Letters to a Pious Christian Woman

Contents Instead of a preface Letters from Hieroschemamonk Macarius Letter 1. Peace of mind cannot be strong without humility, and humility cannot be without temptations. Temptations are needed. Undistracted prayers are the work of perfect ones. There is no need to be embarrassed, but to humble yourself before this. Rule for the Laity Letter 2. The necessity and benefits of fighting passions and temptations. Which is beyond measure. Doing the commandments. The danger of arrogance. See your sins. Humble prayer. Fast food. Impatience with Humility Letter 3. The enemy's action is due to our pride. Despair. Elevation. The property of mercy. What to pray for? The Prudent Mean Letter 4. Humility from reading the books of our fathers. Rituals. Icons and relics. Boredom. Cross. Don't believe dreams. On Vows Letter 5. Is it possible to break fasts out of necessity? About reasoning. About arrogance. Is it possible to receive communion twice during Lent? How to avoid embarrassment during confession? There is humility in everything. About reading foreign books. Why sometimes does God not fulfill our prayers? About Lutherans. How to raise children in Orthodoxy? Letter 6. Until the end of life it is a struggle. Hence humility. Seeing your sins. Human praise deprives of reward. Is it possible to read the akathist while sitting at work? The benefits of sorrows. On admonishing servants Letter 7. The benefits of seeing your sins. About raising children. Don't take them to the theater. About reading father's books. Meat food. About exploits. Difference of thoughts. Falling from pride happens Letter 8. About irritability. About indecision. Don't hide your thoughts at all. Signs of secret pride and vanity. Damage from embarrassment. The beginning of the health of the soul. The purpose of life is to help others in strength in humility Letter 9. It is impossible to stand without falling. Letter 10 should follow the middle - humble path. Patience is commanded, but this is impossible without insults. The benefits of temptation. Why the confusion? The Lord protects babies. When and how to ask for forgiveness from the offended? About bowing Letter 11. There are no good deeds without temptations. Why and for what purpose? Letter 12. Peace of mind in faith. About love. Don't be ashamed of the sign of the cross. What is the mark of the devil? About reading the canons. About the communion of children. On petition in prayers Letter 13. The need for revelation and advice. The harm of human praise. The purpose of prayer is humility. Don't believe dreams. About dating. Confession of already confessed sins. You shouldn't bow in church. About judgmental conversations Letter 14. On enduring insults Letter 15. On raising children in the fear of God Letter 16. Don't be ashamed to admit your shortcomings. About bows. Is it permissible for lay people to wear rosaries? How to correct the shortcomings of young people Letter 17. God sees our will. Don't be embarrassed by the opinions of others. How to deal with incorrect judgments about Faith? Letter 18. About gathering for the monastery. It's scary to die! Letter 19. Responsibilities of recipients. About the use of money. About dancing and cards. On Predestination Letter 20. About women's monasteries. The need for temptation. Do not seek warm prayer: this is a gift from God; consider yourself unworthy of it. Humility is a great good Letter 21. After joy, wait for sorrow. God accepts the prayer of the humble. What to do when there is no one to consult with? With humility, make up for the lack of doing God’s commandments. About reckless vows. About life insurance Letter 22. Recognizing your unworthiness when receiving the Holy Mysteries, you should not be embarrassed by this, but should humble yourself. Prayer without humility leads to delusion Letter 23. What to do when you cannot fulfill two commandments at the same time? Self-reproach calms us, but blaming others deprives us of peace. About undistracted prayer. You must have humility in everything These letters belong to the pen of the blessed Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Macarius, who reposed in the Lord in 1861, and who, as is known, during his ascetic life was the leader and mentor of many seeking salvation in all layers of contemporary Russian society. May the reading of these letters serve as a soul-saving indication for some, where and in what one can find spiritual peace and tranquility, among the worries of the world; resolution of questions and perplexities that very naturally occur to every Christian soul that wants to listen to itself and live piously; and on the other hand, may they serve as a reproach for those of the people of our educated society who, apparently seeking to satisfy their spiritual needs, rush without reasoning into the arms of newly invented teachings, now rushing to spiritualistic séances, now touched by the ravings of Redstock and his Russian followers, whom one of the modern pious men of experience rightly called “easily saved” according to the main dogma of their teaching: you believe - but therefore, you are already saved, nothing more is needed from you, forgetting the word of Christ: “He who loves Me keeps My commandments” (John 14:21), and the word of the Apostle James: “faith without good works is dead” (James 2:26), as well as the word of Saint Cyprian: “Whoever does not have the Church as a mother cannot have God as a father.” The beloved disciple of Christ, Saint John the Theologian, warns the faithful not to listen to those preaching a different teaching, saying: “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but tempt the spirits if they are from God: for many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1). He who has ears to hear, let him hear! It confuses our so-called educated people that, according to our liberal press, our sectarians supposedly live better than the Orthodox: they drink less, manage their households better, pay taxes more regularly, etc. To this, we also note that one smart person said about the Lutherans in general: “they have gold - the word of God, they have silver - people of natural good morals, but this gold and silver is diluted with a very large proportion of the ligature of human self-willed wisdom, so that for such abuse they will not avoid answering before God, in whose eyes even a proud righteous person is worse than a repentant sinner; they unjustly do not submit and resist the Church of Christ, contrary to the commandment of the Lord Himself: “If the church disobeys, you will be like a pagan and a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17) and do not listen to the teachings of the holy Apostles and their successors, shepherds and teachers of the Church, also contrary to the word of God spoken to them: “Listen to you, he listens to Me, and reject you, He brushed aside; But if you reject Me, you will reject Him who sent Me” (Luke 10:16). Not following the teachings of the Orthodox Church, they divided into 70 sects with very different views. The errors of Lutherans and Protestants in general, including Russian sectarians, Stundists and Baptists, are well and thoroughly exposed in the book “The Stone of Faith” by the Most Reverend Stefan Yavorsky, a book that constitutes, so to speak, the testament of old Rus' in the era of its transformation - the new. This covenant can be briefly expressed as follows: “Sons of the Russian Orthodox Church, keep your faith, like the apple of your eye, and according to the admonition of the Apostle: “Do not attach yourself to teachings that are strange (heterogeneous) and different (schismatic, sectarian), and so you will be saved! “This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith” (Heb. 13:9; 1 John 5:4). Letters of Hieroschemamonk Macarius Letter 1. Peace of mind cannot be strong without humility, and humility cannot be without temptations. Temptations are needed. Undistracted prayers are the work of perfect ones. There is no need to be embarrassed, but to humble yourself before this. Rule for the laity Most Reverend N.N. We sincerely thank you for your and your husband’s visit to our monastery. Your pious disposition towards our monastery remains a monument to us; and upon your return to ... you visited my honor with your letter sent on August 7th. That you have found peace and consolation in our monastery, the Lord has granted this, according to your faith and zeal for seeking the Kingdom of God and its truth; but in the field of life and in dealing with people one cannot always remain in such a state of mind. Passions have not yet been exterminated in us, but lie hidden, and the troubles they inflict on us in conflicts with our neighbors, with God’s permission, show us that our structure is still weak, and that we have not yet reached the measure of fulfilling God’s commandments; and therefore we must have a struggle with our passions, and recognizing our weakness, disdaining ourselves and reproaching ourselves, we must humble ourselves, but not be embarrassed for not achieving what we want, and not at all reproach others who show us our structure. Humility attracts God's mercy and help to us in our affairs. The spiritual consolation you have received cannot remain unchanged for long: it is sent from time to time to strengthen us in temptations; those who have achieved humility enjoy it longer, but, however, the grace of God also visits them with temptations as they arise, so that they do not become exalted by receiving spiritual consolations. How much more do we, weaklings, demand the fire of temptation, which burns the thorns of our passions. Upon your arrival in ..., you were met with sorrow - and this is not surprising; This is how God’s Providence arranged it, to your temptation and knowledge of your weakness, and from this to humility, as I wrote to you above. The fact that you defended your spouse before those accusing him with partiality is clearly your weakness, but you should not be embarrassed for it and be cowardly, but reproach yourself for deviating into the passion of anger, humble yourself and repent before God, and in the future be more generous in your defense if something like this happens. Every case should be our teacher in experience. You are embarrassed that during prayer you cannot collect your thoughts, but you are scattered: praying without entertainment is the work of the perfect, but we, weak and in a struggle (with passions), must collect our wandering thoughts and humble ourselves when we find thoughts, and not be embarrassed at all, for confusion gives the enemy the strength to arm ourselves more against us, and humility drives him away. And if we always had pure prayer without distraction, then again we would not be able to escape vain and proud thoughts from the humble enemy. Remember that God accepts the prayer of the humble. Write that it is difficult to pray at home; this requires compulsion; does a special home activity distract from this? Ask, what prayers should you assign for each day? Without knowing your home relationships, activities and strengths, I cannot say for sure; and if it’s convenient for you, I suggest: in the morning, read morning prayers, and when you have time, read kathisma or one chapter; in the evening - prayers for those coming to bed, and during the day, in the morning or evening, a canon to the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel; on Saturday - an akathist to the Mother of God, and on Sunday an akathist to Jesus, the Apostle and the Gospel chapter by chapter and several bows, and all this is done with humility, not thinking that I am doing well, as the Pharisee thought. In case of failure to fulfill something due to some obstacles or even from laziness, do not be embarrassed, do not lose heart or lose heart, but humble yourself and consider yourself least of all. May the Lord strengthen you in all your good intentions and deeds, and in the struggle against present sorrows and your passions, and may He give you true spiritual reason. Letter 2. The necessity and benefit of fighting passions and temptations. Which is beyond measure. Doing the commandments. The danger of arrogance. See your sins. Humble prayer. Fast food. Impatience with Humility You, most respected N.N., ask permission not to stop your correspondence with me; I dare not only forbid you, but also anyone, from writing to me, although I am weak and feeble-minded and am often guilty of a slow or unsatisfactory response. Please write as you please, but do not blame my unreasonable answers; I believe that it is beyond my measure and reason to take on this matter; but I only hope that God is able to instruct those who demand by faith what to write. And a simple word, unadorned by floridity, whoever accepts it with faith, the help of God, will receive benefit; and therefore it is necessary to both feel and say: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory” (Ps. 113:9). You want to maintain concern for the salvation of your soul, which, apparently, you are actually doing; say that there is a continuous struggle going on within you, and every day new shortcomings appear; Yes, this is necessary in the feat of a Christian: we are in battle against the spirits of evil, they fight us with our own passions. We are sometimes defeated and overcome, we fall and rise, and as we humble ourselves we receive God’s