Слово 42. Прощальное, произнесенное во время прибытия в Константинополь ста пятидесяти епископов

1. How do you find my deeds, dear shepherds and fellow shepherds? Red are your feet, those who bring good tidings of peace and good (Isa. 52:7) with which you came; especially red for me, to whom you came at the right time with the intention not to convert the lost sheep, but to visit the wandering shepherd. How does my journey seem to you? What fruit do you find from it, or, better to say, what fruit of the Spirit, by which I have always been moved and now moved, not wanting to have, and perhaps not having anything of my own? Do you yourself understand and understand the matter and are ready to be condescending connoisseurs towards me, or, just as others are held accountable in the military command, or in the administration of the people, or in the management of estates, so should I publicly present you with an account in my administration? I am not ashamed to be judged, because I myself judge in part and accept both with equal love. This is an ancient law, because Paul also communicated his gospel to the apostles not in order to be praised (the Spirit is far from any ambition), but so that either what had been done would be confirmed, or what was incomplete (if there was anything similar in what Paul said or did) would be corrected, as he himself shows when writing about himself (Gal. 2:2). For even souls obey the prophecies of the prophet (1 Cor. 14:32) according to the good disposition of the Spirit, who beautifully orders and divides everything. If Paul gave the account alone and to a few, and I gave the account publicly and to everyone, do not be surprised at this. More than Paul, I have a need to take advantage of the freedom of denunciation, as soon as I find myself failing to do what I should, and not in vain or in vain. And it is impossible to justify yourself otherwise than by giving an account to those who know the matter. 2. So, what is my excuse? If it is false, expose it; if it is true, bear witness to those for whom and before whom my word is spoken. For you are my justification, and witnesses, and (I dare to venture an apostolic word) a crown of praise (1 Thess. 2:19). Once this flock was small and imperfect, even, judging by apparently, it was not a flock, but small traces or remains of a flock - without order, without supervision, without precise limits; she had neither free pasture nor a fenced yard, she wandered in the mountains and dens and abysses of the earth (Heb. 11:38), scattered and scattered here and there; everyone who happened to find himself an overseer and a shepherd, provided for his salvation. She was like a flock that was destroyed by lions (Jer. 50:17), destroyed by a storm or dispelled by darkness, which the prophets all mourn, likening to this the calamity of Israel, given over to the pagans (Ezek. 34:12). We also cried while our deeds were worthy of tears. For, indeed, we too were expelled, cast out, scattered over all the mountains and hills, as happens to those who do not have a shepherd. Some kind of misfortune has come for the Church; she was attacked by fierce beasts, which even to this day, even after the return of clear days, do not spare us and are not ashamed to be stronger than time itself. Some kind of sad darkness enveloped and covered everything, much more painful than the ninth Egyptian plague (Ex. 10:21) - I mean that tangible darkness in which we could almost not see each other. 3. And I will say something worthy of even greater regret, trusting in the one who betrayed us as in the Father: Abraham led us not away, and Israel did not know us, but You, our Father (Isa. 63:16), and to You we look, do we not know otherwise to You: we call Your name (Isa. 26:13). Therefore I answer: either way I will speak to You, says Jeremiah (Jer. 12:1). Bykhom as from the beginning, when you did not rule over us (Isa. 63:19). Thou hast forgotten Thy holy covenant and hast sealed Thy mercies from us. Therefore, we have become a reproach to Thy beloved - we, worshipers of the Trinity, completely devoted to the perfect Divinity, not daring to humiliate the One who is above us, and to exalt ourselves so much after the example of godless and godless people, so as to call Dominion similar to us as slavery. But, without a doubt, for our other sins, for the fact that we behaved unworthy of Your commandments and walked after our evil mind (for what else?), we were betrayed to the most unjust and wicked men, more than anyone living on earth. The first to offend us was Nebuchadnezzar, 280 who, after Christ’s stay on earth, rebelled against Christ, hating Christ because he was saved by Him, and who replaced the sacred books with godless sacrifices. Eat me up, crush me, cover me with thin darkness (Jer. 51:34) (and while shedding tears, I will not deviate from the Scriptures). If the Lord had not helped me, if he had not righteously delivered him into the hands of the lawless, removing him to the Persians (such are the fates of God!), and for the blood shed lawlessly, the blood would not have been shed justly (here only the judgment of God did not give room for long-suffering), my soul would have been in hell (Ps. 93:17). The other 281 was not more philanthropic than the first, if not more cruel than him, bearing the name of