strong), in order to hold me with spiritual ties and honor me with the best of what he himself possessed - against my will he elevates me to one of the lower thrones 15. 345. Under this compulsion (and to this day I cannot call it anything else, may God’s Spirit forgive me for such feelings!) I was so grieved that I forgot everything - friends, parents, fatherland, clan, 350. and, like an ox wounded by a horse fly, I went to Pontus, hoping there to find a cure for my grief in a divine friend. There he worked in cohabitation with God, covered with a cloud, like one of the Old Testament sages. 355. It was Vasily, who is now with the Angels. He eased the sorrow of my heart. Meanwhile, the good father, exhausted from old age and the desire to have me with him, urged his son to honor the last days of his life. 360. And in me, time itself weakened the feeling of distress. And again (which I should never do) I plunge into the depths, afraid of the tearful fatherly threats. It was dangerous that tenderness should not turn into an oath, for such is angered simplicity. 365. Not much time passed after this, and there was new excitement; I don’t know how much more fierce it was than before. But it wouldn’t be superfluous to tell your friends everything. My brother held a high position in the world. My brother, oh, how strong you are, evil demon! – 370. My brother, when he was entrusted with the state treasury, dies in office. Many dogs attacked the property and remains of the deceased; everything was stolen by family, outsiders, and friends. When an oak tree has fallen, who doesn’t stock up on firewood? 375. But as far as this actually concerned me, I was not yet afraid of the confluence of events; because he was a free bird, for which it was not difficult to fly upward. However, it was necessary, together with the wonderful parent, to bear everything - both good and bad, 380. and share with him, if not property, then worries. And whoever takes his first step over the abyss and slips one day is no longer able to hold on and falls into the precipitous depths; so for me, as soon as I tasted evil, out of one misfortune grew another. 385. At this time (I will keep silent about what happened before, for fear of giving the idea that I was uttering a blasphemous word against a person whom I was now only pleasing with blessings) my most beloved of friends 390. Vasily came to me (I pronounce the word with sorrow, but I will say it). He became a different father for me, placing an even more burdensome burden on me. But I had to endure from one, although he treated me like a ruler; there was no need to endure from the other for the sake of friendship, which brought me harm, and not liberation from disasters. 395. I don’t know who to blame for what happened to me; it still makes me nervous, just like it was recently; Should I blame myself more for my sins (and they often and strongly gnawed at me) or should I, most excellent of people, reproach you for the exaltation to which the throne has brought you? 400. If we take everything else into account, then perhaps you yourself would not want (just as you did not want until now out of your great kindness) to gain an advantage over me. And even if you had wanted to, some kindly judge who knew both of us well would probably have kept you. 405. What happened to you? Why did you suddenly throw me so far away from yourself? May the law of friendship perish in the world, which respects friends so little! Yesterday we were lions, but now I have become a monkey, and you are almost a lion. 410. If you looked at all your friends like that, then (I’ll say a proud word) at least you shouldn’t look like that at me, whom you used to prefer to other friends, until you ascended beyond the clouds and everything became lower than you. But why are you worried, my heart? Hold the horse with strength, 415. and let speech go its own way again. For me, this otherwise most undeceitful friend became a liar. More than once he heard me say: “Now everything must be endured, even if the worst happens. But as soon as my parents are no longer in the world, 420. then I will have the full opportunity to leave my affairs and from a homeless life acquire at least the benefit that I will easily be a citizen of any place.” He heard this and praised my reasoning. 425. But despite all this, together with my father, he forcibly elevates me to the episcopal throne, another time stopping me in this. Don't worry until you know everything. If my enemies had spent a lot of time looking for ways to bring me to disgrace, then I think they would have found no other way, but this very same method. 430. Do you want to know which one? Anyone to whom this act seemed indecent will tell you. How I behaved with my friend, Pontus knows about it, Caesarea knows about it, all our mutual friends know about it. 435. It would be low to reproach me for this. To remember the good done is decent for the one who used it, but not decent for the one who did it. But what kindness he had towards me, let his actions prove that! On the big road that runs 440. through Cappadocia, there is a place where travelers usually stop, from which one road divides into three. The place is waterless, not even a blade of grass grows, devoid of all amenities, the village is terribly boring and cramped. There is always dust, the sound of carts, tears, sobs, tax collectors, instruments of torture, chains; 445. and the inhabitants are strangers and vagabonds. This was the church in my Sasima! This is the city to which (truly, this is generosity!) He gave me to whom fifty chorebishops were not enough. And in order to retain this for himself when another took it away by force, 450. he installed a new pulpit. And I (because we were once strong) stood in the first row of his warlike friends. And of course, wounds for a holy cause are not terrible, because, among other things that I have calculated, it was impossible to take possession of this throne without shedding blood. 455. It served as a subject of dispute for two rival bishops; A terrible war broke out between them, and the reason for this was the division of our fatherland, according to which two cities became superior over other smaller ones. 460. The pretext was caring for souls, but the true motive was lust, I dare not say: fees and extortions, which is why the whole world comes into pitiful hesitation. What would be fair for me to do, tell me, before God? Tolerate? Take all the blows of disasters? Go no matter what? 465. Get bogged down in the mud? To go to a place where I could not put to rest even this old age, constantly driven from under the roof by a violent hand, where I would not have bread to break with the stranger, where I, a beggar, would take over the management of a people who were also mendicant, 470. not seeing any way to render them a service and abounding only in what was available in the cities of evil, where I had to pick thorns, not roses. from thorns, to reap only disasters, not covered by any benefits? Demand from me generosity in something other than, if you want, 475. and offer this to those who are wiser than me! This is what Athens brought me - common exercises in the sciences, life under one roof, food from one table, one mind, and not two in both, the surprise of Hellas and mutual promises to sever the world as far as possible from ourselves, 480. and ourselves to live a common life for God, and to bring success in words as a gift to the one wise Word! Everything fell apart! Everything is thrown to the ground! The winds carry away old hopes! Where to run? Will you, wild animals, accept me? 485. I think they have more loyalty. This, to put it briefly, was my position! But after I, although I did not bow in spirit, nevertheless bowed my neck, what should I say? No matter from which side I portray my entire illness, there is a sting for me everywhere. 490. Again I am a fugitive, again I take refuge in the mountain, indulging in my beloved way of life, enjoying it. What benefit does this bring me? It turned out that I was an indecisive fugitive. Knowing how to be patient in everything else, I did not have the courage to do this and could not bear my father’s anger. 495. My father’s first attempt was to establish me in Sasima. But as it was not successful, he sets out on a new voyage 500. and stretches out his hands to me, touches my beard, asking me not to remain at a lower level, but, working with him (because he was already burdened by the flesh), to make his labors easier. And what beliefs did he not use? “You, dearest of sons,” he said, “are begged by the father, the young one is begged by the old father, the servant is begged by the one who is your ruler both by nature and by the double law. 505. I do not ask you for gold, not silver, not expensive stones, not plots of cultivated land, not the needs of luxury, child, but I strive to make you another Aaron and Samuel, an honorable representative of God. You, son, belong to the One who gave you. Do not dishonor me, 510. so that our only Father may be merciful to you. My demand is wonderful, at least it is fatherly. You have not yet lived in the world as long as time has passed since I made sacrifices to God. Do me this favor; do it, or someone else will put me to death. 515. I determine this punishment for disobedience. Give a few days to the remains of my days, and dispose of the rest of your life as you please.” When I listened to this and my soul was freed somewhat from under the burden that burdened it, like the sun from behind the clouds, 520. what then happens, how does my suffering end? I reasoned with myself that there was no harm in avoiding the pulpit and fulfilling my father’s desire. “For this,” I said, “will not hold me against my will, who is not bound by either name or promise.” 525. This is what overwhelming fear has brought me to! But when my parents moved from this life, having been worthy of the lot to which they had long been hastening, it was not for good that I remained free. 530. It is true that I did not touch the church given to me at all, I never served God there, I did not pray with the people, I did not lay hands on any of the clergy, but as for my father’s church (several reverent people attacked me and did not stop conjuring, 535. threatening the successes of many godless people), then I had some care about it for a short time (I do not deny this), but I had it as a person an outsider about the church is a stranger. I always said this very thing to the bishops, asking them from the depths of my heart, as a gift, to appoint someone as bishop of this small city. 540. In all fairness, I asserted, firstly, that I did not accept the leadership of this church by public name, and secondly, that I had a long-standing idea of ​​escaping both friends and affairs. 545. But I could not convince them, and some, out of great affection for me, and others, perhaps, out of arrogance, wanted to get the better of me. Therefore, I first went as a fugitive to Seleucia, to the church of the glorified virgin Thekla, reasoning that perhaps by this means, 550. when time tires them, they will be convinced to give the reins [of government] to another. I spent a lot of time there. But having again encountered his misfortunes, he did not find any of the benefits that he expected. And the things that I thought to avoid, as if on time, 555. came to me in great numbers. But here, of course, is the most difficult part of my word. However, I will say, although I will say something very well known, I will say so that when I am not with you, you at least have this word as a cure for grief, 560. as a reproach to enemies and as a testimony to friends, from whom I, without offending them in any way, suffered an insult myself. Nature did not produce two suns, but two Romes, these are two luminaries for the whole universe, an ancient and a new Power. 565. They only differ from each other in that one is where the sun shines, and the other is in the west. But as for beauty, they are not inferior to each other in beauty; and if you ask about their faith, one has walked the good path from a long time ago, and is still walking to this day, 570. binding the entire West with a saving word, as befits the first-throne city in the whole world, which honors the complete consent of the Divine; and the other (I say this about my, and then not my Rome) was formerly rightful, but now is not, on the contrary - 575. mired in the abyss of destruction after the frivolous and full of all evils city of Alexandria - this insane ebullience, sent from itself the abomination of desolation - Arius, who was the first to say that the Trinity is not worthy of worship, cutting the indivisible essence into unequal parts, 580. in one nature he demarcated the limits of dignity, which is why we diverged along different paths. However, no matter how ill-fated this city was, brought to such a state and according to the law of time 585. (for every outdated custom turns into a law) died a miserable death from unbelief, there was still a small seed of life breath in it, there were souls perfect in the word of faith, there was a people, small indeed, but numerous before God, 590. Which takes into account not the multitude, but the hearts; there was a secure planting in it, there was a most precious remains. The grace of the Spirit sent me to them: they thought about me that I meant something before God, as a person known for life and word, although I always led a rural life. 595. Many people invited me, both from the shepherds and from the sheep; invited to be a helper to the people, a defender of the word, waterless souls, but still green to be refreshed with streams of piety, 600. with the nourishment of oil to pour light into the lamp, and the many-sided wordwork of greyhound tongues, with which the simplicity of faith is cut - these cobwebs, rotten bonds, funny for the strong, but binding the frivolous, 605. to resolve and dissolve the firm teaching, so that everyone who is caught in them can escape the snare. So, not of my own free will, but forcibly carried away by others, I came there to be a defender of the word. For there was a rumor about some gathering of 610. bishops who were introducing a newly emerged heretical teaching into the Church 16 . The dissolution of God the Word with us, into which He entered, without changing Himself, but taking upon Himself a person who has a soul and mind, accessible to the suffering inherent in the body, 615. the whole of the former Adam except for sin - this, I say, dissolution is dissected in the new teaching. And it introduces some stupid God, as if afraid that the mind will come into conflict with God. But on this basis I would also be afraid of the physical nature, because it is still much further from God. 620. Or, of course, when everything needed salvation, the mind was destined to perish completely, which my God had to save above all, and which was most destroyed in the primordial [Adam], because with the mind it both accepted the law and betrayed the law! 625. But what was left in negligence had to be taken up, and therefore may the Word save not half of me, who suffered entirely! And may God not be dishonored by the fact that he allegedly took not the whole of me, but only dirt, an unreasonable soul, the soul of some dumb animal, which, 630. of course, is saved, according to your teaching. May every pious person remove such thoughts from himself! For those who dissect the goodness of the world, although in the opposite way, nevertheless in some respects equally sin, like those who rashly introduce two sons, one from God and the other from the Virgin. 635. Some cut off badly, while others double badly 17 . If there are two sons, I am afraid that one of two things will happen: either we will worship two Gods instead of one, or, when out of reverence we do not want to endure this, 640. We will place the combined 18 outside the Divinity. Although God cannot tolerate anything that the flesh endures, yet human nature has partaken of the whole of God, not in the same way as a prophet or another of the inspired people who partakes not of God, but of God’s gifts, 645. On the contrary, it has partaken in such a way that God abides in human nature with His essence, like the sun in its rays. Therefore, let us not have a word about them, if you do not want to worship the God-Man, as one and perceived and perceived together, flightless and subject to time, 650. existing from one Father and from one Mother - two natures combined into one Christ! But what was the state of my affairs? When I arrived there, I met many disasters. At first the city became agitated and rebelled against me, 655 as if I were introducing many gods instead of one God. And this was not surprising. So they were taught that they did not know pious teaching at all, did not know how the Unity is thought of as three and the Trinity as one, if in both cases one thinks piously. 660. But the common people are carried away in favor of the suffering. Thus, feeling pity for their then primate and shepherd, this numerous people, filled with a high opinion of themselves, stood for the needy, considering it an extreme disgrace for themselves not to gain the upper hand in something. 665. I will keep silent about the stones - this treat that they gave me, and I will only reproach them for the fact that they were unsuccessful in choosing a target and aimed at those whom it would have been a vain murder to hit. And then I, as a murderer, was presented to the rulers of the city, who looked somehow down and arrogantly 670. and who had one law - to seek the people's favor. They introduced me, who, as a student of the Word, had never done or thought anything harmful. And Christ appeared as my protector in the word, helping me with my protective word. 675. He also saved those given to live with lions; He sprinkled fire to cool the young men (Dan. 3:50); He made a house of prayer for the pious from a whale (Jonah 2:2–3); He also glorified me in an alien court. Then a terrible jealousy was discovered among my people; 680. They draw me to some Paul and Apollos 19, who never incarnated for us and did not shed blood in precious suffering, while we are called by their name, and not by the name of the One who saved us (see: 1 Cor. 1:12-13). With them everything is set in motion; everything is shocked, 685. as if the Church was prospering in other respects. But how can a ship, or a city, or an army, or a full choir, or a friendly house stand when there is more in them that destroys than that that holds together? This is what happened then with Christ’s people. 690. This noble generation had not yet grown stronger, had not acquired courage, had not renounced the swaddling clothes of childhood, had not yet rested its tender foot on the ground, when in the eyes of its parents it was already flogged, thrown to the ground, 695. tormented by wolves who thirsted for my childlessness. It was unbearable for them that the poorest person, hunched over, drooping to the ground, dressed poorly, bridling his belly with tears, fear of the future and other misfortunes, a wanderer, a wanderer, 700. having nothing attractive to the eye, hidden in the darkness of the earth, takes advantage of people distinguished by strength and beauty. Almost the following words were heard from them: “We flatter, but you don’t; we honor the high seats, 705. but you honor the fear of God; we love expensive dishes, but you love cheap food, in which all the seasoning is salt, and you despise the salty bitterness of arrogance. We are slaves of time and popular whims, we give our boat to every blowing wind, our teaching, 710. like chameleons or polyps, constantly takes on a new color, and you are a motionless anvil. What arrogance! It’s as if there is always one faith, that you are so constrained by the dogma of truth, 715. all walking along the same boring path of the word. Why do you, most excellent one, attract people with your talkative tongue? Why successfully overthrow those who indulge in evil wisdom in delusions of all kinds? Why should it be different for friends and for strangers, 720. but for some a stone magnet, and for others a sling?” But if this is not bad (as indeed it is not bad), why are you indignant, as if you encountered some kind of lack of education? If it’s bad (as it seems to you alone), judge truthfully, as God’s primate. 725. Smite me, who fell into error, but do not touch the people, who have not committed any unrighteousness, except that they love me and submitted to my instructions. I was still able to endure the first attacks. 730. Although the news surprised me for a short time, like thunder that suddenly struck my ears, or the speed of lightning that flashed across unaccustomed eyes, I still had no wounds, and I could endure everything. And the hope that things would take a happy turn and that the same thing would not happen to me next time, 735. convinced me to easily endure misfortune. But from this very thing new troubles soon arose for me. How can I describe my work? How could you, the inventor of all evil, an envious demon, carry out such an evil deed? 740. It was not blood, not frogs, not clouds of Scnips, not dog flies, not the destruction of cattle, not strings, not hail, not springs, not darkness, not the destruction of the firstborn that brought me down - this is the last of the disasters, which, as everyone knows, 745. were executions for the ferocious Egyptians, but finally it was not the waves of the Red Sea that crushed me, drowned the people. What shook me? The frivolity of the Egyptians. How did it shake you? It is worth telling about this, for it can serve as an eternal monument of shame for the wicked. 750. In our city there was an effeminate man, some kind of Egyptian ghost, angry to the point of rage, a dog, and a small dog, a street servant, Ares, a silent evil, a whale-like monster, red, black-haired, curly, shaggy. 755. It has been curly for a long time, but the hair has been invented again, because art is the second creator. Most often this is the work of wives, and sometimes men also gild and curl their hair, cut philosophically. Put into action, 760. wise men, those rubbings that are on the faces of women. For why should only wise women use this indecent and bad beauty, which serves as a silent sign of morals? That Maxim no longer belonged to the ranks of men was hidden until time, but now his hairstyle showed it. 765. What is surprising to us about today’s sages is that their nature and appearance are dual and in a pitiful way they belong to both sexes: in their hair they resemble women, and in their staff they resemble men. Maxim also boasted of this, as a man who meant something in the city; 770. his shoulders were always covered with golden curls; thoughts flew from his hair like slings, and he wore all his learning on his body. He is heard to have walked in many wicked ways; but let others inquire about others; 775. I don’t even have time to go into the study of everything; however, this is in many records of the city governors. Finally, he is established in this city. Here he lacked the food he was accustomed to; but his eye was keen, and his instinct was wise; 780. because one cannot help but call this bitter plan for me wise - to depose me from the pulpit, who did not have one and was not honored by any title at all, but only protected and reconciled the people. But what is even wiser is that, as an experienced inventor and plotter of intrigues, he conducts the entire plot of the matter not through strangers, 785. but through myself, a person who is not at all accustomed to this, completely unfamiliar with cunning and accustomed to respecting other types of cunning, namely, to say something wise, to praise when another says it, 790. and to extract their very heart from Divine books. When describing such a disaster, I want to say one new word. It would behoove everyone to be the same in morals, or inexperienced, or cunning in evil; because some would suffer less harm from others, 795. if everyone's morals were balanced or agreed. And now the good are becoming the prey of the evil. What does this confusion of creation mean? How much inequality there is in those whom God has interconnected with each other. Who among the modest ones is able to notice how a malicious person 800. cunning, tying, carrying out his intrigues, always able to cover himself with thousands of subterfuges? And whoever is ready to commit a bad act watches everything and looks for the opportune time. And whoever is disposed towards goodness is by nature slow 805. and inactive in suspecting anything bad, which is why good nature is conveniently caught. See how and with what skill this man carries out his intention. In it you will see some new Egyptian Proteus. He becomes a well-meaning man 810. and very faithful. Who was so disposed towards me as this Maxim? He lived with me under the same roof, ate the same meals, shared my opinions and assumptions. And this is not at all surprising. Like some big dog, he then barked at wicked people, and zealously praised my teachings. 815. But at the same time he borrowed some kind of illness from the altar servants, a remnant of the original illness. And this was an innate evil - unceasing envy, because vice is not without difficulty brought to exhaustion. Over them, Maxim became an untruthful, but self-willed judge and, 820. having found two accomplices of his malice, the first and second murderer, he was finally relieved of his burden by giving birth to an asp. The first of these companions was Belial, once an Angel, and the second was a presbyter of this people, 825. in mind even more than in body, a barbarian. He was not forgotten by me, did not see any disdain from me, always enjoyed primacy both in honors and in the co-throne (hear, O Christ, O infallible eye in judgment, if only it is decent to call on Christ here!) 830. and suddenly became pregnant with crafty and malicious hatred. Alas! How can I pay for this? The clear sky was covered with darkness; an accumulated evil came upon me in the distance—an Egyptian cloud. First there appeared the spies 835. whom the once valiant Moses sent to the chosen land of Israel (Num. 13:2–3). But these were not Jesus and Caleb - the wise men, but something impudent from the youths and elders - Ammon, Apammon, Arpocrates, Stipus, Rodon, Anuvis, Hermanuvis - Egyptian gods, 840. Demons appeared in the form of monkeys and dogs, pitiful and violent sailors who sell themselves inexpensively - for a small coin they willingly (if only they could be found) offer many gods. And soon afterwards those who sent these spies arrived, 845. leaders worthy of such a horde, or shepherds, if it is more fitting to say the latter about dogs. But I won’t say anything more; although I have many words ready, and they make my insides tremble, like a tied wineskin in which new wine ferments, 850. or like a blacksmith’s bellows that is filled with air. However, I respect the one who sent them, although he is frivolous, I respect them themselves as people who, perhaps, should be excused somewhat, because they were carried away by rudeness, acted at the instigation of others, 855. namely, those whom envy made angry with me here. Solve, wise ones, my problem. This is not clear to me, and no wise man can explain it. Why did Peter himself, this judge of the shepherds, first with his writing, 860. which clearly does not contain any ambiguity, as his very letter to me will assure of this, recognized me as enthroned and honored me with the signs of his approval, and now instead of a virgin he turned out to be a doe for me? This is a dark matter that requires explanation. 865. Have you ever seen anything more similar to acting, although there are many crafty deeds played out in the world? But they will also see something even funnier. One of the feasters said that wine rules everyone, 870. another argued that women rule everyone, and the wise one said that truth rules (2 Ezra 11:12). But I would add about gold that dominion belongs to it. They set everything in motion without difficulty; and it is not at all strange if only the worldly things prevail over our spirit. But they will ask: where did this dog get his gold? 875. One presbyter came here from Fassa and brought gold from the church there in order to buy Proconnian marble with it. Having treated this poor man kindly, with the assistance of others, tying him with many hopes 880. (for bad men quickly converge with bad men), Maxim extracted gold from him; I acquired this all-suited servant, a faithful assistant, a sincere comrade. And here's the proof! The very ones who previously respected me now begin to despise me as a useless and penniless friend, 885. and, like the arrow in a scale, are easily inclined to the worse. It was night, and I was lying sick. Like predatory wolves that suddenly appeared in a sheep pen, with a considerable number of hired sailors 890. (who easily set Alexandria on fire, because smart people also pester these sailors), they hasten to shorn this dog and elevate him to the pulpit before it became known to the people, the leaders of the Church, and even to me, if not more, then at least to the dog of this flock. 895. They say that this is what they were ordered to do. This is how Alexandria rewards your efforts! Let someone else who is well disposed towards you judge this! It's morning. The clergy (because the clergy lived close) becomes indignant, 900. rumor quickly spreads from one to another, and a very strong fire breaks out. How many officials came to see us; how many - strangers and even those of dubious faith! There was not a person who, seeing such a reward for his labors, was not irritated by the act of that time. 905. But why continue the speech? They immediately leave the church in anger, grieving that they have not achieved their goal. But so that the evil begun does not go to waste, they bring the rest of their acting to an end. 910. These venerable and godly people, accompanied by several laymen from among the most despicable, enter the poor home of the flute maker and there, cutting off the hair of the most evil of the dogs, however, without using either bonds or violence, because this dog was ready for more, they appoint him as a shepherd. 915. The cutting of the thick curls was completed; this long-term labor of hands was easily destroyed, and he himself gained from this one thing, that the secret of the hair, in which all his strength lay, was discovered, 920. as this is also narrated about Judge Sampson, that his shorn hair betrayed him to his enemies, to whom, to please, his wife cut it and brought about this untimely and destructive harvest (see: Judges 16:19). But from dogs he was made a shepherd 925. again from shepherds he became a dog, and (what a dishonor!) an abandoned dog. He no longer has beautiful hair, but he does not own a herd, but again runs around the meat markets for bones. What will you do with your beautiful hair? 930. Will you carefully grow them again? Or will you remain such a laughing stock as you are now? Both are shameful, and between these two extremes it is impossible to find anything in between, except one noose. But tell me also, where will you put or where will you send this cut hair? Are they to the disgraceful actors or to the virgins, 935. and to which virgins again? Is it not to our Corinthians? Is it not those with whom you, O all-wise one, once practiced one-on-one in godly deeds! For all this, I’d rather call you a dog from heaven. After this, the city mourned so much 940. about the events of that time that everyone was embarrassed, everyone spread hateful rumors about Maxim to harm his life, and what had hitherto been hidden in thoughts was brought out by anger. Everyone added something new from themselves; 945. and from all this a harmonious image of one perfect scoundrel was formed. Just as in the case of major ailments, minor infirmities appear in the body, which remained unnoticed while the person was healthy, so with Maxim, all previous bad deeds are put to shame 950. by the latest outrageous act. But I will never disclose them. Let those who speak know this. Although I suffered an insult, out of respect for the former I close my mouth. “So what? Wasn't he one of your friends yesterday? 955. Wasn’t it yesterday that you honored him with the greatest praise?” So, perhaps, someone else will object to me, who knows this matter and wants to blame me for the readiness with which I respected even the worst of dogs. 960. Indeed, I was in ignorance worthy of reproach, just as Adam was deceived by an evil taste; the bitter tree was beautiful to look at; I was deceived by the mask of faith that I saw on his face, and by the feigned words. 965. And he who is faithful is the most trustworthy of all, and is easily attracted by the reverence of another, whether it be true or imaginary. Of course, this is still a good weakness. For everyone thinks what he wants. And tell me, wise ones, what should I have done? What do you think any of you would do differently? 970. The Church was then in such a cramped position that it meant a lot to me to collect straw. Straitened circumstances do not provide the freedom that one can have in times of abundance. 975. It was very important for me if a dog walks in my yard and honors Christ, and not Hercules. But there was something more here. About the exile to which Maxim was subjected for shameful deeds, he assured that he suffered this for the sake of God. He was punished with scourges, but to me he seemed victorious. If this is a grave fault, then I know that more than once and in many ways I have sinned in a similar way. Forgive me, judges, in this wonderful sin Maxim was the most wicked person, but I respected him as a good man. Or I’ll say something even more courageous. Here I give away my talkative tongue, which cannot keep track of time 985. Whoever wants, cut him off without mercy. So what? Isn't he already cut off? If anything, then it really is so. At least he has been silent for a long time, and will continue to remain silent, perhaps as punishment for his inopportuneness and to learn that not everyone likes him. 990. But what is this? Let me add one more thing. Cunning, truly, goes against common sense. Whom even kindness did not make meek, could any other remedy do anything? So the very honor for him is already a reproach. What would you say is the character of this person? 995. Very thin. And if this is true, do not seek more. And if it’s not true, then don’t agree to the previous one. What could be more undeniable than this? So this evil man, 1000, was dishonestly driven out of here. Or rather, he was driven out beautifully, because he was angry. Since the king of the East, preparing the death of the barbarian tribes, was in the Thessalonian fortress, then look again at what this evil dog is up to. 1005. Taking with him a vile crowd of Egyptians (I mean those who cut his hair so ugly), he sets off for the military camp in order to confirm the department for himself by royal decree. But there, no one’s ears were yet ill-disposed towards me and did not listen to slander; Therefore, Maximus is also rejected there 1010. with great anger and terrible curses, like a dog, and soon hides in Alexandria, having done this one just and smart thing. For with a hired crowd of homeless people he attacks Peter, 1015. who had a double pen and who wrote everything without difficulty, even if it contradicted one another. This old man is being pressed by Maxim, demanding for himself the throne he hoped for, and otherwise threatening that he himself will not leave him on the throne. 1020. Finally, the city governor, fearing (as rightly so) that the fanning flames would add new ones to the old disasters, drives him out. And now he seems to be calm. 1025. But I am afraid that this terrible cloud, fraught with hail, blown by a strong wind, will not burst upon those who do not expect it at all, because evil can never be calm; although now it is connected, it will not become more prudent. 1030. Such is the wisdom of today's dogs! These are barking dogs, which is the only way they resemble dogs. What is Diogenes or Antisthenes in comparison with them? What's in front of them and Crates? Put Plato’s wisdom at nothing; the portico means nothing. 