help. This powerful weapon against enemies is necessary for us. But how can we reconcile ourselves when, through our shortcomings, we do not recognize our weakness? They are the ones who humble us. Read in the 1st part of the Philokalia by St. Gregory of Sinaite in the 17th chapter, at the end of it: “Unless a person is defeated... he cannot humble himself.” It is written in detail and very useful. I notice in you that you want to live in the world like a hermit’s life, without falling, and so that your soul is always with God, and you ask the question: “Is it possible in the world to reach such a state in which you can cut off your desires, as in solitude? And how to start such a business? And at the same time, in response, we received strong resistance to your good intentions; and you, not having spiritual strength and humility, cannot resist in them. This means that you are undertaking or wishing to accomplish a feat in your life beyond your measure and structure. We must begin by doing the commandments of God, commanded to us in the Gospel, and while trying to fulfill them, seeing our efforts and weaknesses, we must not be embarrassed at all, but humble ourselves and repent. And even if you walked the path of God’s commandments unswervingly, then beware of danger on the other side: the enemy will not leave you to deceive you with arrogance and opinions about his correction, and subtly catch you with them. And you, not yet having humility, but seeing yourself fulfilling the commandments, can imperceptibly deviate into these thoughts. It is necessary to keep in mind the word of the Lord more often: “Even if you do all that is commanded, say, for we are unimpeachable servants; With this you can drive away arrogance. But since we are still far from fulfilling God’s commandments, we must involuntarily humble ourselves and repent, as St. Mark the Ascetic writes in his word on repentance: “We always demand repentance, but we want to see our corrections; How does Saint Ephraim say in prayer: “Hey, Lord, King, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother!” This is not about intentionally sinning, but about seeing sins committed before and at the present time, and not at all despairing, but repenting, considering oneself in one’s mind the last of all.” Saint Peter of Damascus in the 3rd part of the Philokalia, after seven physical works, writes on the 18th sheet: “And then the mind begins to see its sins, like the sand of the sea. And this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health.” You see, after performing many virtues, you see your sins, not corrections. Read the 55th word of Saint Isaac the Syrian, where he points directly to the commandments of God, and does not advise seeking high visions. I advise you to try to fulfill the commandments, but not to be embarrassed when you happen to sin, but to repent and humble yourself: when there is a guarantee of humility in your heart, then you will have help from God in good deeds and in avoiding evil ones. And St. John Climacus believes that pride is the reason for our attempts: “where the Fall occurred, pride preceded it.” Let us try to acquire humility through our weaknesses, for it is a destroyer of pride, but we do not even notice it in ourselves. You grieve for the condemnation of your neighbors; if we humble ourselves, then we will not judge them. Let us pray with humility, like the publican’s prayer, then the Lord will accept it, for he accepts the prayer of the humble and hears their prayer; but we ourselves cannot value our prayer, that we pray heartily, God knows its value; otherwise it is dangerous - if she were not a Pharisee. You are at a loss about fasting; when visiting relatives, you need to have dinner and eat small meals; and when you demand that meat be prepared for you, you are afraid to give a reason that you are putting yourself above others and exalting yourself. You ask what to do in this case? I’m not putting any restrictions on you, but I’m giving this advice: in my opinion, don’t be afraid to ask your relatives to prepare a Lenten meal for you. This does not mean showing yourself to be superior to others. Not at all, you are fulfilling your duty and obedience to the Church: how can you exalt yourself? Looking at you, there will be others who imitate you. And if you eat healthy food, then others will be carried away by your example and will not worry about the fact that they are sinning, but you will be guilty of this purely - for yourself and for others. What do you care about what they say about you? Don’t listen to it and be calm. If your relatives eat fast food due to illness, then this is excusable, but, of course, they too must repent of it. And if you use it this way only out of fear of negotiations, then this is not good. Do you know what the Lord determined for disobedience to the Church? When working something for the Church, it would seem that you should not abandon your essential responsibilities; it is not a temporary task; you can do both. You always considered yourself to be patient and, of course, this consoled you, but this is not useful. And now your weakness has been revealed, cases touch you, worry you, and you recognize your impatience and weakness. We need to humble ourselves. When it comes to satisfying your neighbors' bills, you faithfully fulfill them according to your conscience, and there is nothing for you to be embarrassed or doubt about this. Because you think that you will seem disgusting to me after the infirmities you described, I will not praise you, and that your letter was difficult for you. Why does this happen, find out for yourself. From this I understand more about your disposition towards the Lord for my evil, and I will sympathize with you in your weaknesses, offering you advice according to my strength. And if you had only written about your corrections, then I would not have found anything to write to you. May the Lord bless you, enlighten you and strengthen you in the pursuit of spirituality and Christian life. I wish you, your husband and children peace, health and salvation, and with my respect I remain the unworthy pilgrim, the many-sinful Hieromonk Macarius. Letter 3. The enemy's action is due to our pride. Despair. Elevation. The property of mercy. What to pray for? Prudent mean You find two opposite actions in your mental structure: exaltation and despair. Of course, you understand that this comes from the enemy, and you cannot fight him, and both of these actions are very difficult for the soul. Maybe you understand the reason for this? As the holy fathers write, they come from spiritual pride, and due to a lack of humility it is difficult to resist them; and in both cases one must humble oneself. In the first (despair) - they plunge all their weaknesses and sins into the abyss of God’s mercy, lament and repent about them, but hope for mercy; for the Lord shed His most pure blood for sinners. And even if they have fulfilled the whole law, they should not hope for salvation from their works, but consider themselves inextricable slaves, according to the word of the Lord. Read from Saint Mark the Ascetic in his sermon on those who think to justify themselves from works: “you will find many chapters where you do not have the right to hope for works, but as a duty to fulfill them.” And in order not to despair, then read from Saint Isaac the Syrian in the 7th word, on page 37 and from Saint Peter of Damascus, in the 3rd part of the Philokalia, on page 58 on the back: “for it is not proper to despair, even though many people sin”; and on sheet 64 on the back: “as true repentance is a great good.” You will find in them many fortifications against despair. And in the second (exaltation) - by remembering your weaknesses, sins and transgressions, cast down the praising thoughts that attack us; and how, read from Saint Isaac in the 21st word, on page 120 and in the 46th word on page 224, and at the end on the 225th and 226th at the beginning and in the superscript to the book of Nil Sora on page 45, and there are many more fatherly teachings, but I leave you to experience for yourself, and I wrote only what is necessary. And in the struggle against this, you did not have the strength to drive away these thoughts because you did not act humbly, but wanted to drive them away yourself; one must humbly cry out to the Lord: “have mercy on me, for I am weak” and not be embarrassed; they will leave. And if you are embarrassed, your enemies will rise up against you. And the fact that you, realizing your fault, but try to justify yourself before others and reach the point of irritability, you yourself find that this comes from a lack of humility; and therefore we must try to gain this great treasure - humility, which always gives us peace. The fact that you try to notice moral shortcomings in yourself will help you acquire humility and henceforth guard against them. The quality of almsgiving is a heart burning with love for every creature and desiring its good. Almsgiving does not consist in alms alone, but in compassion, when we see a created person akin to us in some kind of suffering, and if we can help him in any way, we help. This (alms) is depicted in the 6 commandments of the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 25. And alms are only part of alms; it is also necessary to do this according to strength, without embarrassment and trial - although it is a little tax, but with good will and hope, according to the word of the Lord: “Before you have created one of these least of my brethren, you will do it for me” (Matthew 25:40). Do not be embarrassed that sometimes there is absent-mindedness during prayer; I have already written to you about this. Humble yourself and calm down, and over time your thoughts will calm down. This is also a scolding of the enemy. When we take up prayer as a weapon, he (the enemy) becomes weary of it, but is driven away by humility. And when you are embarrassed, he will arm himself more. The petition for the kingdom of heaven should be our first subject; but, living in peace with your family, you can ask: “grant good and beneficial things to our souls” and so on. The Lord said: “Ask, and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7). But he gives us what is useful and necessary for us. You cannot, having lived in the world and had children, position yourself in such a way as to have nothing and give everything away: but you must observe a prudent middle - not to shy away from the world and not to become addicted to it. If you need things for your children, you can keep them, but if you don’t need them, you can give them to those in need. May the Lord bless your dear children; May their childish feeling for piety grow with them and bear fruit - to salvation. I accept their zeal and love for my thinness and send them my unworthy blessing. Letter 4. Humility from reading the books of the fathers. Rituals. Icons and relics. Boredom. Cross. Don't believe dreams. About vows Thank God, you find solace in reading the books of your fathers, although you admit that you are not getting much done in your work, and that it is difficult to constantly monitor your actions and thoughts. But it is also good that, by reading books, you recognize yourself as failing in doing what you should, you recognize your weakness and from this you humble yourself; and God looks upon the humble and gives His help. And you, apparently, want to steadily go about correcting everything that should be done; and when you could do this, then of course it would console you, and at the same time you would be carried away in the opinion of yourself that you live pleasing to God; which could darken your good deeds. Although these are the enemy’s excuses, due to inexperience you can get carried away by them: the enemy does not cease to fight us, if not for sinful actions, then for praise about his deeds. Love for God is proven by fulfilling His holy commandments, but this is also His commandment: “When you have done all that is commanded you, say, as we are unworthy servants: for whatever we ought to do, we have also done” (Luke 7:10). This is humility. “Just as salt is in every food, so humility is needed in every virtue,” writes Saint Isaac in the 47th word; and Saint Abba Dorotheos likens the correction of good deeds to the building of a house: “Just as we strengthen every stone with clay (which is an image of humility), so every virtue must be strengthened by humility.” The Holy Fathers, with all their holiness, considered themselves earth and ashes and had themselves under all creation. So, do not grieve over this, that you do not achieve the fulfillment of virtues, but, testing yourself, what you have sinned in, humble yourself and bring repentance. In the 3rd prayer for those coming to bed, many sins that can be everyday are explained, for which we offer daily repentance. In your previous letter, you ask me about doubts about our rituals: I don’t know which rituals you have doubts about, but I will say that everything that is arranged in our church is everything external for the explanation of the spiritual; about this you can read the book “New Tablet”. I am sending you a small book about miraculous icons, from which you can see why some have miraculous power and others do not. There is also a discussion about the incorruptibility of holy relics, I don’t remember which year