A conversation about how an ascetic should not indulge in playfulness

The exhortations of Blessed Paul, commanding us to work out our salvation with fear, are all holy (Phil. 2:12). A person who performs the feat of virtue not with fear or with great care experiences many deviations into evil and, as if straying from the straight and royal path, ends up on crooked and impassable roads because of thorns and thorns, which is why incessant prayers to God are guides to good for those who say: “guide me to Thy truth,” and: “establish my steps on the paths.” Yours" (Ps. 24:5, 16:5). Good, of course, kindness, and love is the most important of goods; but they are followed by strong gaiety and laughter beyond measure, as well as humiliating playfulness. It is truly terrible to find pleasure in playfulness. Laughter makes the bonds of chastity weak, laughter repels, laughter does not remember the fear of God, laughter is not afraid of the threat of Gehenna, laughter is a guide to fornication, playfulness is the exposure of an unbridled person, laughter causes us to fall into carelessness, laughter is a reason for contempt. Therefore, the blessed Apostle forbids, saying: “vain talk and ridicule are not proper,” let them not proceed from your lips, “but, on the contrary, thanksgiving” (Eph. 5:4), saying this so that you do not use joy as a reason for carelessness, but as a basis for gratitude to the Giver of it. Therefore Job testifies, speaking of himself: “Have I walked with mockers?” ( Job 31:5 ). Solomon also reproaches the humorous mood: “Complaining is better than laughter; because with a sad face the heart becomes better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, and the heart of fools is in the house of joy. It is better to listen to the reproof of a wise man than to listen to the songs of fools” (Eccl. 7:4-5). Exposing the indecency and dishonesty of those who are devoted to laughter, he says: “The laughter of fools is like the crackling of thorn brush under a pot” (Eccl. 7:6). Why should one be very cheerful and joyful? Strive in wisdom quietly, with dignity, and with fear and care that God sees you, remove excessive gaiety. Those who find pleasure in immoderate joys and amusements, it seems, do not know what concerns themselves, burdening their souls with some forgetfulness and not even expecting the coming of the Lord. You, man, have not yet achieved the favor of the Lord, you have not yet achieved reliable deliverance from evils; You don’t know what will happen a little later than you yourself, what will happen to you, and then you laugh madly and allow yourself to be playful, and behave fearlessly, while you should be diligently engaged in prayers to God, worry about the future and tremble for yourself, so as not to ever stray from the path of virtue, worry and fear what will happen, so that something very difficult and beyond your strength befalls you? When you are surrounded by such great wars, let your soul consider itself in danger: demons are invisibly at enmity, people are clearly at enmity, internal spiritual passions are at enmity, excited by the body, pleasures and unhappiness, surrounding the body from the outside. You do not grieve with your loved ones, you do not faint with the weak, you do not cry with those who weep, you do not fear for those who are not firmly established in the faith, lest they retreat and fall; you do not mourn the fallen, you do not stretch out your hands to those who are lying down, you do not restrain with internal groans the one who laughs, forgetting about the punishment prepared for him; thinking about time, which - in short, does not put an end to your inappropriate intemperance, nor does the coming of a future terrible day; but you imitate those who drink wine to the sounds of the zither and psalter, to whom instead of joy the prophet threatened with grief. I, says the Lord, have proclaimed weeping and mourning, and the cutting of the head, and the girding of sackcloth; and they prepared for themselves joy and joy, saying: “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we will die!” And the Lord of hosts opened it in my ears: This wickedness will not be forgiven you until you die” (Is. 22:13-14). Hearing this, fear and groan; do not imitate those who ate and drank and, getting up, amused themselves and in whom, - I will say something more bitter, - sacrifices and food and entertainment produced oblivion of the fear of God and attracted them to idolatry. Be afraid that the Lord will not be angry with you for your laughter - the Lord, who called those who weep blessed and those who laugh miserable (Luke 6:21, 6:25), be afraid that the devil, noticing your gaiety and loud laughter, lack of fear of God and forgetfulness of what is useful, does not enter your soul and sow his tares. There were times in which peace of mind was more appropriate, but, nevertheless. and