1035. To you, Socrates, the primacy has belonged until now. I will say something more true than the Pythia herself. Maxim is the wiser of all 21. And I am in poverty, as hardly any mortal has been in poverty: this has been the case with me from the very beginning; This continues even more now. 1040. And great thanks to the labors on land, the dangers at sea and the fears by which I was saved! They, having placed me above all that is evil, clearly turned me to what is above. However, I could not bear the dishonor of that time, 1045. and joyfully grabbed the opportunity that had opened up. As soon as I learned that this wicked man had been shorn, although all my friends surrounded me, they formed an inconspicuous guard around me, guarding my movements, exits and returns, 1050. However, since all my enemies saw this struggle and considered the division that had taken place to be the overthrow of the teaching itself, looking at all this and not having the patience to endure (I do not deny this), I experienced on myself something characteristic of a simple man, and not a wise one. 1055. Immediately, as they say, I turned the stern back, and turned it with a not very skillful hand. No one would, perhaps, have guessed; but some kind of farewell word escaped me, which I uttered in the sorrow of my father’s heart. “Watch,” I said, “the entire Trinity, 1060. as the most generous father gave to you, beloved children; remember, dear ones, my labors too.” As soon as the people heard this word, one impatient one cried out loudly, and, 1065. like a swarm of bees driven out of a hive by smoke, men and women, maidens, youths, children, old men, noble and ignoble, commanders, warriors living in retirement suddenly rise and deafen with cries; still seething with anger and love, 1070. anger at enemies, love for the shepherd. But it was not in my rules to be forced to kneel and rejoice at the confirmation of the throne, which was not entirely legal, when they could not force me to accept the legitimate throne. To achieve what they want, they choose a different path, 1075. resort to strong spells and prayers, asking that at least he stay with them, help them and not give up his flock to be stolen by the wolves. Was it possible to resist tears? Anastasia, the most venerable of the churches, 1080. in which was erected the faith that had been thrown to the ground, Noah’s Ark, which alone escaped the worldwide drowning and retained in itself the seeds of the new Orthodox world! Numerous people flocked to you from everywhere, 1085. because the most dangerous and decisive moment was approaching - either I or the people’s love would prevail. And I, in the midst of them, voiceless, in some kind of darkness, was unable to either stop the noise or promise what they asked for. 1090. One thing was impossible, fear kept me from the other. They were suffocating from the heat, everyone was drenched in sweat. Women, especially those who had already become mothers, strained their voices in fear, children cried, and the day was approaching evening. 1095. Everyone swore that he would not give up his advances, even if the church became a beautiful tomb for him, until he wrested from me one desired word. Someone (for what reason, my hearing, were you not blocked at the same moment), as if forced by grief, said: 1100. “You are tormenting the Trinity with you.” Then, fearing that some misfortune would happen, I did not commit myself to an oath (I will boast a little about God in this, I never utter oaths since I was washed by the gift of the Spirit), 1105. but I gave my word, for which my character vouched, that I would remain with them until certain bishops appeared, whom they were then expecting. Then I hoped to get rid of worries that were alien to me. So with difficulty we parted, 1110. having acquired a shadow of hope for both sides. They imagined that I was now theirs, but I reasoned that I was not staying with them for long. That's how it was. And again the word of God shone forth; 1115. It seemed that the somewhat thinned military formation was again thickening under the efficient orders of the military leader, or that a stronghold destroyed in places was quickly growing under many hands. Those who had previously accepted the bonds of dogma and therefore joined me, when they saw what I had undergone, loved me more deeply. 1120. Some were brought to me by the preached Trinity, the teaching about Which was banished for a long time, but I will not say that it was completely buried long ago; no, it was a domestic sermon, and now she was returning to her fatherland. She was here before, then she stopped, but now she has appeared again, 1125. thus certifying the resurrection from the dead. And in others there was respect for my words, perhaps. Others came to me as to a patient ascetic. Others were pleased to see me as the work of their own hands. And let them ask those who know about this, 1130. and others will tell those who do not know, if there are people who would be so far removed from us and from the now prevailing dominion of the Romans, let them, I say, tell it, so that it can be retold in future times, retold as one of the unprecedented disasters in the light of those brought to us by the fickle flow of time, 1135. which mixes with everything good more and more bad. Not to mention the faithful people, this noble fruit of my stomach pain. One can only say about them that 1140. since they did not have a shepherd of the same wisdom with them, just as in lack of will they run to the first moisture that appears and in complete darkness to a small light, so they flocked to me in order to find relief from hunger in my word. 1145. But what would someone say about people who are alien to faith, remembering how they, too, admired the word? There are many paths that have deviated too much from the path of the lawful and infallible. There are many paths that lead to the abyss of destruction. On this path, the molester carries away the image of God, 1150. so that through this he can find some kind of access to it, dividing our thoughts, and not languages, as God divided of old (Gen. 11: 7–9). This was the cause of unsound teachings; some do not know any other God than the random aspiration by which this universe is supposedly composed and governed; 1155. others, instead of one God, introduce many gods and bow to their own works; others deprive everything earthly of Providence and make it dependent on the conjunctions of the stars; others, having become God's chosen people, crucified the Son on the cross, 1160. thinking thereby to honor the Father; others place piety in the fulfillment of unimportant commandments; some deny Angels, spirits and the resurrection or sweep aside the prophetic Scriptures, others honor Christ in the shadow of the law; 1165. others honor Depth, Silence - pre-temporal natures, and eons-wifes; these are the children of Simon the Magus and their offspring, now composing the Divinity from letters, now the Old and New Testaments 1170. attributing to two gods - the cruel and the all-good, now introducing three motionless natures: spiritual, earthy and the middle between both, now accepting with delight Manes's primeval darkness, now wickedly honoring Montan's spirit, 1175. or the vain exaltation of Novatus, finally, seducers of the entire Trinity and dividers of the indivisible Nature. And from them, like from one hydra, multi-headed wickedness bred; from them is he who 1180. calls the Spirit alone a creature, and he who adds the Son to the Spirit; from them are those who introduce a modern God to Caesar, or inappropriately attribute a ghostly image to Christ, or admit another Son, an earthly one, 1185. or claim that a man who is not complete, without intelligence, is saved. These, I will say briefly, are the sections of right faith; These are the founders of all absurd teachings 22. And which of them was then so stubborn as not to incline their ears to my words? 1190. Some were captivated by the power of the teachings, others were made meek by the way of expression. Without hostility, not so much with reproach as with compassion, I spoke; lamented, and did not amaze, and did not exalt himself, like others, 1195. by the fleeting and fickle time. For what fellowship has the Word with earthly power? I did not make a shield for my foolishness out of insolence. It is too clever and is it only natural for a cuttlefish to spew out blackness from its insides, 1200. in order to avoid accusations in the dark. On the contrary, in my words I observed meekness and decency, as a defender of the meek, compassionate Word, not striking anyone. Therefore, it is glorious to remain defeated, 1205. but it is even more honorable to gain the upper hand over those acquired by God through involuntary conviction. So it was written on my tablets! But I also had another, equally clearly and beautifully outlined law of teaching, namely the following: 1210. do not recognize this easily acquired and harmful throwing of the tongue as the only path to piety, do not throw around mysterious teachings without any mercy at shows, at feasts, during raptures, amid laughter, when the heart is softened by songs, do not throw around with a tongue that has not first been cleared of vile speeches, 1215. do not throw hearing that is defiled and alien to Christ, and not to make a joke of what is difficult to understand; but to prove piety most of all by fulfilling the commandments, by feeding the poor, receiving the strange, going after the sick, 1220. constantly spending time in psalmody, prayer, sighing, tears, reclining on the bare ground, in curbing the belly, in mortifying the feelings, in subordinating irritability, laughter and lips to good order, and finally pacifying the flesh with the power of the Spirit. 1225. For there are many paths to salvation, many paths leading to communion with God. They must be followed, and not just the path of the word. The teaching and simple faith, which for the most part is implanted by God without further ado, is sufficient. 1230. And if faith were available only to the wise, then our God would be extremely poor. But you are a lover; you are filled with jealousy; It’s unbearable for you if your words don’t flow! And in this case, I wish you no more than is characteristic of a person. 1235. Speak, but with fear; speak, but not always, not about everything, not to everyone and not everywhere; know to whom, how much, where and how to speak. Every thing, as you hear, has its time, and the best thing for everything is in moderation, according to the words of one of the wise. 1240. The borders of the Medes and Phrygians do not agree with each other; The external teachings and my words do not agree with each other. Those speak for show, in a meeting of young people and as a model for them; success and failure are not important in them. 1245. Nothing is as powerless as the shadow of a shadow. But we have one goal - to tell the truth. Therefore, one cannot say a word without fear, one way or another. The path is surrounded by cliffs on both sides; As soon as you step off it, you will immediately fall, and you will fall straight into the gates of hell. 1250. Therefore, special care is needed in words in order to speak intelligently and listen intelligently. Sometimes, equally avoiding both, one must use a truthful measure - fear. Hearing is less at risk than language. 1255. But there will be even less danger if you do not accept anything and hear nothing, but run away. Why do you touch gnus 23 and kill your mind? Why should you approach the breath of a mad dog? I learned this from the principles of Scripture, with which I was nourished even before I had gathered my own mind. 1260. In this way I acted on citizens and on outsiders and became one of the rich farmers, although not all of my harvest was suddenly ready for harvest. And some of the thorns had just ceased to be wild, and some were leveled, others had only seed embedded in them, 1265. some were still in milk, some barely had a sprout emerging from the ground, others gave green, others had a stem tied, others swelled, and others turned white for the harvest, some were on the threshing floor, others lay in heaps, some were blown out, others became clean. wheat, 1270. and others with bread, which is the end of agriculture. But this bread now feeds not the laboring farmer, but those who have not shed a drop of sweat. Here I would like to finish my word and not say anything about what is unworthy of speech. 1275. But now the further course of affairs does not allow me to do this, some of which were successful for me, but about others I don’t know what to say, what category to classify them in and whom to praise. Such was my situation, 1280. when the autocrat 24 suddenly arrived from Macedonia, after he had stopped a cloud of barbarians, who were inspired by both the hope of their numbers and their audacity. The sovereign, as far as faith in God was concerned, was not malicious, could keep simpler souls within proper limits, he himself zealously revered the Trinity 1285. (I say this from a sincere heart, and the same is confirmed by everyone who was safely established on a solid foundation), but he did not have such ardor of spirit as to equalize the present with the past, 1290. leaving time itself to repel the blows of time. Or perhaps he had ardor of spirit, but it was not equaled by (how to call it, teach yourself) courage or audacity. Or perhaps it would be better to call this prudence, because I myself recognize it as legal not to force, but to persuade, 1295. and I find this more useful both for ourselves and for those whom we bring to God. The involuntary, restrained by force, like an arrow stopped by a bowstring and a mighty hand, or a stream blocked from everywhere in its flow, at the first opportunity, despises the restraining force. 1300. But what is voluntary is forever firm, because it is bound by insoluble bonds of love. With such a thought, I believe, the tsar did not yet give room for fear, he attracted everyone with meekness, wanting it better for them to act freely, and not out of obedience only to the written law. How quickly the delighted sovereign arrived to us, 1305. who were three times more delighted at his arrival, then how much he honored me at our first meeting, how favorably he himself spoke to me and listened to me! But do I need to talk about this? It would be too shameful if they thought that I, 1310. for whom only one thing is dear, value such things dearly - God. But this is how he concluded the conversation with me: “Through me,” he said, “God gives you and your labors this church.” These words seemed incredible until they were carried out, 1315. because in the city they were preparing to resist this with all measures; the boiling of passions was strong and terrible, they decided not to give in, but to retain everything they owned, even if something unpleasant happened. And if they were forced to make a concession by force, then they would only have to turn a little anger towards me, 1320. over which it was not difficult to gain the upper hand. But the sovereign said so, and I felt in myself a certain trembling of pleasure mixed with a shudder of horror. My Christ, who calls us to suffer with the suffering that He Himself endured! Even then you were the rewarder of my labors, and now be my comforter in suffering! 1325. The appointed time has arrived. The church was surrounded by warriors who stood in rows in great numbers, armed. There, like sea sand, or a cloud, or a series of rolling waves, all the people strove, constantly arriving, with anger and prayers, 1330. with anger at me, with prayers to the sovereign. The streets, lists, squares, even every place, houses with two, three floors were filled from top to bottom with spectators, men, women, children, elders. Everywhere there is bustle, sobs, tears, screams - 1335. an exact likeness of a city taken by storm. And I, a valiant warrior and commander, with this weak and weakened body, barely catching my breath, walked among the army and the emperor, raising my gaze to grief 1340. and seeking help for myself in hopes alone. Finally, I don’t know how, I entered the church. The following circumstance is also worth noting. Then it seemed to many even beyond any word, especially to those for whom everything they see is not simple, 1345. especially at the most important moments of time. And I, who are no less inclined to believe the extraordinary than anyone else, have no reason not to believe those who assert this; because to dispute everything indiscriminately is worse than to be ready to believe everything unquestioningly. 1350. One shows gullibility, and the other shows insolence. What kind of miracle is this? Let my book proclaim it to the world, and let such a gift of grace not be hidden from posterity. It was morning, but it was still night over the whole city, because the clouds covered the circle of the sun. 1355. This was least appropriate for that time, because clear weather is most pleasant during celebrations. The enemies also found pleasure in this - they interpreted that what was being done was not pleasing to God. And this caused me a secret sadness in my heart. 1360. But as soon as I and the porphyry-bearer were already inside the sacred lattice, general praise rose up from everyone to the invoked God, exclamations were heard, hands were stretched out in the air. Suddenly, 1365. by God's command, the sun shone through the parting clouds, so that the entire building, hitherto darkened, instantly became lightning-like, and everything in the church took on the appearance of an ancient tabernacle, which was covered by God's Lordship. 1370. Everyone’s faces and hearts became clearer. This sight inspired courage. In loud exclamations, as the only thing missing to real joy, they demand me; They say that for the city it will be the first, 1375. most important, best reward from the sovereign power, if I am given to the throne of Constantinople. This was the demand of both officials and commoners; everyone wanted it equally. 1380. The women above cried out about this, almost forgetting what decency requires of them. Everything sounded like some incredible peals of thunder. Finally, ordering one of those sitting with me to stand up (and I did not have the strength in my voice then, from embarrassment and fear), 1385. through someone else’s lips I uttered the following words: “Hold back, hold back your screams; now, of course, it is time for thanksgiving; Then we’ll get down to business.” The people received my words with applause, 1390. because everyone likes moderation. And the autocrat praised me when leaving the church. This was the end of this meeting, which frightened me so much; and all the fear ended with one sword being drawn, 1395. but again sheathed, and the insolence of the fiery people was stopped. But what happened after, I don’t know how to continue talking about it, because the subject itself confuses me. It would be better if someone else finished the story I started, because I am ashamed to hear myself praised, 1400. when someone else speaks well of me. This is my law! However, I will speak in moderation as much as I can. I stayed at home. The city, after it began to belong to us, stopped its menacing roars at me, but still uttered muffled groans, like a giant, which, 1405., as they say, struck by thunder near Mount Etna, spewed out both smoke and fire from the depths. What should I have done in this case? Teach me for God’s sake, say, you who rule now, you are a collection of pitiful youths, 1410. among whom meekness is considered weakness, and stubbornness and evil behavior are considered courage. Should I, taking advantage of circumstances and power beyond measure, push, drive, rage, ignite? Or should I have healed with saving medicines? 1415. In the latter case, it was possible to derive two benefits: to make them moderate by their moderation, and to gain fame and favor for themselves. It was fair; I will always act this way, and most of all, it was more decent to act then. 1420. Firstly, it was necessary to show that I attribute this not so much to a happy coincidence of circumstances, but to the power of God. Having the most reliable advisor - the Word, what advice do I receive from this good advisor? Everyone then bowed to the pride of the officials, 1425. especially those who had power at court and were incapable of anything else but collecting money; It is difficult to say with what zeal and with what intrigues they then came to the very gates of the king, accused each other, misinterpreted, 1430. used even piety for evil - in a word, they dared to do all sorts of shameful things. I recognized that it was best for me to be loved and not persecuted by hatred. I wanted to gain respect by being rarely seen; He devoted most of his time to God and purification, 1435. and left the doors of the mighty of the earth to others. Moreover, I saw that some, having offended me, as they admitted to themselves, were worried about the consequences, while others, naturally, had a need for new benefits from me. Therefore, I delivered some from fear, and helped others, according to each person’s need and as much as I was able. 1440. As an example, I will tell you about one of many cases. One day I stayed at home, not doing business due to illness, which visited me, visited me more than once along with my labors; and this is the bliss that I indulged in, according to my envious people! 1445. This was my situation; suddenly several commoners come to me, and with them a young man, pale, with disheveled hair, in sad clothes. I dangled my legs a little from my bed, as if frightened by such a phenomenon. The others, having said as best they could, 1450. many thanks to both God and the king for giving us this day, saying many words in praise of me, left. And the young man suddenly fell at my feet 1455 and remained with them as some kind of silent and motionless petitioner from horror. I asked: who is he, where is he from, what does he need? But there was no other answer except loud exclamations. He cried, sobbed, wrung his hands. And my tears began to flow. 1460. When they dragged him away forcibly, because he did not listen to the words, one of those who were present said to me: “This is your murderer; if you still see God’s light, it is because you are under God’s protection. This tormentor of his conscience comes to you voluntarily, not a well-meaning murderer, but a noble accuser of himself, 1465. and brings tears as the price of blood.” So he spoke; I was touched by these words, and I said this permission to the unfortunate man: “May God save you! And for me, the saved one, it doesn’t matter anymore to show myself merciful to the murderer. 1470. Insolence made you mine. Be careful not to disgrace me and God.” That's what I told him. And just as nothing beautiful remains hidden, the city suddenly softens, like iron on fire. 1475. And in the discussion of the glorified riches with which the rulers of the entire universe enriched the churches at all times, and those treasures, and the income collected from everywhere, in which I did not find any account 1480. neither according to the records of the previous primates, nor among the keepers of the treasures, who had all this in their hands, if I did not go into research and verification, as others advised me and why even forced, did not accept anyone from outside, which would serve to insult the sacrament, 1485. then what do you think about this? Let them give an account of what someone had, and not of what someone should have received. He who is partial to wealth condemns this act of mine; and whoever is above this passion will greatly approve of it. If, in any case, gluttony is bad, 1490. then it is even worse to be spiritually insatiable. If everyone talked about money like this, there would never be such disorder in the churches. But I have no intention of entering into such research; I am only talking about what relates to the priesthood and brings us closer to God. 1495. The opponents also spread the rumor that I did not have enough people to fill even the porches; This is how the people were previously divided when we were poor; So everyone who now has a full church, even full churches, despised me! 1500. And this was the subject of my care; not to mention the fact that I cared about the poor, about monks, about virgins serving at the church, about strangers, about passers-by, about prisoners, about psalmody, about all-night tears, about husbands and wives practicing honest deeds, 1505. and about everything that pleases God Himself when done decently. But destructive envy does not calm down, which is hurt by everything, either openly or secretly. My victory becomes the beginning of disasters for me. To establish the pious throne, all the primates of the people gathered, no matter how many of them there were in the East, except Egypt, 1510. until the new Rome, I don’t know, moved by some kind of God’s broadcasts from the inner depths of land and sea. Their leader was a very pious husband, 1515. simple and simple in disposition; he was entirely in God; his bright gaze, inspiring respect, curbed insolence and revealed to those looking at him a field cultivated by the Spirit. In this image, who does not recognize the primate of the Church of Antioch, 1520. who really was as he was named, and whose name fully corresponded to his qualities, because both his name and morals are honey-bearing 25. He suffered a lot for the Spirit of God, cultivating spiritual gifts in himself with bright deeds, although he was led for a short time by an alien hand. 1525. These primates confirm me on the venerable throne, no matter how much I cry or complain about this. At least, they claim not completely against their will, for which there was only one reason - be my witness in this, Word! What is this reason? It would be unacceptable to hide the truth. 1530. He who desires something blindly hopes for it. When the spirit is in full swing, then everything seems comfortable. In such cases, I, like anyone else, am highly intelligent. Therefore, in the dreams of a vain heart, I assumed that as soon as I acquired the power of this throne, since the appearance would add a lot of weight, I would immediately bring into agreement, unfortunately, those who were separated from each other, like a choirmaster, 1535. who, standing in the middle of two choirs and prescribing the law to one with one hand, and to the other with the other, makes one choir out of them. And isn’t this the height of disaster? Isn’t this worthy of copious tears, 1540. strong sobbing and torment, which no one, either ancient or modern, has indulged in in any sorrowful event, no matter how many misfortunes have been encountered, not excluding that, known to everyone, the dispersion of Israel, 1545. scattered by Christ-killing hatred? These leaders and teachers of the nations, givers of the Spirit, shining from the heights of their thrones with the saving teaching 1550. and constantly preaching peace among the churches with a broadcast voice, rebelled against each other with such grief that with menacing exclamations they gathered supporters for themselves, accusing others, being themselves accused, indulging in strong movements, running from place to place, 1555. plundering what they only managed to seize before others, in a passion for lust and unity of command (how and in what words will I describe this?) they have already destroyed (as I said at the beginning of this word) the whole universe. 1560. Their disputes apparently separate the West from the East more than the difference in terrain and climate. The latter, if not in extremes, then in their average states, have some unity. But there is no longer anything connecting these divided among themselves, not out of piety, put forward as an excuse by hatred, 1565. ready for lies, but because of a dispute about thrones. Who am I talking about? Is it really about bishops? Not so much about bishops, because I know enough about both 26, but about those who inopportunely stand for both, fanning the flames that were already flaring up, 1570. perfectly extracting their own benefits from the cause of friends, if only it is really wonderful, and not extremely bad! From these disasters I also gained something for my share. When the primate of the Antiochian Church, whom I recently praised, 1575. filled with both measurable and unmeasurable years, after many (as we hear) exhortations about reconciliation, which he was said to have made to his friends before, departed from here into the angelic face, and then with a wonderful accompaniment and confluence of the city, 1580. especially then, as they said, saddened, transferred to his own church as a wonderful treasure for those who knew him, then we are asked to discuss a question that did not require consultation. It was put together by rebellious and malicious people, 1585. who had in mind some [other] primate to oppose the one who was now alone 27 remaining on the throne. Much was said on both sides, much was proposed for the purpose of reconciliation, and much served to increase evil. Then I, for my part, made proposals, 1590. which I recognized as better and more conducive to ending the disasters. It seems to me, friends, I said, that not all of you comprehend the matter in the same way and want my word to concern not exactly what should now be discussed, 1595. but to evade the necessary question as far as possible. You are discussing about one city 28, and this is in order to now create even more disputes. This is the goal that you are trying to achieve and for which you require help and my hand. And I have a word about a much more important and general matter. 1600. You see the great circle of the earth, imprinted with streams of the precious Blood of God, Who suffered in the form of man and gave Himself up as a ransom price; you see a circle of ground consecrated by many other secondary sacrifices. 1605. He is shaken by two (I will say this) Angels, but they (I say this with sorrow) are not worthy of such an honor, but on the contrary, since they are Angels, they are all the more worthy not to quarrel because of them and do even worse, 1610. if only the best is worthy of the best. While the divine bishop was still alive 29 and it remained unknown whether the Western bishops, until then irritated against him, would ever accept him, 1615. It was still excusable to slightly offend these (as they say) defenders of the laws; because, just as the meekness of this man served as some kind of medicine against anger, so ignorance gave a lot of boldness. Now, when the storm is no longer there and God has granted silence to His Church, 1620. now what, in my words, is needed? Accept my offer, a prudent offer that exceeds the wisdom of the young, because we old men cannot convince them of their ebullience, which always gives way to the desire for vain glory. Let the throne be given to the power of the one who previously owns it. 1625. What is the harm if we mourn this husband 30 longer than the time prescribed for this by the Old Law? Then the matter will be decided by old age and the necessary and beautiful limit common to our entire family. He 31 will move where he has long desired, 1630. having betrayed our spirit to God who gave it, and we, by the unanimous consent of all the people and wise bishops, with the assistance of the Spirit, will then give someone else to the throne. 1635. And let this be the only end to the disorder! Then, or, what is most important, we will acquire for ourselves something alien; for now, as I see, the West is alien to us, or, which is the second benefit, the numerous inhabitants of the city 32, tired of the length of time, will agree in opinions. 1640. May this storm that troubles the world at last subside, let it subside, I say! Let us take pity on those who have now fallen into schism 33, or are close to it, or may fall into schism later. None of us would want to experience how this will end if we prevail for a long time. 1645. The decisive moment has come whether our venerable and sacred dogma will be preserved for the future or will fall irrevocably from discord. Just as the fragility of colors, although not entirely rightly, is blamed on the painter 1650. or the morals of the students are blamed on the teachers, so is a secret guide, and even more so a secret guide, if he is bad, not a desecration of the sacrament? Let 34 defeat us in small things, so that we ourselves can win the most important victory, be saved for God 1655. and save the world, which was destroyed to our detriment. Not every victory brings glory. Good deprivation is better than bad possession. The Trinity knows this; This is also proven by the bright preaching of my boldness, which was met with stones in 1660 and made me the object of envy of evil people. Today I speak simply and truthfully, I speak as much as I know, in accordance with the purpose. If any of the malicious ones thinks that either I am saying this out of human-pleasing 1665. (because he himself intends to sell himself, and now there really are people who, having a lot of gold and the same amount of zeal, buy votes in favor of those elected), or, according to the custom of many, I do not lose sight of his own benefit (because he himself manages to hide in the disorder he has created or is planning to grab something from it for himself), 1670. – then let it be left to the final fire to decide! But allow me to remain without a throne and lead a life, although not glorious, but nevertheless comfortable. I will go and calm down where there are no such evils; 1675. because this is much better than living with your neighbors, but not having the power to persuade others to your opinion and agree with others yourself, contrary to reason. Let those who have designs on this throne come to the middle. 1680. And he will take the place of many worthy and bad shepherds. This is what you should talk about! My word has been said. So I said, and they shouted each their own; it was the same as a herd of jackdaws gathered in one heap, a riotous crowd of young people, a common worker, a whirlwind raising a cloud of dust, raging winds. No one 1685. who has the fear of God and respect for the episcopal throne would want to enter into a conference with such people. They were like wasps that dart here and there and suddenly jump right into everyone's face. But the sedate assembly of elders, instead of trying to discipline the young, followed them. 1690. And look, what a commendable reasoning! It is necessary, they say, for our deeds to flow along with the sun, there perceiving the beginning from where God shone for us under the veil of flesh. What then? We are taught not to honor the cycle, but to recognize, 1695. that Christ’s flesh is the firstfruits of our entire race. And if the beginning was made here 35, it is perhaps because, as another will say, that here there is more insolence and, therefore, here it was more convenient for Christ to die, but the consequence of death was resurrection, and the consequence of resurrection was salvation. 1700. Shouldn’t those who held such thoughts, as I said, yield to those who knew the matter well? And from this it is clear how highly intelligent they are in everything else. But what is it also that the beautiful and sweet source of the ancient faith, which combined the venerable nature of the Trinity 1705. and was once taught at Nicaea, this, I say, source of faith, as I saw, was pitifully outraged by the salty streams of teachings, which were spread by people of doubtful faith, who, holding the middle, accept every opinion that the ruler pleases? And this would be most comforting, 1710. if they really stuck to the middle, and were not clearly transferred to the opposite side, these bishops, now just learning to know God, yesterday teachers, and now disciples, first secret guides, and then secret guides, 1715. leading people to the perfection and together, I don’t know why, declaring their own vices, and declaring them without tears. Isn’t it a strange thing to confess your weaknesses without tears? That's how these people are; 1720. because everything, they say, is servile to time. Isn’t it most pleasant to acquire something in jest, something that in many cases cannot be acquired through labor, something that cannot be acquired by other means, or even bought? And we are somehow too philanthropic. They placed a preaching pulpit in front of the altars 1725 and cried out to everyone: “Come here, whoever wants to, has changed his faith at least two or three times! It's time for the market. No one leaves without profit. Time is the most changeable of all; 1730. maybe the bone will lie on the other side; you failed, quit again. It is not a prudent thing to become attached to one faith when we know that there are many ways of life.” What comes out of this? That multi-component idol that anciently appeared in a dream - gold, then silver, 1735. copper, iron, then a shard trampled underfoot (Dan. 2:31-33). I'm afraid that a stone will crush all this. And the Moabites and Ammonites, who in ancient times were not allowed to enter the Church, are now allowed to enter it. But tell me: didn’t you yourself praise this before? 1740. And who once had power in councils? It is true that there were councils, no matter under whose chairmanship they were then (I’ll wait a while to say what brings me to shame); but everyone had power over them or, what is the same, no one had power, 1745. because multiple command is the same lack of command. And, fortunately, the illness prevailed over me, which often kept me hopelessly at home for a long time. I had one thing before my eyes - relocation from this life, which freed me from all troubles. Therefore, whatever presented itself, let it be the law. 1750. It is true that there were people at the council who, by force and with difficulty, because they had so much boldness, entered the meeting; but their excuse is ignorance of evil; they were caught by the ambiguity of the teachings; what they preached openly seemed pious, 1755. as a product not at all like their parents. But then will I allow this numerous rabble of Christ-sellers into the cathedral, when they begin to mix dirt with the fragrance of the pure world; because bad things are communicated more easily than good things. 