it was published; and there is a second edition about icons... You ask why both you and NN are bored? It is impossible to do without this, it is a spiritual cross sent to our test; there is gloom, languor, unaccountable boredom and despondency. This also happens to those who pass through spiritual life, as you will see in the book of Saint Isaac the Syrian, in the 88th word on page 461 and in the 79th word on page 434, where the medicine for this is written - a humble heart. Also read chapters 70 and 71 in the 4th part of the Philokalia by St. John of Carpathia and accept this cross with humility and patience, and after this time there is spiritual consolation. The Monk Macarius of Egypt also talks about this. He likens such a gloomy dispensation to gloomy weather: storm, rain, etc., and then it is clear and rainy; and in the 2nd part of the Philokalia by Callistus and Ignatius, chapter 43. Believers should not have prejudices and believe in dreams; dreams can be from enemies in order to confuse a person with a future accident. Without God's providence or permission, nothing can happen to us, so we must be affirmed by faith and humbly accept what will happen, and not believe in dreams. It was in vain that you imposed vows on yourself, and having failed to fulfill them, you are embarrassed, but which ones you have even forgotten; ask me to assign you something to do for this. You yourself can, according to your strength, replace them with something; but I do not know either your strength or the time of non-fulfillment of any satisfaction. You can bow at least three times a day to the Savior and the Mother of God, one at a time, although for six months and during this time read the canon of repentance, at least once a month; show compassion to your neighbors, if possible, help in any way possible and not be embarrassed, but humble yourself and be at peace. Letter 5. Is it possible to break fasts due to need? About reasoning. About arrogance. Is it possible to receive communion twice during Lent? How to avoid embarrassment during confession? There is humility in everything. About reading foreign books. Why sometimes does God not fulfill our prayers? About Lutherans. How to raise children in Orthodoxy? Are you asking how to spend this holy fast in relation to food? If you agree with the Typikon (church charter), then you find that for NN, due to his studies and labors, it will be unbearable, and his physical strength will betray him, although he has a firm intention to follow this decree. To this I will tell you: the decree of the Church is equal to everyone, and when it comes to eating food, everyone is obliged to fulfill it, and I do not dare to contradict the statute. But it is necessary to have reasoning, which the holy fathers call: “a certain eye of the soul and a lamp.” This teaches a person to leave immensity in everything and to walk the royal path (take the trouble to read for yourself the word of the Monk Cassian about the reasoning to Leontin, the abbot in the 4th part of the Philokalia). If you accept the reasoning in this case, you will find that it is more convenient for those who have dedicated themselves at a distance from the world to bear such a decree. They are not busy with anything external and are not obliged to deal with everyday things, and even more so with official and important matters, then although they are exhausted and remain (through this) in inaction, they will not give an answer for their omission. 2 And those who are obliged, then it is necessary to indulge the body by strengthening food during this fast; I don’t mean fish, but oil, with which food cooked strengthens the bodily composition more than the process. It’s a different matter, when you are fasting, that is, preparing to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, then you need to leave the oil. The very rules of the apostles and fathers say: “except for weakness”; and isn’t this weakness when the body becomes exhausted from fasting and is not capable of performing important duties? The time for eating food should also be in accordance with the strength and strength of the body. It seems not inappropriate to do as you write. But if you believe that you are transgressing by this failure, then you must resort to humility, which in any case is necessary and useful, and forgives many sins, according to the word of Saint Isaac the Syrian (Chapter 46). And when arrogance and self-importance are woven into the correction of fasting or other virtues, and creep up in such a way that they imperceptibly blind a person’s mind, then even though one does not speak with one’s mouth like a Pharisee, one’s opinion alone already has a Pharisee’s mind and does not receive justification. In the word about reasoning, you will see how the great feats of the past were carried away in arrogance. Are you asking if you can begin to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ twice during Great Lent? It is very possible and should, unless something prevents it. The Church commandment commands to begin confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries during all fasts; and busy people or common people should begin at least once a year. You find it difficult to prepare for confession because you cannot put your thoughts in order. If you come to confession with the humility of a tax collector, you will not be embarrassed. Repentance is a gift of God, given to us through His suffering. We, recognizing ourselves as sinners, approach Him as a humane Father and Redeemer, according to His mercy, and there is nothing of ours here, but only one sin, confessing it without justification and receiving justification from the Lord. This is all the enemy’s machination, confusing you. Go simply and cry to the Lord: “I have sinned, forgive me.” Here, explain the sins that lie on your conscience, and depart in peace and hope in God’s mercy. I, it seems, wrote to you from the book of Peter Damascene that a person, after many corrections of virtues and exploits, begins to ripen his sins, like the sand of the sea, which he calls the beginning of the enlightenment of a contrite and humble soul, and considers himself truly the worst of all, but is not embarrassed; for her very humility will give her peace. I advise you not to be embarrassed if you see things differently than you would like to prepare for confession, but humble yourself and be at peace. But, as you put it, you are sad to see such a bad heart in yourself, and what is described above shows you that when we see our ulcers, we involuntarily humble ourselves, repent and receive God’s mercy. If you saw a good heart in yourself, then with this imaginary consolation you would deceive your eyes, and, relying on your corrections, you would conveniently fall into pride, blinding the eyes of your soul, from which may the Lord deliver you. Struggle is necessary in the spiritual structure: through it we get to know ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses, and become skillful or experienced. You write that you understood somewhat your structure after reading the 79th word of Isaac the Syrian; but admit that you do not have a middle ground, you are carried away in reading spiritual books; and belonging to the world, they should devote time to classes for children, and you propose a difficult question for me regarding reading foreign books - can these books harm you? If I tell you the opposite, I may make you sad. You need to practice foreign languages ​​for children, and if I agree with you, then I am afraid that I will sin: “for good customs corrupt, and evil conversations” (1 Cor. 15:33). And another seed sown in the village of the heart, when he sows tares on it, will it not harm the good seed? And by remembering the weed seeds, the enemy will have a reason to fight against piety. If you need to read foreign books, then still not novels. What a pity that the world today demands to know foreign languages ​​better than your own; How many foreign books are published with content that harms both religion and morality, but they are read greedily, carried away by the pleasantness of the style: “the ears are scratchy,” according to the word of the holy Apostle (2 Tim. 4:3). I don’t forbid you to write to me, but I just can’t rely on myself to be able to answer satisfactorily, and I’m also guilty of delays, sometimes due to lack of strength, and sometimes due to lack of time from working with people. The more you try to listen to yourself, you encounter bewilderments; for example, you pray about some matter, it seems, diligently and with full faith in God’s help, and it turns out that the matter does not succeed, or even harmful consequences will occur; you ask what is the reason for this? You have a good intention and think that the deed is good; but it may be displeasing to God, or there is no time to fulfill it, then failure occurs; and you do not need to grieve about this, but leave it to the will of God. He knows more than us what is useful to whom. It is inconvenient for you to enter into a dispute about faith in detail with Lutherans, but to say that our faith is conciliar and Apostolic, Orthodox Catholic; There are many books written about their faith that prove that it is wrong and a departure from the true Orthodox Church. The book exposing the wrongness of their faith: “The Stone of Faith,” where all their untruths are explained in great detail. More evidence about true religion in relation to the Protestant A.N. Muravyov about their faith, and that they do not have an ordained priesthood - and they still do, but where can you deal with them? It is good to serve requiem services and give alms for the deceased, and most of all, it is good to remember at proskomedia, but our Church does not remember those who have departed to the Lutheran faith. During their lifetime they had no communication with her, so what about after death? Only the Orthodox are commemorated, just as in the litanies they read about all the departed: “Orthodox ones lying here and everywhere.” For the preservation of Orthodoxy in your children, try to instill this teaching and pray to God about this. Unfortunately, nowadays people talk and write about religion so freely everywhere, not to create, but to doubt; sensuality takes over, and the younger generation is more inclined towards freedom, and not towards curbing feelings, and gives freedom to reason, although it is darkened. But, however, there is no need to despair, but ask God to save their young hearts from free-thinking, and try to instill in them, according to the concepts of their age, about the Orthodox Church and piety: what is written in a young heart will be more firmly established in adulthood, just as words written on a young fruit are more clearly depicted in a ripe one. When going to church with them, you can lightly talk about what church means and who they serve in it - the Most High God, our Creator, and that He knows and sees what we not only do and say, but also think. He rewards for good deeds and punishes for pranks. It is necessary to take people with you to church often or rarely, at the discretion of their location, and sometimes out of conviction; and as on major holidays, you need to take them with you. Your son has shown in practice his zeal for our monastery. May the Lord bless this young heart to the knowledge of the truth and to the love of God; but love is born from fear: “by the fear of the Lord everyone turns away from evil” (Prov. 15:27), but does not dream that we do good out of love; “But the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov. 1:7). And on all your children, on NN and on you, may the Lord send His blessing and give peace, health, prosperity and salvation. Letter 6. Until the end of life - struggle. Hence humility. Seeing your sins. Human praise deprives of reward. Is it possible to read the akathist while sitting at work? The benefits of sorrows. About admonishing servants You write that you have come to terms with the idea that for the rest of your life you will have to wage a war with your own passions. Yes, this is necessary, and the holy fathers, until they achieved dispassion and perfect peace, all had this struggle; through which we recognize our weakness and bad dispensation, and involuntarily must humble ourselves. But you want not only to be good and have nothing bad, but also to see yourself as such. Desire is commendable, and to see one’s good qualities is food for self-love. Yes, even if we did everything that was commanded, we should all consider ourselves unbreakable slaves, and we, even though we are faulty in many ways, do not think of ourselves as such, and therefore we are embarrassed, instead of reconciling ourselves; That’s why God doesn’t give us the strength to perform, so that we don’t ascend, but humble ourselves and acquire the guarantee of humility; and when we have it, then our virtues will be strong and it will not allow us to ascend. Why does it seem scary to you to think when, having compared yourself with the best people, you see a lot of bad things in yourself? If we see our sins (which is what we ask the Lord for: “grant me to see my sins”), then we must involuntarily humble ourselves, and at the sight of our virtues we are exalted. Human praise does not harm when we do not enjoy it, and if we accept it with pleasure, then, according to the words of Saint