Christ, he was a false Christ and a reproach for Christians, for whom it was both ungodly to act and to suffer ingloriously, because apparently they did not tolerate injustice, and were not adorned with the splendid name of martyrdom, but in this the truth was hidden, and, suffering like Christians, they were punished as wicked. Oh, how we have been rich in disasters! Fire is devouring the red universe (Joel. 1:19); the remains of the caterpillars ate the pruzi, and the remains of the springs ate the moss (Joel 1:4), and then I no longer know what happened next and how one evil was born from another. And who could fully depict all the disasters of that time and the punishment or trial and fiery purification that befell us then? Is it possible to say that I passed through fire and water (Ps. 65:12) and, by the good pleasure of the saving God, breathed into peace. 4. But let the word return to what was said at the beginning. This field was once small and meager, it did not resemble the field not only of God, Who cultivated and cultivates the whole world with good seeds and teachings of piety, but even like the field of the insufficient and needy poor man. It was not a field at all, it was not worth, perhaps, any granaries, nor a threshing floor, nor a sickle; there were no shocks or sheaves on it, but rather small and immature handles, such as grow on the roofs, with which the harvester does not fill his hands, which do not call upon themselves the blessings of those who pass by (Ps. 129:6-8). Such was our field, such is the harvest, although it is large, good-quality and fat before those who see the unseen, befitting such a Farmer and the abundance of souls well cultivated by the word, multiply (Ps. 64:14) it, unknown to many, not united in one place, but collected little by little, like scum in the harvest, and like a forest in the embrace grapes, I do not sustain a bunch (Mic. 7:1). I think I’ll add this, even very opportunely: Israel was found like a fig tree in the desert (Hos. 9:10), like one or two ripe berries on an unripe cluster of grapes, which are preserved, indeed, as the blessing of the Lord and are sanctified as firstfruits (Isa. 65:8), but are few in number and rare, cannot fill the mouth of the eater and like a banner on a hill and like a goldfinch on a mountain (Is. 30:17) or something else that stands alone and visible to few. Such was the former poverty and sorrow! 5. But as soon as God, who brings to ruin and makes rich, dies and gives life (1 Sam. 2:6-7) and by one will creates and transforms all things (Am. 5:8), creates day from night, spring from winter, silence from storm, abundant rain from drought, and all this often through the prayer of one righteous man, who has been persecuted for a very long time, - how quickly God accepts meek on high and humble sinners to the ground (Ps. 147:6), He spoke this word to Himself: seeing, I saw the bitterness of Israel (Ex. 3:7), and they will no longer wear out clay and clay (Ex. 1:14), and having spoken visited, and visited, saved, and brought out the people with His strong hand and with a high arm, the hand of Moses and Aaron, His chosen ones - then what will follow this, what miracles will happen? They are preserved in books and people's memories. For, in addition to the wonderful events along the way and the great rumor about it (Joshua 2:11), to put it as briefly as possible, Joseph came alone to Egypt, and after a while six hundred thousand people left Egypt. What is more wonderful than this? Is greater proof of lofty wisdom needed when God deigns to give a free way out of even the most difficult situations? Through one who is hated, the land of promise is divided by lot; the sold one resettles the nations, and he himself is raised into a great nation, and this small branch becomes fruitful grapes (Hos. 10:1), so vast that it reaches the rivers, extends to the sea, expands further and further beyond, covers the mountains with the greatness of glory, exceeds the cedars, and even the mountains and cedars of God (whatever mountains and cedars should be meant here) (Ps. 79:11-12). 6. Such was once this flock and such has become now - so comfortable and expanded! And if it is imperfect, then through gradual increments it rises to perfection; and I predict that it will rise. This is foreshadowed by the Holy Spirit to me, if I have any prophetic gift, I can see ahead, hope for the future based on what has gone before, and know it by inference, as a student of the Word. For it was much more extraordinary to come from a previous state to the present than from the present to reach the height of glory. If, according to the voice of the One who gives life to the dead, bones have already begun to copulate with bones and composition with composition, and the spirit of life and renewal has been given to dry bones (Ezek. 37:7), then, I know very well, the complete resurrection must also take place. Let those who grieve not rise up within themselves (Ps. 65:7), let them not think that they have anything, catching the shadow, or the sleepiness of those who rise (Ps. 72:20), or the fleeting wind, or the trace of a ship on the water. Let the pitis mourn, let the cedar fall (Zechariah 11:2). Let them understand the misfortunes of others and know that the poor will not be completely forgotten (Ps. 9:13), and, as Habakkuk says, in a frenzy, the Divinity will not hesitate to cut off the heads of the mighty (Hab. 3:14), which is cut and badly divided into superior and subordinate, and the Divinity is especially insulted, reduced to the creature, and the creature is suppressed by equality of honor with the Divine. 