1760. They did not like the introducer of new teachings (as the daring call the prudent), but the prudent one did not like them either. And so Lot and the patriarch Abraham go, one in this direction and the other in the opposite direction, 1765. so as not to be embarrassed by the multitude of their possessions. Is it necessary to say how many times and with what words you, dearest ones, tempted this gray hair, now offering me primacy, now, as sincere friends, from your sincere friend Gregory 1770. (alas! definitely sincere, but in unanimity for the worse) asking for something, namely: assistance to you in everything? What about everything? Who came up with the idea that the crowd of people, and not God’s Word, would persuade me to do something? Rather, the rivers will flow upward 1775. and the fire will take a direction opposite to its usual desire, rather than I will change anything in my salvation. From that time on, my foot avoided your meetings, and this was done clearly; because I changed my house, escaping from the depths of the Church, 1780. avoiding bad conversations and meetings. However, how much those who were loyal to me, especially the people, regretted this, not to mention everyone! In loud exclamations they begged, raising their hands to God, conjuring, mourning me, 1785. as already dead. How much torment! How many tears! How and whose heart could bear this? “And you leave us - your, as you called, ear, once skinny, but now ripe and ready for harvest. You leave the people who have recently been added to the Church, you leave those of whom some stand at your doors and wait, 1790. when they are opened, others have already been brought into the courtyard by you, and others themselves catch outsiders. And who do you leave it to? Who will bring up your birth? Respect your labors, with which you exhausted yourself, and give the rest of your breath to us and to God. 1795. May this church escort you from this life!” Such were the blows, but I strengthened myself. A little more, and God will provide deliverance. For suddenly in 1800 those invited to assist in the establishment of peace arrived; Egyptian and Macedonian workers of God's laws and sacraments arrived. But they gave me a sense of something Western and harsh. They were opposed by a host of wise men from the East. Both of them came together in 1805 (I will say something in imitation of the tragedians), like boars, sharpening their fierce teeth at each other and squinting their fiery eyes. Having touched on many issues, they were driven more by irritation than by reason, and in my case they saw something very bitter, 1810. when they began to go through the laws that had long been no longer in force, from which I was most clearly free, and they did this not out of hostility towards me, not out of a desire to see the throne empty for others, no! 1815. - but, as they openly assured me in secret conversations with me, in order to confuse those who elevated me to the throne, finding their impudence unbearable, which they showed both before and in new affairs. 1820. And I, crushed by disasters and illness, like a tied horse, did not stop mentally kicking, complaining about enslavement and constraint of bonds, expressing a desire to see my pastures and this desert of mine. As soon as they touched on what I said, I immediately broke the bonds and 1825. (although, as is obvious, I will never assure people of this, infected with lust, but this is fair) joyfully seized on such an excuse. When I caught the time, I went to the middle and said the following: “You, whom God has gathered to confer on matters pleasing to God, 1830. consider the question about me to be of secondary importance. No matter how my case ends, although they condemn me in vain, it does not deserve the attention of such a council. Direct your thoughts to what is more important, unite, and finally strengthen mutual bonds of love. 1835. How long will they laugh at us as indomitable people who have learned only one thing - to breathe quarrels? Give the right hand of fellowship to one another with zeal. And I will be the prophet Jonah, and although I am not to blame for the storm, I sacrifice myself to save the ship. 1840. Take me and throw me by lot. Some hospitable whale in the depths of the sea will give me shelter. And from this moment you begin your like-mindedness, then extend to other things. 1845. Let this place be called the place of space (Gen. 26:22). This will turn into glory for me too. And if you stop at me, then this will be a dishonor for me. I give the law to stand for the laws. If you keep this mindset, nothing will be difficult for you. I was not happy when I ascended the throne, 1850. and now I step down from it voluntarily. My physical condition also convinces me of this. My only duty is death; everything is given to God. But my only concern is for You, my Trinity! Oh, if only you had some well-trained tongue, at least full of freedom and zeal, as your protector! 1855. Farewell and remember my labors!” So I said; they shied away from a decisive word, and I left the meeting both with joy and with some kind of despondency - with joy that my labors would cease somewhat, with sorrow, because I did not know what would happen to the people; 1860. and who doesn’t lament for orphaned children? Such were my feelings; it is known only to themselves and God whether these underwater cliffs, these ambushes in the depths of the sea, these destruction of ships did not hide something more than what was shown outwardly. Others say so, but I will remain silent. 1865. I do not have time to recognize the intricacies of malice. I am practicing in acquiring simplicity of heart, on which salvation depends. And to be saved is my only concern. However, I know, and I know more than was necessary, that the council immediately honored me with unquestioning consent. 1870. This is how the fatherland rewards friends! This is how it was with me with them; But what about the sovereign? Did I bow, bend, fall to his right hand? Did you say any pleading word to him? Did he send as intercessor any other of his friends, the most powerful at the court of 1875 and especially those who were disposed towards me? Did he pour gold, did he resort to the help of this strong ruler, trying not to fall from the throne? I leave such measures to other people who are too flexible. And I, as soon as I could, came to the porphyry-bearer 1880. and in the presence of many who were watching what I would say, I said: “And I, the generous king, ask your omnipotence for some mercy. I ask you not for gold, not for multi-colored marbles, not for coverings for the mysterious Meal, 1885. I am not asking for my relatives to receive high ranks or be honored to serve in your person; asking for this is typical of those who do not ask for much; and I consider myself worthy of more important things. Grant me one thing, let me give in a few to envy. 1890. I wish to honor thrones, but only from afar. I was exhausted, seeing that everyone hated me, even my friends; because I cannot turn my attention to anything other than God. Demand their desired consent; 1895. if not out of fear of God and not out of fear of punishment, then, at least, out of pleasing you, let them lay down their weapons. Erect yourself a victorious monument in this bloodless battle, as you have already erected, crushing the unbridled audacity of the barbarians. Demand this too (I pointed to the gray hair and at the same time to the traces of the sweat I had shed for God); 1900. She does not refuse to endure for the good of the world. You know that you placed me on the throne against my will.” The autocrat applauded when I said this; Others also applauded. And I receive what I ask for, although, as they say, with difficulty, I nevertheless receive it. 1905. What else worries me after this? I try to convince everyone to accept this indifferently and out of love for me, and out of irritation at the bad deed, and not at all think of any resistance. I used affection, praise, and applauded people with malicious intentions; 1910. acted this way on the altar servers, on outsiders, on the leaders of the flock, on those who had long belonged to the Church and who had joined it recently and could not bear to be deprived of their shepherd; 1915 had such an effect on the bishops, who were extremely amazed by this, for many, as soon as they learned about the decision of the council, hastily rushed out like arrows of lightning, covered their ears, threw up their hands, and did not even want to see another one being elevated to my throne. End of word. Here I am, a breathing dead man, here I am, 1920. defeated and at the same time (isn’t it a miracle?) crowned, having acquired God and divine friends in exchange for a throne and empty pomp! Insult me, be complacent, ride, sages, compose a song about my misfortunes, 1925. sing it in meetings, at feasts and in churches, proclaim your victory like roosters, stretched out and raising your head high, strike your sides with your elbows among the madmen! One wanted, and you all won. 1930. And if I myself wanted this, then what envy - to deprive me of this glory, boasting that they removed me from the throne by force! If I did not want to, be ashamed of the bad thing you have done, who yesterday elevated you to the throne and now expelled you. What will I do to avoid this? I will be with the Angels. 1935. Whatever my life will be, no one will harm it, but no one will do any good. I will focus on God. And let others’ speeches about me spread like light breezes. I'm fed up with them; I was often showered with both slander and excessive praise. 1940. I am looking for one thing for myself - to live far from the evil, where I could seek God with one mind, where my old age would be nourished by the comforting hope of heavenly blessings. What will I bring as a gift to the churches? Tears. God brought me to this in 1945, subjecting my life to many vicissitudes. And where will it lead me, tell me, God’s Word. I pray to You to lead me to an unshakable abode, where my Trinity and Its combined radiance, the Trinity, Whose and obscure shadows delight me. 12. About myself and about the bishops 36 Perhaps I should, sealed with the commandments of Him, Who suffered, bear the insult caused to me, and, having suffered, hold back your tongue, so that if the fight is brought to an end, 5. I could have hoped for a more complete reward. In fact, it is fuller among those who bear the heaviest labor; the reward of those who do not bear labor is meager. However, lest it seem that the bad ones rule above everything, and that their path is smooth, 10. and no one opposes them, I, although who conquers all and purifies everything with justice - even if we don’t know everything here because I will still amaze you with my modest speech 15. murderers: after all, those who administer justice unjustly are murderers, shedding the blood of innocent souls, everyone I “created” and led. But I will say what I wanted to say without being at all afraid reproaches about what is prohibited 20. everything, and what I hate most of all. I won't name names, of course. so that it doesn't seem like I'm revealing what I should (besides, I won’t remember everyone in the same way) – May my lips not dare to go that far. 25. Indeed, I know many who are worthy of great praise. But everyone who is among the bad and who even let him be immediately captured and tamed. The verbal sword will cut down vice. – What does it consist of? - You will show this: if you oppose my speech, 30. You will openly blame yourself. So, here is my path: anyone who wants to, let him hit me. After all, long ago I learned to endure the blows of stones 38 . You can trust a lion, a leopard can become tame and even a snake may run away from you, although you are afraid of it; 35. but beware of one thing - bad bishops, without being embarrassed by the dignity of their throne! After all, a high position is available to everyone, but grace is not available to everyone. Penetrating through the sheep's skin, see the wolf behind it. Convince me not with words, but with deeds. 40. I hate teachings that I oppose Praising the color of the coffin, I feel disgusted to the stench of the decayed members within it 39 . - How is this possible? What does it mean? Why are you always talking brilliant speeches, can you say it beautifully this time too? 45. – Because it is natural for someone who suffers (for the sake of relief) pour out your sorrow God, friends, parents, neighbors, guests, or at least future tense and future But I will speak from a little distance. No one can say that the toilers 50. receive a reward for their work in this life: jokes Everything makes its way in the night and darkness. God tests some with fire, and surrounds others with darkness, until the fire illuminates everything. One lived a difficult life, 55. moaning, spending nights without sleep, dissolving their limbs in tears, limiting himself even to a simple bed and food, taking care to study the inspired Scriptures and constantly beating yourself up with internal experiences. What else have I missed? What did I do wrong? 60. Another picked the fruits of his youth, laughed, sang, indulged in gluttony and all the pleasures of the senses did not cause constipation, was like a stallion without a bridle. Then, for one (that is, for the sage. - Transl.) 65. (however, these are not misfortunes: after all, it does not concern the sages nothing from here) as most people think they are, who therefore do not admit at all that the unfortunate person can Another, successful in everything, is successful in this: that is, to be considered in the highest degree a virtuous person. 70. I am a witness to the above, I was above the things visible to sensual eyes, and my mind communicated only with the realm of the intelligible. I left fame, property, hopes, literary activity, enjoyed the fact that he was freed from luxury, 75. enjoyed life. I was free from insults (however, you should expect everything, even if you are a sage!). But someone 40, tearing me away from my blessings, took me away against my expectations to foreign lands. I won't say who it was. Was it the Divine Spirit, or were my sins the reason 80. What did I pay for my exaltation? But the external reason for this was this: the meetings of the shepherds and the Orthodox people (although they were not yet numerous) Finally we saw a faint ray of light: they could already confess relatively freely 85. They gradually began to breathe more freely again among chattering tongues and numerous misconceptions: they suffered from all this, but had no protection. And is it possible for a rose to be pleasant among thorns? or a ripe grape fruit among unripe bunches?! 90. So, this is [the state of affairs when] I have come, a pious wanderer, yielding to spells and many entreaties, to reject which would be a manifestation on my part But when I came, leaving the land of Cappadocia, which is a stronghold of true faith for everyone 95. (but not the people or any of my duties: all these are the machinations of enemies, false speeches, an ignorantly invented cover for their envy...) – I want you to now say what came next: for you are witnesses of my labors. 100. Unless something unfavorable, harsh or harmful have I said or done during these two plus years 41? Except perhaps for the fact that I spared bad people, who stoned me at the very beginning, and I bore it patiently. Truly, very pious, 105. So that I may continue to endure the suffering of Christ. You see what the poor bring as gifts to God. But we can even blame this on ourselves, if we like. Someone said that the sensory mind 42 is like an aphid, corroding bone. I was convinced of this from my own experience: 110. my body, formerly strong as copper, but now is already sinking to the ground. But I still can't give anything else, although I owe more even if I contribute everything. What else can happen to someone who has tied himself However, it is time for me to return to the speech I started. 115. They called me, and I rallied the people who were I gave the word to the thirsty flock, sowed faith rooted in God, spread the light of the Trinity to those who were previously I am like leaven in milk and medicine 120. thanks to the power of persuasion; so alone already joined [the true faith], others were close [to this], while others were only But the mood of everyone, which was previously stormy, changed, and the true teaching evoked reciprocal love: there was hope to develop complete success from this moderate location; 125. The happy city of Rome knows this 44 - here I am, in charge In this way, I mean those who take precedence in it. These people unexpectedly gave me some honor, but it’s better for them to have at least a little fame, than to be first in honor among all the rest: 130. in fact, they are much more powerful than everyone else! When I was with them I was held in high esteem and even now, when I have retired, they condemn the bad. After all, they couldn't do anything other than this, and I myself didn’t ask them to do anything. “Oh city, city!” 135. (if we exclaim in the spirit of tragedy). But my respectable and well-bred fellow shepherds, bursting with envy (you know the Thrasonides 45: uncouthness does not tolerate culture), took my bodily weakness as an ally, who is a companion to my labors, 140. which everyone should honor, who has worked at least a little for God; they, moreover, referred to the fact that I do not strive to the power of such a great throne, while the surrounding world was torn apart in struggle. So, at the instigation of the demon, having made this accusation, 145. beloved ones willingly sent me away from there, throwing it away, like throwing away some extra load After all, in the eyes of the bad I was a burden, because I had Then they will raise their hands as if they were clean, and offer God “from the heart” cleansing gifts, 150. They will also sanctify the people with mysterious words. These are the same people who, with the help of deceit, drove out (although not entirely against my will, because for me be one of those who sell faith). Some of them, being descendants of tax collectors, 155. They don’t think about anything else except illegal additions; others came from the money changer's shop, after exchanging money, the third - from the plow, scorched by the sun, fourth - from their everyday pick and hoe, others came, leaving a fleet or army, 160. still breathing in the ship's hold or with brands on the body, They imagined themselves as helmsmen and leaders of the people and do not want to give in even in small things. While others are still blacksmith's soot not completely washed off the body, 165. worthy to be scourged or to be exiled to the mill 46. If, before bringing tribute to their masters, they manage take a short break from work, then they immediately become arrogant and deceive some of the people either by persuasion or coercion. 170. They strive upward like scarabs to the sky, rolling a ball, but no longer made of manure, and without lowering his head to the ground as before: they think they have power over the sky, although they talk all sorts of nonsense and can’t even count, 175. how many arms or legs do they have? But isn't all this great evil, unworthy oh dearest?! Let's not think simplistically and it is bad to judge such a great [thing] (although I prefer the humiliated position): 180. Episcopacy, in fact, is not something worse. [On the contrary,] it is absolutely necessary so that one of the best is elected [bishop]: the best; if not the best, then at least (if, of course, my opinion should be taken into account). And [this is important] especially now when the chatteriness is raging 185. and penetrates into great cities and assemblies. And if they remain [in true faith] unshakably, then this is of great benefit to them, and if they do not abide, the harm is abundant. That is why the best people should be elected by you: after all, hardly any person of average ability, 190. even if he had fought zealously, he would have This is the opinion of a judge who is extremely far from lying. But publicans and fishermen will appear to me, former evangelists. After all, they, weak in eloquence, the whole world seemed to be caught in a net with your simple word 195. and even the wise men were caught in their fishing nets, so that in this way the miracle of the Word becomes even greater Moreover, this opinion is shared by many against which my brief but extremely clear speech is directed. Give me the faith of one of the apostles, 200. [give strength] not to have money, travel bag and staff; be scantily clad, have no sandals, live one day at a time, be rich only in hope; to be unskilled in the art of words; to be someone you wouldn't think would rather flatter, 205. [give strength] not to delve into the study of alien teachings. Let someone appear who has such merits, and I will accept everything: not having the gift of speech, shameful, ignorant, bootish. After all, a [righteous] lifestyle covers up [external] shortcomings. If you were one of those, and even if you were a frog catcher, 210. then we will lift you up to the angelic choirs! So show me at least one thing! But is it really do you cast out leprosy? do you raise the dead from the grave? can you stop the paralysis? Give your hand to the suffering and stop the disease! 215. Only in this way can you convince me to neglect knowledge 47. If something consists of two parts - praiseworthy and blameworthy, and you take into account only the first, while the other you willingly pass by in silence, then you very insidiously distort the true image of a thing. 220. Matthew was a publican, but he received respect not as a tax collector, but as a man filled with the Spirit. Peter was the leader of the disciples, but he was "Peter" not as a fisherman, but because he was filled with zeal. His way of life convinces me to honor the fishing net. 225. But I will turn my back on you even if you hide behind something pious: all this is just a trap and a trap. You are like a painter who depicts beautiful forms covered with torn and stricken Either depict all the beauty, or depict nothing! 230. But tell me: can those be called ignorant? who composed such [important] teachings and writings, in which we hardly understand only a little (although we have been taught the art of words since childhood) to explain which, in turn, so much has been written books and such works have been undertaken 235. that everything is filled with brilliant works, being the fruit of meticulous work, written in all languages and distinguished by scientific having as their fruit a sublime interpretation How could they (the apostles - Transl.) manage to convince the kings, accused them and possessed great power of eloquence, 240. [when did they find themselves] before judges and in theaters? How could they convince the wise men, the lawyers, (when they spoke before the people and were skillful if they were not involved in that culture, the knowledge of which you deny them. 245. Perhaps you will speak about the power of the Spirit, and this will be fair, but pay attention to the fact Are you not involved in the Spirit? and, of course, you're very proud of it. Why are you depriving those who strive for it? But of course you are in vain 250. attribute this to the nature of the Spirit and to the righteous: the property of the First is to breathe in the Word (λο᾿ γος), the righteous are inspired by Him, and therefore they So you're confused by your own words oh, you who diligently speak precisely 255. something about which it is better not to chatter, but which must be hidden I know that the spirit of the opponents is silent: It is better for him to remain silent than to say bad things. Open your mouth, O Word of God, of those who speaks correctly, and burden the lips of those 260. who spews out, wheezing, the hissing of asps and pours out fratricidal poison from the heart. could it still be the speech of an ignoramus? What is the truth and how to think better, I will briefly tell you. 265. There were once people who were outstanding like no other, but completely ignorant of belles lettres. After all, the situation is like this: all our speech is twofold - it consists of words and meaning; the first ones are similar to the external one clothing, and the second represents what is inside the body she dresses. 270. Moreover, while in some cases they are good both components, in others only one; but it happens that both components are bad - both education and natural ability as a speaker. We don't show much concern about how things stand with the external side of speech, but let’s turn attention to its internal component. After all, our salvation lies in the inner meaning, 275. although [not just in the sense, but] in the sense, What is the use of a source if it has no outlet, or in a ray of sunshine if it is covered by a cloud? Likewise, a wise thought, when it is silent, like the beauty of a rose hidden 280. ugly cup: it shows its attractiveness when opened by a breath of wind, flaunts If beauty were always hidden, there would be no precious charm of spring. We want nothing more than to give a speech like this 285. as do those who are considered unskilled in speech. Otherwise show ability to speak I would really like to receive at least some of your light. Indeed, if the Scriptures are nothing, Why did I waste so much time? 290. Why did I waste my time “counting” connecting nights with days in labor, so that some understanding [of the Scriptures] may come to me If the Scriptures themselves are good, do not give the labors of the righteous to spiders! 295. Use a simple, shepherd manner of speech - I have nothing against this: moreover, I myself can A regular lunch is often more enjoyable for me prepared by the hands of chefs. Likewise [I enjoy modest] clothing 300. not made, man-made, but natural [beauty]. Let the mind rise, and that will be enough for us. No grace - let's leave it to those who strive for it! Don't give me the arguments of Sextus and Pyrrho! Be gone, Chrysippus! Move away, Stagirite! 305. Do not love Plato’s sweet speech! Throw away the beauty of [those sages from] whose teachings Philosophize in the simplicity of words! We like you, although you speak simply. Teach us if you want, but teach us. 310. Who is the Trinity for me? How God Connects and how, on the contrary, it is divided, while united One and Trinity? What is the nature of Angels? what is the nature of the double world 48 and true foreknowledge (even if a lot of things don't seem right 315. What are the causes of the soul and body, the Laws - first and second 49 ? What is incarnation The One Who greatly exceeds intelligible entities? What is the confusion of unequal natures for one glory? [What is] the death [of Christ] for the resurrection and thereby 320. What is the resurrection [of the dead] and what is the Judgment? What kind of life awaits the righteous and what kind of life awaits sinners? Why does everything flow, tell me, and where does it stop? If any of this is revealed to you by the Spirit - Is it all, half, or that part, 325. which the purity of your mind allows [you to know] – don't deprive me of this! But if you're completely blind, Why do you show the way when you yourself are blind? O darkness those who have a blind person as their teacher, to fall with him into the pit of ignorance. 330. These are these (and they are the lesser evils: because although ignorance is an evil, it is a lesser evil). But what can I say if we remember the bad ones, as there are, there are some even worse ones. The ill-fated, despicable dice of life; 335. ambiguous in matters of faith; respecting the laws and not divine laws. Their words are like Euripus 50 or flexible branches that oscillate back and forth. They are a temptation for women; they are poison that tastes good; they are lions towards the weaker, but dogs in relation to those in power; 340. they are predators with excellent senses they wear down the thresholds of the doors of those in power, but not the thresholds they think only about their own benefit, but not about the public to do evil to your neighbors. I can also talk about their kind of “wisdom”, 345. One boasts of noble birth, the third by wealth, the fourth by family. Those who have nothing to boast about, achieve fame through corruption. But “wisdom” is also this: without speaking oneself, 350. They bind with the help of the law the tongue of those who are more And if there was some kind of struggle using the eyes and hands, you would remove them too, wise men! Isn’t this obvious violence and obvious harm?! Who will tolerate all this? Mysterious thing: 355. While almost the entire universe is already received such great salvation from God, how unworthy leaders we have [in the Church]! I will shout about the truth, although it is extremely unpleasant. I think that some wonderful theatrical scene is being played: 360. Now [we see] masks, and then [we will see true] faces. I'm embarrassed to say how things are, but I'll say it anyway. Although we are appointed to be teachers of good, we are the workshop of all evils and our silence screams (even if it seems 365. “Deceit is at the head; let no one be bad - that's the simplest thing and the best." Practical activity becomes law. After all, if someone, even under the influence of teachers, can hardly turn to the good, then when there is 370. bad example, he is captivated: he is like a stream, Here's the reason for this: they say that the eagle is in the rays of the sun wisely judges the vision of newborn chicks: This is how he recognizes which of them is real and which is not. He throws one out, recognizing himself as the parent of the other 51. 375. We easily place everyone in the pulpit, if only they want it, we make them bosses and at the same time we do not carefully examine their present, neither activity, nor preparation, nor circle of acquaintances - even enough to be able to recognize the “ringing of these coins” 380. and whether they are purified by the fire of time - but hastily [deliver] those who have appeared us worthy of thrones. In fact, if we know that the chosen one the authorities in most cases make things worse, then what kind of prudent person would offer that 385. And if for me such great work is feeding your soul alone in the storms of life, how you trust everyone you meet with the reins rule over such a great people, unless you want to sink the ship? And while gems are hard to come by, 390. and the earth does not grow in every place and while there is no shortage of bad nags everywhere, purebred horses are bred in the homes of the rich, - then why is it so easy to find a primate, and even a newbie who didn’t have to work hard. 395. O rapid change of morals! O random turns of the game! O work of God, entrusted Or: O comic mask, dressed unexpectedly on one of the most vile and insignificant people: and here before us is a new guardian of piety! 400. Truly great is the grace of the Spirit, if among the prophets is dear Saul 52! Yesterday you were among mimes and theaters (let him find out what there was besides theaters Now you yourself are an extraordinary sight for us. 405. You used to be a passionate horse lover as someone else offers prayers and pious thoughts. The reason for this was the fallen driver or the horse that came second in the race; you were struck by the slight smell of horses, 410. and you were like someone who had gone mad and raging. Now you are sedate, your gaze is filled only with meekness (except that you are secretly devoted to an old passion, like, I think, a twisted escape that evades from the hand trying to straighten it, and returns to its original position). 415. Yesterday, while speaking, you sold lawsuits, turning everything one way or the other, With this you destroyed those you should have using a large bribe as the true measure. Now you suddenly became my judge and, as it were, 420. Yesterday, when you judged me with a drawn sword, you have made the court a legal den of thieves, stealing, committing violence primarily against the laws. How meek you are today! Nobody's clothes doesn’t change his morals as easily as you do! 425. Yesterday you were among effeminate dancers, together with the Lydian wives participated in obscene brought out songs and took pride in drinking. Now you are the guardian of chastity of virgins and married women. How suspicious is your goodness, considering your 430. Yesterday Simon Magus, today Simon Peter! Oh, what speed: instead of a fox - a lion! Tell me, my dear, you who were a tax collector or having left some position in the army, like you, being first poor, and then surpassing Cyrus 435. Median, or Croesus, or Midas with his income (owning a house that's full of tears) entered the sanctuary and took possession of the throne? How then did you take everything by force and possess it? How, finally, you captured by force the most Divine 440. which should not even be looked at those who have not yet had sufficiently long training? Have you been changed by baptism, which is cleansing? Wait! Let it be revealed! What is there to be jealous of? This will only benefit me - just give me time. 445. I ask you to have a little patience with your desire. And if today, although you are cleansed by the gift of God, you are carelessly throwing out the same dirt, since its source remains, which splashes out after all, baptism is not the purification of a person’s character, 450. but the purification only of that which grows out of his character, then let the following become clear to you: your How favorable were at least the hopes before! But now even this is gone: there is only a gift of grace Let's assume that someone is a good person. Enough 455. And what, we will love the very wax tablet, which has been rewritten and the previous prints have been erased from it? Become Zacchaeus 54: give back to the unjustly offended at least what, in your opinion, is the most no more (since you cannot fulfill the prescribed 460. Give to the poor as much as you want, and then only you will worthily accept Christ at your table. But if what was captured remains with you and you think, as if by giving a little to the poor you are free, it turns out that we sold God, so to speak. 465. In fact, is it fair that harm remains, you, on the contrary, have grace in the sense that you don’t pay for your brazen antics? So, do you have grace? But refuse what is foreign to you, And then the cleansing will be complete. 470. And if, while you were a partaker of grace, you owned something that wasn’t yours and didn’t wash everything off of you, I'm afraid of what will follow: I think it's clear to everyone Seek grace! Because now I see you as a debtor, although the pulpit lifts you to greater heights. 475. From the injustices that we have committed, but not from those that we commit, Baptism cleanses us. Therefore purify yourself perfectly. But now you cleanse others, but you yourself remain dirty (unless you received a gift from God - 480. like the favor granted by the emperor – to be praised for his tyranny). Even if baptism does not completely cleanse those who, as I said, received grace (after all, no one can ever deceive God, 485. Which baffles even the wise in its ways who then can wash away the atrocities committed from those that are again filled to the brim with dirt and which is the dignity of the divine image they insult reptiles and wild beasts with their faces, 490. Who do we become like when we imitate them? In fact, character becomes the second creator: it is difficult to throw it away and move it away from you, for there is no second purification. Once I was born, then I was created again by God. 495. Perhaps I will be created again later, when I am purified by humane fire. Now I don’t know any medicine except tears 55, with which healing is difficult to achieve, meanwhile, the scars, I think, remain 500. and expose the former severe ulcers. If there is anyone who trusts more in God, this is good for me too: just let him convince me Maybe someone will say that the hands of bishops 56 and public proclamation 57 are something similar 505. coupled with words about our unworthiness, which we proclaim publicly, and at the same time the power of purification is attributed to kneeling and, of course, to the ruling Spirit, - according to the judgment of the just and wise bishops, who, I think, are rather ready to disgrace themselves, 510. how to decorate themselves with the splendor characteristic of their rank. After all, it is easier to be a partaker of evil than good! And that my thought is correct, you will know based on this: if the consecrated meat touches, according to Micah 58, to some kind of drink or food, 515. it will not thereby sanctify what it touches, whereas what is pure will be defiled by touching what is unclean. Therefore the divine Paul, firmly convinced of this, when in his epistle he instructs Timothy 59, commands him not to lay hands hastily 520. on no one, so as not to stain oneself like that, because we have enough of our sins. Let's say, if you want, that 60 is similar to baptism. Only who can guarantee, if it is not proven by time, that grace has purified the character deeply, 525. and not superficially, as is the case with paints, created on the basis of herbs, or with shiny things, the beauty of which is washed away with water? Let us also assume that episcopacy is a complete purification. High position has changed you: I see an Angel. A believer who respects the same laws as me, 530. will accept it readily because he believes the teaching But the one who stands outside [the Church fence] does not know how else to judge the good of faith, if [the clergy] do not have a good name: and although he does not see any of his lack, he becomes a strict accuser of yours. 