Isaac, such a “worker is without compensation,” that is, he is deprived of bribes or reward. To your question about reading the akathist: if you don’t have time to read it in due time, due to lack of it, can you read while sitting while working? I answer that there is no need to do this: is it really the Lord’s rent, which is strictly tormented from people, and when someone pays it, then he is at peace? Not at all; Freedom is sought from us. If for some reason you do not fulfill it in due time, then repent and consider yourself a humble debtor, but do not be embarrassed; it will be better than what you say somehow, and you will be carried away by the thought that you have done it and no longer should, and humility will remain on the sidelines. And it is known that “God will not despise a contrite and humble heart” (Ps. 50:19); Likewise, the Mother of God will accept your will and humble consciousness better than embarrassed execution. Difficult and sad spiritual cases that you encounter that hurt your heart should not lead you to grumbling. On the path of life, these are necessary to test our will and freedom, and there will be no benefit if we always abound in either spiritual or worldly consolation. Read from Saint Isaac in the 78th word on page 430: “when you find peace and so on” - and take this for your edification. You will not give responsibility for the morality of people, especially hired ones, but seeing their evasion, you can say that you find them bad. Letter 7. The benefits of seeing your sins. About raising children. Don't take them to the theater. About reading father's books. Meat food. About exploits. Difference of thoughts. Falling from pride happens I ask you not to think about what you allegedly said in your letters to me that was inappropriate; I don't see anything like that. You write that on that day you discovered a lot of bad things in yourself: what of this? I believe that the benefit is that if we see something bad in ourselves, then we involuntarily humble ourselves and repent before God; but we cannot praise him when we see good in ourselves (pharisaically). We must do good, but not think that we have done it: let God, and not ourselves, evaluate it, but we need to look at our own sins and not condemn our neighbors. This is what we asked the Lord for during the entire Holy Pentecost. We see ascetics of piety, holy men, who considered themselves inferior to all creation and worse, and who teach us all the same, to consider themselves such; and this is because they acquired a guarantee of humility in their hearts, and they did not consider the virtues they practiced great, but as cultivating the land and sowing, which, with the help of God, can bring in time the fruits of dispassion; which we can see in the book of the Venerable Nil of Sora, in the superscript on page 61 and further. What an important matter that she lost my letter and was so worried about it; Having read it, of course, I remembered the matter, and that’s enough for you; but from this you also brought out prejudices that you thought to be alien to. I also noticed envy behind myself, which I also thought you didn’t have and don’t notice how you get carried away with opinions about your corrections; but enough has been said about this above. Having entrusted the care of your children to the Lord, rest assured that He will provide for them in His goodness; and if it pleases His will that they should know the weight of the vanity of this world before you do, then He is able to arrange this too, if it is useful to them. You try to raise them Orthodox, religiously, humbly; plant the seeds of virtues on their young hearts, then what was planted in youth will bear fruit in due time, even if they deviate a little through conversion. I see this in many people and even in those around me. Regarding theaters - now you can reject them, due to their youth, and what is not understandable and not useful for them; and although there are brothers, they are older, or imagine some other reason; and later, when they enter the community, it cannot be kept from this, but for now it should not be allowed, due to their early age. Yes, they should have you as an example, that you do not go to these spectacles, having learned that they only enchant the sensuality, but do not bring any benefit to the soul, and that money is wasted in vain, and not on useful things. I cannot give an exact purpose for reading the books of the fathers; These are written not according to a scientific system, but simply about various passions and virtues, how to resist the former and acquire the latter. There are also high subjects for the perfect. When you read books, what is accessible to your mind and appropriate to your structure, then assimilate for yourself; and what exceeds your understanding, then, after reading, leave it as it is, without delving into the depth of understanding, it may open up over time; For babies, solid foods are inconvenient. Read books from the beginning, continue in a row, but not all of them, but in the morning read one, in the evening in another; read not for curiosity, but to learn piety and recognize your weakness, and from this come to humility. Eating meat food at the permitted time is not in the least wrong for the worldly, but is permissible, but abstinence in moderation is beneficial in everything. Do not take on greater feats than yourself. Thoughts that chill and disturb have many differences: the pretext or attack of a thought has no sin, but it is the temptation of our autocracy, to what it bows - whether to them or to resistance to them, and when there is a combination and combination with these passions, it is considered a sin and subject to repentance. Not being able to resist them, we must resort to God, cast aside our weakness and ask for His help, and ask the Mother of God for help with them. When someone is overcome by thoughts, this is a sign that pride has preceded them, and therefore one must be more humble through them. Letter 8. About irritability. About indecision. Don't hide your thoughts at all. Signs of secret pride and vanity. Damage from embarrassment. The beginning of the health of the soul. The purpose of life is to help others in strength in humility You ask: are there any means to completely eradicate the feeling of irritability? Irritability or the furious part is one of the three parts of the soul, given to us not in order to be angry with our neighbors, but to have zeal against sin; and when we are angry with our neighbors, we do it against nature. Irritability in us comes from pride. The Lord commanded us to learn from Him that the Father is “meek and lowly in heart,” and we will find rest for our souls (Matthew 2:29). How to resist the furious part and the anger that arises from it, read from St. John Climacus, degree 8 and 24, from St. Cassian in the Philokalia of the 4th part, about 8 passionate thoughts, also from St. Nile of Sora, and if possible resist them, and humble yourself in victory. Indecision in action reveals our double-mindedness. You do the right thing by praying to God to instruct you what to do, and do as your conscience dictates. If it turns out that it doesn’t turn out the way it should be, then blame yourself for this, reproach yourself, humble your wisdom, and surely this matter will no longer bring harm. The opinion of a “pious man” that it is not good to get used to expressing everything that is heavy on the heart, but that one must accustom the heart to process what is heavy within itself, does not agree with the instructions of the holy fathers, who advise not to trust your own reason, but the advice of those who have succeeded. Read about this from St. John Climacus in the 1st and 4th degree, from St. Abba Dorotheos the 5th teaching about not relying on one’s own reason - in the 4th part of the Philokalia, St. Cassian’s word to Leontinus Abbot about reasoning; In Saint Barsanuphius you will find many clear instructions about this, which you can find in the alphabetical index. This way of life is necessary for those going through an active life; but when they get used to it and succeed in dealing with questions, then they can process the difficult things within themselves, and even more so when they don’t have anyone to open it to; however, they also resort to the well-known teachings of the fathers on a subject in which they are perplexed, like, for example, St. Isaac in the 70th word - what kind of healing should be done during times of hardship from despondency and so on. And it is so easy for those who are still untrained in spiritual work to process the heavy within themselves, close to arrogance and arrogance. Perhaps there are such ascetics and humble ones, but they are rare, and rarity is not the general path. The most merciful Lord and the Mother of God saved you from injury, saved you from a useless trip to the dacha and returned you home, where your presence was needed. Isn’t it obvious that God’s providence preserves you according to your faith, and as His fatherly providence indicated with a finger? Glory and thanksgiving to His bounties! In the second letter you ask why such an action happens to you that while you are reading your father’s books, your heart burns with the desire to move forward; and when you hear that among the laity there are people of spiritual life, then you become terribly sad and you seem to lose hope of becoming a better person. It seems that this comes from the fact that you consider yourself below the monastic life, and above the laity; then this subtle pride is what worries you. How can people not be pleasing to God in the world when the city cannot stand without them; This is proven to us by the Lord’s answer to Abraham that for the sake of ten the righteous the city will not be destroyed; and when he brought Lot and his family out of Sodom, the city perished. You also ask what to do when you find fear in the form of a reproach of conscience, but you don’t know anything about yourself? Although you have a good intention to look after yourself and improve in everything; but you are already getting down to business beyond measure and beyond your own dispensation; and simply say, according to the Russian proverb: so as not to pry the needle, that is, not to be guilty of anything, and subtle vanity incites you to this; That’s why you can’t avoid embarrassment. You must despise this, and try to see your sins and weaknesses, which I already wrote to you about; this makes us involuntarily humble when we see our poverty, and humility calms us down. After all, a humble and repentant sinner is more acceptable before God than a proud and unrepentant righteous man. Those who live calmly in their piety and are not embarrassed - this is because they do not stretch themselves high, but live simply; and you try to listen and watch yourself, but not humbly, then the enemy attacks you with confusion. There is no need to submit to this, but to despise it, otherwise it is not surprising to fall into delusion. It is very dangerous that there is bewilderment and embarrassment at every step, although we avoid everything secular. This is demonic cunning and the abuse of the enemy, rising up against you and depriving you of peace. It seems that I wrote to you to read in the book of St. Nilus of Sora, in the superscript to it, from page 60, with what intention many people practiced great virtues and those who had talents, but did not consider that they were doing anything good, and their goal was, having freed themselves from passions, to achieve dispassion; but some tried to imitate their virtues and thought that they were passing through virtue; then what harm came from it, read it and you will see. And further on page 65 the answer to the question: how can those who do virtue not think that they are doing good? It seems that he also wrote about how Saint Peter of Damascus writes that when we see our sins like the sand of the sea, then this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health, and from this the soul is humble and the heart is contrite, and from this peace is born. Again the question is: are you following the proper goal? Our goal should be: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33), that is, the fulfillment of God’s commandments, purifying our passions and giving us peace and hope of salvation, according to the ineffable love of God, and not from our works; for, although we will do everything commanded, we must consider ourselves unbreakable slaves. And while we are still in passions, work is necessary to remove these tares from our hearts. There is no need to strive or quickly want to achieve dispassion and peace; this requires time, labor and God’s help; and everything that is quickly achieved is soon lost. Do not be discouraged and do not be embarrassed, but surrender to the will of God. And in this, that you need to help your neighbors who suffered from a fire, you need to have reasoning: you need to give according to your strength, and have compassion for them; but if you gave away all your property, could you satisfy all their needs? But you have a family, and you need to live, although not luxuriously, but decently. Here, too, there is the machination of the enemy, causing embarrassment to you, and if you had given a lot, you would again bring embarrassment upon embarrassment, which is what you did, deprived your family, and