7. I seem to hear this word of Him who gathers the brokenhearted and receives the oppressed: widen your border, spread it even wider on the right hand and on the left, lift it up, do not spare the covers (Isa. 54:2-3). I betrayed you, I will help you: I struck you with a little rage and will glorify you with eternal mercy (Is. 54:8). The measure of philanthropy exceeds the measure of admonition. This was for untruths, and this was for the worship of the Trinity; this for purification, and this for My glory; For I glorify those who glorify and grieve those who grieve. This was imprinted on Mene (Deut. 32:34). This is the inviolable law of retribution. But you took from Me walls, and boards, and decorated stones, long passages and bypasses, shining and illuminating with gold, sometimes scattering it like water, sometimes gathering it like sand, not knowing that faith under the open sky is better than magnificent wickedness and that the three gathered in the name of the Lord are a greater number before God than many who deny the Divine. Would you really prefer the Canaanites, no matter how many of them there are, to Abraham alone, or the Sodomites to Lot alone, or the Midianites to Moses - these strangers and strangers? Well? Who do you prefer? Are they the three hundred people who bravely lapped up the water at Gideon’s, or the thousands who fled (Judges 7:7, 21)? Is it the household of Abraham, who were few more than Gideon's soldiers, or many kings and ten thousand armies, whom, however, the few in number drove out and put to flight? How do you understand the following words: though the number of the children of Israel be like the sand of the sea, the remnant will be saved (Rom. 9:27), or the following: I have left for myself seven thousand men who did not bow the knee to Baal (Rom. 11:4)? No no; God does not delight in the greatest things (1 Cor. 10:5). 8. You number tens of thousands, but God numbers those who are being saved; you are immeasurable dust, and I are chosen vessels (Acts 9:15). For nothing is more worthy to God than a word purified and a soul perfected by the teachings of the truth. We cannot bring or give anything to God that would be worthy of the One who created everything, from whom are all things and for whom are all things - not because what is offered is the work of one hand or the excess of one person, but even if someone wanted to honor God by collecting together all the riches and labors of human hands. I will not fill the heavens and the earth with food, says the Lord (Jer. 23:24). And what house will you build for Me, or what place of My resting place (Isaiah 66:1)? Since a lack of dignity of the gift is inevitable, I demand from you what is second - piety, this common and equal wealth before Me, with which sometimes even the poorest, if only high in spirit, can surpass the most noble. For here generosity depends on will, and not on wealth. And I will accept this from your hands, but know also that you will not trample My court, but the feet of the meek will trample it (Isa. 26:6), who have known Me and My only begotten Word and the Holy Spirit soundly and sincerely! How long will you inherit My holy mountain (Isa. 57:13)? How long will the foreigners have the ark? Now enjoy someone else’s property for a little while, enjoy the fulfillment of your desires. As you have counseled to reject Me (Ps. 61:5), so I will reject you (Ezek. 5:11), says the Lord Almighty. 9. It seemed to me that I heard the Lord say this, and saw how he brought it to fruition, and besides this, it seemed that He was calling out to this people, who from being small in number had already become numerous, from being scattered - quite gathered, and from being pitiful - arousing, perhaps, envy: go through My gates (Isa. 62:10) and expand; You don’t always have to suffer while living in the bush, but those who insult you have too much fun! He also calls out to the patron angels (for I am sure that a special angel protects each Church, as John teaches me in Revelation): make a way for My people, and place stones along the way (Isa. 62:10), so that there is no difficulty or obstacle for My people in the divine procession and entry, now into churches made with hands, and later into the heavenly Jerusalem and into there is the Holy of Holies, where, as far as I know, there will be an end to this suffering and effort for those who walk valiantly, among whom are you - the called saints (Rom. 1:7), the chosen people (Tit. 2:14), the royal priesthood (1 Pet. 2:9), the sovereign property of the Lord (Ps. 15:6), from a drop there is a whole river, from a spark a heavenly body, from a mustard seed a tree, a haven for birds. 