535. How, tell me, will we convince him to write about us? a different opinion from the one that has already been instilled in him How can we stop his mouth? And what reasons? After all, it’s not in my nature to simply ignore such reproaches. According to which the primate is like some kind of statue - 540. polished everywhere, so that none of the people fall And I agree with you that good fame does grace is more effective. Everyone is amazed by you, and blasphemy does not concern you. Right after Elijah - you, to put it solemnly. But why do you sit so high if you are inexperienced? 545. in what they zealously do and what they strive for many? [I mean virtues, and] I would be surprised if this were the subject of your desires, since pride does not allow you to master [them], instilling in you the belief that you can easily possess those qualities that you really don’t have. But let's assume that this is not so; but how can you avoid 550. in order not to look like both a student and a teacher at once (that is, do not “sharpen the sharpener”, like the tusks of pigs), although it must teach the laws, having first carefully studied them. How confused everything is! On what basis is our teaching so 555. There is not a single fist fighter who defend and choose a comfortable position, nor a runner who does not practice running. Who, being of sound mind, on the same day learn the flute and compete in playing it? 560. Have you ever heard of any who would not mix many types of paints? Who spoke or healed illnesses before learning the art of speech making No matter how little art would cost, 565. if, just by wanting, one could immediately take possession of them! But just an order is enough, and the primate in an instant it turns out to be complete perfection! This is the very case when they say: “No sooner said than done.” Christ commands, and the creature is right there! 570. However, I’m keeping quiet about this. But how can you on the one who remains a servant of God, to swell with arrogance and strive for the power of the throne, instead of being on it, shuddering and trembling from the thought that you are herding oxen that are better than your own 575. Consider it this way - if you have Time to at least take a look at this: this man slept on the ground and was saturated with dust, psalmody and day-night [prayer] standing, banishing your mind from the dust to the heavenly 580. (in fact, why do you need to carry all your ashes to the coffin and be more abundant food for the worms, who gives birth to them and nourishes those who are born?), streams of tears washed away the stains [of sins], if he had anywhere even a small 585. which stain even the sage in the dirt of life. He is imprinted with venerable marks of flesh, withered by prayer and many labors (with which the ancestral taste tormented me, turning to the earth, the mother-nurse), 590. cold, hunger and wretched rags (since he wished to put on incorruption). And he curbed the gluttony of his belly with a little food, thinking about death every day, for he knows that the only food of the Angels is God. 595. Now he is poor, although he was once very rich, but he loved exile and sails lightly, throwing all your luggage to the poor (not into the sea). He ran away from the cities, from the noise of the crowd And from the storm that overturns everything it catches, 600. in order to harmonize the beauty of the mind with God, by entering into one-on-one communication with divine beings. Your beautiful body (how can you not call it beautiful? what is of noble origin?) he corrected secret decoration of iron chains. 605. He oppressed himself, who did no injustice (in order to never allow outrage if it happens and tamed the misleading feeling within myself. The Spirit revealed to him the depth of Scripture, refuting what is imprinted in the consciousness of the majority. 610. Tell me about your blessings: about the house, about the irritated wife, about the annoying children, about property, about butlers, about tax collectors, everything is full of worries and worries. 615. thanks to the tricks of skilled chefs what the earth and sea bring to the stomach (in which the mind is immersed and no longer has the proper breadth), full of incense, laughter, songs accompanied by a flute, those calling to strike the cymbals and stamp their feet. 620. And others are overwhelmed by innate lust: possessed by passion, inflamed, inflamed women, young, if I may say so, grooms, those who have not yet had a marriage bed; or those who cohabit outside of marriage with his mistresses, still 625. before their cheeks are covered beard, perfect youths not only in body, but even more in character; or those that are full of the sins of ancient days; then those who are the patrons of children not according to the flesh, 630. born of the disembodied Spirit: having learned to worship the passions to which they indulged, they become patrons of their own sins and allow others the same licentiousness as That's what they are. Maybe they would have become better 635. but the thrones interfere with them, for power makes the madman even worse. The abstinent one, enduring dishonor, stands with his head bowed, aspiring to God alone, content with the lot of a student, although he is not worthy of being his student 640. be his current teacher, – unless power over someone is understood in the sense How strong is the envious among us! So he cunningly invents deceits that hit exactly when he wants to strike any nation or city, 645. except those with which he tempts everyone, and makes such a primate a code of laws of wickedness. And then before us is copper clothed in gold or a chameleon that changes skin color: beard, humble disposition, drooping head, 650. laconicism, all the vestments of a believer, majestic gait, wisdom in everything except reason... But the first of his first present benefits is the venerable ephod or vestment of Samuel; there is a humble bed, even without a veil; 655. on the head – [long hair] – decoration of maidens, tied with linen thread and placed in a case - all these are visible signs of prayer. How can I not burst into speeches that are unusual for me? I can’t help but say a few words out of anger: 660. control either looseness or hair! Why do you want to have something that is not yours at the same time? The borders of the Mysians and Phrygians 61 are one thing, another – the waters of Marah 62 and Siloam 63! The former were undrinkable, while the latter healed diseases, 665. after the Angel set them in motion 64. You grow a double vine, you sow twice, your clothes are sewn from two pieces, you put under one yoke what cannot be The combination of incompatible things, if you know, is prohibited by law, 670. which seeks to avoid ambiguity. One decoration for women, another for men, one height for ravens, another for eagles. It is shameful when the insignificant imitate the great: This makes a pitiful impression. Let the story 675. will convince you with clarity 65. But if you seek to take your place among the wise, do not just turn the rod into a snake 66! I really want you to be like the great Aaron in everything, but if you are one of the Egyptian magicians, 680. practice all [their art] at once if it is good (no one will judge you for imitating what is good); but if you feel bad, stay away! Spare that And know that this is mine, despite all your skillful You are depriving me of my only lamb 67 . 685. Clothes are deceiving: will Nathan be found to I will come running and tear your dark tunic, if I can grab you. In fact, sometimes you you enjoy these clothes, like the coarsest food, when gourmet food makes you nauseous. 690. Tear something of mine, too, if you find it something too refined or alien to me. What would be more fair than this? Laban 68 let him have white [sheep], while the spotted ones 69 belong to a shepherd who has worked hard, 695. to the one who froze from the night cold and was So, the most shameful of all shameful deeds is hiding one's true character. Still, hold it, and I will praise you. But [what is happening] now, is it possible? Is it possible to laugh at some funny fiction, 700. when “your mouth is full of worries”? [It will be] "laughter through tears" 71. In the story, a cat is placed on the wedding bed 72, wedding gifts, applause, laughter: a brilliant wedding. But the cat, when she saw a mouse running among [the guests] 705. (although she was a bride, she still remained a cat), and got the dinner, but not the wedding. So is every false teacher: after all, natural qualities do not change quickly. - But that man is very clever in business, 710. which you do not approve of; he is a perfect boss; he maneuvers between old and new trends. The other one is pious, but useful only to himself. -Who is saying this? What a spoiled man! After all, there is no one who lives only in himself, 715. neither among the good nor among the bad. But like this air, which, depending on can be fragrant or foul, and we quickly adapt to our neighbors: to the good it is worse, to the bad it is very [quickly], 720. because it is easier to imitate evil. And if such a person becomes our bishop, if it is the worst and full of abomination, then [is fulfilled written: ] “thorns reign over the trees” 73. If the best [becomes a bishop], then again great Israel in the pillar of fire, 725. leading him 74, marching to the land of hope that we all strive to reach, although [this person] does not hang around and is not a regular not Proteus 75, sophisticated in the insidious change of images, and not Melampus 76 or anyone else, fickle, 730. easily taking on any form depending on a sudden change in situation. So why do you tell me you call it useless the one by whom we could become better? Or why do you call him the best and cleverest bishop? 735. the one, looking at whom you reject mine with contempt? There is no doubt that excess is distasteful to the wise, whereas the noble is supremely convincing. Be you as your soul dictates, and I will be it. Perhaps you think that the best of painters 740. is not the one who writes moving figures in simple some Zeuxis, Polykleitos or Euphranor - but anyone who using bright and light colors creates shapeless bodies (it seems to me that Callimachus and Kalais were exactly one of these 77, 745. who had difficulty making copies of copies)? Such is every “experienced” person. So, with this view of things, did you seek to find a shepherd? How little you tried! I'm ashamed of you. You looked at the primate from the point of view of an accountant! 750. You care about manure, but I talk about things more Let only one thing be the priest’s concern: purify souls with life and words, lifting their grief with aspiration to the divine: serene, with an elevated mind 755. he carries within himself only pure divine images, like a mirror that creates its own forms within itself. He sends pure offerings for [spiritual] children until he prepares them themselves as offerings. Let everything else be left for more 760. This way our life can become safer. If for you the greatest good is freedom Let it be so: I don’t think so either if we use it wisely and in moderation. But listen to how things stand: the wise man 765. Silence is more fitting than yours and while your qualities are impudence and insolence, he is characterized by nobility and brevity of speech. But if one day the opportunity arises to speak freely, you will see how the meek becomes warlike, 770. and then you can find out how successful he is in this. You will learn what a cheating monkey is and how a lion roars, when your human [eloquence] will be scorned and your bad knowledge will bend to the ground; and he, proving irresistible, will be accepted by the listeners 775. After all, nothing convinces better than a way of life. For the same reason, the dodger turns out to be weaker in this too. Yet he sits brilliantly in the middle, using the fruits of someone else's table, and despises everyone as bastards 780. to the extent that he himself should be despised. He has only one reason for arrogance - for which you should rather die a shameful death, because in this way you do even more evil deeds. Does any city donkey strive to have advantage over others He is what he is, although he lives in the city. What does it mean? Why is this consideration not a warning? Why do those who are in too much of a hurry fail to see the obvious danger? After all, it happens that even wise men act unwisely, 790. seeing that bad things are going well, and honest people eke out a miserable existence. Or perhaps this is the best way: as if overturning everything, you can step back a little, while everything is rushing up and down, 795. spend the remaining few days of life in safety and end old age with dignity. So continue to hold thrones and power in your hands, if this seems like the ultimate reward: have fun, be wild, 800. cast lots for the patriarchate - may the great change pulpit by pulpit; alone throw others down, lift others up: you love all this. Go your own way! I will turn my thoughts to God, For whom I live, breathe, and only look to Him: 805. My mother dedicated me to him even before I was born, The dangers and the consolation of the nights have connected me with Him. To him I will dedicate the pure movements of my mind, speaking, as far as possible, of course, one on one with Him. This is what, wicked ones, I want to say against you in defense of the good ones; 810. And if someone is depressed by this, then my speech has found, The rest, my friends, will be said from there. But, if you please, accept it as one more farewell word, although short, but useful, How do you take your father's last words? 815. and memorable covenants, after which he becomes silent forever, which is why they remain all the more fully in the depths of the heart. If you find another Gregory, friends, spare him more. If you don't find it, 820. then be kind and honest towards your neighbors and to yourself, since you will maintain unanimity as long as you cope with those mentioned And that peacefulness that I have always been jealous of, appreciate, discarding your own weaknesses, 825. which bring great confusion to the community of the faithful. And I will renounce my inherent [shortcomings] - am I prouder than others, do they for many years I have been too strict and often stubborn, I suppose (although I alone am struck by the intoxication of the mind), 830. that teetotalers are stricken with intoxication! Think as you want, but still remember, that I suffered a lot from the behavior of my friends. But reason has always been my kind patron, and also old age saved me from troubles. 835. Maybe someone will reconcile with me on this Once the struggle, which is accompanied by ill will, has died down. The priests who bring bloodless sacrifices, the illustrious guardians of souls, you who carry the creation of the great God in your arms, bring people into primary unity with God, 5. you are the foundations of the world, the light of life, the support of the word, the secret guides to a bright and endless life, the crusaders, you who sit on famous thrones, are exalted, admire splendid spectacles, come out to act, stand on wooden stilts, 10. you, who under other people's guises weakly open your lips, and in matters of internal piety do not differ from others, joke, if you like, and about what you joke indecently, speak with importance about what you do too frivolously! 15. And I, although you all unanimously consider me a bad and obnoxious person, drive me far from your host, striking with clouds of arrows both openly and secretly (the latter is more pleasant to you), and I will tell you what prompts me and what my heart inspires me to say. Although reluctantly, 20. however, the word comes from the heart like a stream, which, being driven out by a strong wind and running through underground chasms, makes a dull noise and, wherever it can break out of the earth, breaking the bonds, pours out of the vent. The same thing happens to me now: I can’t hold back the bile. But bear it generously, 25. if I say some caustic word - the fruit of my grief. And this is a cure for grief if you give the word to the air. There was a time when this great Body of Christ, this honorable glory of the King - the people reigning over the whole earth - was a perfect people 80. Now again this God's acquisition is wavering, 30. like a wave of a noisy sea or a tree shaken by gusty winds. This is the people for whom God descended from the heavenly throne, having exhausted His glory in the mortal womb, the combined God and man entered into communion with people, 35. at the great price of redemption, gave up His body to suffer and poured out the Divine Blood to deliver us from sin. This is the people for whom many other sacrifices were made, precisely those who later sowed the word to everyone, accepted a sweet death from a cruel hand in order to honor both the Word of God and the Blood - the Blood. 40. Who is troubling this Body? Why do I have so many sorrows? Why did a boar grazing alone damage my cornfield? Why did the darkened moon eclipse such glory? A frantic, malicious enemy has hated man since he cast out the first Adam from paradise and through a harmful fruit 45. deprived him of immortal life. He did not cease to bring people to exhaustion with repeated and strong shocks; however, no matter how much he wanted, he could not bring our entire family to their knees with his tricks. The spark of the word, like a pillar of fire, flowed with glory throughout the entire earth. The persecutors further strengthened those 50. for whom the crowned martyrs became a common union. And so the enemy invented a new, most effective trick: seeing a powerful army, he sowed disastrous enmity between the leaders. For with the fall of the general the whole army bows down. And a seaworthy ship, 55. as soon as it is deprived of a helmsman, capsizes with a destructive wind or is crushed against rocks. Houses, cities, choirs, chariots and herds - everything suffers harm from the ignorance of their ruler. I say this to those who know our vice, to all the leaders of the people. First, cities of refuge for murderers were established (Num. 35:11), 60. A place was determined for scapegoating victims (Lev. 16:8-10); and in the last days there was a place of sorrow and blood (Matthew 27:6-10) - the blood of Christ, which the wicked, having accepted the thin and small price of the Unvalued, shed, however, not against His will, but when He Himself wanted, because God was 65. uncontrollable with hands, but they nevertheless shed it. And now everyone, both strangers and those belonging to our fence, knows one place for wickedness and death, and this is the formerly fenced seat of the wise, the court of the perfect, the exaltation for angelic ceremonies, 70. the lattice separating two worlds, the permanent world and the transitory world, the limit between gods and one-day creatures. It was never like that; but now it’s funny to see. The entrance to the unlocked door is open to everyone, and it seems to me that I hear a herald who stands in the middle and proclaims: 75. “Come here, all ministers of sin, who have become a reproach to people: gluttons, the fat, shameless, arrogant, wine drinkers, vagabonds, revilers, those who dress magnificently, liars, offenders, quick to swear false oaths, devouring the people, 80. laying hands on other people’s property with impunity, murderers, deceivers, infidels, flatterers of strong, low lions above low ones, two-spirited slaves of changing times, polyps, taking, as they say about them, the color of the stone they occupy, recently married, ebullient, people with barely visible down on the beard 85. or who know how to hide the natural fire, nourishing airy love in the eyes, because you avoid the obvious, ignorant in heavenly things, newly enlightened, and because your sinfulness meets the luminous In the spirit, revealing your blackness, come boldly: a wide throne is ready for everyone; 90. Come and bow your young necks under the outstretched right hands: they diligently reach out to everyone, even to those who do not want to! Manna is given again - this extraordinary rain; everyone gathers into his own bosom, some more and some less. If you wish, do not spare the holy day - pious rest; 95. or maybe she will rot in insatiable hands (see: Exodus 16:20). The common property of all is the air, the common property is the earth, for all the wide sky and everything that it opens to the eyes, for all also the gifts of the sea, for all the thrones. Great miracle! Saul is not only not devoid of grace, but even a prophet! 100. Let no one stop at a distance, whether you are a farmer, or a carpenter, or a tanner, or a catcher of animals, or a blacksmith; no one should look for another divine leader; It is better to rule yourself than to submit to the ruler. 105. Throw away from your hands some the big ax, some the handle of the plow, some the bellows, some the firewood, some the tongs, and everyone come here; Everyone crowd around the divine meal, crowding and crowding others. If you are strong, persecute another, despite the fact that he is perfect, has worked hard on the throne, is old, worn out in the flesh, celestial, 110. despiser of the world, lives in God, a dead man among the living and a good priest of the King. Whoever paints a picture from an authentic image first places the original in front of him, and then the picture takes on the image being described. But whoever 115. looks at you will take the opposite path. And this is the only benefit from your depravity.” Thus says the loud herald. But I am afraid that I hear about the illustrious Moses, who alone inside a cloud saw God face to face, and ordered the others to remain at the bottom of the mountain 120. and, having purified themselves, in clean clothes, listen with trepidation only to God’s voice; trampling on the holy land was not safe not only for the people, but also for the cattle themselves; for everyone was amazed by the stones that were torn away from the mountain. I am also afraid of the fate of the sons of Aaron, 125. who, having laid the first fruits of the sacrifice on a strange fire, miraculously perished; the very place of the sacrifice immediately became the place of their death, and although they were the children of the great Aaron, they nevertheless lost their lives (see: Lev. 10: 1–2). So a pitiful death befell Ilya’s family; and the children of Eli perished because they had a bold mind 130. and laid unsanctified hands on the sacred cauldrons; but he did not escape - yes, Eli himself did not escape wrath; The indecent greed of his sons led to the destruction of this righteous man, although he never left the children’s misdeeds without reproach (1 Samuel 2:23–25). 135. If such men and for such sins suffered wrath, what should we fear for great crimes? And the one who supported you, the royal ark, which was about to fall, with an unclean hand, died a sudden death (see: 1 Samuel 4:18)! And the church of God was made inviolable by the external walls of the walls. That is why I cry and fall at Your feet, 140. Christ is my King; may no sorrow meet me when I leave here! The shepherd, who had been fighting the destructive wolves for a long time and arguing with the shepherds, was exhausted; there is no more vigor in my bent limbs; I can barely catch my breath, depressed by the labors and our general ignominy. 145. Some of us compete for sacred thrones, rebel against each other, are amazed and afflicted by countless disasters - these are indomitable warriors, they cry out to me: peace, and boast in blood. Oh, when God’s justice would strike them with the disease of Gath 150. and for their seats they would suffer execution on their seats (1 Sam. 5:9)! Others, splitting into parts, outrage East and West; Having begun in God, they end in flesh. From these opponents, others also borrow their name and rebellious spirit. For me Paul became God, for you - Peter, and for him - Apollos (see: 1 Cor. 1:12-13). 155. Christ was pierced with nails in vain. We are called by the name of people, and not by Christ, glorified by His good deeds and blood. Our eyes are so darkened by this passion either for vain glory or for wealth and this terrible malicious envy, 160. which withers a person and rightly consumes itself with sorrow! The pretext for our disputes is the Trinity, and the true reason is incredible enmity. Everyone is double-minded: this is a sheep covering the wolf, this is an oud, insidiously offering bitter food to the fish. Such are the leaders, but the people are not far behind. 165. Everyone is wise in evil, even without a leader. There is no distinction between good and evil, between prudent gray hair and reckless youth, between an industrious, God-fearing life and between a dissolute life. One law: the one who is the most vicious has the advantage. May he perish 170. who was the first to introduce worthless people here! They would like the world, and God, and everything that will be measured out perfect in the last days, to belong to them, and for the good to labor in vain. This is what our judges want so that all truth can escape from here, 175. so that everything merges into one - Christ, man, the sun, star, darkness, the good angel and the star, no longer radiant, so that the deicide Iscariot and the holy Salem 81 are considered equal to Peter - the evil Samaria, so that gold, and silver, and iron are of equal value, 180. in the same dignity a pearl with a wild stone and a drain of sewage with a clean source - so that all mixed with each other and merged together, as before, when the world was still a primordial substance, which was only pregnant with peace, but had not yet come into separateness! 185. The great church was inaccessible to the Moabites and Ammonites, because they had upset the good army (Deut. 23:3–4). And Jesus numbered others among water bearers and woodcutters because they used deception (Joshua 9:23). This is what is done to the wicked! The tribe of the great Levi was honored; the Levites were appointed ministers of the heavenly tabernacle; 190. But sacrifices, places and labors are also distributed to them; Each hand was given a special task, each fulfilled a special need inside and outside the church. Virtue was protected by such laws! But we have again assigned rewards to vice. O destruction! 195. Will any singer, skilled in composing lamentable songs, weep for this? Stop the evil, my friends! Let us stop burdening ourselves with wickedness. May God finally be honored by the holy sacrifices! And if I convinced you, let's use this. If my word and my gray hair are overshadowed by the insolence of the young or these crows, 200. who recklessly call upon me a disastrous cloud, then I testify by the hand of the immortal God and on the terrible day that will finally consume light matter with fire, I testify that I am not a co-throne, not a collaborator with them, I do not want to participate with them either in the council, or in the voyage, or on the journey. 205. But let them go their own way, and I will look for Noah’s Ark for myself, in order to be saved in it from a terrible death; and then, staying away from the evil ones, I will try to avoid the cruel and indescribable rain that hit Sodom. Putting a bridle on the wandering mind, gathering it inside, 210. going completely deep into oneself, laughing at the storms of life, which even the faces of the wise often cover with dirty dust, constantly imprinting in the heart divine thoughts, not mixed with the worst and enlightened, with a swift desire approaching the light of the Triscendent Deity, 215. I will approach the merciful throne of the immortal God, where everything is open, and even more will be revealed when the scales are measured for all equals for equals in the hands of a just God. 14. About yourself and envious people Gregory the priest and fun and sobs. Have fun, anyone, with my misfortunes. For me, even a trinket has its own decorations, and from iambs a new measure will be born. Read acrostic 82 and you will see clearly. Although I am old and have experienced many disasters, because wrinkles show experience in business, and experience most often produces prudence, yet my old age for many years has not seen such a disaster as it sees now. And this is not difficult to find out from a short word. The leaders of the people illegally rebelled against each other. Taking up arms instead of weapons with anger and envy and seething with contempt like a fierce fire, 10. they rebelled, and the whole universe was divided. And I am a subtle man (because I thought a lot about myself), although I could not strike the evil with a rod (you know that even now I would prefer the same to everything), however, I did what I was able to do and stuck to both stones, 15. imitating the cornerstone - the Savior. But, like one who tames lions or enraged boars, he did not stop the insults, but he himself was trampled, because it is easier to suffer than to do a good deed. 20. If I became a martyr, then, being exposed to great and severe suffering, I would most likely be freed from a double danger. But there is no way to complacently endure the insult that has been constantly before our eyes for such a long time. Who doesn’t know this, even those who are not close to me? 25. If this is their only concern, then let their double-mindedness towards me stop at one thing. If I myself have come down from the throne, what else is there? And if they are overthrown against their will, what do those who dare to do this deserve? Now he has been enthroned, and in the morning they will dethrone me. 30. Is anyone able to find even a false reason for this? I dare to say, my Christ, what is on my heart. They envy my exploits, the stones that were thrown at me. Or maybe (I’ll say clearly) the object of their attacks is the Spirit, the Spirit (listen to this) confessed by God. Again I say: 35. You are my God, and for the third time I exclaim: The Spirit is God. Throw, aim stones at me; Here I stand unwaveringly before you as the goal of truth, despising the whistling of words and arrows. Our Father is the root and source of Kindness. 40. The Light and Word born from Him are the seal of the Beginningless; from Him the Spirit is a timeless nature. God is my God and God is the triple Unit. No one will stop me from saying this. My Trinity is a witness to this, that time will not change this word. Let everything fluctuate, 45. just don’t turn God into me! It is equally wicked to dishonor one thing or to dishonor everything. I have a voice, and you have cities and shining thrones. I hold my tongue; what a wonderful compulsion! Oh, that I might shine like a lamp placed on a candlestick! 50. Oh, if only I could illuminate the whole universe! So now; and soon new thrones, the legal order of both the first and second thrones. The failures here would have been severe if God had not subsequently turned the other side of the bones. 55. I don’t want to have attachment to the blessings here. You make libations for this world, and I offer a sacrifice to God, so that I can easily endure troubles. Night covers everything, and day illuminates everything. I have worked a lot, but my labors are not worth 60. the rewards that await the friends of God. Isaiah was beaten with a saw, but he endured it with patience. The three youths in the cave were warmly received by the fire. Daniel is thrown to the beasts as if they were friends. And Paul and Peter appeared victorious in Rome. 65. And is not the Forerunner a victim of his daring? They know that I died, but let them know that I am alive, even if You, Father, were pleased to send me something even worse. 15. On his return from Constantine’s city I set off on my journey, leaving behind me the great breadth of life, agitated here and there by stormy winds, having with me everything that I had done and leaving behind everything that bothered me; I set off on my journey, one trembling, and the other enjoying myself. 5. I did not leave anything pleasant, nothing for which I would grieve. Although I submitted to one against my will, I submitted to the other of my own free will. I had one favorite acquisition, one superior wealth, one hope for the oblivion of labors - this is the radiance of the great Trinity, common to all, which I came to preach 10. to eminent people, foreign to me. And although I did not remain completely invulnerable (I, as a wicked person, was met with stones; for which thanks be to Thee, Trinity!), nevertheless, I preached the Trinity and, like a circle around the center, set everyone in motion with broadcasts of piety. 15. I was still in the middle of the field, but envy and illness brought me back; and I complain a lot about the envious demon, who snatched from me the pure fruit of my birth pangs, just formed when he was on the threshold of life. Now my Trinity is again in the midst of markets and feasts 20. being cut by the lips of the wicked and the words of harlotry are gaining the upper hand. Alas! Alas! What Phinehas, a zealot in soul and in name, will thrust the sword with the hand that punishes fornication! 25. Or which Moses will help the unjustly trampled Jewish dogmas and, immediately cutting down the Egyptian fables, will acquire great glory among a great people? Who can contain in his mind the entire Divinity, without reducing anything in the great Trinity? Or who, with a reasonable mind and strong arguments, will 30. dispel the power of opposing teachings? Who will protect unshakable faith from arrows, not changing with circumstances, standing firm when rulers change, and will not seduce it from the straight path, rushing here and there, like the current of the fickle Euripus? 35. Who will stop the terrible warfare of the prevailing priests, reconciling the champions of peace among themselves? And I really wanted this; because Christ God, the healer of men, commands this by the laws of His sufferings, according to which He bound together with the cross both the good and the evil, 40. and the one who is close to Him; why for both of them He is the cornerstone (see: Ps. 117:22; Acts 4:11), uniting people together in a union of love. I wanted this; but those who were hostile to me before imputed nothing to me and did not pay any attention to my advice. 45. And oh, if only they had not armed themselves against the Trinity, at Which clouds of arrows are being thrown! You Yourself, Trinity, stop fighting! Let this harmful abuse not hurt anyone, but on the contrary, put a good end to my labors, allowing the right teaching about You to grow! Sorry, famous church of Anastasia! Through my words 50. you again called to life the dead faith. And when I die, I will not forget about you, but I will place you along with the most excellent churches, begging the Trinity for my children. About the Church of Anastasia, which is St. Gregory was established in Constantinople. I rested in a sweet sleep, and a night vision introduced me to Anastasia, to whom my thoughts gravitated throughout the day. She was the first to raise the lofty word, which had until then remained at the foot of the mountain, to its very top. 5. That is why this church, the work of my tirelessly laboring hand, received the name Anastasia. I imagined that I was sitting on a high throne, but not with my eyebrows raised high - no, and in my dreams I never served pride. On both sides below me sat the elders 83, 10. leaders of the herd, differing in age. The servants 84 stood in bright robes, like images of angelic radiance. Some of the people, like bees, huddled against the bars, and everyone tried to come closer; 15. others crowded into the sacred vestibule, equally hastening with their ears and feet; and others were led further to hear my words by the colorful marketplaces and the streets resounding under their feet. 20. Pure maidens, together with well-behaved wives, bowed down to the dean’s ears from high roofs. And that added to the charm of the night. The people, wanting to hear my word, stood divided into parts. Some demanded words that were low and understandable, because they did not want and did not have the habit of 25. extending their thoughts to grief. Others desired lofty and florid speech; and such were those who tried to deeply explore this and that wisdom - both ours and alien to us. Exclamations were heard from both sides, which expressed the opposing desires of the listeners. But from my lips poured out the unique Trinity, 30. shining with the three Beauties revealed to us. I overthrew my opponents with a sonorous voice, streams of flaming spirit, and gusts of speech. Some were delighted and praised, others stood in silent amazement, others uttered some other voices, and some objected only mentally, because the controversy died down in the very pains of birth before it was resolved in words, 35. and others, like waves raised by the winds, entered into open struggle. But good speech delighted everyone: both eloquent and knowledgeable in the sacred word of piety, both ours and strangers, and even those who are very far from our court, 40. being pitiful worshipers of powerless idols. Just as a grape blackened by warm rays is no longer completely unripe, but begins to soften little by little, and is not quite ripe, but partly black, partly blush, in some places already reddened, and in others filled with sour juice, 45. so they differed in the ripeness of the damage, and I already admired the need for the most extensive grinding. This was my vision, but the voice of the roosters stole the sleep from my leaders, and with it Anastasia. For some time the ghost of a ghost still hovered before me, 50. but even that one, gradually decaying, hid in my heart; All that remained with me was sorrow and inactive old age. I mourn for You, my Trinity! I grieve for you, my children! What have you done to me, envy? You've taken a lot from me. Don’t crush my unknown life with anything worse. 