so on. It’s better if we resign ourselves, then we’ll find peace. Based on your intention to fast this week, I believe that today you have already been rewarded with the great gift of Communion of the Most Pure Mysteries of Christ, with which I heartily congratulate you, and may this sacrament be your salvation. Letter 9. It is impossible to stand without falling. The middle path - the humble one should be followed Glory to God, who admonishes you, most revered N.N., and who gives you peace in the awareness of your weaknesses, and that from them you come into humility! Having a good will to fulfill the will of God, we have hope in God’s help, and moreover, we must not forget this commandment of God: “When you have done all that is commanded you, say, ‘For we are servants without exception, for whatever we ought to do, we have done it’” (Luke 17:10). This is humility. If we fail to do something due to weakness and negligence, then we will again resort to humility and repentance. And to stand steadily and without falling is impossible. Read about this in the Philokalia, in the 2nd part of Callistus and Ignatius, chapter 43; It will serve you forward towards admonition and strengthening. You live in the middle of a world where there are many cases and collisions that lead to creep, and during these you should not lose heart, but humble yourself and repent. It is known that the enemy does not sleep, but “like a roaring lion, he goes about seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet. 5:8); if it does not manage to lead us into some gross vices and tendencies, then it instills arrogance and encourages us to condemn others, and therefore, through our small faults, which happen with God’s permission, we are kept within the boundaries of humility. It seems that this may be memorable for you, and may the Lord Himself help you to follow the middle, humble path. To your question about revealing your actions, where it is necessary to touch upon the actions of others, are you afraid that through this you will not fall into the condemnation of your neighbors, and that is why you do not write? I will say: if the need is necessary, one should not be afraid of this; You are not writing to judge others, but wanting to have a solution to your bewilderment, which, according to your faith, the Lord sends. Letter 10. Patience is commanded, but this is impossible without insults. The benefits of temptation. Why the confusion? The Lord protects babies. When and how to ask for forgiveness from the offended? About bows You write that it is difficult for you when you see that others are unfair to you, and you cannot bring yourself to think that you are to blame, and this deprives you of peace. This very thing shows you that you are still far from what the Lord commanded us: “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who attack you and drive you out” (Matthew 5:44). And in many places in the Gospel the Lord encourages us to be patient: what will we endure if no one offends us wrongly or is unjust to us? This is where you need to learn, when there is an opportunity to recognize your weakness and the imperfection of your structure; when we come to terms with this and calm down. Saint Peter of Damascus teaches very well about the rejection of one’s desires in the 3rd part of the Philokalia, at the beginning of his book, pages 6, going through: “whenever we want” and further; I advise you to read a few pages there, you will find benefit and see that temptations bring us benefit. It is said there: “Humility is a product of reason, but reason is a product of temptation.” You ask why such embarrassment came over you during the all-night vigil, when you wanted to pray fervently? What kind of arrogance does it seem that you wanted to pray? And I thought that I would “pray,” but he was faced with temptation. For every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation, and without that it will not be firm. If you had to resign yourself to your temptation, then there would be no embarrassment; and when you are already embarrassed, then reproach yourself for this, and not others. Confusion comes from the pledge that abides in our hearts, and whoever we think is guilty of it, we are mistaken, for it only shows us the dispensation through God’s watch for our correction. There should be no doubt about the food prepared for children. There is “the Lord bless the children” (Ps. 114:5), but when doubt has already conquered, there is little to taste. To the question: should you ask for forgiveness from those to whom you will do some kind of trouble, when you ask, then ridicule and sharp words come out of this, to which you are afraid to be subjected. One must have reasoning and consider people and cases, the location of the former and the importance of the latter. If someone is offended by you, and you know that he will accept your apology with love, then you can ask for forgiveness, and especially when he is sharply offended by you. But this cannot be done until you internally recognize your guilt and blame yourself. And if you know that those people whom you have offended will accept your apology with ridicule, then you do not need to apologize to them, but blame yourself in your heart, and mentally ask them for forgiveness; so you need to calm down. You ask about bows, how many of them should you give? I cannot assign exactly how much, but according to everyone’s strength, ability and diligence, it must be fulfilled. Of course, you can make at least 30 bows, and in case of weakness, even less; if you have the will and zeal, then more is possible, but you must avoid vanity and conceit and do everything with humility. Letter 11. There are no good deeds without temptations. Why and for what purpose? Abba Dorotheos said: “Whoever does a deed pleasing to God will certainly be faced with temptation; for every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation; and what is done for the sake of God cannot be firm unless it is tested by temptation.” You write that you just can’t understand this, why does it have to be like this? It would seem quite enough to believe in the great elder Abba Dorotheus, enlightened by God with his mind, and not try to comprehend with his mind, which does not yet have the gift of reasoning. Here is what Saint Isaac the Syrian writes about this: “A soul that has taken care of virtue and lives with caution (with caution and consideration) and the fear of God cannot be without sorrow every day; Even though virtues are intertwined, they have sorrows with them. He who departs from sorrows in every way and from virtues is undoubtedly excommunicated. If you are virtuous, give yourself over to all sorrow: for sorrow gives birth to humility” (Homily 34, p. 169). Below: “Whoever finds his virtue without sorrow, the door of pride is opened to him... In abundance (God) allows those tempted to be virtuous by such (sorrowful incidents), and leaves a lot of evil from every place to be aroused against him. It is not possible, if we always walk the path of righteousness, that we may not be content with lamentation and that our body will not be sick or ill in illness and remain unchangeable, if we love to live in virtue” and further (Homily 35, pp. 171–173). Why does God allow temptation and sorrow to befall those who love Him? (Word 37, pp. 177–178). When embarking on a good work for the love of God, destined for yourself the definition of death (Homily 38, p. 184). Don’t be surprised when you begin virtue, and cruel and strong sorrows pour out on you from every place; If virtue is not lower than that it is not expected to exist, it will not be followed by the inconvenience of deeds to its action, and further (Sermon 49, p. 248). If the commandments of God are fulfilled in sorrow and distress; We are (sorrows) despised; then we despise the rest and the very One who commanded the commandments by the cunning of passions for the sake of those that are born from our peace, and we abolish the guilt of virtue, that is, oppression and sorrow (Sermon 77, p. 427). “When you begin to work for the Lord God, prepare your soul for temptation: guide your heart and be patient, and do not be hasty during the time of guidance” (Sir. 2:1-2), writes the Wise Sirach. All “who want to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim. 3:12), says the holy Apostle. From all this it is clear, and experience shows us, that virtues are opposed by malice (evil) and this happens by God’s permission, so that we do not become arrogant when performing good deeds; and the fire of temptation burns these thorns and we involuntarily humble ourselves through temptation. Letter 12. Rest in Faith. About love. Don't be ashamed of the sign of the cross. What is the mark of the devil? About reading the canons. About the communion of children. About petition in prayers When N... is ill, you ask if she has sinned with double-mindedness? It was hard at the thought of being separated from him, and you don’t know whether to rejoice at his recovery, out of ignorance, what his lot in life will be? The future is unknown to us, therefore we must surrender everything to the will of God and pray about this: “Thy will be done, Lord, for us and for our children.” Faith has the power to give you peace; Abraham also boasts for his faith; Because of so many promises about his seed, the Lord commands to sacrifice Isaac to Him - what was it like for a father’s heart, and having only one son! But faith overcame love for her son by submission to the will of God, and everyone knows what the end will be. May the Lord allow us to find peace in faith and submission to the will of God. The word about love is great, has space and is difficult to say with our meager mind, and even more meagerly with our actions. You have noticed that you have little love, and having examined more, you find that you had no idea about love, you want to know - in what ways can you at least acquire some of this virtue? The Lord said: “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). This path is keeping the commandments of the Lord. “He who loves Me, keeps My commandments.” And His commandments are all love and humility. We must fulfill them in any case, to the best of our ability, but not at all think that we have already fulfilled anything; no matter what good we do, we do it all not with our own strength, but with the help of God, for He said: “Without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5), and everyone should consider themselves inextricable servants according to the commandment of God: “Whatever you ought to do, let him make it” (Luke 17:10). You want to see the acquisition of virtues, but this is impossible: it would only flatter our pride. Let us imagine to God that we value our good actions, and we ourselves will ask God: “grant me to see my sins,” and not my virtues, even if there were any. You write that it happens to see someone suffering and in need; and you don’t find the opportunity to give help, and then it turns out that you could have done it, but didn’t: this is what serves you to repentance and humility and henceforth to precaution, and also attracts God’s help. You write about the sign of the cross, which is now not accepted in the world to be baptized. For example, when a train starts moving along the railroad, you want to cross yourself, but you are afraid of ridicule, and you yourself decide this circumstance with the words of the Savior: “If this adulterous and sinful generation is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of it” (Mark 8:38), and further... This would be enough for fearless action in religious rules; but there is also a lot of Christian teaching that is proper not to imitate the world and its customs: you cannot work for two masters: the world and God, and “whoever wishes to be a friend of the world is an enemy of God” (James 4:4). The world, that is, worldly customs that do not agree with religious ones. Unfortunately, even today’s grief, as they say, “is not accepted in the world.” What is this? The saving seal of the cross and the name of Christ - you see how the enemy achieves his all-destructive goal, imposing the seal of the enemy on the forehead and on the right hand. Here is what Saint Ephraim the Syrian writes about this: “And this bad one will put his seal on any member of the body, but so that this does not make this difficult, he will put it on the right hand of a person, and also on the forehead he will put an ungodly mark, so that a person will not be able to print on himself with his right hand the sign of Christ our Savior, and also will not be able to mark on his forehead, no doubt, a terrible cross Savitelev. For this unfortunate one knows that the cross of the Lord, if imprinted on anyone, will destroy all his power. And therefore he will put a seal on a person’s right hand, since it seals all our members with a cross; and in a similar way, the forehead also bears the sign of the Savior on its top, just as a candlestick carries a lamp of light” (in the work of the Holy Fathers of 1850, p. 4, seq. 93). How does the enemy put a seal on the forehead and on the right hand? Not otherwise than gradually introducing his own tricks into the customs of the world; and even slyly hides himself with his actions - he inspires people that there is no devil. There is one article in “Home Conversation” this year, in No. 