10. Thus we bring those who walk as a gift to you, dear shepherds; We bring them, we offer them to our friends, to strangers and to the same exiles as ourselves. We have no other offering more beautiful and brilliant than this, even if we sought out the best of all that we have, so that you may know that we, being strangers, are not poor, but, on the contrary, poor, but rich in abundance (2 Cor. 6:10). If this is unimportant and worthless, then I want to know what is more important and worthy of more attention? For if such a city is the eye of the universe, the most powerful on land and sea, as if a mutual junction of East and West, where everything that is most important in the faith flows from everywhere and from where, as from a common marketplace, everything that is most important in the faith comes, if this city, and, moreover, disturbed from everywhere by so many languages, is not important to establish and strengthen with sound teaching, then will anything else turn out to be great and worth caring for? And if this deserves praise, allow me to boast about this a little, because I also brought some part to what you see. 11. Lift up your eyes around, and see whoever you are, a connoisseur of my words! See the woven crown of glory instead of the mercenaries of Ephraim and the crown of pride (Isa. 28:1). See the council of elders, adorned with gray hair and wisdom, the deanery of deacons, not far from the same Spirit, the modesty of the readers, the love of learning among the people. Look at husbands and wives: everyone is equal in virtue; And of the men, look at the wise and at the simple - all are wise in the Divine; on superiors and subordinates - everyone is well managed here; warriors and nobles, scholars and lovers of learning - all are warring for God and, meek in another way, wary for the Spirit, all honor the heavenly host, into which it is not a quiet letter that introduces, but the life-giving Spirit, all are learned in the true sense, all are ministers of the true Word. And of the wives, look at those living in marriage - they are associated more with God than with the flesh; look at those who are not bound by marriage and are free - they dedicated everything to God; on young and old - some are valiantly approaching old age, others are striving to remain immortal, being renewed with better hopes. 12. I also contributed somewhat to those who weave this crown (I say, I do not say, according to the Lord (2 Cor. 11:17), but I will say it). One of them is the work of my words, not those that I rejected, but those that I loved - not the words of fornicators (as one of the fornicators said in our reproach both in word and in morals), but words of very chaste. One of them is the generation and fruit of my spirit, just as the spirit of those who have renounced the body can generate. And I am very confident that the grateful among you will testify to this, or even that all of you will testify. For I have labored that all should bear fruit, and my reward is one confession; I do not seek and have not sought anything else, because virtue must be selfless if it wants to be the kind of virtue that has only good in mind. 13. Do you want me to add something more daring? Look: the tongues of the opponents have become meek, and those who armed themselves against the Divine are silent before me. And these are the fruits of the Spirit, and these are the fruits of my doing. For I do not teach as an unlearned person, I do not strike my opponents with reproaches, as many do, who do not fight against teaching, but with teaching and reproaches, sometimes covering up the weakness of their conclusions, like a cuttlefish, which, as they say, spews out black moisture in front of itself in order to avoid the hunter or to catch it while hiding. But we prove our warfare for Christ by the fact that we fight, imitating Christ, who is peaceful, meek and bore our infirmities; We do not make peace to the detriment of the teaching of truth, conceding anything for the sake of glory to be called lenient (we do not catch good by bad means), and we maintain peace by fighting lawfully, without going beyond our limits and the rules of the Spirit. So I understand this and make it a law for all builders of souls and dispensers of the word: neither to harden with severity, nor to puff up with indulgence, but to observe prudence in the word and not to exceed the limits in either one or the other. 14. But perhaps, at your request, I should also present the teaching of the faith itself, which we contain. For I, too, will be sanctified by constant reminders, and this people will benefit, enjoying such speeches more than others, and you will know that it is not in vain that they envy us, who compete with some in revealing the truth and go alongside others. For just as underground waters, some completely hidden in the depths, others boiling from constraint and, as perceptible to the ear, seem ready to break through, but still hesitate, while others actually break through, so among those who philosophize about God (I’m not talking about people who are completely ignorant) some keep piety completely secret and hide it in themselves, others are close only to being resolved in words, and these are people who, although they run wickedness, however, they do not dare to speak piously, whether guided by some caution regarding the word or resorting to this out of timidity, and although they themselves are sound in mind, as they say about themselves, they do not want to make the people sound, as if they were entrusted with the obligation to take care only of themselves, and not of others; others reveal the treasure to everyone, do not hide the fact that they are sick about piety, do not consider it salvation if they alone are saved, and this good is not poured out abundantly on others. I would like to become with the latter, and those who are with me would also want to, daring with good boldness, to confess piety. 