Letters to monastics. Section 2. Letters to nuns. [Part 2]

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You will clearly prove your love for me when I find out that my letters will calm you down not just a little, but exactly as much as I want (From the letters of St. John Chrysostom to Olympias the deaconess, Letter II p. 73.) I have one grief: I don’t know if you’re healthy (letter of the same to the same. Letter XI p. 200.) When I was in your monastery, you asked me to give you instructions: what prayer rule should you follow? Due to the shortness of time, I could not possibly satisfy your request, but promised to present you in writing about this important subject, not from my own mind or work - I cannot boast of anything, for I am ending my days in laziness and negligence, but from the teaching and reasoning of the holy and wise fathers, who passed through an active life, guiding them to vision and spiritual gifts, and thus received salvation. And I, lazy and careless, should, paying attention to myself, take care of my lack of correction; but, seeing your sincere desire and concern for the salvation of your soul: as well as for my teaching and reminder to my sad soul, I composed this outline; and in hope, like those about whom St. writes. John Climacus: “who, having sunk themselves in the mud, warn others passing along the way so that they do not fall into the same muddy mud; then the Neglis, for their sake, will receive salvation.” The mentors and teachers of monastic life, the godly fathers, who themselves went through various paths of life, left their teaching to us, so that as much as possible, according to our strength, and according to the possibility of our location and community, following it, we would receive eternal salvation: which many have received, with the help of God and their prayers. The first foundation they offered was faith, hope and love, through which those seeking salvation, inflamed with zeal for God, and wanting to bring themselves closer to Him, abandoned the world, and even in the world: acquisitions, glory and pleasure, which could distract us from the love of God and enrage the passions hidden in us and warring on our souls. Then, having moved into the monastery with those who were passing through this residence, they rejected their will and mind, that is, they had obedience both in spirit and in body, according to the teaching of our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ: “If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and come after Me” (Matthew 16:24). Denying oneself and taking up the cross consists even more in denying one’s will and mind and through this enduring sorrow, forcing oneself to fulfill all the commandments of God. Sorrow must inevitably come from our inner passions, and even more from pride, which cannot be overcome by anything other than obedience; what is St. John Climacus in the 4th degree writes: “St. the fathers consider psalmody against demons as a weapon, prayer as a wall, immaculate tears as a bath; and blessed obedience was called such a virtue, without which none of those entangled in passions will see the Lord.” Further: “blessed is he who completely mortified his will, and entrusted all the care of himself to his mentor in God; - at the right hand of the Crucified One he will become.” Also: “from obedience comes humility, from humility comes reasoning, from reasoning comes consideration, and from this comes insight.” All this is very difficult to accomplish without the above foundation: faith, hope and love; and with them it is very convenient and easy to follow all the commandments of God, for the yoke of the Lord is easy, and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30), and many have fulfilled this path, with the help of God and with good will. Our Holy Mother the Church, desiring to nourish her children with spiritual food, set times appropriate for the praise of God and teaching in His word; namely: Midnight Office, Matins, hours 1, 3, 6 and 9, Vespers and Compline; all this is very necessary and useful for all Orthodox Christians, and even more so for us, who have excommunicated ourselves to serve God and have despised the world and its pride. Our God-bearing fathers, fulfilling these legalized church rules, also established cell rules, against the strength and ability and will of everyone, and passed: others a lot, not giving themselves rest either day or night, practicing psalmody and prayers, and kneeling, tiring their flesh with fasting and labor; others less; others even less, depending on their strength, and at the discretion of their mentors; for in this too they were afraid to be guided by their mind and will in order to avoid both extremes: both poverty and increase, causing harm to ascetics, but they followed the middle royal path. And all these paths were traversed by them with much humility, not thinking within themselves that they were doing good, but thereby seeking help from God to conquer the passions fighting against them; and the more they were cleansed from passions by doing the commandments, the more they cleansed the image of God, darkened by passions, inflamed into the love of God; but, unable to reach its height, they descended into the deepest humility; and the Lord rewarded them with His spiritual gifts. But to seek or desire spiritual rewards for deeds is sinful; it is the will of God when and to whom to reward with what. St. Ladder writes in the 26th degree: “some, but to the ineffable vision of God, sacred, for their labors, receive rewards even before the accomplishment of their exploits, others during their very completion, others after completion, and others at their very death. We need to investigate: which of them is more humble than the other?” It is obvious that the humble are more likely to be rewarded with spiritual gifts, for they are not exalted by them. St. Peter of Damascus, in his first book, enumerates seven bodily works: silence, moderate fasting, moderate vigil, singing the altar, spiritual prayer, reading the words and lives of the fathers, and asking the skilled about every word and undertaking - which a silent person should undergo. In conclusion he says: “for these seven bodily acts, it is proper to have patience in all those who happen to us, even if God allows us to gain knowledge and experience and the removal of our weakness.” Next he reveals the fruit of this work: “and then the mind begins to see its sins like the sand of the sea, and this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul, and a sign of its health; and, in short, the soul is contrite and the heart is humble, and least of all, it truly counts itself.” 1 And again, in the 2nd book, in chapter 9, presenting an example of sterility from work, he writes: “As I was once sitting with the Abba - named - a certain virgin came and said to the elder: “Abba, I spend six days of six weeks in fasting, I study the Old and New Testaments every day.” - the old man answers her: “Was your poverty like abundance?” - She said: “no!” - “Dishonor, like praise?” Speech: “no, Abba.” “Devil, like friends.” And the speech: “neither.” The wise old man said to her: “Go, do it: it’s nothing for imashi.” And truly: even if you have fasted as much as eating once a week, and this is very little from food, should it not have scarcity as if it were abundance? And you studied the Old and New Testaments every day - and didn’t you get into the habit of humble yourself? And having nothing in life, shouldn’t she have had everyone else? And because of so much work I could not recognize enemies as friends.” 2 Another inspired man in his instruction, counting many saints who went through various cruel labors and great feats, having touched them with divine fire, adds that they did not at all consider themselves to be doing anything good. On the contrary, “some are unreasonable and servile, not exactly having in themselves a single feeling from those feelings, moreover the development of talents, but knowing less when such, jealous of fasting, and the works of saints, not with good reason and proposal, imputing this, as virtue passes; the devil crouches like a dog in a hunt, plunging into their belly (that is, into their mind) the seed of a joyful opinion; Having become unworthy, the inner Pharisee is brought up; as it increases day by day, it betrays such people to complete pride; For her sake, regions of Satan are allowed from God.” 3 And St. John Chrysostom teaches: “as nothing so convenient encourages pride, but a conscience that is aware of its many merits and a soul that lives in trust in them.” I presented you with these considerations before assigning a number of rules, as a precaution, so that, while going through spiritual life, you would recognize the traps, snares and machinations of the enemy; The evil enemy really opposes those who want to be saved and tries to occupy them by various means; either by arrogance and opinion of himself, or by anger towards his neighbors, whom he also incites to resistance; Having failed in one, he proceeds to another; pushes him into laziness and negligence, but the courageous warrior of Christ, armed with humility, patience and resort to God, defeats him and puts him to flight. In my opinion, for you, who have provision for everyday needs, during the church service of your monastery, and the rule that occurs after Compline, it is possible to correct the cell rule: one kathisma, the rosary five hundredth rule, two chapters from the Apostle, and one chapter from the Gospel. I don’t believe in canons and akathists because you have them in your church, and when you don’t happen to be at a service, you can read them too. I cannot burden you with the memorial; but when you have freedom, you can read; and if not, then replace it both in the morning and in the evening, reading the prayer: “Forgive those who hate and offend us, Lord.” This rule may seem small to you: but I believe that the Lord will accept your will if you follow the above reasoning: not fulfilling in quantity, but trying for quality; rejecting the arrogance that creeps up from the enemy, and observing in every possible way to see one’s own badness and insufficiency in fulfilling the commandments of Christ, which can only be healed by repentance and humility, according to St. Prophet David: “God will not despise a broken and humble heart” (Ps. 50:19), and again: “The Lord is near to those who are broken in heart, and will save those who are humble in spirit” (Ps. 33:19); also: “Look at the prayer of the humble, and do not despise their prayers” (Ps. 101:18). “The Lord looks down on the humble, and the message is high from afar” (Ps. 137:6). And in another place St. Scripture says: “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Ik. 4:6). St. Isaac the Syrian, writing about prayer, teaches: “whoever does not imagine himself to be a sinner, his prayer is not favorable before God” (f. 55). How great is the power and surpassing glory of humility, writes St. Callistus and Ignatius in chapter 43: “Humility and without deeds forgives many sins, but apart from this they are useless.” And little by little: “just as salt is in every food, so humility in every virtue, and the strength of many sins can be erased.” The rest of the need is to grieve unceasingly in thought, in humility and sadness in reasoning; and if we acquire it, he makes us sons of God, and without good deeds presents us to God: for without him, all our deeds and all virtues, and all our deeds are vanity.” Moreover, from the above cited patristic writings you can see what needs to be acquired by doing and what to be afraid of; - and precisely: in Peter of Damascus in the 1st book: in order to see one’s sins like the sand of the sea, which is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health. And the great elder (St. Isaac the Syrian): beware of thinking that we are doing good, through which there are very bad consequences, as shown above. And it is also written about not being like that virgin who does, but does not have the fruit of the commandments, about whom St. writes. Peter of Damascus in book 2, word 9. Everywhere you need to fulfill God’s commandments with humility, from them spiritual fruit is born: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, faith, meekness, abstinence, and so on: for the doing of the commandments is the love of God, according to His untruthful words: “He who loves Me will keep My commandments” (John 14:21) And His commandments consist of love for Him and for one’s neighbor. And if we think to fulfill only one love for Him by performing rules and prayers, and do not care about the other, related to our neighbor, then we do not fulfill that either; for they are combined with each other in a close union, one cannot be completed without the other; according to the word of St. Apostle John (1 John 4:20, 21): “If anyone says that I love God, but hates his brother, it is a lie: for if you do not love your brother, who you see, God, who you do not see, how can you love? And this commandment of the imams is from Him, that he who loves God loves his brother.” And again the Lord Himself says: “Not everyone who says to Me: Lord, Lord, will enter the Kingdom of Heaven; but do the will of My Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21). Accept this spiritual gift from my true zeal, on the day of your Angel, on which I earnestly congratulate you; and I wish that by tasting this spiritual food your spiritual larynx will be delighted, and that it will bring you spiritual health, and in the hope of receiving eternal and ineffable blessings prepared from the Lord for those who love Him and do His will. I ask you to pray about my unworthiness, so that I myself will be awakened from the sleep of negligence to good deeds. Asking for you the peace and blessing of God, I remain with my respect as an unworthy pilgrim. Most Honorable N.N. in the Lord! You write about your confusion, about the fact that you do not have pure prayer, but always feel plundered by different thoughts; - but you read that such a prayer angers God more, and that first you need to prepare yourself for prayer; but you feel that you can never prepare yourself for such prayer. What to do here, and where to look for solutions to this perplexity? The teaching of St. fathers can enlighten and confirm us in this. Prayer consists of different compositions: doxology, thanksgiving and petition. Our Mother Church has given us the means to offer them, having appointed a time, an image, and the prayers themselves, suitable for one and all, and for special occasions. Orthodox Christians, fulfilling its decrees individually and collectively, offer their prayers to the Lord, and we believe that He accepts them; and even more so when they are in the image of a publican, and not a Pharisee: although we are all imperfect and cannot dare to boast of the purity of prayer. We are spiritual warriors, and prayer is an weapon; for at the tonsure, the abbot, giving the rosary, says: “Take, brother, the sword of the Spirit, which “is the word of God,” and so on. When we become in prayer, then the enemies take up arms against us, putting in different thoughts and imagining unlike dreams, trying to tear us away from prayer or plunge us into despondency. But we must have a good will to offer prayer, and try to gather our wandering thoughts into the words of prayer; But when they invade, do not be embarrassed, but recognizing your weakness, repent before the Lord. Confusion over the invasion of thoughts shows our cowardice, which comes from pride; we want to see ourselves pure before God, following the example of the Pharisee, and not sinners like the publican; that is why purity of prayer is not given to us, because we imagine something high about ourselves: and what is high in men is an abomination before God (Luke 16:15). Thus, it is better to humble ourselves and repent in the face of our shortcomings rather than to be embarrassed; and when correcting, not to be arrogant. When you cannot pray as you should or prepare yourself for it, then is it really necessary to abandon prayer completely? On the contrary, we must force ourselves to pray, even if our hearts resist it: and the Lord, seeing our compulsion and violence to prayer, gives His help, according to St. Macarius and Peter of Damascus: give prayer to the one who prays (1 Samuel 2:9); whoever prays for good with a simple prayer, the Lord gives him the gift of mental prayer. Remember, the gift of prayer, and not my property: this gift must be earned not by prayer alone, but also by other good deeds: humility, simplicity, patience, simplicity; and without these virtues, although someone thinks he has acquired prayer, he is seduced; This is not prayer, but a mask of prayer. Writes St. John Climacus: “Always try to gather your wandering thoughts into one. God does not require that during prayer you cannot have any other thoughts at all; Do not despair, being plundered by thoughts, but be complacent, always collecting your wandering thoughts: it is characteristic of a single Angel to never be plundered by thoughts. But the enemy also sometimes introduces an untimely desire for high virtues, including prayers that are not entertained before their time.” The teaching we read about prayer should not lead you to despair, but rather to humility. The shepherd encouraged his parishioners to strive for pure prayer and so that they would not consider it great just because they stand in prayer and dream about quantity; and with quality one must humble himself, and not become arrogant; How much more so in the akin to human weakness, absent-mindedness. And so you have now seen that you should not despair, not having the gift of pure prayer, and not abandon it. You must prepare with faith and imagining the majesty of God, and your insignificance, demanding God’s help, and most of all, when you want to offer prayers, you must drive out of your heart resentment towards your neighbors. Most venerable Mother N in the Lord! You ask; What are true tears? Although this is in Climacus, but (do you think) maybe I can say it even more clearly? “What can I say more clearly than what this great man wrote, having passed the test?” Unless you remember something from his own words. He says (in v. 7); through the remembrance of the exodus we will gain tears, but in them there is no theft, that is, arrogance. Also: it is not uncommon for this divine sobbing to be mixed with an unholy tear, stemming from vanity. True contrition is when our soul groans without any pride, without seeking any consolation for itself. When we see anger and pride in those who seem to cry for God’s sake, then we should regard the tears of such as wrong—what kind of communication is there between light and darkness (2 Cor. 6:14)? Do not believe those tears that flow before you have completely cleansed yourself of all sins. It often happens that tears lift up frivolous people. Reject with the right hand of humility the joy born in your heart, supposedly being unworthy of it; Yes, without being deceived by him, you will accept a wolf instead of a shepherd. For someone who truly cries, luxury, or glory, or anger, or temper will never come to mind. It is impossible to explain in detail how every virtue, the more humble it is, the more firm and thorough it is. Therefore, consider your structure and find out: are your tears true, which should still be tears of fear, and not love; for you are still far away from it, finding yourself in passions. If you dream about yourself, as if out of love, then there is obvious charm. Therefore, I find it unnecessary to write to you about the sublime gift of tears; Having not fulfilled the first, ascending into the knowledge of the high is very harmful, and “it is fierce to betray the high one at the new night,” writes St. Isaac. Do you ask my prayers, so that the Lord will turn your soul away from everything that interferes with the pleasure of spiritual arrival? I don’t know what he’s asking for, the Lord said to his disciples, asking them to sit at His right hand and left side: “Can you drink the cup that I drink (Mark 10:38)? These words are fitting for your search for spiritual pleasures; I am attaching an extract from the book of St. Isaac the Syrian's 2nd word: about the deep work of the cross, and whoever dares to bear the second part on it, the wrath of God comes upon him, because “having abandoned the work of enduring the vexation of the cross, he dreamed in his mind the glory of the cross.” First you must endure the sorrows that occur when doing the commandments of God and with them heal the passions; and then you don’t look for comfort, but it comes by itself. In the extracts sent to you by St. Isaac the Syrian, it seems, was sufficiently explained what he wrote to those seeking consolation and revelations, and what objections he made to this; advised him to remain more in deeds of repentance, and not to seek consolation; and one godly man prefers the cross to spiritual pleasures, and says that we are not looking for God in them, but for ourselves. You are from the extracts of St. Isaac the Syrian realized that it was as if God’s love could not be desired; quite the opposite: we must strive for this with all measures, but this does not consist in enjoying consolations, but in doing the commandments of God: he who loves Me, keeps My commandments (John 14:21,23). Do you want to achieve spiritual fruits: love, joy, peace, etc.? - Keep the commandments, and you will come to this measure. And as far as we are from this, we must behave more humble, seeing our own poverty. The saints were humble, which is why they enjoyed the fruits of the spirit, according to the dispensation of each: and we strive to be jealous of them in humility, we will consider ourselves unworthy of these gifts; I wrote to you about this from 34 words of St. Isaac the Syrian said that “not everyone has the ability to preserve wealth without harm.” Writes St. John Climacus: “the deep is the mother of springs, and humility is the mother of reasoning”; and so when you take care of acquiring this latter, then you will be given the gift of reasoning: how to distinguish good from evil in all your deeds - and that feeling of thought that there is still a sacrifice for sins, if someone is contrite in heart about them; you can discern humility, which in itself is calming; for the Lord looks upon it. Moreover, from your explanation I notice that you have begun to come to the true mind and consider your sins, and reject imaginary corrections - and about this I rejoice greatly; if this had not happened, you would have been in greater danger and close to delusion. The fruits of it, instead of spiritual ones, depriving the world, would soon have been known; or maybe from blindness she wouldn’t have known - which is even worse; but when you walk humbly and do not seek consolations, but still consider yourself unworthy of them, then you will find spiritual fruits - if not soon, then immediately at the end of your life; because sometimes the Lord does not allow us to enjoy them in life, lest we become arrogant and destroy everything, but He holds them back until the appropriate time. Remember that everything that is humble is firmer and more pleasing to God. For example, one bishop, having rejected Christ, and then, out of fear, fled, was in the desert for 38 years, not accepting the message: whether he had been forgiven of his sins; but just before his death he received this news and his face lit up. And again Theodosius the stylite, who found gold in the desert, and used it, although for good, but for exaltation, was deprived of his angelic and brother’s vision; at the command of an angel, having ascended the pillar, he remained without notice for 49 years; but already in the 50th year an Angel appeared to him and from him he learned about the forgiveness of his sins. And many, enjoying spiritual consolations, dreamed of themselves, and lost all this wealth irrevocably. November 8, 1838. Your most venerable writing, sent on the 9th of July, on some occasions, was read by me already on the 25th: I think you too were bored that you did not receive the answer soon: this is not without the providence and vision of God, to which we owe ourselves, especially in the matter of our salvation, to humbly hand over; asking Him, and expecting from Him help and intercession, so that the waves trying to sink our mental ship would calm down. From your letter I see that various fickle thoughts confuse your heart, of which you cannot thoroughly dwell on any one in order to calm down; ask me for a poor-minded solution to your peace of mind. Although I feel insufficient in word, much less in deed, but while I sympathize with you, I call on the most merciful Lord, who can enlighten me, for help - to present to you from the teachings of the holy and inspired fathers, faithful to us, and fulfilled by their own deeds, instructions appropriate to your dispensation: just accept these good seeds with faith, without hesitation and with good will; asking God that He may help with His grace to produce good fruits from them that can nourish your hungry spirit and make you worthy to rejoice in the Lord God, your Savior. You received some peace of mind upon arrival from us; Seeing this, the malicious enemy armed himself against you and confuses you with various thoughts, imagining, as it were, blessed reasons, trying with them to shake the foundation on which you, with the help of God, wanted to build the building of virtue and please the Lord. The second reason is that you, wanting to please God, want to quickly ascend to the heights of virtues, and consider this possible from you; which, I think, proves your spiritual pride (of which you yourself are aware that, not finding active fruits of good that you could boast about, the rarest desire for good serves it (pride) as food). This reason provides a convenient opportunity for the enemy to launch a strong attack on you, with God’s permission. Here are the two main reasons for your confusion and anxiety. Now I will describe to you the mystery and power of obedience, submission and obedience: that is, denial of oneself, which is performed for the sake of God, and not to please man. Our Savior Lord Jesus Christ himself said about himself: “I came down from heaven, not that I should do My will, but the will of the Father who sent Me (John 6:38). And although He was wise and perfect, He had no need for teaching, did not require guidance, but for all this He lived in obedience to Joseph and His mother: “And He was not subject to Him” (Luke 2:51). Our Savior left us this example, which we must follow: and he said to his disciples and their followers: listen to you, He listens to Me: and reject you, You are rejected from Me: Discard Me, you will reject Him who sent Me (Luke 10:16). After disobeying Adam, our will tends more towards evil; our pride overcomes good will, and the sweetness of passions captivates our soul. In order to give the proper motivation to ourselves, it is necessary that we be wise and very prudent, unsophisticated from passions and perfect in great virtue. The one who thinks that he himself is content to guide himself is always imperfect; So, another leader is needed, and not ourselves; we should never entrust ourselves with such authority; We need to dedicate our will to another leader and obey him, and not ourselves. For he, just as he is never carried away by the sweetness of our passions, and just as he does not feel the pride that possesses our soul, has a calm mind in reasoning with us, compels us daily, with attention, and very moderately, and so leads us along the path of salvation. Everyone clearly sees that obedience is what directs us to the path of perfection (from the words of Nicephorus of Astrakhan about obedience). St. John Climacus writes in the 1st degree of his ladder: “Those who have placed their trust in themselves have been deceived, and have imagined that they do not need a guide,” and in the 4th degree: “The properties of obedience are these: obedience is the rejection of one’s own reasoning, even if one were rich in it. Obedience is the grave of will and the resurrection of humility; obedience is distrust of oneself in all good deeds, even until the end of life. The Holy Fathers consider psalmody to be a weapon against demons, prayer to be a wall, unfeigned tears to be a bath, and they called blessed obedience a virtue without which none of those entangled in passions will see the Lord. Let us not be afraid, even if we fight through confession; it is better to deal with bodily uncleanness than to fight with pride as brothers. And although you fall in battle, do not leave the place of battle; Then you have a much greater need for a doctor. – If one who has a guide stumbles his foot against a stone, then one who walks without one will not only stumble, but may even be dashed to death. When a doctor realizes that he is unable to heal us, then we must go to another doctor; Without a doctor, very few are healed. Who in this argument of ours can contradict us?” “Won’t a ship, even if it had a skilled helmsman, perish if, in case of danger, it does not use him to help? We must believe in those who have received the Lord's care to save us without any curiosity; even if it seemed to us that they were establishing something contrary to our salvation. Then our trust in them, like in the crucible of humility, is tempted. For this is a sign of true trust, when someone seeing something somewhat contrary to his aspirations, however, since the mentors establish it to be so, believes without a doubt.” “Those patients who, having seen the skill and benefit provided by the doctor, but not waiting for a complete cure, but leaving it in contempt, resort to another, are worthy of any punishment before God. Do not run away from the hands of the one who brought you to the Lord; No one in your entire life should you honor as much as him. From obedience comes humility, from humility comes reasoning, from reasoning the gift of consideration, and from this comes insight.” And St. Abba Dorotheos, in his teaching on the failure to form one’s mind, writes: the wise Solomon in parables says: “Those who have no nourishment, fall like leaves.” (Prov.11:14); and “just as a city is not fenced and there is opportunity in the earth, so a man does what he does without advice” (Prov. 25:29); But salvation is in much counsel (Prov. 11:14). “You see the power of the word, brothers, you see what St. Scripture confirms us; Let us not follow ourselves; but not the imams who are reasonable to themselves; Let us not believe that we can arrange ourselves; We demand help, we demand those who care for us according to Bose. Nothing is more wretched, nothing is more destructive than the poor who instruct them in the path of God. What does he say: they have no nourishment, they fall like leaves. The leaf from the beginning is always green, flourishing, red, but also gradually dries up and falls, and other things are carelessly trampled on; Thus there is a person who is not nourished by anyone; from the beginning, to have warmth for fasting, for vigil, for silence, for obedience and for certain other benefits, also little by little, the warmth of it faded away, and I do not have one who nourishes him, who solders and burns the warmth into it, his face dries up insensibly and falls, and other things happen, a helper of enemies, and they do what they want in it, About those who inform even about this, and with the advice of all those who create, he says: salvation is in much advice. He does not say: with advice to many, as if he gives advice to everyone; but saying, as with whom one should have a notification and not to remain silent, but to say: but notify everything, and consult on everything; for such a one knows salvation through much counsel. Whenever we keep our will, and following our justifications (our opinions), then we slander everything else, as if we were doing good, to ourselves, and we mean it, as if we were perishing. How can we understand the will of God or seek it in every way, believing in ourselves and holding our own will? - For this reason, Abba Pimen said: as the will (one’s own) wall is between man and God; Even if justification (one’s own opinion) helps the will, a person becomes corrupted. Who would blame such a person for believing, since a person’s message is greater than that, which is for his benefit? then the accomplishment allows itself to follow its own desire and its own thoughts - and so on, just as the enemy wants, the fall causes him to fall. For this reason, the evil one hates the voices of affirmation. Not only does the evil one hate this very statement, but his voice can be heard below; that is, the very thing is to say something about affirmation. As if I were saying: before doing anything, ask about the benefit; before you understand to the enemy whether he keeps the hedgehog he hears or does not keep the hedgehog he hears; He hates that which is only asked by someone, or heard from someone useful: that very voice, the very noise of such words, he hates and disgusts; and I say this: the news is that his villainy is known, thereby asking and revealing the word about the benefit, and he hates and fears nothing, as if it were known, because he does not begin to slander, as he wants. If the soul is strengthened, then proclaim everything, and hear from someone leading: Behold, do, and behold, do not; This is good, but this is not good; This is justification, this is will; again he will hear: there is no time for sowing things; sometimes he will hear now there is time; the devil does not acquire any guilt to harm him; damage it below. From now on, as if he had decided, he consults and is confirmed from everywhere, and there is a hedgehog in him: there is salvation in many councils; The evil one does not want this, but hates it: he wants to do evil, and even more rejoices because they cannot be nourished. What? they fall gently, like leaves. See why the enemy hates the voice of affirmation, because he always wants our destruction: see why we love those who make up our minds; They help the devil as much as they create slander for themselves. - Man knows no other fall, but he must believe it in his own heart. Nezius says: this is how a man falls, or this is how he fell, and yet another fall, we don’t know if it’s because of this. Have you seen anyone fall: warn him as if he were your follower. Nothing is more difficult than to follow oneself: nothing is more destructive.” – Other fathers also write about the same subject, His Holiness Callistus, Patriarch of Constantinople, St. Simeon the New Theologian, St. Theodore the Studite and other fathers. But leaving behind the multitude, I believe that this teaching of the God-inspired great fathers is sufficient for your assurance: it is necessary and beneficial to have someone instructing you on the path of salvation, and not to follow your own mind and will. What worries you most of all, and you reproach yourself, is that you care more about pleasing your mentors than God: that the thought that you must confess every sin to me holds you back more than the fear of angering the Lord; and in the very desire to please God, there is a desire to have a witness in people. Your thoughts lead you to arrogance. Is it not for the fear of God that you repent of your sins before God, having a witness - His servant, to whom the keys have been entrusted - to decide and knit? This is not done to please man, but rather to please God. St. John Climacus writes in the 4th degree: “the soul, reflecting on the confession of its sins, is restrained from it, like a bridle from lawlessness, for we continue to repeat unconfessed crimes, as if in darkness, shamelessly. The ulcers that appear will not spread to the worst, but will be healed.” This opinion is contrary to yours. Therefore, although, as it seems to you, and being afraid to confess a sin to a person, you refrain from it, cleanse yourself from passions and sin, then you do not lose anything here, but gain decency and peace of conscience. But much more humbly, and therefore more firmly, not thinking that we ourselves, but through the prayers of others, received this. But many who walked the high path fell in a great fall. Judge: is it because of my fear that you refrain from sins? I am not a expert on the heart, and if you hide something from me, I will not exact it from you and reprove it; and you have nothing to fear from me; from this you see that the fear of God compels you to confess your sins; and therefore to refrain from them, and not mine. You see yourself as prone to arrogance, then try as much as you can to reject arrogance; and having completely rejected this thought that bothers you, be peaceful and calm. No matter how painful and painful it may be to remain completely alone again, not having anyone to trust with your feelings, you would be ready to sacrifice this consolation if you had no doubt: is this not an enemy temptation, which, under the guise of pure service to God, wants to deprive you of support, for the most convenient attraction to evil? An obvious temptation of the enemy - your opinion is fair; and his intention - you can see this from the above St. fathers of teachings. If only he submits you to his will and reason, then, under the guise of imaginary virtues, he will force you to eat the bitter fruit of delusion; of which there are many examples in the lives of St. We see fathers in church histories. - It is fair that out of love for God one must please Him; but love has a close union with humility; and if you don’t see this last thing in yourself, then don’t look for love. Love elevates, but humility does not condone the elevated part; take this and she will fall; You realize that opinion and pride do not leave you, with which the purest service cannot be established. Therefore, it is necessary to go to God in a humble way, and beware of arrogance; This is why you lose your peace of mind and fall into the crimes about which you wrote: that unimportant troubles annoyed you for several days. Where is God's love here? And there was no humility, but pride took its place; if you delve into the teachings of St. fathers, then you will easily see this truth; and the teaching of the Lord: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29), - shows you the reason for your anxiety; then in order to gain this treasure (humility), you must not rely on your mind and strength: which was shown to you quite above. Further, and to write about your embarrassment to me, according to the skilled, the enemy prevented you, imagining that I was bored by your letters; but you did well to force yourself to write. I know that at the same time you received some relief from your embarrassment. You, having tasted, by the mercy of God, the sweetness and consolation of prayer, and now not finding this in yourself, are embarrassed, despondent, consider yourself and your negligence to be the culprit of this loss - this is the true truth. But I also find here the providence of God, which has taken away this consolation from you: without conquering passions and without purifying your heart, is it possible to preserve this wealth without harm? And it is not given to you for your benefit, so that you do not fall into delusion. You live in the middle of the world and vanity, you cannot reconcile yourself; and humility is its repository. Try, in any case, to fulfill the commandments of Christ, and recognize your weakness; and having known it, humble yourself; but do not seek reward for fulfilling the commandments, but consider yourself obligated to fulfill them, but unworthy of the reward. If you arrange yourself this way, you will not lose God’s mercy. When we rely on prayer alone without doing the commandments, we will not succeed in the least; as evidenced by St. Macarius, in the book of seven words (word 1, chapter 9); “If we are not adorned with humility, simplicity and goodness, the image of prayer will not benefit us.” (chapter 13). “Compell yourself without fail to every good deed and to all the commandments of the Lord; at least for the one who resides in the heart there was no sin and desire for creation; those. do violence to yourself to humble yourself before all people, and consider yourself worse and less than everyone else; in a similar way: to be merciful, kind, compassionate, good; as much as possible by forcing yourself to do so; and so that now we work with violence and an unwilling heart, we will later get used to every good deed.” Presenting to you the need and benefit in the present, I will now say; I do not consider myself worthy of this, and capable of taking on this responsibility; but I just don’t dare refuse those who come and seek benefit, not relying on my own reason, but on God, who gives the word according to the faith and needs of everyone; Without faith, if someone asks, he does not gain any benefit. And about this I will write to you from the 4th degree, St. John of the Climacus: “It is very necessary that those who wish to always maintain an undoubted trust in their mentors, their good deeds are indelible and unforgettable in their hearts, so that with the memory of this they stop the mouths of the demons when they begin to instill in us mistrust towards them. As much as faith blooms in the heart, only as much as the body succeeds in its service: and as soon as someone stumbles against the stone of unbelief, then without a doubt he will fall. For it is true that everything that does not come from faith is sin. Whenever your thought prompts you to condemn or blaspheme your mentor: then jump away from this, like from fornication, and do not give this serpent any hope, no place, no entrance, below any attack, but on the contrary, exclaim to him: O charming one! It was not my mentor who was put on trial, but he was over me; it was not I who was put on trial over him, but he who was appointed judge over me. - And St. Abba Dorotheos in the above-mentioned word teaches: “Everyone can think, who, if he does not have, who asks someone, what should he do? Truly, if anyone truly wants to do the will of God with all his heart, God will never leave him, but will instruct him in every way according to His will. In truth, if someone corrects his heart according to the will of God, God will enlighten him a little, telling him His will: if someone does not want to do the will of God with the true will, and if he goes to the prophet, the Lord will give him the answer to his corrupted heart in the heart of the prophet.” You see that God acts in those asked for benefit, according to the faith and will of the questioner. For this, that you were troubled by the thought of disbelief against my badness, I do not grieve you in the least, and you may be at peace in this. I wrote you this letter not from my own mind, but from the teaching of the holy fathers, which you will read with attention; It seems to me that it can serve as a solution to your perplexities: but so that you accept with firm conviction this work of God - to act in you according to your faith. He is powerful to enlighten your heart, and to instruct you in the true path of piety, and to crush the arrows of the enemy fired at you, just have a good will and humble wisdom, and with an undoubting heart begin to do the commandments of the Lord. I express my respects to your entire honorable family; and asking for God's blessing on them and on you, to whose protection I entrust you and remain your zealous pilgrim I.M. With your writing to me, feeble-minded, you deign to explain your stifling, confused dispensation; If you want to receive joy for your soul, I must admit to myself that I myself am insufficient in everything. From Father’s letter to you, you will see enough strengthening for you: in addition, I will also tell you how much I can understand about your structure. You are in the spiritual army, wanting to please the Lord, which is why the enemy, hating, is arming himself against you with various means, even to overthrow you and turn you away from the path of salvation. In a sensual war, although the warriors will accept wounds, they do not retreat from the militia, but tear them apart to fight, and for this they are rewarded by the king. Stand courageously in this most severe battle, and although you see yourself defeated, do not retreat from God, do not be embarrassed, do not give yourself over to the joy of the enemy, but be courageous and humbly ask God for forgiveness and help. Although your prayer is cold, it is all the more humble; Do not doubt the mercy of God and calm yourself, and then begin to go on the road: but in confusion you will not find any benefit; This is the enemy’s chariot, and that’s why you are becoming hardened. You ask me for rules for action in cases of despondency, mistrust, irritation, laziness, pride and others. Have a good will to fulfill the will of God, and try to fulfill it, and have the fear of God. When something happens beyond your will, do not be discouraged and do not despair, but recognizing your weakness, humble yourself and ask for forgiveness from the Lord. Having a struggle with passions, it is impossible not to be defeated someday, lest we become exalted; to which many testified from the holy fathers; Until a person completely humbles himself, his virtues cannot be strong. We cannot be free from passions, but must always resist them and not be idle. I don’t dare set the rules for what you asked, but I offer advice against despondency: patience, psalmody and prayer. There is enough written about mistrust in the priest’s letter. Against irritation, patience, self-reproach and reasoning about the passion of Christ. Against laziness - cheerfulness and fear of God. Against pride - remembering your sins, remembering the humility of Christ, considering yourself the worst of all, remembering that God opposes the proud (1 Pet. 5:5). I wrote this to you briefly; and since every passion blinds a person, then ask the Lord not to allow the spiritual vision to be darkened by passions. To better educate yourself, I advise you to read the books of St. Demetrius, Metropolitan of Rostov, Tikhon of Voronezh, Nicephorus of Astrakhan - interpretation of the Sunday Gospels. I think there is one in your city, in a church or in a monastery; Yes, I think it won’t be a burden for you to give at least 25 rubles every year for this library; Surely you will not regret denying yourself something in everyday life, for the benefit of your soul; You probably have things that serve to clean your body, and I don’t think they occupy you, so why is it not difficult for you to sacrifice them to acquire imperishable gold and stones. The word of the Lord is pure (Ps. 11:7), more honorable than gold and stone (Ps. 19:11). I do not dare to disparage Fenelon’s works: but as you write, they are very sublime, why do you not need them yet; try more about the active mind; and in purifying passions and contemplation, God will not leave you. – I.M. August 1835. Most reverent N.N. of the Lord! To answer your bewilderment, I offer my reasoning, and not mine, but the teaching taught by the holy fathers. St. Climacus writes: “those who relied on themselves and did not find the need for a spiritual doctor were deceived. And that one must certainly reveal one’s thoughts, as the brothers did at that time; some even wrote down what they thought during the day and then opened it.” St. Abba Dorotheos taught that salvation is in many councils (Prov. 11:14), not to consult with many, but with whom one should (one’s father), and about everything - not to remain silent, nor to speak, but to proclaim everything about oneself; and that the enemy hates even the voice of affirmation and leads away from it. St. Simeon the New Theologian orders us to open our thoughts to our mentor every day, and not to do anything without advice. St. Callistus and Ignatius wrote two extensive chapters about this, 14 to 15. St. Cassian writes that we reveal not exactly what we do, but also what we think, we reveal to our fathers, and let us believe in nothing of our own thoughts, but let us follow the words of the elders in everything; and we believe that it will be good even if they tempt us. Packs of St. Ladder says: “Humility is born from obedience”; This obedience is certainly associated with revelation and rejection of one’s will and mind. In this way, spiritual life begins, progresses, and is accomplished, and only in this way can, with God’s help, avoid delusion—either the uplifting mountain or the downfall. In your field, is it entrusted to have such a constant relationship with your spiritual father? But the same should apply to spiritual mentors who have experienced spiritual life and can show others the path, and warn against harm, and support in spiritual battles. By the faith of those who come, God Himself admonishes the mentors to say a word for their benefit and give useful advice; and when they have revelation and obedience with the rejection of their mind and will, they will become accustomed to spiritual life and humility. This is the kind of life the ancient ascetics lived, as we see from their lives; where could they look for spiritual mentors when the male sex was not allowed to enter them? – Was it only for the communion of the Holy Mysteries that a priest came, and then only rarely; but there were no definite ones, as there are now. In particular, some did, but not all, as is the case now; and not always, but temporarily. The image of this spiritual life does not refer to formal confession before the spiritual father; that in itself must be fulfilled, according to the prescribed times, and not hide anything from him, and receive permission: and that is, guidance in spiritual life; for is it possible to explain every case to the spiritual father when, when you come to confession, you do not have time for more than 5 or 10 minutes - and two or three months pass without confessing? Meanwhile, you walk with a burdened conscience and a darkened mind, and, for non-revelation, you are always defeated by the same thing; and through the revelation of thoughts, although without permission, they receive peace of mind, a reduction in warfare and instruction in confrontation. “For the very thing that shows and reveals evil thoughts to fathers (and among you to mothers) fades and the weakest does things.” (At St. Cascian's). Meanwhile, when you reveal it to your mother, you have no intention of hiding this from your spiritual father, and even if she finds it necessary, due to the importance of the sin, without hesitation and without waiting for the time of confession, to reveal it to your confessor and receive permission. From all of the above, consider the benefits of revelation in your field of mentors. For not trusting you, do not blame others, but yourself, saying: “I am apparently worthy of it and God does not tell them to believe me” - from this you can acquire humility; and justification shows that you are feeding on thoughts of pride; but it’s not my business to see other people’s weaknesses when I myself am filled with them; but the truth must be told. I remain the desire for your salvation. Mnogohreshny I.M. May 24, 1845. To my spiritual daughter I send peace blessings and forgiveness in the thoughts expressed by her in the scriptures. But my beloved daughter in spirit, I saw from your letter some dubious things, which I am compelled by my duty to point out to you, so that the flattery of the enemy does not hide from you. You think to acquire purity, but you still see that you are not yet alien to carnal passion; Also, other passions have an entrance into your heart: slanderous, envious, murmuring, vain, and others; and with them you have the opinion that you have acquired the feeling of God’s love when you say: “I’m afraid to lose the feeling of love for God.” Here you also mention the consolations that come to you in prayer; one thing seems to be contrary to the other, to be overcome by passions and to think of having the love of God: about this, read the attached extracts from the book of St. Isaac the Syrian and you will see that without purity it is by no means possible to acquire the love of God; and purity is above passions; in his 21st word: to the question: what is purity of heart and what is the sign of this? answers: “When all people see good, and no one seems to be unclean and filthy, then he is truly pure in heart; when this is not in him, he is far from purity.” The Holy Apostles write: St. John - “if anyone says that I love God, but hates his brother, it is a lie” (1 John 4:20), and St. Paul explains the properties of love by saying: “it is patient with love, it is merciful, it does not envy love; loves, has faith in everything, trusts everything, endures everything. Lyuba Nikolay disappears. (1 Cor. 13:4-8). This is the height of love, and it unites in one’s neighbor with God’s! – Who dares to think about acquiring it to God? although he sometimes feels consolation, he cannot rely on them either; Many, receiving consolations and imagining themselves worthy of being thereof, were deceived by this opinion and lost everything. If these consolations are part of the gifts of God, then they are given to the worthy and humble; “Granting destruction without temptation to those who accept, that is, writes St. Isaac in the 34th word. “If the Lord gives you a gift, beg Him to give you the understanding of how it is appropriate for you to humble yourself, or to set a guard over it, or to take it from You, so that it will not be the cause of your destruction. Not everyone has the ability to preserve their wealth without harm.” You have a desire to see yourself as sinless, and thereby you imagine pleasing God. And the holy fathers, with all their height, had humility, and thought of being sinners for themselves, not at all turning their minds to virtues and talents. As the Savior teaches: Whenever you have done all that is commanded you, say that you are unworthy servants (Luke 17:10). St. also writes. Dorotheos: “The saints, approaching God, see themselves more than sinners.” St. Isaac in the 55th word: “If anyone does not imagine himself to be a sinner, his prayer is not favorable with the Lord.” St. Peter of Damascus in his place 4 writes about the seven works, and in conclusion he says: “and then the mind begins to see its own sins, like the sand of the sea, and this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health.” And many saints teach us to see our sins and humble ourselves; but don't despair. When we think our sins are small, we are allowed to fall into a big one,” writes St. Isaac. I advise you to avoid the opinion that you have the love of God, and not to consider yourself worthy of consolations, although they will come; and to remember one’s past and present sins, humbling oneself through them; but without despair or embarrassment, for despair and embarrassment prove obvious pride. Yes, even if you saw yourself not cold from passions, and then don’t believe it. What does St. teach? Isaac in the 73rd word: “First of all, bring you into the city of humility, if you see yourself, as if you were resting from the oppression of passions, but you will not believe yourself, because the enemy is planting some kind of bait on you, but expect in this peace a lot of constriction and confusion.” From all these fatherly teachings given to you, you see that although you are cold from passions and are overcome by them, do not despair, but humble yourself; but do not become arrogant about virtues or talents. Do not be surprised if carnal passion does not retreat from you; St. Diadochos writes in chapter 99 5: “When a man of God conquers all the passions of God, two demons remain fighting with him... But the body is moved by the lust of that mixture, some fiery action, and this happens to the body, first of all, since this sweetness is inherent in the nature of being, like procreation for the sake of childbirth, and for this reason it is more convenient for us to overcome: the rest and permission for the sake of God, whenever the Lord sees someone from the mobile, the great one who possesses many virtues allows him once, from Such a filthy demon, and the worst person hates all living people.” I wrote this to you as a precaution, so that you would not be deceived, relying on consolations, and I might have the love of God; but consider yourself unworthy of this, and remember that God is more pleased with a sinner with repentance than with a righteous man with pride, from which may the Lord save you! I. L-d and I. M-ii. What an unfounded and incorrect concept of yours: accepting everything with vehemence and irritation, you attribute it to your unbearable properties and evil disposition and character; you write that every word, sight and movement that touches you greatly touches and disturbs your peace. So what should you do here? Therefore, so that you do not worry, you need to protect yourself from all these cases, which is impossible to do; but even if it were possible to do so, it would serve to further your frustration and confusion, and not to peace. Your passions would take more root in you, and even if no one touched you, they themselves would deprive you of peace forever; and this very thing that touches you, the opposition made to you, is the healing sent by God himself to your evil disposition and character. Have a good will to take these medicines, force yourself to be patient, and ask for God’s help, then over time you will see yourself healed from these intolerable diseases; This is why the commandments were given to us by God, in order to heal with them our passions and the sins that arise from them. When you make a start, then, with God’s help, look after yourself: if you are offended for something that is contrary to you, then blame yourself for being offended, and not the one who offended you; and also thank him for giving you the opportunity to see your defilement and take care of its healing. After all, you yourself read the books of your fathers, and I wrote to you many times and told you what you should do in such cases when you are offended. – St. Simeon the New Theologian ch. 31. Mark of the ascetic ch. 209. Conversations of the Monk Zosima, Abba Dorotheus: “about reproaching yourself”; at St. Climacus in the degree about obedience and from many others you will find how to get healing for your intolerable character. The root of it is pride; try to pluck it out every day, the branches will fly away on their own; and in its place plant the root of humility, on which good branches will grow and bear fruit that soothes you. In any case, this letter can serve you as good advice when you accept it with faith and heed the truths written here, which I wrote to you out of a true desire for your peaceful and tranquil stay and salvation. I remain the sinful I.M. November 14, 1850. You complain about your furious part, and you are horrified. We need to be humble rather than horrified; to be horrified means the same thing as to be embarrassed, and in embarrassment there is no longer any humility, no repentance, no drive to resist and exterminate passion. Take the example of a field overgrown with frog and thorns. What to do with her? No matter what good you sow, it will all be lost. It is necessary to pluck out the thorns little by little and cleanse the ice; and then sow; It is said to turn away from evil and do good (Ps. 33:15). Apparently, one with the other does not fit in our hearts; but it is a vast field, overgrown with thorns and thistles of passions. How to sow good seeds on it? They disappear and bear no fruit; Therefore, it is necessary every day, although little by little, to pluck out the thorns of passions, not allowing them to come into action, and especially the dominant violent part; to despise the things for which it burns: for they are not worth it to blind the intelligent eye of the heart through them: my eye is troubled by rage, says St. David (Ps. 30:10). Know the root of anger and rage: it is pride; the opposite of humility, purge it with the help of God, who looks upon the humble. But this is not a matter of a single day or month, but a lot of time, will, effort, labor, and God’s help is required to eradicate this deadly root; and to him the former will be plucked out, and all the branches of passions will wither and fall away. To help you, study from the fatherly writings: Mark of the Ascetic, message to Nicholas the monk; St. Kasian about eight passionate thoughts, and St. Nilus of Sora about the same. You will find the first in the 1st part of the Philokalia, and the second in the 4th part of it, and, if you wish, the Lord will send you His help. Asking for God's blessing on you, with my respect I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the many-sinful I.M. Venerable Mother N in the Lord! Do you ask for my guidance on how to endure and how to accept such letters (of which one was sent to me), with thanksgiving and without grumbling? If we believe in the Lord, then we believe in His teaching and His all-good, all-wise and omnipresent providence, and He commanded us to love not only those who love us, but also the enemies themselves, and that no one can do us any harm or insult without His will; He confirmed that He has providence for everything, that even a bird will not fall without His will (Matthew 10:29), and the hair of our head will not perish (Luke 21:18) - if He does not allow it; and if someone insults us, then it is clear that by His permission, it is to our punishment, or to the test of our faith: and He commanded us to love those who insult (Matthew 5:44). When we do not fulfill this, we are found to be transgressors of His commandments; and when we grumble and blame others, we aggravate our sorrows even more. “And this is what I, unfortunately, see in you, that you keep blaming others, and don’t see that God allows it to be this way, and the words of St. come true on you.” Prophet David: Your destinies are taken away from before him (Ps.9:26). You grumble, but thereby increase your sorrows: and when you humbly bow your neck under the hand of God, and blame yourself, besides all other faults, for impatience and grumbling, then you will receive relief and consolation in your sorrows. I know that you will be offended at me for this, but what should I do? If I write to please you, blaming them, then I will act against my conscience and deliver you into the hands of enemies and into even greater sorrow. To assure you that I am not offering you from my own mind, I am sending you an extract from the book of St. Isaac the Syrian. “Whenever we are handed over for our sins, by the mercy of God we are handed over to the rod of temptation, in order to deliver us from future torment; If the rod of judge approaches us, let us humble ourselves and remember our iniquities and make confessions before God; we will soon be delivered from small temptations. Shall we become hardened in our sorrows and not confess that we are guilty of such things and are worthy of much suffering? but we blame people, sometimes also demons, and at some time the truth of God, and we affirm ourselves that we are innocent of such things, and this we think and say, but we do not think, as God knows the message especially about us; and as throughout the whole earth the destinies are His essence and as without His commandment man is not punished: we are abandoned; and for this reason, all that comes upon us, creates everlasting sorrow in us, and our sorrows are green and from one to another we are already tied, until we recognize ourselves and humble ourselves and feel our iniquities; Apart from this - if we feel this, it is impossible for us to come to correction.” (f. 51, p. 256) This God-inspired teaching will show you the truth and consciousness, from which your sorrows increase and aggravate; and you will walk the true path of eternal life. May the Lord comfort you with His mercy; I earnestly wish and remain the great sinner I.M. January 4, 1851. I rejoice from the heart, seeing from your letter that you have become pacified in your cell in your economic communication, which I earnestly wish for you in the future. At the end of your letter you write that you experience terrible inner annoyance, boredom, that you would even scream out of embarrassment, and this happens for no apparent reason. To this end I will tell you: our life should be sorrowful, not joyful, the kingdom of heaven is in need, and the needy delight it (Matthew 11:12). And through many sorrows we must enter into the kingdom of God. (Acts 14:22). When we cannot bear external sorrows, that is: humiliation, annoyance, reproaches, slander, neglect, etc., which purify and heal our spiritual passions, then God sends us an internal spiritual cross: darkness, languor, annoyance, zeal, etc., which you remember. Look at your life and believe in the life and teachings of St. fathers. They, having gone through the suffering path of life, accomplished it with humility and love and received spiritual fruit; and we, not to mention you, are looking only for peace in our life; We do not tolerate reproaches and annoyance, but tear ourselves away from ourselves, and in such a poor dispensation we are bogged down by opinions about ourselves, and we reproach, condemn, despise others, etc., then what kind of spiritual fruits will we expect? What we sow is what we reap. When you want to receive true peace of mind, then listen to the Lord, who commanded us: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). You see what the Lord commands us to learn more: humility and meekness, which only can calm us down. But this science is not acquired once and not in one day or year, but through much time, heroism, self-motivation and the help of God. The Holy Fathers teach us that without this treasure all our wealth of virtues is insignificant; and it (humility) alone is to strongly intercede for us to the Lord, without deeds, and will forgive our sins, and deeds without it will not bring any benefit (Good. Callus, and Ign. ch. 43, Isaac. Sir. f. 46, St. John. Flattery art. 23, Abba Isa. sl. 9). Let us strive for this every day and, on occasion, recognize our spiritual weakness and humble ourselves, and not reproach others, and read fatherly books that encourage us to do this; then, over time, passions will subside, and we will receive peace. But at the present time, when your spiritual languor and annoyance occur, you need to reproach yourself, humble yourself and consider yourself worthy of this burden, fall before the Lord, asking for His mercy, and surrendering to His will, thereby calming yourself down, bearing this spiritual cross: peace of mind does not benefit us before cleansing from passions, and even more so from vanity and arrogance. St. Isaac the Syrian teaches about this in the 78th word: “When you find unchanging peace on your path, then fear” and so on. May the Lord enlighten you and strengthen you on the path of salvation leading to eternal life. There is no harm in reading the prayer read by N.N. for those who hate; but to reintroduce some news into society is not of our mind and structure. The prayer: “those who hate and offend us”... is not only equivalent to it, but will also be more supportive in making petitions. We just need to remember that the kingdom of God is not in words, but in power, that is, in deeds (1 Cor. 4:20). If we ask God for those who hate us in order to have mercy on them, this is a matter of love; but it is necessary to show it in practice to them, according to the commandment of God: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and so on. (Matthew 5:44); and if I pray for them, and meanwhile I myself become angry, hate, condemn, contradict, then what is the use of prayer? We not only do this to those who hate us, but we also do not yield to those who insult us in word or form. So, we must pray for those who hate, and more importantly, to destroy our hatred, and by humbling ourselves before them to calm ourselves down, first in secret, and when necessary, openly. Mnogohreshny I.M. January 23, 1831. I received your letter dated January 11th, but until now I could not answer you due to the illness of my eyes, and now I myself cannot write, but although dictating to another, I want to answer you. I don’t think that I could fully satisfy your expectations, but hoping for God’s help and calling on your saints. prayers, according to your faith, I will say what I think will be useful for you. From your letter I see that you have been in the monastery for 45 years, strengthened by the power of God, and until now you have been leading a constant life, and during that time you have enjoyed peace of mind, having warmth and tears in prayer every day, and there were no great temptations, and there were no insults from the authorities; Since this year, you have been feeling inner anxiety, fear and despondency and have not had complete peace for five years; ask me for spiritual healing. I, looking at my weaknesses and spiritual passions, should have listened to myself, for I have done nothing good, but, afraid to leave your request, and seeing your confusion and bewilderment, as I said above, with the help of God, I offer you, not from my works, but from the teachings of St. fathers, a reasoning that is appropriate, in my opinion, to your dispensation. The Monk Abba Dorotheos writes in his brief teachings that every good thing is either preceded or followed by temptation; Below, for sure, there is something that happens according to God, unless you are tempted by adversity.” And the Monk Macarius in the 7th homily, in the 7th chapter, in chapters: 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, writes that those who begin to work for the Lord will certainly be tempted, where he describes various types of them and cites from St. Scriptures, St. Sirach, chapter 2, verses 1, 2 and 4, if you begin to work for the Lord God, prepare your soul for temptation: guide your heart and be patient... and whatever is dealt to you, accept it, and be patient when your humility changes. Likewise, other St. the fathers, who themselves have walked this narrow and sorrowful path, strengthen us in it; Moreover, the Lord himself taught us: whoever wants to walk after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and come after Me (Matthew 16:24). This offered us nothing more than patience with sorrows. You, preserved by the grace of God, went through without having great temptations in your life, but even if you received, through warmth and tears, spiritual consolations; and this would be very dangerous if you were left completely without temptations. St. Isaac the Syrian writes in the 34th word: “even if he found himself in his virtue without sorrow, the door of pride was opened to him”; and above: “gift without temptation, destruction to those who accept that is”; – You had the gift of tears and warmth that calmed you, but they were not purified by the fire of temptation that humbles us; without this, with only consoling feelings, it is very dangerous; for many, as we see from the fatherly stories and teachings, having been deceived by them, fell into incurable delusion; and therefore, perpetual peace, without shocks, is not only not useful to us, but also harmful; about which I testify to you by the teaching of St. Isaac the Syrian, in the 78th word: “When you find peace on your path unchangeable, then fear, for you are far from the right path, walked by the suffering feet of the saints. As you travel the path of the city of the kingdom and approach the city of God, let this be a sign for you: the strength of temptation will overcome you, and as you approach and succeed, temptations will multiply against you.” And below: “otherwise, it is fitting for us in times of these temptations to have two things, opposed to each other, and in no way similar to each other; This is the essence: joy and fear. There is joy, for on the path trodden by the feet of the saints, especially from the Life-Giving One, we have found everything as we walk, but we must have fear, lest we be tempted by these things for the guilt of pride.” All our actions are insufficient if they are not sanctified by reasoning, and reasoning, according to the word of St. Cascian the Roman and St. Peter of Damascus is born from humility, and humility from sorrow. I don’t know your mental state, whether you have acquired humility; but it is clear that you placed the hope of salvation in these comforting feelings of yours, and this is already very fragile. We see that St. the fathers, with all their great corrections, considered themselves to have done nothing good, but considered themselves dust and ashes; therefore, humility itself saved them from the delusion of conceit, and those who were deceived by the opinion of their deeds, accursedly fell away and crawled either into passion, or into confusion and disorder, deprived of spiritual peace. In the lives of St. Fathers mention one monk who was awarded such grace that he received food from an Angel; but when he thought that he had already been saved and was confirmed in this thought, he lost all this, fell into bad thoughts, and then had to follow the most humble path. Likewise, the Venerable Isaac the recluse of Pechersk, having spent seven years in seclusion, in prayer and prayer, was seduced by a demon who appeared to him in the form of an Angel and Christ, and it is known that he suffered, and in what way he later found salvation. Reasoning about your current temptations, I believe that it was not without the waves of God that they were allowed to you to humility; and since you did not have any external temptations or insults, then this spiritual cross was allowed to you for spiritual success, and therefore do not be embarrassed by such a burden and do not grieve that, having consolations, you are now in the opposite state, but humble yourself and surrender to the will of God. He will not send temptations beyond measure; You will receive benefit for yourself through such a temptation, more than through consolation, which, however, even now, although rarely, you are not deprived of; but it’s not always useful to have them, as I explained to you above. Temptations humble us, not elevate us, but we really need humility; according to the word of St. Isaac the Syrian (in the 46th word), “and besides works he saves us, but works on the contrary without humility are useless.” Read your father's books; in their teaching you will find admonition and strengthening for yourself. Of which I will offer you little: (John of Carpathia, chapters 70 and 71). “For a certain time, enlightened by the Divine and rested without grace after hiding this, fall into confusion and filthiness, and grumble for this sake, and do not take courage in prayer to call out the saving message, but be indignant: it is proper to eat food, I accept alms from the chamber and endure inconvenience, without going inside give dinner to the princess. Blessed are they who have not seen and yet have believed (John 20:29). Like those who are blessed, who do not find consolation in themselves in the hiding of grace, and even more so, who see the sorrowful and the heavy darkness for a long time, and do not despair, but are strengthened by faith, never hesitate to see the Invisible, and endure valiantly.” (Isaac the Syrian ch. 79.) “All circumstances and sorrows have nothing to do with the essence of patience, their torment is purely theirs. Patience for a person will take away his misadventures. Cowardice mother is torment. Patience is the mother of consolation and a certain strength that is usually lost from the space of the heart. Whenever God desires to insult a person to the greatest extent, he allows him to fall into the hands of cowardice. This gives rise to the strength of strong despondency in him, and in him he tastes the spiritual pain, which is the taste of hell. And from this we induce a spirit of frenzy, and from it the darkness of temptation emanates: confusion, rage, blasphemy, reproach of good things, thoughts of corruption, moving from country to country, and the like. Is it possible to say that there is such a thing as wine? I tell you what your negligence is; You are not worried about seeking this healing. There is only one healing for all, through whose hand anyone finds consolation in his soul a6e. And what is this? Humility of heart. Apart from this, no one can destroy the stronghold of these evils. But what is more important is the prevailing nan. Do not be angry with me, for I tell you the truth: you did not seek this when with all your soul. If you want, come to his country, and see what destruction of your malice brings you. In proportion to your humility, you will be given patience in your misadventures. And through your patience the severity of your sorrows will be lightened and you will receive consolation. And by your consolation your love for God is magnified. And because of your love, your joy in the Holy Spirit is great. Our generous Father, who truly exists as sons, when he deigns to create a way out of their temptations, does not take temptations away from them, but gives them patience in their temptations. And this is all that is good, with the hand of its patience it accepts the perfection of its souls.” Read also in part 2 of the Philokalia by Callistus and Ignatius, chapter 85, which I do not copy out due to its greatness. The reasoning I have proposed to you, based on the teachings of St. Fathers, I wish that the spiritual cross sent to you will bring you spiritual benefit and strengthen you in patience; If the will of God be done, then the abundance will come from it. Committing myself to your saints. prayers, I remain the wisher for your health and salvation. Mnogohreshny I. M. February 3, 1851. Venerable N in the Lord! Your letter surprised me very much; you write so desperately that it’s as if there is no longer any salvation for sinners. You say: “I’m a sinner.” Forsake sin and repent, and believe that the Lord will accept your repentance. He came to call sinners to repentance, not the righteous (Matthew 9:13), and for one sinner who repents there is great joy in heaven (Luke 15:7). And no matter how great your sins are, they have a measure, but God’s mercy has no measure; This is not my word, but that of the comforter of sinners, St. John Chrysalis. He, inciting people to repentance, tells us to hope for God’s mercy, and not to despair. Of course, you do not have such serious and important sins that would burden your soul, but I believe that there is only one sin - pride; for despair, according to St. fathers, is the fruit of pride. Try to humble your wisdom, and do not humble yourself outwardly. Don’t look down on anyone, don’t judge anyone, even if you yourself have seen someone sin. There is God, the Judge of everyone, but He is also merciful and awaits our repentance. I think that you were allowed to languish in despair for no other reason than for contempt and condemnation of your neighbors. Leave this and try to see your sins, then you will humble yourself. There is no need to repent to everyone, as you write. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (Ps. 50:19). If we analyze and judge the deeds and actions of our neighbors, then when will we remember our own? May the Lord forgive you, who humble yourself and repent, and may he give you peace and tranquility in your conscience. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. November 22, 1852. Your Reverence, Most Reverend Mother Superior! You want from me, weak and feeble-minded, to have spiritual consolation and resolution of your perplexities. - And who am I! I myself am exhausted in soul and body, can I think about resolving the perplexities of others, and even as important as you propose? The God of peace and all kinds of joy is able to give you consolation and enlighten you in the works of your salvation. He, having called you to serve Himself, and having appointed you to be a teacher of others and a guide to salvation, will give you reason and strength to undergo this great service. And since He is the Good Shepherd, and does not want to leave one lost sheep, but tries to find it, and taking it on His shoulder, bring it to His Father, will He not take care of the salvation of you and the souls entrusted to you, who have dedicated themselves to serving Him? Just don’t leave Him yourself: seek and find (Matthew 7:7) His all-powerful help. About leaving your superiors and seeking refuge for your peace of mind, due to your weak health, and (for) the peace of your cells, putting your hope and care in the Lord, surrendering to His holy. will, ask your archpastor, and when God’s will is done, then the consent of the authorities and assistance will follow. This is all I can tell you, but I resolutely and directly cannot take on such courage. You write that you accepted repentant N. God bless you for this mercy: the Lord Himself does not reject us, but always accepts and forgives those who repent. Many who fell and repented received salvation; The Lord is strong and can save her. Committing myself to your saints. prayers, and wishing you peace, health and salvation, with my deepest respect I have the honor to be your Reverence, unworthy pilgrim I.M. Most venerable mother N! You are looking with faith for healing through your mother... of your mental illness, and therefore you must accept healing with such intelligence that God informs you so; and when there is fruit from your obedience, that is, humility grows, then you will receive healing. It is a great harm to you that you think that your illness is the reason that you cannot bear insult; quite the opposite, for illness also came from a lack of humility, and where there is no light, then there is clearly darkness. And so, if you want to go to your mother.... in order to receive spiritual benefit, then you must unconditionally act, and walk with faith, and accept with faith, that is, be sure that God acts through her mouth, not according to her dignity, but according to your faith, for your healing, and then you will calm down, and, moreover, consider yourself the worst and last of all, and be sure that her reproaches will not seem harsh to you, but a balm sent from God for your healing. I am not defending or justifying my mother...., I am writing this to you, but I am presenting to you that God himself is acting here, according to your faith, for your benefit. You know that He performs acts of His grace on the unworthy and opens His mouth to the dumb. Having explained this truth to you, I do not force or bind you to go and have a revelation to your mother...., but I leave it to your will, and the Lord himself does not force us, but to say this through the Prophet: if you want, and listen to Me, you will destroy the good earth (Is. 1:19). I don’t forbid you to treat me, but I can’t guarantee whether I can bring you any benefit; for I have very little time to answer... I always have more than thirty letters on my table, which I need to answer for a long time, but I don’t have enough strength. Entrusting you to the protection of God, I remain the desire for your salvation, many-sinful I.M. I cannot give a detailed answer to all the subjects stated in your letter; and you yourself correctly decide that it all comes from pride. This is the main source of all our sins, evils and disasters. At the moment, I feel very weak, and there are a lot of letters, and people demand to deal with them. I have explained enough about obedience to you, but about other cases, when your perplexities require a quick decision, pray to the Lord, ask your mother or sister with informed faith, and the Lord will give you admonition. Why should we look for some sign and foreknowledge about ourselves in saints or holy fools? It is enough for us to recognize our weakness on every occasion, acquire humility, and leave everything that concerns us to the Providence and supervision of God, considering ourselves the worst and last of all, and we will receive from the Lord peace and tranquility in our conscience; And if you don’t look for high corrections and talents in yourself, even if they exist, you will be carried away into arrogance, according to your nature. God looks upon the humble (Ps. 112:6). THEM. December 14, 1851. You know this from reading St. fathers and from personal interviews that our path is the rejection of our will and reason. Before whom should this be done? In addition to the authorities, to whom we are obliged to obey, we must have a spiritual father, or a spiritual mother, to whom with faith we surrender ourselves for spiritual nourishment, and not only revelation is required, but also complete obedience: not to trust your mind in anything and not to spit on your will, and to accept what they tell you, even if it seems contrary to your mind and intention, from which humility is born. According to St. John Climacus (v. 4): and humility calms us in everything. Consider your life and the fruits of your labors that you have received. Why is this? It is obvious that you think you have faith and revelation, but without obedience you crawl into self-justification and trust your own reason, which brings you not benefit, but confusion. You say that you have no self-reproach, but what good is it without it? The enemy always presents you as right and brings guilt to self-justification, instead of not trusting your own reason, and submitting with faith to those who desire your salvation. The enemy imagines that they don’t love you, they don’t care about you, and you believe it; and whoever speaks for your benefit, you do not give faith to, and, being embarrassed, you fall into despondency and shed not only useless, but also harmful tears. Instead of the peace that can come from revelation and obedience with faith, you walk away confused, and there is no end to this; what kind of faith is there? The enemy - the slanderer slanderes you that they are not taking care of you, but you believe him and become a participant in his slander; For this reason, you are punished by God by not receiving peace of mind. Read the teachings of St. fathers; where will you find such demands from those who submit as you have? and do you think of submitting? Read St. John Climacus 1 and 4 degrees, St. Abba Dorotheus: about the hedgehog not making up your mind, Callistus and Ignatius chapters 14 and 15. Simeon the New Theologian, many chapters; Theodore of Edessa 40th and further. Consider whether your obedience is similar to their teaching, and follow what is beneficial. I notice that envy and jealousy have sunk into you, driving out love; it is necessary to drive out the former and acquire the latter, through constant self-reproach and humility, otherwise what is the use of your imaginary revelation and obedience? Try to live independently and without looking for anything from your mother... and if you calm down, then good; and when not, then it is better to adhere to the rule laid down by the fathers, recognizing one’s weakness and reproaching oneself and not others; then you will receive peace, which I earnestly wish for you. You also write that you have no spiritual consolation, but you always feel languor in spirit and, as it were, a spiritual boa constrictor. As far as I can understand, the root of all this is pride; and you do not try to destroy it with virtues that are contrary to it: self-reproach and humility. Are you reading St. books that teach us virtues and self-reproach and humility, but you do the opposite, and instead of, seeing how far you are from doing virtues, despising and reproaching yourself, thereby gaining humility and receiving God’s help, you reproach everyone else and consider others to be guilty of your sorrows. Also in Church standing; you tell a whole story about your embarrassment, and you don’t blame yourself, but you say that you don’t even know what self-reproach can be. Read about this in Callistus and Ignatius in chapter 81, in St. Abba Dorotheus about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor. These chapters will be pleased to teach you the virtue of self-reproach. Go deep and consider your actions. What are you worried about? All your thoughts are focused on one thing: mother.... is not concerned with you, but this is a sheer lie and slander of the enemy, which you accept and only exercise your mind in it, and do not care about your soul; How can there not be boredom and mental distress here? Your tears not only do no good, but also harm you. Tears that come from the fear of God and the memory of death are beneficial and humbling, but these tears are of a completely different kind. Judge for yourself, what is the use of your imaginary revelation? And tell me, is it right and true? If it were right, it would bring you peace, but everything turns out to be the opposite, and you attribute the blame to others, and not to yourself. Are you afraid that I will forbid you to have anything to do with your mother..., not at all; I leave this to your will. Read another 51 words from St. Isaac the Syrian and you will see there that those who indulge in real sorrows, then when they recognize themselves as guilty and reproach themselves, they are soon freed from sorrows; and when they become bitter and blame others, their sorrows multiply and become even more aggravated. But you don’t have real sorrows, but those created by self-reflection; and you not only do not reproach yourself, but you blame others, and thereby bring upon yourself even more sorrow, despondency, melancholy and spiritual distress. May the Lord deliver you from all this by His mercy. Reproach yourself and humble yourself; sinful I.M. November 1, 1852. Venerable N.N. in the Lord! You inform about your life that you owe gratitude to your mother... for her care for your salvation and to your sisters; but you have the unceasing feat of struggle that lies within you. Yes, without this, it is impossible to be saved, so as not to have battles from the enemy: he has this constant battle with us, according to the word of Elder Onuphrius of Moldova, and fights us with our own passions, but we should not be horrified by this, but stand firm, trusting in God’s help and the prayers of our mother. St. John Climacus, in the 26th degree, writes: “an unslothful soul raises up demons to fight against itself; As the battles multiply, the crowns also multiply. He who is not harmed by adversaries will not receive any crown, and whoever does not lose heart from the occasional falls will be praised by the Angels as a brave warrior.” In these battles, humility, which comes from true obedience with self-sacrifice, helps a lot. “Humility is born from obedience,” writes the same Climacus; and St. Cassian, in a word to Abbot Leontin, writes that “reasoning comes from true humility, so that we not only do what we do, but also what we think we reveal to our fathers; and let us believe in nothing of our own thoughts, but let us follow the words of the elders in everything: and it is good to believe, even if they tempt you,” and read the rest yourself; on the contrary, whoever is driven by self-thinking, self-indulgence and contradiction does not see how we are deposed by the enemy, because these actions come from pride, and what harm comes from it, and on the contrary, from humility - benefit, read for yourself in the Ladder: about obedience, about pride and humility, and you will see clearly. The teachings of our fathers are then clearer to us when we practice them as much as possible, according to our strength. When someone has no fight against his enemies, then this is dangerous, for how can he recognize the passions hidden in him? How will he come to the knowledge of his weakness? And how to reconcile? He will only feed the inner Pharisee with his imaginary corrections, and will reach the disastrous state of delusion. From which may the Lord deliver you. You write that you are tormented by doubts about your attainment of a blessed eternity and a lack of trust in God’s mercy. This is the fruit of pride. You cannot contemplate God’s mercy and love for sinners, through whom He descended to earth, took on our flesh and suffered, and offered Himself as a sacrifice for sinners. He did not come to the righteous, but to call sinners to repentance (Matthew 9:13). We are sinners, let us arouse ourselves to repentance, humble ourselves and condemn ourselves, and He will justify us with His mercy, and there will be no place for despair. St. Isaac the Syrian consoles sinners and awakens them to hope for God’s mercy, in the 89th word: “Just as a grain of sand cannot be weighed with the weight of much gold, so the needs of God’s justice are not weighed with the likeness of His alms. Like a handful of sand falling into the great sea, so the sins of all flesh are directly similar to the mercy of God: and like the source that flows abundantly with a handful of dust is not blocked, so the alms of Sodetel is not overcome by the malice of creatures.” Read in St. The Gospel teaching of the Savior about the publican and the Pharisee (Luke 18:10–14), about the lost sheep (Luke 15:4), about the lost coin (15:9), about the prodigal son (Luke 15.) and about the harlot (John 8:3:11.), all this can awaken you to hope for God’s mercy, and even more so when you will humble yourself, and you will receive peace and tranquility, which I earnestly wish for you - much-sinned I.M. September 24, 1851. By your letter, dated September 21, you inform me of your disposition towards me in the Lord, although I am unworthy of this, I do not reject your faith; for it is not because of my worthiness, but because of your faith, that the Lord is able to admonish me for your benefit. Reading a brief description of the past time of your life, I see that the Lord, wanting your salvation, called you to join the ranks of the virgins working for Him. Thank His goodness and mercy towards you, and try to please Him by doing His commandments; but so that all of them are dissolved by humility, and without humility they cannot use them. The means you used to tame the flesh are not approved by prudent fathers. You should have the book “Enraptured Classes for the Food of the Soul”, read there from the Venerable Simeon of the Euchaite on page 212 about this, how he advises to avoid excellence and impoverishment and about iron-wearing... And about the means to conquer the flesh, read from St. John Climacus, at the end of the 15th step: “the knowledge of her weakness binds her hands, abstinence binds her feet, obedience frees her from it, and humility cuts off her head.” The late Fr. Leonidas removed them from many who wore iron, because they do not bring any benefit, but only increase vanity, and leave other passions unhealed, and cannot bear the words of a reproachful person. And my advice to you is to leave this; We should not be body killers, but passion killers, teaches St. John Climacus. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (Ps. 50:19). Regarding correspondence with N.N., I cannot forbid you, but I suggest you see if there is any benefit from it, and do what is appropriate. I ask you not to forget me in your prayers, and I wish you peace, health and salvation, I remain the great sinner I.M. October 6, 1851. You write, N N, that you live poorly and have no revelation to the old woman. That is why the enemy stumbles you, in order to lead you according to his evil will. That is why you are greatly overwhelmed by passions and are overcome by them. And the fact that you receive N.N. into your cell means great harm to you, although you do not recognize it, but over time you may be exposed to greater trouble. Now your heart is chained by passion, and you have thoughts and cannot pray purely. We must remember why we came to the monastery. Hay with fire cannot be whole, and also if you pour oil on the fire, it will ignite more. Meanwhile, it is a temptation for the sisters and those living with you and those in the monastery. I advise you to leave your acquaintance, and not to feed your passion, but to confess everything to your spiritual mother and spiritual father, from whom you will receive permission. - I remain the wisher for your salvation I.M. January 5, 1852 With all your mothers and sisters in the Lord, I wish you to rejoice in the Lord. You write about the grief that befell you through the death of your most venerable brother, father and trustee N.N. You increase it in yourself by imagining approaching old age, depletion of strength and dulling of vision. I wrote to you, and as much as I could offer a word as a consolation from my meager mind, but what does it mean without the supernal covering of grace? I believe that the Lord is able to comfort you with His spiritual consolation, so long as your faith does not fail. He provides for everyone and feeds the entire universe; will you be the only ones excluded from the circle of His fatherly providence? Instill in your hearts faith and hope in His merciful providence and seek the Kingdom of God through the fulfillment of St. His commandments, and all these will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). When your brother was in this world, the Lord through him sent you what you needed to live, but he could turn his heart away from you, but now he will send you from another source, to your food. He knows that we require food and clothing, and He supplies it, He is inexhaustible. Be trustworthy in the mercy of God, do not lose heart, do not lose heart. God can make everything possible out of the impossible. We pray to the Lord for your brother, may the Lord rest his soul in the Kingdom of Heaven. Again, I will repeat: may the Lord give you spiritual and physical consolation, and I remain a great sinner I.M. October 6, 1851. As for the monastic path, no one should doubt that it is true, according to the establishment and tradition of St. our fathers and teachers, who passed the path of this life through their skill, and left us an invaluable treasure of their teachings and examples. And we must give silent thanks to the merciful Lord for this mercy and calling us to this field. But there are many and different degrees in this dispensation, just as we see in ancient times. There were great ascetics who achieved perfection; We see, to a lesser extent, approaching it, and some for tormenting enterprises of passions, and have not achieved dispassion, but have not lost the hope of salvation. There were also the weak and infirm, but repentance was not forbidden to everyone, and we do not know what kind of judgment the Lord determined on whom! But all of them, even those who achieved perfection, had great and deep humility, without which all our deeds and exploits are unfavorable to God. Looking at the present times, and at the impoverishment of the workers and mentors of this life, one cannot help but grieve that those who embark on this path, although with jealousy, but walking arbitrarily, fall into two extremes: either, having risen high, they are deceived by opinion, or they are brought down by the weakness of life. But one cannot despair or condemn this path, seeing the weakening and infirmities multiplying, and the retreat from high ascetic deeds and those deprived of spiritual gifts. Delving into the teachings of our fathers thoughtfully and humbly, we can recognize that even now there can be, and are true, those who, following the instructions of our holy fathers and teachers, follow the right, humble path; how the Lord revealed to Pachomius the Great that in the last times there will be those who are saved in monasticism. And St. Niphon of Constantinople, in response to his brother’s question: “Are the saints now multiplied throughout the world the same as at the end of this age?” – Answer: “Child, even until the end of the age the prophet of the Lord God will not fail; Thus, a servant lower than Satan, especially in the last days, the people will truly work for God, hide themselves safely from people, and will not perform signs and wonders in them, as in these days; but they will walk the practical and dissolved path with humility, and more of the standard-bearing fathers will find themselves in the Kingdom of God.” Blessed Basil the Elder, in the superscript to the book of the Venerable Nil of Sorsky, writes on page XLVII: “St. Justin: “Heavenly grace reaches everyone, but not in equal measure; The Lord wants to save everyone, but not to consecrate them. Otherwise, from here, do not imagine that you are disadvantaged, for you cannot live in your flesh like the saints, acutely and dynamically; You, too, will be able to complete this with warm desire and diligent inner work with humility, and thereby please God. Porphyry-bearing bo “The Prophet did not say: alkah, or bdekh, or lay on the earth; But I humbled myself and the Lord quickly saved me” (Ps. 114:5). And St. Isaac the Syrian, in the 46th word, writes: “Humility, and besides deeds, forgives many sins; This, on the contrary, is useless without it, but also does a lot of evil to us. And if we acquire this (humility), “he makes us sons of God, and besides good deeds, he presents us to God. Without him, all our deeds are vanity, both all our virtues and all our deeds. And in the 55th word: “Whoever does not imagine being a sinner, his prayer is not favorable.” Another teaching of St. I will say John Climacus, in the 25th word, section 63. “Let us sweat and strive with all our strength to ascend to the height of this virtue (humility); if we can’t walk, we struggle so that she can lift us on her shoulders; if we are weak in some way, we will not fall away, at least from his embrace. For it would be a miracle if he who fell away from him received some eternal gift.” There is also a lot of paternal evidence that in all our deeds we must certainly have humility, even love itself cannot be valid without it. You write about one person who, having lived in the monastery for four years, was languishing in spirit without joy, and after reading all the books, she reached such a state that she no longer wants to read, because they do not do it as it is written and as they should. This is not surprising, because she seemed to read only the letter, without penetrating into the spirit of the scripture and the intentions of her father - she did not comprehend in it the humble path and feeling that would give her spiritual joy, and with the excitement of stormy thoughts that arose, but directly fixed the gaze of her mind on the contempt and contempt of her neighbors. I don’t dare judge her, but I discuss her misfortune with regret. Having sought salvation, according to the teachings of the fathers, each of us must cleanse our hearts from passions and their actions, and not look at others who are doing the wrong thing. It is said: the good eye will not see evil (Hab. 1:13). And St. Isaac the Syrian in the 21st word, in response to the question: “How can you lead someone to achieve purity of heart?” He answers: “Ashe sees all good people,” and so on. And even if we received insults, annoyances, and reproaches from them, we should accept everything, as if sent to us from God, for our trial and correction, and consider them (people) to be an instrument of God, and in failure to bear not condemn them, but reproach ourselves. The paternal writings teach us all this, which we cannot learn from just reading, unless we force ourselves to practice patience and humility and achieve love. We cannot fix all this as a whole, but each of us is obliged to start correcting ourselves; and let these units be from the whole, and without them the whole cannot be formed; when there are more of them, the whole will be formed; but still, we, who are seeking salvation, must begin from ourselves first, and not from our neighbors, torturing deeds. It is fitting to create first, and then teach (Acts 1:1). From this above you can see that peace is gained not so much from deeds as from humility (I do not dismiss deeds, they are needed), just as the Lord teaches us: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). And St. Isaac, at the beginning of 34 words, writes: “If you do virtue for good, and do not feel the temptation of its intercession, do not be surprised, until a person does not humble himself, does not accept the reward of his doing. Reward is not given to doing, but to humility. Offend the second, and destroy the first.” I wrote this both for myself, and when you want to accept it, and for your benefit, although you yourself know all this, but in fact we both make mistakes. And I wish salvation to everyone, and especially to those who seek it, but due to the weakness of my strength and weakness of vision, I can hardly answer my current considerable correspondence; and you still invite others to treat me: I ask you to free me from this. There are people who are educated, enlightened by grace, and worthy; They can only ask them with faith, and receive benefit, but I don’t have much time, and I’m afraid of condemnation for my unworthiness, and because I speak in words, but in practice I sin. Due to the impoverishment of teachers and mentors in modern times, our mentors are sorrows, according to the word of St. Peter of Damascus: “Humility is a product of reason, and reason is a product of sorrows and temptations.” This is what happened to N.N! A sad incident turned her to you. May God grant that she recognizes her false opinion that the true path cannot be found in any monastery, but accepts the word of St. fathers: “If a monk humbles himself, he will find peace in every place.” – I wish you to be healthy and find peace and salvation, and I ask for prayers for me, a sinner I.M. November 3, 1851. Thank you for congratulating me on the holiday of Christmas, and I congratulate you on the upcoming New Year and the approaching day of your angel, I wish you to spend the year in renewal of the spirit by fulfilling the commandments of God, preserving our way of life according to the tradition and teaching of St. fathers, and celebrate the day of your angel with heartfelt joy in good health. From your letter I see that you live, grieve, and complain? the more you increase your sorrows. It is impossible not to have sorrow, for in a sorrowless life we ​​will forget ourselves and fall into many different passions. Apostle St. writes: everyone grieves, but does not suffer from cold (2 Cor. 4:8), that is, do not be faint-hearted, do not grumble, but you must also thank God for sending them; for without His beck not a single sorrow can happen. How will you learn patience when you have no sorrow? The Lord sends sorrow out of love, for the Lord loves him, punishes him, beats every son, and accepts him. (Heb.12:6). He who rejects sorrow rejects his salvation. This can also be called madness - repentance for why I went to the monastery. By doing this you undermine all your peace and anger God. Do you know what would happen to you in the world? Perhaps what would happen is that I would not be happy with life. But a picture of worldly life is drawn to you with living and bright colors; but I see, on the contrary, that many are drinking the bitter cup of sorrows, having been surrounded by heavy shackles and the leaden yoke of vanity. I am surprised at you that you do not thank God, who called you to take on His light burden and His good yoke, and instead, by grumbling, you make the burden and yoke heavy and ungood for yourself. You also ask that the five hundred rule be removed from you, because you cannot fulfill it due to your weakness; Is it a rule that I have laid down? It was installed by St. fathers, how can I take it off you? But you, measuring your strength, fulfill it as much as you can, and in the lack or failure to fulfill it, humble yourself. Humility and heart disease replace our deeds: and pay more attention to inner deeds, reflect the incoming thoughts of various passions, about which St. Nilus of Sora writes (Sk. 5, 6, etc.). Read spiritual books, and your heart will warm to the love of monastic life. Read the word of John of Carpathia in part 4 of the Philokalia, how he consoles the monks in their sorrows and prefers our life to worldly life. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, much sinner I.M. January 5, 1852. I received two of your letters. In the first you write about your passionate infirmities, and in the second about insults and oppression to you in your cell and from N.N. To which I will tell you that the cause of the latter is the first (i.e. passions), and the latter is your pride. When we have a proud disposition, the opinion and contempt of others about ourselves, we are allowed to fall into dishonorable passions; and for them, as punishment, and from people the punishment is suffering. For this you should not grieve or blame them, but consider yourself worthy of it, and consider them an instrument of God, punishing you. When you blame yourself like this, you will diminish your passions, and your sorrows will be diminished through humility, which God has looked upon you; and if you grumble and blame others, then both will increase more. Pride must be contrasted with humility. I advise you to humble yourself and pay attention to your salvation, then you will receive peace from both passions and sorrows; what I earnestly wish for you, sinful I.M. January 5, 1852. I received your letter dated December 22 and, along with it, your confession. I do not reject your consciousness and sympathize with you about your weaknesses, and of course, through such consciousness, according to your faith, you will receive peace; but I do not have the right to authorize it in writing, in absentia, or in another diocese; There are church rules for that. What does it matter to you that your confessor, not understanding spiritual life, scolds you; you come with repentance to the Lord himself, and it must be humble; then in such a state one must accept reproach: apparently the Lord allows it. Where can we get confessors according to our right? But whatever they are, they are entrusted with the keys to knit and solve, and to be ministers of other sacraments. You write that you have lost your boldness towards the mercy of your Creator. Did you have it? How dare we think that we have confidence in the Lord? We must fall not with boldness, but with humble hope in the mercy of the Lord. In the hope of this, we bring repentance, and the confessor makes permission. Each of us is faced with a battle with invisible enemies who beset us with our passions. Moreover, they have the power to overcome the proud and proud, and they themselves will overcome the humble. Look at what is in your structure, whether there is any self-love and pride: then, even with your good will, from that evil root evil branches grow, bearing evil fruits, and suppressing your good will. Give you a detailed remedy for every attempt you make, and for everything that is supportive 6 and counteracts pride. Try to acquire self-reproach and humility in everything, then you will have attention and guard over your heart movements. Always humbly tell your infirmities before your mother N and apply treatments for your ulcers, reproaches and annoyances from her, or from anyone else, that can heal you; and do not turn your sensual or intellectual eye to the weakness and passions of others, but always remember the prayer: “Lord! grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother.” And know that it is better to struggle with your weaknesses than with pride. It’s in vain that we blame and humble ourselves for our infirmities, and when we judge others, we become proud. You mentioned the pitiful situation of N.N., why is this? She does not have gross infirmities, but something higher. Pay attention to the fact that each of us needs to humble ourselves, for humility is an impregnable stronghold for clever thieves. I wish you peace, health and salvation, great sinner I.M. January 5, 1852. You have now experienced that the rejection of your will and reason brings spiritual benefits, which I see from your letter of August 10. Glory to God that you received the desire and love to live in your monastery and peace, through which you must know that the Lord has shown you the path and field in which you must undergo the feat of your residence. It is impossible that subsequently there will be no temptations that shake you to the knowledge of your structure and your weakness; and also the struggle with passions is necessary: ​​for the darkness and darkness of passions darkens our spiritual eyes, so as not to see the Sun of truth, Jesus; and by doing the commandments of God, which the passions resist (hence, the help of God is needed), this darkness is cleared; and through humility we clearly see that until we achieve unfallen love, also strengthened by humility. Let us consider everyone the best of us, and this will not harm us. Purity of heart is then recognized in us when we see everyone as saints, writes St. Isaac the Syrian. So, finally, the fate of your monastery must be decided by the election of your mother. May the Lord give you a mother who cares for her children, not only physically, but also spiritually nourishing. I don’t know K.V. and have even heard little about her, but apparently she is worthy of this election when the Holy Spirit delivers her to you without patronage or searching. The Lord is able to relieve her of the burdens that may arise in shepherding the flock of Christ and in taking care of monastic affairs. May the Lord give you peace and health. Pray for me, a sinner I.M. August 19, 1852. Yesterday I received both your letters dated September 17 and 22; I hasten to answer you with the first mail, and I will not expand widely; suffice it to say that here is God’s calling of you to the position of treasurer. If you sought and solicited yourself, it would be disgusting, but you didn’t have it, but you had fears, apprehensions and apprehensions. But how can that be? A God-gathered society requires nourishment, charity and, in many ways, correction. The most merciful Lord, providing for His verbal flock and having concern for its salvation, through your archpastor and merciful father and ruler, compassionate, paining for his children, chose M.S. for this difficult task, completely against her will and intentions; Judge, what is her position? But there is hope for God’s help in necessary and difficult and perplexing cases - He will enlighten and help. She also has a need for human cooperation, to which God told her to choose you; I know that this matter is difficult and distracted, but it is clear, according to God’s vision, that it is necessary for you, that is, for your salvation. Until now, you were in peace in body, but you did not receive spiritual peace, because you did not conquer passions, which did not have the opportunity to fight with them; and although there were cases, she avoided them by will and gave in; now the door of a field of work is opening for you, in which there is nowhere to evade and you will involuntarily have to endure. When you have self-reproach, you will easily bear this burden. There is a time for every thing (Ecl. 3:1), there was a time to learn theory, and now the time is coming to do and implement what you have been studying for so many years. If you deviate, you would not give an answer, like a lazy slave who hid his talent. St. Gregory the Theologian teaches that everyone should not rush into authority and should not evade them; neither of them is praised. And if everyone refuses to be in charge, then the hierarchical order will be completely abolished; those whom the grace of God chooses, under the guise of humility, turn away, and seekers rise in their place. You are afraid of your passions: pride and arrogance; Are they healed by silence? Do you know that St. John Climacus below allows the trace of seeing silence to be so. When you go through the hearing with reason and seek not only your own benefit, but also that of your neighbors, so that they may be saved, then in this case you must endure reproaches and annoyances, not avenging them, but recognizing your weakness, reproaching yourself, how can your passions be healed, according to the word of St. Isaac the Syrian: “Receive this bitterness with joy, so that you may suffer a little and then enjoy it (word 20.). You write that at that time you were busy with books and so on, “forgetting that there are people”; but do not imagine that this silence of yours was trustworthy, but preceded real excitement. After all, even the sea during silence foreshadows a storm and excitement, and your silence could not be strong, hidden by the passions that were inside you and not defeated, St. Isaac the Syrian writes in 78 ff. even about those who have found peace with fear: “When you have found peace on your unchanging path, then you will be afraid that you will be too far from the right path walked by the suffering feet of the saints.” So, apparently God’s providence shows you the way in which you would labor to pluck thorns from your heart, in association with others, which can be accomplished with the help of God, and the common good will be observed. When going through your obedience, keep in mind the commandments of God - about love and humility, and if you fall in this battle, you will not be broken, but having recognized your weakness, you will humble yourself, and you will see how the Lord strengthens you (Ps. 36:24). – I wanted to write briefly, but I don’t know how it came out of my pen, and I wrote a whole sheet of paper. May the Lord bless you, enlighten you, help you, and strengthen you in the work of obedience, serving the salvation of you and your neighbors; I ask you to pray for me, a great sinner, I. M. September 1852. 7 Most Honorable N.N. in the Lord! Thank the Lord that you have received bodily relief and are now taking up choir obedience. May the Lord grant you spiritual health. I see from your letter that you are mentally ill; You do not well accept the healings sent to you from God - annoyances and insults in the choir (I say healing, because through them our passionate part is healed, and through patience we achieve love). And without that (i.e. insults) you would not only not have been healed, but you would never have known the passions hidden in you; Having known them, take care of healing. You cannot complacently bear reproaches, annoyances and humiliations - recognize your weakness in this, reproach yourself and humble yourself and do not at all reproach those who provide you with an opportunity for healing, moreover, consider them your benefactors, who, by the sight of God, show you your weakness. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself endured reproaches, annoyances, insults and the cross, and He left us an image, so that we may follow His footsteps. And all who walked the path of righteousness suffered various tribulations and received salvation. We are passionate, if we suffer any sorrow from collisions with our neighbors, then we suffer from our pitiful dispensation, which cannot be healed otherwise than through patience with annoyance, reproaches and humiliation, and if we do not tolerate them, we must see our spiritual poverty and destitution, and how far we are from the love commanded to us by the Lord, not only for our enemies, but also for our neighbors; and this should lead us into the depths of humility, which the Lord looks upon and will give His help in doing good deeds, and without it, good deeds cannot be pleasing to God. Read in the books of the fathers how we need sorrows to subdue passions and to acquire a good dispensation. At St. John Climacus read the first four degrees; St. Abba Dorotheus: “about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor”, in the Delighted Classes: “Council of the mind to your soul”, Conversations of St. Zosima, and others, teaching patience, love and humility. You ask me, when you are tonsured, what rule should you follow? I cannot assign this to you; it is necessary to take into account local custom, obedience and strength; But I’ll just say that we need to rely on more than one rule, and rely on that for our salvation. Without love it will not help us, as St. The Apostle and, counting all the virtues, he says: “If... love is not imam, like a ringing brass, or a clanging cymbal (1 Cor. 13:1), but love is acquired by the feat of patience, as I wrote to you above. The rule should and must be corrected by us, for with prayers we must ask for God’s help in matters of our salvation, and by abandoning the rules, passionate and evil thoughts enter into us; but their correction should not be considered something great, for the Lord will accept the prayer of the humble and will not despise their prayers (Ps. 101:18). May the Lord give you true understanding in all your affairs. I wish you peace, health and salvation and I remain a great sinner I.M. November 18, 1852. It is in vain that you are upset that I did not assign rules to you; and again you tell me the same thing. I wrote to you that I cannot impose force on anyone, 8 but, according to the strength of each, we must follow our rules and the order of the monastery. But the main thing to have in the subject is to fulfill the rule with humility, and not think about yourself that - “I fulfill the rule - and that is enough for me.” I wrote to you that although you will correct the rule, but will not force yourself to patience, humility and love, obedience and other virtues, then rules alone will not bring you any benefit. This is why they rule, so that when we do them, we have less idleness and inclination toward sins and pray in order to correct our lives according to the commandments of God, for without love and humility, none of our deeds and deeds are pleasing to God. Condescending to your concern, I advise you, in addition to the church rule, to read one kathisma in your cell, and if you were not in church for the rule of canons and akathist, then you can read them, which according to the order of your monastery are read in church; the five hundred rosary rule, which you heard from us, two chapters from the Apostle and one chapter from the Gospel, and go through all of it without exaltation or opinion, but with a contrite and humble heart. Use other free time to read fatherly books and do handicrafts. And being in communication with your neighbors, you can recognize the effect of your passions, resist them and, recognizing your weakness, humble yourself. You write that choir obedience damages your morality; you talk and laugh there, but before you were better, as others testify about you. I do not approve of your current actions, but you cannot rely on your previous imaginary corrections; maybe you yourself were carried away by these opinions about yourself, whereas you should consider yourself the last of all, and therefore you may be allowed to suffer from the inclination of tongue and laughter: here you involuntarily must consider yourself the last of all and the most sinful of all, and accept annoyance, reproach and ridicule, as a debtor of them, and in failure to bear, reproach yourself even more and humble yourself, then the Lord will invisibly look upon on your humility and will give you reason and help in passing obedience. To abandon this obedience and ask for something else—wouldn’t this be self-inflicted? You wrote that for refusing that obedience you got into trouble from the abbess, but now you can’t avoid it any more. So, you still need to remain in this obedience, keeping yourself as much as possible from talking and laughing, and listening to singing and reading with the fear of God: and in time, realizing your weakness and inability to obey, you can ask the abbess for dismissal from it. But I don’t know what kind of obedience they will give you, only you must have the fear of God and attention in everyone, but you will never escape sorrows; for they are the products of our own passions, to expose them, so that we, with the help of God, take care of their healing. I congratulate you on the upcoming holiday of the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ. May God's peace and blessing be with you. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. December 16, 1852. Most reverent of the Lord N! You write about your weaknesses and sorrows, and ask me for consolation. How can I console you? God is our refuge and strength, our helper in the sorrows that have come upon us greatly (Ps. 45:2). Do you believe that without Him nothing can happen to us, and that He provides for every creature of His, will He not provide for you? But apparently He wants to test your patience, and for this reason He allowed you to suffer - for the salvation of your soul. After all, through many tribulations it is fitting for us to enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22). Be sure that God does not send us temptations beyond measure, but perhaps (only) for pride, for conceit and for murmuring, with which we aggravate our own sorrows. Beware of murmuring and cowardice: generosity and patience ease sorrows, but cowardice and murmuring multiply and burden them. Read from St. Isaac the Syrian words: 34, 35, 36, 37, 51 and 79. May the Lord give you strength and consolation in your sorrows, I earnestly wish for this, great sinner I.M. October 20, 1852. You write to me that in one battle against the monastery, you received peace, but the other (carnal) rebelled more fiercely; and you say that you have no weapon with which to resist it, you can neither fast, nor humble yourself, nor pray. So what should we do? And it’s just as dangerous to be without fighting until we reconcile ourselves; take away the abuse, and you fall into pride, which, more than all sins, can destroy a person. Read from St. John Climacus, to the extent of reasoning that sometimes all vices leave us, leaving only one - pride, which alone can destroy the soul. And therefore, seeing the struggle in oneself, one must strive and involuntarily humble oneself in victory; repent, not be embarrassed. To the same extent, there is: “as battles multiply, crowns also multiply: he who is not wounded by adversaries will not receive any crown, and whoever does not lose heart (does not become faint-hearted) due to the falls that occur will be praised by the Angels as a brave warrior. At St. Isaac the Syrian, in the 78th word it is written: “when you have found unchanging peace, then fear” and so on. Yes, read from St. John Climacus, end of the 13th degree; and strengthen yourself as much as possible in battles and humble yourself. It’s good that you realized that the peace that you relied on in the world is fragile and unreliable. And at the same time, know that, living in a monastery, you are in the field of battle, like a spiritual warrior, and you accept wounds and are awarded crowns; and when you leave this field, you no longer have a fight, and you imagine you have peace, but it is false, for it can soon turn into a fierce storm. So, thank God, who called you on this path and taught you in battle. I also forgot to tell you: read chapters 10 and 18 of John of Carpathia, and chapter 99 of Diadochos, they will serve to strengthen you. I ask you to pray for me, a sinner I.M. July 7, 1851. Having come to your senses about your non-corrections, you write that you want to make a start for correction, but you don’t know how to do it? You ask me; but in vain you exalt me ​​so much, as if I were so great that I could reason with and nourish 9 others. But I, looking at myself and seeing my complete poverty, grieve over this, that even with it I do not cease with my vain tongue and pen to offer people what I myself am far from standing for, and I am horrified that all of this will appear to me at the trial. But, fearing this, I am also afraid to remain silent, in the hope that the Lord himself, through the faith of those asking, will enlighten my badness and give a voice, like a dumb donkey (Num. 22:28) for the benefit of those asking, and I myself am perplexed as to what to do? Will not the Lord show mercy to me too, for the sake of those who took advantage of me, using what I myself was in as a small and worst instrument in the hands of His merciful providence for the salvation of His people. And so, in this hope, not from my works, but according to your faith, I stretch out my sinful hand to the insensible charter, and I write to you: with your good feeling, your good desire, leaving the path of self-indulgence, and especially the second type of prayer 10, to follow the path of humble obedience, which leads to it. I cannot tell you anything from my deeds, but from the teachings of St. I will show you few fathers; and you yourself make up for it by reading, paying attention and trying to fulfill it. While I was with you, I showed you in the book of the life of St. Paisiya, on page 172: “Whenever two people dream of living communally,” and so on. Follow this rule in your private life so that peace is not disturbed between you; and then in the life of the elder, read from sheets 52 to 61 the elder’s instructions on how brothers can go through life with self-sacrifice of their will and mind, humility, patience with reproaches, annoyances and reproaches, and whatever our great life may be, if we do not have a sick heart, it is nothing before God. – Read books: St. John Climacus, St. Abba Dorotheus, St. Ephraim, Nile of Sora, in the Philokalia there are more active chapters; and learn that all our actions consist in fulfilling the commandments of God; and how far we are from them, this should humble us. By doing the commandments we are cleansed of passions; and after being cleansed from them, the grace of God itself writes its laws on our hearts and fulfills spiritual gifts. But woe to us when we consider ourselves worthy and look for them in ourselves, or see our exploits and virtues; The grace of God often does not give us these gifts for our own benefit - let us not become arrogant, for “not everyone can preserve this wealth (gift) without harm,” writes St. Isaac the Syrian; in every deed, word and thought, keep humility in mind, then you will not be robbed by enemy decoys; for these enemies wage a constant war against us, and without humility they can overthrow us. I’ll write you a few lines from the book of John Climacus about humility: “the sun illuminates all visible creatures, and humility affirms all reasonable actions. Where there is no light, everything we have is unclean and vain. If we want to comprehend ourselves, let us not stop testing and torturing ourselves, and if in the true feeling of our soul we think that each of our neighbors is superior to us, then God’s mercy is not far from us. Many call themselves sinners, and perhaps they really think so about themselves, but the heart is tempted by humiliation (from others).” Word 25 (vv. 17, 32, 34). I presented to you briefly what I found necessary for your maintenance, and fill in the rest yourself; just don’t soar high in your thoughts, don’t look at your virtues, but look at your sins, and God will not leave you, and will strengthen you in your good intentions; Do not grieve because you do not have an old woman with whom you could be in perfect obedience; what should you do in this poverty? Follow the middle path, which is shown above, living together and, while rejecting your will and reason, you will fulfill that path too. The two evil customs you write about are not as important as you think; the latter serves to strengthen, and the former to preserve the peace of the cell. Reckless and irrational silence is worse than talking a lot, and peaceful or small strengthening will not bring any harm; and will also humble and give strength to the creation of exploits and works. But immensity in both will bring very great harm. Giving secretly from the sister to those in need cannot alleviate reproaches of conscience, but will even aggravate it. It is better to give or refuse with consent than to avoid deceit and secret opinions about your imaginary virtue. Make a brief outline of your whole life, if you find it necessary to calm your conscience, I do not deny this; - but be at your will. May peace remain between you, which will assist you on the path of salvation, which the malicious enemy resists a lot; but by self-reproach, humility and awareness of each other it is abolished; what I fervently wish for you, sinful I.M. October 4, 1850. I’ll tell you briefly: don’t get carried away with spiritual pleasures. When the Lord visits, give thanks; will take it away - also give thanks, and do not be faint-hearted, but humble yourself and consider yourself unworthy of spiritual consolation, and in the event of this, be afraid of deception and as if you do not accept it according to your dignity. – The enemy’s networks are subtle and difficult to comprehend; only humility avoids them. THEM. January 20, 1853. I received your two letters dated January 13th and February 18th; in the first, briefly describing the moral devastation in the monastery, you express your grief, and that you must turn a blind eye to all circumstances; and in the second you write that the duty entrusted to you does not allow you to turn a blind eye, but is strictly prescribed to monitor the morality of the monastics and all others living in your monastery. You have been appointed to the position of treasurer, and this unexpected circumstance greatly surprised you. Of course, this was done on the recommendation of Mother Superior: apparently she hopes to see in you a good assistant in overseeing the morality of the sisters; and you must justify it in practice, with your good will. But we must remember that the Lord commanded: “Whoever wills to be in you, let him be the last of all and the servant of all” (Matthew 20:26; Mark 9:35) and in another place there is the word of Scripture: as much as you are great, humble yourself. (Sir.3:18); and do not use your power as food for ambition, do not become exalted. It is necessary to encounter sorrows along this path, but for the love of your neighbors and their benefit, determine yourself to be patient, as you write, with selflessness; and try to take revenge on those who hate you with love and humility, and defeat them with them. In other respects, wanting to correct the damage in the autocratic machine, one should not suddenly and abruptly tighten, but gradually instill what is due; and only to stop any rude and stupid actions, and then not with one’s own autocracy, but with the will of the Mother Superior. You will gain more by forbearance towards weaknesses and love than by severity; and in all this ask for God’s help, for the Lord said, without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5); and since your elevation happened without your seeking and desire, but unexpectedly, then God’s help is nearby. St. wrote about those who seek out a terrible word. Nikita Stifat in the 2nd centenary, in chapter 58, from which may the Lord deliver us all. I also remind you: do not let your heart be lifted up about the preference of you by the elders and monastery nuns. Sing the church hymn: “Let the humble heart be covered with Thy fear, so that the one who is not exalted may fall from Thee, the All-Bountiful One.” I turn my word to you, mother N. In your letter you showed your readiness to be useful in difficult obedience to M.K. Yes, this is also your duty - to help her, having lived with her for so long; help with consolations in sorrows and failures, offer patience, etc., and make her difficult path easier. However, I noticed that some exaltation appeared in you, that by your admonition the sisters from those indignant towards M.K. became Angels; and again, that you want the good to overcome the evil. Oh! this requires experience; and, at the same time, self-awareness of his weakness. May the Lord help you both to follow the path of the Lord’s commandments. Get salvation and be useful to society. As for the mantle, leave it to the will of God. The mantle is not exaltation, but also an image of humility; in this position she will be, the yoke is good and the burden is light; and in the first i.e. exaltation, the path is narrow and regrettable. The blessing you requested, if received in the mail in a letter, I am sending you a small icon of the Kazan Mother of God; May Her intercession be your protection and hope for salvation. You write that you want to call N. to come to you from K-a, hoping to have help from her in the cell. I don’t forbid you, but I don’t know if she can be useful to you: she tasted a completely different way of life there - free and of her own free will - she is unlikely to agree to come to you; three years ago she was with us, sent for collection, then I could hardly recognize her. May the Lord send you a good sister after your heart who wants to be saved. As for your salvation through return... leave it to the will of God, and submit to His providence; maybe this won't happen. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the wisher of your health and salvation, the many-sinful I.M. Most honorable one of the Lord! From your letter to N.N I see your grief and embarrassment about N’s unworldliness towards you, because you go to the sisters. What can I tell you about this? Can I force you to live with N against your will, and always being in an unpeaceful and confused spirit - you are a burden to each other. What to do when your consent has not been resolved within 4 years. The sisters served as a stone of temptation and stumbling to this, but not from an evil intention to separate you; they tried even more to strengthen you to strengthen your union in the Lord; but the enemy presents N things in a different form and brings her to confusion; and therefore there is nothing to do, apparently you need to recognize your weakness and part with N., but not give up having a feeling of gratitude towards her. I know that she loves you, but the strength of the passion of self-love, which she has not defeated, confuses and worries her. Having prayed to the Lord and the Mother of God, surrender to His will, go to Mother Superior, explain in detail the inconvenience of your purchased life and that, as I can see, you both have become burdened by each other, and ask for blessings to move from her to the sisters. And with true self-condemnation and self-reproach, recognizing your weakness and guilt, sincerely ask N. for forgiveness and go to the sisters. In your new home, do not think of being idle from spiritual warfare. You should not at all prefer one of the sisters to the other as the best, but have them as equal benefactors to you. When you do not resist the fights and talk about them to both of them, you will only change the way of the fight and you will be prompted and confused. And with the awareness of your weaknesses and disbelief in your thoughts and battles, you will find relief and receive peace. And again, do not think of equating yourself with them, but consider yourself the last of them and do not dare to demand from them what they do not reveal to you; Apparently this is so necessary and concerns only them, and not you. Try in all cases to have humility, then you will not move forward; and when you see any kind of abuse overcoming you, then know that it was preceded by pride, and rather resort to heartfelt self-reproach and the word: forgive. I pray to the most merciful Lord, may He establish your life in the world and bless harmony in the Lord, and may He send His blessing upon you. Mnogohreshny I.M. March 10, 1853. After your letter sent to me on February 5th, I think you are worried, not receiving my answer for a long time, for you wrote with faith and very frankly. I could not answer you soon because of my many occupations, my weaknesses, and perhaps because of laziness, for which I ask you not to grieve me. I accept your frankness with heartfelt sympathy and, as a consolation, I give you advice not to be embarrassed about your past weaknesses and hobbies, but to bring heartfelt repentance before the Lord with contrition and humility and hope for mercy and forgiveness from Him who wants us all to be saved and to come to the understanding of truth (1 Tim. 2:4). Remembering the sins of your youth and ignorance, try to have humility, consider yourself the last and worst of all. This will serve you to appease the Master, like the publican and the prodigal son who humbled themselves, and you will receive help from God to resist all the snares and flaming arrows of the enemy. Humility will strengthen you on the path of virtues and give you strength to endure the sorrows that are usually presented to those who seek God and want to be saved; and without this it is impossible to know oneself and one’s weaknesses, to come to the mind of truth and humble oneself. Read your father’s books and don’t trust your mind, don’t follow your will, and you will see spiritual benefits. Otherwise, it’s very easy to get carried away in passions of various kinds, to darken your mind and fall into mental relaxation. Beware of what you write about that previously embarrassed you; curb sight, hearing and speaking with the fear of God - these are the doors of the passions through which sin enters our hearts. Having described your attempts and declared my thinness, be calm. God will listen to the voice of your conscience and have mercy on you; May we continue to maintain peace and tranquility. I am sure that you have already confessed all this to your spiritual father. I ask God’s blessing for you and remain the desire for your salvation, many-sinful I.M. February 28, 1853. Most Honorable N N of the Lord! I wrote to you, most honorable N, on the 2nd of January, and received a letter from you at 7 o’clock; thank you for your congratulations. I am not looking, whether sooner or later, but even without that I am confident in your and your sisters’ disposition towards me in the Lord, although I am far from worthy of it. I take part in your sorrows that surround you everywhere and sympathize with you, but I cannot give you help or save you from them. God, the most merciful and All-wise, who loves you, knows your sorrows, for they happen only by His sight and permission, and takes pity on you and strengthens you in them; Otherwise, could you bear the greenness and weight of sorrows? He could have freed you from them, but apparently they are required by the good of your soul. St. Isaac the Syrian writes that “from this it is known that man is provided by God, when (God) sends him sorrow.” (Sl. 35). Read from St. Isaac sl. 34. 35, 36, 37. 51 at St. Mark the Ascetic in the Philokalia, many chapters and St. Abba Dorotheus's teaching: "about enduring temptations." In these medicines you will find for yourself not only reinforcement, but also consolation. Due to the multitude of my illnesses, Your consolation has made my soul glad (Ps. 93:19) sings St. David, the king's prophet. Just beware of cowardice and murmuring. Both you and I do not desire your abbess, but we do not know the destinies of God. And is it easy for the bosses? Now you are experiencing this yourself: when you were just a treasurer, there were sorrows of a different kind, but almost without responsibility; and now, and even more so with your superiors, you can be held accountable. Ask God to deliver you from this, but surrender to His holy will. You should feel sorry for those who inform on you, for they do not know what they are doing. They consider it heresy that you read the books of your fathers. Is this heresy? You want to be saved; and in the teachings of St. fathers, look for ways of salvation. God sees the ego and will not allow temptations beyond measure. His will be done! I remain, wishing you all peace, health and salvation. Mnogohreshny I. M. The silence of the sea sometimes foreshadows its strong excitement, and after calm and pleasant weather one must expect storms, rain, thunder and lightning; and vice versa. This also happens in our mental structure, and we often experience it ourselves; what happened to you: you were peaceful, calm, and engaged in spiritual reading, etc., but the grace of God prepared for you a test and exposure of your dispensation. Reading your father's books, you nourished your soul and mind theoretically and were calm; but this calmness was unreliable, not from the outside, but from the inside of the passions lying within you: pride and so on. Reproof came and you were confused. From what? Obviously because no one has touched you before. Move from theory to practice and learn how to act when passions are disturbed and how to acquire patience. And what must we endure? either when we are reviled and reproached through our fault, or when we are innocently reviled and humiliated? It seems that this is what patience consists of, when we suffer innocently. Yes, and God knows this, but sends it; I have no doubt that you believe this. Again, when the passion of rage and anger moved in you, it was not implanted by those who insulted you, but lay inside, and they only showed, by the sight of God, so that you would try to heal it with self-reproach, humility and love. But how can you love those who have offended, they are our villains? The Lord knew this, and commanded: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who harm you and those who drive you out (Matthew 5:44). And if you love the loving, what grace is there for you? for even sinners love them (Luke 6:32). This is how saving this commandment is for us: it takes away from us all justification and gives us the means to cure our mental illnesses. So, this incident, which shook you little, showed you your structure, and peace will again be established in you. Although traces of illness remain in your physical makeup, do not blame others for this either, but see the providence of God, who sent you this too for your cowardice. I thank God for everything and He is strong to give your body health and peace of mind. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. October 5, 1854. Thank you to the Lord, who has granted you peaceful peace of conscience regarding my badness. May God grant that this peaceful feeling is not disturbed by the contrary winds of enemy suggestions, in which you, having had enough experience, can know where it comes from and what wind is blowing, by the feeling that appears in your heart: if peace and tranquility appear, then attribute this to God’s grace and bring thanksgiving; and when embarrassment strikes, then look for guilt in yourself, for the substance of passion is not expelled and therefore, when attacked by something, it is driven into action. I say this not in one action related to me, but about all cases that may present themselves to our temptation, the sight of God and the exposure of our dispensation. May the Lord strengthen you in spiritual battles and strengthen you against the invisible forces rising against us. Our strong weapon against them is humility, which I will only easily remember in order to give a reason to learn and try to gain it. I ask you not to leave me in your prayers, wishing you peace, health and salvation. Mnogohreshny I.M. August 58, 1851. Your letter dated December 24 expresses the sorrow of your soul, desiring and seeking salvation. Call upon the Lord, seek, ask, O people, you will find, you will receive, and the door of God’s mercy will be opened to you (Matthew 7:8): He through His prophet encourages us, and “even if the woman forgot her child, I will not forget you” (Isaiah 49:15). When the widow received vengeance from an unjust judge, will we not receive from our merciful Father, who redeemed us with the blood of his Only Begotten Son, when our soul, widowed through sin, will cry out to Him, with heartfelt repentance and humility, remission of sins and clothing in the wedding garment of joy and joy. Only when we are rewarded with it will we leave it to His will. He rewards those who work for Him, according to the word of St. John of the Climacus: some at the beginning of labors, others during the passage, others at the end, and some at death itself; as each person becomes humble. You grieve for not feeling that spiritual joy that you would like to enjoy with such a sweet memory of the great event in the incarnation of the Son of God, ours for the sake of salvation. But if you delve deeply, examine and compare your structure with the paternal writings, you will find that it is far from humility; and it also has degrees and its own characteristics, and we, especially those who are meager in virtues, must humble ourselves and not seek consolation; for even those who have acquired a wealth of virtues and spiritual gifts consider themselves unworthy of them, and this is also an excuse for torment, which is why they remain in peace; their mind, enclosed in the ark of humility, is impregnable to invisible thieves. Read in our ladder in the 25th word of Art. 5. and also at St. Isaac the Syrian, in the 46th word, says that humility saves us apart from deeds. When deprived of consolations, you should not be embarrassed, but rather humble yourself, considering yourself unworthy of it, and you will calm down. It’s not a little surprising to me that you are carried away by your stay in K..., which is depicted in your imagination as serene and peaceful. Don't you understand what it could bring you to? To the very heights of pride and the depths of charm. St. John Climacus, Cassian and others strictly prohibit silence for the unskilled; and your residence there was of this kind; How would you know your passions and infirmities, and how could you reconcile yourself? Just dreaming of your corrections would bring you to complete darkness. Be grateful to the Lord that He carefully called you to serve Himself and to fight against invisible enemies. There you would not have had any abuse, and all your vices would have been left behind, except for one, who could complement all the others, according to the word of St. John Climacus. Read from Ioann Karpaf. “A word of comfort to Indian monks”; how he encourages us and prefers the monastic life to the worldly. And do not be discouraged in your battles, but even more so recognize that you are standing on the path leading you to your desired goal - salvation, and consider yourself the last of all. If anyone sins in any way, the Lord is able to turn him to the true path and grant him salvation. N. I wish, with her good will, to be saved, to resist pride, self-justification and the compilation of my mind and my will; then her mind will be enlightened and she will know the true path leading to salvation. It is very unfortunate, as you write, about the indirect path of some, but the Lord is strong to enlighten them when they learn and care about true humility, without which all our deeds are vain and insignificant. I send my blessing to your cellmates - I wish for peace, health and salvation, many sinners I.M. January 12, 1852. From my letter dated October 25th, you will see my consent to your tonsure. May the Lord bless the treasury obedience that He has chosen for you, which was expressed by the desire of the mother abbess and the blessing of your archpastor and father. I congratulate you all on your God-given Mother Superior N. May she be your mother, caring for her children and caring for you, not only with physical food, but more so with spiritual food; and may the verbal flock of the brides of Christ entrusted to her be shepherded in spiritual pasture - the words of God and the teachings of St. fathers, so that she could say, presenting herself to Archpastor Christ: “Behold, I and the children are what God has given me.” (Heb. 12:13), and I will bring them saved into the eternal life” - and may they receive from the Lord the reward promised to the faithful and wise builders of the house of God. Where God’s work is, there is His help, which can destroy all barriers to the establishment of order, tending towards the calm and salvation of the whole society. The Lord is able to pacify and unite together those who are not at peace due to the weakness of the mind and the slander of the enemy. Now you have the best field of activity ahead of you, which you have not yet encountered, and it is necessary for you, both in relation to your structure and in relation to the whole society. Your good will is needed, and the Lord will send His help. – The common efforts of you and me, with the blessing of your great Hierarch, will create great benefit for the whole society. I wrote to you before that units make up a whole, so maybe this will come true. May God bless us! We have a perfect winter: a lot of snow and frost at 20°. I ask you to pray for me, a sinful and wretched Hieromonk M., who wishes you health, success in your affairs and salvation. October 28, 1852. Venerable Mother N in the Lord! Taking your writing as a sign of zeal for my evil, I thank you for it and for your good wishes to me. You write that you have love for your neighbors: if this is the truth and not self-delusion, then you have acquired the height of virtues; but I, a sinner, feel that I have not yet achieved it, and I feel impoverished, although I wish and try, according to my strength, to express it in any case, but I have not achieved it; for it is acquired through much time, feat, labor, self-denial and the help of God. Love is a spiritual fruit, and its property is holy. The Apostle describes it this way: “love is long-suffering, it is kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not angry, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; loves everything, has faith in everything, trusts everything, endures everything. Lyubi Nikolay disappears.” (Cor. 13:4-8) When we believe ourselves with these properties of love, we will see that we are even further away from it; which should humble us; and humility promotes love, according to the word of St. Climacus: “the sacred duality of love and humility; the former exalts, and the latter supports those who are exalted and does not allow them to fall.” And about humility he notes: “many call themselves sinners, and maybe they really think so about themselves, but the heart is tempted by humiliation from others.” So, I wish you to test yourself, to believe with the above in love and humility: whether there will be impoverishment in both, and in truth, humble your wisdom. And if we delve more deeply into the scriptures of our fathers, we will see our dispensation more clearly. This very thing - to think, and even more so to say that I have this or that virtue, is already pride. Although you write that I am a sinner, I have acquired love, and it is the pinnacle of virtues. I am writing this to you out of my zeal; I wish you to truly know your weakness, from which humility is born. And I remain the desire for your salvation, many-sinful I.M. September 1, 1855. As far as I can see from your letters, the affairs of your monastery require a lot of attention and activity, and even more so at the beginning, when taking everything according to inventory and improvement. Nevertheless, it tends towards the benefit and salvation of our neighbors, and therefore, with our good will and surrender of ourselves to the will of God, God’s help will be sent down; and at the same time, our own dispensation, as in a mirror, will be vividly presented, towards the knowledge of our weaknesses and the indulgence of our neighbors in them. And where urgent correction is needed, use prudent courage; however, mercy and judgment must be used everywhere. But judgment is without mercy to him who has shown no mercy (James 2:13). I believe that you have achieved no small success in such a short time, for it took no small amount of work to put everything in order and make an inventory, and even more so to pacify those who differ in their minds into the unity of the spirit and the union of peace: but for all this we need God’s help, which is ready, with our good will. Only God grant peace and agreement with the boss, then it will be more convenient to establish peace between the sisters. I repeat again, although it is difficult for you to be in this position, it is saving; It was not without God’s looking that you moved to the monastery. Look at your arrangement, what have you managed to do? After all, the fruit of good deeds is love and humility, from which peace and peace of conscience are born. It seems that you can admit that you did not have this. Your solitude and much reading did not bring you any benefit, and a solitary stay in K... would have brought you even less. You would be carried away by one opinion about yourself, without any inclinations, and would not be prompted by anything to humility, but St. John Climacus and St. Simeon the New Theologian writes that no matter what our corrections are, those who do not have a painful heart will not benefit us in the least. Read about this in detail from Elder Paisius, in his Life (1st ed.), on page 50, et seq. I am writing this to you in the hope that you will not grieve me for this reproof, and even if you decided to grieve and reject it, then you have the word of the Holy One. Flattery: “Whoever rejected correct or incorrect reproof has rejected his own salvation”; you surely will not reject it. You are afraid to become tired of sorrows and reach the point of powerlessness, but then it will be clear; however, the Lord does not send temptations and sorrows beyond measure; but the fire of temptation acts on the vessel of our spiritual composition as much as is necessary for it to be fit for future good use in the Kingdom of God. We read, talk and write about humility, that it is necessary for salvation, but how much of it we have acquired, or whether we have omitted everything, we do not heed and do not know. St. Peter of Damascus writes that humility is a product of reason, and reason is a product of temptations and sorrows; and St. Isaac: “coming from sorrows, coming from virtues” and so on; This is explained very well in 21 words. So, he who has shied away from obedience also evades the sorrows that may come with it, and seeking imaginary peace, does not find it, but instead there is only confusion. May the Lord strengthen you in your assigned obedience and help you to carry it out with the good goal of love for your neighbors and their salvation; what I earnestly wish for you. Asking you not to leave me in your prayers, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, many sinner I.M. Most venerable mother abbess N in the Lord! You ask me to write you a schematic rule. Not the same rule can be useful for everyone, because schema-monks are not the same, with varying physical strength, and unequal intelligence and spiritual knowledge. Each of them must look at his own physical and mental strengths, and, according to his own measure, extend himself to both external and internal spiritual activities, always remembering that external and visible activities are like only leaves, and internal ones are like fruits, and that bodily virtues are only an instrument of spiritual ones. “The true order of direct Christians is internal, according to the word of St. Macarius of Egypt, and no one should firmly place his hope in external ones alone.” Schema-monks, weak in body, under church rule, also carry out the rule of three hundred bows; whoever is able must make it worse. Let the weakest of these listen to the word of the Holy One. Flattery, who says: “let anyone who is weak in body walk the path of humility and its qualities, otherwise he will not find the means of salvation.” The properties of humility, according to the same saint, are the first: “acceptance of dishonor, which the soul accepts and embraces with open arms, like a medicine that begs its ailments and ulcers of great sins; second: the destruction of all anger in oneself and in quenching it - humility; third: complete disbelief in one’s own corrections and the desire to always learn (and not be led by one’s own reason).” Both the strong and the weak schema-monk must always keep in mind the advice of St. Isaac the Syrian about keeping yourself from idleness, in which secret death is hidden. He says in the 71st word: “It is not about the psalms on the day that God condemns us, below about the idleness of prayer, but because of the abandonment of these, the entrance of the demon is. And we are subject to them, abandoning ourselves for the sake of these little ones.” We must also remember that in all our deeds God looks at our intentions and proposals, whether we are doing something for His sake and for the benefit of our souls, and not out of man-pleasing or self-pleasing, being robbed by vanity or conceit. And therefore, in everything we need the lamp of reasoning, the mother of which is humility. Where there is no light, everything is gloomy, and where there is no humility, all our deeds are vain, as St. Kaccian, St. John Climacus and St. Isaac the Syrian. “The head of all virtue,” according to St. Macarius of Egypt, and “the top of corrected deeds is constant abiding in prayer.” And he followed this, in the book of the 7th Word, chapters. 9, again says: “If we are not adorned with humility, simplicity and goodness, the image of prayer will not benefit us. We say this “not only about prayer, but also about any feat, or labor, or virginity or vigil, or any other exercise or deed done for the sake of virtue. Because all these pious works are undertaken and accomplished for the sake of fruit; spiritual fruits: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, meekness, self-control, humility, and the like; But if this fruit is not found in us, all our exploits are vain and useless.” The schema-monk must always remember the vows he made during tonsure and learn from them. Remember that acceptance of the schema is complete mortification and renunciation of the world. Peace according to St. Isaac, consists of passions, and especially 3 main ones: love of glory, voluptuousness and love of money. If we do not arm ourselves against them, then we inevitably fall into anger, sadness, despondency, resentment, envy, hatred and the like. So, the schema-monk must most of all watch out for these evils, overcoming them with the help of St. humility, which God looks upon (Ps. 130:18); without leaving at the same time the external cell rule, according to its strength and according to the word of the Gospel: “This is fitting to do and not to forsake them (Matthew 23:23). In the catechumen speech at the time of tonsure, it was said to the schema-monk: “If you do not falsely desire to be called a disciple of Christ, prepare from now on not for weakness, nor for carelessness, nor for food, nor for anything else from the red and sweet things that exist on earth, but for spiritual exploits, for abstinence of the flesh, for the purification of the soul, for ultimate poverty, which I cry for the good, for all the sorrowful and painful, joyful life according to God. For you become hungry, thirsty and hungry, become annoyed and reproached, humiliate yourself and are driven away, and are burdened with many other sorrowful things, and the life that exists according to God is outlined by them. And when you have suffered all this, rejoice, says the Lord: for “your reward is abundant in heaven” (Matthew 5:12). The schema-monk promised to do all this, with the help and assistance of God. But if later, due to cowardice or physical weakness, he cannot fulfill this exactly, then at least he will take care of what is possible for him. If he cannot hunger and thirst, then let him at least try to avoid gluttony and voluptuousness, and in general from abuse of food and drink. If he cannot be naked, then let him at least reject excess and partiality in clothing. If you are not yet able to subject yourself to voluntarily enduring annoyance, reproach, and humiliation, and have not yet acquired complacent patience in the involuntary, then at least try not to annoy, not to reproach, not to humiliate or in any way oppress your neighbor, and to protect yourself from contempt, condemnation and contempt. If you are still insufficient in attention and mental sobriety, and good crying and cleansing of the soul from passions, then let us resort to the cover of blessed and blessed humility, covering our weaknesses and making up for our shortcomings. A sign of genuine humility in us, according to Abba Dorotheos, is when we are not angry and do not anger our neighbor; and according to St. To the Climacus - if we do not sin voluntarily, and if in the feeling of our soul we recognize that everyone close to us is superior to us. When, due to our negligence, we have not acquired this good, then through self-reproach, self-reproach and spiritual lamentation, let us draw closer to it. “For I am at a loss (astonished) to speak of St. Climacus, whoever, disappeared from the embrace of St. humility, will receive some eternal gift.” Finally, no matter how spiritually we are, we need constant repentance, constantly confessing to God and our spiritual father our sins, weaknesses and shortcomings. The verb of St. Climacus: “Even if you step on the whole ladder of accomplishment, pray for the remission of sins.” And St. James is the brother of God: Confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other, so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). During repentance and any correction, we must remember that: “Be sure to love God, but do not love your neighbor, that is a lie” (1 John 4:20), and also: “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer.” (1 John 3:15). From all this it is clear that not only rules and physical labors are needed, but also spiritual works, and all this, dissolved in humble wisdom. For according to the word of St. Isaac the Syrian (46 ff.). “Humility, in addition to deeds, forgives a lot of sins, but on the contrary, without it, it is useless, but they also do a lot of evil to us.” The rules are necessary and useful, as stated above, according to our strength, to fulfill: for from the quantity and quality of them we are worthy, but when fulfilling them we should not rely on the fact that in them is our salvation. This is more than pride and leads to delusion. But even if someone misses something out of weakness, if someone is embarrassed, he must recognize secret pride in himself through this, because he believed his salvation only in this. And St. Isaac the Syrian writes in verse 89: “The heart is filled with sadness about weakness and powerlessness about obvious bodily deeds, it takes the place of all bodily deeds.” - “Bodily actions, except for the sadness of thought, as the body is soulless,” - “Sadness of thought is an honest gift from God, and wear it as it should be, like a person, wear a shrine in your places. A person who has cut off his tongue against people, whether good or evil, is not worthy of this grace.” And St. John Climacus, in the 7th word writes: “no matter how great lives we go through, but if we do not acquire a sick heart, then all our deeds are feigned and vain.” Here you have, according to the strength of my understanding, what I have collected from the teachings of St. fathers, then I propose for the benefit of those who want and seek salvation, for their voluntary work, to which God will look and give His help to those who are truly humble. According to M.’s desire to have an understanding of the schema-monk’s way of life, I am sending you an extract from the paternal writings, from which you will see that the schema-monk is perfect monasticism, and monasticism is perfect Christianity. And not only external work is required, but even more internal work. The first, according to the strength of everyone, must pass, and the last must certainly, as it does not require bodily strength, but mental strength and good will. Maybe both you and she will find this insufficient because the amount of work and the quality of food is not specified; this is something that cannot be determined for everyone’s strength and ability. – Another cannot live harshly and cruelly, and instead of benefiting him (such a way of life) brings harm; but those who are strong and healthy do not need to give themselves indulgences, and of course it is strictly necessary to force themselves to do this work. Internal work is necessary for everyone. THEM. January 1852. Please accept my sincere congratulations on the coming and already past bright holiday of the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ and on the current St. Pentecost. Forgive me for not prefacing you with my congratulations; but there are so many letters that I can’t unsubscribe and there are always a bunch of letters lying on the table unanswered. Thank you for wishing me a happy holiday; I received your letter dated March 20th on Easter days. It is very sad for me, reading your letter, to see your situation, troubles both in the monastery and outside it: there is no consolation from anywhere; Of course, God allows you to be tempted by the fire of sorrows in your old age, in order to appear like gold purified in the furnace of temptation, and worthy to be crowned with an unfading crown in the kingdom of glory! We read about the sorrowful path the saints traversed and inherited eternal bliss. And the books of the Fathers teach us that without sorrow it is impossible to please God; not only external ones must exist, but also internal ones from the spirits of malice, which happen by God’s permission. St. has a lot about this. Isaac, Barsanuphius, John Climacus, Dorotheus, Peter of Damascus, and others. The latter writes: “humility is a product of reason, and reason is a product of temptation”; St. Isaac the Syrian in many words encourages the patience of sorrows, as you can see from the alphabetical indication; and I will only tell us from the 36th word: “There is no other way to create God’s favor for those who desire to be with Him, except to bring on temptation for the truth.” and further: “and from this it is known that we are provided by God when he sends him sorrow.” Therefore, you are not forgotten by God when you have sorrows; but if you endure them resignedly and with humility, then they are bearable and quickly pass, but when you endure them with murmuring and accusations of others, they are more difficult; What does St. write about? Isaac in 51st ff. I wrote this for your strengthening: when the cross is sent, there is nowhere to go, you cannot throw it off. But entering into the consideration of the circumstances you described, which bring you sorrow, I sincerely regret you and accept the outpouring of your sorrowful feelings, I participate in them, and all the more I see their burden, because I don’t know whether you have any sisters there who can share this sorrow with you and strengthen you, or any spiritual fathers?... I started to write it myself, but I don’t have the strength, I dictate. I received your letter dated July 11 and along with this you ask for the commemoration of the most venerable archpastor, Metropolitan Gregory, who died in Bose, to hold a service in your monastery on the fortieth day of the 25th and 26th. We ourselves consider it our duty to remember this great archpastor, who was once the primate of the Kaluga flock; and at the same time, as we received the news of his death, we remember the repose of his soul, both in our monastery and in the monastery, at the proskomedia and reading the psalter. And now, fulfilling your wish, on the 25th of this month i.e. yesterday, in the monastery they served a liturgy for the repose of his soul, and after it a memorial service; and now on the fortieth day we will have a memorial service for his soul; commemoration is also performed in the monastery. I know how painful it was for you to lose your loving archpastor and father, who for so long patronized you and consoled you in your sorrows with advice and prayers; but in the destinies of the all-wise providence of God it was predestined for him at this time to move from local sorrows and worries to eternal peace. In our opinion, he was a pillar and affirmation for our entire Russian Church, but God knows more than us and chooses a worthy archpastor for the Church: “The right to rule the word of truth.” And you be trustworthy in the fact that the Lord, who has done so much good for you here, will not leave you there, and will intercede with the Lord for your salvation; With this hope, satisfy your grief over his deprivation, and praying for him, have consolation in the memory and from him. July 26, 1860. You are in vain to be faint-hearted for not going to church, due to the weakness of your body. With this weakness, try to heal the spiritual weakness that is visible in you, through cowardice and embarrassment, for not being in church due to weakness. Vanity and conceit are mixed in here, both of which do a lot of harm. Likewise, regarding obedience, your grief stems from the same sources - vanity and conceit, but the fruit of humility is not seen in this. St. John Climacus writes: “Humility is born from obedience,” but for you it’s the opposite. Obedience does not consist in merely being good at something, but in rejecting one’s will and reason and subjugating them to others. For this reason there is warfare and it humbles us. It is also useful to participate in matters of obedience, but when we accept the annoyance and reproach that happens to us without grumbling, but with self-reproach and knowledge of our weakness, from which our glory-loving part is tamed, and the furious part also becomes weak. And when we only feed on the thought that we are undergoing obedience, we are further deceived by pride, and instead of benefit we receive harm; for spiritual fruit is: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, etc. ( Gal.5:22 ). Read from St. Macarius of Egypt, in the 1st word of Ch. 13 and 14 - there you will find this truth. There was no point in shedding so many tears in vain for your thought alone: ​​but how it was explained! We need to pay attention to this: with self-reproach, or with reproach of others? In the first case there could be no confusion. Peace be with you! Mnogohreshny I.M. January 26, 1852. I do not grieve for you, but I regret your sorrows and your dispensation, which you seem to understand poorly. What does your expression: “I was not made twofold” refer to? However, you consider this “your main and unforgivable fault.” Why guilt - when, according to you, you were created this way? This is very dangerous and sinful. I have no right to go into the details of your actions and the sorrows caused to you, for I will not do you any help, and I must say what I find necessary for your benefit. There is in Scripture: the destinies of the Lord throughout the whole earth (Ps. 104:7), but we are under the providence of God. If the hair of our head does not perish without the will of God (Luke 21:18), and the bird does not fall without it (Matthew 10:29), then everything that happens to us is undoubtedly arranged by the wise providence of God. God humbles this one, and exalts this one, brings him down and enriches him, kills him and gives him life (1 Samuel 2:6-7). And who can resist His will and providence? St. Apostle Paul, with all his wisdom and holiness, exclaimed: “O the depth of the riches, and wisdom, and mind of God! For His destinies are untested and His secrets are unexplored. Who understands the mind of the Lord? Or who was His adviser (Rom. 11:33–31). What will we say about ourselves? Shouldn't we attribute everything sorrowful and involuntary that happens to us to the providence of God, which cares about our salvation? And if we accepted it this way, blaming ourselves and considering ourselves worthy not only of such, but also of great sorrows, then we would soon get rid of them and calm down, and if in sorrows we become embittered, and grumble, and blame others, then we multiply and burden ourselves with them even more. These are not my words, but St. Isaac the Syrian, 51st ff. written. God allows sorrow to befall us, and people who insult us are only instruments of His providence; but we abandon God and blame people, and according to the word of St. Abba Dorotheus, “the dogs we suffer.” If someone throws a stone at a dog, it leaves the thrower and gnaws the stone. Understand your position and structure. You grieve and grumble, you hold others guilty, but do not attribute all this to God, who allows this to happen, for your benefit and for the healing of your spiritual structure. After all, the Son of God shed His blood for the salvation of us all, and for you. He redeemed us at great cost from sinful captivity and death, and seeks our salvation! Sends sorrows so that we can be healed and cleansed from sins and passions. So, I advise you to change your thoughts, according to St. Scripture and God's commandments. Recognize your sinfulness in pride and impatience, and humble yourself under the strong hand of God, blaming no one but yourself: then you will see God’s help: how God will calm you down and win over the hearts of those who oppose you. I can’t advise you better than this and I remain, wishing for your health and salvation. Mnogohreshny I.M. October 14, 1855. Most Reverend Mother N. Do you want to visit us? If God’s will is for this, and your desire will be fulfilled, be calm. In weakness of health, it is more necessary to take care of the spiritual dispensation, and to look at death as rest from labor, by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has given us eternal life, and whether we live or die, we are the Lord's (Rom. 14:8). I wish that N.N. would be able to calm you down and serve you peacefully, for which the Lord will reward you both on that day. Peace be with you! sinful I.M. January 26th, 1853. You write that during your current trip to us, you did not receive from me satisfactory food for your soul, and you did not know how to speak as you should. You believe that the reason for this is that your benefactor has said a lot to me about you. As for me, I recognize and feel stupid and sinful, and I’m afraid to think that I can do anyone any good; lying in sinful wounds, how can I heal others? However, despite this, for those who with faith demand the word, I extend only my sinful hand (for fear of renunciation) to write what, according to their faith, the grace of God gives to my darkened mind for creation and benefit. And if anyone takes advantage of something through my badness, then truly their faith intercedes for them from God for this gift. Isn’t God able, for those who truly seek benefit, to give a word to His verbal creation, when He admonished the dumb and gave them a word? (Numbers 22:28). When you were here, I still told you with the same usual feeling (i.e., wanting your good, but not considering myself capable of benefiting you); but you, having stumbled in your opinion about slander, have also stumbled in your faith; and therefore did not receive any benefit. When you believe that I accept slander and act on it, then it is in vain to speak and seek benefit. On the contrary, there were no slander; everyone speaks about his own weaknesses, and not about others; Maybe you won’t believe me on this, but I’m telling the truth; and I can even say (not to reproach you) in your letters, you wrote more about her, about gossip and so on. (than she was talking about you). But leave it all behind; be sure that I was not offended by you in the least: if you grieved for me, and even if you left me completely, I consider myself worthy of it; but as you recognize your weakness in this, repent and ask to write to you - I do this, as obedience, I stretch out my hand; and when your heart is disposed to accept with faith, then I believe that God will send a word to your admonition and strengthening. In your last letter you write that you cannot heed yourself from the many sorrowful adventures that have accumulated for you, and from the internal cross that is strangling you. I often remembered the word about attention in your first letters, and that before I paid more attention to myself; but it seems that you were only deceiving yourself, considering yourself to be listening; and if she corrected anything from this, then she relied on it for her salvation. This is not true attention, for it did not bear any fruit of humility, and without this latter, none of our virtues, even if they really existed, are pleasing to God; since even if love is deprived, other virtues will not bring any benefit. I advise you to examine yourself carefully, did you, with your attention, care about these two virtues: love and humility? And when not, then what and what did you pay attention to? You have quite a few fatherly books that teach us how to resist them when fighting passions, and when defeated, to recognize our weakness and humble ourselves; and that sorrows are necessary for us, for through them we come to true reason and that they comprehend us only by God’s permission, as we are arranged for our benefit; when we blame our neighbors for these, and not ourselves for not bearing them, then they multiply even more and become more painful. I will tell you about this in some, a few places, and you yourself try and test more in the writings of the fathers, and you will surely find shortcomings in yourself, and not in others, which, although they really offend us, are only instruments of God’s providence, acting in the matter of our salvation. At St. Mark of the ascetic (in Dobrotoll.) in the first chapters (read) 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 56, 57, 65, 66, 67, 88, 113, 114, 115, 143 and 156, in the second: 47, 48, 56, 65, 66, 68, 82, 124, 127, 134, 137, 139, 141, 150, 154, 155, 157, 169, 171, 197, 200, 202, 209. His same in the book of Delight. classes p. 132, from 10 lines from the bottom; and 133 pp., St. Abba Dorotheus, “teaching about enduring temptation.” At St. Isaac the Syrian lyrics 34, 35, 36, 37, 51. St. has many. John Climacus, St. Zosimus and St. Peter of Damascus and others. But when you carefully study these things, you will be able to benefit from them too and you will receive great benefit. I do not justify your cell attendants in their bad treatment of you, but I believe that this is the will of God, either testing you, bringing you to the knowledge of your weaknesses, or punishing you. And when you blame others for your sorrows, they will multiply even more and burden you, as you will see in chapter 51. St. Isaac; and if you blame yourself and your dispensation, you will soon receive an abundance of sorrows. How could one hope for new people without knowing either their morality or their customs? Apparently you need to take one of your own from your relatives or from the monastery, for which you need to pray to God, may He give you one who could bear your infirmities, and you bear her infirmities. I wish the Lord to comfort you and send you a good helper. I ask for God’s blessing on you and remain the desire for your health and salvation, many-sinful I.M. March 28, 1853. From your letter of August 4, I see that you are still not calm and peaceful towards those who insulted and insulted you; my word is not to them, but to you; they will give an answer about themselves, or will be cleansed by repentance, or by sorrows, or by illness. You write that you want to be saved, but your proud disposition hinders you a lot, and St. the fathers write that pride completely deprives one of salvation; This is why the books were written for us, so that we would reject pride and acquire humility; and how to do it - they teach us and admonish us. When reading books, pay more attention to this: how to drive away pride and how to acquire humility. And God will give you an opportunity for this, for example: they insult you, reproach you, cause you annoyance. How can they do this on their own if God does not allow them to do this? And therefore they are the instruments with which God acts in the matter of your salvation. Your pride is offended, you see untruth in people, you are not loved, etc., but for you all these are plasters applied to your ulcers. Your proud disposition is healed by this: when you, seeing that you cannot bear this, must recognize your weakness and humble yourself, reproach yourself, and not those who insult you; consider them your benefactors, for for their sake you came to know your dispensation. If they don’t love you, love them; the fact that they don’t love you does not depend on you, but loving them is in your will and is your duty; for the Lord commanded: to love not those who love us, but our enemies (Matthew 5:44), and when this is not in us, then how much more must we humble ourselves and drive away pride, and pray to the Lord about this. Let the following be a sign of humility and pride for you: the second one looks at everyone, reproaches and sees blackness in them, while the first one sees only his own badness and does not dare to judge anyone. You ask: why do you agree with thoughts against old age, dwell on them and judge? From what else if not from your will? The enemy only brings a pretext to your harm, and you, instead of rejecting it, accept it and talk with it; but there is no harm to us from it, but there is harm to you. Your foreknowledge and foreknowledge of something is very close to delusion; beware of it. I wish you peace and tranquility of soul, and I remain the great sinner I.M. And I agree with M.’s opinion that the small grain of the medicine does not prevent the taking of antidor with faith for sanctification. April 14, 1853 Thank you for congratulating me on St. fasting, and for all your good wishes; mutually and I congratulate you on this. May the Lord strengthen you to walk the path of the Lenten field reverently and humbly, in the advancement of virtues and spiritual activity, what you desire and care about; also tighten the patience of those who find it. You write that you have sorrows from your cells, and even more so from the N you received. What should you do? It’s not one way or the other, but you have to endure, and recognize and correct your structure; I do not deny praying to God for them, although I myself am a sinner. I wrote to you recently, responding to your letter; and what you write about my coming to you, I’m afraid to think about it due to my weakness. I am sending you a little icon and a glass of mallow; I received along with your letter..., for which I thank you earnestly. I remain wishing you health and salvation I.M. Most Honorable N. of the Lord. The bright holiday of the Resurrection of Christ is approaching, bringing joy and spiritual joy to all Christians. The custom is to greet each other with joyful congratulations: Christ is risen! And I congratulate you with the greeting: Christ is Risen! May He grant you spiritual joy and joy, driving away the darkness of sorrow and sorrow that holds your soul due to various circumstances. And at the same time, I congratulate you on your Angel’s Day. I received your letter dated February 23, but I ask you not to blame for delay in response; and sometimes I won’t write at all; Now I write very little myself, but my brothers write, I just sign, which maybe others don’t like. You, describing your barrenness in spiritual life and the sorrows that visit you, blame yourself for the first; I approve of this: by blaming ourselves and recognizing our weakness, we come to humility, and this calms us down. Sorrows are the fruit of our negligence and lazy life, but they are sent for the poverty of our spiritual work in order to make up for sorrowful, although involuntary, cases with patience; and you don’t need to blame anyone for these, but only yourself, although it seems to you that someone is insulting you and not helping you with your needs; but in all this there is the action of God’s providence, arranging our salvation. You yourself reason sensibly that God provides for every creature; He can also provide for you, but requires a painful heart with the expectation of His fatherly help. Not only is God’s providence for us when we live in abundance in everything: but we must believe that even in the poverty of everything, His fatherly love provides for our salvation. - It is certain that He can enrich everyone; but when he sees that abundance does not benefit, but harms the soul, he takes it away and wants to make up for our previous shortcomings with patience and gratitude. Bring glory and thanksgiving to Him for everything, and humble yourself: who knows how long we will live: let us go into his age, everything will remain. M.N. If she has found peace in Orel, then we rejoice with her in this and wish that with it she will be worthy to receive eternal peace. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. March 17, 1853. I was heartily rejoiced when I saw from your letter dated March 1 that calm was being established in your cell society. I am also consoled by the fact that you recognize yourself as guilty, and a secret voice inspires you about your duty in relation to your aunt and mother in spirit. And you see why you became more peaceful: you came to self-knowledge, saw your guilt, began to reproach yourself; I believe that she also resorted to the same means. This very thing crushed the power of the enemy, which was trying to disturb your spiritual structure. If you continue to recognize your weaknesses, reproach yourself and humble yourself, then even if she did not have this, spiritual, humble wisdom on your part is enough to crush the cunning of the enemy. If she has speed and fussiness in her character, but her intention is inclined towards the good side; and when a thought comes to you from the enemy to judge her actions, reproach yourself in the feeling of your soul and the enemy’s excuse will go away. You write that you received great benefit from the words of St. Abba Dorotheus, about cutting off your will, but you find yourself more accustomed to fulfilling your will, however, even for this you do not avoid embarrassment. This is already double-mindedness: both of them confuse, and in confusion there is neither humility nor repentance. St. Abba Dorotheos admonishes us very simply, but very clearly; how can you learn to cut off your will: starting with small things, whether to look at something, whether to say something, whether to go somewhere; By restraining himself from all this with compulsion, a person becomes accustomed to cutting off his desires in big things. St. writes very well and in detail about this. Peter of Damascus in the 3rd part of the Philokalia, (ed. in 1/8 dollars) from 13 to 15 sheets “whenever you want to make a beginning...” - read this and you will find great benefit to your soul. St. has a lot about this. John of the Climacus, at St. Simeon the New Theologian and other saints. You yourself know that, living in freedom and of your own free will, you could suffer a lot from passions, when even in a painful state of the body passions outrage your soul; and you ask the question: what should one do when passions flare up? This is what our whole feat consists of: to overcome passions, and they are multi-faceted. The main holy fathers consider the 8th (St. Casian, St. Nil of Sora), and St. John Climacus, combining pride with vanity, counts them 7. These holy fathers teach us how to fight against what passions and how to defeat them. Read the passages shown to you and take them as your guide. But you need to know that all passions from our pride receive the power to defeat us, but on the contrary, humility overthrows them. However, it happens, according to St. John Climacus (in the 26th degree) and the fact that from some all passions are removed except for one pride, which replaces all passions; and therefore one must be careful not to bring chaff instead of fruit. This is why we need renunciation of our will and mind, because humility is born from this; and the struggle with passions humbles us. The confusion occurring in your monastery is of course painful for everyone; and in this case there are actions of passions. You remove yourself, observe as much neutrality as possible and rely on the will of God. Whoever He pleases to choose, so be it. I ask for God’s blessing on you and remain the desire for your health and salvation, many-sinful I.M. March 27, 1856 Any friendship that is not based on true love and humility, and especially friendship through passion, is fragile and will be destroyed. May the Lord protect you from all the snares and snares of the enemy and may he give you true intelligence gained through humility. Most Reverend Mother N. I feel sorry for you that you are looking for adventure yourself and entangling yourself like a bird in a net; Those who have at least some intelligence must beware of seeing themselves in mental distress. There was no need to go to P-b, to stay there for 8 days - where I did not receive any benefit for myself, but only a criticism. Are you worried about walking past your cell? Can you stop someone from walking? Forbid your feelings from looking at this; and reproach yourself for the zeal that happens to you. I am writing to you in the dark (i.e., secretly) because I am dictating: I myself cannot write, but for you it is clear. Do you think that by going to another monastery you will calm down: who knows whether you will find peace? Peace is found in humility; This is how the Lord taught us (Matthew 11:29). Do not look at other people’s weaknesses, but pay attention to yourself and resist passions, ask for God’s help and the Lord will enlighten you and strengthen you in the true path. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation I.M. February 14, 1847. Most reverent mother of the Lord N From your letter I see that you have begun to undergo mental prayer, and are forcing yourself not to have any thoughts, and not being able to drive them away, you become embarrassed and your mind becomes darkened. It terrifies me that you, young and passionate, dared to embark on such a great task of intelligent work and mindfulness, which is appropriate for those in a high state; and you, just from reading, without asking anyone, dared to go to such a height! For this they find the wrath of God, they not only become darkened, but also go completely crazy and are mocked by demons. Yes, they curse at you, seducing you into thinking that you are doing a great thing; They tell you: “Leave prayer, I don’t fight with you.” Do you see the flattery of the enemy to make you proud, as if you were a prayer book? Look at your life. How you lived and live: young and arbitrary, all in passions, you do not have obedience and submission to your elders, you quarrel and argue with your mother, so that it comes to anger; and instead of overthrowing passions from obedience to the humility that is born, you are carried away by pride, delving even deeper into passions, and almost fell into the deepest ditch - lust, and this shows your pride. How can you dare to ascend to the heights of smart doing when you are in such a pitiful state? And those who follow the path of true obedience, self-sacrifice, and are forced to fulfill God’s commandments, humble themselves, consider themselves worse than everyone else, and even have mentors of grace - and those, going through mental prayer, are in trouble, for the sake of many charms that happen and the snares of the enemy, which appear under the guise of true grace-filled actions. But you have no idea about this and dared to embark on such a lofty task beyond your reason and structure! So, I suggest to you, and I strictly forbid you, to abandon your undertaking, and follow the path of obedience, cutting off your will and reason, resist passions, and when they attack, open yourself to those who can heal you. If you had opened up before, you wouldn’t have suffered what you did. And humble yourself from all this, and consider yourself worse than everyone else, and the Lord will have mercy on you. Mother.... she tells you the truth that she cannot bless you to undergo mental prayer, I confirm this to you. Follow the humble path and you will receive salvation. Pray to God in the simplicity of your heart, drive away the thoughts that find you with humility and do not think that you can drive them away yourself; and your prayer is not true: in humility, confusion will be driven away and you can calm down, considering yourself the worst of all; from increasing resistance to thoughts, the mind becomes darkened and confusion increases. St. John Climacus writes: “God does not require prayer without soaring from new novices. Therefore, do not grieve, being plundered by thoughts, but be complacent, raise your mind to attention: never to be plundered by thoughts is characteristic of a single Angel.” Also: “look into the minds of unskilled novices and you will find there an erroneous thought, i.e. the search for high virtues, including the search for prayer that is not distracted by thoughts. They recklessly skip over lower degrees, being deceived by the enemy, so that, having sought these perfections ahead of time, they would not receive them in due time.” “So, I advise you to stop reading the Philokalia and the Nile of Sora, in which there is a lot of useful things, but you leave the useful things behind and prematurely gravitate toward the lofty, which is beyond your measure; and read St. John of the Climacus, Abba Dorotheus and other fathers, active words, and try to overcome passions with your strength; but don’t take things high. St. Isaac the Syrian writes: “there is grief and fierceness to betray to the novice who is high.” I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. February 18, 1857. To what you wrote on September 27th, I have not yet been able to get ready to answer you, due to my weakness and the many letters, which for the most part are written by the brethren according to my legend, but I must answer yours with my own hand. Although I myself feel in everything that I am far from what I should be rich in - spiritual fruits, I cannot refuse to answer those who demand advice and I hope that the Lord, according to their faith, will give my darkened mind a word for their benefit, as He gave a voice to a dumb animal (Num. 22:28). I dare to offer a word, and may the Lord give it the strength to convince them and for spiritual benefit. What was your way of life in the world, and at what age did you devote yourself to monastic life, and for how long ago? “I don’t know anything about this, and I only see from the letter that you are already a nun in robes.” I believe that you are now at the age of 40, the term established by the decree of the Holy Synod; or maybe you received this image earlier, but I am undoubtedly sure that you left the world according to the calling of God, for the sake of the kingdom of God. But sometimes it happens that some, having conceived in the spirit, end up in the flesh and take on the mantle, even achieving it out of vanity and ambition, and the mantle is an image of humility, and if we wear it without this latter, then it is no longer a useful burden, and not a good yoke, but a resistant one. Knowing nothing about your structure, I only told you what can sometimes happen to people; and you trust your conscience and be guided by the teachings of the holy fathers, who walked the path of monastic life, and who left us an example with their life and teaching. In their teaching we see how to act and go through the path of life, to have a struggle with passions; and our main enemies are demons who fight us with our passions; against all their intrigues, arrows and snares, the main weapon is humility; since they are proud, they overthrow those who proudly think of fighting them; but they cannot resist humility. Ask how and where to learn humility? Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself said: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29); This is the foundation of our science - humility. The Holy Fathers, imitating this teaching, learned to the point that, despite all their holiness, they considered themselves worse than everyone else and under all creation, and they teach us this; and they clearly showed that where the fall began, pride preceded it (St. Ladder). I advise you to read books: St. John Climacus, Abba Dorotheus, Ephraim the Syrian, Simeon the New Theologian, Cascian the Roman, St. Barsanuphius, Nila Sora and others, as well as the lives of the holy fathers. From all this you will find great benefit to your soul; and when you try to do as best you can what they teach, you will receive God’s help; and in case of non-correction due to weakness, bring repentance and descend into the depths of humility, which will strongly intercede for you to the Lord. In the attempts and repentance you described for my unworthiness, I cannot give you permission in writing, or in absentia, and, moreover, it is impossible to do this in another diocese; and you, having resorted to humility, confess your sins there before your spiritual father and receive permission and peace of mind in your conscience. By removing from your cell that person who was harmful to you, you did well, and for mutual benefit. You write that you cannot be in church often due to illness; God sees this and will not require more than the measure of your strength, but at home you can fulfill the rule according to your strength, and in this you humble yourself and ache in your heart, which will replace physical work. The “cruel wounds” that occur to you during obedience are very useful to you. God Himself sends them, both to repentance for sins, and to experience patience and humility; and they seem unbearable to you because you do not have self-reproach, but instead self-justification; When we remember the vows we have made, “I endure everything,” then we will be aroused to complacent patience and gratitude. THEM. October 10, 1857 Upon receiving my letter, you write to me again and ask about the rule, presenting your weakness. You should see in my extract that it is not because of the rules that we will be tortured on the day of judgment, but that by abandoning them evil thoughts enter into us. However, heart disease is a result of failure to perform bodily actions and replaces bodily actions. If we rely only on correcting the rules alone, and do not take care of the healing of spiritual passions, through which spiritual fruits are bestowed: love, joy, peace, etc., then we will be like a tree adorned with leaves, but having no fruit; A barren tree is cut down and thrown into the fire (Matthew 3:11). Follow the rules as you are now correcting them; but turn all your attention to your inner structure. You write that when you encounter reproaches and annoyance, even though you cannot at that time, a spark of anger will flare up, and you will certainly take revenge with something and satisfy your passion of resentment, as if you would satisfy your hunger with some nutritious food. ABOUT! this is a disastrous dispensation; this means evil has come into the habit; you must quickly strive against it in order to receive healing, with the help of God. Read from the Monk Abba Dorotheos how harmful resentment is, also from St. John Climacus; again from Abba Dorotheus in the 10th lesson, on page 124. There are three dispensations: “acting a passion, resisting it and eradicating it,” you will see that you are among the active passions. Oh, how scary it is! “It is under hell as long as passion is active.” Read in other fatherly teachings how to restrain yourself and resist passions. Pride is the cause of all our falls, and so is anger, according to the words of John Climacus, anger is a product of pride, and where the fall occurs, pride precedes it; then we must try by all means to destroy pride in ourselves by the opposite virtue, self-reproach and humility; for humility, even in addition to deeds, forgives many sins, but deeds without it are vain and in vain, writes St. Isaac. The reproaches that happen to you, like the one you write about, are God’s permission, for your testing and training; from whom and no matter how it happens, they cannot be without the will of God, for they are only the weapons of God’s providence, with which He acts in the matter of our salvation; with all this, remember what image you bear on yourself: the image of humility! let your deeds agree with him: in every reproach and annoyance, remember that I am dust and ashes, trampled upon by all; - and you will rest in peace, and no longer fan the spark. I cannot be a judge about other matters. There is a Judge, God, who is the hidden message of every heart and will reward everyone according to his deeds (Rom. 2:6) either here or in the next century. You write that some sisters are grieving you for making it a rule to read akathists and canons that they had not read before. Any innovation must be made with reasoning, so that it brings spiritual benefit, and with the consent of everyone; and if this leads to confusion for many, then what is the benefit of it? I am not an imam about this stuff. By attributing, you are talking, together with Mother N, about your lack of correction and laziness towards rule and obedience, why you must involuntarily, seeing your badness, humble yourself, and then you will calm down and receive God’s help in your affairs. You say that otherwise you live in a monastery and see nothing good from your life. And if you saw your good life, you would become proud and anger God even more. You must do good, but not see it or think about it, but consider yourself the last of all. - This will be more pleasing to God. November 5, 1857 Your Reverence, most venerable abbess, mother of N. N! From your letter of December 3rd, which I received, I see your goodwill towards my badness: I thank you earnestly. You write that illnesses and sorrows visit you. – This is a sign of God’s mercy to you: since the Lord loves him, punishes him, and beats every son he accepts (Heb. 12:6), then you must thank the Lord for His fatherly providence for you. Sorrows enlighten us and make us skillful in our affairs: they also cleanse us from sins, as well as illnesses. You ask me about the sisters of your monastery who want to take monastic vows, what rules they should follow and what food they should eat. The schema-monastic image is a perfect monastic image, and monasticism is perfect Christianity. Our main goal should be to fulfill God’s commandments, by which our heart is cleansed of passions and filled with spiritual fruits: peace, joy, love and others. By abstinence our carnal composition is refined, and with it, together with the prayer rule, the mind is cleansed, but while fulfilling the commandments of God, and with the deepest humility; and without this, neither fasting, nor work, nor rule will bring us any benefit. And if we only place the image of monasticism in this one thing, to fulfill the rule and observe fasting, and do not care about the commandments of love, patience and humility, then we will work in vain. Rules and fasting, of course, are more important for schema monks than for a simple monk, and it is appropriate to force oneself to do this: but, however, God seeks from us, according to the strength of each, bodily feat, and spiritual feat - love and humility from everyone, and the sick and elderly can love their neighbor, and humble themselves, and will receive God’s mercy; This is not my opinion, but I offer you the teaching of the holy fathers. You can accept the tonsure, but you are already their spiritual mother. I ask you not to leave me in your holy prayers and with my respect I remain the wisher of your health and salvation and prayer partner, much-sinful I.M. December 14, 1857 Most Honorable N.N. You write, with the consciousness of your action, that you did not suffer embarrassment from N., - you dared to make a terrible example, but for the kind of punishment you suffered and in your conscience, torture and attack from the enemy. Remembering this, restrain yourself from angry passion, which has its root in pride. How can we destroy both pride and anger when no one will touch us? According to St. John Climacus, when the heart is indignant, one must guard one’s lips and reproach oneself for the indignation; and not your neighbor; and having recognized your weakness, descend into the depths of humility. Read about the angry passion of St. John Climacus, at St. Casian, Nil Sorsky and St. Mark the Ascetic, letters to Nicholas the monk, and try to fulfill what is written. The enemy of both of you is fighting and N. represents a sorrowful future, and not hope in God; and he outrages you with his demands. But you have no weapons for this battle - humility! This is what you need to take care of most of all. For your repentance and condolences before God about your actions, He is able to grant you forgiveness, and even more so when you humble yourself and begin to restrain yourself from outbursts of anger. April 25, 1858 I believe that now N.N. and you have been honored to be partakers of the most pure mysteries of Christ, for which I earnestly congratulate you; I wish to spend the fast humbly and reverently and celebrate the bright holiday with heartfelt joy and a feeling of gratitude to our merciful redeemer, the Lord Jesus Christ! – You write that you have no peace with N.; It seems that you can learn this alphabet, that this dispensation of yours is not from it, but from your pledge of heart wrong. We are disciples of Christ, and He commands us to love our enemies. Where is this love? How do we know if we have it? Of course, when we are offended and reviled, and God allows them to do this to our test. When we not only do not tolerate, but also do not have love, then we must repent of this and reproach ourselves, because we not only do not turn the cases sent to our training to our advantage, but are also harmed by them; We receive weapons to defeat the enemy, but instead we injure ourselves with them. Pray to God for her, and reproach yourself, and you will see a change. You also grieve that you are being slandered in vain. Remember how our Lord Jesus Christ, the King of glory, was slandered! Who are we? He is sinless, and although we are innocent in this, in other cases we are much guilty before God; but for those invisible sins, God allows false slander in order to cleanse those sins. Read the conversations of the Monk Zosima in the Rapturous Classes, and in Mark the Ascetic: “The advice of the mind to your soul,” and you will find that you can only calm down when you reproach yourself and humble yourself. March 21, 1859 Most reverent Mother N. You write about the impermanence of worldly imaginary happiness, which your sister N. thought to find in the fate set before her, and what she dreamed about, hoped for and was consoled by; turned out to be a lie. It is not our place to judge, but the Lord will reward everyone according to their deeds (Rom. 2:6); As we become humble, it rewards and consoles us, and as we become proud, it humbles us. Everything here is short and fleeting, but eternity is endless; Through the sorrows here, the Lord leads to eternal bliss, albeit involuntary. But we need to take care of our structure and our soul, we are full of passions, but we dream high, we always read and talk about humility, but when it comes, we won’t bear a word or a glance. That is why one must strive to fulfill the commandments and, seeing the height of them, lower oneself into the depths of humility and renounce one’s will and reason. When you enter the ecclesiastical department, you will no longer depend on your parents and your transition will not be interfered with; but tell me where will you go? You'll carry yourself everywhere! We thank you for your efforts; and those who will help, too. April 25, 1858. Venerable Mother N. in the Lord. You describe what unrest you had in your monastery during the change of abbess. Of course, it’s sad to hear about this, not only to experience it in practice; but did all this really happen without the permission and will of God? He, by His wisdom, arranges it in such a way that the fire of sorrows will incinerate the thorns of passions, preparing N. for her leadership; but sorrow involuntarily humbles the soul and makes it necessary to resort to God, asking for help and protection. He could have averted all this and elevated him to leadership quietly and peacefully, as many are entering; but apparently it was necessary at the discretion of God: who can resist His will? (Rom.9:19). St. Joseph endured so many sorrows, and from his brothers he was sold into captivity and from Pentephry he was imprisoned for two years, he languished in it, having humbled his nose in the chains (Ps. 104:17), his soul passed through iron... and then his soul. Couldn’t God have elevated him to the heights of power without this? But it was clearly necessary. And Moses, the leader of God's people, endured how many temptations and tribulations? He fled from Egypt, with all his learning and wisdom, and was, at the end, in a foreign land; for forty years shepherded his father-in-law's sheep; what kind of work was it? what sorrows did he endure at this time! and for this he was honored to see God in the bush, unburnt by fire; and was sent to Egypt to rid the people of the work of Pharaoh; and not just sadly assigned to this matter. Maybe the Lord leads N along such paths. Of course, she did not seek leadership for herself, God forbid from this; and may the Lord help her to manage the monastery according to His Holy will. Congratulations on your new abbess. The Lord sent you a benefactor, but took him away without completing your needs, but this is also the will of God. I need to find out if he left anyone after to arrange for you. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. May 5, 1858 To your letter, written without a number, as you often do, the most respected N.N., the answer was just about to write: your main questions in it are about the revelation of thoughts, which you find it difficult to reveal to your old lady, and even more so, those that are against her and at the same time you yourself recognize, when you open them, they are no longer repeated. And so, you must conclude from this that this is why revelation is difficult for the enemy, because his intrigues are exposed and his thoughts disappear; and it is necessary to open all thoughts: even if they seem transitory, they all leave a trace of their stench in the heart; and it is still not your measure not to reveal all your thoughts. St. Abba Dorotheos writes about this in the 5th lesson, on page 73: How and to whom to reveal thoughts, and that one should not say one thing and keep silent about another, but say everything. St. Simeon the New Theologian in chapter 122: “It is appropriate to confess every thought to your spiritual father every day” (and for you, the elders). Philokalia, sheet 72 on the back. Also at St. Kaccian in the 4th part of the Philokalia, on page 139, on the back below: “true reasoning does not come unless there is true humility, let us not exactly do what we do, but also what we think, reveal it to our fathers, and let us believe in nothing of our thoughts, but let us follow in all the words of the elder, and let us believe in the goodness of being, even if they tempt us.” And further. There is a lot about this in St. John Climacus; but I leave it to you to read and force yourself to do it, and whatever you hear from the old woman, in response to your revelations, to do, try to do with humility and rejection of your will, even if it seemed better to you in your own way. Abba Dorotheos and St. also talk about this. John Climacus, in the 26th degree or word, according to the handwritten book, chapter 110: “and everyone who wants to know the will of God must first mortify their own will within themselves”; and having prayed to God, with faith and uncunning simplicity, question the fathers and brothers in humility of heart and without any doubt in thought, and accept their advice as from the mouth of God, even if they were contrary to their own reason, and even if those asked were not completely spiritual; for God is righteous and will not allow those souls to be deceived who, with faith and innocence, humbly submit to the advice and judgment of their neighbor, even if those asked were not very reasonable, but the one who speaks through them is the Immaterial and Invisible. That's how much fatherly instruction you have; you must listen to them if you want to be saved. But what keeps you from revealing your thoughts to her is; when you are indignant at her, or when you think about her; say everything without hesitation, for the enemy inflicts thoughts on you, and he also forbids you to open it in order to completely turn you away from it; and if when you see that she is indignant, then at that time you can wait to speak, and then say it; nevertheless, those who served from her words to your humiliation were accepted, although with illness, for they are guilty of healing you from pride and self-love. Do not grieve that you are now not fulfilling your nightly akathists and fasts; and look at the benefit you received from them; they are then useful when morality is softened, pride and self-love are destroyed and we fight other passions; when, seeing our weakness, we internalize humility. Otherwise, you only consoled yourself by fasting and praying, and you were strengthened by self-praise and people’s praise. What does St. write about in detail? John Climacus in the 2nd word, chapter 6 - read it yourself. May the Lord help you to walk the path of obedience and achieve a measure of humility. May the Lord bless your mother and your relatives and keep them in peace and piety, and for your brother, place your trust in the Lord, may His will be done on him. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. December 9, 1858 From your letter I see that your desire is to seek a closure, which you have not yet been able to find. And your main goal is salvation. When looking for the shutter, you find yourself in doubt as to how not to bring a frozen snake there, which could cause spiritual harm instead of salvation. Not finding, at the desire of your heart, a secluded refuge, you must see in this the providence of God, not allowing this to happen. The paths to salvation are different, but they all have a foundation - faith, then denial of oneself; it happens differently, in solitude and in community with others; here it is necessary to have a complete cutting off of one’s will and reason, through which one can be freed from passions and achieve humility, which can be conveniently corrected in a community where our passions are shown to us; and if we have the will, then through patience and self-reproach we can heal from them, but silence is not safe for the passionate. St. John Climacus writes: “whoever is subject to anger, rage, deceit, etc., let him see below the trace of silence.” Read his book and you will see clearly; also St. Cassian writes that those overcome by passions should not dare to remain silent, and St. Isaac the Syrian: the desert does not destroy passion, but covers and lulls it to sleep: he advises those who have conquered passion to go into silence. Pray to God and allow His holy will to arrange for you and grant you the much-desired salvation; what I fervently wish for you. February 27, 1859 Most Honorable Mother N in the Lord! You grieve for me because I do not write to you, and I grieve for you because you only proclaim my name, and do not accept what I write to you and advise. You grieve over monasticism, consider yourself offended, and I wrote to you more than once that you do not understand what monasticism means, and that you are looking for and desiring not out of zeal for monasticism, but out of ambition for the mantle, that you will become a nun of the mantle; This monasticism will be hard for you! It seems offensive to you that they are tonsuring sisters who are worse than you, as you have expressed more than once; and since monasticism is an image of humility, and in order to consider yourself the worst and last of all, and your dispensation is completely opposite, you consider yourself more worthy than others to receive monasticism: what will this serve? Of course, it’s not for salvation and it’s very painful; this will be followed by the desire of the authorities. You desired monasticism, and you received it on your own (Rassophore), but what benefit did it bring? You didn’t even impute it to anything; and now the sacrament is completed; and against my will. I wrote and did not agree; and you boast and call yourself that my daughter is worthy. Who am I and what do I mean? but if you consider my badness to be something, then what is your dignity? Is it something that no one asks you about - that you kept your virginity? This is good, but why didn’t the virgins enter the kingdom of heaven? look at your moral structure, and most of all at your ambitious desire for monasticism! If you want to listen to me, then give up this desire for monasticism. Consider everyone more worthy than yourself; and then the Lord will look at your humility and announce to your superiors about your tonsure, and it will not be for your condemnation, but for your salvation. The Lord commanded us to learn from Him that He is meek and humble in heart, and then we will find rest for our souls (Matthew 11:29), and He commanded us not to seek honor and primacy: but if He who desires to be in you may be last of all and servant of all (Matthew 20:26). And again: everyone who exalts himself will humble himself, and he who humbles himself will be exalted (Luke 14:11). I regret the embarrassment of your monasteries. I wish everything to calm down and the monastery to calm down. March 3, 1859 Your two letters were received from the 19th and 24th, but until now I could not answer for the many letters, and even more for the many infirmities and visitors. It is very sad for me to see such a disposition of yours, and that you do not see it. You harbor anger in your heart against N, she didn’t do you any harm, but if she did, you should have endured it with self-reproach and patience, for God sends people to insult us in order to heal our mental illnesses, but we do not want to accept this medicine. What good does it do you if you write to me, and I talk idlely while writing to you? Again you are indignant at the abbess - at the rude outward treatment for you; What does John Climacus teach? read the 4th degree: he calls the abbot’s reprimand precious; and accuses the abbot if he does not insult his brethren, even innocently. Self-love, pride command you: “I am not a slave”! Are you free from passions? - and you imagine being a lady. Yes, slave of passions! We have neither slaves nor masters, but are all brothers and sisters in Christ; and whoever is humble is closer to God and salvation. You get carried away by the world and thereby create an enemy for yourself. You left the world through wide gates, and entered it through narrow gates. March 21, 1859. Most Honorable Mother N! N.N. writes to me that they had a pleasant time with you and are ready to patronize you where necessary. Currently, you are grieving for N, is it possible to describe to them the reason for her removal and complaints? ask for their protection? - But there is no greater persecution and oppression, then we must endure; however, looking at your concern in your leadership, there will be no sorrows. We are building walls, but for whom? Can those who do not want and do not pay attention to their salvation fall? If we save ourselves, then we will be kind; But in sedition, confusion and constant engagement with the worldly, what is the use? In this case, if you find an opportunity and guilt, then pray to God, ask the bishop to dismiss you from your superiors due to your weakness; although they will consider the reason for refusal to be that they did not give the cross; it's nothing to see. You have enough crosses. If you don’t want to leave your boss, then this is not something the imam is talking about. July 18, 1859 Most Honorable Mother N. You complain about your spiritual sorrows, burdens, melancholy and embarrassment; This is the essence of battle in spiritual life, and one must certainly strengthen and reject one’s will and mind, endure and humble oneself. When you lived with M. N., you had no abuse for yourself; was subordinated, you only wanted to have your own cell, and thought to be at the height of bliss. Well, I got a cell, but along with it I also received something I didn’t expect - melancholy and spiritual burden, and then there’s a friend who is not in the spirit, you see how harmful it is for young people to live according to their own will. I advise you to reveal your dispensation and sorrow to your mother abbess and ask for her prayers; and do nothing of your own free will, do not receive guests often, but receive those and go to those where the mother abbess allows; O. N. also; you need to tell everything to the abbess, and she will judge you, who is right and who is wrong, and the fact that you have malice and hatred towards her is a grave sin. You can’t live alone; even more languor and boredom will overcome you. You don’t understand - it’s your passions that torment you: pride, rage, anger, envy, hatred; how will you destroy them? Then only when you deal with people; and enduring sorrows from them, you will reproach yourself and humble yourself, and not reproach them: then your passions will calm down. Most venerable in the Lord, Mother Abbess N! The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few: pray therefore to the Lord of the harvest, that he may bring forth the laborers into His harvest (Matthew 9:37–38). The Lord spoke these words to his Apostles. Aren't these words also appropriate for our current situation? I heartily rejoice to see well-meaning sisters entering your monastery, seeking their salvation: and enough has already gathered. The Lord calls them and gives them a place to live. Glory and thanks be to Him! for everyone wants to be saved and come to true reason. But this harvest also requires workers, in order to admonish them and feed them with spiritual food, and to walk the right path, not deviating on the right hand or foot, denying their will and mind. They are in the field of spiritual warfare with invisible enemies. How many fights, attacks, plantings, arrows and various intrigues come from enemies? St. John Climacus describes in detail, as well as other saints. the fathers teach us how great this battle is. In support of spiritual wars, it is necessary to give instructions so that they have revelation in their thoughts and battles; through which the enemy’s deceit is exposed. God has placed you as a leader and caretaker over them, so you must care about their salvation and accept revelation, listening to their needs and giving instructions. Read from St. John Letvichnik at the end of the book is an instruction to the shepherd, and have admonition and help for yourself on how to deal with them. If your will is good, the Lord will instruct and enlighten you, and peace will be established in your monastery. But at the present time you are very busy with buildings and your infirmities, then your sheep mourn, not having spiritual food; they come to relieve their souls, to open their chilling thoughts and cannot see you; they will come once, twice, and more, and leave with sorrow, without hearing a single word and without seeing you: not having a solution to their perplexities, they fall into despondency and into murmuring and disorder; and if this increases, what can we expect? They will be looking for someone to talk to, to relieve their souls; and if they fall on the opposite side, they will be even more upset, and will be divided into parties and will no longer care about what they came for - to seek salvation, but will be subjected to many different passions and temptations. What will all this be like for you? So I ask you, after arranging the external structure, take up the arrangement of the sisters: do not deny them their needs, accept them, even if you say one word to console them and resolve their perplexities, they will calm down; and order the cell servants not to prevent them from coming to you. I can see from experience in the monasteries how much harm this can cause. And if you cannot go to the sick and infirm yourself, go and see someone, and see if they need anything? It’s a pity that you don’t have assistants who could, with your knowledge, somehow support the sisters in revelation; that’s why it turns out that the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. What is the use of the fact that the building is raised, the sisters gather, but there is no feeding for them? We see from other monasteries what fruits free living has brought. Courts and investigations have started, and they reach not only the priest, but also the Synod. What temptation does the world have? May the Lord save all of us and your monastery from such cases. September 11, 1859 Most Honorable of the Lord N .... I’ll tell you one thing; about the fact that you were offended for the wrong reprimand: we, as people who have not yet exterminated the passions of self-love and pride, in our opinion, it is difficult to endure an insult that we do not deserve; but if you take spiritual reason into your guidance, you will find that this incident was sent from God to test you and to correct your dispensation; for from such clashes, we learn the effects of our passions, and we try, with God’s help, to heal them through self-reproach, humility and love. Read about this more clearly in the Rapturous Classes, in the conversations of the Monk Zosima, on pages 176 and 177, the beginning of the “verb paki”: you will see how useful such cases are for us; They are responsible for the healing of our mental illnesses. During the movement of passion, we cannot judge sensibly, but when it subsides, we will see our guilt in not bearing insults. The Lord commanded to endure; but what to endure? not when we are guilty and are insulted for it, but when we are innocently insulted, which the holy Apostle clearly explained (1 Peter 2:19,20); and no one can offend us or annoy us, unless the Lord allows this to be for our benefit, or for punishment, or for testing and correction. And when we think about the commandment of God, about love, which even extends to love for enemies, then we will find ourselves unrequited in relation to cases like yours. I suggest reading part 1 of the Philokalia, St. Mark the Ascetic, in the chapters about those who think they will be justified by works, chapter 209, and St. Simeon the New Theologian chapter 31; they can be of use to you. October 31, 1859. I received from you, most respected N.N.. three letters; you complain that they won’t let you go to the O.P.; and this shows that you want to fulfill your will; and what is more harmful than this? What good will this do to you? If you had come here and corrected your morality, then it would have been good; and you come here and don’t improve much, everyone complains about your unbearable character, then there is no benefit from your coming here. You only want to do your will, and don’t look at the fact that there is no God’s will for this, when God does not tell the boss to let you go. We must try to correct our character, to be submissive, and not to become dusty over every little thing; force yourself to endure all kinds of sorrows. And that’s what monastic life is all about, and if you want to go the opposite way, don’t touch me. Where will you end up? You write that you refused the ryassophore: what a good thing you did! When the boss offered it to you, it means she honored you with this image; and you, out of your stubbornness, refused; Well, go ahead like that. When should you write to me? You have an elder there, you could ask her and see the will of God in this; and you have made your will and walk without advice; and who is taken captive by it (Prov.11:6,14)? So try to humble yourself and correct yourself and you will be at peace; and when the time and the will of God come, they will release us too. December 4th. 1859. You asked to resolve your bewilderment, why do you feel calmer when you are alone than in a community with people? Solitude is not always beneficial for everyone, but meeting or community with those who fear God teaches us piety and is a means to fulfilling the commandments of God. Community with those who are flighty and devoted to the world does no little harm to our feelings and affects the purity of our hearts. And therefore, for those who wish to please God, such meetings are painful for them, solitude is pleasant, and because feelings are calmed down, and we, entering into ourselves, recognize the goal for which we are destined; then prayers and psalms are delightful to us. You just need to be careful not to be seduced by this pleasure and not accept a lie instead of the truth. The humble are delivered, but the proud are caught. The Holy Fathers do not allow those who are prone to anger, to deceit and to opinions about themselves to pass through silence, but to overcome their passions by treating people. You, perhaps, have God’s calling to the despised world and abandonment of it. November 1841. From your letter I don’t see anything about your intentions, but your parents with heart disease write to me that you asked them for permission to let you go to the monastery. Your feeling is commendable, and their pain is excusable, out of love for you and affection for the world. I see that you have the title of God, which you must cherish, thank God, who has honored you with it, and fulfill the word given to Him, with the assistance of His grace. He calls us to Himself, commands us to take His yoke, calls it good, and its burden light (Matthew 11:30); this must be believed without a doubt. But I must warn you that faith and love of God are tempted by the contrary; those. There will be various kinds of temptations and sorrows along this path, without which it is not only impossible to be saved, but also to be strengthened in faith. The wise Sirach writes: child, if you begin to work for the Lord God, prepare your soul for temptation; guide your heart and be patient (Sir.2:1). The Gospel and the teachings of the apostles teach in many places about patience. But where there is the true calling of God, he does not look at anything; and having a strong will, he hopes for God’s help. I am sending you the book of St. John of the Climacus, which you read with attention and learn how you should struggle with passions; however, from reading alone you cannot understand as you should, unless you go through experience. Pray to God that His holy will be upon you, and surrender to it, call upon the Most Pure Virgin Mother of God, our Intercessor and Patroness, for help. However, do not rush quickly, test the feelings of your heart, whether it is ready for this calling: if anyone wants to walk after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and come after Me (Matthew 16:24). You must reject your will and reason, and conquer others who can lead you in a saved way; otherwise you cannot learn either humility or meekness; in order to find rest for your soul: although the Lord commanded us to learn from Him, He set an example by being obedient even to the point of death (Phil. 2:8). And through obedience we can achieve humility (as you will see in the 4th degree of the Ladder); and without it all our virtues are insignificant. When you have completely decided on this path, then choose a dwelling, and you cannot choose the one who will guide you unerringly, and about seven pray to God: tell me, O Lord, the way, in which I will go, for I have taken my soul to You (Ps. 142:8). You should not be horrified by sorrows, for they do not happen without the will of God; and God sends them according to our needs and in accordance with our strength; Only the yoke of the Lord is easy and the burden is light (Matthew 11:30). God is able to comfort your parents, and turn their crying into joy, and their lamentation into joy, for your calling; Just be worthy of it, bride of Christ! how big it is! Entrusting you to the protection of God and the intercession of the Queen of Heaven, I remain a desirer of your salvation and an unworthy pilgrim. January 1, 1842. You write, N...., about your reading exercise; This is good! but every thing, even a good one, requires measure and time. Scripture says: “Eating honey is found in moderation, so that you are not full of food” (Prov. 25:16), and again: the time of every thing under heaven (Eccl. 3:1). What is done inappropriately or at the wrong time can cause damage. Read books, calling on God’s help to enlighten you, and try, to the best of your ability, to fulfill what concerns morality; but don’t read it in such a way that you have only one occupation and should not neglect others. You read and understand only one more letter; and spiritual meaning and reason are actually learned. Reading the 4th degree, you say: “I want to imitate for salvation even in the slightest part, even at the end of my life”; - the end of life is unknown, for which one must always be prepared, and one must imitate it, in strength, first, for the virtue of obedience is highly valued, it eliminates passions, and bestows humility and reasoning. One must always fulfill it, but one must not seek spiritual gifts; they are bestowed according to our humility. Without action and self-sacrifice and humility, it is impossible to know true reason. May the Lord enlighten you to the knowledge of His will and strengthen you in creation; To whose omnipotent protection I entrust you, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. I send my unworthy blessing. March 24, 1842. I heartily grieve that I cannot answer your letters to you, believing that with them I can cause grief to your parents, but now, having an opportunity to deliver it to you directly, I write boldly and have no doubt that this will not upset them without reaching them. In your letter dated June 12, you write that you see your passions and spiritual weaknesses, which you have never seen before; and you cannot free yourself from them or leave them behind. Those who begin to go through spiritual life, then usually spiritual warfare rises up against them more strongly; and if we cannot suddenly become winners, then we should not be discouraged and grieve about this, but, seeing our weaknesses, humble ourselves and bring repentance to the Lord. It is dangerous if you see your corrections or virtues; this is a clear sign of delusion, and a falling away from God. A sinner with repentance is more acceptable before Him than a righteous man with pride. Read from Climacus the degrees: about pride, about vanity, about humility, about meekness, about anger; and know your weaknesses. Don't think that you can fix anything on your own. I don't have time to write anymore. God will instruct and enlighten you. I asked N.N. on purpose. come to you, although she is a simple nun, perhaps her word will fall on good earth, and will comfort your parents, and will be of benefit to you. I entrust you to the protection of God and His all-powerful providence. July 23, 1842. Keeping the spark of the calling of God in your heart, beware that it does not go out and leave you in darkness. And therefore, you can, from time to time, calling on the Lord for help, remind your parents with humility about it; and if you abandon your intention and make a heartfelt vow to God to serve Him, you cannot expect good consequences. In July, S.... K. was passing through Voronezh, I asked her to come to you and gave her letters, but due to illness she could not come to you; returned the letters to me; from which yours, as it was sealed, I am sending, and I don’t even remember what I wrote in it, but I am sending it according to the will of God, it seems I wrote for the benefit. May the Lord bless you and strengthen you in the field of spiritual life. I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. October 31st, 1842. I congratulate you, equally N. and N., on the upcoming new year, and on the past joyful holiday of the Nativity of Christ. I know how you met him, and with what joy your hearts were illuminated by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ who loved us. Your hearts are still pure, not filled with the poison of passions, and are capable of receiving the rays of grace. But this cannot last. If you deviate a little from fulfilling God’s commandments, then passions will take over, darken your hearts and deprive you of the light of truth. Our autocracy will certainly be tested, whether it bows to God or to the world; and every person faces spiritual warfare, with the world, the flesh and the devil. And we are so weak that we are conveniently deceived by the charm of the first two, and submit to the advice of the evil one; if we stand firmly in the law of the Lord, studying it day and night, and call on the Lord for help, then we will easily defeat the power of the enemy; but even here, when we go with arrogance, we conveniently fall away from it. If we live in virtue and in fulfillment of God’s commandments, and enjoy His spiritual consolations without having any temptations, then here too we must be wary of the temptations of the enemy, seduction and reliance on our own virtues; and thus he darkens us even more; for he is trying to overthrow us with both his gums and his neck. However, his strength is weak - wherever there is humility; By humility all the forces of the enemy are crushed. And the Lord Himself teaches us this: when you have done all that is commanded to you, say, “For we are unworthy servants; And learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). Here, dear children, is a brief extract of spiritual life, both secular and spiritual. Read Christian and Sunday readings, they are very useful; and it wouldn’t even be bad for you to have them as your own. These two magazines cost 12 rubles a year. silver Will you really not deny yourself this amount of insignificant rags covering and decorating the body for spiritual decoration? Do not believe the vision and hearing of the pope's voice; it was already dissipated last year, and the faint-hearted were afraid, and it was said about 1841; and don’t believe their prayers. This is all the goal of the papists: since the Uniate was torn away from him, they are trying to support the imaginary holiness of the pope. Be strong in our Orthodox Greek-Russian Church, obey her, Her holy dogmas and decrees. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. December 29, 1842. I sincerely rejoice that the Lord, calling you to Himself, strengthens you in this intention, and you do not attribute this to yourself, but give glory to God. “You have two temptations: delay in fulfilling your desires, and intimidation with the words: “yoke and burden.” In the first case, one must be patient, and in the latter: do not take into mind only bare words, yoke and burden: but immediately remember the Lord’s assurance that my yoke is good, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:30), and not in the least doubt God’s promise. There is no time to write anymore. I remain the desirer of your salvation, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius, an unworthy pilgrim. July 4, 1843. Both personally and in writing, I confirmed to you, beloved child and daughter of Christ, that all your work should be dissolved in humility: whether you pray, whether you fast, whether you deviate from the light, or perform obedience - do everything for the sake of God, and do not think that you are doing well. Conceit - this thin arrow of the demons - secretly stings the heart; and its seed is sown thinly; so little by little the Pharisee grows, and then he indulges in complete pride, and this - in the demonic realm. That is why you need to learn to be part of the army of Christ in practice, and not to fight alone with a warrior breathing malice. The only weapon that is powerful against him is humility, for it destroys all his nets and arrows. Prayer and fasting, although great weapons, do not work without humility. But it is very difficult for you to humble yourself - where everything goes your way, no matter how much you humble yourself; but this is nothing against how others humble; Our monastic life is a touchstone, through it metal is learned and purified by its fire. Ask and pray to God to arrange something useful for you. Your pathetic parents do not understand where you can benefit; they see only walls and monastic clothes, but cannot penetrate into the interior of life, and it is inconvenient for them to explain this; This knowledge is bestowed only by experience. - Book of St. Read Ephraim first, part 4, it is completely separate and will be useful for you. Entrusting you to the protection of God and the intercession of the Queen of Heaven, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. August 22, 1843. I do not at all deviate from my word that I have appointed a year for you from June 1843 to June 1844, condescending to the infirmities of your parents. And you must wait for this time, and ask God to inform them about this, and to create careless people for you. Providing for you will not hurt you, and this is God’s providence for you: in this regard, monasteries for men and monasteries for girls have a completely different difference. But this does not prevent salvation, which, most of all, requires humility. I have no fear for you regarding your distracted life and vices, but the most vile thing of all is pride. I’m afraid of this, as if I didn’t have your heart. The enemy is so cunning! He will not deceive with less when he means more. Thinking about ourselves that we have a spiritual mind is very dangerous: especially from just reading, without experiencing it in practice. You have another bare mind, not clothed with action: and you need to remove this thought far from yourself. Think that you know nothing of the news (1 Cor. 8:2), writes St. Apostle. And even if someone has the gift of spiritual intelligence, it is kept with humility. I'm not surprised that you soon read St. Ephraim; you read only letters and ink. May God deliver you from disastrous pride and conceit and grant you true humility. Handing you over to His all-powerful protection, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner Jerome. Macarius. October 9, 1843. Congratulating you on the days of the Angels of your parents, I wish them everything that is good and useful, and that is pleasing to the will of God. When you write letters to me, you don’t spare my eyes, the ink is so pale that I can hardly read it with great difficulty; I ask you to take care of my little eye. Again, you ask for my guidance for your life: I do not miss everything that I see you need; Moreover, as the Lord admonishes me, according to your faith, for the benefit of your soul. You are now still outside the circle of activity; Although you read, you cannot completely understand how each virtue is corrected, and how one must struggle with passions. The story of the virtues and deeds of your fathers seems charming and comforting to you, and your imagination strives to be jealous of them; but through experience you will see your weakness despite all your efforts; and this will serve you to gain humility, which alone will strongly attract God’s help to us. Virtues without humility will not save us; and humility in itself strongly intercedes for us before God. And the humble is granted true reasoning. A proud and conceited person, no matter how smart he may be, before God his wisdom is imputed to violence. Therefore, in order to avoid pride and conceit that come from empty praise and from not fighting passions, read those passages that warn against pride, show its vileness and signs; also about humility, its strength, and how to acquire this inestimable treasure; and about reasoning; St. has it all. John Climacus. Beware of being deceived by your imaginary virtues and understanding; remember that there is something high among men, an abomination to the Lord (Luke 16:15). Don’t even rely on spiritual consolations, they are fragile without the cross; reject them with the hand of humility, considering them unworthy of yourself. And most of all, surrender yourself to the will of God and ask Him to protect you from all the snares and snares of the enemy, and to arrange what is beneficial for you. I am sure that your parents will fulfill the word they gave: to let you go, and God will comfort them with His mercy. Entrusting you to the providence of God and the protection of the Queen of Heaven, the Most Holy Virgin Mary, I remain the desirer of your salvation and the prayer of God, the many-sinful Jerome. Macarius. Born and reclining in a manger for our salvation, may our Lord Jesus Christ rejoice your heart with imperishable heavenly joy. Be worthy of this by true humble wisdom and gratitude for His great vision. In your communication with those people in whom you definitely notice cunning, you must adhere to the rule taught to us by our Savior himself: Be wise as a serpent, your targets like a dove (Matthew 10:16). Combine serpentine wisdom with dove meekness and you will not sin. But if this cunning of theirs extends to the subversion of any good intention, or other kind of harm, then without any flattery you can evade them. In general, it is impossible to combine the love of God and peace (passionate) in one heart, according to the Apostle’s word: whoever desires to be a friend of the world, God becomes an enemy (James 4:4). Be smart, and even more so, ask God for this. Your opinion about your imaginary corrections cannot be praised, which is why it is dangerous to fight the invisible spirits of evil alone; let you not yet be entangled in some foolish passions for which you have no opportunity yet, and the enemy does not fight you with them; but it introduces arrogance, which is the gravest of all other vices. When he himself, being incorporeal, was cast out of heaven for this one sin, he strives to occupy others with it. And therefore, the most merciful Lord allows us to sometimes fall and get confused by some spiritual passions, so that we can see our weaknesses and sins and take care of them, and not look at others’ sins and failures; and even more so when they have not yet been entrusted to us. As if the only thing is to pray for a while, but not eat meat, and not be in meetings? No, God wants us to be humble; for He accepts the prayers of the humble and does not despise their prayers. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and He will save the humble in spirit (Ps. 33:19). God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (Ps. 50:19). These are all the words of the Prophet David, spoken by the Holy Spirit. And he says about himself: it is good for me, for you have humbled me (Ps. 119:71) and before we even humble ourselves, I have sinned (Ps. 119:67). In everything, humility is a necessary thing; without it, no virtue is pleasing to God: if someone does not think of himself as a sinner, his prayer is not favorable before God, writes St. Isaac (f. 55, p. 289.). Consider every proud argument and opinion about yourself to be no small sin, submit yourself before God, ask for forgiveness and help to get rid of it: also ask that He inform your parents about your dismissal to a monastery, where your weaknesses in the fight against passions will appear to you. Asking for you the peace and blessing of God, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner Jerome. Macarius December 27, 1843. I respond to your two letters: I thank God, who calls you to His sweet work, and to His good yoke and light burden, and who has given you a sense of obedience to this calling and a zealous desire to fulfill this intention. Submission to parents by cutting off one’s will is necessary and useful; for you must prepare and accustom yourself to this in advance: there, that is, in a monastery, the first duty is to deny yourself, your will and reason; to which the words of our Savior call us: if anyone wants to follow Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross (Matthew 16:24). Rejection of one’s own will and reason creates a cross or sorrow that serves us for salvation. You imagine now that by the examples of the monasteries you will sooner be aroused to repentance; but I tell you that the first arrow of the enemy will appear for you, to see their shortcomings, and to despise them until you see your weaknesses and passions. Not everyone is perfect, but through those who are imperfect they become perfect; and again those, in turn, are cleansed by others. How could anyone acquire patience if no one insulted him? And how would I know my disposition without those who denounced me? And how would you reconcile yourself? All this will happen to you, and it will seem strange to you; but I warn you that this has to happen, and all this happens according to our arrangement, not without the providence of God. Although you read your father’s books, you understand very little, and only in theory, but in reality you learn more and more clearly. And in this you should see the providence of God, taking care of you, that your parents are taking care of your maintenance, although you did not have care about this, but in your field it is necessary: ​​you don’t need luxury, but you need something comfortable. There are people who live without having anything, but bear great need, acquiring food and other things with the labor of their hands, and accepting charity from others. But your parents will surely not allow you to go to such an extreme, and will not want to bear criticism for not providing you with maintenance; Yes, you are not of such an upbringing that you can feed yourself by your own labors and take away this industry from others; for even their work very slowly gets away with it. You cannot live alone, but you must either have your own, or take in some poor girl; then for your moderate maintenance with her, you need no less... i.e. for provisions, clothing, firewood, etc. In time, you also need to think about the cell, let’s put it somewhere for the first time, and then you need to have your own corner. You can suggest this to your parents, as I wrote to you, but be content with what they give you, even if it’s less; The people of Israel, who lived in the desert for 40 years, and God created many such miracles, will not abandon you, for His sake, leaving the world and everything in it. Be careful about acquiring the riches of faith and humility along with other virtues, then all these will be added to you, according to the word of the Lord (Matthew 6:33). Consideration of the reasons that prompted you to this good intention seems unnecessary; It is enough that love for the sake of God, the kingdom of heaven, and for the sake of a multitude of sins: as St. writes. John Climacus. But simply, for the sake of salvation for the sake of one’s soul, with the awareness of one’s weakness, to fulfill the commandments of God, living in the world and being unable, according to the word of St. Apostle, to be a friend of the world, without offending God; Whoever wishes to be a friend of the world is an enemy of God (James 4:4). After the feast of St. Easter, you, having prayed to God, can propose to your parents about your preparation for entry into the monastery, and about your place of residence. I find the best, as far as I know, the organization of the sisters and monastery of the Sevsky Monastery; although this may seem unpleasant to them, and they would certainly like to place you in E..., because they can see each other more often, and it is more convenient to deliver everything you need; but they do not know the structure of the monasteries, and out of ignorance and out of love for you they desire this, but I am the opposite of this; In time, they themselves will agree with this. And the main thing is that wherever God calls and assigns him a place to stay, he must follow. Entrusting you to the omnipotent protection of God and the intercession of the Most Pure Virgin Mary, I wish to celebrate the feast of the bright Resurrection of Christ with heartfelt joy. I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner Jerome. Macarius. March 4, 1844. You show a desire to deny your will and reason; this is the first step towards pleasing God; but you need to show this through experience, upon your entry into the monastery of those passing this path; and before that time you have a chance for this; first, keeping you in the world against your will is rejection. Second, reject every thought, word and deed that is contrary to the commandments of God; here is this rejection; and most of all, become repulsed by high-minded thoughts that present your corrections to you and humiliate your neighbors. Remember that everyone with a high heart is unclean before God (Prov. 16:5) and the Lord opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Listen to the prayer of the humble, and do not despise their prayers. (Ps. 101:18). The Lord is near to save the brokenhearted and humble in spirit (Ps. 33:19). God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (Ps. 50:19). With such convictions, St. The Scriptures are terrible even to think about their corrections; but the enemy of our salvation darkens the meaning and deceives with his imaginary holiness; from which, both in ancient times and in modern times, many people were deceived and sinned in the matter of their salvation. I often warn you against this, and you watch your thoughts and subvert them by calling on God’s help, and not by your own strength, for in this too the cunning of the enemy can seduce, as if yielding to your struggle, and again plunging you into arrogance about victory over them. And when we do what we do with God’s help, we can no longer think of ourselves. But for all this we must have a lot of skill until we truly recognize our weakness and humble ourselves, and this is not achieved in a short time, but in many ways. Our very falls curb our hesitation and involuntarily humble us. And before God, a sinner with repentance is better than a righteous man with pride. St. Isaac the Syrian teaches: “whoever does not imagine himself to be a sinner, his prayer is not favorable before God” (f. 55). In your letter you called yourself humble (of course, this is out of ignorance), but you have not yet reached this level of being humble. When we acquired this wealth, we would conveniently acquire all the virtues. Yes, even this alone, without other virtues, can save us; and virtues without it, on the contrary, do not bring any benefit. He who acquires humility has acquired God. All these teachings of St. Isaac, a great man. So you should not think that you are humble, but when you think, you clearly show your pride. We must try to humble ourselves, consider ourselves a sinner and the worst of all; but this is not yet humility, but paths leading to it. May the Lord give you true intelligence in discerning things that are called holy. fathers with reasoning, bestowed from true humility. Terrible advice offered to you..., a man known for charms, follow! Thank God that you did not accept it; however, the chaff seeds that fell on the ground of your heart caused hesitation and confusion. I advise you to throw this excuse out of your thoughts. If... he found nothing but confusion in the monasteries, then we can say that he only looked at this, like an animal that entered the master’s courtyard and found nothing good except dung; although this is Krylov’s example, it really suits our matter, for the preachers also borrowed from pagan examples; but I did not see that they (i.e., the monastics) are in a spiritual war, where the enemy, the enemy, the devil, with his principles and spirits of evil, is trying to overthrow those who want to be saved; here is a militant church, not a triumphant one: they fall and rise, they are conquered and they conquer. How would we know ourselves if no one insulted us, and how would we acquire patience and how would we humble ourselves? All this happens not without the providence of God; but by His wise looking, cases are allowed to everyone, to test his will and patience, that can confuse and waver him, so that he may recognize his weakness and humble himself; or would acquire the virtues of patience and love. St. goes out to fight demons in single combat. the fathers strictly forbid the untrained and ignorant of his passions to live with his brothers; whoever dares to do this arbitrarily is seduced by the spirit of flattery and reaps bitter fruits; from which may the Lord deliver you. As the Lord wills, I don’t know where to assign you to walk the saving path of your life. But my desire and opinion are in the Sth nunnery, which is known to me more than others. The time comes, ask your parents to fire you; God is able to strengthen them in health, and will help them with money; for you, for the first time, you don’t need thousands. However, rely on the will of God, to whose omnipotent protection I entrust you, and I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. May 13, 1844. Thanks be to the Lord, He fulfills your desire to bend the hearts of your parents and send you to the monastery. He will undoubtedly console them with spiritual joy. But only because of their love for you they do not want to let you go far from them; then their weakness is forgiven; However, I hope that the Lord will incline them to give their consent and release them to S-k. And you pray to God about this, and surrender to His will and providence. But my reasoning is more useful to you in S-k, I know almost everyone there, and I know their way of life; But I have no idea about E-e, and I cannot warn you what to follow and what to beware of. I wrote to them about this, but I don’t know how it will affect them; Only I feel very sorry for them that they are confused and do not judge by spiritual reason, but by carnal reason. In S-e, I’m thinking of placing you in a cell with N.N.’s mother, whom you saw with us; she is a pious girl, and her cell is comfortable; This is what I already wrote to her about and received consent with pleasure. Here are your two main supports: your cell and good partnership. God bless! Although in the dream... and according to it it seems about... a nun; however, beware of accepting dreams as truth, even if they were definitely true and their events came true; you will be deceived by them, and you will receive considerable harm. Now is not the time to talk about this, you can see for yourself in St. John Climacus that he forbids giving faith to dreams. You know morality... and the desire for it, then if your parents assign it to you, thank God. Your concepts of humility are still insufficient; you can only understand theoretically from the teachings of St. Climacus; and even he, writing about him, considers himself insufficient in explanation; also St. Ephraim and Abba Dorotheus. This is actually better understood; but acquisition is still a long way off. So, may the Lord bless you in your new career, guide you and strengthen you. Yet our deeds are nothing without the help of God; and what I am writing to you will not help without your will and without heavenly help. St. Apostle Paul writes: I planted, Apollos gave water, but God increased (1 Cor. 3:6). Entrusting you to the protection of God and the intercession of the Mother of God, I remain the desirer of your salvation and an unworthy pilgrim, the many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. I send my unworthy blessing to all the children. June 20, 1844. Thank God for everything! and thanksgiving for His mercy towards you, which inclined the hearts of your parents to send you to His monastery; delaying leave may be respectful due to their circumstances; September is not far away. Keep yourself in feelings of gratitude to God and in humility, do not consider yourself worthy of the title; but that He alone, by His ineffable goodness, vouchsafes to call you to Himself. You cannot repay Him with any blessings or deeds, except humility, with which the whole face of virtues will not depart from you; and without it, even if you think you have what you have, you will be deceived; However, one must acquire this wealth not in words, but through experience through life. Now is not the time to talk about this; you don’t understand it without experience. Have love, respect and gratitude for your parents that, although they have heart disease, they agreed to dismiss you from S-k; pray to the Lord to console them with spiritual consolation; have love for your brothers and sisters in the Lord, and have love, respect and condescension for all your neighbors; and mentally imagine yourself to be the worst of them all. This is the true path of salvation; and when, while doing good deeds, you think something about yourself, and already believe that in this you will gain salvation, then this is very dangerous and destructive; from which may the Lord deliver you. I am writing to your parents to ask them to allow you to write to S-I-e M-e about your desire, with the will of your parents, to enter into this rank in their monastery, to ask for your acceptance into the monastery and under its maternal protection. And I don’t know at all what kind of clothes I need, or what needs to be prepared for this; I can ask about this, but I don’t advise you to prepare rich and luxurious materials, but those befitting your rank; but this can be purchased upon entry; After all, they won’t immediately dress you in monastic dress, but you must spend some time in secular dress, according to their custom. For a girl, nothing special is needed, but an ordinary worldly dress; just not too colorful and fashionable. I wish that the Lord will fulfill your intentions and give you help to correct your life according to His will; and may he give spiritual consolation to your parents about your calling; and asking God’s blessing for you, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. July 15, 1844. You, like an unskilled person, having encountered a new and unexpected battle, were extremely indignant, either due to your foolishness or spiritual pride. You already believed yourself to be dispassionate at this point, and were deceived by this thought, not realizing that this was harmful to the soul; and therefore God has allowed you to experience this battle; first, let you learn to fight passions with skill; second, let you always have humble wisdom and recognize your weakness. The reason for this is none other than the necessity of this battle, to receive a crown and to humility. What would you become if you had not gone through the temptation of this battle? Wood, stone, or some other non-sensual thing? And without being tempted yourself, how could you excuse others for this weakness? When you humble yourself, you will be crowned with victory; and if in mental defeat you are embarrassed, and do not resort to humility and repentance, then it is obvious pride; according to St. Climacus: “where there is a fall, pride precedes it.” Don’t be discouraged, don’t be embarrassed, but struggle and run to the Lord, He looks at your struggle and will not allow you to be defeated until the end. Read article 15. St. John of the Climacus and be guided by it for now. Leave about Monday until you enter the monastery. The letters I received from N. and N. I am sending (you see what simplicity and love is in the letters of N. N. and N). Be patient until September with complacency. From N. I also have a letter about what you need, but I’m not sending it; when you write to them, you will receive from them. I remain the desirer of your complacency and salvation, great sinner Jerome. Macarius You see how the enemy seduces you with your imaginary virtues in order to completely betray you to the charms and frenzy of the mind; and you are unskilled and rejoice, thinking that you have already won; How can you think about victory without having already been in battle? The Holy Fathers, through many battles, having overcome passions, became perfect in humility, and through victory they recognized their weakness, and did not attribute correction to themselves, but to God. You will learn this at the place of achievement, when there are occasions to acquire freedom from anger. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner Jerome. Macarius. August 22, 1844. The actions of your heart you described still reveal very little to you your weakness, and what is hidden in this abyss - in the human heart, and what weapons we must take against it. All this will be revealed to you more clearly in the place where you must train in spiritual warfare, there you will see more clearly your victory, and the victory given by the help of God, and not by your own strength. I am not writing to you in detail on each of your points, because there is no great need; It is enough that you described to me your weaknesses, which should serve you to acquire humility. You can come to S.... you can go straight to their hotel: come when the service is going on, it doesn’t hurt to go to church, prostrate yourself before the Lord God and His Most Pure Matter, entrusting yourself to their omnipotent protection: then go to m.i.e.; and there the Lord himself will instruct you what to do. When there is no service, then go straight to e-e. Asking for you the peace and blessing of God, with the desire for true reason and salvation, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner Jerome. Macarius, September 23, 1844. The grief that has befallen your parents and you, again, should distract you, for some time, from fulfilling your intention: to quickly settle into the monastery and walk the right path of spiritual life, at the call of you by the most merciful Lord. But do not become weak in spirit, but bear with patience and comfort them in their sorrow; I purposely address the letter to your name; I don’t know whether you told them about this or not; but it seems impossible to keep this secret for so long; writes to me on October 13 that he is writing to you from... in French. about the death of D. P. V. It’s a pity, but what to do! This is the greatness and hope of this world! How unreliable and insignificant they are! truly like a dream, or a passing shadow. Even if you live a hundred years with all the pleasure, wealth and glory, you still need to appear and give an account of your deeds; on the contrary, with what sorrows and inconveniences our life, and especially our worldly life, is associated. Thank God that He calls you to serve Him in the monastery of the elect and those who have separated themselves from the world. To those who ask you about how sorry you are to leave your parents, you can say: I can’t satisfy your question with words, but if you had the same feeling, you wouldn’t even ask - that’s enough. This feeling is: the calling of God, and an understanding unknown to the people, according to the word of St. John Climacus. Your parents are having trouble finding money, I’ll say enough for the first time, and the rest can be sent later. But they will think it is a shame; false shame; I can even write about this to... and....; will respect my request and wait. Also, there will be no great need for clothing; It’s not like all of a sudden you have to sew all the dresses, you can gradually fix it. The dream you saw, although flattering, you should not be carried away into seduction, as if you are already worthy of it; But rather, preserve yourself with humility, imputing yourself to be unworthy of such visions, and then you will not be harmed. Entrusting you to the protection of God, may He arrange you on the path of salvation, I remain your pilgrim, the many-sinner Jerome. Macarius. October 21, 1844. I already wrote to you that through the death of D., perhaps your trip to S. will be stopped, but in the meantime this has already happened. You shouldn’t grieve and cry so uselessly, much less increase your parents’ grief. Apparently, you also need to have a test on this side. You see how the coincidence of circumstances and all creation contribute to this: and all this can be for the better. Get used to patience here, and there will be even more opportunities for this. I entrust you to the all-powerful protection of God and remain your unworthy pilgrim, the many-sinner Jerome. Macarius. October 28, 1844. Glory to God, who brought you to the abode of virgins who have betrothed themselves to the heavenly Bridegroom Christ, and who work for Him! The Most Pure Virgin Mother of God herself accepted you under Her roof, and at the first step of your entry she deigned to kiss Her most venerable icon. Feeling inexplicable gratitude for this to the Lord and to His Most Pure Mother, try to show it in action by fighting a good deed; but be careful of mental exaltation, as if you are already worthy of this. Remember that our deeds without humility are insignificant; The Lord Himself showed us an image of humility, washing His disciples’ feet, and commanded us to learn from Him that one is meek and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:29). For what? And you will find peace for your souls. How important is this: who was humble? King of glory! And the Most Pure Virgin Mother of God, with what humility she had when it was announced to her about the conception from the Holy Spirit of God and the Word, the Son of God, for the salvation of the human race, did not ascend, did not think highly of herself, truly the Most Honest of the Cherubim and the Most Glorious without comparison of the Seraphim; but she said with great humility to the Archangel: Behold, the servant of the Lord, wake me according to your word (Luke 1:38). And then she magnified the Lord in spiritual joy, saying: look upon the humility of your servant (Luke 1:48). What a high example of humility for us sinners! But all the Saints who walked this saving path, the closer they approached God, the more they saw their thinness and poverty; and with the sorrows and temptations they encountered in life, they always considered themselves worthy of it; which is what made the sorrows bearable for them. “By the Lord and Mother of God, Mother Superior received you with maternal love, and the sisters all greeted you with a joyful spirit. I feel how great and joyful this day was for you - this is the day of your spiritual rebirth. Remember him: December 14, 1844. For the first time I am writing to you in your new abode, and I call upon you God’s blessing and the intercession and protection of the Mother of God; May they protect you all the days of your life from all the opposing wiles and arrows of the enemy, and may they help you in spiritual battles. Feel gratitude to Mother Superior and to the mothers and sisters in Christ who accepted you into their community; thank your mother... that she accepted you into her cell and into the cohabitation of society; others who are worthy and better than you, who have lived for a long time, do not yet have a place to lay their heads. And the Lord arranged all this according to His mercy, and not according to your dignity. You must be the last of all. This time I’ve had enough of a conversation with you; When I receive your letters, I will try, with God’s help and with His admonition, to answer you. Entrusting you to the protection of God, I wish to celebrate the Feast of the Nativity of Christ with heartfelt joy, and on this I congratulate you, your unworthy pilgrim, the much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. December 19, 1844. Having called on the Lord for help, I write to answer your questions, not relying on my own understanding, but seeking admonition from Him, for without Him we cannot do anything (John 15:5). I have already written to you that you must, thanking God, who has called you to serve Himself, humble yourself before His Majesty, and before everyone, considering yourself the least and the last of all; By this means you can only receive His grace and help in all your affairs. Thank God, I see from your letter that you already received the new monastic vestment on the 20th; cry to the Lord: enlighten the robe of my soul, Light-Giver, and save me! (Sacred on Holy Monday). And 24, at Matins, was numbered among the sisters, introduced into the real church (which she writes about...). May the Lord vouchsafe you and the wise virgins to enter the heavenly chamber of the Bridegroom Christ. Try to prepare oil in your lamp; without it, even the virgins could not enter there, and that is why they are called buoys. Everything that has now surrounded you and happened to you appears to you as Favor, so that you would not want to get out of such a state; and you say truly within yourself: it is good for us to be here (Matthew 17:4). But this is impossible: after Tabor’s consolation, Christ’s disciples saw the cross and the suffering of their Teacher on Calvary, and they themselves sympathized with Him, and suffered afterwards. This is how the kingdom of heaven was acquired - through the cross and suffering. However, you should not be horrified by this, but be courageous and ready for what God’s love will show you. And don’t think that all the sorrows will suddenly fall on you: not at all, all this is gradual, and according to our strength and structure, God sends. Otherwise, how could so many weak virgins stay on this path? But if the Lord sends any sorrows, then He strengthens them and enriches us with spiritual gifts; and besides, sorrows are more easily borne by the humble, for they impute those who deserve them to be there. Sorrows are external and internal. I told you or presented an overview of spiritual life; but you need to start from the bottom step; and firstly, to reject your mind and will, to which you will find no small resistance from the enemy who sees you walking this path. But even if one were to receive a thousand plagues every day from the enemy, and from various passions and infirmities, one should not despair, but rather be strengthened in faith. Under the guidance of those experienced in spiritual life, direct yourself to all the commandments of the Lord and, recognizing your weakness in fulfillment, humble yourself. Through distrust of oneself, both in good undertakings and from obedience, humility is acquired, and from this reasoning, as St. Climacus and St. Cassian. Everything is still new for you, and you don’t know where to start, what to ask about, and what to open up to your mother about; – nothing can be learned in a short time; but the Lord will make you wise with many times, occasions and experiences. Meanwhile, take as your guide the teaching of St. fathers: St. Abba Dorotheus, “don’t make up your mind.” and St. Simeon the New Theologian, in the 1st part of the Philokalia, chapters 121 and 122, in the 2nd part of the Philokalia, Callista and Ignatius, ch. 11 and 15, and considering as much as possible, with the opportunity and with your dispensation, open yourself in perplexity, in passionate and proud thoughts, in sorrowful adventures, in condemnation and the like. Revelation, as well as repentance, heals our infirmities and fades away evil thoughts, as St. writes. Cassian in his letter to Leontin the abbot in the 4th part of the Good., and accept the words spoken to you in response to your perplexities with the faith with which you should go to revelation. And since due to many activities she cannot attend to you every day, then ask her permission for this, at what time she will allow you to come for this. It seems to me that it’s enough to go two or three times a week, and write down the rest of the time for memory, and discover it together. In necessary cases, do not be limited by time, but ask permission to enter. If it happens to you to come and they refuse you due to their needs, accept it with humility; or it seems to you (I am writing this in case this may not happen, but the enemy is cunning) that others are preferred to you, take this for granted; and when you are embarrassed, then look at yourself and reproach yourself, and do not abandon healing; for these very cases, if they exist, will be a cure for your passions; Always respecting you is very useless. I don’t find it necessary or useful to go from cell to cell with congratulations, and it’s also inappropriate for guests to make visits; For this reason you will suffer reproaches - be patient; Otherwise, the cell peace may be disrupted. There are cases that cannot be limited, and in this case act with the blessing and advice of N.’s mother; She's more experienced than you. You ask me what do you have in each cell of yours, and what do you have in common? I am not entirely aware of your way of life, and in this regard you must rely on general advice from....; In this case, she was quite tempted, living with...., which is true and.... consent will be established. Do more decent work in your cell; You can clean and sweep your cell yourself; read in moderation, especially active fatherly teachings, fearing speculative ones, even if they bring sweetness, but this is unreliable. Active essence: books of St. Ephraim and St. Abba Dorotheus, St. John Climacus, St. Simeon the New Theologian, in addition to the chapters on prayer, also Gregory of Sinaite, Callistus and Ignatius, in addition to the chapters on prayer, Peter of Damascus, John of Carpathia, Theodore, Elijah, Cascian and Nile, the word of fasting, St. Barsanuphius and St. Isaac the Syrian - but with reason, not insatiably, but in moderation; also the lives of St. fathers and Prologue. And try to read not for curiosity, but for spiritual benefit; while reading, one must strive to do it according to one’s strength; but rather to resist passions, and not suddenly to rise to a high level, but to waste one’s inadequacy, and rather to humble oneself. Know also that “to know the high things of beginners before doing the first” is very harmful, according to the word of the fathers; and when this work leads to humility, then it is according to God, but when it leads to arrogance and arrogance, then it is a nasty fruit. And when to do what, experience and the advice of the skilled will teach you. You must have some kind of monastic obedience and go to the common when you are called. In your cell, try to have peace with..., seeing her such goodwill towards you; and cut off your will as much as possible, in agreement with her will; in your cell situation and everyday life, do not do anything without advice; even more so in such cases when you cannot get a decision from N.’s mother. And if the enemy brought some kind of embarrassment on you, soon stop with self-reproach and forgiveness; and especially one must go to church in a peaceful spirit, because prayer is not acceptable if the imams have anything against someone, or if someone is offended by us. May the Lord and Mother of God strengthen you on this path of piety. Remember the prayer of St. Ephraim: “Hey, Lord the King, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother,” then the sight of your neighbors will go away from you. This is the third day I have started writing this letter; and now it’s a new year, on which I heartily congratulate you; may all your feelings be renewed to please God. Asking for you the peace and blessing of God, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. January 1st, 1845. The merciful Lord does not suddenly send us sorrows, but according to the measure and necessity of our dispensation; sorrows are different, external and internal; and the sorrow that you felt at the holiday is an internal burden; and even our very passions, which chill us, are sorrows for those who want to be saved. And all this in one word St. The apostles expressed to us: through many tribulations we must enter into the Kingdom of God (Acts 14:22), and that those who want to live godly... will be persecuted (2 Tim. 3:12); and St. the fathers, who themselves have walked this path, teach us that every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation; and without that it cannot be firm. This is why I wrote to you about this, that you write - you expect sorrows, but do not know where they will come from. This is also why there can be sorrows when you don’t often go to visit and receive people; but all this is temporary; Usually, they will talk, your heart will be touched, and they will stop. And..., there are already reproaches for you, and this is sorrow; sorrow is useful, for it builds up patience. When you see some infirmities in those around you, or that they are causing each other grief through their words, negotiations, or simply gossip, do not marvel at this, and do not reproach them; This all happens by God’s permission for those who want to be saved, so that they recognize their weakness when they cannot bear it and humble themselves; and by enduring, they receive correction of their morality - humility, deeming themselves worthy of being such reprimands, and they, in turn, receive similar cleansing. You are surprised that although you want to be worse than them and unworthy of this society, you are at the same time ready to despise them, for which, reproaching yourself, you are overcome by the thought of vanity. You must understand from this that your vessel does not yet contain the fragrance of humility, but on the contrary, the stench of pride falls into it; for the enemy uses even your slightest imaginary virtues as a substance of vanity; But you truly cannot humble yourself, and how can you learn this art in a short time? St. Gregory of Sinaite writes in chapter 117: “a person, unless he is overcome by passions and thoughts, etc., cannot have for himself the least and worst of all, and the most damned demons themselves; and this is humility, a special providence of God.” When you see yourself overcome by some kind of passion, you involuntarily descend into the depths of humility, and do not dare to judge or despise anyone. You are afraid to do housework because there is always one thing in your head, but you cannot leave these thoughts. You want to climb to the top of the ladder with one step, because this is your weakness: then humble yourself, look up, ask God, and they will move away; and although they will remain, you must involuntarily have yourself worse than everyone else, as I explained above. Go through this task, as obedience entrusted to you, then you will use it. And treat thoughts of medicine as your first vainglorious thoughts. However, it is not very useful for you to engage in treatment; sometimes the worldly will come to you; which can be seen a lot from experience. You say: you didn’t think there would be so many expenses needed for the first time? I think you should be humbled by this. Look at the poor who enter the monastery, how much does it cost them to get started? and they go the same way; or maybe they will sooner reach the city of the kingdom of heaven. I ask for you the peace and blessing of God, I remain the desirer of your success in salvation and an unworthy pilgrim, the much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius, January 16, 1845. I already have to answer two of your letters; and quite a lot of matter has accumulated, and everything is new to you. In your first letter, dated January 12, you congratulate me on Angel’s Day; thank you for this and for your well wishes. Everything is new to you, and you see that your concepts are small, as if they were small; and even more so against how you may have thought about yourself. “Change whatever you lead, no matter what; and not knowing, as if not knowing”; writes St. Peter Damascene. This often happens to us, but experiences and sorrows are our teachers. When you go to your mother..., then you need to know what you are going to ask about, or reveal what your thoughts, weakness or passion are; You can write it down for memory when you don’t know what to say. You must go praying to God and accept with faith what God proclaims to tell you for your benefit. Read about self-testing and revelation from St. Simeon N.B. chapters 121 and 122, in St. Abba Dorotheus, “don’t make up your own mind,” and St. Kassain, in a letter to Abbot Leontin. It’s not at all surprising that you don’t know how to think about yourself humbly; when every science and art require a lot of learning, how much more does this art of art require more attention and learning from cases, and not from one thought. From your second letter I see that the enemy has already begun to attack you; but do not be horrified by it, but recognize it and resist it, calling on God’s help, and with much humility. How did you think: you write, “that I will no longer hear vexation here,” but I told you both in writing and verbally about this, and you yourself read from Climacus that there will certainly be reproaches and vexations, for the sake of experience and self-knowledge; Yes, you were, it seems you agreed to this, but now you write the opposite. How did the Saints find salvation if not in this way? “Oh, reproach yourself, and not your neighbor”; read St. Dorothea. I placed this matter here for this purpose, to show you a means of self-reproach when you do not suffer annoyance; and look at yourself, how far you are still from fulfilling the commandment of God: love your enemies (Matthew 5:44). The thought that confused you from the words... clearly showed you both the abuse of the enemy, and your weakness, and even more pride. But the proud are ready for the enemy, and he is caught; You lied with your thoughts, but how harmful it is, read from St. Dorofey, “don’t lie about the hedgehog.” The temptation that happened to you in church was not allowed without a reason, but to the knowledge of your weakness, to self-reproach and humility. If you had not been tempted by this weakness, but had always been in the same state of cheerfulness, then you would have looked down on other weak people, and praised yourself mentally (probably this was the case). In future, in such cases, do not be embarrassed, but humble yourself and do not despise anyone; when you are embarrassed, then your secret pride will be revealed; and the devil is comforted by it; but he is afraid of humility. The fact that the thoughts of the highly intelligent must be revealed and not be ashamed; the enemy forbids this in order to occupy them more; You yourself are not able to resist them, but by exposing yourself to others, you free them and show that you hate them. Here is a mental feat for you, but in case and in deed you need to strive for love, for patience, for humility and self-reproach; You have learned from experience that when you are opposed to something, your chest hurts, but when you reproach yourself, it goes away. Thank the Lord that He called you to the monastery and gave you good mentors and cohabitants; although M... reproached you, it should be considered a blessing that you see your weakness. Chapter 31 of St. Don't forget Simeon. Now your weakness has appeared in relation to your family, which you had never imagined before, reproach yourself for all this, and open it to your mother... Regarding the division of time you described, it seems that 2 hours of reading is plenty after tea; an hour is enough; It is written: Find honey and eat in moderation, so that you are not so full that you vomit (Proverbs 25:16). Is it possible to do some chores around the house or something else? Also, sewing a lot, I don’t know if it’s good for the head? but time and experience will teach you everything. May the Lord bless you and strengthen you on this path. Peace be with you! I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful hieromonk Macarius. January 30, 1845. I think you already know that .... she moved into the future, with a righteous, blessed death, without any suffering that preceded her illness; May the Lord accept her soul into the kingdom of heaven and rest her soul with the righteous; she deserves it! I didn’t even think that I would accept this news so cowardly; I feel really sorry for her. What is the position of E.M. now? and I.M. God alone is able to strengthen and console them in this sorrow. This is the fate of earthly beings, sorrows and joys alternate like days and nights until we move to our true fatherland. And these are the fruits of disobedience: for this reason, obedience is the healing of our illness - passions. You see in yourself a contrary action when cutting off your will; This is because you have become accustomed to your will, and it is difficult to cut it off; and when you force yourself to do it, it will be easy; make sure of this from the 4th article, St. John Climacus and St. Abba Dorotheus, “don’t make up your mind.” This teaching is not a theory, but from experience and doing. Of course, it will be difficult for you to remain alone, without... for the first time, without skill; you can get used to absent-mindedness, being alone in your cell, you will go out to visit guests more often, but in this, follow the instructions of your mother, and do as she blesses; Of course, it’s not good for you to go into prison either. I remain the desirer of your salvation and the unworthy pilgrim, the sinful hieromonk Macarius. February 2, 1845. On Tuesday evening, i.e. the 13th, N. came to us....; but since it was a postal day and it was already evening, they couldn’t write to you at the post office, but I’m already writing with your sisters, who are leaving early tomorrow to visit you at their monastery. At this very hour I received your letter and the one sent by mail dated February 9, and I am answering you for both together; and I’ll say the last thing first: you must follow your mother’s orders... Regarding how to behave around the cell and the monastery, this will be useful for you, in the absence... When you feel bored and cannot entertain yourself with activities, then go to... and announce to her that it is seven; we must endure, because our love for God is also tempted by this. You write that you benefit from my instructions; and I advise you to attribute this to God; for He, in His mercy, in vain your faith, admonishes me to give you advice for benefit; I myself am the most passionate of the passionate, and of the weakest, the weakest and laziest in doing good. – And it is true that you still do not know anything and do not understand yourself, and have not yet recognized your weaknesses, and only thought about correction; but this was hidden from you. This is a very thin enemy arrow. You tested yourself in obedience to the lamp, trusting in yourself that you could; found herself weak; What is there, what kind of burden? don’t move decks, or otherwise exhaust yourself with labor; but your vanity was exposed, and you were embarrassed, which should humble you; so in other cases, similarly, if you are not tempted, you will not humble yourself. The wise word of the mother...: “I am glad that the pillar has fallen” should teach you humility, and when you are embarrassed, your pride will clearly show. Both humility and pride gradually accumulate and multiply. And it’s wonderful how the enemy makes virtues a tool for pride; and how, on the contrary, our efforts, misdeeds and weaknesses humble us and attract the mercy of God. Those led by worldly wisdom do not comprehend this; but our spiritual mentors revealed this wisdom to us in their teachings; when you actively go through your spiritual life, you will learn this truth from the writings of your fathers; and now you are reading, but it does not yet touch your concept. The incident that confused you through N.’s answer, may it be your teacher in future to be careful, and according to your mother’s instructions... answer such questions with ignorance; and even more so in church, try to avoid conversations, and be content with a short answer when asked. Having repeatedly received benefit through revelation from your mother... do not stop continuing this, and do not listen to the advice of the enemy, which turns you away from everything; and on this subject read in the chapters of St. Theodore of Edessa 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, and you will see there what intrigues the enemy sets up, just to tear you away from spiritual work, and by his own will to force you to follow the obstinate path of imaginary virtues, and to blind you with pride. I am very glad that you found in your mother... the support of your life, and I am very grateful to her for her attention to you: you must thank the Lord that He brought you to her; in another place you could go arbitrarily and arrogantly, and make a mistake. May God grant that this spiritual union will remain between you forever. You ask what advice consists of, and what difference it has with obedience. The advice is more related to equality, and whether you want to accept it or not is up to your will; and obedience requires unconditional submission; and therefore the mother does not take on this responsibility; It is not denied to give advice on what is needed. You should be happy for that, and it doesn’t hurt to ask for blessings in the main cases, where to go, or what to do. Experience will teach you everything. She cannot take upon herself the opening of your conscience, fearing her own spiritual harm, but whatever you need, she will surely not leave you, she knows. In her absence, beware that no one fills your ears with anything unhelpful about her; After all, everyone has their own concepts, this should not be surprising. About the death of L. I wrote to my people back on February 5, but I think they are already known from V. What to do, who can resist the will of God? You are making a mistake when you say: “I would like to exchange with her”; Everyone has a limit from God. She accomplished her feat, and you still have to strive in the field of life. May God's blessing and the all-powerful protection of the Mother of God be upon you, I humbly pray, much-sinful hieromonk Macarius. You will receive the letter, of course, having put on the attire of the brides of Christ, for which I congratulate you, and you try to adorn yourself with the wedding attire in order to be brought into the chamber of the heavenly bridegroom of Christ. Your unworthy pilgrim, the sinful hieromonk Macarius. Thank the Lord, we spent the first week of St. I fasted safely, although I had quite a lot of trouble, but the Lord strengthened me in it. Somehow you came across this feat, which was completely new and unusual for you, but life-saving? You noticed in your concept the mistake of considering yourself worse than everyone else; and if you thought that you had such a structure, or now you think, then you are still driven by conceit. This science must or can only be learned through much work and skill. We are not considered humble when we only humiliate ourselves, but when, having been humiliated by others, we are accepted without embarrassment as worthy of it. Also, our spiritual barrenness must involuntarily reduce us to the depths of humility, and the passions that torment us have the same effect. (In active chapters 117 of Gregory of Sinaiti and 115, also about humility). Divide the time into different classes of reasoning with...., with the blessing of the mother...., according to your strength. Remember the teaching of St. fathers that “whatever a monk does, we fight from one demon, but what we don’t do is from the darkness of demons”; It’s better to work that way. I do not advise you to copy the Psalter, and because there are many of them printed; but you need to write things that are not in print and can be used mentally. You can write some kind of prayer for your mother, in memory of you; and you start copying the monastery patericon that N.N. took from me; I told her how to write so that she could write one book out of two; this book will be very useful for you. Try to write out the alphabet more firmly first, be patient with this. Yes, watch the Slavic spelling, where to write e, and where є, the latter is written in the plural; also o and ѡ, has a difference, the latter means the plural, written inside the word; but you learn this from practice and from observation. There are many incorrect spellings in these books. I wish you, spending your fast reverently, will joyfully reach the feast of the Resurrection of Christ. The sinful hieromonk Macarius. March 5, 1845. I wrote to you in response to your letter written on the 23rd, where I mentioned that I received a letter from your parents - they were rushing home, leaving the children in a better health situation. Their fear of failing the exam is empty. If he also becomes an architect, what will he lose for the future when he is an honest man? and when he is a minister and a bad man, he will only gain the glory of this world. That's what worries them - love of fame and ambition. They never have boundaries. Nowadays you hear almost every day prophetic words to God: do evil to them, Lord, do evil to the glorious ones of the earth (Is. 26:15); Why would this be needed? Wouldn't it be better to ask for their benefit? and another prophet has this to say about them: a man who is in honor, without understanding, is likened to foolish cattle, and becomes like them (Ps. 48:13). That is why it is obvious and necessary to turn them to the true path through misfortunes. People often desire things that can harm them; that delights the senses but darkens the soul; but the Lord, loving us, does not allow us to do this, despite all our efforts. Isn’t it better to obey God’s providence in this, to whatever degree He wants to place their son, and then be satisfied. I have written a lot before about these subjects, but it has little effect on them; through which they themselves become the cause of heartbreak. May the Lord Himself enlighten them to the truth. You are now correctly dressed in duckweed, I congratulate you on receiving St. The Most Pure Mysteries of Christ. May they be for your salvation, I wish and pray, many-sinful hieromonk Macarius. March 6, 1845. Well, you waited for your mother, you experienced what it was like to be alone; all this is for your benefit. Exhaustion in the service is also good for you, so that you do not rely on your own strength, and do not look down on those who, like you, are zealous, but exhausted, sometimes indulge themselves in not being in church; but you don’t know their cell stay. When writing about your household exercises, you say: “chopping wood”; It’s not your strength, except to split a small piece of wood, but I don’t advise you to take on a large one. I wonder if I made a mistake, instead of putting it, I wrote kola. Your insensibility seems to be a new phenomenon for you; it does not happen without guilt. These words: I don’t understand and don’t recognize myself at all, prove that you imagined something about yourself; and now, involuntarily, you have to consider yourself worse than everyone else. In spiritual achievement, and even more so in growth, it is impossible to always burn, but you are allowed to cool down, in order to feel your poverty all the more; and this thought would be planted in us, that we are worse than everyone, unfeignedly, but truly; then grace itself will give us help and confirm us in good things, until we again become exalted in our thoughts and lose it; to follow the rule, consider for yourself how best to find the time; You can also divide it in two to make it easier. Do not be embarrassed for the impurity of prayer, but chastise yourself and humble yourself, appealing to the mind to the spoken words. Entrusting you to the protection of God, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, much-sinned hieromonk Macarius. March 2, 1845. The eve of the holiday! and I write to you as if it were a real holiday, and greet you with a joyful Christian exclamation: I congratulate you on this great and joyful holiday of the risen Lord Jesus Christ. May He vouchsafe you to joyfully spiritually meet and celebrate it. Do not be carried away by sadness that you are not meeting with your own people; this, perhaps, will strike you as a thought, darkening your spiritual joy about this glorious event. And you turn with gratitude to the sweetest Jesus, that He has deigned you to be counted among the sisters who work for Him and have one intention - salvation! Waiting for your notification about yourself, I remain the desirer of your salvation, the many-sinful hieromonk Macarius. April 14, 1845. Little by little your weakness is revealed to you, and you see how unreliable hope itself is; you thought that you had entered a monastery, then your grief has already flown away, and meanwhile you see yourself still lying down, and in this there is God’s mercy towards you, teaching you to know your weakness, and so as not to despise people in anything; and when you look at others in their weaknesses, you yourself will be subject to all this. The Holy Fathers command: “If you see someone young going to heaven, stop his foot,” i.e. do not allow it, because it will fall into pride, from which it is difficult to heal, and its consequences can be very bad. You are now worried about your parents, and even more so about your sick mother; How could you help her, even if you were with her? Leave this to the will of God, and follow the calling of God yourself. If people in worldly life are separated from their parents and husbands to distant places, do they leave their parents? and they have no complaints against them for this; and they live there quietly; - You did not leave them for a perishable bridegroom, but for a Heavenly one, then how much more should you moderate your grief for them. Read from St. Climacus st. 3. and about the dream of how one should resist these enemy arrows and imagine the ascetics of piety who left home and parents: Rev. Eupraxia, Euphrosyne of Polotsk, Rev. Euphrosyne under the name of Izmaragda, Pimen the Great, Theodosius of Pechersk and many others, who were all truly rejected by the world; and you, in vain, are still far from this, humble your wisdom, and try to imitate them to the best of your ability; Where there is humility, there you will find God’s help. And this should be a lesson to you, although you celebrated the bright holiday with heartfelt spiritual joy, in the community of sisters working for the Lord; but on the day of your angel, a mournful letter about your parents greatly saddened you; in spiritual life this always happens: either consolation precedes sorrow, or sorrow precedes it. These changes give rise to hope and humility. Only there are different sorrows, both worldly and spiritual; but it’s too early for you to know about this, but accept what God sends with gratitude and indifference; do not be exalted in consoling feelings, and do not lose heart in sorrowful ones; and this is the bliss of the meek, as St. fathers. You lied in vain about your Angel’s day, and for the fact that you did not correct the name day, no one has the right to exact it from you; they would talk, but they would stop; even the mother could... say the first thing: that it’s not your own cell, and the second thing is that I didn’t advise you, the newcomer, to have such fees. It is impossible for someone not to find out about this when you raised the images and served a prayer service. Write the skete patericon, may the Lord bless you, for your spiritual benefit, and read others who have it: while writing, I advise you not to lean your chest on the table, but to keep yourself away from it, so that your chest does not hurt; This has been proven by experience. Are you asking what you should do when they ask you to come to them on the occasion of your mother’s illness? Give yourself up....; It seems to me that you can console them, visit them, but for a short time, and not hang around there for a long time. They do not understand the way of spiritual life, they think that it is still possible to pray there, etc., but now you have partly tempted this and that life; I truly found that this is a true school, and we cannot be seduced by imaginary virtues, but they will immediately show how far we are still from real life. And there the praise of people and demons, and one’s own opinion would lend another hand to imaginary good deeds; but if you still lived at home, then it would be no wonder to end up in a mental hospital. Some of the worldly people call this: “reading too much,” but it should be said: “fell into delusion.” If you don’t go to them, then you can’t come to us either; when they find out, they will be indignant at you; but you won’t bear it. In your previous letter you mention more than once about your pride and as if you respect it, flaunt it like some kind of utensil. We must eliminate it from ourselves by all means; it is the cause of all our evils and vices. Worldly people still consider it virtue and nobility; and this is due to ignorance, or from the darkening of passions; and we need to resist him in everything with humility and self-sacrifice. When the heart is touched by reproof, it is a sign that it is infected with a disease, see Simeon the New Theologian, chapter 31, and 29 and 30; and St. Climacus writes: having rejected correct or incorrect reproof, he rejected his salvation. Start little by little, don’t trust yourself, don’t rely on your own reason, reject your will, and the Lord will give you true reason; What am I a zealous desire for you, the much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. Your parents sent their children away to a distant place to gain earthly glory and honor, and do not think about returning them to themselves; and you went to seek things above, they reproach you for abandoning yourself, about which I wrote to them many times; I won't now. N.... elevation does not please me; If he is not firm in religion and in the faith of the Orthodox Church, then what is the use of honor and glory? - only here. It is not for nothing that the Prophet prays to God: do evil to them, Lord, do evil to the glorious ones of the earth (Is. 26:15); so that their souls do not perish; for, according to St. David: a man in honor, without understanding, was likened to foolish cattle, and became like them (Is. 48:13). Worldly wisdom, violence is before God; and spiritual wisdom seems like a riot to the world; but the wisdom of the flesh is enmity against God, for it does not repent of God’s law, for it can do less (Rom. 8:7). I am writing to answer your question about your attitude towards your mother in everything....; I know her zeal and disposition towards you, I appreciate it and I feel my gratitude to her for admonishing you, inexperienced, in spiritual life; I ask her, and continue the same thing in the future, for she, having lived with you, sees your inclinations, sometimes imaginary goodness can turn to your detriment, and you take her advice. But having a perfect relationship with her may be a burden for her; and why, you don’t understand this yet, because you are very inexperienced. Treat .... in such cases that depend on her decision, as the head of society appointed by God; you have experienced this, that you have received peace through revelation, you must hold on to this; If the thought confuses you, that I haven’t explained everything, don’t worry; you look at your intention and desire to explain everything. And when you are embarrassed, you know it is from the enemy. May the Lord guide you on the true path! The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius May 15, 1845. From the incidents you described and the consequences from them, you can see the exalted Self! You couldn’t believe that you weren’t peaceful on N.N.! – i.e. that she could not sin. “So arrogance took hold of you, or wanted to take hold of you.” Are you tougher than Peter? but he also suffered rejection. How does pride blind? which prevents you from seeing and knowing your weaknesses. We read that in any case humility is needed, and the word forgive; but you need to show it in your deeds, but you spent two days in self-justification and didn’t say sorry. St. Climacus writes: “having rejected correct or incorrect reproof, he rejected his salvation.” Faith and obedience do not consist in this when we obey for the holiness of deeds and for the correctness of what is commanded; no, first it is allowed to test about our mentors; but, after surrendering oneself to their obedience, one should no longer look at their shortcomings. Faith is tempted by the contrary, and from obedience humility is born. You hoped for yourself that you would do this; and the consequence showed that you are still far from this. However, there is no reason to be timid, you are in battle, you have fallen and risen, and by falling we are punished for humility. For know that where the fall followed, pride preceded it. I reminded you that you cannot always be on Tabor, you also need Golgotha; otherwise it is not useful to have only spiritual pleasures, without sorrows; this is a dangerous path! You mention the emptiness and futility of life - this thought is not empty, but also comes from pride. Tell me what do you want to see in yourself? Any grace-filled gifts? Spiritual consolations? tears? joy? admiration of the mind? But you didn’t have time to come to the monastery, and you climb into heaven; and such the fathers command to overthrow the valley. You see how proud we are, everyone wants to see that we are “I” and not nothing. It’s not enough that there will be emptiness, but we will also suffer many falls until we come to terms with it. How little is your understanding still in the spiritual mind - do, and do not seek gifts; Above all, look at your sins like the sand of the sea, and grieve over them. Read St. Callistus chapter 43, Gregory of Sinaite 117 at the end, and St. Ladder in the 26th step, about what reward God gives for deeds: for some before the deeds, for others in passing; for others at the end, and for some at death itself; this is according to the measure of each humility. Is it our business to look for fruits in ourselves at the wrong time; it is a sign of pride; and even in emptiness and in spiritual grief one must descend into the depths of humility, and not say: “Where can we look for salvation”? “That’s the trouble, that we all want to see sacredness in ourselves, and not humility; in words we seem to resign ourselves. It is not the beginning, but the end that crowns the matter. Walk more quietly, you'll get there sooner. May the Lord enlighten you! The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. Again, I tell you: do not be discouraged by battles, you will become more skillful, and you will receive salvation. May the Lord forgive you for your misdeeds, and I forgive the sinner. May 19, 1845. Do not think that you can quickly learn the spiritual life; she is the art of art; not only theory, but also practice is needed; and with it there is a lot of stumbling and rebellion. You write that you were heartbroken by my reproof, “so much so that it went to your head.” This should show you your weak dispensation, which will be corrected by self-reproach and humility. If I only pat you on the head, then what good will it do you? Do you see how you felt the transformation in yourself to...; what is this from? from your arrogance; You had so much confidence in yourself, you thought that you would never move; You are allowed to experience your weakness in this, which may very well be the same in other cases, when you rely on yourself for something. You are called to go home in order to see b...., but your feeling extends more to your mother, grief about her mental illness, and you are in a difficult situation - should you go or not? You are waiting for my decision. I'm not averse to this; but remember the words of the Savior: if anyone wants to come to Me, let him deny himself (Matthew 16:24); and this is interpreted to consist in the rejection of one’s will and reason. .... in response to your question, she told you that you shouldn’t go; and N gave you sound advice that, having no will over you, you should be calm; and I do not contradict them, but agree with them. It may happen that instead of healing your mother’s mental illness, you will add to it; - the joy of meeting you, instead of benefit, would not bring harm; and again separation is even more dangerous. When they keep you there for a long time, who will guarantee for your feelings that there will be no change in them? I have seen this from experience, and with quite old people. Br. It’s not far away, you can have a chance to see him every year. So, it’s better to abandon your intention to go, write to them that it is not your will, and calm down. May the Lord correct your path according to His holy will; have humility and finality according to His holy will. Barsanuphius. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. May 29, 1845. Today is the feast of St. Apostles Peter and Paul, and I congratulate you on this, and together with the day of the Angel...., may the Lord strengthen him in a new field of service and communication with people according to the commandments of God. But you and I are faced with a different type of service, but not civil, but military-spiritual. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, and against the powers, and against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against the spiritual wickedness in high places. (Eph.6:12). The Holy Apostle Paul advises Timothy: You therefore suffer evil, for Jesus Christ is a good warrior (2 Tim. 2:3). This also requires suffering; This war is fierce - it is not the body that fights, but the soul; not with visible man, but with invisible spirits. You need courage, strength, intelligence and intelligence; everything is spiritual, and our spiritual weapons, about which St. The Apostle mentions Ephesians (in chapter 6, vv. 13-17). And with all this there must be great humility, for we are fighting with proud spirits; then it costs them nothing to defeat the proud; but they cannot resist the humble for an hour. Humility crushes all the snares and machinations of the enemy. You, being in this struggle, are still far from learning to practice. Your words show humility, but in reality you don’t have it; therefore there is no internal one; you are looking for tenderness, you are embarrassed for not finding it, and therefore you consider yourself worthy of it, and you do not truly reproach yourself, seeing the deep-rooted ulcer of pride; at every step your pride and conceit are shown to you. You wrote to me that you wanted to open everything... and it was presumptuous; Now, from experience, you see the enemy’s intrigue resisting this - it was difficult for you to say that you were touched by her words. - What does it mean: to suffer misfortune? force yourself to gain peace of mind with a little shame; After all, it is not you who are ashamed, but the enemy, for through this revelation and self-shaming his treachery is exposed. What does unworldliness come from if not from him? Remember in the word of St. Kacciana to Leontin the Abbot, what is said about revelation, and when you forgot, then read it. It is difficult for you to force yourself to expose the enemy, because you see in yourself only feelings of gratitude: but the enemy resists this, envious of the possible benefit; and when you open it with humility, then everything will be abolished. Do not be afraid and do not retreat from the feat, even if you receive a thousand plagues a day, everything will flow towards the feat set before you. You can’t be safe when it comes to passion, but it should still humble you more and more; and do not judge those whom you hear suffering from this illness; but God will cover you. – always say..., albeit with compulsion; You will be careful, not arrogant. – Remember that from just reading and understanding about spiritual things we cannot have a spiritual understanding about them unless we ourselves go through them through practice; and what would be the point if you had no battle within yourself and no training in practice, but only knew that they exist and remained at peace? You would only have a false and inactive mind, and you would fall into arrogance, and then into delusion. Thank God that He teaches you spiritual warfare and shows you your weakness and foolishness, so that through them you humble yourself and attract the grace of God to yourself. Regarding abstinence in food, you cannot suddenly cut off your custom; St. the fathers set three orders for eating: abstinence, contentment and satiety; and not one image is prescribed for everyone, but according to the measure of each dispensation; some may need more food, while others may be satisfied with less; only it is necessary to cut off whimsical food, and when the body becomes weak, also when there is abuse of the flesh; in any case, have self-reproach and thanksgiving to the Lord, as St. writes. Barsanuphius. Again, I repeat to you: do not lose heart in the mental warfare inflicted on you from the invisible enemy of our souls, even if you inflict a thousand plagues on a day, do not retreat from the feat; renounce your will and reasoning. God is good and merciful, He will not allow you temptation beyond measure, but what is necessary and useful for learning; consider yourself the last of all, and do not think that I care about you more than about others; spiritual kinship unites more than carnal kinship. ....acted very wisely with you, sending you a bow with all the title. It touched you; What's so tricky about that? you must definitely tell her this: ask for forgiveness for the embarrassment, and thank her for her wise reproof. What would be the point if she didn’t apply spiritual healing to your newly born scab? Thank God and her, otherwise you will never receive healing for your passions. We should arrange ourselves this way: get ready and not be embarrassed (Ps. 119:60); and until then, though: they were confused and did not speak (Ps. 77:6). When we try to see ourselves worse than everyone else, then this is destiny; and if we are embarrassed when exposed, then this will show us our insignificance. May the Lord enlighten and strengthen you in this Orthodox path, I earnestly wish. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. I’ve been writing a letter for two days, and I finally finished. June 30th, 1845. It doesn’t hurt to participate in grief... and it doesn’t hurt to console it with the fact that everyone has their own cross, and it is not sent without the will of God. Of course, after battle there must be peace, according to the teaching of St. fathers (Peter of Damascus): “all ours are purely, army and intercession; fear and hope; labors and reward; but not before the first the second”; however, with the hand of humility, reject from yourself the opinion that you are worthy of it. Grace knows when, whom, and with what to console, and when to deprive it of it. - About abuse pl. follow the instructions.... It is impossible not to feel war, but one must have a difference in the agreement of thoughts and the bending of the will. Attribute the victory to the help of God; and the reason for victory is pride, which you often don’t even notice behind you. There are other reasons besides the natural one, see John of Carpathia, ch. 16 and 18. Diadochos 99, there are many in other fathers, Climacus, etc.; try it yourself. Seeing your bad state of affairs, reproach yourself and humble yourself, consider yourself worse than everyone else. This is not yet a problem, but when you see yourself in an imaginary good dispensation, then trouble is close to delight. I entrust you to the protection of God, great sinner I. Macarius July 22, 1845. Thank you for congratulating me on Angel, and I congratulate you. God grant that peace be established between you, but spiritual warfare is necessary; through them we become more skillful, and in our victory we recognize our weakness, and we already reject all self-reliance; but this cannot be learned in a short time, but through much labor and feat; for everything that ripens early is fragile. Keep this in mind, and do not be faint-hearted in adventures, but cast your thoughts down, considering yourself under all creation: he who humbles himself will be exalted, and he who is exalted will humble himself (Luke 18:14). Write and listen to what is written; in the throes of passions, do not be faint-hearted, but resist them to the best of your ability and humble yourself; and the Lord is your helper and protector! Many sinners I. Macarius. January 22, 1846. You write that you are now at peace in everything, and you are afraid whether this will be of any use? Do not rely on this peace of yours, there will also be battle in the knowledge of your weaknesses and the seeing of your passions; However, do not be afraid of this, God sends according to the best of our strength, as we can endure, so that we learn in battle and come to humility; and true peace is born from true humility, to which you are still far away. However, remember that “from obedience comes humility,” and try to follow this path; and even more so when you have felt the spiritual benefit from it, although the enemy is trying to distract you with various embarrassments; but this comes from the fact that the enemy is jealous of your benefit, for He hates the voice of affirmation. And, according to your faith, God proclaims to tell you what is useful; and without faith you will lose the benefit. Beware of arrogance, guard against idleness: great harm comes from these, and avoid opinions about people; It will seem to you like something that is not there at all, and it will confuse you. Peace be with you. I remain the desirer of your salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. 1846. Recently, it seems, you and I have been talking quite a lot about everything that was necessary; and about spiritual battles, which must be overcome by self-reproach and humility; Now learn this from experience: stand firm, even if you fall, you will not break; do not hesitate to rise up; The enemy will run out of weapons completely. I can't write anymore. I remain the sinful I. Macarius. 1846. Do not be embarrassed that you fall in the struggle of passions, but humble yourself, curbing your pride in your falls. And thank God for this, having strength in..., strive for those means that benefit you; I speak; distrust your reason, and subvert your will; Do not reject correct or incorrect reproof when you do not want to reject your salvation. All these activities will lead you to the knowledge of your weaknesses and humility. One must fight against every passion and contrast it with virtue; against pride - humility, against gluttony - abstinence, against envy and resentment - love; but when this is not the case, then we will not reproach ourselves, humble ourselves, and ask for help from God. Read about envy and resentment from St. Abba Dorotheus, how to deal with them; and at St. Climacus. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. Many sinners I. Macarius. August 27, 1846. The merciful Lord, visiting us with permission to see our weaknesses, shows through them our pride, through which we fall in thought, so that we may humble ourselves and find the mercy of God; you see it for yourself. What happens during a storm is something to be terrified of during the calm; and then everything is drowned out. Cast down the pretexts of original thoughts, kill the infants of Babylon with a stone, while they are still babies, and have not grown in size or strength; kill them with prayer and humility. Write a book and read between work, it’s good for you. Peace be with you. Many sinners I. Macarius. September 16, 1846. .... Fall and rise, repent and humble yourself better than one who does not fall and who does not repent and does not humble himself; from fighting we learn art. I. Macarius. October 8, 1846. Where there is no light, there is darkness; and where there is no humility, pride covers our entire structure with darkness. From your first lines I see the awareness that pride allows you temptations and falls. This is truly true, as St. fathers who themselves have walked this path. Whoever, walking the true path of obedience, little by little acquires humility from everything, seeing his own shortcomings, cannot even imagine that through struggle he will be skillful, and will be useful to others; but he only sees himself as evil and the last of all. In such a mind, temptations and falls make one chaste, humble and lead to repentance and true mind. Otherwise, they inflate and open the way to those who have fallen down. You know from the teachings of St. fathers, that obedience is such a virtue, without which no one who is entangled in passions can enter the Kingdom of Heaven; you know its properties; choose this reliable path for yourself, cut off your mind and will; then the enemy will not dare to offer you his reasoning when you follow the advice of others who, according to God, take care of you; Moreover, God Himself takes care of you, for the sake of His will, submitting and rejecting your wisdom, and proclaims to tell you for the benefit of your soul. What did Abba Dorotheos do? He asked about his every undertaking, even if his thoughts contradicted him; and well - “from obedience comes humility, and from humility comes reasoning” (John Climacus v. 4), “And the very thing that shows thoughts to the fathers is done by the weakest,” writes St. Cassian. And the flattery of the enemy cannot hide in the heart, praising even for obedience, which is driven away by self-reproach and revelation, and even more so by God’s help. The abuse that happens to you may be, and many are to blame, and from arrogance, and opinions about your corrections, which you are accustomed to seeing in yourself at home, and here you are not left behind. Pray to the Lord that He will allow us to see our sins and not our corrections. May the Lord guide you and strengthen you on this path. God's peace and blessings to you all! Many sinners I. Macarius. October 22, 1846. The cases you described clearly proved your mental weakness, which stemmed from arrogance. By cutting off our will, albeit with the shedding of blood in self-denial, we acquire humility; and are by no means far from the idea that we do this. We must do good, but not think that we are doing it; and even more so, as if by his own strength. We will always find shortcomings and less than perfection in our endeavors. We must learn from experience that even with difficult work and self-sacrifice, if we attribute it to ourselves, then we not only lose the reward, but also fall into various passions. The Holy Fathers, for all their godly life, considered themselves worse than everyone else and under all creation; because through many trials they recognized their weakness and, having humbled themselves, received God’s help in their deeds. You, relying on your cutting off of the will, imagined that you were correcting virtue; and this is how you act in all cases, through which you acquire the inner Pharisee, leading to delusion. It is also God’s mercy to you that you were allowed to fall into such confusion, so that you would know where it comes from, and through this fall you would be wise in your opinion. I believe that you copied the superscript from the book of Nil Sorsky; I advise you to read it with attention, and you should read his book itself: where battles, victories and defeats are clearly depicted on us, and how a passionate person can receive forgiveness for his sins through the daily grace of God. And about the cutting off of will and reason, read from St. Climacus, at Abba Dorotheos, at St. Simeon the New Theologian, by Theodore of Edessa, then you will see his height; and contrast your insignificance with this, which will show you how far you are from fulfilling this virtue; and by forcing yourself as much as possible to do this, you will avoid the opinion that you are doing it. Do not be discouraged that you do not achieve the perfection you imagine, but even if you receive a thousand wounds every day in your struggle, do not retreat from your feat - humbly explain your wounds and ask for forgiveness. Why did you stay confused for two days? Is it because you did not expose the serpent that had crept into your heart? Learn from experience humility, prudence and reasoning. I wish that in your training you will not be faint-hearted, but with the help of God you will recognize your weaknesses. May God's peace and blessings be with you! Many sinners I. Macarius. November 9, 1846. From your last letter I see that the grieving relatives are consoled for the holiday of the Nativity of Christ; and they greet it with a feeling of joy and gratitude, satisfying the sadness of life. But in all things let the glory be to the Lord; “Lord, not to us, not to us, but to Your name give glory” (Ps. 113:9)! Your stay in the monastery has completed two years; thank God for bringing you here and showing you the right path. Give thanks for the joy sent, but do not get carried away by it, lest you consider yourself worthy of it; and that in the interim there were times that were bitter, difficult and languid, then it is impossible to do without it. In a sensual war, many are wounded and suffer illnesses: even more so in this spiritual warfare, many wounds are received from the spirits of malice, and even more so when we rely on our strength and reason, then we are overcome, until we resign ourselves, having recognized our weakness. “Where the fall followed, pride preceded it,” writes St. Climacus. Have the cutting off of your will and mind as a compass in your life; however, remember that “this requires feat and bloody labor even to death,” according to the words of Elder Paisius, placed in a letter to Priest Demetrius. And the enemy is increasingly armed against you... in order to shake this holy foundation. Read from St. Theodore of Edessa chapter 40 and further, by what wiles the enemy rises up against those who live in obedience. When you follow the teachings of St. fathers, then your whims will be destroyed; but you will no longer think that you do not have them, and with the enlightened hair of your soul you will see your sins, like the sand of the sea. Know that humility does not consist in seeing that you are humble; and read about this from St. Climacus, with Abba Dorotheos and St. Peter of Damascus. Overcome the habit of slandering your neighbor by self-reproach and awareness of it. One must judge N. differently; she came at such an age that it was already difficult to have spiritual training; but the path of salvation will not be taken away from her; but we don’t need to get carried away with ourselves that we are better than others; but consider yourself the last of all; This is what spiritual intelligence and spiritual training consist of. I wish you to spend the holy days of the holiday peacefully and greet the New Year reverently. I remain the sinful I. Macarius. December 24, 1846. “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and authorities, and against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against the spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Eph.6:12); likewise, the weapons of our army are not carnal, but spiritual, capable of destroying the strongholds of the enemy (2 Cor. 10:4), about which St. also writes. Apostle; “For this reason, take up all the armor of God, so that you may be able to resist on the day of cruelty (Eph. 6:13), and so on. He commands us to gird ourselves with the truth, to put on the breastplate of righteousness, to put on our noses the preparation of the gospel of peace, to take up the shield of faith, in which it is possible to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one, and to receive the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (Eph. 6:12-17). Armed with these weapons, we must begin to fight with much humility, and not with arrogance; and that this warfare is necessary for those who want to be saved, the wise Sirach also incites: child, if you begin to work for the Lord God, prepare your soul for temptation (Sir. 2:1), and so on. And no matter what kind of temptations follow, how to strengthen yourself in them, read from St. Macarius of Egypt in the 7th word, 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, also in St. Isaac the Syrian words: 34, 35, 36 and 37 and in 51 words part, and in St. Abba Dorotheus. You see that those who want to be saved inevitably face spiritual warfare with the enemies of our souls: who fight and defeat us through our own passions; what I see in your dispensation, which you described. The envy and hatred that torment you are not newly born passions, but secretly lurking passions in your heart; and by chance irritated and convicted. According to the teachings of St. Abba Dorotheus, like “how harmful plants are hidden in the ground during winter, and no one sees or knows about them; and when the spring moisture and warmth of the air touches them, they grow and can be freely expelled; so are our passions, about which the Psalmist writes: the sinners have always grown like grass, and all who practice iniquity have permeated, let them be consumed forever (Ps. 92:8); those. when they appear to us to lead us, then they are destroyed; but not suddenly: “whenever someone moves against the action of rpexa (writes St. Dorotheus) and begins to brother and against what is in his mind with a passionate thought, he humbles himself, laments, strives; and sorrow for the sake of exploits, little by little it is purified and ascends into the natural. In the same way, just as someone is embarrassed by foolishness and presumption, when he is cold from passions, but even more so, with humility he must eat according to his own measures, and endure, praying, until God will show mercy to him. If someone is not tempted and sees sorrow from passions, he will strive lower when he has been cleansed.” And above: “And passion, if it is cold for us, we should not be embarrassed in any way: for someone who is cold from passions, madness, and exaltation is to be embarrassed, and because they do not lead their own structure, and because they run away from work, as the fathers decided.” But you yourself read this entire teaching from page 82. You also know the teaching of St. John Climacus, the more conveniently passions are conquered and destroyed, as he says in the 4th degree: “St. the fathers consider psalmody against demons to be a weapon, prayer to be a wall, unfeigned tears to be a bath, and they called blessed obedience such a virtue, without which none of those entangled in passions will see the Lord.” And above he teaches about the faith that we should have towards those who care for us, and what kind of obedience to show, from which humility is born, with which you can also overthrow your pride, which you complain about, and which is to blame for your confusion. I know that the enemy offers you severity... and so on; but about this St. the fathers warn us: at St. Theodore of Edessa chapters 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, and you try, having examined yourself better, to follow the teachings of St. fathers; and the thought of separating yourself from... move far away from yourself if it bothers you. Making up your mind and will can bring very bad consequences. Read in the 2nd letter of Elder Paisius to Demetrius the priest, what three renunciations are presented to those who want to enter the heavenly palace while wearing a crown. Reject excuses, both mental and verbal, when you are reproached; because, having rejected correct or incorrect reproof, one’s salvation is rejected, according to the word of St. Climacus. The inconvenience of fulfilling the rule confuses you, but this is also a plot of the enemy; for obedience is more important than fasting and prayer, in which you would have to give yourself up to reasoning.... If the enemy presents it to you as strict, then this seems to be in accordance with your dispensation, but to the extent that God’s providence arranges it that way. A special cell will not bring you any benefit, but only your own will and food for opinion. Here I have outlined it to you according to the strength of my concept and according to your faith; use sim. May the Lord guide you to the best and strengthen you in spiritual warfare. May God's peace and blessing be with you all. I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. January 18, 1847. In my last letter I wrote quite a bit to you; read more carefully and apply it to your organization; try to correct it; Now I don’t have time to go into the details of each case; but it seems that something was hidden in you, which, out of pride, you could not completely reveal to your mother..., which is why you do not quickly receive peace in the battle and storm of passions that has arisen against you. When you understand yourself better, you will find the reason - self-love and pride. I advise you to take a better look at yourself, and what you don’t see in yourself, then ask....if she notices something in you; Sometimes one hidden thought leads to many disasters, but when it is revealed, it immediately brings peace. Have faith and you will be saved; everything that is not from faith is sin, and be afraid to form your mind and will. I wish to hear from you about your complete peace in this battle, and I remain the great sinner I. Macarius January 27, 1847. I am sad about you in my heart that when you fight passions you do not have strong weapons against them, self-reproach and humility; but on the contrary? with little correction or endurance, self-praise and pride appear. I reminded you of many passages from the teachings of St. fathers, how to go through the struggle with passions, and not be embarrassed by that very victory; but humble yourself, recognizing your weakness, and instead you look at your corrections, and for that you again plunge into the ditch of falls. Isn’t it better to try to see your failures, both present and past, rather than get carried away by Pharisaic pride: and the very prayer now read in church: “Lord, Master of my life!” about this he extends himself so that, along with other virtues, he may have humility and see his own sins, and not judge others. The means to acquire humility is obedience and rejection of one's will and reason. You know all this, and you stand on this path: do not let the enemy laugh at you and turn you around with his will and mind. Read all these articles that teach this and affirm this: St. John Climacus Art. 1, 2 and 4.. St. Abba Dorotheus, Simeon the New Theologian, Theodore of Edessa 40 and further chapters, Callistus and Ignatius ch. 14 and 15. To what extent are your enemies shaking you, who are trying to overthrow you from the good foundation of obedience, and lead you with self-indulgence and self-thinking, according to their evil will, so that later you will taste their bitter fruits. Again I repeat Te6e, do not be discouraged by the chill of passions; not only you, but all of us, and the fathers and mothers who were before us, have walked this thorny path of passionate arguments, many falls, and after the uprising they humbled their wisdom. St. Nilus, in the preface to the prayer to the one who asked him about this, writes: “burning me with the flames of impure passions, you cooled me with kindness, with the touch of your God-loving writings, my exhausted mind was comforted in the most shameful way.” Seek, too, to cool the flame of your passions in the writings of your fathers, and with the rejection of your will, unflattering obedience; These will serve you to subdue passions and to acquire the much-coveted world in due time. N.N. I send my unworthy blessing; I wish her complacency and patience in illness with thanksgiving, through which the soul receives health, cleansing itself from sins. I remain a wisher for your health, mental and physical, many-sinful I. Macarius. You ask for forgiveness for your crimes, may the Lord forgive you, and I, the unworthy one, send you my forgiveness and blessing. But I must explain it to you for strengthening for the future. Although you wrote about your weaknesses and victories, and always recognized your mother as your benefactor; but this is visible only in words, and not in the heart; for as soon as I see, you still strived to live according to your own will and “like everyone else lives.” She never explained this to me. No matter how much I wrote to you, you were receptive to my words: you are deaf, do not hear. Your arrogance darkened you so much that you could not pay attention to anything useful to you. How much has been written and said about this, that in order to overthrow proud passion and acquire humility, you need to withdraw your will and mind. You were sure of this, and found that the Lord had sent you a mother who could be your leader. But how then did the enemy sway you, that you agreed with your mind and will, that you wanted unpunished freedom? Where would it take you? into obvious and incurable delusion! You read a lot of your father’s books in order to follow their teachings; and you, out of the darkness of passion, considered them nothing! This is our battle; it is not to blood and flesh, but to principalities and powers, etc., to spirits of wickedness in high places (Eph. 6:12). How are they defeated? Humility, self-reproach, patience, obedience; and not by conceit, self-indulgence, arrogance and other passions subordinate to them. I wrote to you about the struggle with passions and not being embarrassed in defeating them; but more so in resistance; and you voluntarily submitted to them, and it got to such a point that you wanted to leave of your own free will. But you have not yet experienced what such people suffer, and you see little from human examples in appearance; those who suffer more from their internal dispensation, and are always unsuccessful in their spiritual dispensation. May the past battle be a lesson for you for the future, and may the enemy not rejoice in tearing you away from spiritual nourishment. You must feel how close you were to the ditch of many different falls; and thank God that He, through patience, condescension and admonition, turned you to the right path. Stand firm, do not trust your reason and deny your will. The Lord is your helper! I remain the desirer of your salvation, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. Remember that those who remain in obedience are seen by the enemies of our belly, demons, and try in every possible way to tear them away from it. Be careful not to submit to them, and you will be mocked. I am sending you a booklet of life and letters, Art. Paisiya, read and use. In battles, resist with humility, as it is written and shown to us from the fathers; and if it happens to fall, rise again; and know that because of your pride you will be tempted by them. Run to self-reproach and humility, and not from your cell. Donde, the monk will not be erased by various temptations and sorrows; he cannot recognize his weakness and humble himself. To you and... I send my blessing, great sinner I. Macarius. March 8, 1847. Weak N, do not lose heart, overcome by passions; do not give them autocracy; but cry out to God with a touching voice: “I am full of immeasurable passions, and I have descended like a whale of evil, but raise me from corruption, O God, as I did before Jonah, and by faith grant me dispassion.” And similar hymns to St. John of Damascus in the Irmologus, the eight voices found in the 6th canto; Seeing that you are overcome by immeasurable passions, you involuntarily “pour out a prayer to the Lord, and to Him you will declare your sorrows, as if your soul is filled with evil,” and so on. Be aware of your weakness, ask God to free you from the work of passions. You know that freedom from passions comes from obedience according to the word of St. John Climacus; but the enemy resists this and raises against you the battle of envy and lust and self-will; he could not have accomplished anything if pride had not preceded your falls. If .... they prefer you, you put yourself worse than her in your thoughts, then this passion will disappear; and love for one's neighbor prefers them to one's own advantage. After falls, there is only one remedy - humility, awareness of one’s weakness and asking for forgiveness while blaming oneself. Read the chapters of St. John of Carpathia and Peter of Damascus book, you will find great spiritual benefit. Passions involuntarily humble you; and if she had stood without falling, she would not have known the severity of the battles and her weakness, and she would have considered others who were cold and overcome to be insignificant. Now look how insignificant you yourself are, and worse than everyone else. The Lord looks upon humility, and we, who do not know how, calms us down. I remain the wisher of peace, health and your salvation, much-sinned Hieromonk Macarius. I congratulate you on the approaching day of your Angel, may God grant you to spend it spiritually celebrating. Let's look after ourselves, where are we? Are you in captivity in Babylon? Shall we also sing the songs of Babylon? Oh, how shall we sing the song of the Lord in foreign lands (Ps. 136:1)? How shall we celebrate with the sons and daughters of Zion, who are now in captivity in Babylon? Although we left Egypt, do we not turn there with our hearts? The lust for onions and garlic and the desire for the cauldrons of Egypt (Ex.16:3; Num.11:5)? All this, if we see it in ourselves, or in part, let us humble ourselves and fall before the Lord, who created us and wants to save us. He will fight for us, subdue the tongues and overcome them (our passions); and we will not trust in ourselves, but in God, who raises the dead! I’ll tell you again; that even now there is the serpent, Eve and Adam and the tree; and we are always subject to temptation and deception: sensuality is the seducing serpent, Eve is our will; mind - Adam; Sensuality seduces, the will agrees, and the mind, having listened to the will, falls. So we eat the forbidden fruit every day, being overcome by various passions. So let us stand on guard, doing and preserving: noticing our passions, resisting them, and humbling ourselves in weakness: this is why they overcome us, because instead of humility we have exaltation. I ask for God's peace and blessing on you; I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. April 15, 1847. From what you described, I see how your conscience bothers you about your guilt against....; but when you repent of it, you should calm down. Remember your proud and passionate disposition, and humble yourself in any case; humility alone can bring you calm and peace. Your arrogance was the reason for everything; the passions that had penetrated you could not distinguish what they are from your confused dispensation; and now there are still traces of envy that disturb you.... And when you put yourself in the last thought of all, you would surely find peace. And now look out, beware of the machinations of the enemy, against....; when you see her being praised and preferred to you, then try to humble yourself even more, knowing that you have previously suffered from similar cases, and were so blinded that you did not see this harmful effect in yourself. What fruits did you reap? Confusion, sorrow, deprivation of peace, and so on... whatever I write to you, there will be one theory; you must learn in practice how to truly humble yourself and prefer everyone before yourself; Through this you will not lose, but you will gain. WITH.... be unanimous and always prefer it to yourself, not only obviously, but as an internal guarantee in your heart. If you have peace and love in the Lord, then I will also have great consolation from this; Otherwise, I don’t know what to say? Time will show! And my true desire is for you all to be saved. I remain with this desire, the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. July 1, 1847. Do not be faint-hearted N... about the past, but be wise in the present and future; having recognized your weakness and lack of understanding in everything, disprove your proud opinion about your concepts and corrections, consider yourself as nothing! Kind, smart.... talks sense into you, truly like a sister. I am very pleased with her, and you should never reject such accusations of hers; be one mind in the Lord. and try to reassure...., humility, love, trust and frequent revelation. Maybe the enemy will again shoot an arrow of envy into your heart, and against....; pluck it out with love and humility, and the memory of what you suffered. May God strengthen you in true intelligence, humility and love for the Lord. Your previous mistakes you described, which you just did not explain in detail, may the Lord forgive you. Get started and don't be embarrassed. Peace be with you. I remain the sinful I. Macarius. August 4, 1847. I congratulate you, who have received the Most Pure and Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ into this fast; may this great gift be to you for the remission of sins, and for the sanctification of soul and body, and for the enlightenment of the spiritual mind. Self-awareness of one’s weaknesses and self-reproach is a reliable beginning to correction; but it should be far removed from the conceit that she has already corrected herself. This is again the same pride and the path to fall. – I repeat to you many times about the rejection of my will and reason; but it’s easy for me to speak in words, but you have to show it in action, although with difficulty, but later it will bring the fruit of peace. Accept my desire to acquire true spiritual intelligence for you from the sinful hieromonk Macarius. August 12, 1847. N.... You participated in the painful.... ; I have no doubt about your true love for her and her love for you in Christ. May the Lord preserve peace and spiritual love between you forever; this will be a great help to you on your path of salvation. Reject self-thinking and do not believe, even if it seems contrary; the enemy is cunning, sets up various intrigues to catch the faint-hearted and frivolous; May the Lord preserve you from this. In dark moments, we must have self-reproach and humility, considering ourselves worthy of it, and giving rise to this through our pride. Art will show you what to do; You can retire for a while, pour out your soul before God; and communities don’t run; handicrafts are fun. When there are no external crosses, then you must have an internal one. The grace of God tells what, to whom and when it is useful to send for the benefit. Blessed be the name of the Lord forever! Be peaceful, calm and healthy, this is what I.M. wishes for you. March 16, 1848. Congratulations on the Feast of the Ascension of the Lord. May the Lord give you peace and health. I answered your long letters, grieved for you, and wrote as much as I could to console you, but what are my words? God is our refuge and strength, our helper in the sorrows that have come upon us greatly (Ps. 45:2). Resort to Him, and to the Most Pure Mother of God, our intercessor, the Queen of Heaven. She is the intercessor of our salvation. Both of you have been visited by a new grief, illness...., what to do? manage such perplexities, and learn the skill, and you yourself can do something; all the more will you value your servants and humble yourself - that without them you are no good. I'm very sorry about both you and her. May the Lord give her health and this consolation to you. Your inability to tidy up your cell things should involuntarily humble you, and you should not be proud of your other talents, if you have any; Take advice from your sister with humility, love and gratitude, and if you notice something in her, you can also remind her with love and humility; and the word of Scripture will be fulfilled on you: we help brother from brother, like a city that is strong and fenced (Proverbs 18:19). The spiritual weaknesses you describe show you that you are still far from correction: through humility, self-reproach and constant compulsion, with the help of God, our affairs are corrected. And love for... will be tempted and confirmed by opposite cases; which I have told both of you many times. Do not hope and do not flatter yourself that you can acquire anything; and even more so when you think, then it doesn’t exist. Let not you be the eldest, but each consider yourself the lesser; and if you are busy with housework, then consider yourself a servant, and thank God that He vouchsafes you to serve your neighbors; The Lord said: “Whoever wants to be in you, let him be the servant of all, the least of all and the last of all (Mark 10:43, 9:35. Matt. 23:11). And again: He did not come and let them serve Him, but let Him serve (Mark 10:45). Yours and mine, I repeat to you, let it not be between you; when we intend to surrender all of ourselves to the love of our neighbor for the common salvation; then what is the value of everything that is outside of us? When there is a struggle, we must also have resistance, where the manifestation of our weakness will appear, and in the fall itself we must have a quick uprising, and humble ourselves. When reproached by others, reject embarrassment and consider these incidents sent from God for your gain. “Reproach is strong, but praise makes a weakened soul,” writes St. Ilya Ekdik. Humble yourself in everything and consider yourself insufficient, then God will make you wise and give you help in your battle against passions. I send you my unworthy blessing, and wish you peace, health and salvation, sinful hieromonk Macarius. May 20, 1848. Thank God that you are little by little calming down and calming down in your little cell, then may peace, harmony and love in the Lord be maintained between you. And with... try to keep peace, without delving into any petty disputes. I don’t doubt your zeal and.... I don’t doubt it at all, and I thank you for it, but to always be with me is both impossible and useless: with whom will you acquire patience and humility here? from whom will you suffer reproach or contempt? How do you recognize your structure, proud and self-loving? All this training is appointed by God for you between your sexes, under the guidance.... I, for my part, am ready, as much as I can, according to your faith, either personally or in writing, to answer you. – Now, in a short time, you came to know your weakness “about the cross”; and thank God that she soon humbled herself and was at peace: continue to do so, both of you, so as not to remain stagnant in embarrassment for a long time; and let each cover the weakness of the other with patience and love; then peace will remain indestructible between you. The medicine you have taken will surely serve as health and healing for your mental health, and further as science; mother.... tells you the truth; listen to each other with love, without rejecting advice; What one does not understand, the other enlightens, and God is in your midst. The absent-mindedness of thoughts in the church cannot be praised, but it is not our measure to seek a high dispensation; when singing some verses, a feeling of consolation is given from grace, but to those who have cleansed themselves of passions; and we, who are passionate, must consider ourselves unworthy of this and humble ourselves; when we humble ourselves, we will not be deceived. And St. Macarius writes that the feeling of consolation is characteristic of the deepest desert, remote from any community; then it is not suitable for us who have a relationship with people. Peace to both of you! I remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. May 25, 1848, I also confirm. I'm truly sorry that you suffered during the holiday. What to do, maybe you yourself are to blame, you caught a cold in your youth, and now the consequences continue. That's right, you're being hypocritical; when she has already... blessed you to have dinner after the all-night vigil, then why should you present yourself better than others? By agreement with your sister, you don’t have to have dinner when you both have the strength. Overcome by envy of an empty thing. But in choosing your sister over you, the law of love tramples envy; Try not to submit to this passion in the future; but, noticing it, drive it out with prayer and love. May the Lord preserve peace between you; about which you try as much as possible, with humility and love for each other in advance. A case of embarrassment.... on me showed you both your weakness; thank God it passed soon; and henceforth, do not allow it to creep in for a long time, but must be driven out with humility and explanation. I wrote about your desire to live following the example of Elder Paisius and Vissarion..., it seems the time for such unity has not yet arrived; – what time will show next, then we will see. Pray to God about this, may he drive away from you the passions of love of fame, pride and love of money, then perhaps your desire will come true. Refrain from being seen by others as much as possible, and then you yourself will get rid of the inclinations. The cause of discouragement and fear, of course, is our sins. You remain in trust in the will and mercy of God, caring for the fulfillment of St. His commandments. Peace to both of you! The sinful hieromonk Macarius. May 5, 1848. You describe the events that happened to you in a few days that show your structure. From this learn how to continue to act; If you make a mistake, reproach yourself, repent, and henceforth make a start for correction without arrogance; Try to have peace with your sister, avoid disagreements and disputes; and warn each other with love and humility, not being offended for this, but giving thanks from the heart. Are you asking me to instruct you on how to act when your pl...? It is impossible not to have a fight, but it is up to us to win or be overcome. When there are strong impulses, one must abstain from food, as well as from seeing, hearing and speaking, and have moderate sleep, and at the same time have a contrite and humble heart. Without the latter, the first ones help little. When you are defeated, know that you are being punished for arrogance and for judging others. Humble yourself and the Lord will save you! Read the books of your fathers about this passion, and try, to the best of your ability, to do what they write for our teaching and reinforcement. Be peaceful and calm, I wish this for you, great sinner I. Macarius. June 8, 1848. Having written to you in general, now, especially with each one, I will talk: you say that you have no reasoning; this is because you do not have humility, but are driven by conceit. I always remind you: each of you should consider yourself last before the other, and do not do without the advice that you ask from each other, not with insistence and perseverance, but as Elder Vasily writes: on sheets 172 and 173. - Always look at your weaknesses, passions and sins, and have humble wisdom; and do not think about corrections; and don’t look down on others and don’t judge them. While standing in church, it is useless to entertain yourself with extraneous thoughts to drive away sleep; but in both cases one must humble oneself and look down on oneself. – After the all-night vigil, you ask, should I read prayers for the coming sleep? when you are tired and weak and cannot, then read: undefiled, unglamorous. And: give us, Lord. The Lord is more philanthropic, and so on. It doesn't seem to bother you that much. I repeat to you again, beware of conceit and arrogance. I notice that in your letters you reproach yourself a lot; it is necessary that in reality it corresponds like this; and this is very necessary. Peace be with you! June 11, 1848. I spoiled you by writing all kinds of mail; but even now I don’t want to leave us in doubt, and even if I talk to you briefly..., and if you start writing briefly, there will be a lot. For the first time, when you start purchasing your cell, you are afraid - how will you live? and so on. There is no need to be overconfident, but I believe that it will be much calmer; you are masters here too in your own way; God is able to help you, if only there is agreement between you. - I am not burdened by the description of the incidents and shocks that happen between you - write; Just I repeat many times, do not become rigid with self-reproach in the explanation, and consider yourself each to be the last and knowing nothing; and accept the advice given to each other out of love; although you are confused when you reproach yourself, through the very shocks, you will recognize your structure and weakness, and with the help of God you will come to correction. You ask: how can it be that everyone treats you better, and you use the word I, me, etc. in orders, which could be... insulting? It seems to me that you need to use the words: we, us, since you are not alone, and you do not act with your face and mind alone; and when they approach you or your face, you must warn them that you are not alone, but have an agreement with your sister in everything; then there will be no harm to you and it will not offend her. “I reproach you a little: you complain that you stood in church, preparing for communion, without any feelings, like a tree.” This is because the day before, when... I was washing, and I asked you about this, are you going to wash? - you said: “you need to cleanse the soul, not the body.” Did you feel that these words were out of pride? You should understand this, but not pronounce it; and for humility and condescension towards my sister, I should wash myself; it does not interfere with the purity of the soul and the body being clean; but it seems you didn’t have the first one. Everyone who is high-hearted is unclean before God (Prov. 16:5). Is this how I write? do you accept this as true? Don’t complain about this... that she, revealing her conscience, lied to you. When you, preparing for the sacrament, destroyed yourself in thought, you would not consider yourself to be purifying the soul, but would consider yourself the worst of all; St. the fathers, no matter how holy they were, considered themselves under all creation. You say....smarter than you; smarter or not, I cannot say, but she has been conditioned by sorrows since childhood, and involuntarily humbled by them, she may be more reasonable in things, although she has not yet achieved the gift of reasoning. But you both need to prefer each other to yourself, and consider them the most unreasonable. The Lord sent you M., whose instructions and care for you bring me great comfort. God save her! May the Lord bless you, and may the Mother of God intercede for you. I remain the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. June 15, 1848. Yesterday I received your letters; and today I found a little time to write to you. I allow you to have community and, if necessary, entertainment with.... and...., but I advise you to first be blessed by M. Abbot. and when she approves of this, then it will be good. – As there is an outcry, there is a response; I don’t refuse anyone, I write to everyone who asks about anything; and I don’t attribute the power of the answers to myself, but their faith, according to which they receive, is not from me, but from God; and I am only a small weapon moving in this matter. You ask about the cross being made on a sore spot, when someone gets sick, should they do it? This is not shown anywhere in the scriptures; but the cross is useful in every undertaking; but here I don’t know what to say; Wouldn't she be known as a wonderworker? Don’t you understand how it is: “it’s up to us to win and be conquered”? How could it be otherwise? the excuse of some nasty thought comes; It is your will to accept it or reject it; when you combine with him and become one, you are already captivated and defeated; and when she rejected the pretext, she won. – But do you want to know about the lustful movement? if it simply moves, without our will, but from nature, this is not victory. But one must not enjoy it, but despise oneself, ask for help from God, and find guilt in oneself; for, besides nature, this warfare is allowed, for exaltation, for condemnation, for excessive rest and permission (for food). St. has detailed information about all this. Isaac the Syrian in the 77th word. Thank God that you are at peace with each other. I ask for God’s peace and blessing upon you, I remain the great sinner Hieromonk Macarius. June 19, 1848. And on your very birthday, I congratulate you on this, you and.... be healthy, peaceful and calm. You already attribute too many virtues to me, which I don’t have even a hundredth part of, and it’s not just my weakness that burdens me, but my main unworthiness is the reason for this: and you blind people proclaim me a holy saint. Woe is me. Woe to that man, his name is higher than his deeds! If you receive benefit, it is because of your faith that God gives a word to my darkened mind. - Very good... I advised you, and you asked N., so you have advice, and cutting off your will, and seniority... When you notice self-confidence in yourself, then with occasions and with the help of God, it will be cast out by self-reproach. In church standing, when your thoughts are pulling you away, you need to force yourself to stand, so you can get into the habit, with God’s help; and when the body is exhausted, then compulsion is inappropriate. When you come to church during the Six Psalms, you definitely don’t need to pray, but listen to the reading, and then pray; That’s why it’s done without bows. “Necessity will teach the rolls to eat”; So you set to work on the farm, you were at the fair yourself; it is necessary; you worked hard, and .... prayed for you, and both of you were in business. Still, create with advice. I am moving far away from you. – You sympathize with... illness, and it saddens me. But we do not know the destinies of God. He works everything for good; we are attached to the blessings here, and He wants to give us future blessings through short illnesses here. Blessed be His Name forever! When you see... weakness, you can advise her not to go to obedience or to church; and when you yourself, together with her, read the doxology at home, which is appropriate. - Your permission (for food) is universal; but you still need to look after yourself. May the Lord forgive you. It is necessary to finish the letter, be peaceful and healthy, I remain the great Hieromonk Macarius. June 21, 1848. That you accepted my reproof with love will serve in the future for your correction; about what try. You see how pride blinds us, and we do not see how we are drawn into its networks; May the Lord deliver you from them. And when you accepted the thoughts of justification, your pride would be revealed even more. For he who rejects correct or incorrect reproof has rejected his own salvation. It is better to consider yourself guilty, even if you were right, than to make excuses. Standing in church, when you are distracted by thoughts, you must reproach yourself for this, and consider yourself to be nothing; and you mix up other cases, and say that it would be better to listen to reading and singing than to think about what you did; - and again your thoughts praise you for reproaching yourself. This is very dangerous. What is there to boast about? when are you stupid? and remembering my own badness, I should consider myself worthy not of praise, but of condemnation. And gloominess of spirit, although it is sometimes sent as a result of temptation, everything must be tested: is it not sent for pride? and you need to come to terms with it. – While standing in church, you don’t need to count your shortcomings, and thereby distract your mind from the attention of reading and singing, but simply consider yourself a sinner, for all your sinfulness, and for the distraction of your thoughts; – that’s enough. St. Isaac writes: “Whoever does not think of himself as a sinner, his prayer is not acceptable before God.” Asking for both of you the peace and blessing of God, I remain a wisher for health and salvation. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. Peace be with you, June 24, 1848. Although your letters are small, they all require quite a bit of time to respond. Let the beginning of the 28th year of your life be the beginning and continuation of your saving path. God bless the sisters participating in your sorrows; God grant that such mutual agreement will bring you benefit. Where we resort to humility, there we also receive peace; This is what you see in your confusion; do so always; from experience come to the custom of good and bad. Why didn’t you get peace for your embarrassment with... for prayers? It’s true that she didn’t reproach herself as much as she should; Is it because I remembered before that you soon calm down, it seems so! Every touch of passionate thoughts and movement of the heart in them shows our inner structure, consistent with the enemy’s excuses. The thought of envy that has confused you, that “I write more to...” Where did it come from? Obviously, from your dispensation. I am writing both to you and to her; I read your letters a second time, and whatever requires an answer, I answer; She questions more, therefore she has more infirmities and needs. I also don’t leave your questions unanswered; but I don’t know how to fill with an empty set of words. Love destroys envy, you know its weaknesses and confusion: show love for it, and destroy envy; If you are calmer, then you should have compassion in the weaknesses of others. All this allows you to recognize your weakness and humility. I always and repeatedly tell you to maintain peace, harmony and love among each other; Let petty incidents not violate these between you; but one must also lay down one’s soul for one’s neighbor. With such a mood of spirit, the Lord will give His help. I wish you peace, health and salvation and ask God’s blessing for both of you. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. June 29, 1848. Looking through your letter, I don’t find anything special, except that you keep elevating me with praises of which I am unworthy; and if you receive benefit, then the Lord gives it to you, according to your faith. And your unanimity will remain unshakable if you adhere to self-reproach, and a heartfelt “forgiveness” is ready to destroy all the machinations and networks of the enemy. I wrote about giving alms to... that it is not bad to do it through people, but in case of need, you can give it yourself, after consideration. In the fear of death, both... and strengthen yourself by trusting in the mercy and power of God: we are not here forever; and the Lord is strong and will preserve you; be complacent. When you recognize yourself as proud, then try to contrast self-reproach and humility; You definitely made a mistake in this, that you were thinking... about prayer; How can we not pray when the wrath of God is coming? because it is because of your pride. Having wished you both peace, health and salvation and asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. July 3, 1848. After the general letter, I’ll talk to you especially. I wrote to you in general about not being afraid of death, and surrendering oneself to the will of God. The thought lifts you up that I read and .... worked; you think you did better; and Scripture teaches us: what is high among men is an abomination to God (Luke 16:15). It's good that you noticed soon; do not think that you are doing better, but look at your thinness; and consider everyone better than yourself; and Climacus’s words may tend to you in the same attitude, to consider yourself worse than everyone else. You read, and your thought praised you, whereas reading should lead us to humility, for it teaches us this. - In eating food, - about time and quality, you need to agree with your sister, and calm her conscience; and even more so when she is also physically weak; Likewise, accepting your sister’s advice with love is more useful than self-reflection and self-indulgence; even if it seemed better to you; “It’s better for me to do something wrong with my brother’s advice than to correct it myself and rise to the occasion.” Noticing pride in yourself, try to destroy it through self-reproach and humility; but when a thought praises for self-reproach, then this is no longer self-reproach, but self-praise. – Peace and blessings of God be upon you. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. June 6, 1848. Congratulations on your acceptance of St. Mystery and with peace with.... It is in vain that you analyze with what intention she did this; you must accept it in simplicity of heart, also consulting with your sister about anything, do not want it to be your way; but discuss the thing in general and find what is best, do so; otherwise you thought that you had cut off your will, but became infected with malice. What kind of cut off is this? but the embarrassment seemed to arise under the pretext that she strongly forced her to cut off her will. Bad analysis! I wish you both peace and health, great Hieromonk Macarius. July 10, 1848. I can’t wish you anything better than peace, and even more so at this time of sorrows and illnesses. When there is peace and harmony, then God is in your midst. – Your monastery was visited by illness and mortality, but now, as you can see, thanks to the Lord, it has subsided. Likewise, the Lord visited us with this punishment; - and we are among the children of God, we are punished from His love, lest we be condemned with the world (1 Cor. 11:32). How many people did this formidable sword bring to their senses? no one, it seems, was left without cleansing their soul by repentance and communion of St. Tain, without waiting for fasting. This should remain a memory and lesson for us for the future, so that we may spend our lives pleasing the Lord. And you all take care of me: thank God, I am healthy, be calm, but put your hope not in me, but in the Lord and the Mother of God. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. July 15, 1848. Looking through your letters last mail, I noticed that you were making comments on the actions of Mavrushka (the holy fool); I won’t praise this. Believe God, and be ready to accept what He pleases to send you for your benefit and testing; everything that you wrote could have worried you because of your guesses and not come true, but you were embarrassed in vain. Don't rely on the story; I know better both the benefits and the spiritual vanities of that place, and be content with what you have and behave humbly; Don’t climb the mountain at once, look at your weaknesses and don’t look down on anyone. Reject the demand for advice from you, who are like machines, with your lack of understanding and inexperience, and avoid it like poison; Do you still require advice yourself, and can you give it to others? Perhaps the enemy will deliberately lead you to you, but then lead you into arrogance. What do you mean? inexperienced girls! Are you asking me to explain to you more clearly how to calm your sister’s conscience? – Try to cut off your will in front of her, where no spiritual harm is seen. But not like this: it happens that she will say something to you in a sisterly way, and although you cut off your will, you will be offended; This will not calm her conscience. You can tell when you don't like it, wouldn't it be better, sister? And then agree as you find better. It’s the same with food: you know what she likes, without asking, calm her conscience. And she, although she wants, but, thinking foolishly, cuts off her will and refuses; and meanwhile, it remains not without sorrow; Likewise, in other cases we must do so that our desires are sacrificed to love for our neighbor. Hieromonk Macarius. July 24, 1848. May the Lord bless you both for the arrangement in your cells, and for lasting peace and harmony among each other. Your building is an excuse for the enemy to bring you thoughts about this in prayer; and you, by self-reproach and attention to reading and singing, overthrow them; inevitably they must see themselves as worse than everyone else through defeat. - Feeling consolation, do not get carried away by opinion, but consider yourself unworthy of it. And when you agree with the thought that something is given for something, then you already value your truth, and not God’s mercy. For what and for what dignity were we redeemed by the priceless blood of our Savior? It was only out of His love for us that He did this. And always reject this unclean and enemy forgery of yours. I ask you not to let the spark of enmity and unworldliness sink into your hearts and cause a bigger fire. Be healthy, peaceful and prosperous, I sincerely wish this to you, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. July 27, 1848. It's sad to hear that the poor woman... is suffering, and even upsets herself by warmly accepting all the incidents and memories. - Please, keep peace among yourself, do not allow the spark of discord to fall, neither you nor she; otherwise you are all afraid of offending and exposing yourself. Explain yourself with self-reproach and humility, then nothing will harm; and the enemy is deliberately telling you this in order to entangle his own in the net. May the Lord deliver you from this. I repeated reading your letter: and again about peace and harmony with... I confirm. This is necessary for your overall peace of mind and salvation; but I see that the malicious enemy began to strongly arm you against each other, and not without your fault: but the cry for peace was true; for where there is a fall, pride precedes it, according to the word of John Flattery. Look: just as the edifice of peace and love is overthrown by exaltation, so by humility it is rebuilt. Extinguish the spark of hostility while it is still small; but if it catches fire, then it will be more difficult. I told you and wrote that peace and love are tempted by the opposite. Show love to your sister when you see her indignant from the enemy; She, poor thing, is not happy about this, but she also grieves, but the enemy’s pretext shakes the dispensation; give alms to the soul at this time, it is more expensive than what we give to the poor - this is real monastic alms. This is what I am writing to both of you; each in turn do this, and the networks of the enemy will be broken, with the help of God. How stupid are you, you decided to call me your apostle? Attribute to me that which is not even a shadow in me; - one might rather say according to St. John Flattering, that I myself have done nothing good, but have been scalded into mud (sinful), and seeing those walking along this path, I warn: look, there is mud, mud, a swamp, go carefully, I myself got there and was scalded; then negli (maybe), for the sake of your salvation, God will have mercy on me. This is more decent to think about me! May the peace and blessing of God be upon both of you, I earnestly wish the sinful hieromonk Macarius. July 31, 1848. Are you writing about your exaltation in the face of outside praise, and asking for guidance on how to get rid of it? We have many teachings about this in the word of God: And among men there is, on high, an abomination to God (Luke 16:15); and everyone who exalts himself will humble himself: but he who humbles himself will be exalted (Luke 18:14) Remembering these words, cast down the thoughts of praise that arise; and as soon as you think something highly about yourself, then know that by this you have become lower and worse than others, in addition to your other weaknesses and inclinations. And the teachings of St. Fathers everywhere teach us humility and to see our insignificance, forcing ourselves to do so through self-reproach. And I, a sinner, advised you to be the last of all and the least sister; you are accustomed to praise and have always fed on it, but now you must resist it. This is the seed of the enemy, which will not bear the fruit of goodness, tranquility and peace; seek these fruits in self-reproach and humility. I did not write to you in order to honor you, and that you can comfort your sister, but because you live in the same cell, and because of your disposition towards her, seeing her distressed, console her with a word; for in sorrow sometimes we ourselves cannot find how to help ourselves. And... she approved of your action only in appearance, but meanwhile it had already become defiled; you chose yourself over your sister; you need to recognize your weakness and humble yourself, and not rely on your mind or deeds. Living in a community, we see that we cannot organize ourselves alone, or fulfill the commandments of God, but we demand the help of our neighbors; and therefore, in any case, one must humble oneself and not be exalted. Entrusting you to the protection of God, I remain the desirer of your peace and salvation, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. August 6, 1848. I am sincerely glad that peace remains with you. Keep it as a gift from God, so that your path to salvation will be more convenient. May the Lord crush the machinations of the enemy through your self-awareness and self-reproach. - The time of your construction will not harm your structure, but will provide opportunities for experience and peace of mind when you deserve it. - And try to overthrow your arrogance in everything, and consider yourself to be the last and leading nothing, then the Lord and your mind will be enlightened. - I read with pleasure how you work together about your cells, where sometimes there are impulses for your learning and knowledge of your weakness. I’ll leave the detailed description of your anxiety against.... you see for yourself that there are machinations of the enemy here; and how are they defeated? humility. She does not accept your words: but your words are not yet the gospel law! Discuss it peacefully, when you yourself are perplexed, consult with your sisters, or, in necessary cases, take it up. May there be peace between you! - Be peaceful, healthy and prosperous, I remain the desirer of your salvation, much-sinned I. Macarius. August 9, 1848. For congratulating me on the holiday, thank you. – I am very glad that you greeted this day with joy and comfort. The Mother of God consoled you. Overcome by the passion of envy, she recognized her weakness, but did not receive peace until she exposed herself to her sister; she is not spiritual, but your guilt touched her; and henceforth, for the sake of both of you, I ask, do not allow the spark of unworldliness to sink into your hearts, so that a strong fire does not ignite. And do not be arrogant about this, and do not become arrogant about the fact that there is now peace between you, but humbly preserve it; remembering the word: where they say peace, there is destruction and destruction (1 Thess. 5:3), and this is for arrogance; as we see from the Psalm (Ps. 29:7-8): I groaned in my abundance: I did not move,... but I turned away Your face, and was confused. What may the Lord deliver you from! You write that vanity fought you for your supposed prudence, but when you remembered the impurity of the high-hearted one, it went away; so it is necessary and always to purge this root of evil from the heart; He defiles all the plants of good deeds and makes them obscene. St. has a lot about this. fathers of instructions and teachings. I wish you peace, health and salvation. Many sinners I. Macarius. August 21, 1848. I am sorry for you that dental disease has been bothering you greatly; Do not reject the proposed remedies for your sister’s love and zeal; and most of all, let no spark of enmity creep between you: the enemy does not sleep, he tries to cause indignation on both sides, and you overthrow him with self-reproach and explanation; This can not be done without difficulty, for the enemy opposes this, and when we humble ourselves, then later we find peace; You have learned this from experience. – Try to catch your laudatory thoughts, and place them among the same falls, or even worse, because they are the cause of other falls. Asking for God's blessing on both of you, I wish you peace, health, harmony and salvation; I remain the great sinner I. Macarius. August 23, 1848. The adventures you describe, which shock both of you, serve as a test to the knowledge of your weaknesses; Just don’t let the spark of unworldliness and enmity sink; the further you go, the more the enemy tries to create disturbances between you; Let him not scold you, be careful. Humility destroys all his machinations. – Leave your self-reflection and guesses, this has nothing to do with you. One must endure gloominess of spirit with self-reproach, as I wrote to you about. Passions humble us; and from not fighting passions we come to exaltation and pride. Although all passions are harmful, according to the Climacus, their passions humble us and elevate us. Arrogance and envy cannot be humbled, but asking for deliverance does not hinder them; – and you can ask for deliverance from all passions, and not impudently think that you can fight. It is not our business to find out what passion is needed and what is not; but be ready to fight against whatever arises. This is the dispensation of great people who allowed passions and fought, and we must try to cut off thoughts from the pretext. And you live poorly, but you don’t have humility; Well, if you still lived well, then who would humble you? It is good for me, for you have humbled me, so that I may learn through your justification (Ps. 119:71). I am not writing in detail about all your explanations; It’s enough that you wrote and I know and see both of your disposition to preserve peace, and how the enemy resists it. Don’t be jealous or envy that I write to.... more, her letters are more prolific and require explanation. I wish you both peace, health and salvation, great Hieromonk Macarius. August 28, 1848. I lovingly accept the detailed description of all your actions and activities and read them; and my true desire is that from this detailed description of your actions and their revelation, you would recognize your weaknesses and gain humility from this. I always pray to the Lord to grant you to see your sins and not condemn your brothers; - and hold on and try to achieve what St. Peter of Damascus wrote about the seven works (after them): “See your sins like the sand of the sea”; then when it happens that you will be humiliated or despised by someone, having prepared yourself and reproaching yourself, you will bear it more comfortably. The incident with m.... showed you your weakness and self-reflection with your opinion about yourself; Where is the humility that we read, talk and write about? We must learn it in practice, in the school of sorrows, as the saints teach us. fathers that “true reason is the breed of humility, and humility is the breed of sorrow.” However, even here the thought does not want to bear the reproach that they will say: “I did this act on my own,” but I want to be right. It’s good that you listened to the advice..., telling m-i.... and found consolation in it in your grief. Isn’t it true that the Lord will enlighten even the smallest of youths, saying a word for good, when we are disposed for good; otherwise, the prophet will go mad. Thank the Lord that you noticed the enemy’s excuse, exalting you for the revelation and praising you for it: when through this revelation you receive the fruit of humility, then give glory to God, and not to yourself. For your revelation about passion 3. I don’t complain at all about you, but I feel sorry for you that the enemy has found a string with which to bother you; and having recognized your illness, try to cure it through self-reproach, humility and revelation; and think what bad consequences could there be from enslaving this passion? May the Lord forgive you and strengthen you for this feat; against the arrows of the enemy, call upon the Lord for help. Having wished you peace and health, I remain the great sinner I. Macarius. December 14, 1848. You ask about the passion of envy nesting in you, and you are afraid that it will remain in you until the grave; and you still wonder how it comes from pride? Think about it, is it not because of your pride and love of fame? and it is said from the fathers: “A self-loving person cannot be brotherly loving.” If you tried to gain humility, not to mention, had humility, you would prefer yourself to your neighbor and all his benefits. What torments an envious person? Near welfare or preference; although he himself has the same benefits, and time preference; but he is annoyed why he has this. And where there is love and humility, there all the bends of envy are sacrificed. Do not be embarrassed that passion is chilling you, but try to resist it with self-reproach, humility and love. When envy exists, it is obvious that love and humility have been banished; and without them, virtues are worthless. Don’t despair and don’t think that this passion will stay with you until the grave; As you diminish your pride and acquire love and humility, you will receive freedom from it. – I wish you peace, health and salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. December 21st, 1848. You ask about praise, how to accept it, for the simplicity of your treatment? To this you have the answer, St. Barsanuphius in the list book: on humility, page 195; - and it is enough for you; and also at St. Mark: “First love reproof of wickedness, then you will accept praise of virtue without condemnation.” When others praise you, beware of your own, or even of demonic praise; but mentally consider yourself worse than everyone else, then you will not be harmed by praise that does not belong to you. I am very glad that your cell and furniture are good; but you think about that church, eternal, not made by hands in heaven, which will be incomparably better than this one, and do not be seduced by external decoration, but take care of your inner cell in order to cleanse it of all impurities. – You have learned the consequences of self-reproach and humility, what benefits they bring to the soul, follow this always; even if there are no spiritual consolations, you will take advantage of everything. – I wrote to you about the revelation, that one must seek benefits from it, and not just boast about it. I wish you a peaceful, harmonious and calm stay and I remain the great sinner I. Macarius. December 27, 1848. I give you advice: do not offer anything urgently..., but say it in a friendly way; If she doesn’t listen, leave her at her will; and in turn, try to accept advice with humility and cutting off your will and reason. Here is a lesson for you from your weak dispensation, N N neglect; humble yourself, teach yourself, not others; judge yourself, not others. About your passion, you thought that you were already free from it, but then it seemed, when an opportunity opened up, that you weren’t; about which one cannot be surprised, but one must be prepared to resist passion, and recognizing one’s weakness, humble oneself. When humility and love reign, then passions will disappear; do not become rigid in explaining your weaknesses to each other; and you can lovingly remind her of some weakness of hers, and even more so, when she desires it; for we often do not see ourselves. I remind you to try to keep it in your heart when you say reproachful words about yourself. I wish that there will be peace and harmony between you, which will be your salvation, and consolation for sinner Macarius. January 14, 1849. In your consciousness, may the Lord forgive you for your conceit and pride: and may your falls forward be a lesson for you in sorting things out, and in condescending to others in their weaknesses; Likewise, your mental efforts in church show you your former exaltation and contempt for your neighbors. One should not be surprised at the languor that happened to you, it is a spiritual cross; You, having gone through it yourself, can judge... how hard it is for her during this visit; You definitely need to have this feeling in yourself: It is good for me, for you have humbled me (Ps. 119:71). You ask, with mental and physical relaxation, should you give yourself peace, or be forced to break yourself? Compulsion is necessary in every matter, but forcing a weak body beyond measure will not bring any benefit; and for this one must have reasoning, and more importantly humility for the weakness of thoughts. – Deviation into the passions of vanity, conceit and envy shows you your wretched structure and leads to humility; and remove confusion from yourself. I want to tell you about your languor or spiritual darkness: you mistakenly accept that through influence... you feel them; to each his own cross; and it is rare that does not have it at the present time, but everyone will someday be visited; I know many of you who have this cross, only expressing it differently, for example. melancholy, despondency, unaccountable grief, but everything is the same. If I'm not mistaken, it seems that Dr. passed and passes this funeral feast, but expresses it differently. I myself had quite this feeling, and now it happens from time to time and passes. Give thanks to God in everything, and consider yourself worthy of sorrow, and not of consolation; In this way you can ease each other’s sadness, and with compassion for each other. You say that there is no one to convict you of your sins; but is your conscience already silent before you? No, try to see your weaknesses and sins, ask your sister not to leave you with accusations; yours is the path of your present life; However, do not be sad, there will be people, and God will send you to test you, just accept it with self-reproach, and not with self-justification. Peace be with you! I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. January 29, 1849. It seems that in the last letter I wrote to you about your monasticism, and now I will say little: may your acceptance of it not be based on vanity, or pride, or presumption, but rather on humility, meekness, and patience. S.... maintain equality among each other, having each last; remembering the words of the Savior: “Whoever wants to be first in you, let him be last of all” (Matthew 20:27; Mark 9:35). Monasticism is an image of humility and is achieved through many battles and temptations, for which one must prepare oneself; and the Lord is able to strengthen you. – I don’t advise you not to go to Matins unless necessary; in laziness you need to force yourself, in illness it’s a different matter; This is said out of condescension towards you as a consolation: - sleep. Just give yourself a reason, then bodily peace will appear; others do not go out of necessity, they work, and that’s how they live, but you, thank the Lord, have something to live with. Be peaceful and calm, and consider yourself the last of all, then although you accept reproach, consider yourself worthy of it. I remain the desire for your salvation, entrusting you to the protection of God; great sinner Jer. Macarius February 1, 1849. In the confusion that happened between you, you are both wrong; you, wanting to stop her from going to the sick woman, could have said lovingly, and not with irony; but when you both realized your guilt and calmed down, then I will not spread the word about this matter; I will only note to be careful in the future and to see the machinations of the enemy who are trying to dissolve your union in the Lord with justification; - self-reproach and humility overthrows all the machinations of the enemy. I don’t know when you will be tonsured? but I still cannot congratulate you without receiving notification. I am very glad that your parents accepted the news of your tonsure with Christian feeling; and you ask the Lord to help you justify in practice the adoption of this image through piety and humility. I wish you peace and health, great sinner I. Macarius. Maybe you have already received a monastic image, then congratulations mother..., pray for me. My blessing to your cellmates. February 5, 1849. In your letter you remember your absent-mindedness in prayer and your deprivation of the virtue of obedience. Read about prayer from St. Climacus in the 4th step. A useful instruction, so as not to be embarrassed by absent-mindedness of thoughts, but to collect them, etc., and see your own badness in everything, and not get carried away with corrections. Your obedience, which you did not fulfill, apparently, perhaps, would have been saving, but God’s will was not visible, for you could have been deceived by your holiness and put others below yourself, and it was destroyed; live with one accord and humility; I believe that the Lord will not leave you. And there is no need to lose heart about the battles that happen; They humble you more, and your union will be established; you just need to have the feat of self-reproach and self-awareness. Having wished you and both of you peace and health, I remain the great sinner I. Macarius. February 22, 1849. After the general scripture for you and especially with each one, I will talk. You write that on the 40th day you made a memorial for your father and that you were sad. I feel sorry for him, and I feel sorry for you too, for your cowardice: prayer for the departed brings them benefit, and it gives consolation to those who remain that they have the means here to benefit him; and excessive sorrow is displeasing to God; as if we were contradicting His providence and orders for us. I won’t praise your mother for this, but my sister; I already wrote to her that this grief comes from selfishness. But God forbid for this that she remembers him well and gives him alms and consoles the peasants: she sends all this to him there. You explain your passion, envy. I know that this is a struggle, but you also know where it gets its strength from; in reality - from your self-praise, pride and lack of humility. I write to her more, because there are more letters from her, but everything that I write to her relates mostly to your consent and general peace; It’s not just her that I wish freedom from passions and tranquility; but so that, struggling with passions, we mutually assist each other in salvation. Well, if she indulged in any passion, then she would cause you considerable sorrow and unworldliness; and in turn, I don’t leave you to write what you need. For God's sake, do not allow this Cain seed to grow in you, but suppress its small shoots, kill the Babylonian babies while they are still babies. Remove them from pretexts through self-reproach and humility. Thank God that you value your life and thank God who called you; but not everyone can comprehend this word, but he who can contain it, let him contain it (Matthew 19:11); One cannot be surprised that, despite such suffering, girls are still interested in marriage; They picture in their imagination the bliss of married and family life, and do not look at the fact that many suffer from unbearable illnesses and sorrows. Having wished you peace and health, and entrusting the protection of God, I remain the great sinner I. Macarius. March 29, 1849. Having talked with both of you together, I will say something especially to each of you: having briefly remembered the confusion that existed between you and the end of it, you believe that it is in vain... trying to hold back your feelings so as not to give rise to the action of your passion h. But if, through the action of your passion, she herself is carried away into another kind of passion, rage, that is, irritability, liberation from which costs her a lot of work, and even with damage to her health: then how can she not try to spare both you and herself? and even if she had no weakness, is it really possible to give her the freedom to do what moves you? When you accidentally do something that moves you, then it’s a different matter; and this is God’s providence, to expose your dispensation; and so that, if possible, she should not restrain herself from doing so - you think that’s wrong. Of course, the elders did it on purpose with the intention of hurting disciples with dispensations similar to yours with reproaches; however, they sometimes spared their weakness, allowing time for the healing of passion; but .... not to such a degree of art that she could do this. “Having not previously received your letter about this, I cannot, in a strict sense, understand and judge what and why your confusion occurred. And you try to overthrow this passion, thinking about how destructive it is and where it comes from; Having her pledge, humble yourself more and consider yourself last. About envy against.... see your ulcers and your defilements, repent yourself, crying with your heart, as John of Carpathia expresses himself in his letter to the monks. - But worldly people, shining with piety, do not know these battles, and are not so plunged into the furnace of temptations, as in our rank, according to each dispensation. Now I see the reason for your insult, I find both of you guilty;.... I’m not guilty because I don’t hold back my feelings, sparing you; but because she warmly accepted your insult. And it’s your fault that you were offended by it; instead of thanking your sister and humble yourself, but you mistook it for sorrow; – but that’s science for you. You write about yourself that everyone praises you there, and you forget yourself and mind your own business. Yes, for this there is plenty of food for you, the eldest in the family and respected, praised, how can you not think about yourself. It’s time, it’s time in the field of your work, there, on the whetstone, you will test whether your gold is pure: and the fire of temptation will show the whole ligature. Do not be afraid and do not be afraid of this, but flow courageously and hope for God’s help. Reading the life of St. Athanasia and the Philokalia, you see your own weakness, and that you are far from the perfection of those who truly work for God; Yes, this is how it is necessary that we always see our poverty and humble ourselves, considering not only worse than them, but the last of all; just as the poor, looking at the royal treasures, feel their poverty more; than we can get used to humility, then the creation of virtues will be sanctified by humility; Otherwise, it’s worse when we see our corrections and are deceived by them. God carefully allows us to sometimes fall or not reach heights for exalting and condemning our neighbors. I remain the desirer of your salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. May 4, 1849. Especially what should I write to you?, it seems that due to the shortness of time there were few cases; If we talk about the fire that happened on the road, then I ask you to be as careful as possible, not to allow the enemy to control you. And you can do this when you are prepared with humility and love for your sister: a lot has been said and read about this. Where there is peace, the Lord is in your midst; and where there is confusion, there is resistance. Let us desire and attract the first; and let us turn away from the latter; the means to this are known: self-reproach and humility. I am not surprised at this, one passion reproaches another; Where there is self-love, there the love of money gives way, and vice versa happens. And we know that all vices sometimes leave a person, but one remains with him - pride, which is content to replace the others. May the Lord grant.... true reason; and let us see our own sins! Peace be with you, sinful Hieromonk Macarius. October 4, 1849. Although I will say a few words to you in response to your letter: May the Lord forgive you for the temptation that was described to you; do not be cowardly and do not be arrogant. We should not be arrogant with our title, it is an image of humility, and consider ourselves worse than everyone else, and not seek retribution, leaving it to the will of our most merciful God, and thank His goodness for the fact that He has made us worthy to know the vanity of this world, which darkens the mind and does not allow us to see our sins as a multitude like the sand of the sea. Having all that is good for this life, you must strive even more for the salvation of your soul; Let them not say about us: “We grow fat and forget God who created” (Deut. 32:15). Other poor people care about their food and do not neglect their souls. Having wished you peace and health, I remain the great sinner I.M. October 21, 1849. On the first page of the letter I came across your word that you are... grieving, that she notices to you that you like to be treated; Yes, and in many places in your letters I notice some kind of criticism with her, and that you are cutting off the will, and so on. It is clearly visible how the enemy is arming himself against you and trying to disrupt your peace, but let him not rejoice in this. You, with God's help, rise from the fall and become stronger. Love and humility are your weapons against the enemy. That you are condemned for your bliss, for N.A.’s remarks, your heart disease, there will be less condemnation. And as for whether you offer... means to alleviate her illness, when she does not want it, but does it to cut off her will, then will it not be a sin for you for fulfilling your will? and how should you deal with this? – Ask yourself with love why you are offering it to her, is it to cut off her will and form your own, or out of love, to alleviate suffering? If you don’t offer, you won’t be left without embarrassment in the form of resentment. Show her these lines of mine, and with love and humility ask her how she will tell you? Surely he will not reject love. - If it happens, when in confusion and a word of sorrow comes out for this, then attribute it to the action of an enemy seeking to disrupt your peace. May humility and love marry him. The arrow of the enemy, which wounded your heart, did not hide from..., but it also wounded her. God carefully allowed her to see your lines in order to expel the serpent from your hearts through this; and what’s more, it was already deeply ingrained in you: you considered yourself to be suffering from her reprimands, and through this you hoped to free yourself from future torment. When it was hidden, it was contrary to the law of peace and love; and when it came out, what was it like to see? one on the tongue, the other on the heart? She is not as guilty as you, considering yourself a sufferer from her; not noticing that this was due to your dispensation, which was tormenting you, not her. Thank God it passed soon and you were at peace; in the future, be smarter and more humble. Paki z. you began to worry about your letters; do not let this serpent penetrate your heart, open it with others; she is yours, and you must bear her infirmities, protecting yourself with humility and love, and after confusion, peace will be established among you. Don’t grieve too much because others are unkind to you; you can’t please everyone; do not seek love from others, but acquire it within yourself for everyone. Its poverty should most of all humble you, and not look at the shortcomings of your neighbors. They will not do anything more than what is allowed to them by God. Peace be with you! I. Macarius. December 24, 1849. I am very, very pained by your dumbness, and where does it come from? what should you share? Why have unworldliness? the enemy presents you with one nasty form of another. Which is not the case at all. And where there is humility, the enemy would not be able to do anything. In case of confusion, I advise: reject excuses, and then peace will be established. I always want to be right, but there is no peace. Because you were allowed to think highly of yourself, that you were soon reconciled by explaining yourself, the enemy shot his arrows, against which they could not stand. About exhaustion.... I am sure that you mourn and share in it; but you will prove your love even more when you resist contemptuous and suspicious thoughts towards her, and rather explain them to each other; you have already experienced the benefits that come from it; in all of this, in which your thoughts were creeping against her, it was the fault of your bad dispensation. It’s good that you realized it soon and reproached yourself by explaining it, otherwise a spark would have sank into your heart; she would show her face, and thereby insult both herself and her. - Exactly, the reason for all our falls is ascension. You ask why you have such a hateful feeling when you hear praise from others, and how to get rid of it? What this confusion causes is already the passion that lies within you of arrogance; It touches you when someone is praised, but if you were insignificant and spat on your mind, then the arrows of the enemy would not touch you. Why did so much internal sedition and the squabbling of your proud spirits happen between you? For me, even the repetition of these is sad, and I leave them to make a subtle analysis. I advise you to better reveal your confusions... and expose the wiles of the enemy and your weakness. This is what spiritual warfare is like! When your mother looked into your heart and saw the storm of warring passions, she would surely think differently about you; but the concept of these battles is hidden from them. Submit yourself mentally under everyone, then perhaps you will gain the strength to resist passion; and do not be discouraged in this service, read in the books of St. fathers, that we need a struggle of passions, and the same passions and sorrows. Exactly, to exterminate passion, you don’t need to wish that no one would touch it; but reproof is useful; and when you reproach and humble yourself, you will be healed. Of course, the reason for this temptation is pride. For jealousy and envy come from it. Peace be with you! The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. March 4, 1850. I am writing to you, beloved daughter in the Lord.... on the last letter of March 9th; I wrote to you that I am saddened by your upheavals, reaching the point of embarrassment and insult; and having received your latest letters, I see that my letter brought you not joy, but sorrow. Well, I hope that with the help of God and your compulsion with self-reproach, the machinations of the enemy will be abolished and peace will be established between you. In the last lines of both of you, I notice that there was peace between you, and this calmed me down somewhat; The only sad thing is that her health was very upset. I ask both of you, for the Lord’s sake, not to be offended by empty trifles, but rather to see that it is your own passions and the abuse of the enemy that confuse you. I am writing out for you an article from the 26th degree of John Climacus: “An unslothful soul raises up demons to fight against itself, and as the wars multiply, the crowns also multiply; he who is invulnerable to enemies will not receive any crown; and whoever does not lose heart from falling, the angels will praise him as brave.” Although you cannot be called unlazy, you still have a desire to be saved, and you are looking for this; This is why the enemy is raising up a fight against you; but you, being hurt, do not understand; and instead of courage, you lose heart. What would happen if there were no fights? How would we know ourselves and spiritual life through the test? Yes, I warned you about this more than once, and offered weapons - self-reproach and humility. However, from now on, make a good start, and God will help you. Always have self-reproach, and keep in mind your poverty, then the enemy will have time to attack you. St. Isaac writes: “before punishment flows rejoicing; and before grace, humility” (fol. 85, p. 447). May the Lord enlighten and strengthen you! Peace be with you! great sinner Jerome. Macarius. March 18, 1850. Just as we, weak people, do not tolerate reproof, so it is necessary to... judge and reproach ourselves in our progress. - Try to resist your passions, envy and curiosity: - the impulses of your insult clearly come from pride; you were offended that they did not approve of your opinion, but they also reproached you for your stubborn character: - you must be grateful that they showed you your ulcer in order to treat it; and you angered her more. Be more careful ahead. I will say about your movement and indignation in cases or words that are contrary to you: you should not despair of victory, but rather come to the consciousness of your weakness, look down on yourself, and humble yourself. When we acquire this wealth and are prepared to accept reproaches, annoyances and reproaches, then we will not be embarrassed. Have all possible care and diligence about this. Visiting the sick should be considered happiness, for the Lord accepts upon himself: “I was sick, and I visited you” (Matthew 25:36), and not just to do this out of people-pleasing; - everything we do for our neighbors, good or bad, the Lord takes upon Himself. You are looking for a gentle reproof from your sister for your shortcomings: isn’t it better to leave this to the will of God, one way or another she will convict you; and to believe that God told her so, and she tells me out of love, but what I don’t bear comes from my bad dispensation. And when you resort to self-reproach, you can quickly calm down; and when they scratch our scabs, when will they be healed? According to the instructions of St. Zosima: “It is not the sorrow that you were insulted, but the sorrow that you did not bear with self-reproach.” And the fact that you wrote so harshly to O. cannot be praised; - she wrote without meaning, and out of passion for the world, “when everyone left, there would be nothing to eat”; and you wrote with enthusiasm a lot of unnecessary things. One could write: “this will not happen so that everyone goes to the monastery, not everyone can comprehend this word, but it is given to them from above (Matthew 19:11), that is, those only go who are pleased with God. (But we also need to remember that many are called, but few are chosen (Matt. 20:10) and not to pontificate and think too much about ourselves, but rather to humble ourselves; for Christ Himself humbled Himself even to death (Phil. 2:8), and He commanded us to learn from Him meekness and humility in order to find rest for our souls (Matt. 11:29). But are we doing this to you?) Oh if even a particle of this science had sunk into our hearts, such confusion would not have occurred between you. Again, you write that for all sorts of trifles and little things that are not worth attention, you do it out of... zeal and annoyance; you will know that this is the scolding of the enemy, arousing the underlying passions within you. You have to resist, humble yourself, reproach yourself and call on God’s help, force yourself, and run away from you; but if instead you indulge and weave reproachful thoughts against her, the more the enemy will have the power to pour his poison into your heart. These last movements happen to both of you, then she must have the same feat; and where there is battle, there are crowns. I wrote enough in a general letter. I conclude this letter in peace. Jer. Macarius. b May 1850. Rejoicing at your peace and harmony, I must tell you M.A. that it is based on the teachings of St. fathers, and namely: read in the preface to Nil Sorsky, 172 pages of life. Art. Paisiya in the article: “when they dream”, etc.; - you will see what benefits can come from following the rules prescribed there; but you would have deviated far from them, and just tormented one another, but you yourself did not have condescension towards each other, and each of you did not consider yourself last before your sister; That’s why the enemy had a strong attack on you, disturbing your spirit with your own passions; and you did not resist them. Remember this past time, in which you were carried away into the exciting sea of ​​your passions, and were deprived of peace and tranquility; Now guard this gift with humility, self-reproach and love. It will serve as your help on the long-suffering path of self-sacrifice and from external attacks. I believe that this betrayal of the right hand of the Most High (Ps. 76:11) followed with you the prayers of the Most Pure Virgin Mary and the holy saints of God. Let me also remind you that when you say a prayer for I.M., you would have extreme humility and memory of your sins, praying for mercy; and how could one beware of getting carried away in one’s opinion of oneself and looking for something lofty. The beauty is very close. Jer. Macarius. September 27, 1850. There is no need to talk about unimportant mental attacks against your sister, when they soon pass; but it is dangerous so that many of these do not accumulate and give rise to bad consequences when great disturbances open up. “You have counted the years of your intention and entry into the monastery: it would not hurt to count for you and me our weaknesses, and passions, and sins, and the poverty of humility. You are still walking the path, and I may be approaching the pier, but without the imam’s clothes, I will enter the heavenly palace. I should take care of this, but I don’t care much. You ask why it happens to you: when you read, you understand and enjoy it, but after that you can’t tell it, and you don’t even remember? Don’t worry about this, it’s good for you and your humility, you once had a notebook, why did it use you? Nothing! read, and understand, and try your best to do: we cannot remember and contain everything in the meager container of our mind; but when it comes to the point, the memory of what is read will be renewed in the mind; and when we despise and fulfill, then the memory is darkened by passions. So, just by the thought that over time you can become mentors, spiritual intelligence is taken away; It’s good that you came to your senses soon; and when I get carried away by it, then that’s the beauty; from which may the Lord deliver you! This is how your passions rage! we must resist them. And you cause harm to yourself and anxiety to others. Look sharply: the enemy’s snares are spread out everywhere. Warfare is overcome by humility. - Remember. Jer. Macarius. November 4, 1850. During your work, do not be embarrassed for missing major rules, but humble yourself, and in your humility the Lord will remember you (Ps. 135:23); in other matters, as much as possible, devote time from 24 hours to God; then your work will be more successful; Even while working, encourage yourself to remember God. I congratulate you on your birthday, with the desire for you to be peaceful and calm as you reach adulthood; We must also strive to achieve perfect humility, which alone can bring us peace and salvation. “It occurred to me: until now we only learn by reading, writing and speaking about humility, but in reality we don’t stretch ourselves, and what’s the use of this? We just perform air. Let us pray to the Lord, who humbled Himself even to the point of being a slave, and endured reproach, reproach, humiliation, beating and death itself: may He also give us help, looking at the height of His humility, how much we can imitate Him in our deeds, words and thoughts, having ourselves earth and ashes in our thoughts. Let us prepare for this every hour and minute, and so it will be for us: we are prepared and not dismayed (Ps. 119:60); and if the heart moves, then it becomes confused and does not speak (Ps. 70:6), (but I reproach myself). And let us say: and I have begun now (Ps. 70:11), (and not from myself, and not by myself), but: this is the betrayal of the right hand of the Most High. So, from this time, from this minute, begin this work with your will, and we will attract God’s help: this is what I earnestly wish for you and for myself. Read more diligently St. Abba Dorotheus, about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor: “Truly, if a person does a thousand virtues, but does not adhere to this path (self-reproach), then he will never stop being offended and insulting others, thereby losing all his labors; on the contrary, what joy, what peace does he have who reproaches himself? Wherever he who reproaches himself goes, as Abba Pimen said, no matter what harm, or dishonor, or any other sorrow befalls him, He already first considers himself worthy of everything unpleasant, and is never embarrassed. Is there anything more carefree than such a state? And further: “all the virtues entered this world with a groan, but without one virtue they will not take place; what kind of virtue is this? - to always reproach yourself.” But you can even reproach yourself and boast about this in your mind, then this is no longer self-reproach, but is covered with self-praise, and will not bring any benefit. St. Climacus writes: “If we believe in the feeling of our hearts that every neighbor is better than us, then the mercy of God is not far from us.” Read the epilogue of Nil Sorsky, you will find a lot of benefit there; as for example: about immeasurable fasting and the assumption that unreasonable fasting brings more harm than eating to satiety and why. And about those who undergo great deeds and virtues with reason, not considering that they are doing good; and others who believe that they practice virtues, for which they are betrayed to the realm of Satan. This lesson is striking when even in our times we see many who have been deceived and have lost their minds. Do not consider yourself disadvantaged because you cannot live acutely and dynamically, as the Saints lived; You too can finish with warm lust, self-reproach and humility, and please God. The Holy Prophet David was neither hungry, nor sick, nor lying on the ground; but he humbled himself, and the Lord quickly saved him (Ps. 114:5). One must ask for the gift of reasoning, and it is given to the humble. – You write that you enjoy reading the book of St. Peter of Damascus. The book is very useful, but you need to use it in action: from the 13th to the 15th page he writes how we need to reject our desires, and how exactly, and endure illness about this: “and when we come to the habit, according to the word of St. Dorofey, then you will easily cut off your will.” More Pet. Ladies. “according to the seven physical deeds, no matter what good or evil happens to us, it is lower to be daring, lower than to despair (book 1. p. 18. according to ed. 1840); and then the mind begins to see its sins like the sand of the sea, and this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health, and the soul becomes contrite and the heart is humble, and truly counts itself least of all.” You see, with high corrections, what humility; and we, without doing anything, become elevated, darkened and confused. - In his 2nd book (fol. 9. fox. 105) he has an example of a virgin fasting and praying, and not being accustomed to humble herself, and therefore not bearing any fruit. “I wrote all this to your excitement, so that you would come to know yourself and correct yourself; – what is more necessary for us as a world? and nothing can replace the deprivation of it for us. Look for it in love and humility, when communicating with your neighbors, and try to gain like-mindedness. Peace be with you. I. Macarius. June 21, 1856. St. Isaac's words do not at all apply to your dispensation. “It is fitting for a monk to flee from all the evil passions that irritate him.” And why run, read further: “and most of all, let him cut off the guilt of the passions, and let the substance act upon it and increase.” The fathers consider the guilt of passions: “wine, wives, substance, love, glory”; These guilts excite and irritate passions in us, and we cannot stand against them; but by moving away from them, we destroy passions. – And those you have: envy, jealousy, resentment, cannot be healed by avoiding wine; but what heals them more than their guilt is the passion of those who strive; - as St. writes. Cassian, 278 pp. “the desert does not destroy passions, but lulls them to sleep, and revealed guilt, like unbridled horses, carries the rider to destruction.” (On Nil Sorskiy superscript). Also St. Isaac (page 2, 92 pages). “It is not possible for anyone to approach God without sorrow” and further; and at St. Climacus: “He catches the silence of the unskilled, and whoever is indignant with anger, or opinion, or wickedness, dares to see below the trace of silence.” All this evidence proves to you that you misunderstood the words of St. Isaac. In my last letter, I wrote to you that even your silence will not eradicate your embarrassment when dealing with your neighbors. “I am already afraid to write to you about this, for much has been written and read, but it has not brought any benefit, for I myself do not create, but teach others; and I noticed that the more I write to you, the more abuse arises against you, and you fall; and this is for my unworthiness. However, I will also write a few words; read St. Elijah Ekdik chapters 30, 31, 32, 34: you will see what is the benefit of exposing the inner passions in us, and “whoever casts them away, who is not ashamed to lie in the hospital of not being sick” and that, “reproofs are sent to us by the sight of God” and that “to the extent that you feel illness, you only accept those who show these reproofs” and what is the benefit of this. St. also writes well. Simeon Nov. God . Chapter 31, and Marco the ascetic 209; and at St. Dorotheus dissected our heart a lot, and showed the types of resentment, and how to try to purge it. And you must expect a test of your will: the enemy will not cease to raise a storm with your passions and confuse you; but you, having experienced the bitterness of past temptations, be firm, calling on God’s help and humble yourself, for it is a powerful weapon against the enemy’s snares and intrigues: - but passions lie hidden in us, but are revealed when they are shown to us; then is it really possible to remain friends with them, and there is no need to exterminate them? – The heart only sees the true light as it is cleansed from passions. I send my unworthy blessing to all your brothers and sisters, and with them to you... and I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, many. I. Macarius. November 5, 1856. During the action of your passion, violent thoughts came to you, filled with crying, and even more so with laughter (St. Isaac f. 79, p. 433); and everything that happened between you during the confusion is clearly expressed in this word. I sincerely regret your pitiful arrangement; one sick woman requires your complicity and condescension more, because she suffers greatly; and you, being healthy, can more easily force yourself to bear her infirmity; You yourself admit that the passion of envy has greatly possessed you - but this is where you need to arm yourself more strongly against it; and instead of acting on passion, how much harm did you do to both her and yourself? God has given you a good sister, and the opportunity to bear her infirmities, calm her weakness, and receive salvation for yourself. And you, carried away by passion, wander in thought all over the world, with unrealizable actions. Do you see what the fruits of impulses of passions are? what do they bring? Ask God and force yourself to indulge in sickness; who knows how long you will have it; then you will grieve and blame yourself to no avail, but you won’t turn it back. How much we talk about self-reproach and humility, but in reality we don’t. May the Lord help you to humble yourself and fulfill the work of love, I earnestly wish you, great sinner I. Macarius. December 9, 1856. Having read your letters, I write: your world will be settled when you lay the foundation for it - love and humility, as I wrote to you. And you, if you want to calm the patient, should try with all your might; due to her illness, irritability affects her nerves more, and you, with the help of these two means: love and humility (and God’s help will come to them), try to calm her down, casting down your indignation with self-reproach. At least I saw incitement on both sides from the outside, but this is all the enemy’s action, and it cannot stand against humility. Read the decent teaching of St. Maximus of the Confessor about love, 4th centenary, chapter. 31. “Do not think of those who speak words to you as prudent, who commit sadness in you and hatred towards your brother, even if they think they are true; but turn away from the serpents who kill the serpents, and cut off even those who slander them, and change your soul to wickedness.” “Although it seems like they are offering you something useful, medicine is being served with poison; and so, I think you need to be very careful. Of course, the enemy will not miss the opportunity to make disturbances, but where there is love and humility, there his machinations will be crushed; and you remember your intention to calm the sick woman, knowing how irritable sick people can be and you cannot blame them for this; the patience of illness is enough for them. I see that you have already noticed some indignation, but you need to find the fault in yourself, either in the present or in the previous tense; the same centurion of St. Maxims chapters 30 and 33 are appropriate to this; Yes, it’s not bad, if you read the entire centenary, you will find a lot of good things. Just now I received a letter from Mitya dated December 31st; he writes so mournfully and consciously that the Lord, for his sins, punished him with sorrow: his wife, on the eve of the Nativity of Christ, became mad. Of course, this is God’s punishment, but it can be beneficial when the illness passes. In punishment he also sought God, realizing that it was for sins; and this is a great benefit; and an example for others to live according to the commandments of God humbly and peacefully with each other. Fulfill your intention, which you had when you left here, to ask for forgiveness from M.M. and comfort her pain. If there are any cases, then you know that the patients’ nerves are weak, and in order to calm them down, you need to force yourself with love and humility. I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. January 5, 1857, – 31st chapter of Simeon Nov. B. remember. I congratulate you on this holiday, and on tomorrow’s birthday. What can I give you? only the desire for peace, love, humility and salvation. You both write that you want to reassure each other: and yet your silence cannot calm you or M. down. You yourself write in your last letter that you were very embarrassed, but when you explained it to her, you calmed down. This is a wondrous sacrament that gives us peace through experience. But the enemy doesn’t want this, he forbids it, makes excuses, multiplies confusion; read from Simeon N.B. on page 222 and further on 234 to the end and 235. You must someday come to your senses, to the consciousness of your weakness and thinness. You, reading Elder Paisius about prayer, dream about it; But look at yourself - in a troubled spirit, what kind of prayer will there be? not a prayer, but a mask of prayer, according to the word of St. Macarius (page 3, chapter 5 and page 1, chapters 13 and 14). And St. Simeon Nov. B. in the 3rd image of prayer, how does he tell you to start it? – “Keep a conscience towards God, towards your neighbor, and towards things.” And we, as much as possible, need to try to call on God with the feeling of a publican, with every prayer, and the Jesus prayer, but not to dream about ourselves that we achieve what grace-filled gifts, which only one in a thousand achieves, by fulfilling the commandments and humble prayer. The grace of God reaches everyone, but not in equal measure; and to the extent of our humility fulfills our gifts. Don’t look for the lofty, but be humble. About your dispensation you write that passion does not leave you with envy, but you cannot explain it; but you become agitated, annoyed, and so on. And thus you cause them grief and temptation. This comes from the fact that you explained not only without self-reproach, but as if taking revenge on your passion, and because of this it was more strongly expressed in your outer appearance and structure. Okay, let it be your way, and you won’t explain.... it, but you should not put on a sign on your face, but destroy it with self-reproach. After all, it is in you, and rests until someone moves it; That’s why Ekdik says: “You are foolish, rejecting the accusations sent by God’s sight”; If you can’t open it, then pluck out this bitter chaff with humility, self-reproach, prayer and self-force. I will also say for your benefit: I recently read St. Simeon Nov. B. 2nd word, read on pages 32 and 33, how we need external inflictions of annoyance and reproach; and we must study not in order to know, but to try and fulfill with the help of God. Jer. Macarius. February 2, 1857. Thank God, you have pleased me with your peace, and what I wrote to you with sorrow about your life is because I saw from your letters about the confusion that occurs between you; When you each reproach yourself and not the other, then the enemy will have nothing in time to attack you. The books of our fathers teach us to resist passions, and how exactly; but we just read and ignore it. During your work, you can leave the service without a doubt and be calm, but what’s the point of it - to be embarrassed both for the fact that you went and for the fact that you didn’t go; This is an absolute delight! For everything you need to have self-reproach. You write that .... I gave you truly saving monastic instructions, tending towards self-reproach and humility, in accordance with the teachings of St. fathers; which must be established in the mind and heart, and in the event of an uprising of passions and demonic suggestions, having pacified oneself, defeat the passions and the enemy. Have you read St. Simeon Nov. B. 11th word, did you notice on page 234 at the end and on page 235 “when a person enters into the fear of God, the fear of God itself causes him to be trampled upon by all” and further, from which tears arise. And you write that: I have no tears; and from what tears are born, that is not what you are looking for. Have a feat more about humility. If you didn’t start sewing, you wouldn’t escape the embarrassment of not sewing. This is delusion, may the Lord deliver you from it. Curiosity only inflates your passions, envy and jealousy; The scriptures of the fathers teach us what we do not heed for ourselves, but only torment our neighbors that there is no love in them, but we ourselves do not have it. With your passionate impulses h. and R. It is not flight that is needed, but communication, so that in time they will receive healing. K... I wrote: I believe that God, loving him, sends him sorrows so that he comes to his senses and comes to true mind and repentance. I will also say that your structure is very painful for me: it contains the deposits of passions. and r., and their root is pride; you are inflamed with anger, you are embarrassed, and you confuse others, you are among the active passions, sometimes you reproach yourself; but as soon as it got to the point, everything was gone. Be sure that I truly wish you salvation, - who loves you in Christ, the great sinner I. Macarius, the last and worst of all. March 29, 1857. You know enough that all our labors and exploits without humility are insignificant, then we must take care of this most of all; - but without warfare a person cannot be skilled, and cannot humble himself. The fathers teach us this; read the 7th line. St. Isaac the Syrian: “about not despair, but rebellion and flow to God with repentance.” When reading your father’s books, apply more to yourself; and, recognizing your weaknesses, humble yourself, and the Lord looks at humility and gives His help. The art of a shipbuilder is not learned when the weather is calm, but when there is a storm and rough seas. Understand, yes he understands. We must try to have strict monitoring of our structure; for even with all the desire on both sides to tear each other down and live peacefully, the enemy will not stop disturbing with insignificant things and irritating the proud part, as has happened to you now; remember that self-reproach and humility against all passions is victory, and the enemy will achieve nothing. You ask about drinking..., is it possible not to drink at all or only occasionally? This cannot be limited, infirmities happen, and not so much physical as mental - vanity and pride, and yet we must beware of habit and addiction to... The breads here are very good; If the Lord preserves from any misfortune, then there will be an abundant harvest: bless the crown of the summer of Your goodness, O Lord, and Your fields will be filled with fatness, sings the Prophet David (Ps. 64:12). ABOUT! When we sought the kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all this would be added to us. May the Lord bless the good intention to maintain peace and harmony among ourselves. I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I. Macarius. June 18, 1857 You... surely don’t imagine that I am celebrating today, together with our venerable close relatives; and together we all congratulate you on your birthday. Peace be with you! May the Lord bless you to spend this day with spiritual comfort and joy. Now your life has reached 36 years, 37 has begun, the most solid and constant age: God grant that you are enlightened in true - spiritual reason, and strengthened by humility in all your actions; here peace and love will be established between you; which, unfortunately, have been removed from your home for the past time. You describe all your actions, feelings and desires with M.M., to have harmony, peace and love; May the Lord send His blessing on this. Only it is necessary to add diligence to good will and show it in action, and not in one word; there will be God's help here. Of course, the enemy will not fail to cause you confusion among each other, both with past memories and present incidents, but when you keep in mind humility and love, and resort to their stronghold; then the enemy will have time to attack you; - you yourself know a lot about this from the teachings of St. fathers. .... also has a desire to maintain peace with you; may the Lord help you preserve this precious gift given to us by our Lord Himself, Jesus Christ; on which our future happiness depends. Try to resist the abuse, and not at all accept the arrow of hostility in your heart, reflecting it with humility and love, and the God of peace will be with you. In the praise attributed to you there is a subtle intrigue of the enemy to deceive you, and you, remembering your passionate disposition, crush these intrigues with humility; St. writes very well. Barsanuphius in the 17th answer, how one should act who considers himself a sinner, and in the 21st answer, about enduring annoyances; but you are not ready for this; then read these teachings and others more often. Abstinence must always be had; it also serves to cleanse the mind and heart; but the enemy digs holes for us everywhere, with opinion and great praise, and with judgment of others; when you are alone, you can tempt yourself, and you will see that you are being overcome by yourself, and when you are with others, you consider them guilty of your intemperance; but this is a lie; you can overeat yourself, and in front of everyone observe prudent abstinence, not vain, but self-reproachful; not considering that you do better than anyone, but you are unworthy of it. However, you read that both reckless abstinence and excessive consumption of food, although both are from the devil, but excessive consumption is less harmful; Therefore, when dealing with others, have freedom in food and do not judge anyone who eats a lot or a little. There is no time to write anymore. Be healthy and calm; I wish you salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. June 21, 1857. It’s good that you blame your own dispensation and place yourself as the cause of the confusion between you; if this feeling visited your heart more often, then you would learn humility; - but at the same time, nasty thoughts come to you to self-justify the quiet life of the present time, and that you can live alone, with your arrangement, etc.; Although you realize that they are from the enemy, without repelling them, how long will it take for the spark of unworldliness to sink into your heart and ignite the fire in due time. Both of you are now out of the field and battle, and then you are calm, until the army of the opposite makes an attack. If the enemy is fighting against you, not against anyone else, but against each other, then you need to prepare weapons against the enemy, self-reproach, humility and love; and whatever self-justification and seduction you have of a quiet life will not lead to anything good; - So, I advise you to adhere to the rules of humility, which mortifies passions; and not imaginary peace, which only puts them to sleep. When you carry in your heart the feelings of your own badness and the superiority of your neighbor, you will comfortably accept the reproaches that happen, or what is not done our way. Again I remind you of St. Barsanuphias answers 17 and 21, “you know, take it, that if someone does not endure annoyance, he will not see glory; and if someone does not cleanse himself of bile, he will not taste the sweetness.” Well, what good will books do for us if we only read and don’t take action? Read chapter 90 from Mark the Ascetic, which says: “When we are in the natural dispensation, we find ourselves guilty; and when it’s unnatural, we blame the person.” You know your structure, that from trifles you become embarrassed and the result is a dead, languid silence, carrying the arrow of unworldliness and resentment in your heart. God grant that you accomplish the feat of your salvation with reason and spiritual deeds. You ask me how you can wean yourself from.... Pray to God that He, through His destinies, will grant you both a means and help in this matter. You think you’ll calm down once you’re at home, but you can’t escape the temptation. .... now he is going to his monastery, on a feat to acquire the kingdom of heaven, to which we all must strive, and according to our strength we have at least a little will. I know that you also want to receive it, and you stand in the field of this feat, for it is for us in the very place where God has called us. I ask you, for the Lord’s sake, to bear each other’s burdens, and through humility and self-reproach, maintain peace and harmony; it is known that ancient malice, the enemy, resists this and raises up your passions, and victory against him is St. humility. Peace be with you! Many sinners I. Macarius. August 27, 1857. You had the good will to maintain peace with your sister, but theoretical tactics without practice are not firm; but it is necessary to show the will in practice where God’s help is necessary. You would like to be motionless, unembarrassed, but inside you are vessels of passions: jealousy, envy, sadness, and with every guilt they move towards embarrassment; and the enemy is ready to show things in a larger size than they are, and increases them in thought; passion itself gives us torment. Who is to blame, our neighbors, or our passions? We must strive to exterminate them. Thank God that you soon learned passion and resorted to self-reproach; call on God's help. And besides these passions, we may have a lot of incongruous things that we do, and we don’t see behind ourselves; and if someone denounces us, then the passion of pride will be aroused with indignation at them: then it is not them, but ourselves that must be reproached and humbled, according to the will of the elders: “It is better to spoil things with the advice of my neighbor than to do well on my own.” For this leads to pride. Hieromonk Macarius. September 20, 1857. After the general letter, I am writing especially to you; in your last letter you wrote that while you were in church and feeling the peace and silence, you were comforted by them; and then you felt a passion of envy for your preference, and darkness covered you; from this we must see that we should not think about ourselves in any way, even if we have been granted great talents: the darkness of passions still lurks within us; read the book 7 words. Makaria Ave.; there you will find a lot of instructive things about this. And how bitter envy is, and it is difficult to explain, and it does not come from the outside, but comes from the inside from its deposit; having found envy, you have found the devil, and the devil is darkness and confusion; and where there is grace, there is light and peace. Strive against this passion, and do not think that people give rise to passion, but these cases only show you it, lying hidden in you and moved by chance, by the sight of God, allowed for your healing. Resisting sleep, you are afraid of being exposed to conceit: how can you think about this when it is not a virtue, but a means to punish yourself and get rid of passion? And even if there were virtue, then there would be nothing to be proud of, for the darkness of passions lies in our hearts. It would not hurt to read about reading the Gospel on Sundays, but if others do not read, and you are warned, then it is better to leave, accepting that it is not reading alone that is required, but its execution: the rejection of one’s will. You wrote in previous letters about insulting your mother for the comments she made to you, as well as me for the same. If they are useful and correct to you, then you do not need to reject them, although it seems painful, due to your vanity and pride; and if you find that they are unnecessary and useless, and that you yourself know, then you have the will to say not to touch you; but I can’t vouch for the benefits; could it be from silence? Of course, you understand that this shows your heart disease and rotten dispensation, and you would rather not have these (i.e., embarrassment from comments) and would begin to live with conceit and self-reliance, then you would not have any embarrassment; this is good for our pride: but what would be the benefit? And the hope of salvation? Read from St. Ilya Ekdik heads. 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35 and 36, Simeon the New Theologian ch. 31, Mark of the Ascetic ch. 209. I am not writing you the details, you can read it yourself; only they are all full of benefit and suitable for your dispensation. St. Simeon in chapter 31 writes that “when someone is dishonored and humiliated, and is greatly pained by this, we know it is like carrying around an ancient serpent in the depths.” See how clear the truth is! It is necessary to expel him, otherwise getting to know him will lead to the worse. It hurts you to accept from... reproaches or remarks that disagree with your reason: “is she really better than me? And smarter than me? Everyone in the world praised me, favored me and loved me”; These thoughts are brought to you; Well, what fruit did these praises bring you later? They made you proud; - but .... she walked a different path, a thorny one, she was not loved, scolded, punished, there was nothing to be proud of and to ascend, and by this her heart was processed and her mind was cleared; Of course she is not yet impassive; and not humble. This comparison may not seem right to you, but I showed you where your illness comes from - from the previous praises. We see a bitter example on ....; Everyone praised her and pleased her, “she’s good, smart,” etc., she accepted everything, as she herself says, for the truth, and thought that she lived attentively; but there was no one to reprove. God save every man from this. So, having described my opinion to you, I leave it to your will and discretion to be treated for your illness, or to neglect it; That’s why the medicine is tart and unpleasant; but useful. June 18, 1858. Of course, you understand and know how painful it was for me to read the detailed description of the former, during your journey, sorrowful encounters with ....; although all of this has passed, and peace is established between you at the present time, I don’t know whether it will last in the future; you describe the worries that existed between you; you don’t want me to mention them in a general letter. I will do this; but what is the purpose of this? everything that is revealed is light (Eph. 5:13), but everything that is hidden is darkness. You both know your faults, but you don’t want to explain yourself, is it because you don’t want to admit your guilt and reproach yourself? And if justification remains in the heart, then again, at the first indignation, the memory of former worries will be resumed, and will give the enemy strength to multiply confusion among you. And when the hostile pledge is completely destroyed by self-reproach and humility and love, then the enemy will not disturb you through the confusion that was between you. In such a holy place, in a prayerful mood, and preparation for the Holy Mysteries, and after receiving them, the enemy had the power to sway you with our passions; what is this from? Is it not because they did not have self-reproach and humility and love; but they indulged in the action of passions: pride and irritability. Although they asked God in prayer: create a pure heart in me, O God (Ps. 50:12); but this prayer had no power, because they did not even think about observing their hearts themselves, and tearing out the fighting passions, cutting off the reasons at the beginning, until they were small and grew to gigantic sizes and did not cleanse their hearts. And could you come to prayer without resentment when enmity continued between you, even before arriving in S...? And as you repent of this, despise yourself and blame yourself, then the Lord is able to grant you forgiveness and I, a sinner, forgive you. And from now on, I beg you, for the Lord’s sake, to cleanse your heart from passions, like St. fathers teach us. Pray to the Lord: “grant me to see my sins, and not condemn my brother”; when you see and feel your sins, then the shortcomings of your neighbors are insignificant before us; and even if we were offended by what we were, because of our sins we are worth more. As far as I can understand from your letter, it was not without your fault that you were reproached in an unpeaceful spirit, without justifying it, I am writing this to you, but giving you guilt to recognize yourself. Humility saves you from all the snares of the enemy. May the Lord protect you! I. Macarius. September 19, 1859 Congratulations, sir. ..., happy angel's day. On April 12, I sent you a letter, which you will receive on the day of your Angel. You write that on the day of the Annunciation you treated the sisters to a dinner of your cooking, and that this gave you great pleasure, especially since they were pleased with your dinner. Therefore, consider how happy those who serve us are, because they work for us every day and feed us with their labors; - and we lie down and rest in peace, and what is not for us, we will grumble and grieve. For my part, seeing them working, I please them that crowns in the kingdom of Glory are being prepared for them, but I, a sinner, have not endured these labors. – Remember what fame the cook Evrosim had in paradise, and while still living here; and it also seems to Paul: this is where the wisdom of the world lies! And we, seeing ourselves as strangers to grace, although we humble ourselves before them; like beggars, looking at the treasures of the rich! Peace to you and all of you, great sinner Jer. Macarius. April 5th, 1860. Having prayed to the most merciful Lord, I take up the pen, first of all, to congratulate you on your Angel’s day; exactly 1000 years since she completed her earthly feat and was installed with the saints in the kingdom of heaven; Let us call on her prayers to intercede with the Lord for our wretched salvation and try to the best of our ability to strive for it, and recognizing our weaknesses, humble ourselves and bring repentance. Yesterday I just received a few books from Rev. Abba Isaiah, one of whom I have now inscribed for you and am giving to you on your Angel’s day. I wish peace, health to you and all of you, great sinner I. Macarius. April 21, 1860. First of all, I congratulate you on your birthday, today I congratulated you... on my newborn. May the Lord bless you to begin the fortieth year of your age and may you be worthy to prosper in your spiritual age, humbly thinking, humbly acting, and humbly leading; for in our humility the Lord will remember us and fill us with spiritual gifts. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinned I. Macarius. June 21, 1860. Most Honorable of the Lord.... 12 I hear about your sorrow that you do not have the freedom to visit our monastery. We must accept this with submission to the will of God, for nothing is unpleasant to us except His permission; and this is a test for you in patience and strengthening your good intentions. If it is definitely true, then the more obstacles there are, the more it will multiply. I. Macarius. December 9th, 1845. Rejoice in the Lord, and do not delay your intention to serve God! Let the peace lovers say what they want, nothing will happen from their words; Mama’s worries are in vain. Try not to make trouble for her with false or capricious silence, but treat her peacefully in the simplicity of your heart. Beware of being addicted to worldly amusements and decorations; remember that our Sweetest Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, seeks to adorn the soul with purity and humility and love for Him; and when we love Him, then our enemies will be kind to us. Entrusting you to the protection of God and the Queen of Heaven, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, the great sinner I. Macarius. April 16, 1846. I received your letter on the same day it was sent. I sincerely regret your sorrows and the fact that you are faint-hearted in them, I also regret M., that she is consumed by grief. In all this we see a test for you, so that you get used to bearing sorrows with self-reproach and patience, and repaying everything with love. And do not be embarrassed and do not indulge in thoughts of despair, test your conscience, without finding guilt, reproach yourself for not being loving; because you are commanded to love your enemies, and pray to God for her, so that He will reveal to her your disposition towards her in the Lord; and when you think better, you will find that she, too, is embarrassed, due to human weakness, not seeing such frankness from you as she might have had before, not having the intention of going to the monastery. And the enemy, seeing this, tries even more to kindle suspicion in order to create enmity between you, or to weaken your zeal to go to the monastery. But he will have time for nothing when you stand on the solid rock of trust in the Lord; and be sure that all your trials are sent from God; not above your measure, just always resort to the Lord, ask for His help, and do not rely on your own strength. .... surely he will not leave you, sharing your sorrows and strengthening you in patience; and without sorrows it could have been even worse; another kind of sorrow - passions could possess you, and in sorrows our love for God is recognized. I ask you and advise you, do not accept insults so ardently, so as not to upset your health; take care of it in future, it is a gift from God. For support, read St. Macarius in the 7th word of ch. 12 ff, from Abba Dorotheus: “about enduring temptation.” May the Lord and the Mother of God comfort you, I earnestly wish you, great sinner I. Macarius. September 2, 1846. How can I console your grief that you describe? I will say one thing: run to God and ask Him for help to strengthen you. If you had the power to maintain the autocracy of others, then you would be guilty, otherwise you cannot do this: you must endure, there is nowhere to go. I remain your pilgrim, the great sinner I. Macarius. December 21st, 1846. I read the letters; but which of them did you notice? The fact that the enemy is trying through them to shake your thought and upset your heart from your assumed disposition to follow the path of salvation and work for the Lord, devoting your heart, mind and will to Him. From the stories of life there, you clearly imagine the charm of worldly pleasures, as if in an unchanging panorama; and what consequences might await, which are very common, sorrowful and painful, never come to mind. And also the passionate impulses and waves of the bad sea, when they sway - is it strong to stand against all this? And won't you fall into the abyss of drowning? Moreover, you can suffer a lot for abandoning your intention. I see that your correspondence has begun in earnest, and the letters are numbered; According to the condition, you must respond not to your own benefit, but to the disorder of the spirit! He noticed in you that you are not indifferent to ...., therefore he believes that your foundation is not firm, he tries to shake it completely, he presents the vanity of the world in the charming form of his activities, and his affection for you: and your young heart, once wounded, is poisoned even more by the flame of kindled arrows. If the spark of desire and aspiration for God has not yet been extinguished in you, and if your mind has not completely darkened, then you yourself can see and judge whether the Word of God and the verbs of Saints Ephraim, Dorotheus, John Climacus, Macarius and others, whom you received and read with such attention, can fit in your heart? - and along with these letters, seducing your feelings and attracting you to the world and its imaginary pleasures? You cannot work for God and for mammon (the world) (Matthew 6:24), says the Lord and the Apostle: For whoever wishes to be a friend of the world, he becomes an enemy of God (James 4:4). Are you afraid of breaking the friendship of peace lovers, and are you not afraid of becoming an enemy of God? When the world hates you, you have encouragement from the Lord that the world hated Him first. For what? For this: if they were quicker from the world, the world would love its own; Because I chose you out of the world, for this reason the world hates you (John 15:19). Without reading the letters yet, I advised you to write shorter and colder; and now I see that you, having committed yourself, cannot do this; then, having reminded you of all this, I leave it at your will and I will not remind you of this again unless you follow my advice; and when you listen, then I am ready, according to my strength, in whatever way I can, with the help of God, to give you strength. Otherwise, create one and destroy the other, what will happen? Just labor. You are advised to leave your sick parent for peace and its pleasures, when you do not leave him for God, but await the will of God; and how weak you are, you were completely ready to jump onto a fragile boat into the excitement of the world, if only the Lord had not saved you from this delusion. However, be careful now that the heroes of the present time do not triumph over you! I ask you to return this scripture to me after reading it; when you find it useful, follow it and thank God, but if not, then do as you want! I'm not talking about this stuff! I wrote this out of a true desire for true good for you. Write an answer on this same letter, how are your feelings, much more admirable, and do you agree with your first disposition? And follow my advice, or the attraction of feelings? THEM. February 20th, 1847. Thank God that you, having realized your error, came to a feeling of repentance and want to be more careful in the future; in which may the Lord help you with His mercy. You couldn’t foresee anything harmful, but when you got involved, you were already blinded by lack of foresight; This is how we are weak, and even more so when we rely on ourselves, or are carried away by pride, then immediately an idol of passion will appear in a holy place, and we will involuntarily worship it and make sacrifices. In the letter you thank for the reproof, but in words you reproach for severity; what to believe? however, I still want to follow my first rule, or better to say, the word of St. Scripture: Do not rebuke the wicked, lest they hate you; reprove the wise, and he will love you; give wine to the wise, and he will be wise (Prov. 9:8,9). Let's see how you appear? You want to keep my letter to remind you of your error; agree! But do you need to have those letters? Which can serve, for what? I wanted to talk about this even then, but I wanted to see how the first reproof would affect you. You will say again: strict and cruelly exacting. Keep the spark of fire cast into your heart by the heavenly Maker, so that it will ignite into a flame and burn up all the tares of passions that are in its field; and while they are still young, pluck them out and do not let them grow to the point of whiteness. Do not be embarrassed about the passionate nature of your nature; By this you seem to accuse the Creator, who created you as such; but strive against this, ask for help from God; do not betray your autocracy to the first thoughts of excuses, which, when added to them, kindle sweetness in the body. With humility, run to God, cry out to Him: Lord, have mercy on me, for I am weak! Ask the Mother of God, who is the root of virginity and purity, to help you, call upon St. for help. Martyr Thomaida, and St. Moses Ugrin, and John the Long-Suffering, suffered many for their purity; and see God's help. God never leaves those who have a good will to preserve themselves in purity and virginity to fall into this battle; but for the feat he will also be crowned with a heavenly crown. When you happen to fall through the addition and captivity of your thoughts into mental darkness, and become captivated, then without becoming obdurate, fall to the Lord with repentance, humility and contrition of heart; and do not give in to despair, which is still hotter than passion itself. Look for guilt, where did it come from that you suffered so much? And the guilts are: pride, opinion of oneself, humiliation and condemnation of others, sweet eating, excessive peace, association with the opposite sex; - and try to move away as much as possible; and above all, try to humble yourself, for according to the word of St. Climacus: “where there is a fall, pride preceded it” (Art. 23.). Do not become rigid in revelation, and this leads to humility, exposing yourself to others; Do you remember when you hid that you were hurt? In all this, may the Lord, who wants your salvation, strengthen you! You say: now I would go to the monastery; but this cannot be done without offending the sick parent and others; and in the event of any unpleasant change, the blame will fall on you. Meanwhile, what do you need in fashionable clothes? Wouldn't this indicate that you don't even have an opinion about the monastery in your head, not only in your heart? Think about this better; and in general it wouldn’t hurt to be simpler and more humble in costume, albeit worldly. Do not abandon humble prayer to the Lord in all your sorrows and temptations. He accepts the prayer of the humble, and will hear their prayers (Ps. 101:18). I entrust you to His all-powerful protection and intercession of the Most Pure Virgin Mary. I. M. February 26, 1847. Prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary O Mother of the Lord my Creator, You are the root of virginity and the unfading flower of purity. O Mother of God! Help me, the weak fleshly passion and painful being: for one thing is Yours, and with You Your Son and God, I have intercession. Amen. Read this prayer every day, and especially during carnal warfare. May the Lord Himself reward you for your work and give you true spiritual intelligence to control yourself in the path ahead of your life. From reading the word of God and the Father’s Scriptures, the mind forgets external worldly pleasures and turns to better, spiritual ones; but first you need to know your weaknesses; humble yourself and not trust yourself at all. The humble will not suffer from delusion. Tell daddy and mommy my respects. Mnogohreshny I.M. March 3, 1847. You can remain silent about the reprimand about the coldness of the letters, continuing the same caution and modesty in your letters. And if you find it necessary (which I think is better), then you need to say directly: that your intention to devote yourself to serving the Lord (in preserving virginity) has not changed at all; in this case, such expressions in letters as she previously wrote may be not only unnecessary, but also unhelpful. If there was some temporary distraction and deviation (towards the world) on your part, which he could notice in you, then it was blindness, and it later cost you a lot of work, heroism and effort in order to make amends with regret and repentance before God; and in kindred love so that they do not doubt; which is not and does not consist in certain written expressions and representations; - and the like, as your feelings tell you, calling on God for help, write. Thank you for the clothes, but not with fervor; but say that “the decoration of the outer clothes does not captivate you, but you regret your inner ugliness; and that you accept it, then at first it’s definitely your fault, you didn’t refuse due to evasion, as said above; and then, not wanting to offend my mother, so that there would be no reproach against her, and them, for trying, however, you find indifference to color and fashion; and if you still hesitate to fulfill your intention to leave the world, then it is only papa’s illness that is holding you back, so as not to cause him another painful blow, and although the wrong thing may happen; but I can think that I was the reason for this, and although at the end of his days I will serve him and fulfill my childhood duty.” Do not be afraid of reproaches and annoyances that will fall on you like hail; this will be a sign of God's mercy to you. Encourage yourself with the word of God: if the world hates you, know that it hated Me before you (John 15:18). Be courageous, not cowardly! Thank God, who delivered you from the many tempting temptations and troubles that were inevitably before you; and you, out of blindness, intoxicated with passion, could not see them; and now, with the help of God, I have seen somewhat clearly, and I have seen into what abyss you could have plunged! From which I earnestly wish the Lord to deliver you from now on. Many sinners I. Macarius, March 26, 1847. Thank God that you are healthy and comforted by the hope of being in the monastery; the reprimands you have received are empty, be ready for more and do not be cowardly; be courageous in battle I. M. April 8, 1847. Your desire is to bring yourself closer to God through love and to save yourself from harmful and destructive passions that darken your mind and drag your heart into a destructive ditch; and the great apprehension and fear about this are very comforting for me, and I believe that the most merciful Lord will accept you and bring you into the fence of His verbal sheep, sisters who work for Him and seek the salvation of their souls, for learning and accomplishing the feat of spiritual life there. Your disposition and love in the Lord for my unworthiness compel me to write a few lines to you to strengthen you in your good intentions. The four-day dispensation you described shows you the change in our dispensation and in both regrettable and comforting cases; and in this, God’s all-wise Providence acts for us, according to the measure of our spiritual structure; and so that in sorrows and in the torment of passions we may resort to Him, asking for His help and intercession. Do not blame anyone, but consider yourself worthy of sorrows, and humble yourself for passionate thoughts or movements, for which sorrows are allowed; equally, to the test of your dispensation, so that you would know that there are many different passions hidden in you: pride, vanity, anger, rage, envy and others, and having learned that, you would try to eradicate them; seeing her weakness, she would humble herself and ask God for help; If there are no cases that show you your passions, then you can recognize them, but you will be carried away in your opinion of yourself and into pride; what is most disgusting to God. If it pleases God to console you with something, then do not get carried away and do not imagine that you deserve it; and do not think: I have died in my abundance: I do not move (Ps. 29:7); but remember the following words of the psalm: You turned away Your face and were confused (Ps. 29:8). Observe the middle in everything and try to accustom yourself to indifference, both in joys and in sorrows. Know that sorrows do not come from outside, but from our dispensation. When the Lord deigns you to enter the monastery, and there the struggle with passions is inevitable, but saving; do not be afraid! and do not be afraid! God is with us! How wise is His structure! While it was difficult for daddy and mommy to agree to your dismissal, now everything goes smoothly! Bring thanks to the most merciful God for His providence for you. But I still have to withstand reproaches and reprimands from my relatives, and I see that you are so cowardly: just the word “reprimand about Friday” already worries you. But your letter, written from here, will even more arm the peace-loving people against you, and you be firm and do not be shaken by the noise of the waves of the worldly sea. In moments of embarrassment, reproach yourself and prostrate yourself before God and the Mother of God, ask to strengthen you, and to enlighten you on what answers to give, in which try to be cold-blooded to their reprimands; leave the expressions you have previously written, and they will leave you; and don’t forget that you yourself are the cause of their indignation, having given the reason for it. But don’t be embarrassed, but humble yourself for this. Thank God that you are allowed to leave behind worldly bodily food, and you are careless about worldly fashionable clothes, dress simpler and neater, now you don’t need to travel; feed on spiritual food, so that your soul is not hungry. I am sending you a book: “4 words to a nun”; This is an expensive book! read it three times with attention, and imprint on your heart the treasure located there, and return it to me. Have love and care for daddy and mommy more than ever; accept reprimands or other troubles more generously: do not put on a bad mask; when you reproach yourself, then peace will be with you! God bless you! Don’t be embarrassed by overwhelming thoughts, fight; It’s better to fight them than to fight pride. If your belt bothers you, don't wear it. Peace be with you! The Lord is with you! April 14, 1847. You describe your cowardice and sorrow, preparing to enter the service of the Lord. Everything here confuses you: how to part and leave daddy and mummy and all the relatives and friends close to your heart; and there to be completely alone among three hundred sisters. “I told you that every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation, and without that it cannot be firm.” So this temptation of the enemy comes to you, but you should not weaken and lose heart, but courageously resist cowardly thoughts. Call for help from God, to whom you intend to devote yourself to the service. God calls you and helps you, and the enemy disturbs your spirit with various doubts and cowardice. You will leave your parents and relatives, and there you will find the Lord who loves you; if you also love Him, He will give you a mother and sisters who care for you; Just believe! All your perplexities will find a solution and consolation in battles when you lay the foundation - the rejection of your will and reason, and you humble yourself, reproaching yourself for everything. For my part, although I am lagging behind by some distance, I will strive, with God’s help, for your salvation, through writing and other means and, albeit sinful, prayer. And the embarrassment for the letter... is completely childish, that nothing is answered to your letter; Yes, he has nothing to answer; It’s enough that I wrote dryly. The world cannot contain what you wrote to him, it is the opposite of his concepts; What we consider a sin, he considers an innocent pleasure. When you presented him with your arrangement, which was contrary to the previous one, he fell silent: and there was nothing to say. Do you really want letters to be like before?.. Read in the book of St. Macarius word 7, chapter 13 and further to 18. Don’t lose heart, but run to the Lord and the Mother of God! May She be your intercessor and patroness. April 27, 1847. ....! I wrote a letter before mass, and your father and mother came to mass, and said that they had received a letter from your sister, who was writing to your letter with great indignation at them - why did they let you go so soon, they didn’t let you see her, she herself would have come in the winter. But don’t be embarrassed about this; usually the world rebels against those who want to follow the path of salvation. It is known why she grieves, because she had hope, when they met, to persuade you to stay in the world, but now, having lost it, she is indignant. I.M. I rejoiced heartily when I received your letter and saw from it that you were already in the monastery of virgins seeking salvation, moving away from the rumors of the world, and that, at the first step, the monastery and the mother abbess came to your heart. May the Lord strengthen you on this saving path, and may the Most Pure Virgin Mary be your protection and intercessor and shield against the arrows and snares of the enemy. I congratulate you on entering this saving field, and I believe that you are already wearing your new clothes, as you wrote. Whatever you read in the books of your fathers, and what you talked about orally, try to go through it with skill or experience, and most of all with self-denial, which consists in the rejection of your will and reason and in the abandonment of your desires, as St. Peter Damascene. When at the beginning you force yourself to do good deeds, you will receive God’s help in acquiring them; but remember that without humility you cannot do anything good, and although it seems to be done, everything will be destroyed. I owe a lot to M. M. for taking on this important work; and you justify me, but without arrogance, but with humility. With your sisters, have an unflattering love for Christ, bear their weaknesses and accept reproaches from them and from everyone from whom God sends, with self-reproach. They will serve you as a saving medicine for your dispensation; and turn away from the contempt and condemnation of others, and keep yourself under everyone; Do not trust yourself in anything, but open up to your mother with faith and accept advice. I wish you peace and health and remain the great sinner I.M. June 17, 1847. Glory and thanksgiving to the Lord that you, having entered the spiritual field, have put on the garment of salvation. Outer attire helps to acquire spiritual well-being, just try to harmonize your inner humility with your outer modesty attire. Consider yourself the worst and last of all, not only by speaking with your lips, but by planting a thought in your heart; it will give you peace of mind. However, do not think that this matter can be accomplished soon: it requires a lot of time, labor, and cutting off one’s will and mind, which has already been talked about, read and written many times; but without practice there will be no success: you will fall many times, humble yourself and rise, and then it will only be firm when you completely recognize your weakness and do not rely on your deeds. May God enlighten you! and may it strengthen! The thought that confused you, that you did not go to serve God with a pure intention, seems to expose your subtle opinion of yourself in this regard. And under your mother’s wing, this is God’s mercy for you; Where would you be without support? a cane swayed by the wind! When art cannot be learned without showing it, since this matter is the art of art, can we acquire it ourselves? While reading the book of St. Barsanuphia was so delighted that she would like to absorb all the contents of it: zeal is good, but must have moderation; the constant flow of a stream brings more benefits to its owners than a sudden flood and then a complete depletion of water. Let him who understands understand. When, what and how much to read, one must adhere to the mother’s instructions. I've written enough for you. The peace of God and His blessing will be with you - I earnestly wish this for you, much-sinned I.M., June 21, 1847. You write that you did not escape the arrows of the evil one, but twice already you were saddened and brought to tears. “It seems to you that you can’t bear this life, it’s a pity for your parents, why did you go so soon?” and other weeds are sown in your heart, disturbing your peace. Do not be embarrassed and do not be horrified by these barks of the evil one, they are weaker than the arrows of infants, they will move away from you and be crushed, only lay your foundation on the solid stone of faith and remember that you were called by the Lord Himself, out of His love for you, and you went out of love for Him, for the sake of the kingdom of God. “But just as every good deed must have a temptation that is contrary to it, so that it can be known to be true and not dreamy and vain, then this temptation is also presented to you.” You are also happy that at the beginning of your entry you were allowed to be tempted by these excuses, and then it might be more difficult to endure temptations; and if I had not felt any temptation, then I would have dreamed of myself that I had done something high, leaving the world and everything in it, and now I must involuntarily resign myself. Although you are temporarily wounded by some thought, do not hesitate to resort to the One who is able to save you from illness and from the storm, and open the wound of your mother’s heart. Just like a warrior, having heard the sound of weapons and the firing of cannons and rifles, and running away from the battlefield, not only will not receive a reward, but will not escape punishment; and when he stands courageously and resists his enemies, although he accepts wounds, but having bandaged them, he returns to formation and receives rewards; so it is in our spiritual war (in the teaching to a newly tonsured monk, f. 3.), “and when temptations of various kinds and passions, and weaknesses, and bewilderments overwhelm you, then most of all be confirmed in faith in the Lord, and do not despair. If only you had received a thousand plagues every day, brother, so that you would not obey your enemy, who would retreat from the feat and deviate into despair; and if this happens to you, even if Satan sees your good will and proposal, he will arm himself against you; Just don’t be discouraged, but believe, and the Lord will soon visit you with a secret visit of His grace.” Read more from St. Macarius of Egypt in the 7th word of the chapter: 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, about which I wrote to you before; and even the word of fasting in John of Carpathia in the 4th part of the Philokalia. From all this you can receive, with God’s help, consolation for your soul. Do you remember with what zeal you wanted to enter the monastery as soon as possible? You felt good in your home, but were you safe from the arrows of the evil one, from the world and from the flesh? What abyss could they plunge you into, given your ardent character? But wouldn’t a joyless fate be associated with you, and wouldn’t it poison your imaginary happiness in the world? everything, everything and everything encouraged you to leave the light and move into a peaceful abode, to seek eternal salvation, and not temporary prosperity. My conscience does not reproach me for the fact that I did not force you, but gave you completely to your will; You convinced me to ask your parents to speed up your vacation. Is this true? You want peace and tranquility of soul, but this is a reward from God’s grace for labors, exploits and suffering temptations, as written above; What have you suffered and are you looking for reward? Humble yourself and consider yourself unworthy of this. And I will remind you from the spiritual elders: “whoever seeks peace runs away from it; and whoever gives himself up to the cross, through humble wisdom, finds peace.” You envy M.S. that she moved into eternity, got rid of the arrows and intrigues of the devil, but she, having lived in the monastery for twenty years, what did she not tolerate? And lately, for quite some time, what kind of suffering have you had? and I believe that I will be worthy of God’s mercy! Have you just entered the field of achievement, and are you already rejecting the struggle? Still a slave to passions, you won’t suddenly get freedom. Read the second letter from Elder Paisius to Dmitry the Priest and to the Arzamas warden Maria Petrovna, and strive for action. Do what is entrusted to you, and do not dare to choose obedience. Keep peace with your sisters and help each other in the flow to heaven; Do not cause grief to your mother with anything nasty; and even more so by unpeace and disagreement. Writing the book of St. John of the Climacus, you will place his words more in your memory, and you will saturate your soul with the manna of his honeyed teaching. May the Lord strengthen your health to do His commandments; what I fervently wish for you, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. July 2, 1847. St. Isaac the Syrian writes in the 57th word: “Whenever you want to begin to do good deeds, first prepare yourself for the temptations that come upon you, and do not doubt the truth. It is customary for the enemy, when he sees someone who has begun a good life with ardent faith, to tempt him with various and terrible temptations, so that from here he comes into fear, becomes cold from good will, and in no way has the warmth to approach godly deeds. And it is not like having such a power of resistance, since no one could ever do good. Otherwise, God gives him permission, just as he understood the righteous Job. Therefore, prepare for yourself to courageously withstand the temptations that come against virtue, and then begin to do these things.” This is very useful for you, and everyone should keep it in mind and not lose heart, but courageously endure temptations, calling on God’s help and recognizing their weakness. Do not be faint-hearted in your illness; God, loving you, sent you a test at the first step of your entry into the monastery and, truly, to cleanse you from any weaknesses that existed in worldly life, believe that our sweetest Lord Jesus Christ loves you, sending you illness to cleanse your spirit. Although our outer man decays, yet our inner man is renewed (2 Cor. 4:16). Do not spare the flesh; Someday it will decay, but the soul is eternal. Love the Lord with all your heart, surrender yourself to His holy will, and try to fulfill His commandments; This is how our love for Him is proven. Temptation is present in everything, and without it you will not know yourself and will not learn spiritual warfare. Remember that every good thought is from grace; and on the contrary, we allow every evil thought to lead to temptation and temptation. But you are still an infant in the concept of this, therefore you must have a revelation about everything to your mother, and not trust your reason, trample on your will, have self-reproach and achieve humility and love, which is what you zealously desire. I.M. July 19, 1847. Accept you, N. and N., my compassion for the departed A. and the consolation not to indulge in hopeless sadness, not to lose health, and even more so to console your mother and take care of her health, you have everything in her; The main thing is that your life in your youth requires vigilant care and nurturing. It doesn’t take long to rise up and fall down, to two terrible extremes, but not to maintain the middle. Do not insult her, be peaceful with each other, try to match each other with pure love for Christ, and treat your mother not with testing, but with faith in everything, obedience and cutting off your waves and reason. Imitate good A., who preceded you to enter the palace of heaven, her meekness and kindness, obedience and patience. Although she did not live long in the monastery, like a bird, having freed itself from the snares of the world, it fulfilled its summer duty, for its soul was pleasing to the Lord! (Wis.4:13). I won’t write to you about this anymore. I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, great sinner Jerome. Macarius. July 29, 1847. I read your letter about the illnesses and last days of A.’s life with a heartfelt feeling and regret, and joyful after the hope that she would receive salvation, according to the great mercy of God. In remembering her name, you again be A. and be, together with S., the consolation of the mother. Maintain peace and harmony among yourselves, bear each other’s burdens (Gal.6:2), this will be pleasing to God, and I, a sinner, will rejoice in your good dispensation. Be healthy, peaceful and calm, I wish this to all of you I.M. August 2, 1847. And she poured out her feelings on a small piece of paper! feelings of grief for A..., and zeal for his mother. The wound of sorrow will be healed, and your strength will increase. From S.’s letter I see your sisterly love for her. ABOUT! May the Lord establish you all in the union of peace and unity of spirit in the Lord! The trip is still far away, don’t worry, maybe your thoughts will change, only if it is God’s will. Peace be with you! many-sinful I.M. I congratulate you on your obedience, may it be your salvation. August 4, 1847. Thanks be to the Lord, who has made you worthy, among the virgins who work for Him, to be a partaker of the Most Pure and Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ, and thereby granted you spiritual consolation. Guard this gift with humility and thank God, who has placed you in the holy monastery. Let us leave the worldly to their opinions, we will not be strict judges of their incorrect concept of our life, but we will find more shortcomings in ourselves, and see ourselves far removed from the path that our saints’ fathers and mothers walked, be amazed at their wealth of virtues and talents, and consider ourselves the last of all. It’s in vain that you are so superstitious, you believe in an ominous voice, and M.... miracles. It is more likely that something may happen that we do not expect, than something that we superstitiously believe; Did you think that A.... would move into eternity so soon? and about those who are sick and expect imminent death, they live a long time. Leave this opinion and believe in God that by His wave and will everything happens to us involuntarily, and of course for our benefit. Mother God is strong enough to strengthen you, be worthy of it! I am very glad that you and S.... are peaceful and unanimous, may this agreement in the Lord be always inseparable between you, help and strengthen each other on this path with the help and care of your mother. With what intention did you write to .... I told my mother, she gets it for you and from the local relatives, but why look at them? And you, with your imaginary heroism, were offended by your own people, that they write about the estate, but not a word about you. This is what should be expected from them; when you are separated from their community, then naturally the feeling of peace is also removed from you. Remember the word of God: if you had been from the world, the world would have loved its own, just as I chose you out of the world, for this reason the world hates you (John 15:19). There is no need for you to be embarrassed about their coldness towards you, but thank God for delivering you from the snares of the world. May the Lord give you a peaceful dispensation, I earnestly wish you. THEM. August 12, 1847. I rejoice that you had consolation, when visiting your monastery, from the honest image of the Queen of Heaven, and I wish that your life, with your cheerful character, would be spent humbly, meekly, patiently, with self-reproach, then you will have spiritual consolation. It is impossible not to have trials that are contrary to us - the darkness and confusion of the invasion, without which you will not know yourself and will not learn patience and humility. It seemed to you from experience, with the cell newly assigned to you, your arrangement and lack of patience, that you must therefore please N... that she lives with her and bears her infirmities. Thank God that mother is strengthening, God is strong and can support her more: “but you are not fit for a fortifying drink” - isn’t there seduction and conceit here? – it can be of a subtle kind! Self-denial, obedience, patience, humility and love on your part can strengthen and calm her, but this requires skill and time, and not one opinion. Be healthy mentally and physically, I earnestly wish this for you, great sinner I.M. August 30, 1847. You describe your joys and sorrows; and that the first illuminated you for a moment, and the last constantly remains in your home. Do not complain about this, but rather rejoice, the Lord loves you, visiting you with them, it is said that the Lord loves him, punishes him: he beats every son, he accepts him, and so on. (vv. 6, 8. Ch. 12. to Heb.), and St. James teaches: Brethren, you have all joy, although you fall into various temptations. Knowing how patience will overcome the temptations of your faith, etc. (James 1:2). Being visited by sorrows, we must be sure that we are on the path leading to the kingdom of heaven, for the Apostles also teach us that through many sorrows we must enter into the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22), and that the narrow and sorrowful path leads into eternal life (Matthew 7:14), and the long one into destruction (Matthew 7:13), - the Lord Himself spoke. But no matter how great the sorrows here are, the consolations still here, although brief, cannot be compared with them. We cannot bear the constant consolation here without deviating into pride or passion. When humility reigns in all our feelings, mind and heart, then consolation will not hurt, and sorrows will be sweet. May God lead us into such a dispensation - the sinful Hieromonk Macarius earnestly wishes. September 2, 1847. About three hours after your departure, your mother came to me with the news of the death of your brother, which followed on October 19th. Don’t be upset by this, but thank God that He accepted him with repentance and Christian guidance. Who knows what his life would have been like over time? They write about this and...; They received the letter on Saturday, but they thought that you had already left, and therefore did not send it here. We organized a memorial for him, may the Lord rest his soul in the kingdom of heaven! And now I have received a bunch of letters from your relatives, which I am sending back to you. Of these, I read only the last one N...; Having prayed to God, and having tamed your heart with self-reproach, answer her as God will enlighten you, without a fire, which is of little use. It seems to me that you can put it this way: “When you have already forgiven, then why bother again? and I forgive you, we will be peaceful from here on, and so on.” But will she accept the word “I forgive you?” She considers herself right, then you can leave this alone, and in the future be more careful in letters, somehow shorter without long-term ties. Even if correspondence between you stops, there is little need, as long as there is no anger left in the heart. Don’t forget what I asked you to do: with...to be more friendly, which can ease the regrettable path that leads to the eternal belly. Be healthy and calm! This is what the great sinner I. Macarius wishes for you. November 4, 1847. The sadness you experienced on the road may have been a premonition of grief over the death of your brother. But how can we seek joy here when we have had unhealed passions; and our path is such that it is impossible to do without sorrows, for through many sorrows it is fitting for us to enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22). However, they do not happen to everyone at the same time and of the same kind, but according to the measure of each dispensation and strength. The holy fathers rejoiced, according to St. To the Apostle, when you fell into various temptations (James 1:2, 2 Cor. 6:10). Don’t be discouraged and don’t be afraid, but be trustworthy in God’s mercy towards you, have peace and harmony with everyone, which is what I fervently wish for you, much-sinful I. Macarius. November 11, 1847. After your sorrowful journey, you were also saddened by the death of your brother and your sister’s letter: she writes about her brother that he died with a peaceful feeling and asked everyone for forgiveness, therefore he was peaceful towards you. Be at peace about this, we remember your brother. And S. wrote to you during his lifetime and it seems she was more irritated by your letter, and that’s where you’re wrong. They are worldly people and their opinions about us are known, reproach yourself and calm down. Thank God that you are in the monastery, and not in the world, strive for passion and acquire humility - you will acquire salvation, which I earnestly wish for you. I.M. November 15, 1847. Your grief eased and you, writing to your sister humbly, calmed down. So, in the future, know that humility always calms us down; use it for salvation, which is what I fervently wish for you. November 18, 1847. The deepest sorrow amazes me: the fact that you are sorrowful and exhausted in it, and the fact that I am the cause of it. But what offends me even more is that you say: “I never imagined that there could be such sorrow in a monastery?” And how much have you read in the teachings of your fathers that sorrows are inevitable and without them you cannot be saved, and I have repeatedly warned you about this. And what, when, why and through whom there will be sorrows, we cannot have terms with God about this; we must firmly believe that, apart from His beck and permission, no sorrow can happen to us; St. Marco writes that even “and “all creation in this regard, the cooperation of God is the will.” (Eastern classes, art. 132.). And again you say: “I even lost heart, because since my arrival there has not been a joyful day, and one sorrow replaces another.” How many thanks have I heard from you to God, that I have honored you with this title, taken you out of the world, rejoiced about this, and in your letters I have seen many times your pleasure, that you live in the monastery and feel contented, peaceful and calm, and now it’s as if you regret the world. Such feelings of yours further aggravate my grief... (be patient, sinful Macarius, for your deeds, he is worthy!) Sorrow has visited you, and you have forgotten how grace brought you to rest. Our path is not to always be in joy; we must enter the kingdom of heaven through many sorrows (Acts 14:22), and St. Isaac writes: “The way of God is the cross every day.” By murmuring and cowardice in sorrows you burden yourself even more. Read from St. Isaac in 51 words about this. May the Lord give you consolation, for through the multitude of my illnesses, Your consolation has brought joy to my soul, writes St. David (Ps. 93:19). I don’t know whether my words will fall on the good corner of your heart so that they can bear fruit? I wish you peace, health and salvation, great sinner I.M. January 17, 1848. January 18th. I ask you to be courageous and not to be offended, otherwise you wrote your last letter to me so mournfully, and with heated expressions. I am a sinful creator and announcer of sorrows to you, but you must judge prudently and accept, although sad, a necessary thing, which should calm you down rather than greatly upset you. I didn’t want to write to you, and I even wrote to M.M. today at 5 o’clock in the morning, but they didn’t take me more than ten minutes, the mail left. All this is just a preface, but there is no real action. I hope that you will accept the news wisely and not be offended. You knew a lot of your daddy’s suffering, and since December it has increased even more and his constant prayer was: Lord, accept my spirit! He has calmed down now. At 12 o'clock on the 15th I fell asleep in eternal sleep until the next resurrection! Before he died, he fell asleep for three or four hours, then he began to die. Peacefully, quietly and meekly his soul flew away from his body, undoubtedly into the hands of the holy Angels! The face of the deceased showed peace, which may the Lord grant him to inherit with his mercy! On the 18th after the all-night vigil at 5 o’clock they came to me with the news that I.G. passed away. I’m now writing a letter to M., I’m on my way to yours, I stopped by the post office, but it just left. From this I concluded that it was obviously not God’s will for you to know so soon. I’m coming to L..., I read the canon over the deceased, I tried as much as I could to console your saddened and joyless mother, they decided to bury him in the monastery. Goodbye until tomorrow! January 19th. Day of Angel M. and mine! S.... right, something will happen? I have vanity and troubles, and I don’t have the slightest time. I receive letters, I have no time to read, I read your letter, but there are enough others left until tomorrow. Your letter is again serious and mournful - laconic. Everything will pass! It's your birthday! I have already congratulated you on this, and now I congratulate you in absentia, you have now surely already received the booklet of the Intercession of the Mother of God, with my letter. We had just come from mass, where my mother was with her family. They came to serve a memorial service, but very early, they had just read the funeral litany. Day 9 for your daddy, you now have the memory of life and death, I know how sad it is for you, but everything will pass. Mama grieves and cannot be consoled, no matter how much you imagine that his life was painful, but now he has received peace. I received your letter yesterday, I will not repeat anything to you about the past, and will not renew the wounds of your sorrowful heart, only after sorrows there is consolation, when the Lord pleases to grant it. Surrender to His Holy will! I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. January 26, 1848. Last year this day, January 26th, I congratulated you on your birthday in my wretched cell, and blessed you with the image of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ with the image of carrying a lamb on a frame. The event has come true for you. He took you on board, separated you from the world, brought you into the fence of His verbal sheep, which graze in the good pasture of the words of God, under the protection of the Most Pure Virgin Mary. And now on this same day of the 21st year of your age, I congratulate you on your birthday. I wish you to be born spiritually, enlightened by the light of true reason, stripped of the darkness and darkness of passions. I am sending you a book as a gift: The Intercession of the Mother of God, with the image of Her Most Pure Face and the Eternal Child. May She be your intercessor and helper all the days of your life, the intercessor of your eternal bliss! What I earnestly wish for you, I ask you to pray for me, a great sinner, Hieromonk Macarius. Yesterday evening I received your letter, written for three days, and finished on January 25th. I sympathize with how hard it was for you to hear about the death of your daddy, and your heart was struck by this event, but your reason should have supported you and God’s help never leaves us when we call on it and rely on it, and not on our own strength. May the Lord strengthen you and rest your father in the kingdom of heaven! I. Macarius. January 29, 1848. Today I wrote to you, beloved daughter, about the Lord, but I find this letter insufficient. In my free time I write to you, but when I send it, I don’t know what your response to my appeal will be? I will repeat your words again: “I never imagined that there could be such sorrow in the monastery.” I excuse your impulse, which comes from impatience and ardor, but you have heard and read all this, that in the monastery there are many sorrows, and they are sent to everyone by the wave and providence of God, according to each dispensation, some at the beginning, some in the middle, and others at the end of deeds, and everyone feels their burden or softness according to their dispensation. The humble one, no matter what the sorrows, considers himself worthy and does not blame anyone, which is why his sorrows are easy, but on the contrary, the proud one, considering himself the first and undeserving of sorrows, blames others, grumbles and is embarrassed, and aggravates his own sorrows. The Lord Himself, calling to Himself, teaches that whoever wants to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and come after Me (Mark 8:34). What is the cross if not the sorrows that Christ endured and left us with an image so that we might follow His footsteps? The wise Sirach teaches: child, if you begin to work for the Lord God, prepare your soul for temptation: guide your heart and be patient. And again: whatever happens to you, be patient with them, and when your humility changes, be patient (Sir.2:1-4). St. Macarius of Egypt in the 7th word, in ch. 13, 14, 13, 16 and 17 he writes that tribulation will certainly befall those who want to work for the Lord. I told you to read them repeatedly, you read them, and you should have expected them and prepared yourself for them. St. John Climacus in the 1st degree: “But those who are thinking of ascending with their bodies to heaven need truly extreme efforts and incessant sorrows, especially at the very beginning of their rejection from the world. The humane Lord, seeing courageous souls, from the very beginning allows the enemies to take up arms against them.” and so on, in the 2nd degree: “we take heed to ourselves, so that we do not go astray along the narrow and sorrowful path in words, but in action, along the long and crowded road; the narrow path will be shown to you by the cleansing drink of dishonor inflicted from people, by enduring reproaches, ridicule, curses, cutting off your whims, enduring annoyances, uncomplainingly enduring contempt and insolent insults. Moreover, if, being persecuted, you generously begin to endure, we are reviled, do not worry, we are humiliated, do not be angry, we are condemned, do not humble yourself. Blessed are those who walk along the spoken path, for to them is the kingdom of heaven.” Degree 4: “establish the anvil, i.e. your thought is on a tree, that is, on the spiritual cross of the Gospel, so that it, being struck by alternating hammers, that is, ridiculed, scolded, reproached, oppressed, is never crushed.” “Drink the cup of reproach every hour like living water.” “Blessed is he who is daily dishonored and destroyed for God; this one will rejoice with the martyrs and talk with the angels. Blessed is that monk who considers all dishonor and humiliation worthy. Drink willingly the cup of mockery, like living water, from every person who tries to give you the drink of your passion that purifies you, then radiant purity will shine in your soul, and the light of God will not dim in your heart.” The stories about Acacius, Abba Cyrus and Antiochus show the benefit they received from enduring sorrows; and that they were and are in monasteries. St. Abba Dorotheos, who endures temptations, clearly shows that they are sent by the providence of God. St. Peter of Damascus in the 1st book: “according to these seven bodily acts, it is appropriate to have patience in all those who happen, even if God allows, to the knowledge, trial and withdrawal of our weakness, and not to be arrogant, not to despair, if anything good or evil happens to him.” From Book 2, Word 5 about patience. Word 10: “A truly humble person never ceases to reproach himself, even if the whole world were advocating and dishonoring him. Humility is born from reason, but reason is born from temptations, for through many temptations and patience, everyone becomes skilled, and from this he recognizes his weakness and God’s power.” St. Isaac the Syrian words 34, 35, 36 and 37 show the necessary path of sorrows for those who want to follow the path of salvation. Word 57: “Whenever you want to begin to do good deeds, first prepare yourself for the temptations that come upon you, for it is the custom of the enemy, when he sees someone who has begun a good life with ardent faith, to overcome him with various and terrible temptations, so that from here he comes to fear and is ashamed of his good will. And this is allowed to him by God.” There is something similar in the 58th word. St. has a lot. Mark the Ascetic, Simeon the New Theologian, and other saints, about the need for sorrows for those seeking salvation, but I showed you little from many that you knew before, but have forgotten from memory, and apparently you only want peace, and you say: “I didn’t imagine that there could be such sorrows in a monastery.” How can we judge this? If you had imagined, you wouldn’t have gone to the monastery? Give up this thought from yourself and surrender to the will of God, let it be as He pleases, only firmly believe that no sorrow can come without His permission. In impatience with sorrows, we must blame ourselves for our cowardice, and not the sorrows that provide our salvation. You write again: “this grief exceeds my strength and I have completely lost heart, I am even terrified for the future, for since my arrival there has not been a joyful day, and one grief replaces another.” I have already written to you about this, that I expressed it incorrectly, and that it hurts my heart. Sorrow exceeds your strength, where is faith and trust in the Lord? Is He really not able to direct your path to salvation? Or just do what seems useful to you, and not what He pleases and what He has predetermined? “There hasn’t been a joyful day since you arrived,” and when I reminded you about the short letters, you retorted that you were peaceful and calm, why didn’t you explain your sorrows, as happened before? (But perhaps I am asking too much; not only am I a sinner, but even if someone were filled with grace-filled gifts, he would not receive any benefit without faith.) I can’t quite guess what kind of sorrows you had, but I can guess somewhat: your uncommunicative life is causing you inner melancholy and boredom. I noticed this from your letter, when you wrote that you sit alone at home and are bored, and again in your last letter to N. you say that your life is monotonous: “a cell, and a church.” How long can it take to be seduced by arrogance about your life? and already a spiritual boa is inevitable. With your ardent, cheerful character, an unsociable life is very dangerous, I’m not saying that you should go to everyone indiscriminately, but you need to go somewhere to a cell or two, for a little distraction, otherwise you will be completely damaged. I’m not saying to have frequent and great absent-mindedness, but to occasionally go to well-minded people. Sitting in your cell, you will be saved from seeing, hearing and speaking, but you will stock up on an opinion about yourself and a joyless feeling; You will never know your weakness. Suppose you have fallen in tongue, hearing and vision: but this should humble you and give you a reason for repentance and ignorance of your weakness. Your silent stay is not yet your measure; it is useful for youth and an inclination, writes Elder Vasily, to mortify yourself. Sitting alone or with your mother in a cell, how do you know your passions? they lie hidden within you, and are not destroyed, you do not have the opportunity to recognize them and resist them, what kind of training will you have? Opinion will creep up on its correction, and others will seem to be in a bad state. I see many imaginary corrections that have brought them to a disastrous state. Before God, a sinner with repentance is better than a righteous man with pride; he is always defeated and imbued with his poverty, and calms down. But this one is blinded by opinion and is deprived of peace. Be calm, this is what the great sinner I. Macarius wishes for you, who loves you in the Lord. February 2, 1848. I want to talk to you frankly: I could not be calm, seeing your double-mindedness and cowardice, especially since it can continue to haunt you, and even more, and even more so, upon arrival at the monastery, you will vividly imagine that you did not keep the power of attorney, changed your word, opened your conscience to me and became the cause of sorrows... what to do to avoid this? I know that you cannot combine and maintain your affection and zeal for both sides. But meanwhile you become faint-hearted, waver on both sides, consider yourself a criminal and are embarrassed. There will be no end to this as long as you are lame on both knees; Even if Baal and so on... establish your thoughts on some basis and be at peace, do not be embarrassed. Pray to God to save you from such bewilderment and cowardice and show you the true path by which you can come to Him. On my part, be sure that I have a desire for you to be calm and to receive the salvation you longed for, for which you left the world, and all the red and pleasant things of this life, and I offer you the means for this according to the teachings of St. fathers. But it depends on your will, action and God’s help; without Him we can do nothing. And when you are sure of this and do not doubt it, then surrender yourself to the will of God; accept with faith the fatherly teachings offered to you and try to imitate them to the best of your ability; If you don’t achieve it, humble yourself and God will help you fulfill the feat of your vow. Just don’t be cowardly and don’t be embarrassed anymore. While there is time, better consider N... and her morality, whether her character will be similar to yours; and if your prejudice is not justified by actually being contrary to it, then I do not need and will not bind you to complete your feat. From what I wrote to you above, perhaps you will be upset with me, and being afraid, you will begin to hide the thoughts that come to you; then I ask you, don’t do this and don’t be afraid, but speak everything frankly; the enemy will deliberately put a bunch of dark thoughts into you and forbid you to speak, through which they can gain a foothold in you. I wrote this to you out of regret and love, and not in order to sadden you and turn you away from myself; through revelation you can free yourself from them with the help of God, which I fervently wish for you. many-sinner I. Macarius. February 10, 1848. You complain about your indifference to everything, and that some kind of darkness and fog appears and settles over your soul; constant emptiness in the soul. And sometimes I painted my life in bright colors. And this disposition of yours saddens me a lot: I sincerely feel sorry for you, and am I really to blame for your sad situation, having given advice on your desire to leave the world, and through imprudence and ignorance, having arranged your path in the wrong way? But God sees my desire to be saved by you, living in a comfortable monastery. God is able to correct a mistake that has happened and arrange it for the better. Do not be discouraged, but trust in God, and in the all-powerful protection and intercession of the Most Pure Virgin Mary. Last year, on your birthday, you received an icon of the Savior carrying a sheep on His frame to the Father, and today on the same day a booklet and an icon about the intercession of the Mother of God. Isn't this a sign of mercy towards you from the Lord and His Most Pure Mother? Don’t think that I did this on purpose; but suddenly, suddenly, the thought turned to these shrines to bless you. What do I mean? But there is a God who provides for you and the Mother of God! Thinking about the future confuses you and darkens your meaning: what future? You explained about S-oh. But this instills empty fear in the enemy, since you were afraid before... Or maybe regret and repentance - which although you don’t explain, but it seems like I understand; and what also worries you when you arrive is what kind of treatment she will receive, maybe even reproaches and reproaches: all this accumulates and brings darkness over you. But do not be discouraged, but turn to the Merciful Lord and the Most Pure Mother of God, asking for mercy and intercession from the disturbing thoughts that have befallen you, and the temptations that you may encounter in the future. But temptations can also be for our benefit, as I have written to you many times and you yourself have read. You weren’t the only one who painted the future of life here with bright colors. If not all, then, one might say, almost all young girls preparing for social life see it bright ahead and expect pleasures in married life. But how often their hopes and all the ghosts of bliss disappear upon entering family life! I know many examples in my memory and in my eyes: from a cheerful, secular, lively person, a gloomy, languid, sad, mournful, sick person is turned. Not everyone has the same fate, but some, a little, others, having tasted more pleasure, drink the cup of sorrow from various cases, which cannot be explained, and all the more painful because it is impossible to throw off these shackles. “So you, who painted life with bright colors, might encounter the opposite; - and most likely, according to current morals, customs and coldness towards religion. Glory to God, that it pleased Him to choose you to serve Himself, and not the world. You have lost nothing, and you will gain a lot. Your present sorrows are gaining you experience and training; without them, how would you die to the world? and your very indifference to everything shows your alienation from the world, i.e. his passions. Do not be surprised that you have or have had sorrows; The Lord visits those who love Him with them; He said to His Apostles: Amen, amen, I say to you, for you will weep and mourn, and the world will rejoice: you will be sad, but your sorrow will be joy. And now you have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you (John 16:20, 21, 22). When you walk the humble path, then you too will receive from God unspeakable consolation, which I earnestly wish for you, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. March 4, 1848. Thank God that you were reassured by my letter about receiving yours. It seems that now your affairs are set in a good way, and then God is strong and can completely calm you down. Do not be faint-hearted as yesterday you grieved for both the letter and the conversations, rely on God, be firm in the faith, and trust in the intercession of the Mother of God. And some shocks are necessary for our temptation. If you could give up everything and live like this, bear need and poverty in everything, then you could give up: but if you can’t, then you should accept small sorrow as an asset, humbling yourself. May the Lord help you and grant you true peace. Be calm and healthy. The first has an impact on the second. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. March 12, 1848. Why are you afraid and afraid of me, to reveal the confusion of your heart to the one who takes an active part in your situation and peace, mental and physical? Tell the thoughts that trouble you: my soul is saddened by all things, and you are troubled by all things! trust in God (Ps. 41:12). He is the helper and protector of your belly (Ps. 32:8). Everything that happened has passed, and what will happen is unknown to us. Why do you need to paint the future of your life with gloomy colors? we went to seek the salvation of our souls, we put our trust in God; let us surrender ourselves to Him and His fatherly providence for us; He knows what is for our benefit, to whom to send what cross to test and to our prosperity, and to whom to send consolation when. Consolation alone, the pleasantness of a quiet life, cannot bring any benefit; it will be a long path leading to destruction, and a narrow and regrettable path will lead to an eternal belly. The enemy, jealous of your salvation, brings upon you such darkness and disgust towards S-y. Have courage and do not lose heart: in these moments, cast yourself before God and fall before the Mother of God, our warm and quick intercessor. Read from St. Macarius in the 7th word of chapters 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, and you will receive consolation. My heart truly hurts for you and I regret your cowardice. If I knew what the best place for your salvation is, I would exchange it for S-k, but I don’t know, I don’t know God’s providence for you, which way he wants to lead you, only a ray of hope shines: when the initial path was sorrowful, then it will surely be more joyful, although it is impossible to completely leave the sorrowful path - that would be madness. St. Isaac writes: “By this we know that man is what we are provided by God when He sends him sorrow.” Who is there without sorrow? look at those living in the monasteries; and in time there is consolation. And what is it worth, that you have gotten rid of so many worldly worries, decency, politics, leading to the transgression of God’s commandments; I must continually thank God for this. If you imagine the pleasantness of worldly life, then imagine its sorrows, compare the calm and serenity of our life, and everything will pass, but I don’t see this in you, so that you would grieve for the world, God forbid! This could be another reason for your darkness - do you imagine how N will be treated at the first meeting? but it will pass soon, just be courageous. And also the second coming unpleasant feeling in S..., imagining what your life will be like there with such feelings; You yourself know what the enemy is doing to you against your desire, but you are embarrassed, and especially because you are afraid of me for this; he has more fun with this and attacks you more. You are afraid to understand where such thoughts come from, so as not to allow them to intensify; we'll talk about this here. “You strongly desire unanimity, but the enemy resists this and attacks you with hostile thoughts. Do not be afraid, every good deed is followed by obstacles and sorrow. With humility you will win, but with embarrassment the enemy will attack you more strongly at the slightest thought, be courageous and despise them. I’ll call you again: stupid, you’re afraid of my anger for this, and as if I’ll think that you don’t want to live with her. Here is a new sorrow for you! You're obviously not entirely sure of me, why do you think so? Don’t be offended by this word, it might upset you? but I wrote this so that you don’t think, and get it out of your thoughts, and explain everything without fear. What a timid girl you are! Well, be calm and confident that I have not been swayed in the slightest by anger towards you, but I see here a network of the enemy spread out over you, both of which are confusing you. – You are standing in a spiritual battle, be courageous and humble and the Lord will give you victory! Peace be upon you, I remain the wisher of your health and salvation, many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. April 1st, 1848. How did you spend these ten days after leaving here? I only have from you a scripture from Belev, to which I answered you. I saw your sorrowful feeling, and I heartily regretted you; But what can you do? You must follow the path set before you, indicated by God, to acquire salvation. Put aside the fear of approaching S..., be courageous, the Lord is with you! He will help you and strengthen you, and the Mother of God will intercede for you! Your cowardice will not help yourself at all, but you will lose heart even more, and yet you will find everything good and kind there. I hope to receive your writing from O..., how you visited there, write from S.... I believe everything that you wrote in the letter about your zeal and disposition towards my badness. How is your health? Peace be with you! I. M. May 1, 1848. In the first two letters you described your journey, sadness, boredom, etc., then the affectionate welcome and kindred feeling of my relatives. I grieved over the first and rejoiced over the last. In your prayer on the road you did this; only the sign of the cross and, moreover, humility did not interfere, pushing away the dream that I was doing good: you can continue to do so. And what can we say about your rules there? Self-reproach alone should replace it, although it is always necessary for us. - I will not always praise you, but sometimes I will reproach you, knowing that you will accept from me for the good, at the same time. Ekdik writes: “reproach is strong, but praise makes a weakened soul.” They praised you there, and you truly thought that you were obviously worth it. The proud thought slipped through, but it’s good that you noticed it and repent of it. Look how many of your attempts: I will remember you not to insult you, but for humility. - Showing yourself, passion in passions, although small, but everything ran through the atmosphere of your heart. You open up, repent, that’s how it should be: but where do they come from? and why are they released? I don't know, you see? I am not tormenting you in this, but for your repentance I forgive you and reassure you, be calm and do not be embarrassed. Your involuntary sorrowful feelings, with my sister’s affection towards you, are excusable: you compared your present pleasure with the past sorrowful days and years of your life. Don’t be embarrassed about the fact that you told her your whole life since childhood, this will more arouse a kindred feeling in her towards you. I don’t forbid writing to me, even a little every day, and even more so when necessary, as long as it doesn’t take time away from your necessary and useful activities. I re-read your notes from the day, and whatever I find most useful, I write to you. You are afraid that you will be indignant at ...., having heard a lot about her bad inclinations, as a result of which, when she was praised and when she was told about her illness, she listened ironically, and then was embarrassed for this. I taught you a lot that it is impossible for peace to establish itself between you when there are no opposing battles, and with the help of God you will overthrow them and reveal them to each other. There is no person who does not have some shortcomings, but we are all in a spiritual war, we fall and rise, and through this we humble ourselves and come to a good dispensation. Don’t be stubborn about this, write to me, and where necessary, explain it to her. May the Lord establish peace and harmony between you; this is necessary on the path leading to salvation, to strengthen each other in the external sorrows and temptations that occur. You mentioned unaccountable grief and longing; this is necessary and useful to our test. What is our devotion, faith and love for God if not patience and this involuntary cross? Do not overwhelm him or make him feel cold, but humbly submit yourself before God. This happens and is allowed for exaltation. The thought that upset you about writing to me... seemed to come from envy, and from the machinations of the enemy, because it did not calm you down, but confused you. Again, the fact that you don’t have a special room, as if you can’t write to me, confused you; who's stopping you? She has an angle, and you have another: don’t be embarrassed about nothing, don’t listen to the enemy’s advice. I don’t want you to doubt about my love for the Lord, just as I see your love and zeal for the Lord, don’t listen to the enemy and don’t be embarrassed. That’s what still confuses you, that you won’t be separated soon and you’re jealous of that....; what is this from? It seems out of lack of faith, and often out of pride, which is also noticeable in the calculations of both of you: N. is ticklish that she was traveling at your expense to us, and now in your carriage, and wants to not be obliged to you. You also find it sensitive that she wants to use her money for travel expenses. When we look more closely, we will see: where the love of money has power over us, there we count every penny so that the extra one does not pass over; and where there is self-love and pride, there we do not want to owe anything to each other in terms of interest; can friendship be preserved here? Passion, all passion, one way or the other, and they are bad mediators in friendship. Elder Vasily, - in the hostel: “your word and mine” calls the peculus of the evil one; it will not bear the good fruits of love and peace. Even if something was transferred to you or her, then why and why should there be a calculation about it? Not only 5, 10, but even at least 100 rubles. passed over someone, I don’t advise you to take it into account, and not to think that I’m favoring, or I don’t want to favor, all this destroys love. Love is more valuable than all the treasures in the world. I advise and ask you both not to take it into account and not to be embarrassed when something passes, is it yours? And what did you do to deserve this? Everything is God's gift, and we are God's. You also mention your mental attempts and repent: may the Lord forgive you about them. Having wished you a peaceful and calm stay, I remain a great sinner, I. Macarius. May the most merciful Lord Himself give you spiritual consolation in the sorrow that greeted you upon your arrival in St. may the monastery and Mother of God intercede and cover you with His mercy, intercession and intercession, so that you do not lose heart, but resort to Them with firm hope in the all-powerful help and mercy of God and His Most Pure Mother, who accepted you into St. abode under your roof! Peace be with you! Yesterday before Vespers I received both of your letters; Reading your letter and seeing your sorrow and cowardice, I deeply worry about you from the bottom of my heart. Occasions and meetings need to happen, but you accept them so sensitively and ardently, you consider yourself some kind of terrible criminal and guilty before...; and meanwhile you remember my words - that I still justified you here, that you did according to my will, but this does not strengthen you much. Do you understand that these embarrassments are brought to you by the enemy in order to confuse you and deprive you of peace and tranquility? I also confirm to you that you are innocent, and not as you imagine your guilt to be. What have you done? She revealed to me what was bothering you and which had no solution. Be peaceful and calm now, I pray and ask you. Endure the thoughts and words that attack you; everything will pass. M. Mother Superior tells you the same thing - that everything will change, how will you learn patience? Run to the Lord without embarrassment, with humility. Even if it were definitely your fault, is there really no repentance? Lord, forgive those who have sinned, and the Lord will take away our sins (2 Samuel 12, 13, 14). You yourself see that your pride is bothering you and that she treats... more peacefully; May all this pass and peace be with you; and while the first impulses of anger and offended pride are active, nothing can pacify him. And although you are innocent, do not forget the monastic duty of self-reproach and self-blame, it will not offend you, but will calm you: self-love confuses, but humility consoles. I will repeat to you again: “reproach is strong, but praise makes a weak soul,” the words of Elijah Ekdik. (at 4 o'clock Dobrotol.) They will reproach you, and when you are prepared for self-reproach, you will bear it more comfortably; and without it it’s hard, because everyone has their own view of things. S.... it’s peaceful here, thank God; God grant that it will always be peaceful; the sisters and Mother Superior take part in you, and I will also write to Mother Superior and ask her about you. Be healthy, peaceful and calm; May the Lord bless you, I earnestly wish and pray, great sinner I. Macarius. May 18, 1848. The shock that happened to you and your other embarrassments that you write about come from vanity and pride; Yes, you yourself recognize yourself this way, but you cannot resist, and for this reason you suffer the crushing of your bones - embarrassment. It is impossible to quickly come to complete humility, and our whole life is, as it were, electrified by various incidents that shake us, and by internal and external battles and sorrows, so that we come to humility through constant self-reflection and self-reproach. When you consider yourself nothing, then what does it matter what they say and think about you? A humble person is always peaceful and calm, but until we achieve this, great skill is required. In every case that shocks you, recognize your weakness and reproach yourself, and not others; Read more often in the fatherly teachings about humility, how it is acquired, and God will help you. With the help of God and the consent of both of you, having arranged your common life, I wish that it would be established between you in peace, harmony and love in the Lord inviolably. This is necessary on this path - to have peace in your cell and a sister in the Lord; You will have much relief during your feat. You write: “friendship doesn’t lose count”; This is a worldly proverb, and the spiritual wisdom: “yours and mine” is a peculus of the evil one, and this is in relation to acquisitiveness and love of money - the root of all evil: but for you, as you yourself see, calculations flow from another stinking source, from self-love and pride, and that too, and maybe something else. All this does not create friendship, but destroys it. I advise both you and her to avoid small calculations as much as possible, and not to harbor the passion of love of money, not wanting to be obligated to each other. This is in the full sense: “peace!” Heart peace and harmony are more valuable than all the treasures of the world; keep it more than money or pride. What do you stop... in her impulses and speed, this shows your love for her, just don’t boast that “I’m smarter than her” and so on; and you ask her to stop you in turn, we are often blind to our weaknesses. I sincerely rejoice at the sisters’ attention to you; and what’s more, is that you now seem to be on the real path of communication with your neighbors; from this you will recognize your weaknesses and their virtues in a better way than when you lived, moving away from everyone and seeing them in black colors, and valued only your life. What could this lead to? That’s why they looked at you like you were some kind of game, and of course not in a good way. It is obvious that God’s Providence put you on your current path for your spiritual benefit: I just don’t advise you to get carried away into greater absent-mindedness. It’s been a month since you left us; time flows by minutes, hours, days and years, and brings us closer to eternity! Be peaceful, calm and healthy, I remain the desire for your salvation, many-sinful I.M. I send you my unworthy blessing. May 19th, 1848. Although briefly, I need to write to you about your letters; I’ll tell you: thank God that you have calmed down at least a little, but having received my two letters, you should calm down and be at peace; and to have no battle at all is impossible: you will not recognize your weaknesses and will not learn patience and spiritual life. You are troubled by the thought that you will not have peace and unanimity; Why accept them and give them an interview? I advise you not to be too confident in your arrogance that I will keep the peace; nor be embarrassed that there will be none: these are two extremes, opposite to each other and useless. And when peace remains between you, do not be arrogant, and if confusion appears, do not become rigid, but subvert it with accusations and self-reproach. I told you and wrote that love and harmony are tempted by the opposite, the enemy hates peace and love, and he tries in every possible way to destroy them, but with your good will and humility nothing will succeed. Isn’t our true love only when we love those who love us? Don’t the pagans do the same thing (Matthew 5:47)? But when we accept the opposite from those we love and tolerate them, then true love appears. There is not much to say about this; let the experience of both show the futility and benefit. Thank you for describing your inner cell images, through which your first experience showed you how to eliminate confusion among yourself. “Army and intercession, confusion and peace, sorrow and consolation” alternately visit us in our feat; what I see on you: sometimes “languid and sorrowful,” sometimes “joyful and pleasant,” and from this a person comes to humility and spiritual prosperity. If you always have, or want to have, “the world has not changed, then be afraid,” writes St. Isaac. (Sl. 78.); and in gradual change we learn the true path we follow. Obedience, you write, consoles you, this is how it should be; and that sometimes you are embarrassed comes from vanity; and in time it will pass. I congratulate you on your approaching patronal feast day in the name of St. Trinity or Descent of the Holy Spirit. May your hearts be filled with spiritual joy. May 24, 1848. I would like to write about all your matters specifically and separately, but I don’t have the strength or time. Which are not so important, only explanations of your structure are described - I leave them, they are resolved for you: by what passion you are overcome or offended by someone - you notice your weakness, reproach yourself, explain to your mother abbess or sister, and calm down. That's doing. I don’t write about each of these cases; and you write, I don’t miss your letters; and seeing your dispensation, in some ways I sympathize, and in others I rejoice. But without temptations it is impossible to come to anything spiritual, to recognize one’s weakness and humble oneself. This is why I won’t praise you, that you take it so hotly and painfully to your heart; and it falls to the breakdown of your physical composition. For this I pray and ask you, do not lose heart in adventures; remember that they are all fleeting. When your heart is troubled, resort to self-reproach and ask God to grant you help and courage, and to drive away cowardice. Although it is true that even though our outer man decays, our inner man is renewed (2 Cor. 4:16), but you and I cannot boast of the health of our inner man either. Do not reject the means offered, out of diligence, for your healing. You grieve that you are led by your own will and cannot surrender as the fathers command. Where can I get this? when Elder Paisios was already in his time, and in the center of monasticism, or in the monastic cradle, St. Mount Athos, could not find this blessing, then what are we talking about our troubled times? The elders have become impoverished! There are no students either! Are you the only one who dreams so much about yourself that you could submit with self-denial; live at least with your equals and, if possible, submit to each other; then the Lord will help your spiritual city to be built, and you will undoubtedly receive salvation through the grace of God. You want to see that you live well and are saved; But you don’t understand that this is where charm is born, and that our infirmities humble us. I thank you for my sisterly love for .... and stopping it in some impulses; and don’t be stubborn to reveal your embarrassment to each other. Now your weakness in the household has appeared to you, but do not be discouraged by this, but humble yourself, therefore, in other cases, beware of arrogance, including do not dare to submit. What I mentioned about the content and what stung you, this is also your weakness and, it seems, rebellion. Do not be offended at me for reproaching me, you promised to accept them; and what you don’t do, don’t be embarrassed about it, but look down on yourself: spiritual science does not consist of a short time, but extends throughout life. I am glad that you like general obedience, it is comforting and useful, you get to know yourself and your weakness. - Asking for God's blessing on you, I wish you health and salvation and remain the great sinner I. Macarius. June 1, 1848. You complain about yourself, that you were offended at me for the words written about your cowardice, and ask for forgiveness. May God forgive you and I forgive you. In the future, try not to fall like that, it hurts me. You see how cowardly you are: one thing or another worries you, and is it even possible to be without fighting while carrying out a saving mission? You often feel melancholy and languor, and this allows you to try faith and love for God and humility. If we were humble, we would always be in peace and consolation, but if this is not the case, then we must endure mental and physical sorrows. - You wonder why in church, during prayer and the rule, you feel heavy and tired, and extraneous thoughts come to you; When you force yourself to prayer and to the rule, then in time it will be given to you that you will pray with peace, as St. Zosima and Macarius. And when you do not see this gift in yourself, then still do not be embarrassed, but humble yourself, and you will be peaceful, and when it seems to you that you are praying well, then by doing so you will discredit the prayer. One prayer without humility and other virtues, not prayer, but a mask of prayer, writes St. Macarius (7 words in the book). Cell work, it seems, brings more peace of mind because you don’t think about it much and just study, and time doesn’t pass idlely; and just as prayer is a weapon against the enemy, he too arms himself against us with various thoughts and confusion, or defiles it with arrogance. Again the holy fool M.... actions had an impact on you; Can we judge actions, some from God, some from the contrary? And even more so, when they cause embarrassment, they seem doubtful; refuse to trust them. The desire that has kindled in you for a common life, following the example of Elder Paisius and Vissarion, seems to still not be strong until experience shows you your structure; Yes, they lived in poverty, and you are strangers to it, they did not have “yours and mine,” but everything was in common (Acts 2:44), and you, out of pride, do not want to be favored by each other. Live for now as it is now, the general content, and according to time and discretion, you can, for that life, as much as possible, force yourself to imitate, with God’s help. Be peaceful and healthy. Hieromonk Macarius. June 3, 1848. I cannot answer everything that you have written, spiritual child, in detail and clearly; It is enough that you wrote, and I read and know your dispensation, and you accept what is written in my previous letters, and consider your current cases and shocks, and be strengthened by them. Accustom yourself to patience, humility and knowledge of your weakness. During the gloom and languor that was with you, you thought of finding consolation by going to mass, but you did not find it - the same gloom was in your soul, and this is because you did not humble yourself, but you went with the hope of consolation. But the Kingdom of God will not come with observance (Luke 17:20). If during this gloomy and languid visit you had truly humbled yourself and realized in your heart that you were unworthy of consolation, then perhaps you would have received it, but as you walked straight ahead, hoping to receive it as if you were worthy of it, you did not find it. God comforts the humble, and when we do not have this, we must resort to humility, but not at all be embarrassed or despair. Know that the cross is more useful than consolation and joy. For the delay in receiving my letter, you have already become faint-hearted; and as it happens, sometimes I completely miss the mail, and even then I need to be more prudent and generous. After all, I am a man, busy with business and being visited by infirmities; Now it’s fasting, your brothers and visitors are fasting a lot, then when there is no letter, be calm and don’t be embarrassed. You have fears from the fear of fires: yes, today and everywhere there is God’s remission of sins for our sake; they are frightening us in Belevo, Volkhov, Kozelsk, etc., but only what the Lord allows can follow us. Because of His will, who can resist? (Rom.3:19). Are you asking for guidance so as not to get carried away into condemnation yourself by listening to other condemners? It seems the best way is to be in such societies less often, and when you already happen to be there, then do not judge them for what they condemn, but remember that you are even weaker than them for this, and when you get carried away into gossip yourself, then bring repentance and humble yourself. In good jealousy...there can be no harm; and when it’s because you don’t want to be or seem worse than her, then it’s not good. I have told you many times to consider yourself worse than the other, and inferior, then there will be no embarrassment. And if there is a change in your dispensation, then it must be so: “darkness and light, darkness and enlightenment, sorrow and consolation, confusion and peace” visit us in turn, for our spiritual education, as St. Callistus and Ignatius in the 43rd chapter. Laughter during prayer comes from the lack of fear of God. Be peaceful, may the Lord keep you in humility, peace and love, - I earnestly wish you, the many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. June 8, 1848. I will at least write briefly about your long letter. It would be possible to skip a mail or two completely, but you are weak and cowardly, you will think something and become embarrassed. – On the first page you realize your weakness in the vision.... about her I; and she herself is busy with it; without approving her for this, I will not praise you either. But this is a struggle, and as you force yourself to consider each one the last, the enemy’s machinations will go away. In every letter I remind you of this, I’m afraid I might get bored. If you remember your coldness towards prayer, you should not be embarrassed for this, but humble yourself. So don’t think about the fact that you went as if out of sorrow, but ... out of good life, and that she will receive more bribes, and don’t be embarrassed - the bribe is given to humility, and not to action. Even if someone goes out of love for God, one must wait to see what the end of the feat will be; and you did not go out of sorrow, but also out of love for God. And this is what the enemy inflicts on you to confuse you; in any case, humility is better. Destroy your self-love little by little in any case, because you won’t be able to get rid of your passions soon. It is impossible not to show embarrassment that you are not offended; you must observe: you are confused and speechless (Ps. 77:5), but inwardly look at and reproach yourself for the movement of passion. By doing this, little by little you will receive healing from passions, and you will reach the point: you are prepared and not embarrassed (Ps. 119:60). May the Lord bless you and strengthen you in spiritual life, and may the Mother of God intercede and keep you in your ways. Be healthy mentally and physically. The many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. June 14, 1848. You are embarrassed why you do not live as it is written in the books of your fathers, but want to be saved; but you are in the army, and you have strong enemies fighting you: you fall, you recognize your weakness and involuntarily humble yourself; and if you go without failure, then the enemy will hinder others - with pride and arrogance; and therefore it is good for youth to eat and to fall, let him humble himself. This embarrassment came over you from pride and arrogance, why are you not a saint? but I didn’t think that you were the worst. In learning and in everything you do, you make mistakes until you get used to it; and even more so in the art of art - you can’t live without it until you come to terms with it. As the illness progresses, different medicines are given, so in our mental illnesses different teachings are proposed; The grace of God reaches everyone, but not in equal measure: He wants to save everyone, but does not consecrate everyone. To destroy our pride, the Lord allows various falls and temptations; read Gregory the Sinaite ch. 117 and in the preface of Nil Sorsky, fastening. - Walk humbly and be calm. The very fact that you do not live as they write should humble you, but you are embarrassed. Remember the teaching of St. John Climacus about the poor, how, seeing the wealth of kings, they become more aware of their poverty, so do we... No, you want to see yourself as good, so as not to humble yourself. You see reverent sisters, you rejoice over them, but despise and humiliate yourself, that you are worse than them. Sisters often cry in church: but I will not approve of their crying; These are not their measures, I have not heard about this from them. – You read the 6th degree of the ladder and my letter about tears (it seems you wrote it): tears are often the fault of arrogance, and it is not ordered to believe those tears that flow before cleansing; and when we rely on them, these tears are not true, but lovely. “I’m not in the least burdened by your writing, don’t even think about it, as long as it brings you benefit.” You occupy yourself with an empty thought, how .... before he dies, how will you remain? as if God is not strong enough to support you? Yes, you shouldn’t even think about it; who knows who will die first? enough to think about the present. When reading the books of your fathers, do not get carried away by high dispensations, they are given to the humble; worry about this most of all. Take a better look at Callistus's chapters; What will you get without patience and humility? and do not climb the mountain at once - read chapter 43. June 17, 1848. You, having described your sorrowfully spent youth, recognize the incomprehensible providence of God for you, caring for your salvation. Exactly, what would you do with your fiery character? and having no idea that one should have a struggle with passions, and with humility attract the mercy of God. Unfortunately, this science is rarely known in the world, and if they do something good or do not fall, then this also serves as food for pride, which in turn supports them. Do you have the vague thought that you have gone through sorrows, as if there will be no more reward for you? I then briefly mentioned to you that reward is not given to action, but to humility, and the Lord awaits what the end of our feat will be; This would be enough to refute your thought, but I will also say from Climacus: “that the seed that accidentally fell to the ground bore much fruit,” and so on. Yes, it’s worth it that you are in the holy Orthodox Church, enjoying its holy teaching and sacraments, reading the father’s precious books that reveal to us our inner man, you know at what end he was created, and what he can achieve. You see yourself in the midst of greatness and humility, and you hope in God’s mercy not to lose eternal salvation; having plunged into the vanity of the world, you would have been alien to all this, and it is unknown whether you would have remained in pure Orthodox teaching, or whether you would have deviated from the opinion of your relatives and friends of Lutherans. Do you see what blessings God’s providence has given you through sorrows! thank Him and humble yourself! It was painful for you to endure from everyone; who doesn't want to be happy and loved by everyone? Yes, not everyone benefits from this. By involuntary patience you got rid of the delights of the world and its tasteless consequences. And a child cries when something that harms him is taken away from him; and when it comes to meaning, he thanks his mentors. So, be grateful to those whom you considered to be your offenders, and they are your benefactors. – I remain, asking for you peace and God’s blessing, much-sinful I. Macarius. June 19, 1848. You should not be embarrassed about your spiritual weaknesses, but repent and humble yourself for non-correction. Is it possible to praise that you saw yourself at your best before? she could have been completely seduced by her shrine. Now every day your weaknesses are revealed to you, repent and humble yourself every day, and think that everyone is better than you; and when it bothers you, it is obvious that your pride is the reason. Do not look for love in others for yourself, but look for it in yourself, not only for your neighbors, but also for your enemies. Are you asking why it’s so hard to say that little word “forgive”? Wouldn't St. be pleased with the answer for you? Simeon the New Theologian, chapter 31: “as soon as someone is offended for annoyance, he will already know that he is carrying around the ancient serpent in the depths”; And he does this work, which does not allow himself to be reproached, meanwhile he torments him with unworldliness and embarrassment. Having learned from experience the benefits of the word “forgive,” do not abandon it. With your illness and infirmity, you may sometimes not go to church and to obedience; Sometimes jealousy is not according to reason. May the Lord strengthen you in enduring illness and grant you healing, if it is His holy will. Don’t think too hard about taming the flesh, but always be ready to resist in battle. You will not know your insignificance when you do not feel your weaknesses through various falls, mental and obvious. Why do people gifted with reason fall into such great delusions? It is obvious that the mind is darkened by pride and self-importance and deviates in the opposite direction. I wish you peace, health and salvation. I. Macarius. July 22, 1848. Beloved child in the Lord! I begin to talk with you again: I wish that my conversation yesterday will serve you as reassurance in your temptations, which, it seems, also comes from self-love and spiritual pride. May the Lord help you to truly humble yourself and get rid of cowardice, the offspring of these passions. The only reason you cannot allow your dream to be believed is because it has confused you; I always write to you that your confusion comes from the machinations of the enemy, why do you need more sleepy confirmation? Perhaps the enemy has those methods so that, having seduced you with the right dreams, he will then lead you into complete delusion. It’s better to leave and don’t believe in dreams; we have the word of God and advice - St. fathers' teaching, but in perplexity we have Mother Superior, sister, and I, a sinner, according to your faith, will write something, although I myself am insufficient and poor in everything, but God will not allow you, who have given yourself to His service with all your heart, to be deceived. You, describing the painful and mortal cases that happen to you, are afraid of death, with what will you come to God? We must all worry about this, how to appear to God, and reconcile our conscience with repentance and humility and reliance on the ineffable mercy of God. Death is necessary for all of us, but we don’t know when; and everyone ends his time here when it is assigned to him by God; and you be peaceful and calm, surrendering to the will of the Creator of us! Do you remember how you repeatedly asked me to pray that you would die soon? I saw your childishness and laughed at you, but you were not joking; Now, seeing others dying, you feel fainthearted for yourself. Submit it to the will of God; Only those who are appointed at this time will die, and you will live. Your desire to indulge in solitude is wrong and dangerous for you; you will be overcome by opinion. You can come into your own somewhat when there is an opportunity and time for this, but you can also observe whether your wisdom is humble and not be embarrassed when insulted. Living with a sister of like mind, and keeping your conscience, you can have time to examine yourself, reasoning with each other, and reproaching yourself; and when God’s will is done, you will have your own cells, then you can allocate part of the time for this; but it is necessary to take care, but instead of good fruits, one should not reap the chaff. Peace, unanimity and agreement among each other are better than your imaginary silence; here, trying to preserve them every day, you become aware of your weaknesses, humble yourself and correct your morality; and “solitude and silence have destroyed many unskilled people.” writes St. Climacus; and in the life of Elder Paisius, in the preface to Nil Sorsky, page 169, read there and it says about the desert; but we can also apply our unreasonable silence, as passionate beings, to this. Today is the feast of the Tikhvin Mother of God, I congratulate you on this triumph; You have faith in this image, may the Queen of Heaven intercede for you and give you mental and physical health! Asking for you God's blessing and the Queen of Heaven's protection and intercession, I remain I.M. June 26, 1848. I wrote quite a lot about you last time, but even now I don’t want to leave your letters unanswered. I see from your letter that you are afraid of death at this painful time; I wrote to you so that I would not be afraid of her; you will say: I am afraid of sins. For this there is repentance and hope in God’s infinite mercy and love for mankind: confusion and loss of spirit greatly harm one’s health. I am enclosing an extract about the fear of death of St. John Chrysostom, be strengthened and comforted by it, you will be healthy. I do not reject your desire to die in our monastery, but I advise you to leave it to the will of God, then when it comes, it will give you the means and convenience to come to us in exhaustion. Thank the Lord that you and S... are peaceful and in agreement, this consoles me a lot; I am also grateful to the sisters that they visit you, leaving their spiritual studies, and console you in illness and sorrow, and may the Lord Himself comfort them! It would be very necessary to refrain from condemnation, so as not to be condemned; we must remember this commandment of God and have the fear of God, remember our sins and beware; and in case of forgetfulness and creeping, immediately reproach yourself and repent, and often read the teachings of St. about this. Climacus and Abba Dorotheus, and thereby restrain himself. The word you expressed will not have a place in hell even if it is spoken out of a strong consciousness of one’s sinfulness, but this is what we must desire, so that there is no place for us there. When the Lord, in His mercy, delivers us from it, he will of course give us a place in the kingdom of heaven; for the third place is not visible from scripture. You were offended by this word, due to your distorted concept of this; but thank God that He consoled you with my letter. The emotion born from looking at icons is dangerous; How long will it take to be deceived? Perhaps you will see some phenomenon; and standing with a bowed position is more convenient for attention and self-indulgence, then even though there is no tenderness, in its place there will be humility in the consciousness of one’s poverty; You can temporarily look at the icon, and even more so when you bend over. Infatuation with childish consolation cannot harm you; it also shows you your weakness. You raise me above measure, is it really surprising for me to think that I am something? It was much fairer when you looked at me as a person - that is what I am, and I must add, a sinner! Now you have described in more detail about your illness: and everything must be attributed to the will of God, who wants your salvation. The disease involuntarily forces one to remember about the future life, and not to get carried away by the delights of the world; and the mind after illness is cleaner and more transparent, and it also replaces the lack of our deeds. You can fulfill the rule due to illness not only without large, but also without small bows; when there is weakness, turning the mind to God is required, and when there is strength, then bodily labor is also needed. Reading about the falls of people, marvel at the mercy of God; and remove from yourself any embarrassment from talking about you or anything else. There is nothing to marvel at, that you were not previously overcome by passions; you were still a baby, and nothing reached you; But is this really salvation, so as not to be fought, but to think a lot about yourself? and not know your passions and infirmities? As you get to know them, humble yourself and learn struggle and humility. Asking for you the peace and blessing of God, I remain the great sinner I. Macarius. June 29, 1848 St. John Chrysostom (Christian Reading June 1848). “Really, what’s scary about death to me? Even if a person does not kill you, then the very law of nature, at a certain time, will not separate the body from the soul? Let what we fear not happen now, but it will happen after some time. I say this not because I expected anything terrible or sad, but because I am ashamed of those who are afraid of death. Do you expect such blessings without seeing them, without hearing them, without sighing in a person’s heart, and are you not in a hurry to enjoy them? You are negligent and procrastinating; and not only do you hesitate, but you are also afraid and trembling?” further page 308: “we definitely feed childish fear when we are afraid of death, and not afraid of sin. Small children are frightened of the faces, and are not afraid of fire; they reach out to the lit candle. So we are afraid of death, which is an insignificant mask (mask), and we are not afraid of sin, which is truly terrible and, like fire, devours the conscience, and this usually does not come from the essence of the matter itself, but from our unreason: so if we consider what death is, we will never be afraid of it. What is death? The same as taking off your clothes! The body, like clothing, covers the soul, and through death we lay it off for a short time in order to again receive it in its brightest form. What is death? Temporary travel; sleep that is longer than usual; therefore, if you are afraid of death, be afraid of sleep.” You write that after reading Art. 7th about tears, I noted that one must have wisdom and pay attention so as not to fall into delusion; That is why it is dangerous to indulge in tears, apparently spiritual ones, until we enter the land of humility. I will send you a letter in which the quality of tears is very well discussed, and another about someone who does not have pure prayer and is embarrassed; and also about monasticism, denial and search for it. You complain about embarrassment at the conversations of others in church, and take it personally. What kind of important person are you that people don’t talk about you? How can you acquire patience and humility when no one touches you or reproaches you? Or maybe they say something completely different, but it bothers you, then it’s better to reject the embarrassment; but reproach himself, and he will go away. That you sometimes have internal confusion and cannot speak, stems from the internal structure and the deposit of passions: it seems that I pointed you to Callistus chapters 43 and 85. Be patient, reproach yourself and it will pass. Yes, it is necessary in our training. Salvation is not achieved through play or effort, but through many sorrows we must enter into the kingdom of God, teaches St. Apostle (Acts 14:22). Be healthy and peaceful. I earnestly wish this for you, great sinner I.M. July 3, 1848. I’ll tell you, in response to your letter, although not in such detail, but as much as time allows: the attention you described to actions... is not useful for you. Why should you look at her and her conversations in church? If you had not seen anything, you would not have fallen into condemnation about her; God is able to save her by His destinies; And even if you accidentally happen to see something, don’t believe it, but pay more attention to your structure. I’m skipping a lot, I’ll say in response to your question about the premonition about the deprivation of relatives, that they are coming true, is it not from the enemy? I cannot say precisely and decisively, but we can assume that the enemy can act; since he sees everything that is happening under heaven; and in order to seduce, he bores him with an event already known to him, and supposedly coming true from a premonition. And some may naturally sympathize. Your present premonition about mamma is completely false; Of course, you received her letter in my envelope on Friday and found out the reason for her silence. I believe that the Lord deigned you to partake of the Holy Mysteries last Saturday, I congratulate you on this, may this be a reliable reassurance from the fear of death. Peace and blessings of God be upon you! and let there be inviolable peace between you, the great sinner I. Macarius July 5, 1848. I feel sorry for you that you were upset at not being worthy to be a communicant of the Holy Mysteries, along with the sisters; remember that .... it was sorrowful on Maundy Thursday when she lost this gift, and now you. From this, know both sorrow and joy, both your own and your neighbor’s, and learn to rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who cry. I have already written to you quite a bit about your embarrassment. As for N.N.’s warning, God save her for this, and not only through you, but she herself can tell her directly, in a sisterly way, what she finds unfounded and hasty in her. There is no elder, who can tell you? But we ourselves cannot always see our shortcomings. Our proud mind sees more the strangers than our own, although the tongue turns to self-reproach, it still lies, and even more firmly when we accept investments from others out of love or malice. Your opinion about the monastic image is somewhat confusing; We will all appear before the judgment of God, and those who spend their lives through exploits, or repentance, patience and humility do not endure ordeals. The end of life is unknown to us and therefore we must always prepare for the end, and not at the present time; but the Lord is strong to preserve you, just be free and calm in spirit, and its decline multiplies bodily illnesses. May the Lord fulfill your desire to die in our monastery and lie at the feet of your parent, grandfather and grandmother, all three of them are now in one grave. For God's sake, be at peace among yourselves, humble yourselves, so that the machinations of the enemy will not be effective, and the peace of God will be with you! I wish this to both of you, much-sinful I.M. July 10, 1848. I congratulate you on your acceptance of the Most Pure, Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ: evening may come, and in the morning there will be joy (Ps. 29:6); You were offended the other day, deprived of this great gift, and then the Lord sent you consolation. Glory to His abundant mercy! With our many sorrows, it provides some spiritual consolation. You grieve that before you had more time to study, but now you don’t see where the time goes. But you are not idle, but everything is in action, so be at peace; the time of every thing (Eccl. 3:1): then you wrote and read, but now the time of that fulfillment has come. What's the use of just reading? You were just carried away by your opinion of yourself, and now, being in business, you also recognize your weakness. You are consoled by reading the book of St. Isaac: wonderful book! That you cannot endure sorrows is because you have not yet learned; when they don’t exist, you won’t learn patience. God carefully sends them for our teaching, and we should not blame our neighbors for being the causes of our sorrows; no, the reason is our structure. Book of St. I will send you Isaac, I have two of them, just use them humbly. I don’t write in detail about all your actions and incidents that happen to you; They are all fleeting, but meanwhile you learn experience and art from them. Remove your thoughts from condemnation and contempt, reproaching yourself. I wish you peace, health and salvation. Much sinful I. Macarius July 13, 1848. Peace be with you! May the Lord forgive you for the temptation that involuntarily happened to you after receiving the Most Pure and Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ. You were embarrassed when you saw your temptation, but you did not approach it boldly, but out of fear of illness and to encourage and calm your spirit. Cast your sorrow upon the Lord, and He will forgive and comfort you! Perhaps it was your secret vanity and contempt for your neighbors, and that is why you indulged in your humility; be careful in advance, but now calm down; Although I myself am a sinner, I send you my unworthy blessing. You were consoled after receiving the Holy Mysteries, and then the enemy brought confusion into you, but you shouldn’t have been embarrassed like that. Human weaknesses must be borne, since we ourselves demand God’s mercy and are forgiven of our sins. M. Mother Superior did not sadden you and consoled you with her mother’s love. God save her! From your letter I see that Mother Superior wants to do favors with you, she is giving you a cell, I will now be calm. May the Lord and the Mother of God bless you! be grateful to Him for this mercy. Your question regarding the words of the Gospel and peace on earth is “where is the peace?” not exactly dexterous. The world has been given to us, but we ourselves are the reason that we are deprived of it; If we fulfill the commandments of God, then nothing can take peace from us. We must seek love and peace within ourselves, and not demand it from people. When there could be no insults to our temptation, then why would there be a commandment about patience and love of enemies? Before the coming of Christ, people were under a curse and did not have peace, but by this (coming) they were reconciled with the Father. Regarding your behavior with your mother and sisters, behave humbly, do not forget when they caress and respect you. Is there a blessed reason for your fear of having your own cells? Aren't there more sorrows in someone else's life and in such close quarters as you live? leave this chimera. Our illness has subsided; Although there are patients, there was no more mortality. Thank the Lord and I am healthy! Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain I.M. July 17, 1848. Are you asking me to teach you how to thank me? There are many teachers, but no performers. Your reward would be very great for me, for my efforts and care for you, so that you do not upset me. Can you tell me why I'm upset? by upsetting your health, taking everything sensitively and indulging in unnecessary tears, believing that they relieve your chest, but instead you upset the entire organism of your existence. People are already complaining to me about you for crying so much, and they don’t know how to console you. What touched you so much when entering your future cells? Have you been collecting thoughts at home about how we will live in our cell? and so on. How cowardly you are! God willing, you will decorate your cells, you will have your own cozy cell, you will pray to God with humility and try to maintain peace with your sister and with everyone. I wrote to you about the gloom and languor of the spirit, that this happens in our life for spiritual progress; At this time, resort to self-reproach and humility, about which St. Isaac the Syrian. Just have peace, and building a cell will be good for you: some distraction and occupation will entertain you and free you from despondency. I read the description of your childhood, and I marveled no less than you at the wonderful and merciful providence of God for you: how do sorrowful incidents lead to the true path and to the true mind? and at that time you had no idea how and why this was done? I saw the passions of people and my own resentment, and now God has clearly revealed to you that God’s Providence led you to good. Remembering this day is useful for you; ascend to God with thanksgiving! Be peaceful, healthy and calm, I wish this for you, I.M. June 22, 1848. It seems that not all of your questions have been answered; from the 12th to the 15th, while skimming through your letter, I noticed in many places that gloom weighs heavily on you. Humility and submission to the will of God is the best means of enduring this cross. It is not without reason that the Lord sends it to you, but to teach you patience and humility, and to cleanse the filth from your soul. Peace is found in humility and meekness, as the Lord teaches us and commands us to learn from Him, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). “I accept your unflattering zeal with which you pray for me to the Mother of God; perhaps your childish and simple-hearted prayers will keep me a sinner and still alive on earth.” “Don’t be afraid that in self-forgetfulness you will sometimes utter a word to our warm Intercessor from a burning heart and feeling: “Mother of God, my dear, have mercy!” It is simply indecent to use such words, but no matter how it breaks out from the fervor of feelings, the Mother of God will not repay for this. Just as the babbling of a baby is pleasant for a mother, how much more so will our Mother, the Heavenly Queen, not turn away our infant prayers. St. Tikhon of Zadonsk often, when he prayed, the cell attendant heard him expressing: “Lord have mercy! Breadwinner have mercy!” - the simplest cries of an infant, undoubtedly pleasing to the Heavenly Father. As for the exploits .... with which you, that is, with their life, are inflamed - it’s the same as drinking sweet water in a dream; no, you cannot bear that life, there are great inconveniences there at the present time; where should you carry it? live where the Lord has led you. Peace be with you! much-sinful I.M. July 24, 1848. Yesterday I received your letters in due time and I will write about them in my feeble mind. On your first page I see how you both are fussing about, thinking about rebuilding your cell, drawing plans; then walk around the cells, consider the convenience of the household, etc. I see that this makes you seem bored, that you don’t have time for cell work and sitting. I find this necessary and useful for you: in this shake-up your structure is electrified; you see it, conquered by one or the other, you humble yourself, repent, and there is no time to look down on others when you yourself are in the mire. Your worries and vanity are not permanent, but temporary; and they are all the more pleasant because they give hope for a calm passage of life - to have your own cell and find peace with a book. But if you sit down on imaginary peace, then instead of fruit you will find tares. I wrote to you what the fruit of your former life could have been: a mental constrictor and tireless boredom, and sometimes mental frenzy. Having not been in a spiritual war and having not had a struggle with passions, silent sitting brings arrogance; and St. John Climacus forbids such passionate people to indulge in silence. Your current languor and gloominess seems to have remained a leaven from your previous life, where you thought about your correction, and humiliated others verbally and mentally; and she would be so carried away by delusion that she would not even notice it, but only instead of spiritual fruit, joy and peace, she would acquire the opposite fruits. I believe that now God has carefully allowed you this vanity, so that you can work on yourself a little and humble yourself, not at all hoping for your corrections. If you follow the rule, do not think highly of yourself, and when you happen to get carried away by vanity and be in an unsettled spirit, do not be embarrassed, but humble yourself. I know many who have gone through a silent life, and were unwittingly placed or carried away into vanity; and this is because it was necessary to destroy the chimera that had crept into them. “You can’t approve of yourself for getting carried away with your thoughts in construction and so on, so you involuntarily have to come to terms with it. – You should appreciate the attention your mothers pay to you, but do not consider that this happens because of your dignity, but because of the grace of God. He, seeing your weakness, informs us to take care of you; there are others out there more worthy than you, but they are not so cared for. And in due time, temptations may also be presented to you. - S....beware of starting conversations in church, simply saying: “I heard from my mother that in temptations one must humble oneself and endure, and even when I am weakest, I resort to these medicines,” otherwise, from long conversations, unpleasant suspicions may of course emerge; Yes, you cannot know other people’s dispensations, since yours are unknown to others, and everyone judges how he understands things, rightly or wrongly, without understanding it. Cases and experiences will be your teachers in your life. The consolations that come, do not consider yourself worthy of it, but thank God for His mercy; but when you get carried away by an opinion about yourself or enjoy yourself, then later you will suffer the opposite, from which may the Lord deliver you. - In those cases when you are not in the spirit against .... afterward, tell her this weakness, then in advance you will not give the enemy a hand against you. Are you asking what to do when in dealing with people you should tell them one thing, but in your heart something else? Look at your intention with which you speak: if you, by contriving some kind of evil against your neighbor, and through flattering words, want to bring it into action, then this is a great sin; and when, although you feel some kind of dislike towards someone, and when you meet, you speak kindly, then this cannot be made worse; Is it really necessary to pour out something that must be armed and fought against? and by forcing yourself to be treated kindly, although not truly, this dislike will be destroyed, and even more so when you see yourself. – I read it now, at St. Isaac the Syrian’s 61st word on recognizing one’s weakness and humility I advise you both to read it and accept it to strengthen yourself on this path, and walk on it. Be peaceful and calm, which I earnestly wish for you, much-sinful I.M. July 27, 1848. Today I received your letters, and could not read your letter without heartfelt sorrow, in which you wrote about your bodily suffering resulting from mental illness. I deeply grieve for you that you are sick in body and cannot calm down in spirit, but meanwhile I recognize from this the mercy of God towards you: it was not without His Fatherly providence that your illness was allowed. It would be no small feat to have a struggle with passions, but now there is a different kind of sorrow - enduring illness, which will replace bodily labors and exploits, just do not shy away into grumbling, but endure with thanksgiving; but do not aggravate your illness with mental disorder, accepting with ardor and sensitivity what happened and happened. Read the life of Pimen the Many-Sick, how he did not even want healing from his illness, and what fruit his illness brought him. For salvation, we need not only voluntary sorrows, but also involuntary ones; and even more so, when we become depleted of the free, the involuntary help us and arrange for salvation. May God grant that you are healthy, and in your new cell, while struggling, you are spiritually consoled. But you are still worrying yourself: if you have your own cell, you will lie more and make your sister sick. On the contrary, it is painful to look at suffering, and to do service and help to a sick person should be considered happiness, that God deigns to serve one’s neighbor and somehow prove a friendly disposition towards him. Isn’t that what you yourself would have done if she was ill? But God willing, you will be healthy, not only physically, but also mentally. Just as you previously dared to speak boldly about death, so now, on the contrary, you are timid, but be sure that you will not die, unless God has appointed you to die now. The Lord is able to fulfill your desire - to finish your career in our monastery, but the time has not yet come. May God's will be done on us! I ask you, for God’s sake, do not let the spark of hostile thoughts fall on both sides; then it will be difficult to cope with them when they intensify. You yourself see how difficult it was for you to explain yourself when you came up with the thought that “I will not tell” (to my sister); however, she did not have peace, but being forced, she calmed down. Of course, every good deed requires coercion, because the enemy opposes it. You ask about the words of St. Isaac, written by Callistus, about prayer, which is without straining the body and oppressing the heart, is a monster. This is said so that we do not become proud of our prayer, but consider it insignificant, but do not be faint-hearted. – The Lord accepts the prayer of the humble. And besides, this tends not to such ascetics as you and I, but to those who undergo great labors and exploits and force themselves in everything; and what kind of prayer books are you and I? and you involuntarily have to come to terms with it. - If you, not seeing in yourself such labors as are said in the toil of the body and the consolation of the heart, become despondent, and leave the prayer you have, then what will come of it? Scripture says that the forest is dark; We can soon get lost in it when we take on things that are not according to our measure and strength. But this is more useful and salutary for us, according to the same St. In the 55th word of Isaac it is written: “Whoever does not imagine himself to be a sinner, his prayer is not acceptable before God.” There is something similar to this, but most of all we must pay attention, with all our good doing, to humility, without which all our deeds are insignificant. Asking for God's peace and blessing upon you, I remain I.M. July 31, 1848. Your last letter comforted me somewhat that you had calmed down. “You yourself understand the machinations of the enemy, with which he tries to incite you against each other, instilling fierce thoughts and leading to indignation. You have not yet conquered passions, and you have guarantees of them in your hearts, but in the world you do not know about them, and the enemy, outraged by them, fights you. There are opportunities for you to destroy them: by self-reproach, self-awareness and explanation to each other; but this is not a matter of one day or an accident, but a lot of time and skill is required so that the enemy is driven away from the pastures of the heart, and inalienable peace is established. Everything that sings quickly and comes out without difficulty is fragile. Describe the shock that happened to you? After all, you are in the school of Christ; He allows occasions to teach you: and who would dare to touch you if He did not allow it? M. Abbess very wisely and spiritually gave you consolation that through battle your salvation is achieved. - I feel sorry for you, as you are weak, cowardly and untrained. The Lord granted you consolation on the feast of the Dormition of the Most Pure Virgin Mary, by Her mercy, after the previous shock; spiritual consolation either precedes or follows rebellion, the holy fathers write, and they command not to lose heart in sorrows, and not to rise in consolations. I am heartily consoled that you have peace and harmony among yourself, but let the enemy not envy you and inflict any indignation on you; and therefore there is no need to be careless and safe, but to have on guard: humility and love, which destroy all attacks and disturbances, and crush all the networks of the enemy. Let your heart not be lifted up about this, I repeat. I wish you peace, health and salvation, many sinners. I.M. August 19, 1848. After peace, you write, excitement and a storm of confusion and unpeace befell you. This was to be expected; I noticed how you both were carried away by some kind of arrogance about your world; and the enemy is already trying to disrupt it in some way, and what were the pretexts? Afterwards, marvel at this yourself; there was no lack of self-reproach, humility, or love here; but on the contrary, everything was the opposite. Here it was convenient for him to swear at you. In addition, cowardice overtook you for not correcting yourself, and it confused you even more, and instead of reproaching yourself, explaining yourself, and saying, “I’m sorry,” as before, and calming down, you suffered until you punished yourself enough. Do not be amazed at this, but recognize your weak disposition and humble yourself more. Soon, and easily acquired wealth is not as valued as hard-earned wealth. You ask why you have zeal for the sick....? It seems from the same enemy forgery and passions hidden in you, which you have not yet conquered. With your efforts, self-reproach and God's help, all this will pass; and especially when the fruit of humility and love for the Lord grows in both of you. What can I tell you about the dream you saw, which you carried so far and cruelly? I think this: when you were deeply wounded about your disorder, then your real arrangement was shown to you, but you need to distinguish whether it is from the truth or from a lie? if it is from the truth, it will serve you for correction, but if it is from a lie, it will cause confusion. Consider both for yourself. - It’s amazing how such a great pillar fell like you, crawling with the passion of the love of money? Well, if this evil thought had not passed through and touched you, then perhaps you would have dreamed of yourself as being alien to this passion; and now you can’t help but say: “I am a damned man!” It’s not because I want good that I do it, but because I don’t want evil, I do it.” (Rom.7:24, 19). All kinds of passions are still hidden in us, and we do not know them until their guilt appears before us, and we, being unskilled in them, are embarrassed by small inclinations; and when we remember that every fall is preceded by pride, then we will take care of acquiring the opposite of it - humility, destructive of passions. I myself am extremely poor at this great gift of humility, I care about you, wanting to plant it in your hearts, I deliberately select from the books of St. fathers, about this great virtue, and I will send you, although not all, but a few selected ones. 13 It is not bad that you yourself learn to know the economy; you are not composed of one soul, but also of a body; but the body is needed for the salvation of the soul, and you also need to take care of it. Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, much sinner I. Macarius August 23, 1848. Yesterday I received your letter. I have no doubt about your childlike love and affection for me in the Lord, of which you assure me; and I see in fact an effort to implement my advice, which relates to your benefit, although it has not yet reached the desired level. But what can we do, we are in training, and the trials that happen to us every day make us wise, lead us to the knowledge of our weaknesses, and to humility. You write, “that all mothers and sisters are kind, whatever you ask, they do everything for us”; and even if they didn’t do anything for you, and on the contrary caused insults, then they should be considered “kind”; and attribute insults to yourself that they are worthy, and that God commands them to insult you; - then you will be at peace too. - Your current rumor will not harm you at all; the time has not come for you to sit in silence; writes St. Barsanuphius: “Even though you were in your cell, he made you unskillful, as if you were without sorrows. And if you remain without care ahead of time, the enemy prepares confusion for you, increasing your peace; Let him lead you to say: Yes, the heavenly ones were born! I am very glad that you fuss and fuss, this electrifies your morality; just pay attention to yourself and do not allow conceit, suspicion, envy, embarrassment to creep into you towards each other and at everyone; and more to see your weaknesses, and consider yourself the last of all. I told you a lot, let there be no first among you, but each consider yourself to be the last; and try to show this not in words, but in deeds and through temptation. I see that the enemy, who hated good, is trying to sow the seed of discord between you from insignificant cases, and you both need to see your pride and tear it out with self-reproach. I wrote to you so that your peace would not be arrogant, but set guards: love and humility. Love does not fall, and humility will not allow it to fall even further, and will strengthen it, but this requires work, not words. You say that by describing your dispensation, you hurt my heart about your lack of correction; Don’t be afraid of this, write, expose yourself, maybe I’ll write something against this that will benefit you. You say that now the enemy has begun to rebel against you more, and it is more difficult for you to endure your sister’s reproofs; this was to be expected for your skill. Where there is self-reproach and humility, there God’s help will preserve you; Even though you fall, you will not be broken, for the Lord will strengthen you (Ps. 36:24). May God grant you the peace that I earnestly wish for you, and I ask for you the peace and blessing of God. I remain the great sinner I. M. August 26, 1848. You want my letter, and even more written, and my stock of mind is meager; but I’ll write as best I can, but I ask you not to exact it. The praise you pour out to me from the excess of your childish feelings brings me to shame, seeing myself as alien to all that you attribute to me; and in truth, if the weight of my sins had not outweighed your praises, then perhaps I would have been deceived by them; otherwise I only see your childish babbling, which comes from feelings of childish love and, excusing your childishness, I thank you for maintaining your zeal, affection and love for me, despite all my shortcomings and vile things. May the Lord strengthen you on this path where He has called you and make you worthy to work for Him with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your thoughts! I never cease to remind you to maintain peace and harmony with your sister; You yourself have experienced how sweet, pleasant and saving it is to be in the world, on the contrary, how difficult and languid it is with indignation and unpeace; this is because where there is peace there is the grace of God, and where there is confusion and unpeacefulness, there is the action of the enemy. Recognize the machinations of the enemy and do not allow him to abuse you; you know the weapons against his wiles, self-reproach, humility and love. But you can’t do without a fight, the enemy hates good; and without temptations the world cannot be solid. What exploits do you remember? And it confuses you that you are not living as you should in the monastery. The Lord wants from us feats that are within our power, serving to teach us in virtues, but with humility. And about your life, if you saw that you were living as you should, correcting everything that was commanded, all this would not yet amount to perfection, and your pride could lead you to deception. It is better, seeing your poverty, to always look down on yourself and cast yourself before God with humility, rather than to see your corrections. Follow the middle, humble path, and do not untimely ascend to a high path that is not of your measure. Your poverty is in vain, don’t look down on anyone, don’t judge, consider yourself the last of all; and when you happen to receive reproach or contempt from someone, consider yourself worthy of it. Precisely, we do not have even a shadow of monasticism, as the ancient fathers lived before; they had great talents, and preserved them with humility; Now we, not seeing examples of high life and talents, reading only about them in the books of our fathers, should not lose heart and consider ourselves lost, but, according to Climacus, like beggars looking at the royal treasures, we should become more aware of our poverty and humble ourselves; but we always have opportunities and means to struggle against passions; We must take care and force ourselves about this, then we will find ourselves in need before the Lord and will receive from Him strength and help in fulfilling His commandments (Matthew 11:12). What can we say about perfection? when St. Macarius of Egypt said about himself that “he is not a monk, but he has seen monks.” So, calm down on this score and do not be embarrassed, and in how to appear before the court of God you should not rely on your own deeds, but on God’s ineffable mercy and His priceless merits; even if we have deeds, they will not save us without the merits of our Savior and without humility; but humility saves even without deeds, with hope in God’s mercy! You describe in detail all your cases, battles, embarrassments and bodily illnesses; to which I will say that all this is arranged by the all-wise Providence of God, who cares about you and arranges your salvation. What would you learn in spiritual life if you did not have war and did not understand the snares, decoys and deceits of the enemy? By acquiring art from this, you will also recognize your weakness; and you see that you require God’s help, self-reproach and humility, from which you learn peace; and in revealing to each other with a unanimous sister in the enemy’s battles, you find benefit; God bless! I see from all your letters that you are languid, bored and gloomy, but after that it passes and there is calm. This is also sent to you by God’s providence to test your love for Him; At that time, thank God, look at His suffering and how His most holy soul was sorrowful to the point of death, when He prayed in the garden before the betrayal. Can our languor compare even in the slightest shadow with His spiritual sorrow? The sins of the whole world weighed heavily on Him! But we only suffer for our own, and even then we suffer. We cannot boast of deeds, but although we will bear these sorrows with thanksgiving and humility, they will be imputed instead of deeds, according to His goodness. And your physical illness is not easy, but the merciful Father knows why he sent this message to complete the shortcomings of our deeds, and from His love he visits us with them. If there were no illness, there could have been carnal warfare, and unbearable. Praise and thank God! You are confident in my love for you and compassion for you, and God loves you incomparably more, you are His creation and redeemed by the priceless blood of His beloved Son; He could deliver you and make sure that you would not be sick or grieve and would be at peace in everything, but what would come of it? look at it yourself; and through illnesses and sorrows you receive healing from passions, you acquire patience and humility, and trust in salvation. I ask you, for God’s sake, do not be cowardly. I am very glad that spiritual books nourish and delight your mental larynx, and you will gain a taste for them; and especially the kindness of the eloquent St. Gregory the Theologian, as his troparion says: “I have sought the depth of the spirit and the kindness of the broadcasts has been applied to you.” Read, may God bless you! I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. THEM. December 4, 1848. From your detailed letters, as much as I can, I see your structure: there are battles, but there are also rests with calmness and consolation, but it cannot be otherwise! this is the real path of our learning, like St. fathers teach us; So, do not be disturbed by the invasion of darkness, and do not be exalted in the enlightenment of grace and tranquility. But remember the words of St. David: I have died in my abundance: I am motionless. You turned away Your face, and I was further confused (Ps. 29:7, 8) This is what happens to us in our training until we come to humility. You wish your affairs to end quickly so that you can do good; You know that alms does not consist in giving alone, but in the dissolution of a merciful heart, burning with love for everyone and for all creation, and helping in any way it can, in word, deed, advice, etc., and in us, monks, alms especially consists in forgiving insults and insults to neighbors, which relates more to spiritual alms. Here you have an opportunity, as you describe, for your spiritual wisdom, for knowing yourself and for trusting in God; Here comes alms! on the one hand, God sent a test, and then comforted him; do not shy away from reproaches and reprimands, but rather beware of accepting praise. We help brother from brother, like strong hail (Proverbs 18:19). I approve of the advice you gave to your sister during her confusion, and you, in turn, accept it from her, not trusting yourself; in confusion a person cannot have right reasoning; however, do not be carried away by the opinion about yourself that I understand her better; Even though you say that you are not carried away by this, I still find it necessary to remind both of you. Reading further your letter, I see that you are carried away by your opinion about yourself: this is how weak our structure is, and how careful we must be in examining ourselves! Humility alone avoids all the snares and snares of the enemy. It was a wonderful lesson for you to be patient; what to do is necessary; cases do not happen without God’s providence; remember the words of St. Mark: “Do not be curious as to how, or when, or through whom, temptations are found; the propriety of each and their urgent diligence, and all creation is aware of the cooperation of the one God.” (East Classes p. 132). While going through your letter again, I noticed in it your cowardice about your illnesses; You write that the Lord does not visit you with illnesses out of love, but punishes you for sins, and if you knew that it was out of love, you would better endure it. How is it possible that God does not visit you out of love? What if the punishment itself comes from the love of God? read in the Epistle to the Hebrews in the 12th chapter: for the Lord loves him and punishes him, and beats every son, and accepts him. (v. 6). Your thought is a product of pride, not humility. – All nuns should be given respect, according to their image; and you will not sin in that, where you see human weakness, and by condescending to it, you will give honor not out of man-pleasing or fear, but so as not to lead into embarrassment and sin. Both in this and in other things, may the Lord instruct you! Run to Him with humility. For the future mercy of God towards us sinners in eternal life, we must pray to His goodness and, according to the power of our deeds, attract it through repentance and humility; There is only one Author of our bliss, Jesus Christ, without Him all is darkness and gloom. During your service, your passion for thoughts is a denunciation of your weakness and deviation into arrogance, and perhaps into condemnation of your neighbors. Do not seek consolation from praise; it will come on its own, as the heart is purified and humbled, but it does not come with observance (Luke 17:20). - See your weaknesses and sins, which will involuntarily humble you. Thank God that I noticed my opinion about the sublimity of feelings above my sister and recognized my pride: that’s how subtly it creeps up, that you won’t even see how you get carried away; and it is our passions and falls that expose us that there is something rotten behind us. “I am very glad that you have found in Mother Abbess strength in your weaknesses and strength in sorrows.” For everything, give thanks to the Lord! He is rich in mercy. I wish I. Makariy to be healthy and calm. December 14, 1848. Are you asking how you should behave in relation to people? your thought tells you correctly: turn in simplicity of heart. And when someone uses your words for evil, then it is obvious that it pleases God to punish you with this, for some kind of guilt that preceded you. However, what seems to you to be said out of simplicity of heart, and at the same time from skill to unnecessary chatter; and others, due to their structure, can take your words in a bad way, and therefore sometimes you need to be careful in your words, knowing a person what he can suffer, you need to have such an attitude. Not all to the same extent. Be wise like a serpent, and your goals like doves (Matthew 10:10). May temptation be your teacher. You write: it bothers you that people follow you and aggravate your illness; This is a temptation of the enemy: they walk with love and will have compassion for you, for which, of course, they will not lose a reward from God; if you suffer and serve, they will accept the only reward from God! - That you are visited by inner languor, do not be discouraged, but humble yourself and it will be for your salvation; I myself sometimes experience this burden. It bothers you that sometimes you feel zeal for your sister without any guilt; this is nothing more than the enemy’s excuses, allowed to tempt your will; when defeated by it, there is no need to be embarrassed, but to overthrow it through self-reproach and recognize your weakness; By embarrassment you only give the enemy a reason for a greater attack. - Humility is required! Again, you are seditious about the languor of the spirit and are afraid, are you working for the enemy, and not carrying a cross? - Do we know the abyss of God’s destinies, why does He allow you to be tempted by the languor of the spirit? and yet you don’t want to admit that you are bearing the cross for your sins, but to think that it is for Jesus’ sake; but this is a matter of pride, and pride is a sin. If you were humble, you would have consolations and you would bear this burden humbly. What a time it was for our Savior when in the garden he exclaimed: My soul is sorrowful unto death (Matthew 26:38). For the sins of the whole World, He bore this burden, and who can depict or imagine it? what does our mean? and for our sins to cleanse them; and the enemy burdens her with doubt even more. Leave this and surrender yourself to the will of God; do not seek: how, when and through whom are temptations found? All this is the will of God, how and for what? Perhaps the Lord is protecting you from the grave and cruel temptations of this burden, and He is able to give you consolation. Do you think why others at your age are not so tempted? Yes, it’s none of your business; and can we know who has what temptation? There are those who are incomparably more tempted; another with carnal passion, another struggling with poverty, another tormented by a violent part - but is each of them easy? Let's leave this to the will of God, He knows what everyone needs! You were confused after reading the 60th chapter of Isaac the Syrian; Well, where can you compare with such people, and attribute such temptations to yourself? You see more that through temptations you can get closer to God; and where there is confusion, then know that this is a network of the enemy that takes away hope; It’s better not to leave the little behind than to take on the great. – You describe your embarrassment to your sister; you ask how to resist the thought of self-justification? There are many fatherly teachings on this: St. Abba Dorotheus “about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor.” Mark of the ascetic chapters 90 and 209, Simeon the New Theologian ch. 31, St. Zosima. Many people said only a little, but experience itself teaches you: where you feel embarrassment during self-justification, then it is already your fault; When suffering, consider yourself the last one, you will get rid of great embarrassment. Do not be embarrassed because you cannot stand in church without being distracted, and because sleep is struggling with you; this will all pass when you humble yourself and do not lose heart; and all this so that you do not become proud when going to church, and do not judge others; Have the publican’s feeling that you are a sinner and that you are oppressed, but you are still far from purity of prayer. – Be healthy and peaceful, which I fervently wish for you, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. December 21, 1848. I thank you for your labors - lists of humility; Oh, when should we, learning about humility, at least imitate it a little; and seeing our own thinness, to acquire this treasure, it would calm us down in everything, but without it, and having everything, a person cannot be peaceful and calm. Let us seek this treasure and learn it from our most humble and meek-hearted Lord Jesus Christ, who commanded us this (Matthew 11:29). And now the Holy Church remembers to us an example of His humility in His Nativity from the Most Pure and Immaculate Virgin Mary, Theotokos. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords took our flesh in a wretched den and lay down in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes, among dumb animals; have heaven as a throne and earth as a footstool, entwining the sky with clouds, surrounded and endlessly praised by cherubim and seraphim and many angels! How much humility and love has the Wise Lord shown us? and even if we had little sense of this great sacrament, would we not humble ourselves and love our Savior, ready to fulfill His holy commandments? Are you confused about your illness, with what will you appear in the next century? One must be concerned about this, but not embarrassed, but more humbly, as St. Theognostus “found during the exodus in the abyss of humility, nothing more dispassionate than the clouds ascending.” It seems that this word should be quite comforting for you, and besides, your very illnesses are signs of God’s love for you; they not only cleanse the filth of sin, but instead of works they are imputed; and so, placing your trust in the 6womb of God, be trustworthy in His mercy towards you. And death is nothing more than the removal of the frailty and debility of the flesh, which burdens the soul, and the transition to another, spiritual world. St. Gregory the Theologian writes rather comfortingly on the death of Kecapia and Gorgonia. Be calm about the hour of death, do not indulge in confusion and despondency; but humble yourself and calm down. In this your thought deceives you, that the enemy shows you illness in exaggeration, that you cannot take care of external records; when the body is weak, there is no time for external activities; it is enough to endure illness; but in the spiritual we must judge differently. – You write that you recognize your weakness and wretchedness, but only in language, and not in deed; wait, the time will come and you will get down to business, you cannot acquire this wealth in a short time; and over time, helping the Lord with your will and effort, you will receive, as St. writes. Simeon the New Theologian in the 1st word. That you are trying to suppress any thought in yourself without taking action, so as not to fulfill your will, and although vanity is not visible, a subtle thought remains in you about your rightness; and then later the passion of falling in the desire to fulfill one’s will is allowed. - You must have a feat, but in the understanding that I am not worthy to be fulfilled in my opinion, and consider myself unreasonable, so as not to fall into delusion, as St. Vasily on page 178 of Elder Paisius in the preface. You felt joy in your soul and body, and you think that if it were always like this, you would sin less and would not be a burden to yourself and others: in this you are mistaken. If we were always in such a mood, we would not be able to appreciate it, and would not receive any spiritual benefit. Who went through his life without mental and physical sorrows? The Holy King and Prophet David says: Because of the multitude of my illnesses, Your consolations have made my soul glad (Ps. 93:19). You will find a lot in the teachings of the fathers that sorrows and consolations alternately visit us, according to our constitution, and at the discretion of God’s providence, which takes care of our salvation; read the 9th word of Peter Damascene, in the 2nd book, that sorrows are needed; There are many in other places, but I don’t remember; in Isaac the Syrian, in 31 words, how the old man did not find peace for 25 years, and after that he already received peace. In the same way, we must look at our dispensation, and in our spiritual sorrows, not consider ourselves forgotten by God, but even more so see in this His love for us. Your sorrowful situation, internal and external, described by you, while escorting the icon of the Kazan Mother of God, I sensitively accept and sympathize with you; You are asking to give you not relief from these burdens, but patience to bear them; thank God that He gave you a right mind. Read from St. Isaac in 79 ff. towards the end, that you can find medicine and consolation for your sorrows in humility of heart; You have been faint-hearted a lot: the Queen of Heaven is always with you, and never leaves you with Her intercession and intercession to the Lord. Be healthy mentally and physically. I wish you many things. THEM. December 28, 1848. You ask: how to help the sick and needy, by yourself or through people, fearing vanity? Yes, it’s such a three-walled ball: no matter where you turn it, it all stands upside down; one must arm oneself against it with humility, attributing the help provided not to oneself, but to God; everything is not ours, but God’s; and even what we want and what we do (Phil. 2:13) is not ours. You can help yourself, or through others, as you find most convenient. Having read about humility, you realized that you do not have it, and in its place, pride possesses you; Do you want to learn how to find it? You will be taught this very often; learn to humble yourself in the face of reproaches; but this heavenly virtue is not acquired without difficulty, but over a long period of time. Without achieving this, you must humble yourself and see your poverty, over time you will come to terms with it, read more often about humility and remember that it is a type of temptation. You noticed behind you the upliftment for correcting the rule, (which) is better than a sister, and God accepts the prayer of the humble (Ps. 112:6). This can also be attributed to when he asks you, due to your weakness, to leave a rule, or something else: then there is a great desire in you to fulfill the rule or another. This also comes from the enemy; It’s better for me to ruin a matter with my brother’s advice than to do it well without advice, and you even with resistance; Judge, is this pleasing to God? there you cut off your will, but here you fulfill your desire and are carried away by zeal. Are you asking for guidance on what to do? You yourself understand that it is better to cut off your will; You will be more peaceful and calm and it will be more useful for you, you will come to the skill of cutting off your desires; Otherwise, you will get used to having everything your way, will there be any benefit? I wrote to you a lot about this and I wish that you would not be a slave to passions, but would dominate them, and even more so over pride, for this is its action. I will reprove you of your foolishness: you, reading St. Isaac's word 79 about the temptation of the proud, she was confused, “so I am the enemy of God when I am tempted by diseases”? How many were tempted by disease? St. Job, Tobias by blindness, Pimen the Many-Sick, Theodosius the Great and others; were they really enemies of God? but God lovingly visits and punishes many; we cannot say that we do not have pride; we are exposed by every fall that pride precedes it; and St. David says: first let us not even humble ourselves, since we have sinned (Ps. 119:67). And of course, the proud cannot be called friends of God, but all of them are not rejected, but are called through various means, and through repentance they are pacified. Our whole struggle consists in putting aside pride and obtaining humility, which never falls. Isn’t this also your cowardice, that you didn’t want to see yourself as a sinner, i.e. proud, but wanted to be a friend of God? and when she had been convinced of this, she would have ascended even further. I say better: It is good for me, for Thou hast humbled me, that I may learn by Thy justification (Ps. 119:71). Above, you yourself admit that your soul involuntarily humbled itself and humiliated itself, seeing itself so far removed from everything that brings us closer and unites us with the Lord. But if you saw that you were close to this, could you truly humble yourself? You would dream high of yourself. And the Saints, no matter how holy they were, had themselves under all creation. Achieve this in order to see yourself worse than everyone else, and then God Himself will save you; do not rely on your own virtues. “I don’t reject your innocent relations with your neighbors, but I advise you to have some reasoning on how to maintain peace in your cell.” - The sheep consoled you; Be a meek, humble sheep and believe that the Good Shepherd, who took the lost sheep into the fold, will seek you; what do I mean? Thank God that you found peace in the rejection of your will; This should be a lesson for you in the future. You write about the sorrowful and difficult path of monastic life; and the Lord called it a good yoke and a light burden. If you feel labor and burden, then this actually comes from our passions; so thank God that He has made you worthy to take His good yoke and light burden (Matthew 11:30). Look at the worldly, what is their yoke? not good; and the burden is not light. – Reading the word 1 St. Sim. you saw your thinness, and sometimes the thought comes that you are something; This is why we should read, so that, seeing what we should be - and what we are not, we should humble ourselves like beggars, as St. Climacus; and humility receives God's help and peace. You ask me to reprove and teach you; and I have long wanted to expose you; Yes, everything didn’t have to be, but now by the way: the dream you saw about my death influenced you and you say, if I die, you won’t bear it. So I reprove you: what fruit has my instruction and teaching brought you? without seeing anything yet, and you are already speaking verbs of madness. Either I taught you wrong, or you didn’t pay attention to it. Our salvation consists in faith and in trust in the mercy of God, tradition in His St. the will of ourselves and all of us; and what are you writing and saying? you leave God and grab hold of a man, and a sinner at that; you love creation, more than the Creator. “Isn’t God strong enough to save you, guide you and strengthen you, and besides me?” and what do I mean? If I say anything, then, according to your faith, God Himself acts; He also admonishes and strengthens. When you consider yourself to be submitting to my teachings, then submit to this even more, leave these words of madness, and repent of them before God. - If it is predetermined by God when I will pass from here to the next century, then how dare we resist it and go against the will of God? Of course we make mistakes. Forsake your delusion and believe in God; in our death and life He has power. You mentioned your material life, and as if it was impossible to gain anything from it; but I think on the contrary, your material life is the same as your active life; In every communication with each other, you must fulfill the commandments of God; Crimes of this kind often happen; here you need to recognize your weakness, humble yourself and repent. When you little by little cleanse the mud and filth of passions with the commandments, then you will enter into spirituality; but before that it is dangerous to enter; just like someone who went up in dirty robes to a royal wedding and was kicked out (Matthew 22:11, 12) - “I don’t feel the things of God that come of themselves; but even if the place is clean and not nasty” (Isaac the Syrian word 2). Perhaps you will say that you are not stretching into the distance towards a vision, but towards a conversation about spirituality; and it is nearby. However, I am not preventing you, but have only shown that material life is active, and not useless; – as Elder Vasily writes: “to purify oneself with the same commandments”; but it doesn’t interfere, and even should, every day, test yourself alone and with your sister, how you spent the day, according to the 121st chapter of St. Simeon the Theologian. January 14, 1849. It's your birthday! Congratulations on this day. Lord grant that you may be healthy both mentally and physically, and be worthy of the mercy of God, by visiting His grace, which I saw from your letter. But it is impossible to always enjoy it, but from time to time and according to the measure of our dispensation, the most merciful Lord grants it to the humble and those who love Him; and even more so according to the word of St. Psalmist: Because of the multitude of my illnesses in my heart, Your consolations have made my soul glad (Ps. 93:19). Note the word: according to the multitude of my illnesses; Apparently the Saint was also tested by them; and illnesses are not only physical, but more spiritual - in my heart. And consider that we, who follow the path of salvation, cannot be free from this, and to whom to send what kind of temptation and sorrow, this is in the will of our heavenly Father. He will test our strength, and I will require it. Yes, and His love is greater in visiting sorrows; - in a visit with consolation, we cannot humble ourselves as much as in a sorrowful and languid situation. In the interpretation of the story about Jacob the Patriarch and his two wives Leah and Rachel, depicting a spiritual man: sorrow in Leah, not red, and consolation in Rachel, bright; Leah is not red, but fertile; Rachel is beautiful, but childless; so it is in spiritual life: those who go through a sorrowful life bear more fruit than those who live without sorrow, and even more so enjoy consolations. So you, too, in languor, convince yourself that it is the will of our heavenly Father to test you with this spiritual cross, and thank His goodness in caring for you. How can we replace and make up for the paucity of our exploits and labors, which we must perform voluntarily and with selflessness? For the poverty of these and looking at your weakness, do not be discouraged and do not be faint-hearted, but thank God for everything that He called you to Himself and gave you the opportunity to live in a cell, and a sister and a servant. Apparently the Lord protects you in everything; so that the path is not long, it also sends trials, and for that thank the Lord! It was comforting to me to see in your letter how you thank God for placing you in the monastery; assure the world that you are satisfied with this life! taste and see that the Lord is good (Ps. 33:9). You need to taste and see this life, a different understanding, a different feeling will open; but they only see in this life everything bad, dull, stupid, fanaticism; and if they reproach you and revile you, then there is no harm from this to you, be calm. But not everyone who lives in the world has this opinion, but only those who are led by the spirit of the world and are worldly wise. Although we stand on the right path and understand in part, we must humble ourselves for the poverty of our deeds, and trust only in God’s mercy for our salvation. And He is strong to save them, bringing them to true reason. – Let us not be faint-hearted about this, but let us not be faint-hearted, but, in the words of Elder Vasily in the preface to Nil Sorsky, “let us finish with humility,” etc. You say it’s often hard for you; Is it really easier for those living in the world? You yourself have partly experienced it; and who arranges this? God, who wants us to be saved and to come into the mind of truth. The words of Stavrophilia came to your heart: - read also from St. Isaac in the 35th word in the 2nd section: “For it is impossible, if we always walk the path of righteousness, do not let us mourn, and do not let your body suffer from sickness and disease,” etc. - and from this receive strength for your patience. - Peace be with you! Why do I remain the zealous desirer of the great sinner I. Macarius. January 29, 1849. I wrote to you about your severity a long time ago, now I won’t repeat it; or maybe during this time it wasn’t there, or it was easier. I just confirm again - do not be discouraged, but endure valiantly, calling on the Lord and His Most Pure Mother for help. After the consolation that was given to you, rebellion followed; You still cannot keep the first one in humility, and therefore fire is needed, so that vain boastfulness will be consumed and the ashes of humility will remain; During the guidance, assume that it will pass, and strengthen yourself with hope. Do not think about yourself that your gloom occurs due to disgust (of God from you), for there are glimpses of consolation, I wrote to you about this. And the thoughts that cause you confusion are as if they were from the enemy. Read the Philokalia and for the active part strive to fulfill the commandments of God, the height and purity of which involuntarily force us to humble our wisdom, and even more so when we see warring passions in ourselves; and when reading leads you to self-reproach and humility, it will bring good fruit, but when we just read in order to know and sharpen the mind with knowledge, then instead of benefit there may be harm. – Where does the thought that confuses you come from, consider? Of course you will find a lesson in pride, not humility; when can she calm down? resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7). The mere excuse of a thought does not harm, and neither does struggle, but agreement with it is harmful. – You doubt that custom prayer is not accessible to God due to the negligence of the priest; not at all, God accepts the sacrifice of the one who brings a contrite and humble heart; God will not despise (Ps. 50:19), and the Lord regards the prayers of the humble, and will not despise their prayers (Ps. 101:18); and the priest is the finisher and mediator, for his negligence he himself will give an answer. Otherwise, how would the sacrament of the Eucharist, repentance and others, which are much more and more important than the offering of prayer, be performed? You write that you force yourself to cut off your will and so on, to please me and not to upset me. Ah, this is a weak string! what do I mean? Yes, and I’m afraid that this will lead to my condemnation; I invite you to fulfill the will of God for His pleasure and the removal of your passions, and therefore for salvation. What do I mean here? only a small instrument, but God Himself acts, admonishing and enlightening my darkened mind, and giving strength to expound this in writing; then you must do everything so as not to anger God, first out of fear, through the fear of God everyone turns away from evil (Prov. 15:27) - and then, through the hope of reward, you will reach love. And when you are forced to do good just for my sake, then this cannot be approved, this is your infantile wisdom. May the Lord give you true reason. I wrote that it is dangerous for you to enter spirituality ahead of time, i.e. talk about high things of spiritual speculation, etc., but we must see our sins and try to overcome and eradicate passions, this is the purpose of our intention: for after cleansing from passions, a spiritual feeling about yourself will open, and the love of God is expressed in fulfilling God’s commandments, “he who loves Me keeps My commandments” (John 14:21) - about this you should have an interview and, as it were, come to terms, and without it everything is gloomy and dark. - For God’s sake, I pray you, humble yourself in everything, and have peace among yourself, then the grace of God will cover you from everything that opposes you. Be healthy and prosperous - that is what I wish for you, great Hieromonk Macarius. January 30, 1849. Because you are distracted by thoughts with embarrassment - that you cut off your will in everything - and you were allowed to be in great embarrassment with your sister; in describing this incident, you kept looking for excuses in yourself and exalting your feelings. This alone would be enough to keep you in the enemy’s snares; but since you both came to self-awareness and, having reconciled, calmed down, I find it unnecessary to give you a moral lesson; This itself is a lesson and teacher for you, that during times of confusion and self-justification, everything appears differently, but after self-reproach and reconciliation, things are seen more clearly, as St. Kasian: “no matter what sheets of gold or tin you put on your eyes, the visual power is lost, so in spiritual work, whether blessed or unblessed, we become angry or embarrassed, the visual power of the soul is dulled”; and in the 90th chapter of Mark the ascetic: “then a person is in an unnatural position” (that is, when he is angry). God, the most merciful, sends you a physical illness, even more providing for the salvation of your soul; and perhaps you could fall under grave and strong temptations, heavier than the disease itself. The illness also includes heaviness and spiritual darkness: but be patient for the Lord’s sake! I believe that this sorrowful path of yours and the cross will lead you to eternal bliss. We are unworthy of the passions of the present time for the desiring glory that will appear in us. Writes St. Apostle (Rom.8:18). Thoughts, did your kind and compassionate Mother Superior have any joy in her life, having been nailed to the cross? You yourself heard from her how much melancholy she felt in the dying time of her life, and after her death many, if not all, were convinced of her eternal bliss. – And you restrain yourself from grumbling during such visits; There are also joyful moments that serve as the hope of future bliss and consolation: but let us not ascend, and again, for the sake of humility, we are allowed to suffer. May your will, Lord, be upon us! – Do not imagine death in a terrible form, but believe that it serves only as a transfer from time to eternity; and the Lord has appointed the time in His power. Although I myself am alien to humility, I suggest it to you, I wish for your peace of mind: “the settlement and peace of the Holy Spirit is humility,” writes St. Macarius. You repeatedly repeated in this letter the thought that came to you that through your sister’s tonsure your peace could be disrupted: she will be better respected, treated differently, etc. You yourself will know that these thoughts of the enemy, without seeing anything, disturb your peace; and from what do they receive power over you? you understand that from pride. How did the Lord help you repel your strong zeal for your sister? Self-reproach and revelation, and what is the mystery of this action? - in one minute, silence emerges from the storm. And in this case, when you remember my advice, although spoken with a sinful tongue, but with a zealous heart, spoken to you and written by hand: both together and each separately should be last before your sister; when you direct your thoughts to this advice of mine, then be sure, even if it were to rise above you, and everyone would prefer it to you: you would be calm and firm, like Mount Zion (Ps. 125:1). What's bothering you? It is clear that the passion is pride, and envy is born from it. – Look at yourself more closely and you will see like this. You will say that passions are fighting you: the struggle is either guilt or punishment or a crown; Having been sufficiently enlightened both from the writings of our fathers and from advice, there is no need to dwell on theory, but go through practice, and not acquire only naked and invalid reason. Reason boasts and creates love (1 Cor. 8:1), but love without humility cannot be firm: look at yourself and you will see. Remember St. The Apostle, what properties of love he expresses: he is long-suffering of love, merciful, does not envy love, does not become proud of love, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek his own, is not irritated, does not think evil... he loves everything, he has faith in everything, he trusts everything, he endures everything. Love no longer disappears (1 Cor. 13:4, 5, 7, 8). Looking at these properties of love, and during the action or struggle of passions, recognize your weakness and humble yourself. I'll start talking to you again. The Lord teaches us: blessed are the poor in spirit, for to them is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:3, 5). Let us see within ourselves how far we are still from humility and spiritual poverty and meekness, when passions have free entry into our hearts? However, do not be sad that they do not diminish, but still lie in your dispensation: be sure that with God’s help, your diligence and will, they will diminish as time flows; only when they rise up against you, flow to the stronghold of humility and meekness, which, like a stone from the waves, will not be crushed in honor or dishonor, and in praise and reproach alike; Having not yet achieved this, reproach yourself, finding guilt, and the passion will weaken. You see an example in yourself: when you cut off your desires, you are much more peaceful than when they were fulfilled, and from this you become accustomed. Likewise, in other passions, you need to force yourself to make a small feat, and you will see God’s help and calm down. Using the teachings of St. Simeon the New Theologian, you ask: how to achieve a humble silence in the mind? St. Simeon in the first word indicates that through self-reproach and considering oneself worse than everyone else, one achieves this, and St. Gregory of Sinai in chapter 117. says that through falls we come to humility and in ch. 115. shows how to reproach himself. But they acted in deeds, not just in words, and what kind of slander did they suffer from enemies, both visible and invisible? You ask us to consider whether some secret passion has sunk into you, like a worm, eating away at your heart? In my letters I wrote to you quite, showing your passions; There is no need to repeat it, but I’ll just say it in the words of St. Isaac: “healing them all is humility of heart.” How do you want to acquire this priceless gift so quickly? Strive to see yourself as the worst of all, having the guilt of your own passions and falls and failures, then you will come to a good dispensation; but not immediately you can be humble. Read the extracts about humility, and St. Gregory of Sinaiti chapters 115 and 117. And the words of St. You literally accepted Simeon the New Theologian (sl. 7 p. 151). With these words: “not only the ear and the hand, but also the tongue,” he expressed great faith and mental zeal; and if anyone had done such a thing, he would have ended up in civil court and punishment not only now, but also at that time. It’s another matter to agree with them, as he writes in another place: “Do not sit with those who slander your father”; and it is contrary to the law of love and humility. And St. The Lord objected to Peter and did not approve of his action (Matthew 26:52). When walking the path of the cross, do not rush and do not choose, but accept the one that the Lord sends you. He is love, and loving you, He leads you through your cross. Be reassured by God's help. I wish you peace, health and salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. February 22, 1849. Thank God that the shock you had with your sister was soon destroyed by an explanation; I told you that there will be cases in which the enemy will try to disrupt your peace, but without this it cannot be firm; and here each one, having received her turn, having received an ulcer, will humble herself and recognize her weakness and the power of humility, strengthened by God. A shipbuilder is not considered skillful when he sails in calm weather, but when he bravely endures rough seas and skillfully steers the ship; from this he learns art, and not from silence; This is what happens in our teaching. Describe the beginning of Lent, how you greeted it, and what comfort you felt during the touching canon. The Lord sends this to you as a consolation for your mental and physical illnesses, which, apparently, we need for our purification and humility; and between them, like coolness, comfort is sent; but not according to our merits, do not get carried away by the thought that you are worthy of it, but look back at your victory from passions. By remaining in humility, you will get rid of delusion. I see that you understand, as much as possible, the reason of the fatherly writings, although not yet completely; but it is very dangerous to be based on one understanding without doing anything about it; it will turn out to be a naked mind and inactive, and according to the word of the Holy Spirit. Mark, “there is a rod of reeds that can pierce a hand”; I give this in examples, even on myself: having understood everything before time, and not doing it, rotten fruits come into being. I confirm this to both of you, not to rely on reason alone, but according to it, arm yourself with passion and resist them. And most importantly, you won’t even see how pride and ambition creep into your heart, they will destroy all the works and fruits of virtues; which you have learned for yourself in this short time. When you try to acquire humility through self-reproach and destruction of your self, the Lord will help you to overthrow these passions. Remember how great the power of humility is, that even without deeds it forgives all sins, and deeds without it are useless. It is our very weaknesses and inclinations that should bring us down into the depths of humility. You write that when there is a burden, it does not depend on yourself; how not from yourself? who is the cause? our passions that lie within us and are not defeated, pride, pride, vanity, and others; They rebel against us, and we, carried away by them, are righteously punished by God to destroy our passions. Remember the word of St. Apostle: God tempted us with evil; everyone is tempted from his own lust by attraction and deception (James 1:14). So don’t say that it’s not from yourself, but blame yourself for everything, so that you will gain humility and calm down. If we were humble, we would always be calm, otherwise this is not the case; and we are also in arrogance, for this reason other passions rise up against us more strongly. St. Isaac the Syrian explains in the 40th word that “waves rise and there is an intercession of grace.” Afterwards you yourself realize that, due to your proud disposition, you are unworthy of constant silence. Do not be embarrassed and do not despair, God will give you true reason through temptation and humility. The Lenten service consoles you. It is the Lord who consoles you for your many illnesses and sorrows; thank Him, and if you could always retain the feeling of your poverty and humility, then this consolation would never leave you; but since our nature is receptive to arrogance, this consolation is taken away, which was allowed to the perfect ones for their greater humility. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, many people. THEM. February 24, 1849. You describe your illness in detail and, with dissolved faith, surrender to the will and providence of God. Looking at His cross, strengthen yourself in patience. Thanks be to the Lord that in your suffering He gives you, like a baby, the suckling of His grace, feeding you who are weary of it. – When you approached the Most Pure Mysteries of Christ, you felt great consolation, then I expected that there should be some kind of sorrowful visit, so that the fire of suffering would burn up the thorns of arrogance that could follow the consolation; This happens even in small things: “When you pray as you should, wait as you should not,” writes St. Nile; those. after spiritual consolations there are either illnesses, or sorrows, or other types of confusion. Do not doubt, you will not lose God’s mercy, go with a right heart, and although not in the monastery with your body, but there with your will; You don’t hear the splendid service, but God is able to give you consolation, which you have learned from experience, one word: “Untouchable by a being, touches me” produced spiritual joy in your heart. This is not our strength and effort, but a matter of God’s mercy. I do not tell you that you are worthy because of your deeds, which you cannot recognize; because of the multitude of your illnesses the Lord makes your soul glad (Ps. 93:19). Remember: not deeds, but illnesses, and endure them complacently. The Lord also consoles those who, by keeping the commandments, cleanse themselves of passions and at the same time have spiritual poverty, but we are still far from this. You write that you are carried away by praise and self-praise, and you ask how to resist this? It seems best to resist with humility, not to attribute anything to yourself, but to God, for He said: without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5). What's yours? You are all God's creation; and the gift that you have is His; and ours is only sinfulness, which should humble us. What are you saying, how can I begin the sacrament of tonsure with my passions? But do they accept it without passion? is there any pride here? you see many standing in this battle, both falling and rising; Apparently, you are the only one who wants to be non-falling. Humble yourself completely, and victory will always be on your side! what I earnestly wish for you. Many sinners I. Macarius. March 22, 1849. I take part in your illness and regret you from the bottom of my heart; Do not reject the easy remedies offered to you, even if they give you relief for a short time, which I wrote to you about before. We should not be body killers, but passion killers. In the compassion you desire, are you afraid that the power of the cross might be diminished? Isn’t it better to pay attention to your weakness and humble yourself? Maybe this will defeat your secret opinion and great praise about bearing the cross. We are very far from perfection, and we must pay more attention to our weaknesses and humble ourselves, so that the power of Christ may dwell in us (2 Cor. 12:9). While we are in the struggle of passions, perfect peace has not yet arrived, as you write about your former zeal for your sister. Thank God that you have the means to overthrow it; Only, with the help of God, you need to force yourself and after peace! I am pleased to read that you accepted the joyful news from your native monastery, and that Mother Superior and sisters treat you with love. Do you remember before how you were afraid “oh, that I will be alone among 300 sisters”? Even now, such thoughts often confuse you, but don’t believe them, it’s all from the enemy, who wants to confuse you and deprive you of peace. God is our hope! You describe the feeling of your grief that you are not in the monastery on such a great holiday and are deprived of such a majestic service, and you remember the consolation of this day last year. It’s all good that the Lord gave you a feeling of love for your monastery, I appreciate it and you appreciate and thank God. However, let's see if there is any self-interest and self-love here? We seek and desire sweet spiritual pleasure, I don’t argue, it is pleasant, but lower than the cross, it was given to us by the cross, and without the cross it cannot last. It comes and leaves us as we walk the path of the cross and humility. You are now deprived of service, and perhaps even spiritual consolation; but love is higher than all this, according to St. The Apostle, above virtues and works, even the most talents, do not have love, without which they are: a ringing brass and a clanging cymbal (1 Cor. 13:1). Out of love for your sister and for the consolation of a grieving mother - also love - you left the monastery at this time; You will also receive reward, but do not grieve and do not become arrogant! Reading the book of St. Gregory of Sinaite, you see your measure, that you are far from true prayer and involuntarily humble yourself, and whenever you read, you would think something great about yourself, and even more so when you visit God’s mercy with consolation. The teaching of the saints opens our eyes to how far we are from complete perfection. Our merciful God has much mercy. He visited you there too and comforted you like a baby with the suckling of His grace, feeding you on the day of the feast of His Entry into Jerusalem. God bless! but do not seek this, but surrender yourself to His will; the kingdom of God does not come with observance. The word frightened you: “You will be tortured on the day of judgment” (the rank of tonsure. monk.), And for the vows given in baptism, will we really not be tortured on the day of judgment? If there was no repentance and hope for God’s mercy, then of course one would have to lose heart; and since we are in the struggle of passions, we fall and rise, and come to humility, then we hope for the mercy of God, and not for our works. “From deeds, words and thoughts, there is only one righteous,” writes St. Marco; and from faith, repentance and humility - many righteous women.” You were embarrassed that you didn’t listen to a few Gospels; why the embarrassment? and why insubordination? as if you would gain perfection if you listened? perfection in humility! - Sorry! – Reading books you’ve already read, you find everything new in them; This is the Word of God - it is the food of the soul: do not exhaust it with hunger, but read it with humility. You very quickly want to fly to heaven: “when you accept the image of tonsure, you will no longer be able to laugh too much, or even say a word, it is a grave sin.” So! but will you then avoid a high opinion of yourself and others for these sins of judgment? and they are much more important than all these external attempts: with these we humble ourselves, and with these we are arrogant, and where are we brought down? Perhaps this is why we allow ourselves to fall, let us reconcile ourselves. Now who gave you the right to idle or laugh? When the Lord says: woe to you who laugh now (Luke 6:36) and about one idle word men give an answer to God on the day of judgment (Matthew 12:25): not to the monks, but to everyone. Now it’s as if you’re free from the answer, but then you’ll only be bound: not at all; remember, this image is an image of humility; where this is, there, even with all your weaknesses, you will find peace; and after performing all the good deeds and feats of monasticism, who was even considered a saint, he was ordered to tear out his soul with a trident; for what? for the ascension. Arm yourself against this, resist this; pluck up the root, the branches themselves will fall away; but our weakness involuntarily humbles us. In George Sinaite, chapter 17. Peace be with you! Many sinners I. Macarius. April 9. 1849 You, describing your confusion and the intense anguish that comes from it, ask: why did it take you a lot of work to pacify yourself? Such is the friendship of passions! and that she did not quickly calm down, because she did not quickly resign herself, and all her thoughts were weaving with reproach towards her neighbor, that’s why she did not soon receive help, because she did not humble herself. Still, it is for your benefit; you will learn by experience how to fight passions and incline your heart to humility and self-reproach. The enemy envies your consent, from which spiritual benefit flows, and tries to shake you with your own passions, putting contrary thoughts on each other; but stay awake, stand still; and even if you receive a thousand plagues from the enemy, do not retreat from your deed. Our most merciful Hero of God looks at us and does not allow us to fall completely, but gives His help to those who seek it and humble themselves. And when they received freedom without difficulty, they could become proud and attribute the victory to themselves. I noticed from your letters that at times you have consoling feelings and tears of joy; but, remembering the comforting feelings and tears that were before you to a greater extent, it is as if you are stung by this sorrow. But this comes from your cowardice and lack of humility. You thought you were achieving greatness; and in deprivation of it we cannot maintain equality, according to the word of St. Peter of Damascus, as he writes after seven physical works: “do not be embarrassed and do not be insolent,” and so on. (In Dobrot. Part 3). And then I must remember that through the multitude of my illnesses, Your consolations made my soul glad (Ps. 93:19). What kind of languor and darkness of soul you had then, that it’s terrible to remember them, you say; then the consolations were greater for those preceding or subsequent sorrows. - Thanks be to the Lord, even now you are not deprived of mercy from Him, from time to time there is a visit, and then a giving, or a preliminary; but rather consider yourself unworthy of consolation, then it will be better when you acquire humility; then you will always receive consolation; St. Isaac writes: “just as we are incapable of suffering great temptations, so we are also unworthy of receiving great consolations.” You listened with feeling to the life of St. Apostle Thomas about virginity and chastity, and “with burning deeds she desired to preserve her virginity, so that you, with the wise virgins, may be worthy to inherit the palace of the Heavenly Bridegroom.” But virginity alone is not needed for this; There were virgins, but they did not enter because they had no oil in their vessels, and their lamps went out. While there is bargaining and the doors of the palace are not closed, we acquire this oil by doing the commandments of God and humility; and cases are always ready for it, in order to recognize our weakness, and where our weakness is, we cannot consider ourselves better than others. Your tricky question: “Which university did I study at?” I studied at the Karachevsky Public School, and very little. And what you mention - humility - I still don’t have a trace of it, although I want to learn it, but in lessons, instead of points, I mostly get 0. What humility is there when blind people like you appease my thinness? And that’s what I’m interested in. And there are also my true benefactors, who, having known my badness, understand me in this way and do not sin. Although your passion for thoughts is a temptation of your will with excuses, you can also see the pride that precedes it; However, help is nearby for those who humble themselves and cry out to them. As for your walk towards Matins, conform to your strength, but you will force yourself beyond your strength, you will bring darkness upon darkness; It’s better to reproach yourself and have a humble wisdom. About the memory of Jesus, you write that you do not always have it, and do not have the feelings that you had before, I wrote to you about this above; and the Jesus Prayer, when we walk through it with humility, it will rise up, but as soon as the mind is carried away into an opinion, it either falls away from it or is deceived. When praying, strive for the commandments, and do not seek warmth: this exalts, but the commandments humble. “Before the time, it is disastrous to look for the high.” You were mistaken, you wrote: for repentance and humility you need to fall into some sins. There are such cases, but they are circumspect, and not intentional, and whoever deliberately crawls in the hope of repentance, “he walks deceitfully with God,” and so on, writes St. Isaac (f. 90. p. 474.). You ask from me at least a line for your everlasting memory; Who am I that I will lay down the law, finding myself in the weaknesses and wounds of sin! but I will just remind you of the Lord’s word: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). All our work consists in these small words, and without them we will accomplish nothing. Learn from them in thought, deed and word, every day; when you learn these lines, then you will be calm, peaceful and God-reliant in salvation; and for this you have many fatherly teachings and instructions befitting our title; and learn from them by doing and you will recognize your weakness and humble yourself; and besides, it is applied. – Do not look at the poverty of words, but accept the earnest offer of the many-sinful I.M., who wants to save you. October 15, 1849. You mourn for the visit of gloominess to you; but without this, what would have happened under your dispensation? You could say, with the abundance of grace-filled gifts: I said, in my abundance, I do not move (Ps. 39:7) and would trust in yourself, not yet having been in battle and having not conquered the passions; and you yourself see how they dominate you. With all your admonition, and your knowledge of how to resist passions and overcome them, and even with your good will to consider yourself the last sister, your pride and proud disposition are exposed almost every day. But you fight in feat, humble yourself, and the Lord Himself will defeat your enemies; and not by your strength. Do you remember when you happened to cut off your will in something, then your thought whispered praise to you; and what is against you, then your pride will speak; kill it, humiliate your Self! follow the rule of St. Vasily and Gregory about friendship, which you wrote down. If she (the sister), as it seems to you, does not follow it, then you will not lose anything, and you will gain more by humbling yourself. They made some effort to somehow give way to each other. And I have repeatedly advised you to each consider yourself last, and avoid being first. The enemy resists this, but don’t be discouraged, child, even if you add a thousand plagues every day, don’t deviate from your feat of self-reproach, humility and “forgive”! Reading the rule: one must read with humility and fear of God, not so that people will praise, but so that they will listen to something; and if when you get carried away and accept praise, immediately look at yourself. I will repeat about your gloominess: at St. Isaac in the 37th word, at the end: “there is no one who does not mourn during training”, etc.; and in the 31st word in the middle: “about the future prosperity” and so on, read it and take it for your strength. Our passions torment us through incidents, as St. Apostle James: God is not the tempter of the evil; Every one is tempted, because of his own lust we are drawn and deceived (James 1:14). When we consider ourselves, we ourselves are to blame for any sorrow, and the tree from which our cross is made grew on the soil of our heart. For example: some grieve for not being tonsured; what is this from? It is clear that from pride and ambition. If similar incidents happened to you, and you were offended, then accept this as an exposure of your internal structure; so all our sorrows that happen on the outside show the face of our inner man: but to those who love God, all things work together for good (Rom. 8:28). In the languor of spirit that weighs on you, I wrote to you a lot to console you, but here comes St. John of Carpathia, chapter 80, will be of benefit to you: “it is impossible for someone punished in temptation to pass through without sorrow, and thus are filled with many joys, sweet tears, and divine understandings, who have endured sickness and sorrow in their hearts.” Doesn’t it happen to you too: either after or before temptations you feel consolation? But you, reading St. Isaac, you apply matters to yourself that do not belong to you at all, about torment in Gehenna and so on. THEM. November 1st, 1849. I see what a change in your dispensation; and truly the evening may endure, but joy will come in the morning (Ps. 29:6). Your languor was not without reason: you grieved over my grief, and were faint-hearted about this, which is why your feat was so difficult for you; and you dared, as if with a murmur, to express it: “it is inexpressibly difficult to bear this gift of God”; In this way you can aggravate your grief more, and that the cross is heavy, St. writes about this. Isaac in the 37th word: “There is no one for whom this time is not bitter, in which temptations are filled with poison, without these it is not possible to dissolve the acquisitions firmly,” and further. You ask me why you were allowed to suffer so hard? Whoever understands the mind of the Lord, or whoever is a counselor, will become Him (Rom. 11:34). And are our internal movements visible to anyone? When they are hidden from us ourselves, and of course not without reason: either pride, or conceit and arrogance have subtly crept in, or even the very hope of faith in me, that I will not move forever (Ps. 29:7). Thank the Lord that He strengthened you to go through this bitter time and gave you consolation. This is the betrayal of the right hand of the Most High (Ps. 77:11). Are you asking me if your almost daily illness will be replaced by something? And again about the apostolic word: although our outer man decays, yet the inner man is renewed all the days (2 Cor. 4:16), how does this happen? You believe that in illness a person should feel in himself to a greater extent the grace-filled gifts of the Holy Spirit, but in this you are mistaken; from extracts of St. Barsanuphius, you can understand the benefit that comes from illness, and the renewal of the inner man is understood by the teachers of the church this way: “when illness crushes us, then our passions are diminished, neither the love of the world, nor the flesh of the flesh, nor other passions that comfort the outer man, act on us,” and is this not the renewal of the inner man? And you have already extended yourself to spiritual gifts. But these are not given before perfect humility. I am enclosing for you an extract from the interpretation of St. John Chrysostom, from whom you learn that the hope of future blessings is considered renewal. I wrote to you about the Jesus Prayer in order to walk humbly, not to be carried away by opinions and to strive for the commandments of God, may the Lord protect you from the deception of the enemy and grant you to know the true path. Read books, but not in order to saturate your mind with knowledge, but to fatten your soul with humble wisdom and good deeds. In your illness, do not lose heart, but rather be renewed in hope, which is what I wish for you and what I pray to the merciful Lord for. Many sinners I. Macarius. November 10th, 1849. To the message of St. Apostle Paul to the Corinthians, second, chapter 4, art. 16, interpretation of St. John Chrysostom p. 1694. Still, we are not cold, but even though our outer man is decaying, but our inner man is renewed all the days. Interpretation: “How is it smoldering? We are wounded (by disease) and expelled, countless cruel sufferings. But the inner one is renewed every day. How is it updated? Through faith, hope, zeal, etc. one must dare to fight the fierce. As much as the countless body suffers, only the soul has the best hope, and the brightest thing happens, as gold is liquefied in abundance; and see how the sorrowful present life overthrows: Art. 17 and 18, for now the lightness of our sorrow, by multiplying above the multiplication... makes us the burden of eternal glory, not looking at us visible, but invisible. Interpretation: “Having closed a thing in hope, and in the Epistle to the Romans he says: for by hope we are saved, but visible hope is not hope (Rom. 8:24) (but you seek spiritual gifts, this is already a visible hope.) Having established this here, the present one is similar to the future. Even now, to the eternal; light to heavy; sorrow, to glory. And below this is enough; but he puts it differently, aggravating it and saying, more than multiplying by multiplying. The image also shows how easy it is to eat despite so much sorrow. How easy is it? not visible to us, but invisible. This present will be easy, and the future is great, even if we take it away from the visible. What is visible is temporary, and so are sorrows. The invisible is eternal, and so are the crowns. And not to speak of such sorrow: but, all visible, even if there is torment, even if there is peace.” You may be sick and sorrowful, but you also receive God’s mercy through spiritual consolation, either during services or while reading. This means that the inner man is renewed when the outer man decays. But so that you are not carried away into arrogance, consolation is hidden for a while, but the cross appears, which bears much fruit in the sanctuary (Rom. 6:22), as it is written in the discussion about Rachel and Leah. You were confused by the dream you saw, the blood and the cross; and you suppose there will be sorrows: God knows. Yes, even if there are sorrows (of which you are no stranger even now), then surely they will be sent, by the will of God, with mercy and a speedy resolution, and surely with the acquisition of spiritual benefit. And you be indifferent and don’t be embarrassed. Thank God, you have a spiritual treasure, the teaching of St. fathers, and God grants you to understand part of the Scriptures; Let it not be a naked mind, and a rod of reed that will pierce the hand, according to the word of St. Brand. Look at your passions, for example: you have a passion of ambition, and if the opportunity arises, if you were denied tonsure, you would certainly grieve about it; and this is because the passion of ambition bothers you; similarly in other cases, anger and so on. This is where you need to look for a decent plaster in spiritual clinics; and there is a lot of good there, and you often admire it, and it seems that you would be ready to bear it: but this requires skill. May the Lord enlighten you in your spiritual mind and strengthen you in your deeds. Don’t think that I am a doer, no, I am far behind, but I speak and do not do, I just write to warn you. You are embarrassed about your mother, as if she will be deprived of the kingdom of heaven. This is not a matter of our mind, but we must leave it to the will and mercy of God and be calm. Since they (Lutherans) did not have living communion with the Orthodox Church in its sacraments, it does not allow them to be partakers of them even after death, i.e. in offering a bloodless sacrifice for them; we must obey this. But you can often pray to God for the repose of her soul; as we see that the forehead of the pagan priest spoke to St. Macarius: “When you pray for us, it makes us happier.” St. Athanasius says: whoever is not born of water and the spirit cannot enter the kingdom of heaven (John 3:5), this is said about those who are not baptized, but they are baptized, although incorrectly and, when they turn to our Church, they are not rebaptized, but only renounce the teachings of Luther and are anointed with myrrh. Peace be with you! sinful I. Macarius. November 19, 1849. Glory to God that you have been honored to be a partaker of the most pure Mysteries of Christ: and do not be faint-hearted because you did not fast; Yes, you, suffering in body, endure the greater feat of fasting. May the Most Merciful Lord forgive you for all your sins! Be calm in spirit and healthy in body! If, by the will of God, the illness continues, then I advise you to proceed to the immortal and life-giving Meal of the Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ; look not at your own dignity, but at the ineffable mercy of God! He is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, and has washed away our sins with His Most Pure Blood. St. Isaac the Syrian beautifully expresses the mercy of God for sinners in words 89 and 90, read. Approach our Savior with faith and love! Upon accepting this great gift, you felt relief in body and spirit; This is an act of God's mercy! I advise you to fearlessly accept the sacrament of anointing; it will also bring you great benefit and joy to your soul. You ask me to send you an extract about Rachel and Leah; it consists of this: they depict the life of a spiritual person: in Leah the cross, and in Rachel spiritual consolations; but Rachel is red and childless; a Leah is not red, but she bears many fruits; the cross is unpleasant, but brings many benefits, and consolations are sweet, but not so fruitful; and Rachel later bears fruit, but first she feels the need for Leah, etc. Do not grieve that you do not attend church due to illness; you are part of the living church of God (2 Cor. 6:16); and as it is written in the troparion about St. Job: “I have torn apart a pillar of the body, but I have not stolen the treasures of the spirit.” And you keep your soul, in your weak flesh, unharmed from the arrows of the enemy. I see how the enemy is trying to disrupt your mutual peace with your sister with insignificant things, but you can’t escape the battle; without skill a person cannot be skilled; There is victory and conquest, and they consist of our will, and when we try to resist the machinations of the enemy, we call on God’s help: even if we fall, we will not be broken, but will be strengthened more in battle and in virtue. You read from Elder Paisius about what kind of dispensation his brothers had, that they loved those who reproached and considered them their benefactors; after all, they got to this point through heroism and labor, and they weren’t like that; and then we see others trying to comprehend them. We are conquered in battles and win, and not that we are like adamants, not accepting battles. Do not grieve for the chilling of passions. God, seeing your will, is able to give you help and victory for this, but not suddenly, but as we humble ourselves. I ask you, for God’s sake, do not hide the serpent in your hearts; if it stirs a little, immediately crush its head; and with what? You know: self-reproach, humility and love. I wish you peace in your hearts. I remain the sinful I.M. December 20, 1849. I will not begin to calculate in detail, contrary to your letter, about your weaknesses and inclinations; I’ll tell you the main thing, why, in my opinion, you fall into strong temptations: first, while receiving great consolations, you cannot bear them, but you need to cleanse them with the fire of also strong temptations; and secondly, from contempt of neighbors and rebellion against them. You yourself admit that you are in an unnatural dispensation, blaming your neighbors; This is why you suffer; and when you think sensibly, you will see that through them you recognize your bad dispensation, and you have a means of correcting yourself by fulfilling the commandments of God. Remember also that they want to be saved no less than you, but because of the enemy’s excuses, not being able to recognize his treachery, they act without resisting passion. But can’t they come with true reason and repent? When you look at yourself, you will see how many arrows the enemy shoots into your heart, and you do not reflect them, do not resist passions, but are overcome and suffer greatly. Don’t blame anyone for your misfortunes, for humiliating you, for reproaches, ironies, etc., all this is done by the sight of God, to show you your mental illnesses and to heal you. Your last embarrassment touched me deeply. What's the matter? It seems to you that everything is strained and political, and according to the explanations, she did not accept the notice. Where is the love? Where is humility and self-reproach? There is not even the appearance of resistance to passion. How did a spark of enmity fall between you and smolder like in ashes? It’s time to extinguish it with the water of love and humility. Notice, when you are touched by the memory of your sister's tonsure, what does it mean? You write out of pride! Yes, but also because you don’t resist passion, but act on it. This evil spark, having sunk, has already taken on a lot of embers and was kindled by the memory of previous incidents, which is why it is difficult for you to fight them and extinguish this fierce fire. Take a closer look: what is there to mourn about? About outer clothing: does it make a monk? But you want to be saved: make an internal monk, not an external one. And when we grieve over this, we move further away from salvation. Pride is alien to the monastic image; humility is akin to it. At the beginning of your letter, I saw that the depth of passions rose up against you and a storm of contrary winds sank your boat: special help from God was needed; I grieved for this deeply; but a ray of hope shone that another day would bring joy, which came true. This should be a lesson for you in the future, not to lose heart in excitement and not to dare in silence, but to bring glory and thanksgiving to the Lord in everything to the Mother of God. Having wished you peace and harmony, I am ending the year and entering the field of a new one. I.M. December 31, 1849. You submit it to my judgment: either by the power of words to dissuade you, or to agree with you; and you will get ease in both cases. Although you realize that you do not have humility, which calms everyone, you at the same time say that “are you to blame for the fact that the tenderness of feelings is no small reason that aggravates your sorrows?” that “every little thing upsets you?” “You would like to keep yourself from grief, but your heart is hurt!” These are your words. How can we accept the teaching about the providence of God, without which the power of your head will not perish (Luke 21:18) God knows your dispensation; but according to this judgment of yours, does he send you beyond your measure and strength (1 Cor. 10:13.)? Wouldn't this be blasphemy against God? On the contrary, He measures our strengths, and according to them sends the temptation necessary for our correction; and the cause of the burden is our pride, and we, not wanting to become angry and reproach ourselves, excuse ourselves with the tenderness of feelings. It is impossible not to suddenly feel the movement, but with it you can reproach yourself, and then the effect of passion will weaken. When we think that we are innocent in this movement, we will be far from healing. Passion is healed by compulsion and skill, and when we give free rein, under the guise of tenderness of feelings, skill intensifies passion; what you see in many who are old and do not care about the compulsion to self-reproach, and in them the passion has intensified. And so that nothing touches us, without conquering passions, you will not find a place in all nature; if no one touches us, then the passions themselves will not give us peace: we are in spiritual warfare. It is in vain that you enter into the subtle fragmentation of your feelings regarding the love of the Lord for your sister, as if this is why you have frequent clashes, that you do not have love for her, and that you are only forcing yourself out of obedience to me, and so on. All this greatly confused you, and it turned out that instead of benefiting you, you received harm. Instead, you must, and you do this according to the commandment of God, for your common benefit, and not for me; and to me, in itself, your peace is pleasant, because it makes the feat of your salvation easier. The enemy who hates good causes him confusion and tries to make conflicts out of trifles; love and humility are God’s commandment, not mine; all our exploits relate to achieving these. Read the 25th degree of John the Climacus often, maybe it will be planted in your heart: how necessary and saving the virtue of humility is. You see that your view of these things is not entirely correct, that you are forcing yourself to please me; You need to remember more the commandment of God, for which I am giving you advice. However, if you acquire the fear of God from human fear, then this too can be allowed, but we must remember that I am not a legislator, but a pointer of it, although I am unworthy of it. After the languor, you were also in consolation; thank God for everything; what will happen from now on is unknown; we see only the past and the present, and about the future we will place our trust in God, only if we humble ourselves as we should; This is not the last science, you need to work hard and rise from your falls; recognize your weakness and do not blame any of your neighbors. I sincerely wish you peace! Much sinner Jer. Macarius. February 21, 1850. I hope that you will accept reproach from me rather than the praise of flatterers; the first comes from a true disposition towards you in the Lord and a desire for your spiritual benefit. When you are exhausted by illness, do not think that the enemy is showing you your illness in a magnifying form, and do not try to force yourself beyond your strength; God will accept the patience of your illness instead of any work. After you read it from St. Isaac in the 51st word “like betrayal”, you accepted to yourself that you are guilty of reproaching your neighbors for your sorrows - and it would seem necessary to follow the useful teaching of the great elder; but I see that in subsequent actions you forgot what you read; and how many have suffered from not reproaching themselves, but their neighbors? In the story about the thought that came to your sister, tell me: should she have told you this thought, as I advised you, to destroy it? And you took it as an insult to her, and exaggerated that whenever she did not want to accept a thought, the enemy would inflict it on her. Where did you get the idea that the enemy knows what thoughts we will accept and offers them? Quite the opposite, and this is nowhere to be found; So that's why there's no need to open it? and give freedom to this serpent, to settle in our hearts, not only to the point of unworldliness, but also to hatred? And I asked you, and you gave your word: not to hide your thoughts, but to destroy them by revelation. The same demon who instilled suspicion in her about you and informed you about this, and then fanned unworldliness; and about instilling thoughts, the enemy does not know which ones we accept, but offers different ones; whichever we accept, the more it will be applied. Do you see how cunning the enemy is? and the mind corrupts, to blame others, and not oneself; This last thing calms, but it overshadows this hour; You read that self-reproach brings peace, but you accept what upsets you. Your letter tells a big story about N.N.’s letter and your friendship; you excuse yourself by the fact that without having ardent love for your sister, you cannot force yourself to bear her infirmities; This hides the great intrigue of the enemy, this extreme is dangerous because - let it not come to the other extreme - hatred. What is sought from us is Christian love, not enthusiastic love, and simply to say, the middle of these extremes, from which we can reach a love that never falls away, through doing the commandments of God. You apologize for the difference in your morals: but how can you find more diversity in the living community? but by will and compulsion they reach the point of love for everyone; how Elder Paisius had those who achieved love for their enemies and considered them their benefactors; and with such self-justification it is impossible to come to a good disposition. You find that heartfelt friendship is soothing, but forced love is thorny; what is this? The Lord commanded us, to our peace, to love not only our neighbors, but also our enemies; and when compulsory love seems thorny, then the reason for this is our passions; There are no excuses here, and only humility can be reassuring. Looking at your wisdom, I am surprised that you, thinking to be wise, I won’t say - foolishly (Rom. 1:22), but judge contrary to the truth; and I'm very sorry for that. And the reason for this is your passions. I write to you, examining your passions; and when you take a closer look, you will find that the cause of your confusion is your own passions. You write in the evening that you have calmed down, but the next day a storm rages over you. “You ask me to reason with you and open up your clouds before you, but you immediately say that it is sad and painful to compress your heart to the depths of your soul when it strives for the holy feeling of friendship and love.” I don’t see this feeling of the saints, as I described to you in a letter, but I see that the enemy used this pretext to stir up confusion among you, one with the passion of jealousy, and the other with an imaginary righteous indignation; you quickly rushed to battle, but without the weapon of humility; That’s why it’s convenient for the enemy to overthrow you. You seem to be at peace, but the sting of blasphemy against your sister still remains in your heart and the reproach against her is even more poisoned. “You are surprised that she soon calms down after the storm; and didn’t the same thing happen to you here, after a strong storm; did you receive peace from one word or letter? Try to see the best side of her, and close your eyes to the worst, considering yourself worse than her. Be peaceful, this is what the great sinner Jerome wishes for you. Poppy. February 24, 1850. You write about your ill health, and mental disorder adds burden to it. Strengthen yourself by devotion to the will of God and the hope that through these temporary sufferings a blessed eternity is prepared for you! Who loves you more than God, who spared His beloved and Only Begotten Son? He shed His precious blood for your salvation, so that he could grieve you and visit you with such illnesses, and not give you joy and health in everything? But He, in His all-encompassing wisdom, saw that all this would not be useful to you, but harmful; With His loving kindness He visited you with illness and strengthens you in it, and sometimes feeds you with the milk of spiritual consolation. In the most difficult trials of your burden, mental or physical, turn your heart to thanksgiving to the Lord; and beware of murmuring. You yourself, knowing your ardent character, imagine what you could suffer, with the abundance and completeness of all external good? violent passions would dominate you, and your boat would plunge into a sea of ​​passions, in the absence of another helmsman - humility; for when external and spiritual things are good, vanity and conceit tend to creep in. My psychological reasoning, about which I already wrote to you, also relates to this matter. Do you consider all these arguments to be correct, tell me? And when this is the case, then try to strengthen yourself with them. Faith will follow simplicity (Isa. Sir. ff. 49, p. 241). When you accept in the simplicity of your heart, various cases, both from your neighbors and in the understanding of the scriptures, or what adventures: faith resolves and calms; and when in subtlety and in the resistance of thoughts, that is, research, testing, pseudo-understanding, comprehension: exaltation appears. But this is not the same as noticing your thoughts and presenting them for destruction. I mean so, but I don’t know, right? You write that the struggle with passions is difficult; yes this is not new. What are you studying about and why did you withdraw from the world? Having known their cruelty, you will be more skillful and humble. I wrote to you that you need to have self-reproach for allowing your feelings to become weak. Just as someone who is furious becomes inflamed by his rage and loses his calm in cases that disturb him; Likewise, other passions, which we acquire through our skills, are our tormentors, such as: love of glory and ambition cause great sorrow and illness to a person when he sees humiliation; carnal passion, whoever is enslaved by it deprives his slave of peace; and the love of money, it seems, transforms the entire composition of the soul into itself. The temptations that occur to them seem to them to have been sent beyond measure, because these passions have become so deep within them that they have almost become nature. Who is the reason for this if not them? Consider this: why do you not bear sorrow so indifferently, but are exhausted, attributing it to the tenderness of feelings; Doesn't the Lord know your strength? and does he really send beyond your measure? (1 Cor. 10:13). This is completely unfair and false. You still disagreed with me on this; but it seems that this is due to self-justification and lack of self-reproach. If you delve deeper, you can see in your structure a semblance of a violent part; when they insult us when we are still little, or do something that is contrary to us, then we, unable to satisfy ourselves with anything else, begin to cry; further and further everything is the same and the same. Also at age. It’s bitter that they upset me - I cry, and I cry bitterly; This happens to me as a habit, and as if involuntarily I get carried away by the relaxation of my feelings. What does this mean? Is this not the action of the same furious part? just in different forms. “What I wrote to you, you should not be offended by this, or horrified for your dispensation, but moreover, having known it, reproach yourself and humble yourself, then you will receive God’s help, which I earnestly wish for you, much-sinful I. Macarius.” March 17, 1850. It was not without God’s permission that you struggled to meet with your relatives, and a picture of their pleasant family life was drawn before you, so that you may not become arrogant, receiving good consolations from the most merciful Lord, about which you often write to me, and especially on March 21, that you thanked God, who deigned you to be in the monastery and enjoy spiritual pleasure incomparable. “It’s obvious, albeit subtly, that you have become exalted in your mind about yourself, and that’s why you allowed yourself such a temptation.” Your view is incorrect that everyone has consolation from their relatives, and on the contrary, you will find in your monastery almost half of them who are completely round orphans and, apart from God, have no hope of help or consolation from their close relatives. So, leave this carnal wisdom and reproach yourself; and thank God that you live in a monastery and are provided with everything; many others are deprived of even that. If you are often carried away by those thoughts, then perhaps you will be carried away into the world, but if the Lord does not allow it, then why voluntarily incur abuse on yourself? I hope, however, that these battles and thoughts were fleeting, and with the help of God, they have long passed, the darkness has been driven away, and the light has shone! It was very sad for me to see from your letter that you were so upset that, as they say about you: will you forbid someone to think about themselves as someone understands? Likewise, we sometimes think and speak incorrectly about others. Afterwards you say well: “We live poorly, we have abundance in everything, but we must endure something.” So - endure, and not accept as warmly as you accepted, and thereby only aggravated your grief both mentally and physically; You, of course, believe that all sorrow, no matter who it is, is allowed by God; He acts with people as weapons in the matter of our salvation, about which St. has a lot to say. fathers: Mark, Dorotheus, Isaac and others; I’m not prescribing it for you, you’ll find it yourself; I wrote a lot about this before. After all, we all want to be saved, we are moving towards the same goal; but we go astray at crossroads, we condemn each other, we despise, we hurt; God looks at all this and allows it to happen for our own good; and what, you say, is the benefit? read from Elder Paisius in a letter to Priest Dmitry, from which many of his brothers came to such a dispensation that they “loved those who reproached as benefactors” and so on; you will see a good arrangement there; Is it not because there were people who reproached them and did many other nasty things? Apparently they thought there was something bad in them, but there was none in them; otherwise it could not be called patience. However, they should not be considered lost, for they, in turn, were purified from others by the same actions; and good ascetics considered them not only an instrument of their salvation, but also benefactors, without calculating their malice. In "Lavsaik", I think you read how your brothers, sisters, took poor Isidora, and made her as pure as gold, but did they really die? no, many of them received salvation; They thought everything was bad in her, just as it often seems bad to us in people, and we take upon ourselves the rank of a strict judge and torturer, forgetting about our sins; how we do it - I am the first - a sinner, and you, in turn. What comes of this? Those who endure complacently receive benefits; and what remains for us is repentance, and, in turn, patience. Remember the word that we see bad in people, but they either don’t have it or don’t see it in themselves; but it is impossible to attribute this judgment and torture to everyone and everyone - both evil life and disposition. I said above that we want to be saved, but we are led astray by crossroads and by the enemy’s slander, which we do not notice; and how one should have a struggle with the enemy and passions - either we do not understand, or we are careless. Today we read the wondrous covenant of our Lord Jesus Christ to the disciples, He is completely imbued with love and: “He who loves Me,” he says, “keeps My commandments” (John 14:23); what are His commandments? Love! and Love! even before that: love your enemies (Matthew 5:44). Where should the poor go? for we are far from the love of the Lord who loves us when we do not fulfill His commandment, do not love our enemies, but reproach them in every possible way and see in them cunning, malice, etc. Let us think about this, and although from now on we will make a beginning, we will flow towards this virtue, although we cannot comprehend its top; but we flow and will not return back. Who has done more evil and to whom, our Creator and Lord, if not us? but He, instead of rejection and punishment, suffers for us, His enemies, and sacrifices Himself to God and the Father on the altar of the cross. He forgave us, and we will also forgive those who offend us, so that when we celebrate the bright feast of the Resurrection of Christ, we can sing with a pure heart: “And to those who hate us we will forgive all by the Resurrection and thus we will cry out: Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and giving life to those who are in the tombs.” You will receive this letter within a week, and I hope that what I wrote, even now, with the remembrance of the suffering of the Lord and His Resurrection, will affect your hearts, and the peace of God will be with you! You agree to my assurances that the cause of your relaxation and impatience during grief is you yourself; but you still find something bewildering, then I can no longer certify you with anything; In my opinion, it seems that this is enough to convince; Maybe you’ll find it somewhere else yourself, in the books of St. fathers. I notice in your letters that you have begun to feel more peace of mind, and what does this mean? God's mercy visits you because of your illnesses (Ps. 93:19). Be peaceful and calm, and now I greet you, Christ is Risen! be healthy. Tomorrow is a bright holiday, may your heart rejoice in the Lord. Hieromonk Macarius. April 22, 1850. With your letter you consoled me, first: that you accepted mine with joy; and secondly, I see that she had a completely different feeling towards those who were at enmity with you, and not the same as she described in her last letter, which touched me a lot. You know enough that you were then in an unnatural state, and you feel sorrow and confusion, you suffer, but do not get married; and when you are in a natural state, the same things and the same people appear to you in a different form. It’s best to recognize your own badness and thank God for sending us these cases; they serve us as teachers for the time being; consideration of our attempts, which are often hidden from us, but others clearly see them; and the knowledge of our weak measures, how far we are from love and humility. - Look at your structure: with all the desire and disposition to maintain peace with your sister, what a storm of confusion sometimes arises, and when you give free rein to passion, what would not happen? From now on, I advise you to be careful and humble! You reproach yourself for being proud; I will not contradict this; but all measures of humility must be used against it, and the Lord is strong to overthrow it. When you were defeated, you clearly saw your badness, and you involuntarily say good things to me, for you humbled me ecu (Ps. 119:71). And at the same time, the embarrassment that happened between you was again an act of pride. Do not be discouraged and do not be embarrassed when you struggle with passions, for they humble us and do not elevate us; but on the contrary, what good does it do you to be right against your sister? Here it would be good to remember Ilya Ekdik’s poem: “truth without humility is blind, and is established in spite.” I’m glad that you realized and were convinced of your mistake, but how many of them can there be when we trust our hearts? Just as you were sure that your heart could not deceive you, but instead, it deceived you. Now you admit that this happened out of pride, so humble yourself. - How much work did it take to convince you? I see how much the merciful and loving Lord visited you with His mercy, during the days of His suffering and Resurrection; you thanked Him that you were worthy to be in this monastery; and this came from the abundance of spiritual consolation and joy. But it is not always possible to have this and always be on Tabor; If you cannot bear this, you will not come to humility; sorrows are also allowed, so that joys are more appreciated. After that, or on the same day, the fire of grief and zeal for the sister should have burned out pride, perhaps vanity, so that she would humble herself and not be exalted by the gift of the good. Be peaceful and healthy, I remain a great sinner Jep. Macarius. April 30th, 1850. I want to tell you a few words that I left unfinished in my last letter; about what I call cowardice in you, but you attribute to tenderness of feelings from which you cannot bear anything. Scripture tells us: The Lord creates the spirit in man (Gen. 2:7). Having created their hearts in one (Ps. 32:15), test their hearts and bellies righteously (Ps. 7:10). There are many other texts about this; and this is certain, that God sends sorrows to people according to the strength of each (1 Cor. 10:13); and what we cannot bear must be blamed on ourselves; as I noted to you St. Isaac 51 words 79, and you yourself mentioned that you read in the 59 words that “grace carries us in His hands and does not allow us to be crushed.” But, I see, it seems to you that you cannot bear the tenderness of your feelings; therefore, there is no longer any need to reproach yourself for allegedly being this way by nature. Is God really unrighteous that he sends you unbearable sorrows? no! By the way, it doesn’t hurt you to read from St. Abba Dorotheus, “it is certain and grateful to endure temptations” page 82. But we will also look at examples that are often before our eyes; for example, let’s take the furious part: whoever first strives against it legally, little by little comes to the dispensation of meekness, that is, he encourages himself to meekness, self-reproach, patience with insults, annoyances, attacks and other things, from this the furious part softens. But if (someone), on the contrary, never forces himself to endure and restrain rage in anything, but rewards it on the contrary, or does not suppress it in himself with self-reproach and patience, then, over time, it intensifies even more in him, and becomes, as it were, natural or natural, even if there is evil in the habit; and can no longer bear a single word, but gets irritated and blames, not himself, but others; and yet he is always deprived of peace and tranquility. In the 6th word of St. Simeon the New Theologian clearly presents an example of two equals who came in opposition to each other; From these examples, pay attention to yourself: you had sorrows while still in the world, you accepted them indifferently, with great grief, and as if you were involuntarily upset; further, further, your feelings relaxed (just like your furious ones) - and you came to this position. Therefore, one must blame oneself, and not the weakness and tenderness of feelings or incidents; after all, God sends them, and they do not come blindly; But with God there is no unrighteousness and all our strengths are measured. When you accept this reasoning as the truth, you will reproach yourself, humble yourself and receive God’s mercy! I. M. May 15, 1850. Having written to you in general, I find it necessary to say something especially to you in favor of your soul and the general world; and first I assure you that you were forgiven then, as I wrote to you; be calm and accept reproofs in the future not as the scourge of a tormentor, but as instructions and healing for your illness that comes from love. And now what I am going to write about your dispensation comes from nothing other than fatherly love (although I am not worthy of this name), and not from the fact that I grieve for you - as you write: “don’t grieve me because I openly tell you my real feeling.” But what will happen when I keep silent? and leave you to your opinion? I truly wish that there is equality between you, and that each of you considers herself the last and worst. It is necessary to notice and analyze the power of these actions: to desire and affirm your equality is my business, and to protect it from dominance; and when you - who begins to look for this, notice and grieve about this - then you will be far removed from that thought and feat, so that you may have yourself as the worst and last sister. Unfortunately for me, this eludes you. - Is it then possible to be embarrassed that my sister is preferred to me when she is in search of a feeling of lastness? Consider this! It is obvious that this search does not exist, but pride, or simply say pride, takes its place. I am not the only one who accuses you of this, but in both of them I see this horn rising and I heartily condole with you about this. Every passion of ours is exposed by cases; However, I am not surprised that passions fight you, and I know that you are weak: but it is a pity that they blind, and instead of grieving over our passion, we grieve that they are depriving it of food. Is this what those who seek humility should do? Look at St. Gregory of Sinaite, chapters 115 and 117. I hope that you will accept this reproof of mine as coming from love, and not from a desire to offend or wound, but to give an opportunity for wisdom and to provide spiritual benefit. St. John Climacus, in the degree of humility, verse 17: “where there is no humility, there everything we have is unclean and vain”; further verses 32, 34 and 37 all show the necessary need for this virtue for those who want to be saved; and no matter where we look, everyone teaches about it, and shows what wonderful fruit it produces - peace of mind and true salvation, even apart from deeds; and deeds without this virtue are vain. Why are we not concerned about acquiring this treasure? and when an opportunity presents itself to acquire it, we not only miss it, but also respect the opposite vice to it - self-love and pride; and we make their acquisition, which, instead of peace, plunges us into great confusion. Leaving all this to your judgment; If you find it right, then try to follow it, just be sure that I wrote this, wanting to free you from the slavery of bitter passions. But what will my wish accomplish? Your efforts, compulsion and God's help are needed; for which I humbly pray to His goodness, even though I am unworthy and have done nothing but good; but if you find benefit, maybe I will also be worthy of God’s mercy! THEM. 21st June 1850. Having read your letter, I want to say a few words to you about it, although I have very short and limited time; but in order not to forget the thoughts that have entered my mind, I throw them on paper. Now, as before, you are being swayed by the enemy against me, although he may cool or destroy your faith. Remember your previous disposition and when would someone have told you then that you would have such thoughts towards me that you would respond? Verno was firmly convinced otherwise. Pride alone is enough for the enemy - you are caught in this, and there is no need to fight against it. As you so beautifully put it: “offended pride.” Secular voice! in their opinion, offended self-love is a virtue, but with us it is completely different. But, one might say, open pride in you is a terrible vice; you must be grateful for revealing it to you and try to correct yourself with a virtue that is contrary to it, descending into the depths of humility. All these thoughts with those contrary to them, like speculators, fought with you; and I know that it was hard for you, but I believe that this involuntary struggle, from your free actions, has strongly affected you, and from arrogance you are in hesitation. Well, what if you give freedom to your feelings? what a wonderful contrast it will be?! Take a closer look, when the eyes of the mind are not yet darkened, and remember your initial proposal, the desire to seek salvation, humility through obedience, reading and writing such books that teach and encourage one to humble oneself; where is this good seed? are not the enemy's tares falling on him in large quantities? Oh, may they not suppress the holy seed! I expressed this to you for the sake of remembrance and arousing myself to humility. – And about the acquisition of faith, in greatness, read in the book of St. Peter of Damascus, what thoughts should be transferred from the enemy, etc. Read also from St. John Climacus in the 26th degree: “if they desire to know the will of God,” etc.... Also in the word of St. Kaccian to Leontin the Abbot about reasoning, and in the 78th word of St. Isaac the Syrian about patience with temptations - with what reason, two sections: “when you find peace on your path unchangeable”, etc., and the answer to the question: “temptation does not come,” etc., here you will see that “in temptations you must have these two, joy and fear.” Hear why. It doesn’t hurt me that I seem to you to be an egoist, I have many more passions nesting in me than these, and I’m worth it, but the sad thing is that you are in danger of falling; neither my passions will harm you, nor my virtues will correct you, without your faith and will; when faith blossoms, it also receives strength in struggle, but when it becomes scarce, one can fall into double-mindedness. How many efforts were there for you to write to me every day, and I did not miss reading and trying to admonish you, but the enemy is trying to shake you in order to tear you away for arrogance and pride. Peace be with you! It was and is my desire that you acquire humility, which preserves you from all the snares and snares of the enemy and brings you peace and salvation. – I read, talked and wrote about this; I saw that you had a proposal for this: how can you not regret it now when I see the growing fruits that are contrary to this: the desire for preference, and you yourself give a price to your merits, and so on. and so on. All this is the reason for your fierce temptations and sorrows. – Try to take a closer look at yourself, there is hope for improvement. The Lord is merciful! What kind of passion bothers you?... “If there were no substance, the dog would not bark.” Am I telling the truth? THEM. July 5, 1850. I will tell you about your peace and harmony: you yourself know and should appreciate them, for their foundation is laid on the stone of fatherly teachings; read the article in the superscript on Nil Sorsky: “when they dream” and so on, in the life of Elder Paisius, page 172; you will see what benefits can come from observing the rules prescribed there; but in the past time, how much have you suffered, and especially you, from the admixture of third-party, imaginary friendship? one was greatly carried away by it, and the other melted away from the passion of envy. Was there even a shadow of the way of life prescribed above? and you, while you were still armed against this, saw my egoism here and considered it a burden to yourself that you could not have affection for others and be loved by them. Much, much was weaving then in your heart, agitated by a storm of passions, and what of it? You only multiplied your sorrows and suffering, from time to time self-accusations burst out - but self-justification was more effective. I remind you of this not in order to upset you by reprimanding you, but in order to arrange things ahead and warn you against such attempts that lead to painful consequences. Truly, that time was the time of demonic battles against your suffering spirit, and no matter how hard I tried to give you consolation and instruction, it had little effect until the Lord, through the prayers of the Most Pure Virgin Mary and His saints, turned your heart to the knowledge of your errors; and you knew that it was not my selfishness that acted, but the true desire for your salvation. You yourself realize that your concepts have changed in reading, and now you understand differently what seemed to you then in a different form. May the Lord confirm your life in this way, and you keep this gift in humility, and help each other in enemy battles that happen, more condescendingly, and not demanding from each other. In your analysis of addiction, it is definitely true that if I told you to leave something, but my heart aches about it, there is clearly an addiction; That is why rejection of one’s will and reason is necessary, and it should be preferred in every matter, occasion and undertaking. Many of the fathers write about this: St. John Climacus, Abba Dorotheos, Simeon and others. One must listen to so many witnesses, and not follow one’s own mind and will, not hoping for the purity of one’s friendship, while still having a passionate heart. THEM. September 15th, 1850. Although my time is short, I will briefly say something about your writing. Passionate memories and admiration for them expose your weak dispensation; and fear for the future and, the opposite, arrogant audacity, are both harmful and futile; and according to your good intentions and humble wisdom, the Lord will be able to protect you. You know where the fall is, even if only in thoughts, pride preceded it. - Conquer this hydra with its seven heads with the help of God. Don’t be surprised that during the Jesus Prayer cold thoughts come to you; It is clear that she prayed with opinion, and not with humility. The Monk Hesychius clearly teaches sobriety, attention and prayer, and in chapter 20 he offers four rules: humility, extreme attention, contradiction and prayer. Apparently it is impossible not to have nasty excuses, but they cannot be gotten rid of or overcome without humility; and where can we climb to heights, if only to see the path of this lofty endeavor? Your dispensation is daytime, rebellious; you look at others, judge, and so on: then the mind can no longer pray purely. At the very least, remembering all your efforts, humble your thoughts, and with a humble prayer ask the Lord for mercy, and not for advancement in spiritual gifts. You also write that you were very sorrowful from languor of spirit, i.e. spiritual cross, and I immediately see that you accept this burden without complaining, considering yourself worthy of it, and asking for patience in such cases. I was glad that you began to come to the true mind. God bless! But how could there not be these temptations, when in the previous time you were rewarded with so many spiritual consolations? And you yourself wrote that one must expect to be overcome by any temptations. “Whoever is dissatisfied with suffering temptations is also dissatisfied with accepting spiritual consolations,” writes St. Isaac the Syrian and again: “gift without temptation, destruction is for those who accept it.” (fn. 34, p. 138) Glory to God, who visited you with this sorrow, and again freed you from it. Again you are carried away into trusting your heart and the feeling that you are better loved; what do you need this for? think about whether this will not be a hindrance to your peace, but for you a seduction and arrogance? I am not writing all this to shame you, but as my beloved child I am punishing you (1 Cor. 4:14). I thank you for accepting my reminders of past incidents without embarrassment, but with love and precaution; as they were and written. Are you asking if, according to your arrangement, it is possible to make extracts and notes from my letters? What is done with good intention cannot harm; you just need to watch that ivy does not take hold of good plants, which can dry up their fruit - I mean ivy - vanity, which was approaching you; but for this you need to have courage of mind, and see your own thinness; and even the falls will be involuntarily subdued. You also ask how to act in your life so as not to give rise to greater falls? We always learn and try to learn about this, and we can notice that where the fall followed, pride preceded it; You need to arm yourself against it most of all, and see your own thinness and have insanity. And since we have not yet acquired this, it is necessary that our neck wears out involuntarily. Is it possible to establish a special rule for this? Let you do the right thing in everything, and not give a reason for a fall, but in an inconspicuous way you have ascended about this, and now the fall is ready. You have done everything well, and there is no reason for you to fall; As if that's enough? Due to your weak nature, your sister touched you with something, you were embarrassed, you didn’t bear it, then shouldn’t you really reproach yourself, because you’re right? but didn’t bear it, she was offended; So here’s what you’re doing to consume this passion – blaming yourself! I.M. October 6, 1850. You write about your illness. May the Lord help you to bear this visit easily. You ask about alms to the poor, how to give it, seeing the needy and mourning, you would like to give to them, but are you afraid of vanity? You are still far from perfect, and cannot fulfill the commandments: go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and have treasure in heaven (Matthew 19:21). Then you would not be subject to almsgiving. And now, by the grace of God, having sufficient content, you give, if possible, to your neighbors out of well-intentioned zeal. But even this must be done with reasoning: if you become glorified and become so merciful, will it be useful for you to receive peace, both from others and from yourself? and when you let it go like this, you have to deny yourself many things that you need, which can lead to sorrow. But if you allocated even half of your wealth to distribution, then everyone would not be able to meet the needs of all those in need. You already have a certain annual amount for this, do so, according to reasoning and by common agreement, like this: when the opportunity arises to help someone, pray to God, ask each other for consent, but by no means making up your own will, but as God announces to the other, do so; and when a contradiction occurs, and there is sorrow for this, then it is better to leave and reproach yourself - which is clear either she wanted to do with vanity, or there is no will of God in this help; and far from swearing that one or the other takes over and cuts off my will, this matter will not be pleasing to God; what is done with love is pleasing to Him. N.N. told you not to lose your health through exploits; I mean feats in the fact that you strive to visit the sick out of reason, but you damage yourself by doing so; and sometimes through force you force yourself to obey the Church; You have suffered more than once from all this. And what kind of exploits can there be, and especially when you compare them with those who preceded us and were former workers; Of course, it is necessary to give the body work according to its strength; and turn to doing the mind? - but you are still so young that passions will get the better of you; or they will retreat, and pride will reign; her advice is not entirely sound and not entirely sound. When reading the letters of the Svyatogorets about the sick and the grateful, God sent you reason and feeling to strengthen yourself in a painful situation. But do not think that this is because of your dignity, but because of God’s mercy towards you. Because of the multitude of my illnesses, Your consolations have gladdened my soul (Ps. 93:19). And the very thing that I read this matter is not yours, but God’s; and so sweep away all opinion and vanity from yourself, and thank God for everything. The advice given to you to cut off passions with your mind, it seems, will not agree with the teachings of St. Isaac the Syrian in the 2nd word “the work of the cross is purely” and so on, read with attention. According to her reason, to begin the act with the second part, and not the first, to annoy the cross, then you will immediately fall into arrogance, inducing the wrath of God. After all, our mind cannot conquer passions until it is suppressed, and it recognizes its weakness and humbles itself. I wish you to be calm and healthy. I remain multigr. THEM. November 2, 1850. Although I wrote forgiveness to you in a general letter, you surely also want a special letter. I do this too; May the Lord forgive you and I, a sinner, forgive! I will not remember all your objections against me that came to you during the excitement of the stormy elements of the furious part, for you bring repentance for all of them. But your question about those who insult you seems very strange to me; Having learned to read and write enough, we again turn to the alphabet and start with “A”. Delve into the teachings of St. fathers, almost all of them, not to mention especially some, what and how do they teach us patience with self-reproach? and they see in those who offend an instrument of God’s providence, working through it in the work of our salvation. Otherwise it is impossible to be and be saved; for God arranges this, through this he can comfortably endure and get rid of anger towards the offender and heal his passion. – And the one who offends must, in turn, watch himself, and reproach himself for having offended his neighbor, and repent before God and the brother offended by him; for he was prompted by a passion for not suffering anything from him and insulting him, which both will take advantage of through reconciliation; This is what happens in our hostels: they insult each other, are offended, humble themselves, and over time they heal from the violent part and become meek. And whoever considers himself an instrument of God to punish his brother, and does not reproach himself, then this can only be done by the boss and the spiritual father assigned by him to maintain decency, the judge and others like that; and others who are equal or who are in community with their neighbors, if they consider themselves to be an instrument of God and do not reproach themselves, then they will be subject to both here and eternal punishment, unless they turn around and repent. There were many torturers of the human race, wicked warriors, Tatars, Turks, etc., who were God’s instrument of punishment for human sins; They did not reproach themselves and did not consider themselves an instrument of God, but, of course, when they did not repent, they would not escape eternal punishment. From many teachings of St. Fathers I will show you only one thing: the chapter of Abba Dorotheus on the edification of virtues on the 92nd sheet. Read it, and this will suffice. – I. Macarius. It's nice to have comforting feelings; but it is dangerous not to get carried away into seduction and into an opinion about oneself; the enemy does not sleep to entertain proud thoughts; one must guard one's heart against arrogance. At that time, of course, we see our own thinness and unworthiness, and then hope for these feelings will appear. Until we acquire true humility, we are in trouble; Yes, we have not yet been cleansed by crying fear from passions; How dare we dream of tears of love? For God's sake, beware! The word about virginity that has delighted you, that the virgins sing a new song to the Lamb, be an encouragement to you to preserve your virginity both in body and spirit; but do not forget the parable of the ten virgins; let us strive to acquire the oil of mercy, love and humility in our hearts, imitating the wise virgins. The Most Holy Virgin Mother of God, even before the incarnation of the Son of God, sang the song: “For He has looked upon the humility of His servant.” This was sung in our mass today; and they sing at Matins every day. It occurred to me to write to you, and to remind myself how much humility we sinners need in order to receive the mercy of God, when the Most Honest Cherub, and the Most Glorious without comparison, Seraphim, was so humble: then what can we, sinners, do without humility? and therefore we will learn this art from cases, and not from words alone. You are looking for salvation, I believe that; Seek also humility, without it it is impossible to be saved; and how to look for it? searching is necessary and action is needed. You each want to have yourself as the last and worst sister, try and subordinate yourself to each other, and not be offended that she takes over me. The enemy offers and indignates something contrary to humility, but you overthrow him with humility, and God’s mercy will not be far from you. THEM. June 23, 1856. Reading your letter, I noticed some words: “He (God) sees my damned dispensation, that I am lacking in love for my sister, sees my constant struggle and the labor of my passions - and of course, all this is God’s determination.” But it seems to me that there is no decree of God for us to sin, but it is our will that acts; and the actions of passions and the work of fighting them are in our will; he allows the former, and helps in the latter, depending on the strength of our will and humility; and the definition refers to reward or punishment. I believe that the work of your struggle will not be in vain before God, only you need to add regret, repentance, and humility to the opposite actions. If you happen to offend your sister with words or some action because of your sister’s actions, you must regret this and come to terms with it, then in the struggle you will receive strength from God; but when, on the contrary, seeing only the black side in her, you look at her actions with humiliation, then you have no strength in the fight, and even more so the enemy strengthens it; This seems to be something you can see from experience. “From her letter I see that she, too, when defeated, has a strong struggle and compulsion. The Lord is strong in both of you, the exploits and compulsions to accept and destroy the power of the enemy and grant victory over him, as St. writes. Isaac in the 7th word. In your life of wealth, I see a special providence of God, leading you through the sorrows of your passions, and the feat against them to the good goal of salvation; and with your good resistance, self-reproach and humility. The Lord will crush all the forces of the enemy and give you peace. Otherwise, what would be the purpose of your community, which was organized according to your faith, through my badness? So, do not give up calling on God and the Most Pure Mother of God for help; they see your desire to be saved, and the shedding of your blood in this long-suffering feat will give you help; just don’t give a damn to the enemy who is trying to disturb your structure. Lord have mercy on you! Have mercy! You write that when you think about death, you feel fear; The fear of death is natural, but we should not be afraid of panic, but encourage ourselves with faith and hope in the goodness of God and in the merits of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. This we all know, that each of us must die; but when, God alone knows. And this is God’s predestination of when someone will die. If anyone dies, at any age, in youth or old age, or in middle age, then it is ordained for him by God; then you need to be calm about this, just reconcile your conscience with repentance and trustworthiness. No matter how long we live, we still have to die; whoever dies at a young age must believe that God so pleases, lest malice change his mind, or flattery deceive his soul. For the zeal of evil is darkened by a good one, and the fervor of lust is replaced by a kindly mind, says Scripture (Wis. 4:11, 12). And what is our life here and for the longest time against eternity? Like a drop that has sunk into the sea. Not knowing when any of us will come to eternity, we will ask the Lord that He will give us a Christian death, not shameful, peaceful and a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ. We also call on the Mother of God, the Queen of Heaven, asking for the death of the Christian: She, the merciful Lady, has mercy and saves all who call upon Her. Let us remain calm and undisturbed, trusting in the mercy of God; let us think that when we die in body, we pass only to eternal life with soul, and in due time the body will rise and unite with the soul. Why is he so afraid? We know that we will die, but we don’t know when: maybe you will live another twenty years; may God's will be done on us. Let us strive here to put off the old Adam and put on the New. The soil of our heart grows thorns; let us pluck them out every day and plant good things. Amen. I.M. I would like to say a few words about the absent-mindedness of your cell life, and the idle talk that happens, that it cools the heart and makes the soul vain, like St. Isaac writes and others; Yes, it seems that you are not ready for this, as I have heard from you more than once that the soul languishes from solitude; and this means internal warfare, for “silence (not to mention perfect, but according to your structure) kills external feelings, and raises internal movements to warfare; this creates an external communication that is contrary; that is to say, he exalts external feelings, but mortifies internal movements,” these are the words of St. Isaac. I do not limit you to complete silence, but to caution in dealing with your neighbors and keeping your tongue from unhelpful conversations. He writes: “Shut the door of the cell of the body and the door of the tongue of speech; and the inner door to the wickedness of spirits.” I just wanted to remind you of this, but I said a lot. I don’t want to put force on you and upset you, but I’m afraid to keep silent; I will give an answer for the fact that I seem to show good will towards this; but do not be led by need from me, but by a good will, and stimulate yourself to do good by reading the teachings of your fathers; and in the weakness and creeping that happens, humble yourself not with the edge of your tongue, but with the feeling of your heart, so that you will receive the guarantee of it (good deeds). Oh, if only this feeling would touch my stony heart! Woe to me, a sinner who speaks and does not do. Pray for me! Glory to God, who has given you such compassion for each other; May He help you, according to your good will, to actually fulfill your desired lifestyle. But you know this enough that the enemy, who hates goodness, will not cease to outrage you, with your passions and memories of previous incidents, and this, of course, is by God’s permission to test your good will, without which it cannot last; but you, remembering the past disastrous storm that brought you almost to drowning, be firm and immovable in your intention, adhere to love, humility and self-reproach, calling on God’s help; but He looks upon humility. How much I wrote to you during your stormy dispensation, but all my advice and entreaties had no effect on you; but from now on we will make a beginning. Where there is peace, there is God! and where there is enmity, there is opposition, from which may the Lord deliver you! I sincerely rejoice that the Lord consoles you by reading the writings of your fathers, and has given you some understanding of them; but we still cannot comprehend the depth of them, having done nothing good and not humbled ourselves, for “the sacraments are revealed to the humble.” You are still physically weak, and you do not boast spiritually, and you say that there is no spiritual fair for you; but I will say on the contrary - it happens, but you trade poorly, and you get little profit from your inattention: every sorrowful case, from someone: annoyance, humiliation, reproach, contempt and the like, is bargaining, and the confluence of many such cases is a fair: to trade, and to receive benefit from it, is in the will of everyone: to endure with self-reproach and humility and from this gain spiritual healing from passions; many gain, but many waste time, and are left not only without gain, but even with a loss. You write that you are worried about the thought of hopelessness about salvation, that having money seems like you cannot be saved: this is the obvious cunning of the enemy and his network, which does not give you peace and tranquility. Leaving behind the addiction to the love of money, tell me: can you live a completely non-covetous and beggarly life? Neither your strength, nor your education, nor your state of health will allow you to fulfill this, and God will not require anything that is higher than your strength; but avoid attachment to wealth and hope for it; also excesses in space and luxury; but live in accordance with your weaknesses, thank God, who has given you the provision of life, and humble your thoughts, just as Simeon of Euchaitis wrote to the monk John, who could not lay his foundation on complete renunciation of everything, and live among brothers in obedience, patience, etc. (209 pp. further to 213 from half the page “and yet this is nothingness” and so on); it is he who writes to the one passing through the silent path; but you can also apply it to yourself, who has not corrected your complete lack of wealth, and also reproach yourself, force yourself to the virtues shown to them there, and even more so to self-reproach and humility, as if you have done nothing good; and it will come to your salvation. Moreover, with your good will and desire to fulfill God’s commandments, He will help you and will not allow the enemy to overthrow you by his machinations, which he will of course not fail to erect against you; but with your resistance you will find God’s help. What I earnestly wish for you, I remain the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. November 10th, 1856. Praise be to God that your sisters have been endowed with the small monastic image; I have already congratulated them on this, and now I congratulate them again, and I wish them to have a feeling of this saving grace-filled effect on them, and to thank God, who has honored them with this betrothal to the angelic image. I am not surprised that N N took my advice to you personally, as if it were a political refusal in her approach to you. As if the enemy wants good and spiritual benefit? Her heart was confused, and this means that she accepted the enemy’s excuse to deprive her of her benefit. And where there is confusion, there is the enemy; where there is peace, there is God; Yes, I did not write about solitude, but curbing the tongue from idle talk and the harmful consequences of this, distraction and clouding of the mind; Reading will no longer be so pleasant after being absent-minded. You write that you thank God for allowing you to live in a monastery, and to put on the monastic image: of course, the Lord gave you this feeling, and you must thank His goodness. And before you mentioned that you read your father’s writings with attention and pleasure; all this is not ours, but this betrayal of the right hand of the Most High (Ps. 76:11) and what do we mean? Unbreakable slaves! If we try to cleanse our hearts from passions (and not act on them), then as we cleanse ourselves, the grace of God will open the eyes of our hearts to the vision of the true light; blessed are those who are pure in heart, for they will see God (Matthew 5:8), but only when they perfect themselves with humility, for the sacraments are revealed to the humble; but we, it seems, have not yet crossed the Red Sea of ​​Passions, and are not approaching Mount Sinai, where Moses saw God in a bush, and then accepted the law from God on the same mountain; but we are mostly in Egypt and in plywood making, forced by the mental Pharaoh to work for him and create cities of passions; but being burdened with this work, let us cry to the Lord, and He will send Moses to us, to lead us out of Egypt, and to free us from the work of the mental Pharaoh. THEM. November 11, 1856. Yesterday I received two letters from you. I accept your childish kindness towards me in congratulating me on my birthday and angel’s birthday, and on their celebration. I have no doubt at all about your affection and love for me in the Lord, although I truly am not worth it, looking at my badness. – I sincerely rejoice at the change in your dispensation, that is, protection from laughter, idle talk and blasphemy; but it must be noted that with this, arrogance, vanity, conceit and the fiercest pride do not creep into the heart, which blinds a person and does not allow him to “see his sins” and “have a contrite and humble heart.” If at the present time you are protected by God’s help from these stupid attempts, then you must remember how many times in the past you fell into the net of the enemy through many passions, and thereby humble yourself, always reproaching; and whatever your corrections may be, painless doing does not bring any benefit, just as a tree is dry and a tree is not fruitful; Elder Paisius taught his brethren about this, having collected the teachings of his fathers, as it is written in his life. And St. Peter of Damascus, according to the seven works of bodily virtues, says: “and then the mind begins to see its sins like the sand of the sea: and this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul, and a sign of its health; and considers himself truly less than everyone else,” and so on. I am writing to you as a warning so that arrogance does not creep in, even at the slightest abstinence from what is improper; for this is why we fall into various sorrows, through the action of our passions; We must remember: “where the fall followed, pride preceded it,” then the falls involuntarily humble us. Reading how painfully you suffered, I have human heartfelt compassion for you, and it’s also sad that I can’t give you any help or consolation. Take medical remedies in the hope of God’s help, and most importantly, strengthen your spirit with hope in the all-wise, loving, fatherly providence of God, who cares about the salvation of your soul, and for your short suffering, preparing for you an unfading crown of glory in eternity. Although it seems to us that illness in this life is severe and prolonged, what is it compared to eternity and pleasure in this life? Remember one monk who was faint-hearted in illness, and when an angel asked him what he wanted better: should he suffer here for one summer, or there (i.e., in hell) for three days, and go to the kingdom of heaven? and when he agreed to the latter, and only spent two days there in torment, dying: then it seemed to him a hundred years; and when the angel again appeared to him and said: there is still a day left to remain in torment - how can he agree to this? - otherwise it is possible to return to life again, because the body has not yet been buried; Then he said to the angel with grief: “What an angel you are, I have been suffering from terrible torment not for two days, but for a thousand years; then not only for one summer, but also for the rest of my life I am ready to suffer in illness just to be freed from the torment there.” This story can be edifying for us regarding patience with local illnesses. Strengthen yourself with faith; the most merciful Lord would not have allowed such suffering to happen to you if he had not seen your benefit; and then consider that not only the meagerness of our exploits, but also our constant sins, how can we compensate? And illness both rewards and prevents you from sinning. God's wondrous providence for our salvation is being accomplished! You also write that you are sad and hurt, that you are burdening those who diligently follow you; this also embarrassment can add to your illness: after all, wanting their salvation, they fulfill the commandment of God; and you want to prevent them; read about this in the book of Abba Dorotheus on page 220. And let those who serve you read there on pages 169 and 195 - what benefit comes from this service. I wish this letter finds you healthy and calm. Peace be with you! asking for God's blessing on you, I remain a great sinner I.M. November 29, 1856. I ask you, for the Lord’s sake, to calm yourself; you know where there is unpeace and confusion, the enemy is at work, and where there is peace, there is God; His place is in the world, says the psalmist (Ps. 75:3). Oh, woe to us! covered with fatherly books, sometimes we read, we are touched; and when battle comes, it’s as if we’ve never read it, and we don’t take up arms against the enemy. We have translated the advice of the mind to our soul, Mark the Ascetic, into Russian, but we also understand it in Slavic. I don't know what else to tell you? only that it is sad on all sides, and we are cramped from everywhere. Some, in their simplicity, think of me as a nurturer and mentor; and who did I teach? I show the light, but I am blinded by the eyes; I guide you on the path, but I myself wander, and I don’t know how to break out of this rut? I dream of leading the blind, where are we going? How can you not feel sorry for me, poor thing? Let us pray to the Lord to show His mercy to us, and, knowing the news of destinies, save everyone, and with them me, the impudent and impoverished one, and give us a Christian death, peaceful, not shameful, and a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ; For this, the church daily brings prayers to the Lord, and with it, let us each offer this prayer. Thank God that you are on your feet, and were in the church of God, enjoyed the service, and had consolation from this. May the Lord and Mother of God strengthen you and in these solemn, sacred days of the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the pre-feast days thereof, enjoy the spiritual joy of the glorious greatness of God and our salvation, according to the multitude of our illnesses, Your consolation will gladden my soul (Ps. 93:19). And you, in pain, thank the Lord, and remember that: the passions of this present time are unworthy for the glory that desires to appear in us (Rom. 8:18). And what joy the angels still proclaim to us here at the Nativity of Christ: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!” Accepting this merciful God's condescension and mercy towards us, we will try to maintain peace among ourselves; and in your small family may peace be established and may it continually be with you. You, conscious of yourself, humbly ask me for forgiveness; May God forgive you, I was not angry with you; but it was painful for me too to see your ardent, impetuous expression and unconsciousness, but later you realize your guilt, that like a person, you wrote in the heat of the moment: and it’s not so important what you wrote, but that you felt the excitement in yourself that was damaging you. God grant that this does not happen again. Only this is what is doubtful for me: you say 15 so as not to fragment your thoughts and not speak them; but what happened to you? I don't force; but be careful that the spark that could cause a fire, or in another sense, a cooling, would not ignite: hide one thought, it will hold back another, and then it is difficult to begin revelation. You say: you exclude the fact that when we entered the monastery, we were like children; and now they seem to have come to perfection? where is it when there is no peace? Maybe I’m wrong, as a person, forgive me, I don’t need you, I leave you to your will. I'm not a heart expert; What I know, I talk about, and what I don’t, I don’t do anything about. It’s like a charm that I think I can reason; far, far from this, even if you look at your sins and unworthiness, this is the reason for your dispensation. I need to read the 8th word of St. more often. Simeon the New Theologian: who can accept other people's thoughts. Woe to me, a sinner! The other day I was reading a book by St. Maxim about love, what precious grains of gold there are; honor her and you will find them, and they will be good for you for food and institutions of the soul. I will point out some small ones to you, you will find more on your own: 3rd centenary: chapters 73, 90; 4th centenary: chapters 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 and 38 and many others. I’m finishing up my mail, there are a lot of letters now, and even more are lying around; I don't know when I'll pay off my debts. It’s time, it’s time to leave and take some care of your soul, the end is unknown! I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. January 5, 1857. I congratulate you, beloved child of Christ, on this solemn holiday and on tomorrow’s day of your Angel. I wish you peace and health and spiritual consolation! Ten years ago, on your birthday, I gave you an icon - the Savior took a lamb on His frame - and all the time He took you from the world, brought you to the monastery and carries you to the Father, making your salvation through destinies incomprehensible to us. Thirty years of your life have been completed; May He carry you as much as He pleases until you achieve the much-desired salvation, admonishing, strengthening, punishing and comforting with His loving Fatherly spiritual consolation and enlightenment! Glory to His many mercy and bounties! Let us thank Him for everything. How shall we thank our Creator and Redeemer? Given our weaknesses and powerlessness, what shall we bring? If we cannot perform fasting, prayer, vigil, or other external bodily acts, we will no longer turn our thoughts to spiritual work, and more to humility and love, to which the Lord Himself encourages us, and St. The fathers in the scriptures teach, having done it themselves. I also recently read the 11th word of St. Simeon the New Theologian, just like you write, I read about repentance, and there I learned two words, and I decided to offer it to you: at the end of the 234th page and on the 235th: “When a person enters into the fear of God, that very fear of God causes him to be trampled upon by everyone. And when the completely proud and vain wisdom of his flesh wears out and crushes, then holy humility, a mental stone and the lightest and best attack from above, will expel all the moisture of carnal passions and pleasures, and will not show indecently the oppressed soul.” And a little higher, on page 222, he speaks of Adam’s justification when God convicted him: “For even now I am suffering, humble and damned, and I do not want to humble myself, and say from my heart: for I am guilty of my destruction, but onsitsa me, I say, compel me to do and say this and that; onsitsya with advice to do this and that” and so on. It is similar in the “council of the mind to the soul,” and St. There are many Maxims that I wrote to you about. Let us bring the work of humility and love to Christ, who will accept and save us! From your letters I see that you have a feeling of dislike for your sister, and you consider this your cross; but it is very unfair, for it does not happen from outside, but from within you. If you thought so, saw your sin, and not the cross; and when the cross is involuntary, it is no longer a sin. Where did you find this, and in what scripture is it? It seems to me from my self-reflection: your cross is your physical illness, and when it happens - spiritual gloom and burden. And this is not a cross at all; The Lord commanded us to have love among each other, everyone understands this, as My disciples are by nature, if you have love among yourself; (John 13:35), and all His commandments relate to the love of Him and His neighbor; and not only that, but he even commanded to love your enemies; and when we do not keep His loving commandment, then whose disciples can we be called! We know enough that without love all our works, deeds and virtues are nothing: then how can we consider the impoverishment of love for our sister as our cross? and not more by weakness and sin? In this case, you must look at yourself, repent and humble yourself, and force yourself to love; but there (in her letter) there is nothing of this. When will love come? This is what I saw in you, I wrote, and if you find it right - and it seems right - try to work in your heart, pluck out the tares and plant good seeds. I ask you, for the Lord’s sake, do not take this as an offense and do not be upset with me, who tells you the truth. Who will tell you more if I keep silent? – I. Macarius, February 2, 1857. You consoled me a lot with your letters, from which I see your feelings dissolved in peace and harmony for your sister; what is this from? Out of self-reproach, God visited you there; If you always base your salvation on this, then you will be strengthened by humility. And how hard it was for me to hear, and for you to actually fulfill, the violent indignation of your passions, from pride and self-justification, which were powerful. Thank God that He gave you such a complacent feeling, and you saw peace in yourself; but one should not rely on its strength, but one must be prepared to resist the arrows of the evil one; he will not cease to wage war; and if we make a slight mistake, withdrawing from humility, then it overcomes us. When we are in the natural dispensation, then we see ourselves as guilty, and not others; and when in the supernatural, we see others and seduce with them. May the Lord forgive you for being offended by me; If I denounced you, it was out of a tightness of heart, and slightly regretting to offend, but God forbid this to happen in the future. Peace be with you! My heart hurts about your illness, may the Lord heal you! February 26th, 1857. Thank God that you arrived safely at your monastery and were pleasantly greeted by your sister; I rejoice in this from the bottom of my heart, and I pray to the Lord that he will look upon your good will on both sides and pray to maintain peace among yourself, which is necessary in your sociable life for salvation. In describing your consolation upon arrival at the monastery, I also sensitively and tearfully participate in your joy, which you received, by the grace of God and His Most Pure Mother, who deigned you to meet Her most honorable icon. Everything, everything seems good, and pleasantly gives hope for calm, but sometimes the silence of the sea is a harbinger of a storm, and if there is no self-reproach and humility between you and you, then what will happen? the enemy does not sleep, but will try by all means to outrage you. ABOUT! May the Lord look upon your good will and help you to abolish all the intrigues and passions of the enemy! It is impossible without temptation, for every good deed is tempted by the contrary; then our true will is known, and the action of our passions is shown to us, and do we fight against them? “How can I fight, and what is my passion? I see that my sister is doing something wrong; But how many weaknesses I have, I don’t see: impatience, zeal, self-love and many others, and I just see a mote in my sister’s eye, but I don’t see a log in myself.” It was I who wrote what could happen to you, and how to restrain yourself; and yet I myself am an incapable slave! Woe to me, a sinner! I thank you for the feeling of love in the Lord for my badness, expressed by you in your letter; but I am not worth this, and I am afraid that the praise, veneration and love of my neighbors, who are truly my best, will not be condemned. Pray to the Lord for me. From your letter I see that you maintain peace and harmony with your sister, and that the feeling of self-preservation and forcing oneself to do good brings into the soul a kind of quietness, goodness and consciousness of one’s sinfulness. May this knowledge continue to be a sign for you: where there is peace and silence, there is the coming of God’s grace, and where, on the contrary, there is confusion, zeal, contempt for one’s neighbor, etc., then the action of the enemy, with the deprivation of God’s grace. And it is known, know that the cause of this is not our neighbor’s shortcomings, but our structure and negligence about correction and forcing ourselves to do better. In this case, we will always have a need for self-reproach to appeal to a sense of humility. When you were angry with your sister for her incongruous actions, it’s good that you quickly reproached yourself and calmed down, but if you had given free rein to your conclusions, you would have suffered a lot; Our judgments about others may not always be right; and if they are right, then, of course, they do not see this. The opposite happens to us: others see us, but our pride hides the dark side from us, and when you look at yourself, you will see that we are far from what we should be; What shall we say about virtues? Let us pray to God: “Lord, King, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother!” and may the Lord grant us the rest of the time to pass through in repentance and achieve a Christian death, painless, shameless, peaceful and a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ! The church pronounces these petitions 4 times daily, urging us all to this tender and important petition. Lord have mercy! Peace be with you! THEM. September 16, 1857. Having written to you in general, and especially wanting to talk: you describe what the enemy is doing to you in his thoughts against your sister; His goal is to create indignation between you, and you, through self-reproach and the desire for peace, abolish his intrigues. This is known, as I wrote to you, that the enemy will not cease to cause confusion to both of you, presenting each person’s weaknesses not as his own, but as the other’s; and to see your own rightness. You know that humility alone can crush all the forces of the enemy; and if you trust your truth, then the world cannot work out, so what’s the use of that truth? What she explained to you about the abuse and embarrassment she found, she also writes to me, and sees that without any reason on your part. Is this not obvious abuse and the machinations of the enemy, causing indignation; but thank the Lord that through explaining it to you, it was destroyed from her, and you do not accept this, that she spoke with some other intention: this is also a plot of the enemy, in order to cause confusion for you too. There are such confusions - without any guilt we cannot find peace, and humility abolishes even this. - I see on both sides in you a desire to preserve peace, but is this pleasant for the enemy? He will use all his strength and measures to disrupt your peace. For God’s sake, I beg you, stand firm and immovable in this battle, and God will crush the machinations of the enemy. Remember how much indignation there was on both sides, and that you both suffered; thank God for allowing you to emerge from this burden. Bear each other's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ. (Gal.6:2). I’m not as good at writing letters as you are: so I was torn away on these lines for quite some time, and a lot of thought was lost that should have been expressed on this charter. I will now say in response to your last letter: God bless you for the memory of the 47 years I spent in the monastery; but you unnecessarily attribute to me an undoubted notification of salvation; I have no doubt in the mercy of the Lord that with His help and strengthening I lived so much time in the monastery; but how much I sinned at this time, and all the days of my life, it was only God’s long-suffering and His goodness that hitherto condescended to my repentance; but fortunately I have done nothing, no monastic feats, no humility, no abstinence; and other active labors and virtues are alien; and I do not have spiritual fruits, then what can I boast about, and what can I rely on? I know my iniquity and take away my sin before me (Ps. 50:5). My only hope is in the ineffable mercy and love of God; He does not want the sinner to die, and is able to give me repentance, for which the Church of Christ prays daily: “We ask the Lord to end the rest of our life in peace and repentance.” “The Christian death of our belly is painless, shameless, peaceful, and we ask for a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ.” And I, a sinner, pray for this with our Mother, the Orthodox Church, and I place my only hope in God’s mercy, in the merits of our Savior, in the shed forth of His Most Pure Blood, which washed away the sins of the whole world; I pray to Him that He will cleanse my countless sins. He is the lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world (John 1:29). This is our hope as sinners; – we will not despair, we will not listen to the enemy who compels us to do so. And do not despair, but always remembering your sins, humble yourself and bring repentance before the Lord, remembering the widow who begged and the unjust judge (Luke 18:3, 4, 5), since your Heavenly Father will give good things (salvation) to those who ask Him (Matt. 7:11). You write that “reading about the three types of prayer of St. Simeon the New Theologian, thought about her dispensation, compared her actions with the properties that those undergoing prayer should have, but did not see how far you are from them, but thought that you performed it according to your strength, but there was no prayer; great blindness - and I’m not a little surprised at this.” To write about this would require several sheets of writing, but I have very little time; read in the 14th and 15th chapters of Callistus and Ignatius, and in the 10th word of the second book of Peter Damascus, “about the virgin telling the old man about her temptations,” what he demanded from her; Think about whether our life is consistent with those who want to undergo prayer? It is higher than all works, “as God’s love is, and whoever boldly and arbitrarily dares to call upon it is allowed to fall into the hands of enemies and is killed by them,” writes St. Gregory of Sinai, and St. Isaac the Syrian in the 2nd word: “the wrath of God comes on such; and like one who went up into the palace in filthy garments, they will be cast out.” Prayer requires most of all humility, which is acquired by trying to fulfill God’s commandments, at the sight of one’s weakness; demons heavily arm themselves against those going through prayer, and only this weapon counters and overthrows them. Pray simply, and the Lord gives prayer to the one who prays (1 Samuel 2:9), and will also give mental prayer, according to the word of St. Peter of Damascus. So, do not be cowardly about this, but humbly have wisdom and you will find salvation; read more from St. Bapconufiya vp. and from. 79th, it also belongs to this. You write that you grieve for the newly introduced rule and are thinking of not following the rule and refusing to read; because you cannot destroy it; but if you resist, you will be considered a rebel. If this were some kind of heresy and the orthodoxy was violated, then it would be necessary to stand against it, but since this is an average matter and does not violate the tenets of faith, then sometimes you can walk, and sometimes not; and to refuse to read the rules, if it is really difficult, then you can humbly ask to be fired. Remember the words of the wise Gamaliel: if this work is not from God, then it will be ruined; and if... from God... then you will not find those who fight against God (Acts 5:39). Be wise like a serpent and purposeful like a dove. (Matthew 10:16). Asking for God's blessing on you, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, much-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. October 24, 1857. A few words to you: you write that you were consoled while standing at mass by a spiritual visitation. Glory to God, who visits you in illness and sorrow; however, do not get carried away in opinion, but descend into the depths of humility, considering yourself unworthy of it; Of course, it will not remain like this: it will either precede or be followed by temptation, like a flame burning the passion of vanity. Remember how many, enjoying spiritual gifts and imagining themselves, lost them; like the one who received food from the angel and the other, whose mind was raptured into heaven in prayer and was in tears, after everything he lost for his opinion. And Jacob himself, the faster (March 4th), whom you bring disasters, fell from nothing other than from heaping up. “You will not believe that you have fallen asleep from passions until you enter the city of humility,” writes St. Isaac. Reading about the fall of Jacob, you were horrified with fear for yourself; but whoever is afraid of sins will get rid of them; security is much more terrible. Although the fall of Jacob is great, it is not carried away, but like a robber attack; but when gradually someone gets carried away and passion occurs, so on. e. affection, God forbid! Then the heart is given into captivity by the enemy, and will not soon think about abandonment and repentance. May the Lord protect you! I. M. August 1, 1858. Beloved sister in the Lord! Of course you like this greeting, but I can’t always write it, I know that you are already confident in my disposition and love for you in the Lord, the fruit of which is the desire to save you; That’s why I don’t spare myself, but I try to respond to your letters, either especially or in general, to offer what I find necessary from the paternal writings; I dare not say, because of my deeds: I am poor and wretched (Ps. 85:1) from youth to old age, and became rich in evil; but for the sake of your benefit, and for the sake of your prayers, the Lord will have mercy on me, a sinner! Today I received your letter; you write that you have been feeling some kind of unaccountable sadness for many days, nothing is occupying your mind, and you can barely restrain yourself from tears and sobs. You don’t know whether this is a temptation for you and whether it’s a proper monastic feeling? You think about your infertility, having spent eleven years in the monastery, etc.; I believe this is a temptation for you after the comforting actions that were given to you, during the former ministry, and the joyful time spent in the cell. ABOUT! How much then did you bring thanks to the Lord, who delivered you from the vanity of the world and brought you to the monastery to serve Him; here nothing bothered you, neither passions, nor thoughts, nor the memory of your weak dispensation. But is it really useful to remain in such a dispensation? The consolation is taken away and the cross appears, weighing down and tormenting the soul. To have a feeling and to be painful about your badness and uncorrection should not be in the same way as you write; Painlessness is not approved by the holy fathers: John Climacus, Gregory of Sinai and Simeon the New Theologian. Morbidity gives rise to contrition of heart and humility, from which comes trustworthiness, but you had something contrary; but thank God it has passed; in the continuation of the letter you do not mention this. You remembered Mary of Egypt, what her will was and how she changed herself for the love of God. Saint Climacus writes: “It is good to be amazed at the saints, but to reach them soon is insane.” Much can be found to strengthen oneself in such temptations from John of Carpathia, from St. Callista and Ignatius, chapter 43, and others. “One must neither dare nor despair,” according to the words of St. Peter of Damascus, “whether anything be good or evil, do not seek the high, but be humble.” Remember that monk whom the elder forced to eat bread, drink wine and eat meat for ten days, and apply it to yourself; Isn’t that why you suffered because you were looking for the high ones? Remember that hope will not put you to shame. There is another glory to the sun and another glory to the moon, another glory to the stars, and the stars are not equal, one is brighter, and the other is barely visible, so it will be in the resurrection (1 Cor. 15:40, 41). What height do we need? At least not to lose God’s mercy and not fall away from the embrace of humility! I remain the desirer of your salvation, great sinner I. Macarius. August 27, 1858. So you saw in yourself a living lesson of your weakness, and how dangerous it is to give freedom to your senses: sight, hearing, verbs, touch, and others; The mind receives impressions from them and transmits them to the heart, but the heart, captivated, forgets its duty. So what? In the most reverent standing before the icon of the Lady, she could not cut off her will, giving freedom to her gaze; This is where it would be necessary to use the authority of the mind over the feelings - not to look; cut off your desire in this and suffer a little illness without fulfilling the will to look. From the small it reaches to the great.... St. Dorotheus writes: “the enemy does not force you directly to sin, does not say: go commit fornication, kill; but is attracted by small things: what of this, what will I look at? or will I be offended? and so on. And after that another temptation of thought was presented to you by hearing; all this, of course, is allowed to be tempted by autocratic will, but agreement with it comes from a prideful pledge. “Where there is a fall, pride precedes it,” the words of St. John Climacus. How can we take care to acquire humility in deeds, words and thoughts? otherwise we sometimes get carried away with our opinions about our intelligence, chastity, and so on. By the memory of our sins and folly, let us attract this queen of virtues to us! I.M. September 23, 1858. I sincerely regret for you that you often have sorrowful clashes with each other, which, given your pain, upset you even more. If it were in my power to turn this away from you, then of course I would do it, but since we each have autocracy ourselves, the Lord does not force us, but allows us to do as we choose. And besides, we carry within ourselves the guarantee of our own passions, then the Lord allows them to be exposed to us through others, so that we can try to heal them. We all know this: but when it gets to the point, we forget and are tormented by our neighbors, but when we are sobered up from passion, we see this truth clearly. I am writing this not so that I want to accuse you, but to strengthen me, so that I can see this providence of God in action, healing our passions, and through self-reproach attracting His help. I wrote to both of you that I found it necessary, and separately I also write that it is appropriate for each. In the inclination of your thoughts, about which I wrote, may the Lord forgive you and give you the strength to resist it in the future; - it is obvious that he is allowing your humility, despite all your pain, to fight you in this way. But I am sure that the root of your mind is firmly established on acquiring for yourself the purity dear to the angels, and it is true that after a stormy thought combined with an excuse, you sting your heart with painful regret and humility; but the struggle and battle for exaltation is allowed, as you yourself know. You keep doubting your illness and are afraid of death. The Lord is merciful! He called you to salvation and will arrange it, I believe. Do not fear death as if it were some kind of horror; whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s (Rom. 14:8), and that we are sinners, there is repentance for that. Christ came to save sinners, we must feel our sinfulness and not rely in any way on our correction or merits; but, having condemned ourselves as worthy of punishment, let us imagine the merits of our Savior, who took away the sins of the whole world, and He will also have mercy on us for the sake of His mercy, and not for the sake of our merits. We see so many examples of sinners saved through repentance, and this should lead us to God’s love and humility. Do not be afraid of bleeding, as if through it you will not receive salvation; Dosifei, a disciple of Abba Dorotheus, having this, received salvation. Why are you making yourself so sad, maybe you will live a long time for the glory of God. Let us surrender ourselves to the will of God, He will arrange what is beneficial for us, as He pleases. The Feast of the Nativity is approaching; it seems you are preparing for St. Secrets; then you should not deprive yourself of this great gift of God, which cleanses our sins and enlightens our souls. What I fervently wish for you, much-sinful I.M. December 9, 1858. Beloved, O Lord, daughter! Today I received your letter, after strong feverish paroxysms, written with a weak hand. I thank you for your work in writing and I accept your childish compassion and love for my thinness. Be sure of my disposition and love for you in the Lord, and accept my desire for your speedy relief and complete recovery. I hear that you are worried that death is approaching? I advise you to put aside this cowardice and completely surrender to the will of God. You know that death is destined for each of us from God; when someone dies, we will not die either before or after that appointment; but to whom and when this transition from one life to another is assigned is unknown to anyone except God; but we need to ask, as our mother church asks: “Let us end the rest of our life in peace and repentance, we ask the Lord. We ask for a painless, shameless, peaceful Christian end to our life and a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ.” But the continuation of life here is not our business to decide: no matter how long you live, you still need to go home to our eternal home; After all, we are guests here, not real residents, and our fatherland is forever there. And what can seduce us in this life? We see disorder and unrest throughout the world and in particular; and what else awaits us ahead, God knows! So today, whoever leaves here with repentance and in the hope of a future life is blessed. I wrote this to you so that you would be calm and not be horrified by death, which can be an obstacle to recovery when you are worried; but I wish you to live and visit us, see each other and enjoy the fresh spring air. I remain the sinful I. Macarius. Peace be with you! be healthy and calm. March 21, 1859. I’m writing you a few special lines; When you came to think about the past time of your life, you became bitter about the poverty of your deeds and the uncertainty of the future. Your sad thought could not calm down. In relying on our works, can we find peace? The mercy of God and the merits of our Savior Jesus Christ are our only hope; and the consciousness of our weakness and badness leads us to humility and repentance, and “humility forgives many sins besides deeds,” according to the words of St. Isaac (41 words). Read before the conversations Rev. Zosima, how can anyone be saved: “asking: if anyone commits great sins” and further: “then the question is asked.” In them you will find great spiritual intelligence, leading to hope for salvation (in the Rapturous Classes). In the 89th word of St. Read Isaac about heart disease, from which we lose it; and we need it, even if we have things to do. THEM. April 2, 1859. Today I received your letter; you write about the action of your passions, “you often sin with your tongue, which without the participation of the heart extends to caustic remarks from your sister, caustic ironies and hints, which of course insults your sister.” It’s good that you recognized yourself in this and ask for forgiveness before her - there is hope for correction. But for the first time I see such a consciousness in you, although it was sometimes, but in a different way, in outbursts and discord; They went through sobering from passions. And this is a different kind of action: it is not without the participation of the heart, but a pledge in the heart lying against it, and in small cases expressed in language. Put yourself in her place, how would you accept it? I tell you about self-reproach, patience and humility, and I receive feedback from your efforts about this, and every day I see from letters that you are peaceful with each other; where is that one? out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks! (Matthew 12:34), and if there were peace there, then the mouth would speak the same, and no rotten word would come from them, wounding the conscience of one’s neighbor. You deceive yourself into a peaceful arrangement towards her, deprive yourself of it, perhaps thinking about her shortcomings with others; and not seeing any resistance, you become more confirmed in your opinion, and of course the thought sinks in: I am not like other people... or like this (Luke 18:11). It is this inner Pharisee who, on occasion, comes out in sarcastic barbs and ironies. Tell me, am I telling the truth? Why did I write this? not hurting you, but reproaching you out of love; and knowing that you will accept reproof not as the wicked, but as the wise: reprove the wise, and he will love you. Give wine to the wise, and he will be wise, and so on. ( Proverbs 9:8, 9 ). I forgive you in everything, since even more so the most merciful Lord, who promised forgiveness to the repentant, will forgive; but I am writing this to you, showing you your structure, so that you can pay attention to correcting it; and as you write that you have a good will to correct yourself, then the Lord will send you His help, which is what I earnestly wish for you, sinful Hieromonk Macarius. May 13, 1859. Of course, you understand how painful it is for me, reading the detailed description of the sorrowful encounters that took place during your journey; although all this has passed and peace is established between you at the present time; but whether it will be strong in the future, I don’t know. You, describing the anxieties that existed between you, do not want me to remember them in a general letter; I will do this, but what is the purpose of this? For everything that is revealed is light, but everything that is hidden is darkness (Eph.5:13; John 3:20, 21). You both know your faults, but you don’t want to say; Is it because you don’t want to admit your guilt and reproach yourself? and if justification remains in the heart, then again, at the first indignation, the memory of former worries will be resumed, and will give strength to the enemy to increase your confusion; and when the hostile pledge is completely destroyed by self-reproach and humility, then the former enemy will not bother you. In such a holy place, in a prayerful mood and preparation for the Holy Sacraments, the enemy had the power to sway you with your passions; why is this? Is it because they did not have self-reproach and humility, but indulged in the actions of passions: self-love, pride and irritability? The prayer to God, create a pure heart in me, O God (Ps. 50:12), had no power, because you did not even think about watching your heart yourself and cutting off the fighting passions at the beginning of the reasons, until they are small and grow to gigantic ages; and they themselves did not purify their own hearts; and could you present them to prayer without resentment, when enmity continued between you even before the thunderstorm that struck you with fear, and before your arrival at the monastery? And as you repent of this, despise yourself and blame yourself, then the Lord is able to grant you forgiveness, and I, a sinner, forgive you. And forward I beg you, for the Lord’s sake, to cleanse your heart from passions, as the holy fathers teach us. I wrote this without reproaching you; but reminding them to protect themselves from such cases in the future. May the God of love and peace protect you from all the snares and snares of the enemy, and arrange your salvation - I earnestly wish you, the many-sinner I. Macarius. “Grant me to see my sins, and not condemn my brother.” When we see our sins, our neighbor’s shortcomings are insignificant in comparison with them. September 19, 1859. I have just received your letter; and after reading yours, my heart was very sad that before we had time to arrive at the monastery to reconcile and calm down, suddenly again a strong splinter pierced into your soul. This is how fragile your world is, and although you write at the end of the letter that your heart has calmed down and you are completely at peace with your sister; but until the memory of past insults to each other is completely destroyed, and self-esteem is not killed by humility, one cannot hope to have peace. Let's consider a case that worried you: “you involuntarily heard words that offended you”; why not others? Apparently God’s providence allowed you to hear them, but not so that you would be offended, but so that you would know your structure: how weak and proud you are still; which is otherwise so respected: “offended pride”; as if for this reason he has the right and reason to be offended? And this is the seed of the enemy, drowning and destroying all the fruits of virtues. God sent you to hear this word to consider yourself: “Is there really something in my character that others are burdened with?” and they condescend to me because of my weakness and illness, and through this I am deprived of healing from passions? and delving into the depths of my heart, of course I would find something like that and would not think: I will hear what the Lord says about me (Ps. 84:9). This means you already have a clear conscience; but we still need reproof from our neighbors about our dispensation: are we not “rotten bread: clean on the outside, but rotten on the inside!” or don’t we think: “barking dogs” (Abba Dorof. 7th). “It seems that I wrote to you about this in order to consider myself.” I am writing to you not wanting to offend, but to give wine to spiritual wisdom; and don’t doubt my love for you in the Lord. I wish you peace and love! and I remain the sinful Hieromonk Macarius. September 23, 1859. According to ed. 1840 (in the Philokalia) part III, p. 18. See the epilogue to the book by Rev. Nile of Sorsky page XLII Philokalia Part 3, p. 18. (according to the 1840 edition). Philokalia. Part 4, p. 51 (according to the 1840 edition). that is, containing other things To her and under No. 39, 40, 41 and 43 Sl. word from helmsman, stern, - to manage, to guide spiritually See in the Philokalia of St. Simeon the New Theologian on three types of prayer These letters from No. 73 to 185 were written by the elder to one of his dear nieces. These letters from No. 185 to No. 297 were written to the sister who cohabits with the one to whom the letters from No. 74 to No. 185 were written. This collection is included in volume 2 (letters to monks) That is, it is not possible to explain all the conflicting thoughts in detail.