30, I think, entitled “The same and that’s why.” The story begins about the torment of Jacob the Persian and about the current state of religious people in the world, how the world looks at them and laughs at them. I cited “Home Conversation” not as a law, but as a look at the modern world, how they look at those who want to observe the rules of religion and what it is like for them to endure. You ask: how to behave in this case? But in my opinion, in accordance with the Holy Scriptures, do not imitate this world, since you have lagged behind it in many ways, and do not be afraid of ridicule. It happens to you sometimes, when starting a canon or akathist, you don’t have time to read from fatigue, or they tear it off and ask: is it possible, having noticed a verse, to finish reading it? You can do it this way, you can leave it, completing the shortcoming with humility, without embarrassment about what you didn’t do for some reason. It seems that I wrote to you so as not to be embarrassed for non-fulfillment, but to humble myself for the duty. Children can be reported after 6 weeks or less, and especially if they experience infirmities and illnesses. There remains one question about the forty-day prayer with numerical prayers and bows, after which you seem to receive what you asked for. I can’t say anything to this, because I haven’t read anywhere in the fatherly rules and instructions; but I don’t dare say anything affirmative on my own behalf. If those who told you this remedy have the testimony of the Holy Scriptures or the instructions of the holy fathers, then you can follow it, but without it it is not safe. The Lord commanded: “Ask and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7), but he did not say, when reading prayers about each matter, how much to say, and gives us only what is useful to us, and what is not, he does not give. Read from Saint Isaac the Syrian in the 3rd word, pages 28 and 29, what we should ask, and why God sometimes does not fulfill our request. There is also information about this on page 334. May the Lord give you true reason about everything. Letter 13. The Need for Revelation and Counsel. The harm of human praise. The purpose of prayer is humility. Don't believe dreams. About dating. Confession of already confessed sins. You shouldn't bow in church. About judgmental conversations What confuses you is the thought that you don’t need the guidance of an elder, but how others live - they don’t relate to anyone, except for confession once a year and they are calm and so on. This thought is already exposed by the fact that it comes from the enemy - when it brings confusion. If it is true, then why be embarrassed, but we must follow it; and the fact that those who are not related to anyone are calm, but you are not, can be resolved by this, that those who, monitoring their actions, see their weaknesses, struggle, and, not finding peace, seek solutions by faith from the experienced, or from the teachings of the holy fathers, and therefore the enemy rises up against them with his machinations, causes confusion, bewilderment, and incites others against them; They, not finding consolation and reassurance, resort to whom they have a disposition by faith, ask for advice and calm down; and the scolding of the packs rebels and the packs resort to the same means; and against those who have no need to relate, but follow their own reason and think that they live well, being carried away by vanity and self-conceit, the enemy does not rise up with a fight, but they imagine themselves to be calm. There are teachings of the Holy Fathers about the need to seek spiritual advice, although they especially apply to monks, but spiritual warriors are not only monks, but all Orthodox Christians. The Holy Scripture says that the Holy Spirit appointed shepherds and teachers to shepherd the verbal flock of Christ; and to them it is said: “Be urgent and untimely, reprove, rebuke, entreat with all long-suffering and teaching. The time will come when they will not listen to sound teaching, but according to their own lusts they will choose for themselves teachers with their ears scratched” (2 Tim. 4:2-3). “Nowadays it’s not an old time to listen to shepherds, we are smarter than them!” You will hear this from many people, progress has been made in this too! And that it is necessary to have advice, the Scripture also speaks about this: “salvation is in much advice” (Prov. 11:14), but the lawless is captivated by lack of advice. Our holy fathers and teachers themselves walked the path of spiritual life and left us the path of revelation and advice. I will point out a few: St. John Climacus - Art. 1 and 4, Abba Dorotheus - a teaching about not following your own reason, Simeon the New Theologian in many of his chapters and in the 7th word (twelve words), Theodore of Edessa from chapter 40 onwards. In these chapters there is how the enemy hates whoever follows the path of revelation and advice, and how he contrives intrigues against this; Saint Cassian in his word to Leontinus Abbot, and in many others one can see what benefit there is from advice. But enough about this. You will also find in Saint Barsanuphius that worldly people also sought advice. That your mother ... attributed praise to you is due to her disposition and simplicity, but of course you should not praise to your face, but your dispensation seemed to be in this, that you cannot bear the honor, as Saint Isaac writes in the first word; If you see harm, accept it. When you don’t have much time for prayer, be content with what you have, and God will accept your will; remember that the publican’s feeling is pleasing to God in prayer and be careful not to put a price on your prayer; This is God's work, not ours. One should not believe in dreams and be embarrassed by them; the enemy makes many intrigues just to cause confusion. If something happens to us, it is not from dreams, but that it must be so due to the destinies of God unknown to us. May the Lord keep NN, you and your children in mental and physical health. NN does not take care of himself, but he sometimes needs to take rest to restore his overworked strength, mental and physical. The suggestions of people who advise you to get acquainted with ..., supposedly for the benefit of many, are incompatible with your situation both in family terms and in the fact that NN has care about this, who needs to be helped; How can you interfere in something that’s not your own business, and without NN’s knowledge, and of course he won’t approve of this. Why should you waste time getting to know this? Let us suppose that it is possible to have edification from them; but this requires a lot of time and rapprochement, and you don’t have enough of it. Let them do good themselves freely, but don’t preach about it on the rooftops. But their goodness, more often than not, only seems so to them themselves, and the opposite may also come out, due to their ignorance of the essence of matters; They will be convinced this way, but in reality it is completely different, and besides, it’s unpleasant for you to get involved in matters of this kind, why do you need this? You ask about confession, should a previously confessed sin be spoken about in confession if the confessor asks about it? When after the (previous) confession there was no sin of the same kind, then there is no need to repeat it, but when asked, say: there was no sin after the confession, and if it is the same confessor, then he already knows your entire confession. In public prayer there is no need to differ from others by bowing or praying on your knees, and when bows are prescribed according to the rules, they must be done at a decent time. There is no need to express inner feelings in front of everyone; and if a feeling of tenderness comes, then you need to have it secretly: God looks at the heart. When we pray especially, we can express it outwardly, only humbly. “God will not despise a broken and humble heart” (Ps. 50:19). When you are somewhere, you yourself recognize your disorder and see your weakness; but you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it; during times of unsettled spirit, it would be better to remain silent, but, according to the custom accepted in the world, this will seem strange, and it is impossible to completely withdraw from society; then there is nothing left to do; if you get carried away into some judgmental or unhelpful conversation, you must repent. “Whatever you say in your hearts, be moved on your beds” (Ps. 4:5), says the holy king and prophet David. You grieve over your embarrassment every week through the conversation and judgment that happens in society about monasticism, that you interfere in it and sometimes share the opinions of others. What to do? It is not the monastic title that is to blame, but the weaknesses of some people who see the world vigilantly; and seeing the weaknesses of some people, puts a stain on all monasticism. One cannot help but feel sorry for those people, the temptation comes from them, but God is so merciful that He is able to bring the weak to repentance. However, we do not dare to boast about ourselves that with our life we ​​reach the heights of our dispensation, but rather we see weaknesses in ourselves and must have ourselves under all creation, that is, worse than everyone else. Although the ancient fathers were of a great dispensation and holy, they all considered themselves worse than everyone else. However, the world sees disorder in the monks, but does not notice its own; If they felt their sins, they would not have time to judge others. Don’t be embarrassed about this, but when you come home, bring repentance, without judging others who are carried away to court. Letter 14. On enduring insults At the present time I cannot fully answer your letter of the 26th, but I will only say one thing, that you insulted me for the reprimand incorrectly! We, as people who have not yet exterminated the passions of self-love and pride, then, in our opinion, an insult undeserved by us is difficult to bear. But if we take spiritual reason into our guidance, we will find that this incident was sent from God to test you and to correct your dispensation; for from such clashes we learn the effect of our passions, and with the help of God we try to heal them through self-reproach, humility and love; Read about this more clearly in the “Enraptured Classes”, in the conversations of St. Zosima, on pages 176 and 177, beginning: “verb paki”; you will see how useful such cases are for us; They are responsible for healing our mental illnesses. During the movement of passion, we cannot judge sensibly, but when it subsides, we will see our guilt in not bearing the insult. The Lord commanded to endure, but what to endure? It’s not when we are guilty and are insulted for it; but when they are innocent and insult us; which the Apostle clearly explained. And no one can offend or annoy us, unless the Lord allows this to be for our benefit, or for punishment, or for testing and correction. And when we think about the commandment of God, about love that extends even to the love of enemies, then we will find ourselves unrequited in relation to cases like yours. I suggest reading in the Philokalia part 1, St. Mark the Ascetic, in the chapters about those who think they will be justified by works, chapter 209, and St. Simeon the New Theologian, chapter 3. They can be of use to you. Letter 15. On raising children in the fear of God In response to your two letters, most respected N.N., I am writing these lines: thank you for the information about the health of N.N., mine and your children; May the Lord bless the zeal of these latter. He who accepts two mites from a poor widow, more than many rich offerings, will also accept their childish and diligent offering, and will reward them with spiritual gifts, enlightening their minds to the knowledge of the truth. Precisely, in modern times it is difficult to preserve youth from the stormy stream of free-thinking that has spread across the face of the earth and drowns the human mind, darkened by unbelief, in muddy waters. But you, with God’s help, sow the seeds of the Orthodox confession in their hearts, infuse them with the fear of God, leading to love through the fulfillment of the Lord’s commandments. The seeds of piety that have sunk in the young soil of their hearts will perhaps, over time, bear fruit in holy places with the firmness of the Orthodox faith. Try not to allow them to read books that are contrary to the truth; the young mind is capable of receiving all kinds of impressions. And most importantly, pray to the Lord: may He protect them from the arrows and temptations of the enemy and entrust them to the Protection of the Mother of God. Letter 16. Don’t be ashamed to admit your shortcomings. About bows. Is it permissible for lay people to wear rosaries? How to correct the shortcomings of young people Describing her thoughts and feelings when dealing with the patient..., she described it to me with difficulty and immediately slandered me, as if I should feel disgust towards you for all this. When the Lord did not turn away sinners, but ate and drank with tax collectors and sinners, and talked with them, then who am I that I dare turn away anyone? This is your sin or a vice of another kind - self-love: you don’t want to appear before me exposing your weakness. Is it really possible to describe only your corrections, and for me to praise you for this? No, it’s even useful to catch yourself in such and similar thoughts and feelings; and, if in the struggle we see ourselves defeated, then we must recognize our weakness, and not be embarrassed that I have such shortcomings, but humbly submit ourselves before God; and God looks upon the humble and helps them. That is why the Lord allows us to fall into any weaknesses, so that, seeing our defilement, we will be humble and have a contrite and humble heart. Do not think that I turn away from those who are in struggle, recognize themselves as weak and repent. It is even more necessary to have compassion for them: “the healthy do not require a doctor, but the sick” (Matthew 9:12). To the question about bows, I will say: God does not demand from us more than our strength, and what brings you to exhaustion afterward, you can calmly reduce, taking into account your strength, or replacing large bows with small ones (waist bows), and immediately making three large bows; You can also divide it into three parts throughout the day. About the rosary: ​​although they primarily belong to monks, it does not prevent lay people from praying with them, just not worn openly, like monks, but in prayer at home, or on the road; for the rosary is called a spiritual sword, reminding us of prayer and expressing the number of prayers or bows due to us. In the inclination... to envy against sisters and resent them, and about one’s own things, excessive care must be cut off while they are still young and not rooted in admonition or light punishment, deprivation of something, etc. A young tree, crooked or gnarled, is pruned and tied by a skilled gardener; it happens afterwards beautifully and fruitfully. This example applies to you too, with God’s help. If you find it necessary to take an Orthodox, pious girl to look after the children, then why not - by common agreement you can take her. Help, Lord, so that she fulfills her duty for the benefit of your children. Letter 17. God sees our will. Don't be embarrassed by the opinions of others. How to deal with incorrect judgments about Faith? I agree that it is very difficult and tiring for you to watch and look after the children; you are not looking for a reward and do not think of being worthy of it; but God looks at your will and labors, and invisibly rewards and prepares more for it; but it is not useful for us if we see our labors and expect reward for them. You grieve that your feelings for your family are not what you would like to have, and you have learned that the way you act is unpleasant to them, and that while they regret you, they do not participate in your affairs. According to your conscience, you do not give them temptation to do what they condemn you for, then be calm, pray to the Lord for them. We cannot convince everyone of the correctness of our actions: everyone has their own view of things, we must submit matters to the judgment of the Lord. He knows all our thoughts and will reward everyone according to his deeds. If necessary, in case of incorrect judgments about objects of faith, you can say what you have read or heard, but do not enter into an argument, but leave everyone to their own thoughts; and perhaps the Lord will enlighten their hearts to the knowledge of the truth. They, having not heard from anyone, think that they judge what is right, and when they have a good heart, then the seed that falls on it can bear fruit; Just speak with humility, and not in the tone of a teacher. I am not offended by the length of your letter, but it pains me that I cannot answer in detail; Almost every line is stopped and interrupted. Letter 18. About collection for the monastery. It's scary to die! I am guilty, I insulted you with my unreasonable letter, most respected N.N. At that time, I was definitely bombarded with letters from all sides, and I grieved that I was not able to satisfy everyone with my meager answers, and I especially felt some kind of weakness. But in no way do I forbid you to write in your spiritual needs, and pray to the Lord that He will grant me the understanding to give you words of consolation, as the teaching of the holy fathers commands us; For better convenience, answering which subject is needed is to underline the lines. You write about receiving my letter and prosphora from the collection nun... God bless you for welcoming them into your home and for your approval. This is a very difficult obedience - collection; and especially for those who had never seen almost any people in such a noisy city. This is what obedience means—denying oneself; - and that the collection is meager, one should not grieve about it: whatever God sends, one should be content with that. Tell them both that I wish them well-being and send my unworthy blessing. I have no doubt about your obedience: you say that you will listen through my feeble-minded letters, and through your story about yourself - relief; write what you want, just emphasize special matters that require an answer, as I said above. You talk about the difficulty in a mortal situation, which you witnessed; when... having already been guided by the sacraments, she died difficultly, then what can we say about the others? This is incomprehensible to us; but we can understand from the writings of the fathers that pre-death labors and illnesses serve to cleanse the sins committed in life, assisted by the holy sacraments. But one cannot conclude this about everyone in general, for it is said: “the death of sinners is cruel” (Ps. 33:22), and there is no need to despair, but try to reconcile your conscience with repentance and humility and hope in the ineffable mercy of God. Letter 19. Responsibilities of recipients. About the use of money. About dancing and cards. About predestination Are you asking about responsibilities towards your perceived adult godchildren, and whether to accept them in advance? The duty is that they be firm in the Orthodox confession and not deviate from it; This was also the case in former times, that they did not baptize without guarantors. When receiving infants, the recipients give denials and vows for them, because they themselves cannot, and after that they must be taught the sacraments of faith and commandments; and adults make their own denials and vows. One cannot continue to refuse to perceive them if there are no others who are trustworthy. That’s what I understand, but maybe there are rules for this, and others know better. Regarding the use of money - one must have a prudent consideration, taking into account the capital and the needs of the family and household expenses, feeling the heartfelt feeling - is there any stinginess; but even if you give without calculation: give only once, you also need to give it after. This will already be a vain giving; but you need to look: the need of the person, the necessity and your opportunity. “Be ye wise like a serpent, and your aims like doves” (Matthew 10:16). NN can also agree with this. A difficult question about children: when they are with family and peers, should they be allowed to play cards and dance? I don’t know how to solve this. What has become part of the customs of secular addresses is difficult to resist when communicating with the world. Simply, you need to be a confessor, enduring reproaches, ridicule and contempt. But even allowing cards from a young age can, over time, turn into a habit and even a passion; also dancing, which one wise preacher called “Herodia’s art,” and which the world considers an innocent pleasure in society, but in essence they are sinful. How much can one need to instill in children that both are harmful to them; but they, looking at other children practicing these pastimes, will either envy them or condemn them, and consider themselves better than them. And here it is appropriate to have wisdom, but not with your own mind, but to pray to the Lord to make you wise in what to do in raising your children, and to save them from the corrupting spirit of harmful worldly customs. I can’t say anything more to this question. Regarding predestination, church teachers clearly indicate that predestination occurs according to the foreknowledge of God, and is not simply predetermined to man. God sees our deeds and those that have not yet been done, and according to them he predetermines punishment or reward. But man’s autocracy is not constrained by this. Why should we enter into the affairs of God? They are incomprehensible to us. I advise you to read about predestination in the sermons of Elijah Miniatia, Bishop of Cephalonite in the 1st week of Lent. Even in the interpretation of the Sunday Gospels of the Right Reverend Nikephoros of Astrakhan on the Week of the Samaritan, the conversation in the Gospel about predestination. There is quite a bit of explanation about this subject. Letter 20. About women's monasteries. The need for temptation. Do not seek warm prayer: this is a gift from God; consider yourself unworthy of it. Humility is a great blessing The false concept and judgment about nunneries, which you yourself had, is worldly wisdom. They do not understand that there is a calling from God to this life, without which man himself cannot leave the world with its attractive and seductive pleasures, which, although they are often dissolved by sorrows and illnesses. Having entered the monastery, we have one desire - the salvation of the soul, but we need various kinds of trials, temptations and sorrows, so that through them we can recognize the spiritual ailments, infirmities and various passions hidden in us, and through sorrows and temptations receive spiritual healing, and not as you picture in your imagination: “a quiet monastery - prayer, calm execution of orders,” this is a mechanical life. And what kind of battles and temptations await those who have entered the field of this spiritual feat, you have no idea about this. If you read carefully the first four words, or degrees of St. John Climacus, you will understand theoretically, but it is still far from experience. You do not need to experience in detail the entire way of monastic life; but I will say that the very things that are considered gossip are of benefit to spiritual workers. This gossip concerns them; Of course, they will be offended, but in this way they will recognize their weakness and take care of their healing: with patience, self-reproach and humility. And if they had not received those reproaches, they would have lost the benefit. Not all of the same mind and structure; others gain wisdom in a different way from spiritual warfare and achieve humility, some through simplicity and humility. But if you go through one mechanical life, without any temptation, then you can fall into pride and delusion. But this life does not belong to you; follow the path on which the Lord has placed you; be a humble Christian, a wife who loves her husband and a mother who takes care of her children: this is your duty. Pray to God to grant you help “as in these, so in all your affairs”; but it is impossible for those living in the world to avoid temptations of this kind through the knowledge of their weaknesses and through humility. While going through virtue, one cannot avoid sorrows; read the 34th, 35th and 37th words of Saint Isaac the Syrian; you will find a lot of benefit in them. You are looking for warm prayer, but this cannot be approved. If you happen to pray with the warmth of your heart, then you already think that this is your salvation, and this can lead to deception: that is why the Lord does not allow you to rely on it, but allows you to be confused by thoughts and overcome by sleep. The purity of prayer, its warmth, tears and so on - all this is a gift from God; but it is given to the humble; for they can no longer ascend with their minds, but only see their own badness, and like a publican they cry out to God for mercy. And leave the gift to the discretion of God: He knows to whom and when to give it. Saint Isaac in the 34th word writes on the 63rd page: “a gift without temptation is destruction to those who receive it,” and read further. Humble prayer is pleasing before God, but the one to which we ourselves give a price, also evaluate our zeal and through this we ascend with our minds, is not pleasing to God. Let us leave it to God to give our prayers a price, and we must consider all ours as nothing; but not to give up prayer, even if it turns out to be cold for us; we do not know the Providence of God, why He takes away from us the feeling of warmth, but allows dryness, despondency, laziness, etc., all this for our prosperity 3 . If you ever happen to enjoy the warmth of prayer and then be taken away, then you should not be discouraged, but humble yourself. Read in the 4th part of the Philokalia, in St. John of Carpathia, chapters 70–71. At the beginning of the calling to spiritual life, the Lord visits with His grace and various consolations, but afterward takes them away and plunges us into the fire of various temptations and sorrows, so that our self-loving and glory-loving dispensation is completely incinerated by the fire of temptation and would have no hope in itself and in its own deeds, but in the mercy and love of God. Humility is a great blessing. Letter 21. After joy, expect sorrow. God accepts the prayer of the humble. What to do when there