55. There are many elegant works of architecture in the royal city, of which he is proud, but above all others he can boast of the heavenly churches, churches that were once mine, but now alien to me, among others the magnificent church of the Apostles, 60. which is cut into four parts by cruciform walls. However, all these churches do not arouse in me as much regret and sorrow as Anastasia - the new Bethlehem. True, I have suffered many misfortunes at sea and on land, from enemies and from friends, from shepherds and from wolves, 65. from a painful illness and from old age, which makes me bent, but never before has such sorrow befallen me. The people enslaved by the Assyrians did not cry so much for the great church when they were led far from their fatherland; 70. The Israelis did not cry so much about the Icon, which was taken by foreigners; Jacob did not weep like this before them over the abduction of his beloved son; The shaggy lion does not lament over the offspring killed by the hunters, nor the shepherd over his lost flock, nor the bird over his involuntarily abandoned nest on a hospitable tree, nor the polyp over the bed he left behind, 75. just as I still lament about the newly built church, about this fruit of my labors, which is enjoyed by another. If ever my heart forgets about you, Anastasia, or my tongue utters anything before your name, then may Christ forget me! How often, and without great sacrifices and without a meal, I cleansed the people 80. gathered at Anastasia, while I myself was away, creating an immaterial church inside my heart and pouring tears on divine visions! I will never forget, even if I wanted to, I cannot forget your love, virgins, singers, faces of your own and strangers, delighting with alternate singing, 85. widows, orphans who have no shelter, the weak, looking at my hands as at the hands of God, and sweet abodes that nourish old age within themselves! And if you still have 90. the memory of me, the long-suffering one, then thanks be to the Trinity! For many people’s hearts are carried away by the flow of circumstances, and the frivolous have shame only before their eyes. I wish only one thing, venerable Trinity, that Your Divinity would forever remain unforgettable in the souls of the newly planted. 95. Accept my farewell greetings, kings who helped me in my suffering! Accept, East and West, fighting among themselves! Accept, priests who rebel against each other! Accept it too, presiding pride! Accept it too, great city! But I am above earthly thrones, and if I desire glory, then only immortal glory. 100. But save, save me, beloved Trinity! Finally, I will see where the throne of pure Anastasia is. Such is the cry of Gregory, sighing for Anastasia, from whom I was once separated by impotent envy. 17. About differences in life and against false priests The perfect painter is the one who draws true and living images in his paintings, and not the one who, having in vain mixed a lot of paints, albeit good-colored ones, represents a painted meadow in the picture. 5. And I praise the seaworthy ship not because it shines with unnecessary decorations and colorful stern, but because the hand of the ship builder firmly nailed it together and sent it safe and bold across the waves. And the army must be brave, not beautiful; 10. And the house has good finishing - the second advantage after strength. So is life human or divine when fear leads a person to Christ, makes him alien to the networks of sin, constant, unentertained and carefree; or very vicious and internally powerless, 15. although in appearance for a short time it has the same strength that we notice in the insane, in whom everything is spinning, because the thought goes around. So the heart of the prayer books of the great-glorious Christ is not the same. One is the ever-present servant of human power, depending on the circumstances, like a reed shaken by the wind, 20. bends here and there and provides not a cure, but an example of every vice. The other, with trembling and reverent hands, offers the gift of thanksgiving to Christ’s flesh and the great sufferings that God endured on earth to deliver us from original ailments. 25. He lives for the one Christ, He is comforted by Him, for Him, ascending from here, he renounces his heart from earthly things and conquers the thoughts of only the good people, but resists the evil ones like the hard stone adamant. He does not care about wealth, about great thrones, 30. about human glory that creeps down. And, wearing the skin of a mighty, royal lion, he does not hide under it the servility of a fox, in order to be a carrion, a cunning, a villain, and lapse into all types of vice. 35. On the contrary, constantly enriching the mind with pure speculation, he even touches the heavenly Trinity, confirmed Her image in his heart, contemplating the one Glory in the three Kindnesses, and finally, when a godlike people have been prepared by pure sacrifices, he makes a bloodless heartfelt sacrifice. 40. I also wanted to be among such prayer books - I will not hide this, because my foot was already standing inside the vestibule. But as soon as I saw the obscene deeds and the carefully thought-out deception, I stepped back and put my foot out. 45. It is true that I suffered a lot of grief among other unbelievers, from whom even now the sounds of my voice can still be heard. For me - stones, and for them - the newly confirmed Divinity of the Trinity - these are the gifts that we brought to each other! But even if I gave in, I did not leave the words unconfirmed anywhere, 50. wherever our worries took me. Now I am deposed; step on me, step on me, evil envy! Or, perhaps, I will still stop you, although I will be hidden in the extreme reaches of the earth, imprisoned in the dark womb of a sea beast - a whale, as was once the case with Jonah. 55. Let the body be in the womb; but the mind, no matter how much its path is blocked, will go wherever it wants with uncontrollable desire. This is the only asset of the good - freedom, uncontrollability, invincibility, a mind that has soared to Christ! 60. Gregory will no longer be the table-fellow of the earthly king, as before, he will not do even small favors to his bag 85, he will not recline downcast and silent among the feasting, with difficulty catching his breath and becoming satiated, like a slave. The judge will not sit me either next to him to honor him, or below him to put a measure on my spirit. 65. I will not kiss bloody hands or caress chins to gain a little favor. I will not run with a crowded retinue to a sacred, or birthday, or funeral, or wedding dinner, in order to betray everything to theft, destroying some with my own teeth, 70. and leaving others to my escorts - these predatory hands of Briareus; late in the evening to take the animated coffin to the loaded ship, that is, with difficulty to bring the painful womb home again, but, barely catching his breath from satiety and not yet getting rid of the previous burden, rush to another rich feast. 75. No, no, I will not speak pleasantly to the ear, presiding in sacred places, either alone, or in a corporate assembly of many; I will not reject the words of the Spirit out of concern to gain love from the people; I will not amuse myself with applause, rejoice at the spectacles; 80. I will not, like those competing on the lists in dexterity and resourcefulness, or overtaking each other in chariots, rush along the rapids of a bickering word, and, moreover, not in order to destroy anger, cool the fury of a heated body, tie the hand with the bonds of words, 85. which with fury reaches out to everything that is foreign, drive out false glory from the heart, and with my teachings bring down the arrogant one to the earth. pride, sources of tears to cause tears, but in order to taste one cruel poison that will cause certain death - 90. to satisfy the passion of chasing glory. I will not sit in meetings of geese or cranes, who fight among themselves without any reason, where there is discord, where there is confusion, and also, above all, where all the secret shames of the warring parties are collected in one place. 95. These are the reasons why I sit alongside the lowly ones - a doctor of passions who is not sick myself. For it is not proper for my gray hair to amuse itself like a child and, contrary to its custom, to serve from behind thrones, over which, quarreling, others are divided into crowds and illegally dissect the whole world. 100. Alas! Alas! How great are our sorrows! Own it all to anyone and whoever is cunning. And I will fearlessly be filled with Christ. If it is bad to leave the reins of a godly people, then let this fall on the heads of those who themselves overthrew them from themselves, 105. so that, like a fast horse that cannot tolerate a bridle, it rushes furiously along rapids and cliffs. I have one desire - that they have care for everything pleasing to God. If they care about evil, I pray to God to set my ears far from them. Why did I come to God, leaving life behind, surrounded by many and dangerous worries, and envy blows towards me, wanting to throw me away from God and make me the same gloomy one. 5. Why did friends [become] hostile to me, and good ones became evil? [They] all became the same at the same time. How could I from afar carry a speech alien to such a city, after all, I knew it as the first among [the cities] of all that are under the rays of the sun [in the east], and that I acquired [here] more, 10. [than] the oppression of the troubles and diseases that accompanied me? But I think this is a fiery trial (1 Pet. 4:12) for me, and I am comforted [by my filial love for You]. Only grant me Your glory, O Christ, unenviable! 19. Complaining about your suffering Many times I extended a plaintive word to Christ the King, exhausted from great misfortunes. For another king generously listens from a servant to a modest description of his slave sorrows, and a good father often accepts clearly bold speeches from his foolish son. Therefore, You, my God, be lenient with my words, which my aching heart will lift up to You, O Most Meek One. If the disease is regurgitated by the heart, this already serves as some relief from suffering. Why did You, my King Christ, strike me from above with so many disasters from the very time I fell 10. from my mother’s womb onto mother earth? If You did not bind me in my dark mother’s womb, then why did I accept so much sorrow on sea and on land, from enemies, from friends, from evil leaders, from strangers and from compatriots, 15. and openly and secretly showered me with words of contradiction and clouds of stone? Who will describe all this in detail? I am the only one known to everyone, not because I have an advantage over others in words or in the strength of my hand, but because of my sorrows and lamentations. Like a lion, 20. angry dogs surrounded me and barked at me. What pathetic songs from the east and west? Or maybe it will come to the point that someone who softened his heart at a feast, or some traveler, or someone else, touching the sweet-sounding harp with his fingers and retelling my sorrows in silent sounds, 25. will remember Gregory, whom the small city of Diocaesarea raised to the Cappadocians. But to others you send, beyond expectation, laborious, countless wealth, to others - good children; some are beautiful, some are strong, others are eloquent. And my glory is in tribulations; 30. From Your sweet hand You have poured out all the bitter arrows on me. I am the new Job; The only thing missing is a similar reason for my suffering, because you are not leading me into battle with a cruel enemy, as a good fighter, in whose strength You are confident, O Blessed One, and not in order to give reward and glory for a good deed. 35. And I am incapable of this, and my sorrows are not so glorious. On the contrary, I suffer punishment for sin. What kind of sin is this? Of my many sins, I do not know which one offends You more than others. I will reveal to everyone what lies in the depths of my mind, although a vaguely spoken word would perhaps cover up sin. 40. I thought that, as soon as I made You alone my desired lot, and at the same time cast all the scum of life into the sea, then, bringing my pompous mind closer to Your Divinity, I placed it far from the flesh. And the word led me to surpass everyone, 45. to soar to the sky above everyone else on golden wings. And this aroused constant envy against me, this entangled me in troubles and inevitable sorrows. Your glory delighted me on high, and Your glory set me on earth. You are always angry, King, at great pride! Let them hear this and write to future generations, 50. peoples and rulers, my enemies and well-wishers! I did not renounce the throne of my great parent, dear to me - no - and it would be unfair to resist God’s statutes. This throne was given to him according to the laws, and my young hand served as a support for the old hand; 55. I yielded to the prayers of my father, who was not the only one who was revered by me, in whom even those far from our court respected gray hair and its equal lordship of spirit. But when the Lord of our life wanted me to show the Word and the Spirit in other alien, uncultivated and overgrown fields, 60. then I, a small drop, gave water to a great people. And then again it suddenly became desirable to send me back here, born to a serious illness and painful worries; Care is poison for a person. But I did not give peace to my members for a long time, 65. for I had to give a shepherd's pipe - a good helper to my flock, which was left without a shepherd, so that some enemy, having ascended into it, would not fill his shameless belly with prey. Since the rulers were worried, the people were also worried; they were worried about the desire to have a shepherd; I was also disturbed by destructive beasts, who, having a maddened heart, 70. imagined God incarnate in the human womb as having no mind: then many, not believing my sufferings, cried out (and said openly or kept it in mind) that out of arrogance I despise the God-fearing people (but God knows my sorrow); 75. and many also judged me by their nightly dreams. Either their love, like a painter, presented many things in an embellished form, or God closed their eyes, preparing a good end for me, so as not to crush me with sad expectations for me, sending me the worst end of life. 80. Therefore I bow my neck under Your mighty hand and go as a prisoner. Let others sort out the rights; It does me no good to have my life judged. Draw me now, Christ, wherever You please; I am exhausted from sorrows, I am crushed, like a prophet in the belly of a whale. 85. I dedicate the rest of my life to you. But have mercy on the man who can barely catch his breath. Why do you hurt me with so many sorrows? You did not die for the good ones alone, O God! It was not for them alone that You came to earth - what an indescribable miracle! - God has come - a man who sprinkles blood on our souls and bodies. 90. I’m not the only one who is very thin; You brought many and bad people into glory. Three publicans are glorified in Your books: the great Matthew (Matthew 10:3), the other who cast down his tears in the church (Luke 18:13) and the third Zacchaeus (Luke 19:2); count me fourth among them! Three also paralyzed: one with a bed (Matthew 9:1–8), another at the source (John 5:5–8) and 95. the third – bound by the spirit (Luke 13:11); count me fourth among them! Three dead men again saw through You the light that You had revealed to them: the daughter of a prince (Mark 5:41–42), the son of a widow (Luke 17:12–15) and Lazarus, half-rotted in the tomb (John 11:42–43); count me fourth among them! And now, O Good One, grant me medicines that relieve pain, 100. and subsequently grant me eternal life and glory in Your glory. I was the leader of a godly flock, and when I am released from this life, then, O Most Blessed One, may it be worthy to have the best shepherd. And if he has one like me, then at least let him have someone who suffers less, because it is indecent for someone who should be a healer of ailments in others to fight evil sorrows. 20. Prayer of the sick to Christ Strengthen me, Christ! Why am I relaxed, Your servant? The tongue that sings praises to You is ineffective, and You allow this? Restore me and do not reject Your priest! To kidnap, snatch me away from someone else's hand, the Undying One, so that I would not suffer from evil deeds, and Pharaoh would not destroy me, 5. and would not take possession of me captive, O Christ, Thy adversary, and would not lead me away into the thorns of Babylon, tormented by wounds. But rather leave me in Your church, 10. Established by You and singing hymns [to You]; and so that nothing from the fire of Sodom rains on me, by the hand of strong autumn, You save me from all misfortune. 22. Prayer poem 89 Christ, light of men, pillar of fire to Gregory’s soul, wandering through the desert of a woeful life, restrain the malicious Pharaoh and shameless henchmen; deliver me from unbearable clay and from heavy Egypt, 5. having humbled my enemies with shameful executions, and grant me a smooth path! If the pursuing enemy overtakes me, cut the Red Sea for me so that I can cross over the hardened waters, hastening to the wonderful land, to my property, as You promised; 10. Stop the wide rivers, turn away the rushing and groaning spear of the foreigners! If I ascend to the holy land, I will glorify You with ceaseless hymns. My King Christ, why have You entangled me with these nets of flesh? Why did you throw me into life - into this cold and shady ditch, if, as I hear, 15. I really am God and Your property? I have lost the strength of my limbs; I do not obey my knees; I was weakened by time, crushed by illness, exhausted by worries and friends who were unfriendly to me. But my sins do not want to submit, but attack me even more strongly, and the exhausted one, like a timid hare or chamois, 20. is surrounded by these dogs, wanting to satisfy their hunger. Or stop the disaster and have mercy; or accept me to Yourself after long-term deeds and put a measure of sorrows; or may the good cloud of oblivion cover my thoughts! And of those pleasing to God, some make a good voyage, while others, being no worse than the first, encounter difficulties in their voyage. Who besides You, Word, knows the reasons for this! Is it not better to go along the steep and unsmooth paths than 5. rather than along the comfortable path? However, I’ll tell you what I think about it. It’s better to do both together – to go and go towards perfection. And if this is impossible, then I prefer labor to an inglorious and unkind salvation. 10. Of course, many things should lift me up to God, who is tired both by the flesh and by the confluence of affairs. What should I do if I don’t achieve both desired goals? Prepare yourself as quickly as possible and your soul, precious for the Word, will be inspired to heaven. 15. Do not leave anything unnecessary with you, throw off all the burdens of a vain life and the evils of this place. I am the leader of the mysterious meal; I purify the people I bring to You as a gift through bloodless and perfect teachings. 20. O ever-flowing Lordship, Source of Light! I myself have a need for cleansing and therefore I know how difficult it is to cleanse the stains of uncleanness. Take note of this, O shepherds of men, and tremble! Morning! I give my right hand to God - not to do or approve of dark deeds, but to sacrifice this day primarily to You, remaining unshakable and autocratic of the passions. 5. If I spend it badly, I will be ashamed of my old age and this Meal that I am about to face. This is my desire, O Christ; You crown him with success! I lied before You - the Truth, the Word, when I dedicated this day to You. The night did not find me completely bright, not as it promised and hoped to be. 5. But in another way my feet stumbled, because darkness came, the hater of salvation. You, Christ, shine Your light and appear to me again! 26. Prayer to Christ the next morning Yesterday is lost for me, Christ! Anger found and instantly took possession of me. Oh that this day would become a day of light for me! 27. Gregory's lament about himself Alas, alas! what suffering! What have I done wrong? Or am I the only one who touches Your pure sacrifices in a holy way? Are You, the Purifier, burning me with suffering, or reducing the arrogance of others, or are you exposing me in order to bring me out to fight the enemy? 5. All this is distributed by You Yourself, my King – the Word. But I can hardly draw my last breath on earth; cried all the tears; One thing I have to do is cry. How long will I remain in the hands of the wicked? But you, Blessed One, raise me up; I may be thin, but I am still a priest; rise up, 10. so that no one is tempted by my disasters! My praise is lost, may my bodily sorrows also disappear! Anastasia is lost to me, may sin also cease! Alas! Alas! my tears do not dry up, my heart grows numb in my chest. Hold back, O Tsar, this serious illness! 15. Hold back the disease - I perish. Is mercy reserved for only Your servant Gregory? I have been overwhelmed by many calamities and bodily sorrows. And You, Christ, have grace - You, Who burn me with suffering. Or stop disasters and have mercy on Your servant, 20. or give me the strength to endure everything with a strong spirit! 28. Elegiac poem Blessed is he who leads an incorporeal life and does not surround the great image with an admixture of mud! Not many, and even then under compulsion, follow heavenly thoughts, but much more oppose them and serve as a clouding of the mind. 5. I am the product of the fleeting; Why are you making me like this immortal? If God’s breath is in me, then why, O Christ, do you bind me with clay? Old age has set in, and the limbs have weakened. But if the rebellious flesh, openly or secretly, becomes even more enraged and, what is most regrettable, 10. makes the secret place of heavenly sacrifices unclean, then I conjure you, flesh, by the great power of God or a black day for the wicked, to refrain from insolence! Since you are attacking me, who suffers from illness, then listen to a few words and take a lesson from me. It is better for me to be weak than for you to be strong. 5. I, who am appointed to cleanse the evil, know that illness is a cleansing fire for me, although there is also the highest mystery of suffering. 5. It is better to think this way than, remaining defiled, in vain arrogance to do yourself any harm. But you are very thin and are not aware of your illness. In order for this disease to be destroyed in you before you die, 10. it must bring from you many tears before God. For if such is the light, what will be the darkness (Matthew 6:24)? A lot, a lot will happen to a person as time goes on. But whatever God who rules our lives sends, it’s all bearable. 5. How many troubles did I endure in a foreign city, bringing my word as a gift to support the falling teaching! I will praise it if others say about them. 10. But many people are already speaking, both strangers and lovers of the faith I respect. For until now nothing has brought the whole earth into such turmoil, 15. as the boldness with which we proclaim the Spirit to God. This, as you know, also exposed me to the displeasure of my friends. But the greatest thanks to You, O Blessed One, for this wonderful dishonor! 20. For what can be more honorable for a person than such dishonor? But what I met here beyond my expectations, I myself will tell my friends about, 25. so that they learn to endure attacks of envy with indifference. God once spoke a beautiful and truly Divine word that every prophet 30. seems worthy of honor only on someone else’s side, and what is known most often is not recognized as worthy of honor (Mark 6:4). The same thing, and even more, obviously happened to me now. 35. When, having left the foreign country, I returned to my fatherland and saw with pleasure my native land and my beloved people, 40. I immediately thought of the ark, which alone escaped drowning in a justly lost world; because my fatherland, when almost the right teaching was becoming scarce in it, 45. was saved by the tree of my great father, making him a complete worshiper of the entire Trinity. This people, suffering from anarchy, 50. like a ship, which, having lost its helmsman in the depths, is overwhelmed by the waves, I wanted to save from the greatest troubles. Let everyone throw stones at me, 55. because I have long been accustomed to stones! Yes, I wanted to draw it out of the depths by the hand of the helmsman, whom I knew that he strongly resists the breath of the storm, 60. although he had recently taken over the management of affairs. This is what I wanted; but envy, hostile to the good, 65. resisted the wonderful institutions with all its measures. Firstly (who could have expected this?), those occupying the second degrees of the throne, the elders, the chairmen of the people - 70. this wonderful host, were not kind to me. Others, who were still held back by a small remnant of shame, people, like other tunics, 75. two-faced and two-colored, outwardly stood for me, but inwardly they were ill-disposed towards me. However, I am also grateful to them for 80. hiding their unreasonable desires. For obvious servility is worse than dishonor. Others, not secretly, but too obviously, were hostile to me; 85. They would be ashamed to seem meaningless in their malice. O you who bow to the flesh 91, who obviously despise God Himself, the worshipers of Beelphegor, 90. and not the true Lord! Where is the mystery meal? Judge fairly. Where is the bread, where are the hands that drew the Spirit on your heads? 95. In your malice, trample on grace itself! But I don’t blame the people. For what is surprising if 100. sin in such matters, having such leaders? And with wise leaders it is difficult to be perfect. However, this, children, is not what I once taught you, 105. although I did not rule the reins of others for long. I did not teach you to despise the laws and words of the teacher. I still had the strength to endure it patiently, because suffering best teaches patience. But most of all, my heart melted because 115. I was deceived by the wise, the people’s bishops, in words they were my friends and approved of the opinion as firm and more pleasing to them than anyone else, 120. but what they were tending to on my grandfather’s own part is not for me to say. Let me just say that I was deceived. O Trinity that I preach! 125. O altars, o throwing stones, and all the labors that I have done so far since my initial asceticism! Faith in God perished, 130. perished among people! Where should anyone turn, whose neighbor should they become? If the lamps have become like this, if the light has become like this, then judge what kind of darkness it is? 135. I fall into deception twice; and, being exposed to this, I know this, if only I have been given from God to understand something. But, tormented 140. (who knows this except God?), I endured this, imitating (if I dare say) God’s love for mankind. Apparently, I alone do not hear or see at all what 145. is open and obvious to everyone, what the whole world sees; I don’t see or hear, if only the color of the former body remained, now exhausted 150. and reduced to pitiful decline! Whether this is pleasing to the Word, you, wise ones, teach me, but it seems to me not only unpleasant, but also extremely evil. 155. From this, all the sowers of new harmful teachings invade, like a broken wall or a broken dam. They even had new, 160. evilly written tablets. They are illegally cutting my great God, the one, 165. everything that is superior, dividing into the highest, middle and lowest. And as they dissect my God, so they dissect the great God-man, recognizing Him as having no mind, as if the fallen Adam had no mind, or as if they were afraid that I would not be saved completely by suffering. Apparently, my skin alone needs to receive salvation, 175. and everything else in me, as dishonorable, has been abandoned by God! They also have this, I don’t know where it came from, some new Judaism - nonsense about the millennium, 180. the product of pagan intoxication and delusion. They, like heavy oxen (Acts 22:29), having invaded the good flock, 185. without a shepherd, mercilessly tear and plunder it, to the sorrow of my heart. And I, although I accepted the rod of another herd, 190. nevertheless am sick, seeing the destruction of my father’s labors. And why not hurt someone, even someone who thinks in cold blood? 195. I’m not the only one who was raised by some oak or stone! Let them call me a liar and evil, but I will say my thought. And you yourself, my dear, who now look with arrogance at my suffering, as far as I know, are not free from illness, although you think of yourself that you stand safely and profitably. The towers are shaking; 205. How can the house next to it not hesitate? The cedars tremble; How can a pine tree stay safe? Try to distance the abuse, 210. if you don’t want to be close to it. Others will remember these words of mine in time, when there is nothing more to do but suffer in vain. 215. What worse thing will you send to me, my Christ? Will you still burn me with fire? I will accept everything willingly, just be merciful to me. A little more, and I will have passed the rough path of life. And what is it like there?.. No matter how bad it is, everything is good for me, because there is no double-mindedness there, 220. but only simplicity. Twice, I know it, alas! Twice I am defeated. If it is fair, may God accept you. If it is not fair, may God also accept you. For I do not own anything that is yours, or as if [yours]. 5. But I left everything and wish for deliverance from evils. I am full of everything present: wealth, poverty, pleasant, unpleasant, glory, dishonor, enemies, friends. I want to experience the same thing that has not yet come. 10. End of word. I dare [still], hear me. If I am nothing, my Christ, then what is this creation? If I am valuable to You, then why do I endure so much? 32. About the vanity and unfaithfulness of life and about the common end for all I would like to become either a light-winged dove or a swallow in order to escape from human life, or to settle in some desert and live in the same shelter with animals, because they are more faithful than people. There I would like to spend my one-day life 5. without tears, without fear of punishment and without worries, to have one advantage over animals - a mind that knows the Divine and is celestial. There, in the midst of a calm life, I would gather light to the light, or, having climbed to the top of some high pillar, I would loudly begin to cry out to everyone living on earth: 10. Mortal people, the product of expired moisture, insignificant, you who, living by death, are puffed up with vain things! How long will you, remaining a playground of false and waking dreams and playing with them, wander on earth without a goal? Look, having ascended in your mind above everyone else, 15. how I have ascended, because God has invested in me great knowledge of what is useful and harmful; and the mind soars above all. He was fresh and strong, was the glory of his friends, carried his head high and had well-built flexible limbs. He was a beautiful morning dawn, 20. the spring color between men and attracted everyone’s gaze. He is famous for his exploits; the one in arms is Ares; that most excellent fighter against animals measured his strength with them on the lists and on the mountains. He took care of feasts and luxurious dinners; land, sea and air brought tribute to his belly. 25. But now he is wrinkled and decrepit; everything has bloomed; old age came, and beauty flew away; the womb refused to serve; a small part of a person remains alive, but a much larger part has already gone to the grave. He is puffed up by learning of every kind; he thinks highly of the magnificent tombs of his nobility or of the fact that 30. he also managed to inscribe his blood in small scrolls; he is proud of the strength of his councils in the cities, because his name is on everyone’s lips; he has collected immeasurable wealth and is still increasing it in his mind; he, sitting on a high seat, admires the scales of justice given to him; 35. He in scarlet clothing and withered 93 on his forehead, ruling on earth, puts heaven itself at nothing, and although mortal, he is pompously filled with non-mortal hopes. All this is now, and after a while - dust; slaves and sceptre-bearers, mercenaries and those proud of wealth - all will become equal, 40. for all there is one darkness, one abode, and the proud have one advantage, that the cry above them is louder, their tomb is more magnificent and the tombstone is kept longer on the miserable stone. Sooner or later, but every mortal has an equal lot. All that will finally remain is fragile, half-decayed bones and a bare skull. 45. The pomp is over, but poverty is no longer bothered by labor, unknown illness, hatred, extravagance, desire for great things, indomitable impudence. Everything died, everything was concluded together with the dead until the time when it goes from here after the resurrected. Seeing all this, listen to my advice, 50. children (I can call you children, because I’ve been catching my breath on earth longer than you)! Having rejected the whole world, everything that is troubled in the world, everything that the earthly king deceives - this predator of other people's property, a pest and a murderer, that is, wealth, glory, chairmanship, nobility of the family, unfaithful happiness, 55. let us flee as quickly as possible to heaven, where many beauties shine around the ineffable Triple Light. And let others fall here and there, like checkers, and find pleasure in the falling checkers, or, covering their eyes with thick darkness and holding onto the wall, follow each other! Alas for me! I fainted, O my Christ, Breath of men! What a fight I have with my fleshly wife! How many storms it causes! How long is life, how long is this temporary stay! How many struggles both inside and outside, 5. in which the beauty of God’s image can be damaged! What oak can withstand such violence of the winds? What ship fights so many waves? I am overwhelmed by work and the confluence of things. It was not of my own volition that I took upon myself the care of my parents’ home. 10. But when he entered it, he found it plundered. My friends left me exhausted and my illness exhausted me. Others are greeted with flowers, but I was greeted with stones. The people over whom the Spirit had placed me over were taken away from me. I left some children behind, separated from others, 15 and others did not honor me. Truly, I am a pitiful father! Those who made sacrifices with me became more hostile to me than my enemies themselves: they did not respect the mysterious Meal, they did not respect (I’m not talking about anything else) the labors I had previously endured (and they were often accustomed to respecting vicious ones); 20. They do not think at all to suppress the rumor about the insults inflicted on me, but they seek one thing - my disgrace. 34. On silence during fasting Be silent, dear tongue; and you, my pen, write the words of silence, tell the eyes of the heart’s broadcasts! When, making a mysterious sacrifice to the human suffering of God, so that I myself might die to life, 5. I bound my flesh for forty days, according to the laws of Christ the King, since healing is given to cleansed bodies, then, firstly, I brought my mind into steadfastness, living alone away from everyone, surrounded by a cloud of lamentation, gathering all within myself and not being entertained by thoughts, and then, 10. following the rules of holy men, I attached the door to the lips. The reason for this is so that, while abstaining from every word, we learn to observe moderation in words. He who raises a piercing spear against many easily subdues the few. 15. He who throws winged arrows faithfully at a target from afar will never have an arrow fly past the target at close range. And a seaworthy ship that has sailed across vast seas can be safely sent on a voyage not far from the pier. Whoever wins in small things, it is still doubtful whether he will succeed in great things, 20. although he strongly desires. But whoever produces great things, there is no doubt that, if he wants, he can easily surpass others in small things. That’s why I completely tied up the power of words, for I hoped that no more unnecessary words would come out of my mouth. 25. Language is the most destructive thing for people. This is a horse that always runs forward, this is the most prepared weapon. Another sees everything, but his hands reach very little, namely what is under his feet, but his feet did not go around the whole earth. 