15. The outline of our teaching is one, and it is short; it is like an inscription on a pillar, understandable to everyone; these are these people, sincere worshipers of the Trinity. One of them would sooner be separated from life than the One of the Three would be separated from the Divinity; they are all of the same wisdom, they all adhere to the same confession, they are united by one teaching to each other, to me and to the Trinity. I will briefly outline the details of the teaching: the Beginningless, the Beginning and the Existing with the Beginning - one God. But beginninglessness or unbornness is not the nature of the Beginningless One. For every nature is defined not by what it is not, but by what it is; for it is a position, and not a negation of what exists. And the Beginning, by the fact that it is the beginning, is not separated from the Beginningless, for for Him to be the beginning does not constitute nature, just as for the first to be beginningless, because this relates only to nature, and is not nature itself. And the Existing One with the Beginning and the Beginning is nothing other than the same as They. The Name of the Beginning is Father, the Beginning is the Son, the One Who Exists with the Beginning is the Holy Spirit; and the nature in the Three is one - God, and Unity - the Father, from Whom the Others and to Whom They are raised, not merging, but co-abiding with Him and not being divided among themselves by time, desire, or power. For this makes us something many, because each of us is at odds with himself and with others. But for those whose nature is simple and their being is identical, unity also befits. 16. We do not take it upon ourselves to stubbornly tilt the teaching in one direction or the other and to equalize different opinions; we do not want to arm ourselves against the Three with the Sabellian doctrine of the One and destroy division with a bad union, or to take up arms against the One with the Arian doctrine of the Three and pervert the unity with the evil division. For it is not necessary to replace the bad with the bad, but not to sin in the good, and the first is the amusement of the evil one, who incorrectly weighs our teachings. We ourselves, following the middle and royal path (which is perfection, as those who know the matter argue about this), believe in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Who are of the same essence and the same glory. In these names and subjects, baptism (as you know, he who has been worthy of the sacrament) accepts its accomplishment, being a renunciation of atheism and a confession of the Divine. And thus we do not contradict, cognizing the One in essence and inseparability of worship, the Three in Hypostases, or in Persons, for some prefer the latter saying. And let not those who argue about these sayings shame themselves, as if our piety lies in names, and not in deeds! For what do you want to say, who introduce the Three Hypostases? Is it true that you are not saying this in the assumption of three Beings? I know that you will cry out loudly against those who assume this, for you teach that there is one and the same essence in Three. And you, who use the phrase “Persons,” do not constitute something unified, but at the same time complex, completely three-personal or humanoid? No less, you too will cry, lest anyone who thinks so see the face of God (whatever it is). What (I will continue to ask) do Hypostases or Persons mean to you? Three divided not according to natures, but according to personal properties. Perfect! Is it possible to think more sensibly and speak more in agreement with those who say this, although they differ in several syllables? Look, what a reconciliator I am for you, elevating from letter to thought, as if reconciling the Old and New Testaments! 17. But I must return to my previous word. Whoever wants to create names again, let him speak and imagine in his mind the Unborn, the Born and the Outgoing; Let us not be afraid that the incorporeal may be understood corporeally, as this seems to slander the Divinity. Say also about the creature that it is God’s (for this is also important for us); but do not call the creature God in any way; Then shall I admit that the creature is God, when I myself, in the proper sense, will be God. The point is: if God is not a creature, because the creature is on the same level as us, and we are not gods. If it is a creature, then it is not God, for it began in time; and if it began, it was when it did not exist; and what was preceded by non-being is not in the proper sense existing; and what does not exist in the proper sense, can it be God? So, not One of the Three 282 is a creature and was not produced (which is worse than the first) for my sake, to become not only a creature, but even a creature less honest than us. For if I was created for the glory of God, and It is for my sake, as tongs are for the sake of a chariot or a saw for the sake of a door, then I am higher in purpose. The higher the creatures God is, the