then among the saints, sadness took precedence over excessive joy; and the psalmist says: “I go around mourning all day long,” and: “every night I wash my bed, I wet my bed with my tears” (Ps. 37:7, 6:7); being sad because of his sins and grieving over his misfortunes, also mourning the misfortunes of Jerusalem, the prophet Jeremiah sits. And you, therefore, do not indulge in gaiety and playfulness, aggravated by headaches and drunkenness; for for this reason the zither was taken away from you and you do not have a tympanum in your hands; and Paul, who in every possible way restrains a person from any relaxation and distraction, taught to sing more with the heart than with the lips (1 Cor. 14:15). Father Isaac played with his wife (Gen. 26:8); but you are obliged to behave even with your wife more seriously, because “the time is already short, so those who have wives should be as if they have not; ...and those who rejoice, as if they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as if they did not acquire; and those who use this world, as if they do not use it; for the image of this world is passing away” (1 Cor. 7:29–31). You do not want to embarrass yourself, although all matters are in a state of embarrassment, but even in front of women you indifferently shed tears and multiply fun, and offer what makes you laugh, and, pouring out shameful speeches, indulge in loud laughter; Unable to bear the inflammation occurring in your unbridled body, you finally take this impurity outside and reveal yourself as you are; as you are in words, so will you be in general and much worse in your inner man. Why do you fearlessly communicate with women? Why do you throw yourself into the net? Why are you putting yourself in danger? Why do you treat women cheerfully and dare to spend your life with them? For this reason there are fasts, for this there are prayers, for this there is a harsh lifestyle; That’s why people come up with various feats, and that’s why they hastily rush into the desert; some are not satisfied with either bread or water, or for any other reason, other than to avoid those temptations, so that when meeting women, a shameful sin does not happen to them. But you, having ignored all this and not thought about the danger from that snare, because of which the first man lost such great bliss, do you not think about the weapon of the devil with which that wounded forefather was cast down? The Lord forbade even looking at the woman when He described adultery; You have gone so mad that, having added fictitious names to the name of love, under the pretext of good-heartedness, you have attracted a cohabitant to yourself, like Eve - a serpent. Having tied a fire in your bosom and put a lamp in the hay, you will be in danger as a result of both: either you will be in danger in relation to chastity, falling into the very depths of the abyss, or, if you do not experience this, you will gain shameful glory for yourself, while you are commanded to care about the beautiful “not only before God, but also before men” (2 Cor. 8:21). Therefore, having the church admonition, you must guard everything that is honorable (Phil. 4:8); and not only this, but also that which is admirable. Measure kindness by honesty; apply admonishing fear. Why are you desecrating the beautiful name of Christianity? Why do you trap the souls of others in a net by attracting a partner? After all, you will not only give an account in defense of your soul, but also for those who were offended because of you. Throw the snake out of your bosom, throw the danger away from you. If you really want women to serve you, then why didn’t you preserve the ancient law and join in legal marriage? Marriage is not subject to punishment, but adultery is inevitable; after all, cohabitation with women is adultery and even great adultery. Examine your conscience, whether you have ever suffered harm, whether you have received a blow, either at night or during the day. I will open your heart, although you will become annoyed. But this does not bother me, since I grieve greatly every time I see that an ascetic accepts a woman brought to him; I tell you that you receive wounds every hour and every hour you become the prey of wild animals, you weaken the bonds of chastity, you, a noble warrior, weaken in strength, instead of a winner you show yourself as a captive. You're not a stone, are you? You are a person subject to the general properties of nature. Do you have a fire in your bosom and are not burning? But is this fundamental? Put a lamp in the hay and then see if you can tell me that the hay does not burn. If you deny that the hay burns, then speak not to me, but to the One who knows secrets, who comes to gather thoughts - He is able to judge thoughts and thoughts and understands the intentions of hearts, because he says: “everyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). See