30. And the murderer must struggle with difficulty; the adulterer trembles with his furious passion; the worst day for thieves. And wealth is burdensome; I have one, but have already lost the other; I hold as much in my hands as I can hold in a handful of liquid. A ship, a long journey, robbers, an unfed man who casts greedy glances at other people’s property - 35. that’s how many opponents every gold lover has! And the bad are not without labor, and the good are not without labor. But nothing held back a tongue that was quick to speak—neither man, nor snow, nor a stream, nor a stone cliff. The shooter is already close; the merciless arrow was already inserted into the bow, 40. and at its forked end the bowstring bent into an arc; thought shot an arrow; she rushed and overthrew everything - heavenly and earthly, living and unborn, wary and careless, good and evil, enemies and friends, 45. distant and close. For this arrow, the target is everywhere; and whoever throws it has first place among the wise men. The tongue of the lustful spews out much shame. He who is worthy of laughter, in order to arouse uncontrollable laughter in people, allows himself to be thrown at and throws words at himself, dishonors the image of God, 50. and spews out a lot of hidden things into the ears of others, and often scatters the swirling foam of stormy anger in all directions; Often, from an internally malicious heart, he brings out a greeting and has one thing in his soul and another on his lips, 55. namely: lies, kind words and murder. Who can count all the grief that the tongue causes? If he wants, without any difficulty, in one minute he will make war between house and house, city with city, people with ruler, king with subjects, 60. like a spark that instantly ignites straw. Those sailing on the same ship, a son, a parent, a brother, a friend, a husband, a spouse - he conveniently arms all of them, one against the other. He will make the evil one good, and on the contrary, he will destroy the good one and change all this again. Who will overcome the word? 65. The tongue is small, but nothing has such power. Oh, that he would immediately become dead among evil people! Every foolish tongue has evil, but it can especially be evil in the secret places of the heavenly sacrifice. I am the organ of God and in euphonious chants 70. I bring praise to the King, before Whom everything trembles. 75. I sing not of Troy, not of the happy voyage of some ship Argo, not of a pig’s head, not of the mighty Hercules, not of the vast circle of the earth, as it is surrounded by seas, not of the brilliance of stones, not of the paths of the heavenly bodies. I sing not the fury of passions, not the beauty of youths, in whose honor the effeminate lyre of the ancients rattled. No, I glorify the great God reigning in the heavenly places, or the radiance of my most luminous Trinity united together. I sing the high, thunderous songs of the angelic faces, 80. which they, standing before God, proclaim alternately. I sing of the orderliness of the world, even more perfect than the present one - the harmony that I expect, because everything is hastening towards oneness. I sing the imperishable glory of Christ’s suffering, with which Christ deified me, dissolving the human image with the heavenly one. 85. I sing of the confusion seen in me, for I am not some easily explained work: I am a work in which the mortal is united with the heavenly. I sing of the law of God given to men, and all the affairs of the world, as well as the intentions and end of both, so that you may keep one in your heart, 90. and run further away from the other and tremble for the coming day. For all this, my tongue must be like a harp. But beware, priests, that he does not announce anything discordant. I will keep my tongue pure and for pure sacrifices, through which I bring the great King into communication with earthly beings. 95. And not with an alien tongue, not with a defiled mind, I will send forth a life-giving sacrifice to the Pure. One source does not produce sweet and bitter streams (James 3:11–12). The most indecent thing for purple clothes is dirt. An extraordinary fire destroyed the ancient 100. sons of the priest, who touched the sacrifice uncleanly (Lev. 10:1–2). I hear about the sacred ark of the great God that he was once inclined to fall and killed the one who touched him (2 Samuel 6:7). This is why I greatly tremble and am afraid, lest I suffer something by uncleanly touching the pure Trinity. 105. Oh, if only I could bring the obscene and fickle mind, which rushes here and there in many vain impulses, closer to the goal, even with a chain bridle, and keep it in my heart completely free from seduction! 110. It is better to say that if he is closer to the great-glorious Christ, he will be illuminated by the rays of the great Light. And even now, being imprisoned inside, he does less evil, even though he has begun to wander somewhat away from God. When a flame or stream is blocked by hard stones, although it bubbles inside, 115. it does not destroy a dense bush or field and, hiding in the stones, lives half-dead. But the word, as soon as it leaves the polyphonic tongue, rages uncontrollably and does not return. However, if you bend a crooked branch, gradually unbending it with your hands, 120. in the opposite direction, then, freed from the violence of the hand, it becomes straight and does not take on the previous curvature. So did I, having noticed that the swiftness of a fluent word knows neither weight nor measure 125. (then there was only life for me when I had a word), invented the best medicine - I completely kept the word in my highly intelligent heart, so that my tongue learned to observe what it could say and what it could not. Having acquired perfect silence, he will acquire good speech. I have deprived him of everything, and he will not despise measures. 130. May this become an everlasting law for the immoderate! And that is a great gain if you keep your word, which is ready to break out when they strike your heart from outside. By taming the word, you also tame the excitement of anger; and although not without difficulty, you will nevertheless tame him. If you do not give freedom to your tongue, 135. when it becomes arrogant and becomes wildly furious, but if you keep it in check, you will avert offense. With the conquest of the leader, the king of passions will submit, and you will rest from painful anxiety. For all this we need the guidance of the great King Christ, 140. but then we also need the feeder of our mind. If Christ is not your ruler, then your silence and even greater patience are of no use. If we close the narrow source of the lake with our hands and open it again, it will immediately flow. 145. On the contrary, the most luminous Word commands you, my good one, starting with this, to hold back the course of all evils. These, my dear friend, are the teachings of my silence; This is what my hand, expressing thoughts, tells you. This is my voyage, and you hurry to another voyage. 150. Everyone is carried by the direction of the wind. But if anyone, either from my enemies or from my well-wishers, wants to hear another reason for my silence, here it is. There was a time when I had a lot of firmness in my morals. Christ the King led me against the enemy, 155. and in my heart I had faith stronger than adamant; I was protected from everywhere by strong walls, I edified my undefiled mind with the word of God, extracting the spirit from the sacred letter, and at the same time I spewed out from myself the salty bitterness of the books I had read before, 160. this beauty, shining with false embellishments, exhausted my ebullient flesh, while it was blooming with youth, with many and frequent labors. He took away from the belly the insolence of satiety and the fury that is inseparable from it, established the eye in the eyelids with chastity, 165. overpowered anger, bound the limbs, blocked laughter. Everything then submitted to the Word, everything in me died. The bare earth was my bed; pain in the sides, hard clothes served as an aid to vigil and brought tears out of me; During the day I bent my spine and during the all-night hymns 170 I stood upright, not knowing the human attachment to the comforts of life. It was so then, because the flesh was still boiling in me, which usually intensifies to stop the great light in its heavenly ascent. I also threw off the heavy burden of earthly acquisitions, so that, shaking off all heaviness, I could ascend lightly to God. 175. And now, when a cruel illness has befallen me and old age has exhausted me, I fell into new suffering. I have an indomitable and kind tongue; it was he who always betrayed me to many misfortunes at the hands of an envious person. I did not invade anyone’s thrones, 180. I did not expel anyone from my own country, I did not plot intrigues, I did not strike with slander, I did nothing contrary to the law of our victims (this is known to the Word), I did not insult either the bishop or anyone else, because I am indignant at every national leader about whom there is such a rumor (and such leaders, to the contrition of my heart, 185. are full now the sea and the wide borders of the earth). But an unkind word hurt me. I had not thought of this before, but it did some harm, because it aroused the envy of all my friends towards me. And in order to benefit from something from me and you, 190. envy, be silent, dear tongue, be silent for a while. I will not bind you forever; the hater of the word will not receive this from me. They say about one Samian king 94, who was successful in everything, that to please himself with envy, he caused grief 195. and threw his father’s beloved ring into the sea. But the fish that swallowed him was caught in the net; the fisherman brought the fish to the king, the king gave it to the servant with the ring that was in its interior; and the belly received the fish, and the hand received the ring. 200. Amazing thing! The king wanted grief, but did not find it. So it is with me. Envy always looks at my words with wild eyes, therefore I have chosen for myself the depth of silence and to this day I imitate the Samoan. But I don’t know clearly what will happen tomorrow, whether a good or bad end will meet me. You, Medicine of men, 205. stop envy and, having freed me from cruel tongues, bring me into Your lordship, where I, magnifying You with ever-living lights, could proclaim a harmonious song with my lips. Accept these silent broadcasts of my hand, 210. so that there will be a prophetic monument of my silence. Walls, doors, locks - cover me so that either a thief or the worries of life do not creep in, and so that they do not secretly steal something from my treasures; or so that the robber does not steal anything with his violent hand. 5. My treasure is God, and God’s fear, and hope, which eases the burden. How many and many are undeservedly gnawing at me and will tear me apart more and more if You do not command the rogues to calm down. 10. Although I suffer greatly and the horrors of my suffering exceed measure, I am afraid of one thing - that something worse than many evils may happen, for this is what harms the soul. You keep talking, playing with words easily, weaving together stanzas, trying, like spiders, to entangle what is light and has no support. Rattle your drums, 5. You emit flashing lightning. I have tied [my] word with [strong] bonds. Be well-fed, spies, and you are envy. I will speak inside, writing the mysteries of God in my mind, cleansing the dirt and delusions of the senses, and presenting my mind in a mirror to the Word, 10. until I perceive perfect images within myself; but the letter was silent about this. If You, Great Mind, do not want me to speak in many words, then what should I do? So that sin does not kidnap me, no law can tear me away from my children - my labors. The Trinity knows this, Which I preached to [this] city, igniting a spark that was hidden before. 5. Envy [has triumphed], and the wise have tied their tongues, but why are you, crazy, and darkened by the severity of your illness, stirring up such rumors? Don’t you know what strength the ill-mannered have now, whose relatives are insolence and depravity? 10. Jump for joy, jump for joy, every wicked person. Stones, swords, fire arrows at the defenseless. [You will get the answer] deep silence - Grigory is already very far away. 38. Song to Christ after silence on Easter My King, Christ! Since I again give the long-held word to the air, I will first name You with my lips. Before You I pour out from my mind this word - this (if I may say so) an immaculate offering of the purest sacrifice. 5. Father's light, the Word of the great Mind, more excellent than any word, the highest Light of the most high Light, the Only Begotten, the Image of the immortal Father and the Seal of the Beginning, Illuminating together with the great Spirit, the End of the immense age, the great glorious, the Giver of bliss, 10. exalted, heavenly, the omnipotent Breath of the Mind, the Ruler of the world, the Giver of Life, Creator of all that is and will be; Everything belongs to You, You have bound the foundations of the earth with a wave, and You carry everything that You wanted on an unwavering path. 15. According to Your mania, O King, the lofty sun, rising onto the fiery circle, eclipses the stars, just as You eclipse minds. According to Your mania, it lives and then disappears alternately and again the eye of the night appears in full light - the moon. According to Your mania, the zodiac circle and this measuredly whirling round dance 20. determine the measure of annual times, imperceptibly dissolving among themselves. Both motionless and moving stars, returning to their previous path, are the verb of Your Divine wisdom. Your light is all those heavenly minds that sing the glory of the heavenly Trinity. 25. Your glory is the man whom You placed here as an Angel, the hymn of Your radiance, O immortal Light and newly born for mortals, ethereal Height, and finally, to save mortals from the destruction, Flesh-Bearer! I live for You, I speak for You; I am a living sacrifice before You - the only offering 30. left to me from all my acquisitions. For You I tied my tongue, for You I release my speech. But I pray, make both of them holy, so that I will say what is proper and not think of what is impermissible; having thrown away the dirt, he poured out margarite 96, 35. He extracted gold from the sand, a rose from the prickly thorns, leaving the straw, and gathered wheat from the ears. Bringing these beginnings of my mind to You, Christ, my tongue composed the first song. On this day the great Christ is called forth from the dead to whom he was kissed. 40. On this day He repelled the sting of death, crushed the gloomy gates of dreary hell, and granted freedom to souls. On this day, rising from the grave, He appeared to the people for whom He was born, died, and raised from the dead, 45. so that we, reborn and having escaped death, might be caught up with You who ascends. On this day, the radiant and great angelic face was filled with joy, singing the song of victory. On this day I, 50. having loosened my lips from silence, lifted up a loud voice, and so I became a harpper to praise You. I opened up the interior of the mind to the mind and to the Word - the word, and then, if you wish, I will open it to the great Spirit. Seeing that in the present age many write in unmeasured speech, easily merging from the pen, and spend most of their time in works from which there is no other benefit than empty talkativeness, 5. and, moreover, they write very arbitrarily, so that in the end of everything there is no less nonsense than sea sand, or Egyptian scriptures, 97 seeing all this, I was most admired by that one thought, so that, having abandoned every other word, 10. adhere only to the words of God, just as a quiet haven is most pleasant for one who avoids a storm. For if the Scriptures provide so many supports, then the wisest thought is that those who are carried away into evil should seek refuge in them from all vain teaching. And how can you, man, writing according to simple concepts, express an undeniable word? But since it is absolutely impossible to refuse every word, when the world is divided into so many schisms 20. and everyone, in support of his deviation from the truth, resorts to the defense of these speeches, then I entered a new path of speech, which is good or bad, but pleasant to me, and I used several of my works on measured speech. 25. I did not have the intention (as many would think) to reap empty (as they say) glory in the easiest way; although I know that my opponents will call this way of writing rather people-pleasing; because most people 30. measure their neighbor’s deeds by their own measure. I also do not prefer this to divine works. My mind has never been so far away from God. What happened to me? Perhaps marvel at this. Firstly, I wanted, by working for others, 35. thereby to bind my sin 2 so that I could write together, and, caring about the measure, not write much. Secondly, to young people and everyone who loves verbal art most of all, as if it were some kind of pleasant medicine, 40. I wanted to give this attraction in persuasion to the useful, sweetening the bitterness of the commandments with art. And a tight bowstring requires some relaxation. If you want this and do not require anything more, then instead of songs and playing the lyre 45. I give you to have fun with these verses, if you sometimes want to have fun, as long as no one harms you by stealing something beautiful from you. Thirdly, although I know that this may be petty, I was nevertheless subjected to this; I don’t want strangers to have an advantage over us in speech - 50. I mean this flowery word, although we have beauty in speculation. Therefore, although, of course, I laughed at you, wise ones, nevertheless, may the lion’s mercy be shown to me. Fourthly, exhausted by illness, I found consolation in poetry, 55. like an elderly swan, retelling to myself the messages of the singing wings - this not lamentable, but the original song. Judge now, therefore, you who know the inner, if you yourself give preference to measured speech. My poems contain 60. for the most part sensible and something playful, but there is neither prolixity nor excess in them. But I think that there is also nothing completely useless; of this, if you want, the poems themselves will confirm you. For in them some are from our teaching, and some from external teachings, 65. and these are either praise of virtues, or condemnation of vices, or thoughts, or some kind of opinion, or short sayings, remarkable in the combination of speech. If it's not important, do something more important yourself. You criticize the size of the poems, and rightly so; because you yourself do not observe the size, 70. writing in iambics, producing some kind of degeneracy of poetry. What blind man recognized the one who saw? Who, without moving from the spot, caught up with the running one? However, when you buy something you condemn, you yourself know what you are buying. For what you blaspheme, you yourself seek, and you even use the most 75. exorbitant efforts for this, that is, to write poetry. Or when you reprove, then will a power of attorney be born in you? For me, the kindest person is the one who is shipwrecked on land. You, the wise ones, manage to do something similar. Isn't this an obvious lie, isn't it double-speak? 80. Recently there was a monkey, but now it has become a lion. The love of fame is so easily perceived! However, learn that in Scripture much is written in measured speech, as the wise Jews say. Wouldn't you also call the rhythm of those jangling strings with which the ancients sang harmoniously composed speeches, in order, as I suppose, to make the pleasant a chariot for good and to form morals through sweet singing? Saul will assure you of this, freeing himself from the spirit by playing the harp (see: 1 Sam. 16:23). 90. What harm do you see in the fact that young people are brought into communion with God through decent pleasure? It is difficult to suddenly rebuild them. Let there be some noble mixture in them. But when the good becomes stronger over time, then, 95. taking away the red word, like a support from the arch, we will preserve the best in them. What could be more useful than this? And you, a zealot of severity, frowning and self-absorbed, don’t you add sweets to the food? 100. Why do you scold my speech, measuring the deeds of your neighbor by your own measure? The borders of the Medes and Phrygians do not agree with each other; The flight of jackdaws and eagles is not the same. Justice, judges, laws, judgment seats, and you, the sword, sharp against the evil, and the terrible day - the accuser of everything, and the undying worm, and the sources of all-consuming fire, 5. listen, listen to my judgment! When everything has died, envy dies; because the struggle happens with the opponent, and whoever does not stand in the way and does not resist is given honor without envy. But I died and suffer from envy, 10. although I endured struggles of all kinds in life. How can I prove this, with what evidence? They all cry out, although I have shut my mouth. Oh, that my misfortune would remain unspoken! 15. Oh, if only I could avoid desecrating my tongue by pronouncing in words (which of all bad things is the worst) and the name itself! A beast filled with poison; a dangerous and terrible storehouse of envy, a pillar of shame, shorthand for every terrible evil. Whoever should not approach the doors of salvation 20. is preferred to my mysteries, and the work of this hair shirt is placed above throwing stones at me and my purifications. Alas! Who among the wise will praise this? O You, Who penetrate into the innermost parts of my heart, control everything, and lead everything to another life! 25. They put me below the thin ones! Will the evil ones really prevail there too? They provide each other with poor help, keeping one thing in mind - the safety of their thrones. Oh, if only I had the share that I deserve! 30. But if I have no share here, You, Christ, are my part, and it is better to have You than everything that everyone else has. You are the only solid and free acquisition that no envy will deprive me of. What is this? And you, Maxim, dare to write? Do you dare write? What shamelessness! In this you have already surpassed the dogs. This is the spirit of the times - everyone dares to do anything! 5. Like mushrooms, wise men, and military leaders, and nobles, and bishops suddenly run out of the earth, although they have not previously worked on anything good for their share. What comes out of this? Virtue is humiliated and does not take advantage of ignorance, 10. because insolence enjoys impunity as soon as it utters a few words. Throw yourself headfirst and, without learning, shoot from a bow, fly on wings under the very clouds; It’s enough to want, but you don’t need to know the matter at all. 15. Apparently, you too suddenly received inspiration from the muses, as others say about the ancient sages? Apparently, some laurel branch also drove you into a frenzy? Or did you accidentally drink the divinatory waters and then begin to exude poetry, without even observing the poetic meter? 20. What incredible and hitherto unheard of news! Saul among the prophets, Maxim among the writers! After this, who is not a prophet? Who will hold back his hand? Everyone has paper and a cane; and old women can speak, write, and gather people around them. 25. And you were not afraid to excite and applause. Among the listeners there are few who are wise, but many who are Maxims and weak-minded. You need to please the latter, and you can wish the wise men a good journey after they have been shaved 30. and scoffers have shaken them. And if you need to take revenge (a wise man must be brave in everything), be brave! Let Maxim be known for his audacity. And we have the right to laugh! What is easier now than to laugh, and laugh a lot? 35. Be a vitiya, and a dog to those who insult you. In this case, no one will take advantage of you. I will exclaim again, and I will exclaim more than once: about speech! With this I will exhaust my grief, but I will not exhaust it completely. Do you dare write? Tell me: where and from whom did you learn 40.? Whose hand is this gift of writing? But yesterday it was not like that; You were also glad that the narrow cloak and the incessantly barking life and morals provided you with a meager morsel. And speech for you then was the same as a lyre for a donkey, 45. for an ox - a sea wave, for a sea animal - a yoke. Now you are our Orpheus, who sets everything in motion with his fingers, or Amphion, who creates walls with his rattling. This is what dogs are like these days if they want to have fun! It’s true that this courage was breathed into you by your old nannies, 50. your assistants, who wrote speeches together with you; for them you are a swan, for them the sounds you make are musical when, like marshmallows, they flow from the wings pleasantly spread by gentle breezes. But what and against whom are you writing, dog? 55. You are writing against a person for whom it is as natural to write as it is for water to flow and for fire to warm. I will not say that you are writing against someone who, as far as humanly possible, has not offended you in any way, although he was offended a lot. What madness! What ignorant insolence! 60. You challenge a horse, my dear, to compete with you in a race on the plain, with your helpless hand you inflict wounds on a lion. Is it possible to assume that you had one thing in mind: you hoped that, even if you insulted, you would not be honored with a word. This is one thing that seems smart to me about you. 65. For who, with common sense, would want to get involved with a dog? About your own misfortunes and a prayer to Christ for the end of life. Dear land, and the sea, and the native and foreign side, and youth, and gray hair in the west of life, and winged speeches - vain labor, and those speeches that the bright spirit gave birth to, and cities, and my refuge - the cliffs, 5. which I have only walked around, trying to get closer to the Divinity of Christ! Why did I alone walk the sorrowful path, and here and there changing the way of a difficult life? I have never once been able to firmly plant my light foot on the earth, but only disasters incessantly lead me to greater disasters? 10. Teach me, Wisdom, why do I have such a burden? Why do the pious work hard, but the lost know no work? Is this a punishment for sin? Or the coals with which life is purified, like gold in a furnace? 15. Or am I, like Job, challenged by an evil and envious enemy to fight with him, and You, as Your fighter, having anointed me in advance with abundant oil, bring me out naked for a great feat, in order to then reward and glorify the ascetic? All this is known to You alone, my King, the Word, because You rule the whole world according to great and hidden laws, 20. Of which, perhaps [only] a small reflection fully reaches us, covered with clay and having myopic eyes. But I am weary with life, I can barely catch my breath on earth, vulnerable to many disasters from enemies and from friends, which saddens me beyond measure. 25. Therefore I cry and fall at Your knees. Give the end of life to Thy dead man, give rest to the weary, and lead me to the easiest life, for which I endure sorrows and have endured thousands of sorrows; rapt in angelic faces, 30. bring the traveler closer to the heavenly chamber, where is the glory of the one great God, shining in three Lights! Where are the catchphrases? - In the air. Where is the flower of my youth? - Died. Where's the glory? – Hidden in obscurity. Where is the fortress of well-built members? - Struck by illness. Where is the estate and wealth? – God took some, and envy handed over others into the rapacious hands of evildoers. And the parents and the sacred duo of half-bloods went to the grave. I had only one homeland left, but an evil demon drove it out of there, raising black waves against me. Now I am a lonely wanderer, wandering on a foreign side, 10. dragging out a sorrowful life and decrepit old age; I have neither a throne, nor a city, nor children, although I am burdened with worries about my children and, constantly wandering, spend day after day on my feet. Where will I throw off this body? Where will I meet my end? What earth, what strange-loving grave will shelter me? 15. Who will put a finger on my fading eyes? Is he pious and a friend of Christ, or one of the evil-believers? - Of course, all this is carried by the wind, and one faint-hearted person may be troubled by the thought: will my flesh be given over to the coffin - this is a lifeless burden, 20. or will it remain unburied as a prey for wild beasts, beasts, or shameless dogs, or birds, or, if You wish, will it be turned to ashes, scattered in the air, or thrown without a coffin on high cliffs, or will it rot even in rivers and under noisy rains. For I will not remain alone in obscurity, my ashes alone will not remain unfolded, 25. as they should be; although for many it would be better if their ashes were not put together. On the contrary, the last day, by God's will, will gather everyone together from the ends of the earth, even if someone was turned to ashes and lost his limbs in illness. One thing brings tears from me and brings me into fear - this is the judgment of God, rivers of fire and terrible dark abysses. 30. Christ the King! You are my fatherland, my fortress, my bliss, my everything! Oh, that in You I might find peace in my life and a reward for all my worries! 44. On hypocritical monks One foolish man, living luxuriously, rich and arrogant, recently decided to claim that I was living in luxury. Above all else, he said that I am rich because I am free from business, I have a garden and a small spring. But, I answered him, you, unfortunate one, are silent about 5. tears, about the bridle placed on the belly, about the ulcers on the knees, about the vigil. For with all this monks mortify their flesh, namely true monks (and we will throw the unskilled ones to the crows). But what, do you think, is the soul doing, 10. which is at war with the body and takes up arms against the world? Listen, peace lovers, who boast so much and so briefly, listen to what the monks say: “You gain, you grow rich, you are given marriage, children and all the pleasures that land and sea bring. And we have, maybe 15. a spring or a small garden, or a cool breeze, or tree shade - the least valuable assets. If you call this luxury, then Christians should no longer breathe.” Let them complain about this alone! One law, one God, one title; 20. Christ desires that everyone, having come off the flesh, should be equally saved. But you force us to perfection, as if you are not obliged to serve people in any way. And if we have committed ourselves to serving only God, He Himself knows this. You are not worthy to judge me, even though I am bad, because your wounds are worse than mine. 25. How gloomy and pale you are, young man! You walk without shoes with your hair down, you can barely utter a word, your chiton hangs from your belt, or your black robe drags primly at your heels. If all this is for the sake of faith, then a whole life should testify to this. 30. And if there is only one picture, then let another one praise it! After this, “no one, in your opinion, should take up the plow or the spade, no one should pay taxes, no one should worry about feeding their parents, but if only you had a thick beard and hairy clothing that would rub your neck, and then propose new dogmas! 35. But if you speak against the rules of the tongue and throw stones at everyone, you are an Angel, and your hair has considerable power. Whether someone now leads an unclean life, or is given over to covetousness, or has hands stained with blood, or has given place within himself to a numerous legion - do not exhaust your members, do not exhaust yourself with tears or labors 40. (all this is a fable), but turn over the books 98 and, having collected all the sayings, become a heretical leader; with this you will atone for all your sins.” It is best to exercise the plump flesh in all possible ways: prayer, fasting, worries, vigils. 45. For the pure tends to become even more pure, but the vicious must destroy at least part of the sin in itself. If someone is a hypocrite, I delight in him because he troubles his flesh and in this way bears the punishment for deception. The fattened flesh and the enlarged belly 50. cannot pass through the narrow gate (see: Matthew 17:13). What have I endured, unfortunate one? What kind of crying will correspond to my suffering? Where can I find a sufficient source of tears? What song will I compose? Whether anyone mourned the death of children, venerable parents, 5. dear wife, or the destruction of a dear homeland by a destructive fire, or the defeat of members by a cruel disease, no one lamented as much as I weep for my cruelly suffering soul, in which (oh, ill-fated me!) the heavenly image perishes. There is no doubt that man is a creature and the image of the great God. 10. Everyone comes from God and goes to God, who, having set his mind on grief and bound his flesh in spirit, has the merciful Christ as the leader of his life, and devotes his acquisitions, tongue and hearing, the very mind and strength - everything to the future life, who, 15. from the all-consuming world, stealing everything that the thief of someone else’s property, the godless Belial, has taken possession of, brings this into treasuries that are harder than those on earth, and are plundered and destroyed, in order to behold the King himself, so that, 20. having put off the flesh and the opposing fatness, one becomes god and spirit, becomes in the rank of the radiant angelic face, for great labors acquires an even greater reward, not as before, looking at the light image of the tabernacle, at the written and destructible image of the law, 25. but pure contemplating the truth itself with the eyes of the mind and singing a festive song with the lips. This is the purpose of human life; The greatness of Christ’s suffering leads the inhabitants of the earth to this. For Christ, being God, the Author of life, the Highest of all ages, always the Complete Image of the immortal Father, took on the form of a servant, 30. tasted death, met life a second time, in order to deliver me from slavery and the bonds of death, returning to a better life. 35. But I did not observe the venerable mysteries of God, although my soul was initiated into the mysteries of the heavenly ascent. The rough dust weighs me down; I could not rise from the mud and turn my eye to the light. And he did, it’s true; but a cloud came between us and my eyes were covered - 40. this is rebellious flesh and earthly spirit. There are many vain worries of a wandering mind in the heart; they turn first to one, then to the other, and alienate Christ, God the Word, from me, because the Bridegroom does not tolerate communication with a soul alien to Him. 45. There are many harmful potions of destruction on the tongue, because the tongue is half of all human vices, whether it spews out obvious evil - anger, which, especially strong, in its impulses takes away a person’s mind, or, harboring an insidious intent in the chest, 50. pours meek speeches from soft lips. Oh, if only some kind of door were put to both my eyes and my mouth, which are not always opened for good, so that I could see and hear only what was good, and for what was bad, both my sight and my hearing would close themselves! 55. And the best exercise for hands is for them, clean, to constantly raise themselves to the sky and be obedient to the heavenly laws; equally for the feet, so that they walk on a smooth path, and not along thorns, not along rocks, not along an unholy path. But now, although each member given to me by God is useful in itself, and given for a useful purpose, 60. yet sin turned it into a weapon of death for me. What law governs me? Why did I become a prisoner of the flesh on earth? How is the body mixed with the light spirit? I am not all pure nature - mind, not all and worse - dust, but composed of both and something else with them. 65. And therefore I endure the incessant anxiety of warfare between those who are mutually at odds - both flesh and soul. I, the image of God, am drawn into sinfulness; the worst in me unjustly resists the better, or I run away from sins and resist them, but not without difficulty, 70. after many struggles and with only heavenly help. For there are two, as if there were two minds in me: one is good - and it follows everything that is beautiful, and the other is worse - and it follows everything that is bad. One mind goes to the light and is ready to submit to Christ; 75. And the other - the mind of flesh and blood - is drawn into darkness and agrees to surrender to the captivity of Belial. Or one enjoys earthly things, seeks what is useful for himself not in the permanent, but in the transitory, loves feasts, quarrels, burdensome satiety, 80. the shame of dark deeds and deceptions, follows the broad path and, covered with an impenetrable haze of unreason, amuses himself with his own destruction; and the other admires the heavenly and hoped for as real, in God alone he believes 85. the hope of life, but here, subject to various accidents, he considers it to be worthless smoke, loves poverty, labor and good cares and follows the narrow path of life. 90. Seeing their struggle, the Spirit of the great God descended from above and gave help to the mind, stopping the uprising of restless flesh or pacifying the troubled waters of black passions. But even after this, the flesh has furious strength and does not stop fighting; the struggle remains indecisive. 95. Sometimes the dust is humbled by the mind, and sometimes the mind again follows the overpowering flesh against its will. But although he wants one thing, namely the best, however, while doing something else, precisely what he hates, he mourns the painful slavery, the delusion of the first-born father, the disastrous conviction of the mother 100. - this mother of our insolence, the criminal lie of the reptile bloodsucker - the serpent, who rejoices in human sins, mourns the tree, or the fruit of the tree harmful to man, and the harmful food, and the gates death, 105. and shameful nakedness of the members, and even more dishonorable expulsion from paradise, or from the tree of life. The sick mind laments about this. But my flesh even now directs its gaze to our ancestors and to the murderous tree; she constantly loves all kinds of sweet food, 110. which the evil destroyer, the serpent, shows her only to seduce her. That's why I cry; and the King, who rules over everything and weighs everything on His scales, I tearfully pray that He will mercifully judge soul and body, stop fighting and the worst (as it should, because this is much more beneficial for both the soul and the body) 115. Submit it to the better, so that the soul burdened with dust does not drag along the earth and does not sink like lead into the depths, but that the dust yields inspired spirit and image 120. and sin melted away like wax from fire. I beg for this, and I myself apply many medicines to the rough flesh, in order to stop the cruel illness, in order to hold with strong bonds the power of the flesh, as the most treacherous beast; trembling an evil wave, 125. I put barriers to my womb, I exhaust my heart with intractable sorrow and shed streams of tears; I bow my contrite knees before the King, I spend nights without sleep, I wear sad clothes. Others think of feasts, rejoicing, laughter, 130. gorging - these amusements of a blossoming age. Others again find consolation in spouses, in sons, in the fragile glory of possessing enormous wealth. Others are again amused by public assemblies, groves, baths, city pomp, 135. laudatory speeches, the noise of those accompanying them, when they themselves rush quickly on high chariots. For mortals have many pleasures in a varied life, and even the most adversities are mingled with joy. But I died to life, 140. I barely catch my breath on the earth, I run around cities and people, talking with animals and with cliffs, I live alone, far from others, in a dark and unfinished cave, in one tunic, without shoes, without fire, I feed only on hope, and have turned into a reproach to all earthly beings. 145. My bed is tree branches, my bed is a reliable hair shirt and the dust on the floor, soaked with tears. Many sigh under iron chains; others, as far as I know, eat ashes for food, and their drink is dissolved with bitter tears; 150. Others, covered with winter snows, stand like trees for forty days and nights, raising their hearts from the earth and having one God in their thoughts. Another closed his mouth and put a bridle on his tongue, which, however, 155. does not always tighten, but weakens it for only hymns, so that his mouth would be an animated harp, struck by the Spirit. And whoever has consecrated his head to Christ, for the sake of a pious vow, guards it from being cut. The other closed his eyes and put the doors to his ears, 160 so that the sting of death would not sting him from somewhere inconspicuously. I used these six methods of healing against hostile flesh. Already gray hair serves as an aid against my passions. There were also many unforeseen storms that, against my will, threw me into unrest and crushed me with severe sorrows. But the inflexible flesh 165. does not obey suggestions, is not humbled by disasters, is not tamed by time, but always with closed eyes hurries along the path of the opposite life and, like the legion 99, seeks rapids. If sometimes it succumbs briefly to God’s 170. fear, or labors, or Divine verbs, then, like a plant straightened by the hands of a heli-grader, it bends again into its former curvature. O miserable tributaries of death! O human race - we, who, being consumed by sins, are consoled by our demons, 175. do not respect the intelligence that God invested in us at birth, when he gave us the seed of life; We are not afraid of the law that King Christ inscribed, first on stone tablets, covering the truth with writing, and finally on our hearts - 180. with the radiance of the Holy Spirit! With our undertakings we oppose the sufferings of Christ, with which Christ delivered us from painful passions, when he took on flesh and was nailed to the cross, to which he nailed together both the black sin of the creature and the power of Belial, 185. so that we, having been reborn and risen from the grave, with the great Christ, would receive the glory on high. Numerous are the gifts of God to all earthly beings; our tongue cannot express their greatness. 190. God draws me to life either by humbling me with blows when I am wicked, or by smiling joyfully at me when I please Him. For He governs everything with a mind filled with favor towards man, although the depth of His wisdom is hidden, although between our race and the Divine there is deep darkness, through which few 195. penetrate with a sophisticated gaze, namely those alone whom life has enlightened and who, having become pure, have touched pure wisdom. But Christ has vouchsafed me with preferential glory. First he gave me as a gift to his mother, who prayed from the depths of her heart, and He Himself accepted me 200. as a gift from my parents, who, of all that they had, had nothing more valuable than their son. And then with night visions he instilled in me a love for a chaste life. Hear me now, you godly wise ones, and those who are defiled in heart, open the doors to your ears! 205. I was a young boy, or even not quite a boy, at such an age when the mind receives the outline of good or bad, but, not yet having in itself a model for firm mental ideas, first of all imprints other people’s morals on the heart. My parents, however, colored my mind with not bad 210. colors, showing me the advantages of virtue, because they themselves, unanimously zealous for piety, both in their gray hairs and in their praiseworthy morals, were an object of surprise for all earth-born; enjoying happiness and physical health, 215. human life flowed smoothly. One of them once stood far from the great herd, in which he now occupies a high place; Before he was not even a sheep, but then he became the most excellent of sheep, from a sheep he became a shepherd; and now he is the father and shepherd of shepherds. And although he did not begin the abundant harvest at an early time, 220. nevertheless, with his labors he greatly eclipsed those who began the work before him. And at one time, in the midst of deep sleep, I had such a vision, 230. easily igniting in me a love for virginity. I imagined that next to me stood two maidens in white robes, both beautiful and of the same age; the whole decoration of both consisted in the fact that they did not have any decorations on them, which, in fact, is the beauty of the wives. 235. Neither gold nor hyacinths adorned their necks, nor thin silk fabrics, nor tunics of delicate linen covered their members. The eyes were not shaded with tinted eyelashes. They did not use any of the means 240. which were invented by men who cared about the artificial decoration of women's appearance to excite voluptuousness. Their golden curls did not spill over their shoulders and did not play with the light breath of the breeze. The beautiful outerwear was tied with a belt and went down the legs to the toes. 245. Covering their cheeks with a veil, they stood with their eyes cast down to the ground. Both were adorned with a beautiful blush of modesty, as much as could be seen from under the covers that fit tightly to their faces. Their lips, enclosed in silence, were likened to a rose, 250. lying in cups sprinkled with dew. Seeing them, I was very happy, because I reasoned that they must be much higher than ordinary earth-born creatures. And they loved me because I looked at them with pleasure; Like a dear son, they kissed me with their lips; 255. and when I asked what kind of women they were and where they came from, they answered: “One of us is Purity, and the other is Chastity. We stand before King Christ and enjoy the beauties of heavenly virgins. But you, son, 260. unite your mind with our hearts, and your lamp with our lamps, so that you, enlightened, having been carried through the ethereal heights, we can place you before the radiance of the immortal Trinity.” Having said this, they flew away through the ether, and my gaze followed those flying away. It was a dream, 265. but for a long time the heart was delighted with the venerable visions of the night and the images of bright virginity. The words of the virgins were renewed in my thoughts even then, when the concept of good and bad is clearly imprinted on a person, when the mind prevailed over love and the beauty 270. of the delightful night vision began to appear unclear. Just as dry straw is suddenly illuminated by an invisible spark nourished within it, and first a small flame appears, and then a vast pillar of fire rises, so I, ignited by a vision, was instantly illuminated by love, and its rays, not hiding in the depths of my soul, became visible to everyone. First, I became close to pious people who, having renounced the earthly world, escaped the bonds of marriage, so that, having been inspired, they would follow the King Christ and move from here with 280. great glory. I loved them, I embraced them with all my heart, and chose them for myself as leaders of heavenly hope. And then he himself rejected the heavy yoke of marriage, loving the high lot of eternally young creatures; 285. because the natures that inhabit the vast sky do not know marital ties and are above restless passions. And such, firstly, is the bright, great God, and after Him such are God’s servants who stand near the high throne, receive the first ray of pure God and, 290. enlightened by him, teach the light to mortals. And those who are united together from soul and body are dual in nature, they are the products of the opposing dust, they love married life and are ready to sow into the flesh. But God the Word, having brought us a better lot, 295. placed it away from the flesh and separated it from the deceptive world, and brought it closer to the celibate life of the immortals. My heart yearned for Him with love. I did not establish my weak feet on the earth below, but, having tasted the hard leaves there, like sweet milk 300. or honey, I did not want to come closer to the bitter food, to the soul-destroying sin born from it. For me, feasts were not attractive, everything that youth cares about had no pleasure, neither soft clothing, nor luxurious curls, 305. nor the unseductive charm of shameful speeches, nor incontinent laughter, nor the boiling of hostile flesh. To others I gave up the rapids, and the mountains, and neighing horses or a pack of hounds. Having rejected all earthly pleasures, 310. I bowed my neck under the yoke of strict chastity. It nourished me, caressed me, grew me into great glory and carefully placed me in the arms of Christ. But You, the Father and the Father’s Word and the Most Blessed Spirit, are the support of our shaky life! Do not allow, 315. the enemy, the opponent of Your hope, to crush me with his hands, so that I, like a black ship that, after a safe voyage, is approaching the shore and is almost already touching a nearby pier, suddenly a strong storm, 320. hitting the lowered sails with an all-crushing breath, carries me back and, returning to the wide ridge of life, and here and there, overwhelmed by great disasters, finally throws me onto the hidden pitfalls. And this is the intention of the envious Belial. 325. He always persecutes the human race with hatred and does not tolerate the earthly becoming heavenly, because for his own malice he was cast down from heaven to this earth. He, the unfortunate one, desired to have the glory of the first Beauty and the great royal honor of God himself, 330. but instead of light he clothed himself in terrible darkness. That is why he always enjoys dark deeds and has dominion over dark sin. This perverted mind takes on a double image, spreading first one or the other network. 335. He is either the deepest darkness, or, if you open him, he immediately turns into a bright Angel and deceives minds with a gentle smile. This is why special care is needed so as not to encounter death instead of light. Even bad people can avoid a vicious life, 340. because open vice is hateful to many. I praise the one who, with the sophisticated eyes of the spirit, denounces the insidious and invisible enemy. But You, Merciful One, protect my old age and my gray head and bring a good end to my life! Just as before you caringly 345. You loved me and day by day led me to greater perfection, bringing me closer to good hopes, so from hostile and painful worries lead me into the benign 100 haven of Your kingdom, so that, glorifying You, O King, with ever-living lights, 350. I would be worthy of heavenly glory. Pernicious flesh - a black wave of the evil beliar! Pernicious flesh is the root of manifold passions! Pernicious flesh is the friend of this fleeting world! Pernicious flesh is the enemy of heavenly life! 5. The flesh is my enemy and friend, a pleasant war, an unfaithful good, the flesh constantly eating the fruit of the murderous tree, clay, a dirty chain, heavy lead, an indomitable beast, the offspring of a substance at war with me, worthless ebullience, the tomb and bonds of your king - 10. the heavenly image that I received from God! Will you still not put an end to shameless vices, will you not submit to the spirit and gray hair, O accursed evil-doer? Christ, when the ugliness of matter brought beauty with words, formed you alone with His own hands 15. and finally united you with the Divine, so that the beloved creature, the heir of the great life, but whom the stupefying Belial burdened with suffering, could save and by His death deliver from cruel death. Therefore, show me respect, 20. stop being mad and harboring irreconcilable enmity towards my soul! By the hand of the immortal God and that calamitous day, which will finally bring together all the affairs of mortals, I testify to you that, having exhausted and overthrown you with sorrows of every kind, I will make you more powerless than the dead themselves, 25. if you do not stop the madness and bleeding in yourself by touching the hem of the pure robe of Christ (see: Matt. 9:20-22). Visit me, finally, a cleansing source of tears and laborious vigil of body and mind, so that the flame in me cools down, 30. the fetid rottenness of painful passions is washed away! Refuse satiety, belly; dry up, knees bowed to the ground; Let ashes be my bread, let hard sackcloth cover my pampered members, serving as a protection for the overwhelmed soul! 35. Come to me, care that does not dare to raise its gaze, the suppressor of dust, and constantly remind me of the coming scourges! These are my remedies for unreason! But Yours, Christ, is both pure life and life from the dead. Who graciously received the progenitor of our sin and our blood, 40. when he began to mourn his temptation and deception? Who cleansed the corrupted king Manasseh with tears? Who freed David from great sin? Who saved humble Nineveh, seeing her in tears? Who shed tears for the youngest son? 45. Who, while joyfully accepting the pure through life, did not cast out the publicans? Who laid the lost sheep on his ramen? Who cleansed lepers, drove out cruel diseases, giving benefits to body and soul? These are your gifts, O Blessed One, O Light of men! Come up 50. onto the troubled sea of ​​our life, and the storm will immediately subside! 47. Reproaches to the unreasonable aspirations of the soul Night ghost, maenad - my poor heart! Night ghost, maenad, how long will you chase pleasures, looking at everything around you? Will you not be more chaste? Will you not extinguish the fire 5. which ignites unlawful desires in you? Will you really not awaken the rational power that is innate to you, taking irritable power as your champion? What happened to you, my soul? Why do you think about what is inconsistent with your dignity? Or don’t you know that you alone have been given the reins 10. and that you must drive, as it were, a chariot harnessed to three horses of dissimilar properties? One horse is noble, another is disorderly, the third is meek. And if you loosen the reins of a violent one, he rears up, becomes stubborn, puts you in difficulty along the way, 15. rushing without knowing where; he attaches the average horse to himself, convinces him to be at the same time with him, and enslaves the noble horse, like a captive, and carries him away against his will, although he grieves about being led astray. But a wild horse, disorderly, with the most senseless aspiration, 20. rushing uncontrollably down, as if from a steep slope, does not look forward at all, does not stop his running until he rushes into the gates of hell, destroying both himself and you, unfortunate soul! And if you reasoned in accordance with your nature, 25. you would gladly leave the entire path to a noble horse who knows well the path leading to things above; You would strictly instill in an average horse that he should show his zeal wherever he should and run at the same time 30. with a smart horse; and she would begin to subdue the disorderly horse with strong butts 101, without loosening the bridle for a minute. Then your path would be joyful, respectable, calm, carefree, full of hope. For reason, like a noble horse, 35. which is given by nature the power to take the upper hand, prevails and, constantly stretching forward, fearlessly fixing its gaze on the mountain, bypassing all the difficulties here, does not slow down its running speed until it reaches the lot appointed by God, saving both itself and you, blessed soul! I'm alive and dead. He who is wise combines this. I am dead in soul, but my flesh wants to be strong. Let my soul live better and my flesh die! 49. Crying and supplication to Christ Alas for me! I hasten to heaven, to God’s abode, but this flesh holds me back; There is no way out for me from a multi-wandering life, from the hated sin that tied me to the earthly, 5. deafening me from everywhere with sudden worries, eating up the beauty and gifts of the soul. But You, King, release, release me from earthly bonds and bring me to heaven! 50. Against the devil during illness You came to me again, treacherous one, and, as is clear, you came in order to torment the depths of my heart within me. You want the sacred image in me to fall from the strong and repeated shocks of this life. 5. You attacked strong flesh and relaxed me from head to toe, resolving the bonds of those juices with which God moistened the dry matter in me, just as, in His world-creating wisdom, He dissolved heat and cold, so that through balance the inextricable connection of the body was preserved, and from this I learned to escape discord in life. 10. You came with murderous intentions and poured out all the poison of your bitter malice on me, poor one. It was not enough that I endured the burdensome old age and sorrow - this burden of the Trinacre cliffs. 15. I am still exhausted by a painful and devouring illness, which year after year wears away my members. For this I weep and groan, like a mighty lion caught in the trapper’s net. I do not like playful speeches, 20. nor pleasant conversations, even the most cheerful ones, nor city markets, nor groves, nor baths, nor all the flowers of this deceptive life. This was not attractive to me before, since I withdrew from earthly things and embraced Christ. 25. I cry because the life-giving eye of the great Christ has turned away from me, Who once looked at me with care, destined me for glory even in the womb of an immaculate mother, and delivered me from the cold sea and from passions. I cry because I have let go of the reins of the godly people; Not myself, however, 30. rejected them, but I do not hold them in my hands. And this people first admired my speeches, when the Triple Radiance illuminated them from my lips. Just as a weaned baby, in the arms of the mother who gave birth, squeezes the dry nipple with greedy lips 35. and the mother does not satisfy his desire, so these people have now clung their ears to my lips and thirst for the source that formerly flowed for many, but now does not give them even a small drop. Although others pour out sweet waters, yet the hearers mourn, 40. because the word of their father has fallen silent for them. Where are my all-night hymns, during which I, like an animated stone, unshakably planted my feet, either alone talking with Christ, or together with the people enjoying the sacred songs alternately proclaimed? 45. Where is the pleasant weariness of kneeling, during which I shed hot tears and collected darkened thoughts? Where are the hands that fed the poor and served the sick? How exhausting the exhausted members are! I no longer raise my hands before pure sacrifices, 50. in order to share in Christ’s great sufferings; I no longer compose images pleasing to the virtuous martyrs, and I do not honor their precious blood with words of praise. Mold lies on my books, my speeches are unfinished; who will be so disposed towards me as to bring them to the end? 55. Everything died while still alive; my life has become exhausted and has become weaker than a ship in which there are no connections. But, however, no matter how much you pursue me, you annoying demon, I will never bow the knees of my heart to you. Not wounded, not deposed by you, I will go to my mother - the earth. 60. Let the worm grind away the serpent's prey. Hit the skin, murderer, but the soul is invulnerable. I will return to Christ the image of God that I received from Him. You once placed your bonds on the great Job, but you yourself were put to shame, and he was crowned by the great hero of heroism, 65. you made his victory glorious through your proclamation and returned to him in double measure everything that you had stolen from him. This is the law of Christ's mercy! But command me, Christ, to finally become healthy! Your word is medicine for me. I am the new Lazarus among the dead; but say: 70. arise! - and according to Your word the dead man will live (see: John 11:43). I am new, relaxed, motionless on my bed; but say: strengthen yourself! - and I will go and carry the bed (see: Luke 5:25). I want to steal the healing power from Your shouts with my hands; stop the rapid flow of blood in withered flesh (see: Matthew 9:22)! I, Your heritage, 75. bow before You, like a Canaanite woman bowed in body; restore me, O King! Mope is worried, and You are resting in sweet sleep; but awaken immediately, and according to Your word the disturbance will subside (Mark 4:39). I lament; the disease will take hold of my members. 80. For no one is completely excluded from the common fate of mortals, and I am just like everyone else. Thus God commands that none of us should raise our eyebrows high and consider ourselves celestial, but that everyone, looking at the help of the great God, should feel the need for a strong incentive to piety. 85. However, I don’t complain so much because of the illness: it also serves as a kind of cleansing for my spiritual part, and everyone needs cleansing, no matter how strong he is, because these very bonds impart a kind of blackness to mortals. But in my sorrows I am much more concerned about the faint-hearted; 90. I am afraid that one of them will stumble, seeing my misfortunes. Not many people are strong-hearted, lovingly accept every visit from God, whether it is pleasant or sorrowful for them, and they know that there is a reason for everything, although it is hidden in the depths of God’s wisdom. 95. On the contrary, many laugh 102 at the pious when they are exhausted, and say that their service to God remains without any reward, or even take root in their minds the completely unworthy thought that everything in the world was arranged by chance and it is not God, who reigns on high, who controls human affairs, otherwise, 100. they say, a different order would prevail among us. Remember this, Great One, and help Your servant; don’t bring me to the shameful end of my life! I am Your servant, I lay my hands on Your Gifts and on the heads of those who themselves bow 105. and call me a helper in illness. Have mercy, Christ! If You don’t want to heal me, give me strength to endure deeds! Do not deprive me of all honor, the Word, but do not burden me either; do not leave him without a rein, but do not subject him to great suffering! Stab me with butts, O Blessed One, and not with a spear! 110. Let my ship not be completely empty of cargo, but not overly loaded either, rush across the sea of ​​life. Saturation makes you insolent, and sorrows plunge you into the darkness of the night. Balance punishment with safety! You stopped me from becoming proud; have pity on me who is exhausted! There is still time for mercy, O Just One! 115. Exhausted by misfortunes sent from above, I respect my gray hair and self-mortified members and victims. But why excess? Can I prescribe laws to the Divine? Lead me, Your servant, Christ, wherever You please! Often a young newlywed, sitting on her virgin bed, mourns the death of her beloved husband and, in her wedding attire, begins her mournful song; and the slaves and friends, 5. standing here and there, weep alternately to relieve her sadness. And the mother mourns her dear son, who has not yet reached his youthful years, and after the pains of birth suffers new torments. And another laments about his fatherland, which is devastated by the swift Ares \ Another grieves about a house that is destroyed by heavenly fire. 10. What kind of crying is appropriate for you, soul, which the destructive serpent killed, sealing God’s image with a bitter death? Cry, cry, damned one; this alone is good for you. I will leave friendly and cheerful feasts; I will leave the great glory of eloquence and the nobility of 15. blood; I will leave the houses with high roofs and all earthly happiness; I will leave even the sweet light of the sun, the sky itself and the brilliant stars with which it is crowned. I will leave all this to those who will come after me, and I myself with a bandage on my head, like a dead man and lifeless, 20. I will lie down on the bed, I will console those who mourn with my last lament, I will receive praise and unquestioning love for a short time, then a stone and under it undying corruption. However, this is not why my heart is troubled; I tremble at the only truthful scales of God. I suffered a lot of disasters, and what constitutes the height of disasters, I suffered from whom I least thought to endure. However, I did not tolerate anything that those who did me harm would tolerate. My sufferings are passing, and as far as I know, their evil deeds have been recorded by Justice 5. in iron books. Friends, fellow citizens, enemies, enemies, bosses! I have suffered many hard blows from you. I know you will say: no. But it is written in books; don't hide from me. You have come, villain (I know your plans!), you have come, unyielding, to deprive me of the coveted and eternal light. How then, being darkness, did you appear to me as light? You cannot be deceived by such deceit. And why do you always level such cruel abuse at me, 5. both openly and secretly? In what ways do you envy the pious after you cast out the first Adam, God’s creation, from paradise, outwitted the wise commandment by sin and offered bitter food to the sweet life? How can I escape from you? What remedy can you invent against your suffering? 10. First, unimportant sins, like a stream, flow into your heart, then you open a wide road for yourself, and there you enter like a large and muddy river, until your mouth or abyss swallows me. But step back further from me and lay your hands 15. on those nations and cities that have not understood God, and I am Christ’s property; I became a church and a sacrifice, then I will be a god when the soul enters into unity with the Divine. Submit yourself to God and God’s creatures, fearing God’s wrath, 20. the host of pious souls and the voice of their ceaseless chants! 55. Turning away from the devil and calling to Christ Flee from my heart, evil one! Run quickly, run from my members, run from my life, thief, serpent, fire, beliar, sin, death, abyss, dragon, beast, night, ambush, rage, confusion, envious man, murderer! You, the destroyer, 5. also sent the taste of sin and death to my first parents to destroy. Christ the King commands you to flee to the wide sea, or to the cliffs, or to a herd of pigs, as before the worthless legion (see: Mark 5:9). Well done; 10. Or I will overthrow you with the cross, before which everything trembles. I carry the cross in my limbs. The cross is in my procession; cross in my heart; the cross is my glory. Won't you stop, evil one, plotting against me? Will you fix your gaze not on the rapids, not on Sodom, not on the crowds of the godless, 15. who cut up the great Divinity, but on my gray hair, on my heart? You constantly denigrate me with gloomy thoughts; neither God nor the Victim is a trembling enemy! This mind was a loud preacher of the Trinity, 20. and now sees the end before itself. Do not defile me, you uncleanness! So that I, pure, can meet the pure heavenly Lights when their insights fall on my life. I extend my hands to you, accept me! Farewell, world, farewell, laborious, and spare those who will come after me! I appeal to God. What is this? Run away from me quickly, run away, you evil beast, murderer! Why are you bothering me without suffering any offense? Go into your swine and fill the depths; 5. They are ready to receive you, who have plunged into the abyss. But do not touch me, otherwise I will depose you with a cross: before his power, everyone is terrified and trembles with fear. Flee from these marks, tormentor, and do not bother me! Flee everyone who is wicked: Christ will be written in me; May the thought I have collected together not dissipate! Depart from me, all whom Christ does not lead away from earthly things! And this is your attack, evil one; It is you who, through cunning twists and turns, have crept into my mind and convince me to seize the bliss of pleasure. But no, you can't convince me. Adam inspired me not to believe you. 5. Crawling on the earth; I will trample on your head. And if you still have the strength to bite my leg, then I will hang you, carved from copper (see: Numbers 21:8-9), so that, looking, you will be saved from harm. Get away, get away from me, you hostile murderer! Move away, terrible ghost, furious anger! Move away! I have Christ in my heart; I brought him my soul as a gift. Give up on me and run away quickly! 5. Ah! Help me, Representative Angels! Oh! A torturer and a thief approaches me; I beg you, friends, deliver me from him! You came and came to me, angry, but stopped. As soon as I noticed the smoke, I guessed that there would be fire. A strong stench is a clear sign of a serpent. And I will raise the cross. He is the guardian of my life, 5. he binds the whole world and brings it to God. Fear the cross, go away, do not appear again. Grace calls me an undefiled leader. How long will it take you, how long will it take you to suppress me with disasters? God died for me and then rose again. Respect the font 103, move away, murderer! Just as before you caught me with bitter voluptuousness, so now you want to viciously kill me. Go away, go away; I feel your attack. You may overcome my body, but my mind will not tolerate anything. The image of God is exhausted in me; what reasoning will help me? The image, the gift of the Most Pure God, is exhausted and given over to reproach. Oh envy, envy! I am inflamed by teachings and speculations that are alien to me. 5. Do not flow, source of evil, do not exude vain thoughts! Oh, if only the tongue were not defiled by uncleanness! Oh, if only the hand did not touch the bad! Then the image of God would remain incorruptible in me. Oh, if only I would not forget You, and You would not forget me, O King, the object of search for the wise and the Triple Light! Oh, if only the enemy had not kidnapped me and hidden me in the nooks and crannies of hell, behind the hateful gates of darkness! 5. He is terrible and malicious to Your friends. But I know that I will avoid it if You remember me and constantly protect me with Your words and thoughts about You. Alas for me, my Christ! The serpent came to me again. Alas for me! came to me, very frightened. Alas for me! I have eaten from this tree of knowledge. Alas for me! envy assured me that I was envied. 5. I did not become God - and I was removed from the place of pleasure. Extinguish a little, O sword, your scorching flame and again take me under the canopy of the trees of paradise, like the thief who ascended there with Christ from the tree of the cross! 64. Another [cry] to Christ The serpent came again; I hold on to You, Christ! Let David appear and let the harp sound! Get away, get away from me, you spirit that presses evilly (1 Samuel 16:15)! If my body was upset, I would look for a doctor. And if I were some poor man, I would go to a rich man. During a storm, he would take refuge in a shelter. And if I had been offended, I would have resorted to laws and courts. Sometimes a bush would save someone falling from a rapid. But if the molester in me of God’s image in me stumbles, then in whom will I find support other than You, Lord? New, new something, oh God’s Word, new something is happening to me! The depth of my heart is empty; there was no wise word or wise thought in her. It is true that the evil spirit quickly flees from me; 5. However, his place is not taken in me by anyone’s best. Fill me with Your blessings, so that envy does not come to me again and turn me into your work workshop, which will be worse than before! I was deceived, my Christ, and, relying too much on You, I flew high, and fell very deeply. But lift me up again, for I realize that I have deceived myself. And if I become arrogant again, then let me fall again, 5. and let my fall be crushing! If You accept me, I am saved; and if not, then I am lost. But is Your goodness exhausted for me alone? Those who hate me say (and they say, as it seems to me, unfairly: after all, how can a righteous man despise his friends? How can I not cry to God? To Him, 5. who first established everything, who knows everything clearly, who sees everything with vigilance?); but they speak as if they were overcome by envy, from envy that justly exhausts those who possess it, and they themselves suffer, and rightfully so. 10. What do you think they are saying? They say that they themselves, the unfortunate me (for they think so), having thrown me out of the city of Constantine, were freed from envy? Wonderful! [But as if it were not so!] 15. For they are filled with heaviness, but I am filled with courage. Paving paths untrodden, the customs of the fathers and the laws deteriorated, when everything bad over the law - wealth, pride, luxury, lust - 20. now prevails. For they are so damaged in their minds that they themselves do not hesitate to say what it is proper for those who speak to hide from other haters. 25. For depravity is blind, so it also harms the ability to think. Therefore, let us not have a word about them, let nothing be relevant to us: whether they speak badly about us, whether they speak about us fairly 105. 30. Let them say what they want, for nothing moves more easily than the tongue, so let him say something against us. [However,] many use it more precisely, since they speak without envy. 35. But if they really don’t do me any harm, then it would be better to say so. For the path to the worst is wide (see: Matt. 7:13), even if it does not carry anyone away. There is a rumor that I am defeated by great thrones 106, 40. like those from whom I came out, even if they were poor and weak, I despise. They speak clearly about themselves. For if anyone suffered, then let him understand it that way, but I did not suffer. 45. I was admitted to some, and was driven away from others, 107 but that’s how God determined it. The people, the shepherds, called me to one, and the Spirit required my [eloquent] tongue. For it was necessary to correct the rude people 108 50. with the firmness of life, with words and with many efforts of teachings (dogmas), like [guiding] a ship in the middle of a stream. Others were not allowed to be released from the body on the day of death 109 . 55. Beautiful and good (who will deny this?) and filled with the Spirit, which we now constrain [within ourselves], and at times we quickly fall away [from Him], when we look bad at others. The people do not have the high throne of the shepherd 110. greater than before. But this is not my work 111, but the work of Your hand 112, which was the boldness. Jonah did not know that he was fleeing from God’s command, but was captured 65. by a storm, a lot, an animal, a womb, an eruption, because of which the preacher became a preacher. But I was like someone free from thrones and dangers. And hastily calmed his mind, diligent in communion with God. Then everyone, like kites, flocked to the smell of carrion, surrounded me, and the people were torn apart by worthless divisions. How did You bring me [to this] Christ, 75. the bridle of my life and heart? For this is Your business. Like four-day-old Lazarus, You brought me out of the tomb. I was resurrected, they froze [in amazement], but You, my Christ 80. and strengthen this flesh, which I acquired through You, with which I carried my life, I gave every gift. And I lived in a trap among wild beasts. If the outstretching of Your hands 85. stopped the [mouths] of the lions (and You saved Daniel), but there are also lions of today, then save [us from them] (what remains but to be found and slaughtered by the evil ones? O evil ones, we are defeated). You will force them with just punishments, 90. and weaken them in some way with Your anger (for will an intemperate hand bring You even one [good] thought?). But frighten some, glorify others, O King, those who glorify You. 95. Protect, protect those dear to You, we are perishing! Look only at those who raise their hands to You. The most evil ones laugh at Your Providence and cannot condemn themselves, 100. because they think with pride. Increase the small flock, and [me] the small shepherd [who has come] from the large [flock]. But if You wished, then from a small thing I would again become great on Your thrones. Mentor! A terrible wave is engulfing me, Your disciple; wake up before I die! Just lead, and the storm will die. I dare to say something to You, my Christ: do not allow the weight of sorrows to crush and extinguish me! For many are inferior to You, and You have had mercy on them; Do not judge me according to what I deserve; but remove, remove most of the burden from me! Who can bear the burden of even one day? 10. To whom will I resort when I am burdened with suffering? The serpent came to me again. I eat for You, O God; support, support me, do not betray Your image to desecration, lest the enemy snatch me away like a bird from a nest! Alas! And I’m afraid of the trial, and I want permission. 5. Here I am driven, I don’t have a moment of rest in my life. And you are calling me there, but I do not have the boldness. I am yours, Christ! Save me as You please! I suffer from illness and my body is exhausted. Other high-ranking people may laugh at my suffering. My limbs are relaxed and my legs walk unsteadily. I don’t know whether this is 5. a consequence of abstinence, or a consequence of sins, or some kind of struggle. However, thanks to my Ruler! This may be better for me. But forbid disease, forbid it with Your word; Your word is my salvation! 10. And if you don’t forbid it, give me patience to endure everything. Let corruption go to corruption; keep the image: then you will have in me a perfect servant. The color has fallen, the time of harvest is approaching. My hair turned white; the threshing floor calls to itself the ear; there is no longer any unripeness in the berry; The gathering of grapes is near. The winepress of my misery is already being worn out. 5. Oh my evil day! How can I avoid him? What will happen to me? How terrible sin is to me; how terrible it is to be full of thorns and the grapes of Gomorrah, when Christ begins to judge the gods, to reward each according to his dignity 10. and appoint a country as much light as the eye can bear! My only hope is that under Your guidance, O Blessed One, in these short days I will again turn to You. 73. Song of propitiation The final feat of life is near; the thin voyage is over; I already see execution for a hated sin, I see gloomy Tartarus, a fiery flame, deep night and the shame of exposed deeds that are now hidden. 5. But have mercy, O Blessed One, and grant me at least a good evening, looking graciously at the rest of my life! I have suffered a lot, and my thoughts are filled with fear: have not the terrible scales of Your justice, O King, already begun to pursue me? May I myself bear my lot by moving from here 10. and willingly yielding to the heart-consuming misfortunes; But to you who will live after me, I give a commandment: there is no profit in this life, because this life has an end. What coercion is this! Have I entered into life? - Wonderful! But why are the strong waves of this life circling me so much? I will say a word: it may be impudent, but I will say it nonetheless. If I were not Yours, Christ, this would be an insult to me. 5. We are born into the world, we get tired, we are full, we sleep, we are awake, we walk and we are sick and healthy; We have both pleasures and labors. But everything on earth also enjoys the seasons and the sun. And animals also die and rot in body, which, 10. are indeed despicable, but are not subject to responsibility. What is my advantage? In nothing but God; and if I were not Yours, Christ, this would be an insult to me. Alas! I feel cramped in this world; I know that most of my life has passed, and I already smell like a dead man, and my vices do not want to be destroyed along with the years of life. Either extend my time, Breath of men, or deliver me from evils! This is the work of Your goodness. 5. And if this does not please You, then I am already dead. What else is there more? Is there a merciful fire waiting for me? Alas! I feel cramped both in life and at the end of life. Here is sin, and there is punishment. I stand in the middle, afraid of the fiery river. I hope more in You, Christ, than in the exploits here. If I had the opportunity, at least somewhat, to cleanse myself, that would be the best thing. 5. But if evil constantly multiplies in me, then it’s time to resolve it before a worse fate befalls me. I died for this miserable life, which, like Euripus, rushes here and there, having nothing permanent even for one day. I wish to live that long life, 5. which is assigned as a reward to those who labor well. Those who enjoy life here, enjoy it; and I will see the Lord with joy. I dare to tell You something, Blessed One! This body, given by You, the creation of Your hand, I lay down before You, 10. as exhausted, weakened, stale. Here it is spread out; look! I'm exhausted. Come to me now, stretch out your hand to me, end my life before some worse end meets me. Why else are suffering and purification needed? 15. I perished, I perished among disasters, but I perish for Your sake. You are my God; You dispel the darkness of suffering. There is a matter for you, my soul, and, if you like, an important matter. Examine yourself, what you are, where you should strive, where you came from and where you should stop; Is this really the life you are living now, or is there another besides it? 5. You care, my soul! Purify your life in the following way: think about God and God’s mysteries; think about what came before the universe and what this universe means to you, where it came from, and what it will reach. You care, my soul! purify your life with such reflections: 10. how God rules the helm of the universe and turns it around; why some things are permanent, while others are fleeting, and our life is especially subject to twists and turns. You care, my soul! turn your gaze to the one God. What glory did I have before and what reproach am I now? 15. What is this conjugation in me and what is the end of my life? Think about all this and you will stop your mind from wandering. You have something to do, my soul! Whatever you endure, do not be exhausted! Where are you going, my spirit? Stop! Where are you going, unfortunate one? Alas! Alas! the charmer deceives you with his false intelligence. He will approach a little, and again retreat back, and again come closer, like a wolf to a calf, 5. caressing, luring with his wild jumps, until he distracts you from God's laws and catches you as food with his destructive teeth. Remember yourself, so that you do not forget yourself, looking at God; you took an oath, remember your salvation! Alas! Alas! the charmer deceives you with his false thoughts, the enemy deceives you, deceives you. Turn quickly to the Word so as not to fall deeper. Embrace the cross and stop the harm. Soul, look at grief, and forget everything earthly, so that your body does not subjugate you to sin! This life is short; the lucky one enjoys as if in a dream. Everyone has a different fate. 5. One pure life is always constant and long-lasting, and it is best to live such a life. Others respect either gold, or silver, or a long meal - these are children's games in real life; and for others there are roads or beautiful silk fabrics, or fields sown with wheat, or herds of four-legged animals. 5. But for me the greatest wealth is Christ. Oh, if only I could ever see Him with a pure, undisguised mind! Let peace rule the rest. If I had not bound my speaking tongue and lips with silence, when I gathered my mind together for communication with God, in order to honor the pure King with the purest thoughts (for only a mental sacrifice is beautiful), 5. I would never have comprehended the tricks of the reptile beast or, of course, would not have announced and recognized them as tricks. Often before he came to me, now like the night, now again under the deceptive guise of light; for whatever he wants, everyone becomes the inventor of death, 10. this real Proteus in the theft of other people's images 113, if only, secretly or openly, to overpower a person, because the fall of people is a pleasure for him. But until now I had never seen him the way he came to me now, during my exploits. 15. Seeing more reverence in my soul, he flared up with a strong flame of anger. Like a secret disease hiding inside unhealed flesh, stopped for a while by not entirely beneficial medicines and nourished in the invisible cavities of the body, without stopping in yet another place, 20. breaks through in another and again threatens the patient with danger, or like a stream, blocked in one place by solid dams, pushes forward and suddenly breaks out in another place, so cruel is the scolding of the envious person. If my tongue did not suffer from it, then the harm was transferred to something else. 25. However, he did not take possession of me, because Christ came - my help, Who saved the disciples from the storm; Who, having granted grace to their desires, freed many from passions and from demonic bonds. Meanwhile, an envious man tempted me, 30. As before, he caught our ancestor with murderous cunning. But you, Blessed One, hold back the battle and command me, to calm the storm, to always offer bloodless sacrifices to You! Let not the vicious one be consoled by my sufferings and sorrows, and let not the good one confuse the weak mind! Who, without illness, made the good better? And the sufferer knows that illness is his helper, 5. that it is either medicine for the defiled, or struggle and glory for the purified. To another, O King, give glory without labor, but for me it is my desire to gain You through suffering and sorrow. 85. Exhortation [to oneself], about turning to God How could a demon alienate you so much from Christ, catch your tongue, and hearing, and sight, oh unfortunate soul? Where do you wander outside the gentle Light, agitated by desires and restless worries, 5. trembling with one shadow of fear, serving seduction, drying up and melting away in gusts of boiling anger? Do not indulge, soul, in the whirlwinds of your soaring mind, but do not forget your life when you approach the flesh, the hidden and obvious shortcomings of the flesh! 10. Let everything in the world below be outraged by the cruel storms of life; Let time here, like checkers, play with everyone: beauty, good fame, wealth, power, and unfaithful happiness! And I, holding fast to Christ, will never abandon the hope that I will see the radiance of the united Trinity, 15. when the property of the great God, now mixed with the flesh, and formerly the image of God, will enter into unity with the heavenly. 25. Oh, unfortunate me! What will happen to me? How can I avoid vices by hiding my life in the depths or in the clouds? They say that there is a country where there are no animals or diseases; Oh, if only there were a place free from sin so that I could escape there! One took refuge on land from the troubled sea, another escaped under a shield from a spear, 30. and under the roof of a house from cold snow. And sin is comprehensive - a vast and inevitable kingdom. Elijah ascended to heaven in a chariot of fire. Moses once escaped the definition of a child killer-torturer. Innocent Jonah escaped from an unknown death in the belly of a whale. 35. Daniel was delivered from the beasts, and the youths from the fire. But how can I get rid of sin? Save me, my King Christ! 86. Instruction to oneself Through the present, gain a great world, without difficulty despising everything here, as just an imitation of a higher spectacle! Submit to the Word, which became flesh for your sake (see: John 1:14). What does the Word say? 5. “Let's go from here (John 14:31)! For this reason I came here, to place you in the things above, cast down by sin.” - So God commands; Let's hurry like we're inspired. [Prepare yourself for heaven as soon as possible by inspiring your precious soul with the Word. Do not leave anything unnecessary with you, but throw off all the burdens of the vain life and the disasters here!] 114 My mother, why did you give birth to me when you gave birth to labor? Why did you come to this life strewn with thorns? If you yourself lived carefree, as if disembodied, then this is a great miracle. And if you suffered, it was not out of love for me that you gave birth to me. 5. Everyone follows his own path in life: one is a farmer, and another is a sailor; another was some kind of trapper, and the other armed his hand with a spear; another is a skilled singer, another is a winner in the field. But my lot is God; my destiny is to endure many sorrows, 10. to suffer here from a painful illness. Torment, torment me, villain, until the time comes! Soon I will happily leave you, and with you all the grave disasters. My mother, why did you give birth to me, when I can neither comprehend nor express God in my thoughts, as much as I wish? 15. True, the eyes of my mind were illuminated by some small illumination of the heavenly, equally luminous Trinity, but the greater part (to my sorrow) eluded me, flying quickly like lightning, before I was satisfied with the light. And if here I could comprehend You, beloved Trinity, 20. then I would not complain about the mother’s womb that gave birth to me: this would mean that I was born at a good hour. But save, save me, God’s Word, and, having taken me out of the bitter mud, lead me into another life, where a pure mind, no longer covered by a gloomy cloud, rejoices before You, O Most Bright One! What do you want? - I ask my soul. What is important to you and what is of little importance that is highly valued by mortals? 5. Just ask for something nice, and I will gladly give it to you. Do you want to have what Gyges the Lydian had, and to reign with the help of a ring, 10. reversing its seal: to become invisible as soon as the seal is closed, and visible as soon as it is open? Do you want the fate of Midas, who died richly, 15. for whom everything turned to gold and who, as punishment for his immoderate desire, suffered a gold famine? Do you want transparent stones, rich fields, 20. many herds, oxen and camels? I will not give this to you: it is not useful for you to receive it, and it is not easy for me to give it, 25. because I have given up caring about this since I came to God. Or do you want thrones and leadership - this short-term arrogance, so that tomorrow you will be cast down 30. and humbly look at the ground, while another who was your servant, and even, perhaps, one of the worthless servants, will raise his head up? Would you like to tie yourself in marriage, 35. indulge in unchaste and short-lived delights? Don't you want this sweet illness - caring for well-being? But if I call your goodness 40. evil, what do you say then? Don't you want to thunder with your words and gather spectators around you? Or do you have a desire to trade laws, interpret them contrary to justice, 45. drag others in and be dragged into lawless courts? Or do you want to shake your spear, breathe the love of war, seek a crown for your exploits, 50. test your courage in the fight against beasts? Or would it be desirable for you to earn applause in the city and a statue made of copper? Do you want to catch the shadow of dreams, a fleeting breeze, 55. the sound of an arrow that leaves no trace behind, the sound of a splashing hand? For an intelligent person, is it important what exists now and what will not exist tomorrow, 60. what the wicked also use, what does not accompany those departing from this life? So what? If this is not what you want, then what do you want? 65. Don’t you want to become a god—a god, that is, stand luminously before the Most High God and rejoice with the Angels? Expand your wings, 70. soar in high-speed soaring, rush to the heights; I will clear your wings, I will give you such a teaching that will lift you up, 75. I will lift you into the ether like a light-winged bird. Say it too, you worthless, stinking flesh! Since I, the mistress, am associated with you, the digester, then say: 80. what do you want for yourself in order to hold your breath? I owe you little, although you try to force a lot from me. Do you want to have a table 85. fragrant with aromas and excessive cookery tricks, to hear the delightful sounds of musical instruments and applause, to see the dancing of young boys, 90. not characteristic of men, and the whirling of maidens, unseemly naked, since all this is established at feasts by amateurs of the studio, 95. in order to heat up the wine even more, obscuring the mind? If this is what you want from me, you will sooner receive a noose. 100. I offer the following to insatiable friends! Let some shelter hide you, either formed by itself in a stone mountain, or, if you need to work hard, in a matter of a few hours. 105. Let your clothing be either camel hair, according to the rule of the righteous, or even skin - the cover of ancient nakedness. For the bed, take what happened; 110. And let your grass and tree branches be like a purple tablecloth, not dangerous to your fellow guests. And let a pleasantly fragrant meal be offered to you without further preparation from those unsophisticated gifts 115. which the friendly land lavishes on everyone. And having arranged your room, we will feed you willingly. Are you hungry? 120. Take bread for yourself, if it happens, even wheat. And for jam, we give you salt and wild onions without measure - not a purchased vegetable; let hunger be the next best seasoning. 125. Are you thirsty? Water flows before you - an always overflowing cup, a drink that does not produce intoxication, a pleasure borrowed not from the vine. And if you want to indulge in luxury, 130. then we will not spare the vinegar. But even this will not be enough for you. You tirelessly and insatiably want to draw pleasure from a leaky barrel. 135. Look for another guardian for yourself, but I don’t have the leisure time to cherish my domestic enemy, who would bite me like a snake ossified by the cold and then warmed up in my bowels. 140. You want huge houses, gilded ceilings, skillful works of painting and mosaics, almost living images, 145. walls glittering with different and skillfully chosen colors? Do you want luxurious clothes that you can’t even touch, do you want rich rings and this decoration, 150. funny for those who study chastity, and even more funny for me, who know [only] inner beauty? 155. So I say to you, mortals, who are groveling, looking for something fleeting and not paying attention to anything else! And to those who live nobly and worthy of this share, 160. which is in me from God and merged with my mortal stoutness (note the majesty of the beggar), I will offer this food: “God-wise! Pass by 165. the flaming sword, be the worker of divine plants, blooming with reason, which the enemy deprived me of, having caught me with voluptuousness. 170. Come again to the tree of everlasting life, and it, as I found, is the knowledge of the Most High God, the one Tri-shiny Light, 175. to which everything strives.” This is what everyone will say to himself if he is wise. And whoever does not want to say has spent his life in vain. 180. And oh, if only it were in vain, and not in the greatest evil! There was, there was [a time] once when I bloomed, but now I am without greenery; neither before was he exalted, nor now is he calmed down. To bloom is one thing, to fade is another, but I am not different. For doctors I am profit. 5. Above You, Christ, there is nothing, from Whom are all things, and the power of medicine. Here is the bathhouse, and I also have a bathhouse. But Angel (see: John 5:4) where is mine? Come and warm the water. If not, then You Yourself, the Savior, come and I will rise. 10. I am amazed, but the thorn in me is a reason for the fear of God. And I know that I suffer for the good. But drive away the disease. If this does not please You, then let me bear it courageously. I'm at a loss, what should I do? The judge, although righteous, is also meek. 15. Where are Your tender mercies? Or are we forgotten by You? Throw away, throw away Satan from me, crushing him! You gave me over to the evil one, but for what reason? Do we not hope to trample upon the scorpions? What is it, Christ? I am ashamed of the evil 20. and the good, having no peace from evil. Some laugh, others lose hope. Every day I die and leave life behind. If this is fair as to the evil one towards me, then where is the mercy? If it is not fair, then where is the legal court? 25. I set a goal for everything and strive for it. Someday our envy will pass, it will pass someday. Calmed down by time, illness, evil from friends. But what do you want? - So that I can come to You. Give me your hand. I died, I died from misfortunes. I died for you. 30. For You are my God. Free me from the darkness of my evils, dead and rarely breathing, or from a woeful life. But why am I crushed by the weight of suffering from the evil ones, because of envy, scolding and laughter for many? For others it’s a brilliant life, but for me it’s deprivation. 35. You call, you call me. I'm in a hurry. But I am afraid of fire, the abyss and abundance of heat. What kind of Abraham will give me [deliverance] by transferring [his own] into his bosom (see: Luke 16:23)? I have experienced a lot in my life, but I still hope. If you free me immediately, it will be bearable. 40. If you don’t free me, then alas, my life, alas, my outcome! Why are you holding me a prisoner of freedom? Christ is calling me. I lie defeated. But I also need cleansing. 90. To your own and your parents’ death First Caesarea - general sorrow, and then Gorgonia, then the dear parent, and much later the mother - oh mournful hand, oh bitter letters of Gregory! Finally, I will write about my death. 91. Ha the common tomb of your family I, one stone, cover two famous Gregori, parent and son; I, one stone, cover two equal luminaries, two priests. And this stone enclosed the noble Nonna with her great son Caesarius. 5. So they divided among themselves both the sons and the coffins. But everyone had one path - to what was above, everyone had one love - to heavenly life. 92. Epitaph for yourself and a brief retelling of your own life My King Christ, why have You entangled me with these nets of flesh? Why did he bring me into this adversarial life? I came from a father who had godlike perfections, and I saw the light through the prayers of my mother, who was no small before God. 5. She prayed and dedicated me to God from infancy; A night vision poured into me an ardent love for virgin life. Thus Christ was pleased with me; and subsequently I was overwhelmed by boiling waves, became a prey to predatory hands, was exhausted in body, met unfriendly shepherds, 10. experienced the incredible, consumed by disasters, became orphaned, without children. This is the life of Grigoriev! And what happens after, Christ the Giver of Life will take care of. Write this on the stones. Firstly, God gave me to a praying bright mother; secondly, he accepted it from his mother as a gift pleasing to Him; thirdly, he saved me when I was dying with the Most Pure Table; fourthly, the Word gave me a double-edged word; 5. fifthly, virginity greeted me in friendly dreams; sixthly, I made unanimous sacrifices with Vasily; seventh, the Giver of Life snatched me from the depths of the abyss; eighth, He cleansed my hands with diseases; ninthly, to the youngest Rome 116 I returned, O King, the Trinity; 10. tenth, was struck by stones or friends. My Hellas, and my dear youth, and everything that I have acquired, and my very flesh, how willingly you yielded to Christ! And if both my mother’s prayer and my father’s hand made me a priest pleasing to God, then what is there to envy? 5. You, blessed Christ, accept me into Your presence and grant glory to your servant, Gregory’s son, Gregory! I bore the name of a wonderful parent, I shared the throne with him, and I share the coffin with him. Remember, friend, about Gregory, about that Gregory whom Christ gave to his mother as a gift and into whom through night visions He poured the love of wisdom. Here lies the dear son of Gregory and Nonna, the servant of the Holy Trinity, Gregory, who grasped wisdom with wisdom and in his youth still had only one wealth - heavenly hope. You lived a little longer on earth, but you voluntarily offered everything as a gift to Christ, and along with everything else, the winged word. Now, as a great priest, heaven has accepted you into the heavenly faces, glorious Gregory. From infancy God called me with night visions, and I reached the limits of wisdom and purified my flesh and heart with a word, fled naked from the flames of this world, for my father Gregory I became the second Aaron after him. Shining angels, without number, standing around the Three-Light Divinity, encircling a single radiance, [me] - Accept Gregory, unworthy, but still a priest. Istniti (ts. - sl.) - to erase, crush into dust, corrode. – Ed. Izvitie (c. – s.) – here: sophistication. – Ed. Prinikati (c. - se.) - to look with a crystal, to peer bending down (Ps. 13:2; Luke 24:12). – Ed. In Mediterranean latitudes, the constellation Taurus rises in November. – Ed. Greek expression δο᾿ χμια βαίνω – (literally “I’m walking obliquely, across”) pre-Rev. The translator roared like “I’m going through bends.” – Ed. Bill's 17th poem begins here under the title: “Oaths” or “Vows of Oath.” However, Billius himself, in his interpretation, notes that this poem in the manuscript is connected to the previous one. In TSO, poem No. 2 is attached as part of the work “Word 12, beatitudes and definitions of spiritual life” in the cycle “Mysterious Chants”. – Ed. In TSO, this poem is attached to “Prayers of one who goes on a journey”, node No. 4. - Ed. Poems No. 5 and 6 have been translated into Russian for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1022–1024. – Ed. Poems No. 8 and 9 have been translated into Russian for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1025–1026. – Ed. The bishop's chair in the church. – Ed. A lattice often separated a place for the bishop and his concelebrants in the church. – Ed. In the month of November, when the sun sets, the constellation Taurus rises. Teachings of Apollinaris. – Ed. Obviously, we are talking about errors in the Christology of the theologians of the Antiochian school of the 4th century, which subsequently led to the development of the heresy of Nestorianism, condemned at the Third Ecumenical Council. – Ed. Το᾿ σύνθετον, lit. “complex”, “composite”, that is, Jesus Christ, in Whom Divinity and humanity are united. It must be thought that Paul and Anollos mean here Meletius and Peacock. Archbishop of Alexandria. According to legend, Socrates, turning to the Pythia in the oracle in the church at Delphi with the question of who was wiser than everyone else, received the answer that Socrates. St. Gregory in this statement ironically replaces the name of Socrates with Maximus. – Ed. We are talking about modern St. Gregory heretics: Epicureans, pagans, astrologers, Jews, Judeo-Christians, Gnostics, Manichaeans, Montanists, Novatians, Arians, Doukhobors, Anollinists and others. – Ed. Gnus is a sea fish, an electric stingray. – Ed. Emperor Theodosius the Great, who replaced the Arian Emperor Valens on the throne who died in 378. – Ed. Μέλιτος γα᾿ ρ και τρόπος και τούνομα . This play on words denotes the name of the Archbishop of Antioch, Meletius. Schism refers to the division in the Church that occurred because there were two bishops in Antioch at the same time - Meletius and Paulinus. Western bishops who installed Paulinus as bishop of Antioch. The Church of Christ began in the East. This poem was not included in the TSO edition of 1843–1848. The text translated by priest Alexy Yastrebov is published according to: St. Gregory the Theologian. About myself and the bishops // Church and time / Department for External Church Relations. 2003. No. 1 (22). pp. 113–172. – Ed. Wed: 1 Cor. 3:13. – Here and further in poem No. 12: translator’s notes. – Ed. St. Gregory alludes to an incident that took place at the very beginning of his ministry in Constantinople (see: Letter 95 present edition, p. 473): on Easter night of 379, while he was performing the sacrament of Baptism, the Arians threw stones at him. This episode had such a strong impression on him that he recalled it several times in his writings. St. is implied. Basil the Great. He died on January 1, 379, that is, even before Theodosius the Great came to power. However, it can be assumed that even before his death he asked his friend to accept a possible offer to replace the capital’s see and thus “led” the saint away from ascetic life. A clear chronological indication: 381 years, counting from 379. That is, with a body exhausted by disease. That is, Constantinople, new and second Rome. Thrasonides is one of the characters in The Hated One, a work by Menander, the most important representative of the new Attic comedy. This refers to a person who is reckless and self-confident. Compare: Fox: the rotation of mill stones was one of the types of punishment for guilty slaves. It should be noted that Gregory uses the noun very often in the same phrase with completely different meanings. In this case, it seems better to translate as “knowledge” or “education.” That is, the world of speculative and material entities. That is, the Old and New Testaments. The strait between Euboea and the Boeotian-Attic coast - Eurinus changed its current seven times a day. According to Aristotle, the sea eagle defines the degenerate in this way: it forces the chicks to look at the sun and kills the chick whose eyes begin to water first. "Daniel" translated from Hebrew means "My God is the Judge." Words indicating the power of repentance. Repentance is a cleansing that involves much more work than the sacrament of Baptism. The degrees of repentance practiced in the ancient Church were proposed by St. Basil the Great and are described mainly in his three canonical epistles. This refers to the laying on of hands of bishops during episcopal consecration. We are talking about the proclamation of the chosen one to the episcopal see. An error by the author, who very possibly quoted from memory. We are talking about a passage from the book of the prophet Haggai (2:11–12). Mysia and Phrygia are two ancient regions of Asia Minor that bordered each other. The waters of Marah were bitter (Ex. 15:23). The Pool of Siloam in Jerusalem, where Jesus sent the man born blind to be washed, and he returned healed (John 9:7). In fact, these words should not refer to the Siloam font, but to another font - Bethesda (cf. John 5:2). This once again confirms the assumption that St. Gregory, while working on this work, quoted Holy Scripture from memory. We are talking about an episode from the 2nd book of Samuel, where the prophet Nathan reproaches David for Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite (2 Samuel 12:1–4). Father of Leah and Rachel, father-in-law of Jacob (Gen. 29ff.). Compare: Homer. Iliad VI, 484. We are talking about one of Aesop's fables. Pagan god on the island of Pharos (Egypt). Known for his ability to take on different identities, thus eluding those who wanted to force him to reveal the future. A soothsayer and physician, he had the ability to understand the language of animals. He asked for a third of the kingdom for healing the inhabitants of the Argos peninsula from madness, but, having received consent, he increased the price - he demanded half the kingdom. – Ed. Callimachus - Athenian chaser and sculptor of the late 5th century BC. Kalais - here, apparently, there is an error by the author or his source. There were, in fact, two Greek sculptors named Kalamis (Kalamis), but there was none named Kalais. Πολύτροπος - “resourceful”, “dexterous”, “cunning” - an epithet of Homer’s Odysseus. That is, it governs a diocese, which has as its center a major city. Leunclavius ​​reads: εθνος άριστον, and Billius: εθνος α᾿ πιστον - “infidel people.” The acrostic poem consists of the first two verses in italics: Τερπεσθ᾿ οι᾿ σι φίλον πήμασιν η᾿ μετε᾿ ροις. Translation made for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1270. – Ed. The scum is here: base aspirations, vanity. – Ed. The translation was made for this edition but PG. T. 37. Col. 1280. – Ed. In TSO, this poem was attached as node No. 2 to the work “Gregory’s Lament for Himself,” but in Min’s “Patrology” it is an independent creation. – Ed. In TSO, this poem was combined with two works of the same name and placed as node No. 1, but in Min’s “Patrology” it is an independent creation. – Ed. St. Gregory understands the Apollinarians, who taught that the Son of God, at His incarnation, took upon Himself only human flesh, without a rational soul. Translation from the Greek has been made for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1299–1300. Translation from the Greek has been made for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1299–1300. Withered (ts. - s.) - the headband of the Old Testament high priest, in the Russian translation of the Bible - “kidar” (see: Ex. 28:37; Lev. 8:9). – Ed. Poems No. 35–37 have been translated for this edition according to PG. T. 37. Col. 1322–1325. – Ed. Margarit (c. – sy.) – pearls. – Ed. Sknieps (c. - se.) - midges. See: Ref. 8:16. – Ed. Leunclavius ​​reads βι᾿ βλους - “books”, and not βι᾿ ους - “lives”, as in Billius. To the legion of unclean spirits who were cast out by Jesus Christ into a herd of swine and thrown into the sea (see: Mark 5:2-13). Benevolent (c. - s.) - safe from storms, protected. – Ed. Bodets – stake, thorn; a pointed stick used to urge horses. – Ed. Posmevati (ts. - s.) - to mock, to make fun of. – Ed. The poem and notes have been translated for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1409–1417. – Ed. This poem was written by St. Gregory in Arianza after 383, when at the end of his life, having retired from business, he devoted the rest of his days to thinking about God and contemplation. Here he denounces his envious people, who accused him of refusing to govern the Church of Nazianza [for the sake of governing the Church of Constantinople]. In the Florentine Codex, “they did not speak fairly as they wanted.” Translation option: “When I allowed myself to be defeated in order to occupy the great thrones” - of course, Gregory’s enemies and envious people spoke of his pride, that he supposedly for his dignity despised a church lower than that of Constantinople, because having allowed himself to take care of it, he really, as they said, did not want to be the high priest (bishop) of Nazianzus. Koisel gives another version: “He was expelled by them, not entirely against his own will.” We are also talking about the unrest inspired by the Arians and Anollinists, as well as the general bad manners of the people. Perhaps we are not talking about death itself, but about an attack of serious illness. Here he means Nektarios, who was not as kind to the church people as Gregory when he ruled the Church. That is, “I don’t think anything like that,” as Tolly believes. Or “more than God needed.” It means: “about Christ!” Pagan god. He had the ability to take on any form, even animals and plants. – Ed. The fragment of the TSO translation highlighted in brackets is not in the text of this work by Min, but is a fragment of another poetic work - “For Your Removal” (Book II, Section I, see stanzas 10–20). – Ed. Translation made for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1442–1445. – Ed. That is, the “new”, second Rome - Constantinople. – Ed. Translation made for this PG edition. T. 37. Col. 1451–1452. – Ed.