less honest I am, created for God, created for my sake. 18. Moreover, let there be no entry into the Church of God for the Moabites and Ammonites, that is, dialectics, disputes and those inquisitive questions about the ineffable birth and procession of God, with which they boldly rebel against the Divinity, as if it were necessary that either they alone should understand something that exceeds reason, or it could not be what they did not understand. And we, following the Divine Scriptures and removing the obstacles encountered by those who are blind, will hold on to salvation, first daring to do everything rather than daring to do anything against God. We will leave it to others to collect the evidence themselves, since many have already committed them to writing many times, and we ourselves have not touched on them in passing. Moreover, in my opinion, it is extremely shameful to now collect evidence for something of which we have long been confident. For it is not a good order to first teach and then study, even if the matter was not about a Divine and such a lofty subject, but about something unimportant and worthless. But to resolve and clarify the difficulties encountered in Scripture is not the work of the present time; this requires a more perfect and greater task than what is in accordance with the real intention of the word. This is our teaching regarding the essential; and I stated this not in order to enter into competition with those who oppose me (for I have already competed with them many times, albeit moderately), but to show you the nature of my teachings, whether I am truly an associate of your dogmas and stand with you against the same enemies and for the same truths. 19. This, sir, is the justification for my stay here. If it deserves praise, thanks be to God and to you who called me! Even if it doesn’t live up to expectations, then thanksgiving! For I know very well that it is not at all reproachful, and I believe you who confirm this. Have I gained anything from this people? Have you increased your property in any way, of which I see many examples? Have you upset the Church in any way? Perhaps I offended others who thought that I was speaking in vain, and to whom I opposed my word. But, as far as I am aware of myself, I have not offended you in any way. I have not taken an ox from you, says the great Samuel, when he contended with Israel for a king, nor a reward for your souls; The Lord is the witness in you (1 Sam. 12:5), I took neither one nor the other, he continued, and I will not list this in detail. On the contrary, I have kept the priesthood pure and undefiled. If I have loved dominion or the height of thrones, or if I have loved to trample the courts of kings, then let me have no other glory, and if I gain it, then let me lose it. 20. What do my words mean? I am not a free worker of virtue and have not yet achieved such perfection. Reward me for my efforts. What? Not what some would think, who are capable of suspecting anyone, but what it is safe for me to desire. Calm me down from long-term labors, respect this gray hair, honor my pilgrimage and bring in my place another, persecuted for you, whose hands are clean, whose word is not unreasonable, who could please you in everything and bear with you church cares, for the present time especially requires such shepherds. And you see the state of my body, exhausted by time, illness, and labor. Why do you need an old man who is timid, weak, dying, so to speak, every day, not only with his body, but also with his worries - an old man who I have difficulty telling you even this? Trust the teacher's voice, as they have never denied him faith. I am tired of listening to the accusations of my meekness; tired, arguing both with words and with envy, with enemies and with one’s own: some strike in the chest and have less time, because it is not difficult to beware of an obvious enemy; others mean the ridge and cause more grief, because the unsuspected is more destructive. If I were the helmsman, and even the most knowledgeable one, but we were surrounded by a vast sea, stormily agitated around the ship, and at the same time there was a strong mutiny between the swimmers, everyone would argue about this and that and drown out each other and the waves, then I, sitting at the helm, how long could I fight both the sea and the swimmers and comfortably save the ship from a double storm? Where salvation is difficult, when everyone is working towards one thing by all means, how can one not drown when everyone is opposing each other? 