to it that adultery is not noticed in you at any time. You, of course, will say: I protect myself with fasts and deeds, and a harsh way of life, so as not to lose what is expected. So, your feat does not take place for the sake of anything else, but only for the sake of your partner; You no longer collect the truth in a treasury, because that cohabitant secretly stole the power from your feat. Therefore, remove from yourself the one who deprives you of many benefits, do not deprive yourself of paradise, do not make yourself a plaything for the devil; do not place her near you, lest, having overthrown you, she fall with you into Gehenna. Fear the terrible Judge; make a covenant with yourself and don’t even look at the woman; be ashamed of the gray hair of the elders who are present here and, being ashamed of them as fathers, refrain from idle talk and playfulness and laughter. Do not joke with the youngest and do not show the path of frivolity, walking along it yourself in front and arbitrariness is a much greater contempt; Be so afraid of women that you don’t even look her in the eye. Let your life be a model for them; show yourself in such a way that women will be ashamed of you and so that you become an example and the beginning of shame for them, since a husband is more capable of showing the way than a woman, and do not add his frivolity to the even more frivolous nature of women. Let the woman be especially ashamed, because the shamelessness of a woman is a more serious shame. If speaking freely with husbands is something very terrible and reckless, since a woman is commanded to feel fear of her husband rather than speak freely with him - “a wife,” says (Scripture), “let her fear her husband” (Eph. 5:33), - therefore, if such a law is determined for a woman who has a husband, then what remains for you, who do not have a husband? This is what is proper for you: not to approach your husband at all, if possible, and Under no circumstances should your husband look at your face. You are the bride of Christ, so go forward like an adorned bride, covering your face with a veil, so as not to hurt anyone with your appearance and not receive punishment for his death. And we say this according to the unspeakable teachings of the Scriptures; Many women, not having accepted the fear of God into their minds, not being afraid of the fact that they could easily fall, not foreseeing the punishment determined for them, were indifferent to this and, by their own will, came to the decision to serve their husbands, but not in the sense of the order given to a married woman who has a husband. You don’t observe this rule either, because you treat your husbands not with fear, but with great freedom and contempt, and you eat together, and you drink together, and you talk with them, and you laugh uncontrollably together; and after all this you want to be called a virgin, but I will no longer call you a virgin, who rushed like that and did not even fear danger. I dare to use the prophetic saying: “Marvel at this, O heavens,” and let the creation be afraid (Jer. 2:12), to what shamelessness we have reached and to the harlots who are in indecent houses! Just as those who are collected by comedians become very shameless in relation to indecent acts, so do these who desire to live with their husbands. God is indignant, people defame, and those women, imitating the unrighteous judge, neither fear God nor are ashamed of man; but despite all this, they speak with much more freedom than even those who honestly live with their husbands in marriage. They manage the affairs of those with whom they live too proudly, and are very disturbing, and cruelly offend, and want to dominate all the property of such a person; and if sometimes he wants to extend his hand for a good deed, then she interferes and, finally, becomes no longer a servant, but a mistress. So, leave me alone, virgin, from indecent cohabitation, and not only from cohabitation, I say, but beware of even talking with your husbands or laughing with them. If a prudent husband is only allowed to smile quietly, then a wise woman is hardly advised even this. After all, smiling at a woman who devotes herself to the worship of God is something difficult and fraught with danger, because it is much better for a woman who is seen to live sedately than cheerfully and joyfully. And indeed, the writer of the mysterious Song, transferring praise from the woman to the spiritual bride, is surprised at her silence and praises the venerability of her appearance, calling her formidable (Song. 6: 4), since what is very venerable can even be a fear-inducing circumstance for the audience. It is necessary that her respectability should be terrible for prying eyes and be able to deviate from inquisitive shamelessness. For this reason, gold decoration and braiding of hair and precious