is no one to consult with? With humility, make up for the lack of doing God’s commandments. About reckless vows. About life insurance You write about your sorrows, which often visit you, and even more so after coming from us, where you were spiritually consoled and strengthened by the grace of God. It is right that your acquaintance told you that after joy you must expect sorrows: so the holy fathers teach us that it is impossible and unprofitable to remain like this. Saint Isaac writes: “After joy, meet sorrow, and when you find peace unchanged, then be afraid.” Read the 78th word; you will see how much we need temptations. You cannot put a price on your residence; but you, at least, try as much as possible to live according to piety, as well as NN. The Apostle says: “But all who want to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim. 3:12), even Saint Isaac in the 35th word writes: “but from this it is known that God has provided for (a person) when He sends him sorrows.” Your grief over the fact that you couldn’t pray fervently and earnestly is wrong. Can a humble person ever think that he is praying well: he always sees his own weakness and does not dream of the height of prayer, but cries out like a publican, and God accepts the prayers of the humble and gives them a price, and not we ourselves. In unforeseen cases, not having time to ask the one to whom you are informing what to do, you must resort to the Lord with prayer up to three times, as Saint Barsanuphius writes about this. Thank God that what I wrote in my letter brought you benefit; but attribute this not to me, but to Him who is able to open the mouths of the dumb, and thank Him, asking for help to understand many other things that we misunderstand. You are embarrassed by seeing your complete failure to fulfill all the commandments, and you are afraid that your whole life will pass only in intention; what will be the end? Read from Saint Isaac the Syrian in the 34th word on page 168: “the reward is not for doing the commandments, but for humility; when the strength of the former (doing) becomes impoverished, then humility becomes pleasant in their place.” And we also offer what is written out from the book of Peter Damascene, so as not to despair, but to repent and humble yourself. However, this should not be a reason for us to be careless and weakened, but rather not to be embarrassed, but to humble ourselves: when correcting something, not to rise up, and when there are shortcomings, not to lose heart, but to observe the middle; and when God sees in us the guarantee of humility, He will help us in doing good deeds; and while this is not there, then through our very efforts and weaknesses we acquire humility and involuntarily see our own thinness and poverty. But we also need to know that we are spiritual warriors and are always in a fight with invisible enemies; when we struggle with various passions, when we are not overcome by the action of these, we are led into arrogance and opinion of ourselves; and therefore it is necessary to have a weapon against them - humility. However, there are also significant changes in our dispensation: it seems that I wrote to you to read the 43rd chapter of Callistus and Ignatius, in the 2nd part of the Philokalia; it is clearly expressed there. May God grant that the girl will be useful to your children and will facilitate your work in this matter, and even more so after so many labors and exploits that you have undertaken with the sick. Thank God that He helped you take care of the little orphan. He Himself is the guardian of orphans. My letters or some of them to my mother, in case of need like the one you write about, can be shown; and I asked you not to show them to everyone who is curious; Not everyone is imbued with the same mind. I have never seen anything in Scripture about vows that should be given with blessing; I know that they give simply; but there are vows that are reckless and difficult to fulfill. In this regard, it is necessary to leave it to the spiritual father to decide; he can change it to something else that is convenient to do. But I can’t give advice about life insurance, that is, providing a pension for the family: I haven’t read about it anywhere in the holy books. This is not a matter of my mind, but only here the lack of faith in God’s Providence and our mentality to artificially provide for ourselves or our family is manifested. I cannot prohibit, but I cannot give advice, and even more so, blessings. We have the best means of security - the commandment of God: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). Letter 22. Recognizing one’s unworthiness when receiving the Holy Mysteries, one should not be embarrassed by this, but should be humbled. Prayer without humility leads to delusion During Great Week you prepared for the communion of the Most Pure Mysteries of Christ, and I believe that you were worthy of receiving them with your family, on the day of remembrance of the Last Supper on Maundy Thursday, and I earnestly congratulate you all on this gift. But I notice that during the preparation for the sacrament, that is, during the fast, you were confused about the fact that you had prepared poorly, prayed little, fasted absent-mindedly, and do you dare, having prepared so poorly, to proceed to the terrible sacrament? You have not offered a single fervent prayer, not a single good deed, and your repentance is so cold and careless, and so on. You don’t see that this confusion comes from the opposite, and you can never be at peace with it. Did you think that once you were well prepared, you could start with dignity? But this is wrong; No matter how much we prepare, we still cannot begin with dignity. Only the consciousness of our unworthiness, a contrite and humbly heart, is accepted by God, and out of His ineffable goodness and mercy He is worthy of this great sacrament. I am sure that you truly wanted to prepare yourself for it, but then arrogance intervened; and not seeing herself able to do this or that, she did not humble herself in her weakness; then the enemy attacked you with confusion, but in it there is no repentance, no humility, no peace. When we read not only with our lips, but in the feeling of our hearts: “I know my iniquity and take away my sin before me,” then the fruit of this will be: “a contrite and humble heart,” which “God will not despise” (Ps. 51:5, 19). But if I didn’t feel this in myself, but on the contrary, dryness and coldness, then even here there is no need to be embarrassed, but to humble myself, which humility we should involuntarily feel; and when we are embarrassed, we do not receive any benefit. And you fell behind from the Jesus Prayer, which you had, when talking with others: it is clear that without you noticing how you dreamed about this, then, for your benefit, your weakness was shown to you, so that you humble yourself. Whoever uses this spiritual sword must be humble, for then only his enemies are struck, and without it many fall into incurable delusion. I advise you not to stretch to such a height. But in freedom, in passionate movements, in weakness, call on God with this prayer with humility. I will send you an extract: “a warning to those who undergo this prayer.” Letter 23. What to do when it is impossible to fulfill two commandments at the same time? Self-reproach calms us, but blaming others deprives us of peace. About undistracted prayer. You must have humility in everything In your perplexities and sorrows, you seek peace from me, but what am I? The merciful Lord is able to give you reason and peace. Our life is associated with various sorrowful incidents, through which we learn patience, and recognizing our weakness - humility; and without this, sometimes we think to go right, we get carried away into arrogance and pride, we become strict judges of others, and we forget our sins. You are, as it were, between two such reasons that you need to please one and upset the other, but you could not succeed in this, despite all your good intentions and efforts. You describe the mistakes you have made, where do they come from? From the desire to do better; and perhaps vanity and subtle conceit were grafted into this, and therefore could not be durable. And the temptation of freedom certainly had to be presented. Seeing a loved one in need and not giving money, where is the love? And what kind of disposition could he have towards you? By giving money, you break the commandment... and that’s bad. Ho, когда предлежат к исполнению две заповеди, и надобно одну из них преступить, то святые отцы дают совет меньшую преступить, а большую исполнить. Заповедь есть чтить родителей, заповедь и о тайне супружества: «оставит человек отца своего и матерь, и прилепится к жене своей, и будут два в плоть едину» ( Еф.5:31 ). And when they are united by the flesh, can the external belongings be divided? And in order not to cause embarrassment, it is necessary not to bring this to her attention. This also bothers you, that, having been frank before, you now have to hide; why is this? Out of necessity and for the sake of common peace. Видишь и сама свою ошибку, что излишним откровением и той и другой стороне сделалось между ними какое-то охлаждение. Что сделано, того нельзя возвратить, а надобно укорять себя, каяться пред Богом и во смирении успокаивать себя, а смущение отгонять и не покоряться оному. Another circumstance that upsets you is that sometimes, when you see in NN some kind of grief that comes from suspicion, which in your opinion is wrong, and you, trying to convince him of the opposite, thereby make him a nuisance, which you do not want at all. And in such cases, with a good disposition, calling on God’s help, you can tell him the truth not for teaching, but to alleviate his difficult situation, however, not urgently, but humbly with love. During the embarrassment, he may not accept your words, but they will be useful later; а если ты точно знаешь, что ошибочно его подозрение, и будешь с ним соглашаться, то больший сим причинишь ему вред. Self-reproach calms us, but blaming others deprives us of peace; even if they were definitely guilty, they are an instrument of God’s Providence, with which He acts in the matter of our salvation, and without God’s permission they cannot do anything to us. I don't think I have any unfavorable opinion about NN. We, all people, are in the struggle and struggle of spiritual warfare; we fall and rise, we accept wounds and heal them with repentance and humility. Who will say about himself: “I am not like other men, predators, unrighteous, adulterers, or like this publican” (Luke 18:11)? To the question about common prayer with NN - do not leave, but pray with him when he calls and even when he does not call (for custom). Try to collect your distracted thoughts, but don’t think that you didn’t pray absent-mindedly, that’s why things go well, but after absent-minded prayer they go the other way around. For being distracted, reproach yourself and humble yourself. God accepts the prayer of the humble; and the opinion that she did not pray absent-mindedly is not approved. When you pray together, peace will remain between you; the cunning enemy, perhaps, induces absent-mindedness in order to remove you from communication, and also the confusion that happens between you due to the suppression of the enemy occurs: self-reproach and humility are strong weapons against him. In all these cases, that is, in conversations with certain persons about spiritual subjects, while receiving benefit from them, you cannot speak freely in front of your husband; and the fact that at the sight of a certain face or memories of him, you become confused, and the fact that you think others will notice it adds more; although you have no influence on him, in all, I repeat, these cases, recognize the machinations of the enemy, who want to outrage you and deprive you of peace, and all this is temptation and abuse; don't pay attention to it and don't be embarrassed. But when; If you don’t have the strength to resist, then you must assume that you had a secret opinion about your pious marital life, which you couldn’t even notice. In everything you must have humility: even if you had done everything commanded, everyone should consider themselves to be inexorable servants, according to the word of the Lord. There is no need to notice how your confessor looks at you: he is only a minister of the sacrament, and the performer is the Lord Himself. After all, this is also a plot of the enemy to cause outrage on such an important occasion. As much as I could, with the help of God, I wrote to your questions, and may He Himself act according to your faith and will and give peace to your conscience and henceforth help you in all your affairs to fulfill His holy will with humility. These letters with a foreword by Fr. Leonid, the former abbot of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra, found in the papers of Fr. Leonid, in the form of a special notebook, written by his hand. They will remain unanswered at God’s judgment and will have no justification. About the fact that prayer and other spiritual actions are the gift of God, read St. Isaac’s word 2nd page 14: “Even though God comes about itself, I don’t feel it. She, but if the place is clean and not nasty” (that is, the heart is pure from passions) and further; yes above this on page 13.