21. Do I need to talk about anything else? But how can I endure this sacred warfare? For let some warfare be called sacred, just as barbaric warfare is. How will I unite and bring to unity those who sit and shepherd one against the other, and with them the people, who are divided and brought into conflict, just as during earthquakes neighboring and close places are scattered, or during contagious diseases servants and household suffer, because the disease is conveniently transmitted from one to another? And not only this people, but entire parts of the universe are carried away by the same rebellious spirit, so that the East and the West are divided into two opposing sides, and there is a danger that, while they constitute different destinies, they will also differ in opinions. How long will the words be in use: mine, yours, old, new, more learned or spiritual, nobler or lower in birth, richer or poorer in people? I am ashamed of old age when they give me, saved by Christ, a name from something else. 22. Horse showmen, spectacles, and those expenses and worries that you indulge in with equal fury are unbearable to me. And we now harness and then re-harness our horses, indulge in raptures, almost beat the air like them, throw dust to the sky like frantic people; arguing for others, we satisfy our own passion for arguing, we become poor evaluators of competition, unjust judges of cases. Now we have one throne and one faith, if this is what our leaders instill in us; Tomorrow a contrary wind will blow and our thrones and faith will be different. Along with enmity and friendship, names change, and what’s worse is that we are not ashamed to say the opposite in front of the same listeners and we ourselves do not stand in the same place, because the love of disputes makes us one way or another, and in us there are the same changes, ebbs and flows, as in Euripus. When children play and serve as a toy for others in the square, it would be shameful and uncharacteristic for us, leaving our own affairs, to interfere with their games, because children's amusements are indecent to old age. So, when others carry away and are carried away, I, who know other things better than many, will not agree to become better one of them than to be what I am now, that is, free, although ignorant. For, among other things, there is also something in me that I do not agree with many in many respects and do not like to follow the same path with them. Perhaps this is impudent and ignorant, but I am susceptible to this. What is pleasant for others has an unpleasant effect on me, and I am amused by what is distressing for others. Therefore, I would not be surprised if I, as a restless person, were tied up and many recognized as extravagant, which, as they say, happened to one of the Hellenic philosophers, to whom chastity was imputed to madness, because he laughed at everything, finding worthy of laughter what seemed to many to be worth intense labor; I would not be surprised if they considered me full of wine, as Christ’s disciples later did because they began to speak in tongues - they considered me, not knowing that this was the power of the Spirit, and not a frenzy of the mind. 23. Consider my faults too. They say: “You have been ruling the Church for so long, circumstances are favorable to you, and the Autocrat is zealous (which is very important), where is the change visible to us? How many of our insulters are there before us! What disasters have we not endured! Have we not seen insults, threats, expulsions, plundering and description of estates, burning of elders at sea? Have you seen churches stained with the blood of saints and churches turned into cemeteries? Have you seen the nationwide slaughter of presbyters, bishops, or more precisely, patriarchs? Was not every place impassable by the pious alone? Have we suffered so much that it is impossible to recount all the disasters? And how did we repay those who caused them to us? Meanwhile, which is good, the opportunity to act has been returned to us, and it was necessary to bring some sense into the offenders.” I’ll leave the rest, but I’ll offer my own, so as not to talk about everything about yours. Weren’t we also persecuted and insulted? Were they not expelling us from churches, from homes, and (most terrible of all) from the deserts themselves? Have we not endured the fact that the people went on a rampage, and the rulers of the regions committed insults, and the kings, as well as their decrees, were despised? What then? We became strong, and the persecutors fled. And this, in my opinion, is a sufficient punishment for the offenders, that is, the very power that we have to take revenge. But these people think differently; they are extremely accurate and truthful when it comes to revenge; therefore they demand not to miss an opportunity. They say: “Which regional leader was punished? Which people and which of those who have thought are brought to their senses? Have we used anything for ourselves to instill fear in the future?” 24. Perhaps they will blame me for this (for they have already blamed me), that I have neither a rich table, nor clothes appropriate to my rank, nor ceremonial entrances, nor majesty in my manner. I did not know that I should enter into competition with consuls, governors of regions, the most noble of military leaders, who do not know where to squander their wealth, that I, luxuriously from the wealth of the poor, must burden my belly, which must be used for excess, vomited on altars. I didn’t know that I, too, needed to ride on excellent horses, stand brilliantly in a chariot, that I, too, should have meetings and receptions with obsequiousness, that everyone should give way to me and make way for me, like a wild animal, as soon as they saw someone coming even from afar. If this was hard for you, then it has passed. Forgive me for this insult. Place someone else over you who will please the people, and give me the desert, rural life and God. I will please him alone even with the simplicity of life. It will be hard if I am deprived of conversations, meetings, celebrations and these inspiring applause, deprived of neighbors and friends, honors, the beauty of the city, greatness, splendor, everywhere striking those who look at this and do not penetrate inside. But it is not as hard as being indignant and denigrated by the riots and unrest in society, and by adaptation to the customs of the people. They are not looking for priests, but rhetoricians; not builders of souls, but guardians of property; not pure priests, but strong representatives. I will say something in their justification: I taught them this, I, who was everything to everyone, only do not know whether I will save everyone or destroy them (1 Cor. 9:22). 25. What do you say? Have I convinced and defeated you with these words? Or do you need stronger expressions to convince you? So, for the sake of the Trinity itself, which I honor and you honor, for the sake of our common hope and for the sake of the union of these people into a single composition, grant me this mercy - let me go with prayers. Let this proclaim my exploits! Give me a letter of dismissal, as kings give to soldiers, and, if you wish, with a good certificate, so that I may have a reward; and if not, as you wish; I will not contradict until God sees what our deeds are. “Who will we put in your place?” – The Lord will see for Himself a shepherd to rule, just as He saw the sheep for a burnt offering (Gen. 22:8). I only demand this one thing, that he be one of those who arouse envy, and not regret, from among those who do not yield to everyone in everything, but who know how to resist in another case for the greater good, for the first is most pleasant here, and the second is most useful there. And you compose a word for my departure, and I will repay you for this with this farewell word: 26. Forgive me, Anastasia, who received the name from piety, for you have resurrected for us a teaching that was hitherto despised! Forgive me, the place of common victory, Shiloh, in which we first erected the tabernacle, which we carried for forty years and wandered through the desert! Forgive me, great and glorious church, a new heritage, a church that has received true greatness from the Word, a church that was formerly Jebus, and through me has been made Jerusalem! Forgive me for other churches that are close in beauty to Anastasia, churches that, like bonds, connect different parts of the city and are assigned to the part that is adjacent to each; churches that I, who have so much weakness, did not fill, but grace filled with me in despair! Forgive me, apostles, beautiful village, my teachers in asceticism, although I rarely triumphed in your honor, carrying in my body, for my own benefit, perhaps the same Satan that was given to your Paul (2 Cor. 12:7), for the sake of which I am now moving away from you! Forgive the pulpit - this enviable and dangerous height; forgive me, council of bishops and priests, venerable in rank and years; forgive all who serve God at the sacred meal and approach those who approach God (Lev. 10:3)! Forgive me, the standing of the Nazarenes, the harmonious psalmody, the all-night standing, the honesty of virgins, the decency of wives, the crowds of widows and orphans, the eyes of the poor, directed towards God and towards us! Forgive me, hospitable and Christ-loving houses, helpers of my weakness! Forgive me, lovers of my words, forgive these popular trends and confluences, and these canes that write openly and secretly, and this lattice that can barely withstand those who are crowding to listen! Forgive me, kings and royal palaces and royal servants, members of the household 283, maybe they are faithful to the king (I don’t know about this), but for the most part they are unfaithful to God! Splash your hands, exclaim in a shrill voice, raise your vita up! The tongue, hostile and prophetic for you, has fallen silent. Although he will not completely fall silent and will still argue with his hand and ink, for the present we are silent. 27. Forgive me, great and Christ-loving city! For I will testify to the truth, although this zeal is not according to reason (Rom. 10:2), separation has made us more forgiving. Come to the truth; change your life even if it’s too late; Honor God more than you usually do! The change of life is not at all shameful; On the contrary, the storage of evil is disastrous. Sorry, East and West! For you and from you we suffer attack: the witness of this is He who will reconcile us, if not many imitate my removal. For those who have departed from the thrones will not lose God, but will have a high pulpit, which is much higher and safer than these pulpits. And above all and most of all I will exclaim: forgive the Angels, overseers of this Church and also my stay here and departure from here, if only my deeds are in the hand of God! Forgive me, the Trinity is my thought and decoration! May you be preserved among this people of mine and may you preserve them (for they are mine, although my life is arranged differently); let it be proclaimed to me that You are always exalted and glorified by him both in word and in life! Chad! Keep the traditions (1 Tim. 6:20), remember how they stoned me. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all, amen (Rom. 16:24)! The royal eunuchs, who were mostly infected with the Arian and Macedonian heresies.