clothing were taken away from her, so that she would not shine with the decorations lying on her and would not please the eyes of the spectators, and would not provoke temptation. For this reason - fasting and abstinence, and deeds; and, in view of her nature’s tendency to fall, the maiden should have a pale and sad appearance and very simple clothes. Therefore, Paul, sending a message to his sincere child Timothy, protects his kindness when honoring women with the protection of chastity, saying: honor very young widows “as sisters, with all purity” (1 Tim. 5:2). If the divine Scripture deprives women of bodily adornment, then how much more should a husband be completely unadorned and dress only in necessary clothing, so that it is a covering and not an adornment, just as Paul called it: “having food and clothing, we will be content with these” (1 Tim. 6:8). Clothes prepared for decoration should rather be considered women's than men's, since the law says: “a man must not dress in a woman’s dress” (Deut. 22:5). Therefore, let the husband not become pampered, since it is not very proper even for the female sex to behave pamperingly before God. John wore clothes made of camel's hair and a leather belt around his loins; and before him Elijah, whose spirit John carried, and he was clothed only in a mantle. It is natural for a lazy and careless soul to be amazed at a multi-colored robe, made with subtle art; the nobly thinking soul, feeling truly true adornment, abhors all delicate clothing, strongly desiring something more majestic than this, more unsophisticated, more decent, more respectable, preferring chastity to everything. Therefore, be content with the memory of those words that were spoken, but be careful not to take the dignity, which for both the listener and those approaching is sweeter than honey and honeycomb, beyond the limits of moderation, turning it, as it were, into bitter severity. After all, spiritual joy honestly and decently brings the soul into unity with God, and also fills with sweetness those who are in relations with such a person. But, regarding my words, since you are forbidden to spend a lot of time in fun, do not begin to behave gloomily and sternly in relation to the visiting brothers, and instead of being helpful and affectionate, do not be cruel and inaccessible and inhuman, and in dealing with the visiting brothers, do not be gloomy and unsociable when answering and talking. To rejoice at all times (1 Thess. 5:16) is an apostolic command, as well as the following: “encourage one another” (1 Thess. 5:11), and “be kind to one another” (Eph. 4:32): “love..., says the apostle, is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4); apostolic greetings are also found in their epistles, where the listeners are welcomed as children, those who listen are admonished as brothers. And of this holy kindness, which springs from love, much can be learned from the holy Scriptures. One should neither reach the point of immoderate gaiety, nor defile God-like kindness with ridicule, but one should stand in the midst of perfect gaiety and neither sadden those entering into relations, nor weaken and make them careless, nor reproach heavily, nor flatter slyly, but usefully turn them to the true path, and kindly admonish. He who avoids, says (Scripture), uttering a cruel word, is wise (Prov. 10:19); “Pleasant speech is like honey, sweet to the soul and healing”, “some idle talker cuts like a sword, but the tongue of the wise heals” (Prov. 16:24, 12:18). It is also excellent to practice divine songs in moderation; such joyfulness sanctifies the soul, according to the apostle: “Be filled,” he says, “with the spirit, ... singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord” (Eph. 5:18–19). Therefore, it is excellent to pursue this kind of joy with diligence and, due to some severity and rigidity of character, not to be lazy towards the divine song, as if we did not consider it worthy to lift up the voice to sing the praises of God. It is necessary that we should be cheerfully disposed towards such a divine task and to this holy conversation, but not be carried away by sweetness, not passionately enjoy divine songs, not be delighted with gentle and soft sounds, not look around - here and there in order to be praised, but rejoice in God and try to please Him alone, and especially so that joyfulness is combined with honesty, so that fear of God brought us honesty, and divine singing led to joy and produced in us a semblance of eternal joy, among which people who acted well here will spend their future life before the Lord, to whom be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. This conversation, classified in Min's edition as Spuria, is included in volume 1 of this edition. Since it was not published in volume 1 of our publication, we place it at the end of volume 2. You might be interested in: