How to create an Orthodox family

The collection “How to Create an Orthodox Family” systematizes the views of St. Philaret of Moscow (Drozdov) to create a Christian family and raise children. The publication consistently reveals the spiritual foundations of marriage, starting with its understanding as a sacrament established by God himself in paradise (Gen. 2:18–24). The central place in the work is occupied by the idea that the family is a small church, and the spiritual health of both individuals and society as a whole depends on its well-being. The responsibilities of husbands and wives are discussed in detail, based on the words of the Apostle Paul: for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and for wives to obey their husbands as the head of the family. Particular attention is paid to the ideal of the Christian wife, who is described not simply as a helper, but as an ascetic, whose virtue is manifested in hard work, wisdom, meekness and thrift. In the issue of raising children, the emphasis is on the need to combine “punishment and the teaching of the Lord,” that is, reasonable severity and religious education, designed to lay in the child the foundations of piety and fear of God as the beginning of wisdom. The book reveals the meaning of parental blessing as a spiritual force that establishes children’s homes, and the importance of honoring parents, which, according to the teachings of the saint, is the key to longevity and prosperity. The work serves as a deep theological understanding of the family as a school of salvation and the path to the Kingdom of Heaven. Contents How the first family arose Responsibilities of spouses The ideal of a Christian wife How to give names to children The teaching of the Word of God on raising children Religious education of children What is most important in upbringing About honoring parents About parental blessings Family and the state How did the first family come about? “Marriage is a sacrament in which, with the bride and groom freely promising their mutual marital fidelity before the priest and the church, their marital union is blessed in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the church and the grace of pure unanimity is asked for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children.” Marriage was established by God Himself in paradise. And the Lord God said: It is not good for man to be alone; Let us make him a helper like him (Gen. 2:18). And the Lord God created a wife from the rib he had taken from the man, and brought her to the man (v. 22). The “law of marriage” is contained in the following words: for this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife; and the two will become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). “The marital union is important: God has entrusted it with the continuation of the existence of the human race.” The husband and wife “receive from the Creator the blessing of the multiplication of their family, according to His intentions, in purity of motives and the joy of love for children” (Gen. 1:28). “Conception and birth do not take place without the Providence of God; both are God’s work, God’s gift.” For spouses, “it is considered a blessing and happiness to see their children.” Spouses are required to keep “the marriage honest and blameless” and to live chastely. “Virginity and marriage are not for everyone, but chastity is for everyone. For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, teaching us that, having rejected ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live chastely, righteously and godly in this present age (Titus 2:11-12). What does chaste mean? Either in the purity of virginity, or in the honesty of marriage, in both cases with the rejection of worldly lusts, and especially carnal lusts, which wage war on the soul” (1 Pet. 2:11). Therefore, spouses “must flee from carnal, impure love.” “Under the name of chastity, the Savior teaches more than just bodily purity: that anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). In the same way, in the words of the commandment - do not covet your sincere wife - “voluptuous thoughts and desires or internal adultery are prohibited,” not to mention that “abomination, which the Apostle Paul advises Christians not to talk about (Eph. 5:3), – adultery, when those in a marriage unlawfully turn their marital love to strangers.” “When the sin of fornication is prohibited, then through this marital love and fidelity are prescribed.” “Marriage is important in relation to the Providence of God and to the family. God, having created the first people, entrusted to them and their descendants the further production of people into the world, entrusted, as it were, the continuation of His creative action. What a great gift! And is it possible to think that God’s Providence will ignore the abuse of this great gift and that God’s justice will not befall the abusers? The action of this justice is not always obvious, not always quickly, but for those who carefully observe the ways of God, it is undeniable. David had a strong faith in the true God, and zealously acted to spread it among the people; but even with such, one might say, merits before God, when he allowed himself to violate the law of marriage, even after repentance he was subject to grave disasters, not only family, but also state.” “The Holy Scripture says about the offices of husband and wife: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her (Eph. 5:25). Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body (Eph. 5:22-23). The close and inextricable love of the spouses, the wife’s obedience to her husband is indicated by the image of the creation of the first wife and her purpose. “A wife is created from a man’s rib in order: a) so that the wife will always be close to her husband’s heart, b) so that she will be naturally disposed to obedience and submission to him, being like a part of him, c) in order to facilitate the mutual communication of thoughts, feelings, perfections and make the human race a single body,” “and so that people will naturally be inclined to love and take care of each other.” “The wife in the Council of God is called the husband’s assistant (Gen. 2:18), this shows her purpose to help him: a) in the birth and upbringing of children, b) in all needs related to temporary life.” The wife is called “a helper like him, that is, her husband, in commemoration of: a) the same nature with him, in contrast to other kinds of animals, b) his closest service (1 Cor. 11:9), c) constant conversation with him and inseparable cohabitation.” An ancient, experienced, royal sage depicts a valiant wife with the following traits that are accessible to general imitation. Taste that you do good (Proverbs 31:18). “That is, she does not crave fun. He finds more taste in work and useful occupation than others in amusements and amusements. Her lamp does not go out all night (v. 18). She does not indulge in a dark and long sleep and does not illuminate the night with a thousand lamps that do not shine on any useful work. Her lamp does not go out, which shines on her nightly work or her nightly prayer; Most of all, the lamp of faith does not go out in her soul in anticipation of the Bridegroom coming at midnight. Make thin garments for your husband, and fine linen and purple garments for yourself (v. 22). She does not want to be a tribute to foreigners for her dreamy grace and whimsical news in clothes: for her, those clothes are better, in which there is less foreign labor. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and gentle instruction on her tongue (v. 26). She does not place dignity in the audacity of judgment, nor pleasure in eloquence; mockery and slander do not defile her tongue, and unbridled laughter does not upset her spirit and appearance; a sound mind and a kind heart open her lips to pure and undefiled words, and soon modesty seals them.” “Do fathers and mothers need a feat to love their child? Does a baby need to learn to love his father and mother? If nature does everything in this love, without achievement and almost without the knowledge of man: where is the dignity of virtue? This is simply a natural feeling, which we notice even in speechless people. Not loving parents or children is a deeply base vice; but love for parents or children is not yet a high virtue, except in special cases when it is elevated by self-denial and self-sacrifice combined with it.” “A sensitive and loving heart must be elevated from natural to spiritual love, so that, immersed in family ties, it does not become completely bogged down in natural love alone.” Therefore, “putting the source of good in God and His blessing that we have or receive, and the hope of the good that we desire,” we must “exalt and illuminate the affairs of nature with the spirit of grace. The birth of children must be greeted not only with joyful feelings, but also with pious thoughts - to look for a happy future for them not only in favorable earthly species, but also in the union of their earthly existence with the heavenly - to give names to children not indiscriminately, or with a superficial analysis of pleasant or unpleasant sounds and the like, but with the thought of pious ancestors, whose souls are able to impart an effective blessing to their descendants, and even better with by faith to the saints, whose prayers and blessings are undoubtedly beneficial. “Naming is not as unimportant as people think, who remember names better than know the essence and relationship of objects. The wisdom of primordial man was tested and demonstrated by the naming of every living soul. In the naming of names by the patriarchs, the gift of foresight and prophecy was more than once manifested. God Himself, when He deigned to give Abraham a new, significant, hereditary blessing - as a pledge, as a seal, as a mysterious sign of this blessing, gave him a new name: thy name shall not be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham, for he has made thee the father of many tongues (Gen. 17:5). The Holy Church, knowing that few are capable of giving names on their own that bring with them a blessing, has established the wonderful custom of borrowing from the saints names that, by the grace of the saints, are always significant and capable of bringing with them a blessing. But, moreover, it is especially good for an infant who is given the name of a saint not only according to custom, but out of faith and love for the saint.” The Teaching of God's Word on Raising Children It is worth the effort to search the Bible for teachings on education. The most ancient information about this teaching can be found in the word of the Lord to Abraham: from Abraham will surely come a great and strong nation, and through him all the nations of the earth will be blessed, for I have chosen him so that he will command his sons and his household after him to walk in the way of the Lord, doing righteousness and justice (Gen. 18:18-19). The main rule of education is taught here: command your sons to walk in the way of the Lord, doing righteousness and justice, or give your children a pious and moral upbringing, in accordance with the law of God. “Piety should be the foundation and soul of education.” “Here they show the beneficial consequences of such upbringing: from Abraham will come a great and strong nation. The father of a family who gives his children a pious and moral upbringing can expect from himself numerous, respected and prosperous offspring. It is not difficult to understand that one who is careless about such an upbringing cannot expect the same, but threatens him with the opposite. Further, we find directly stated rules of education in the Old Testament books, mainly teaching ones - in the book of Proverbs of Solomon and in the book of Jesus son of Sirach. Solomon teaches: Punish your son while there is hope, and do not be outraged by his cry (Proverbs 19:18). Punish means teach, give useful instructions; but also actually: punish for wrongdoing. But the wise one sets a limit to the severity of the instruction and the severity of the punishment: do not act with vexation and irritation and do not arouse vexation and irritation. An irritated mentor does not instruct, but irritates. The noise of irritation drowns out the voice of truth. Instruct kindly; rebuke meekly and peacefully; punish moderately and with regret. Solomon encourages such action, promising good fruits from it. Discipline your son, and he will give you peace and bring joy to your soul (Proverbs 29:17). “The teaching of the Son of Sirach is more strict. Do you have any sons? teach them and bend their necks from youth (Sir. 7:25). Teach your son and work on him, so that you do not have grief from his indecent actions (Sir. 30:13).” In particular, he addresses with bitter words those parents who love to amuse their children and be amused by them, and not teach them, who give them excessive freedom: An unbroken horse can be stubborn, and a son left to his own will becomes impudent. Cherish the child, and it will frighten you; play with him. And it will make you sad. Do not laugh with him, so as not to grieve with him later and then not to gnash your teeth. Do not give him free rein in his youth and do not indulge his foolishness. Bend its neck in its youth and crush its ribs while it is young, so that, having become stubborn, it does not fall out of obedience to you. Teach your son and work on him, so that you do not have grief from his indecent actions (Sir. 30:8-13). “Wise and saving is that parental love which, constraining itself, somewhat withholds affection towards children, is somewhat skimpy on consoling them in order to save this as an encouragement and reward for their obedience or success in useful learning.” “Finally, the Gospel, which in general, instead of the spirit of fear of the law that prevailed in the Old Testament, spreads the spirit of love and freedom, and in the rules of education softens the ancient severity. St. Apostle Paul writes: fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and teaching of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). And in another message: fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, so that they do not lose heart” (Col. 3:21). “This is the teaching of the sacred books about education. It is simple and not complex, because it is intended not only for the wise, but also for the simple... According to these rules, the youth David was simply raised to tend sheep, but a man was revealed in him, capable of shepherding the people of God, a victorious warrior, king, prophet. According to these rules, King Solomon was probably brought up more teacherly, and appeared as a wise king, a prophetic king, and an unusually happy king.” “From the fact that in the Old Testament teaching on education one can see more severity, and in the Gospel more freedom-loving meekness, the question naturally arises: should one follow exclusively the latter and completely put aside the former? To resolve this question, let us turn to the saying of St. Apostle Peter: the heir, while in childhood, is no different from a slave, although he is the master of all: he is subject to trustees and stewards until the time appointed by the father (Gal. 4: 1-2). You see, he talks about strict education as not reprehensible, ordinary and proper. This is all the more remarkable since he presents strict education as an image of how God educates humanity. This is evident from the following words: and we, as long as we were children, were enslaved to the material principles of the world. The Old Testament is the childhood of humanity and its initial education under the slavish fear of the law. Christianity is the highest age of humanity and its perfect upbringing under grace; here, according to the elevated knowledge and strength of spirit. Spiritual freedom is entrusted to him; and then man is no longer internally a slave, but the son and heir of God, Jesus Christ. So, since the Apostle recognizes the same order in the upbringing of mankind by God and in the upbringing of every person by parents and mentors, it is clear that from Christian meek upbringing he does not completely exclude ancient severity, so that freedom is entrusted to the one being educated as he acquires the ability to use it. Does it make any difference whether to give extensive freedom to those who know how to use it or those who cannot, whether they are mature in mind or immature? Obviously it doesn't matter. Therefore, as children grow older and more educated, they should be given freedom. Which of the two directions is more correct, more pleasant and more satisfactory for a person, proceeding from the expansion of freedom to its limitation or, on the contrary, from its limitation to its expansion? Obviously the latter. So, it is necessary to lead children from restrictions on freedom to its expansion. Otherwise, having become too free too early, where will he go next with his desire to advance? Will he not be tempted to shake the fair limits of reasonable and legal freedom? Religious education for children “The first task of educating a child should be education in faith, teaching him its elementary truths in a form in which they can be understood by him. At this age (before entering school) it is necessary to develop in him a pure, simple belief in the power, holiness and goodness of God, who created everything, loves all that is good, condemns sin, but has mercy and saves sinners who repent and desire correction. Bring your child to the idea of ​​the Divine gradually, tell him in clear language: “You see different things around you and you know that each of them was made by someone: a house was built by an architect, a picture was painted by a painter, flowers were planted and raised by a gardener. So, you need to know who made the bright sun, the sky, the stars - all this was created by God, our common Father, the Father of all people. He is everywhere, although we do not see Him, He knows everything we do, hears everything we say, even everything we think. Without Him, neither grass, nor an ear of grain, nor flowers could grow, animals would not live, nothing exists without His will. Your mother is good and loves you, but God is infinitely more good and loves you more. Your father works to feed you, but God does infinitely more for all people than all people together can do.” Your example can have the greatest effect on a child in this regard; Never pronounce the name of God in vain, in a comic speech. During prayer, it is necessary that reverence be expressed in all your words and movements. Teach your child to imitate you, teach him to listen or read prayers with reverence and in a respectful position. He will not yet understand all the words of the prayer, but he will understand the feeling expressed by bowing his head, making the sign of the cross, and kneeling; external movement affects its interior. But instill in him that it is a sin to think about something else when praying to God, and that a silent feeling of humility before God, a short but heartfelt prayer, is higher than a prayer spoken in words without the participation of the heart. So little by little he will comprehend the sweetness of love for God before his mind comprehends all the necessity of faith for man. When a priest or other clergy person enters, show your children, by your example, with what respect and love they should treat the ministers of the church and listen to their lessons. A detailed study of the articles of faith should be left to real schools. But a Christian child cannot be left without an indication of Christian dogmas until he enters school. When you teach him to pray with the sign of the cross, when during prayer turn his gaze to the image of the Lord Jesus Crucified or, like a baby, carried in the arms of the Blessed Virgin: childish curiosity will require you to account for what this means? Then begin to feed the young soul with Christianity, just know how to apply it to age, offer simple human milk to the baby of nature. Say that the invisible God, namely the Son of God, loving people, wanted to be visible and live with them, for this purpose he was born of the Blessed Virgin and lived on earth as a man, in order to teach us to live holy; that He even wanted to suffer and die on the cross in order to cleanse us from our sins; but having died as a man, just as God rose again on the third day, he ascended into heaven and reigns in heaven and on earth and will save us when we pray, please Him, believe in Him and ask His forgiveness for our sins. Convey this not as an incomprehensible dogma, but as a wonderful story; and it will arouse the attention and elevate the soul of the child, and your reverence and love for the Savior will be reflected in it and prepare it for higher understanding in due time.” What is the most important thing in education? “...It is not superfluous to remind parents and educators of children of the apostolic admonition: bring up in the discipline and teaching of the Lord. That is, in word and deed, guide your children to a pious and honest life according to the teachings of Christ. Let us pay our debt of respect to knowledge and scholarship. Let's say, if you like, that people who have deep knowledge about the subjects of nature, humanity and human society are the eyes of the people. However, just as not every member of the body needs to be an eye, so not every member of society needs to be a scientist. But intense reproaches to ignorance and praise to vaguely understandable enlightenment have sown in some people one-sided thoughts that education worthy of its name is only scientific, that education means teaching science, that educated people should honor someone who has gone through several fields of lessons. This means educating the head rather than the heart and the whole person. Happy is the one being brought up if a mentor in the teaching of faith manages to sow the seed of spiritual teaching in him more deeply than other mentors with the seeds of worldly teachings, and if the spiritual seed is nourished by home and church exercises of piety under the influence of good leadership and example. The Divine teaching will purify, confirm and sanctify human teachings and make them usable for private and public benefit, because godliness, as the Apostle says, is useful for everything, having a promise for the present and the future (1 Tim. 4:8). But if piety, although the decrees speak about it, is not placed in the very soul of the person being brought up as the basis of worldly teachings, then they will be truly solid. Unfounded teachings do not improve life, but at the same time they usually make us proud. He who is arrogant with imaginary knowledge and education most often puts himself above his condition. This is how people come about who do not put up with poverty, do not get along with mediocrity, do not maintain moderation in abundance, hunger for exaltation, splendor, pleasures, are disappointed by satiety as well as by not finding food for their passions, are always dissatisfied, love change, not constancy, and, pursuing dreams, upset present and future reality.” “Scientists themselves recognized that scientific education is not always appropriate and usefully applied, especially to middle and lower states in society, when they distinguished it from it and tried to separately arrange for these states business education, that is, adapted to the affairs of these states, to agriculture, to crafts, to the arts, to industry and trade. A sensible idea with efficient execution.” It should only be “remembered that business education only with the help of pious and moral education can form a farmer, artisan, industrialist, trader, hardworking, honest, capable of organizing their own well-being and being good members of society.” Therefore, “they neglect children if they are more diligent in teaching them what is useful for temporary life, rather than what is saving for the immortal soul; if they more carefully furnish their heads with a set of words and concepts than cultivate the heap of their hearts, plucking from it the wild herbs of wrong inclinations and habits, planting in it good feelings towards virtue, protecting it from the winds of frivolity and from the storms of passions; if during upbringing they do not sufficiently remember and do not adequately use the principle of teaching, no matter how important in itself, just as beneficial for all branches of knowledge: the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, and understanding is good for all who do it (that is, good knowledge is good for those who use it for good deeds); Piety in God is the beginning of feeling (Proverbs 1:7). You are training your children to be future citizens, warriors, literati, writers, artists, industrialists; good, but do not neglect what is even better - do not neglect the education in them of the sons of the Church, the preparation of future citizens of heaven.” “What can we say about graceful education—about educating children in the pleasant arts? In favor of this branch of education we can say; Church singing is an application of a pleasant art to education, worthy of praise and encouragement. Exercise in church singing and similar chants of spiritual and moral content through pleasure leads to benefit; it softens the heart, but does not pamper it, like other types of singing, it excites and nourishes sublime feelings, and not passions; occupying an innocent soul, not only does not diminish its innocence, but also sanctifies it. Let us not hide our desire, without dwelling on whether it will come true, that this pure amusement from education through habit will pass into life and that Christians, as once happened, not only in church, but also in the home, according to the instruction of the Apostle, speak to themselves in psalms and songs and spiritual songs, chanting and singing in the hearts of the Lord” (Eph. 5:19). Usually “they use pleasant arts in education in such a way that, let us explain it as modestly as possible, they are flowers that do not bear fruit and with which are connected thorns that pleasantly sting. On this subject, a pious feeling, a pure moral feeling and experienced prudence should be carefully called upon for advice on in what form and to what extent the pleasant should be allowed, so that under its cover the harmful does not creep in - effeminacy, absent-mindedness, addiction to sensual pleasures.” “Pleasant arts and knowledge provide human life, so to speak, with seasonings and delicacies, and not bread and food: wouldn’t it be strange to carefully collect as many seasonings and delicacies for the table as possible and not worry about whether there will be bread and food?” “The duties in relation to parents are prescribed by the fifth commandment under the general name of honoring them: honor your father and your mother, may it be good for you, and may you live long on earth.” The power of this commandment is especially revealed by comparing it with another: you shall love the Lord your God. "How? To honor the Father and love God? We usually love what is closer to us and similar to us; and what is above us, we honor. Therefore, it seems that it would be more typical to demand love for the father and reverence for God. No, says the Divine law: honor the Father; love God. “To show the importance of family positions and virtues for the subordinate members of the family, it is enough to point to one example, stronger than the law itself, because this is an example of the Legislator submitting to the law. When the young Jesus was found by His most blessed Mother and imaginary father in the church in conversation about subjects of spiritual wisdom and complained that He had abandoned them, then He gave them such an answer, with which, apparently, He freed Himself from the law of obedience to earthly parents, because He was busy with the work of His Heavenly Father. What, as if you were looking for me? Do you not know that you are worthy of being among those who are My Father? But what then? Despite such a high right, He humbly bowed his neck under the yoke of the commandment, commanding him to honor his father and mother: and he departed from him, and came to Nazareth, and did not obey him (Luke 2:51). The duty of family obedience is so important that the Only Begotten Son of God delayed his entry into the work of God in order to fulfill this duty before earthly matter and even before the name of his father, which Joseph bore before the timely revelation of the secret of the Fatherless One on earth, and in order to re-sanctify by His example the duties and exalt the virtues of family life.” “And finally, when the sufferings of the cross tore apart the soul and body of the Savior, when with pierced limbs He hung so heavily on the nails between life and death, and on him the whole world hung over death, awaiting salvation. Neither the torment of all hell, nor the care of the whole world, all times and eternity drowned out in Him the feeling of legal duty to the Mother. This duty, the fulfillment of which was stopped for Him along with earthly life, He then transferred to John, whom virginity and love made worthy to be a servant of the Virgin Mother; and through this, in this part of the law, like in all others, he showed us the perfection that consists in respect for parents and care for them extending to all circumstances of life, to the grave and beyond the grave.” “If, in such difficult circumstances, our Lord showed such perfect respect to His Mother, then, without a doubt, we must conclude that in other cases, although He, apparently, was alienated from Her, alienated not at all out of condemnation of the spiritual greatness that He created for Her by His birth from Her, but only out of respect for the other high duties of His earthly service. Let us remember His teaching: whoever loves his father or mother more than Me is worthy of Me; and whoever loves a son or daughter more than Me is worthy of Me (Matthew 10:37). So teaching, so He had to create, and by example give strength to the teaching, according to His own rule, that the great one in the Kingdom of Heaven should create and teach (Matthew 5:19). Therefore, it was necessary for the Lord Jesus sometime in His earthly life to show by His deed how He loves His earthly Mother perfectly, only not more than His heavenly Father, and how He sacrifices filial love according to humanity to the work of God that He accomplishes.” Thus, “The Mother of Jesus demands that He miraculously produce wine for the marriage. But miracles are not intended to please the Mother, but to reveal the glory of God. So, here pleasing the Mother had to be sacrificed, and for the perfection of this sacrifice the very thought of the Mother and the very name of the Mother were sacrificed: what is a wife for me and for you? However, the hour to reveal the glory of God, which did not come before this sacrifice, came after it, and therefore the miracle, which, apparently, was denied to the Mother, takes place in a minute. So, the fifth commandment prescribes the following “special duties in relation to parents: 1) treat them respectfully; “When parents, relatives, mentors, bosses demand from you that which is contrary to your wisdom, your inclination, your taste, but what is necessary or useful or, at least, harmless, sacrifice your wisdom, your inclination, your taste for the duty of obedience; remember Jesus, the Wisdom of God, whom Joseph the treemaker obeyed.” “But when the unfortunate example and desires of parents distract (children) from fulfilling sacred duties to God, involve them in deeds contrary to the law, violating the peace of conscience, contrary to the true good and salvation of the immortal soul,” when “parents or leaders demand something contrary to the faith or law of God, then one must tell them, as the Apostles said to the rulers of the Jews: if there is righteousness before God, listen to you rather than judge God. And he must endure for faith and the law of God whatever follows” (Acts 4:19). 3) Children must nourish and give comfort to their parents during illness and old age.” “When your parents require help, consolation, service, while you yourself are in need, in sorrow, in weakness: gather your last strength, forget your grief to ease their grief, share with them the last grain and the last drop. Remember Jesus, amidst the torment of the cross, caring for the peace of His Mother.” 4) “After their death, just as during life, pray for the salvation of their souls and faithfully fulfill their wills, not contrary to the law of God and the civil law” (2 Mac. 12, 43, 44; Jer. 35, 18, 19; John of Damascus words about the deceased). “God, in His wise and righteous providence, especially preserves the life and arranges the well-being of those who honor their parents on earth, and for the perfect reward of perfect virtue He grants immortal and blissful life in the Heavenly Fatherland.” “How easy and natural it is to love and honor our parents, to whom we owe our lives, so grave is the sin of disrespect for them. Therefore, in the Law of Moses, the death penalty was imposed for slander against one’s father or mother” (Ex. 21:16). About parental blessing. “Blessing by its name comes from a good word. If you want to find out where the good word comes from, where is its original source and the deepest root of its power, then you will find, according to the instructions of the Divine sage John, that in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and God was the Word: in Him was life, and life was light by man (John 1, 1, 4). Since man was created in the image of God, from this we can conclude that in the gift of speech he received something in the image of the creative Word of God. St. John brings this idea to the highest degree of significance when he says that the very life or power that is in God the Word has become the light of men. The inner light of a person manifests itself in words. So, since God the Word spoke, and was, and, moreover, all good, it is not surprising that a person, when he is in an exalted state of the image of God, out of the fullness of faith in God the Word, whose life is the light of man, from the depths of the goodness of his heart, speaks the word. And it acts, it turns out to be powerful, it does good.” “The world saw that the word of people subservient to us, in union with the truth of God and the truth of faith, and as a result of this, in union with the Word and Spirit of God, ruled over nature, healed the sick, drove away dark forces, and raised the dead.” “If the Word of God, whether appearing openly in the mouths of people close to God, or acting secretly from their hearts, creates miraculous works, in some way imitating the creative actions of the Divine, then it should no less be clear and reliable that the same Word of God, through the same people in the same ways, speaks and teaches blessings, in some way imitating the actions of Divine Providence. So, to bless, in the strongest sense of the word, means to extend the action of God’s Word to God’s creations. The one who blesses is the one who mediates with good will between the word of God and the creation of God. According to this concept, the supreme and universal dispenser of blessings is Jesus Christ, the Intercessor of God and men, the God-man, in whom the Word became flesh. That is why blessing was the most ancient feature by which He was designated even to the patriarchs, for example, to Abraham: all the nations of the earth will be blessed because of your seed (Gen. 22:18). That is why the Apostle, wanting to depict the benefits of Christ to the human race, said that God the Father has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heaven in Christ (Eph. 1:3). That is why (spiritual shepherds), when teaching a borrowed blessing, usually use the name of Jesus Christ in particular, or as part of the name of the Most Holy Trinity, and the sign of the cross of Christ. The priest is the dispenser of blessings according to the order of grace-filled secret teaching. Even in the original decree and legal priesthood, God said to the priests: Bless the children of Israel (Numbers 6:23). And again about them: let them put My name on the children of Israel, and I (the Lord) will bless (Numbers 6:27). And in the New Testament, when the Lord commanded the Apostles and the successors of their ministry until the end of the age to teach, baptize, and generally perform the mysteries, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19), He placed through this the power of His blessing in them and gave them the authority to teach it. Judge therefore whether the blessing of the priesthood is worthy of attention. We should not think about which hand or in which vessel, but from which Divine vine the spiritual wine is served through the blessing of a servant of Christ. From the teachings of the borrowed blessing, parents are in some way natural intermediaries between the creative Word and their children, since in some way they completed the work of creation on them, bringing them into the world. That is why parental blessing is naturally important and powerful, especially if through piety it is elevated to the power of grace. In this way, the blessings of the patriarchs are amazing. For example, Noah’s blessing to Japheth: May God spread Japheth (Gen. 9:27), now after several thousand years how strongly it still acts in the descendants of Japheth, the Europeans, who do not cease to spread their settlements, trade, power, religion, and morals to all countries of the world.” So, parents should “bless their children with a loving heart and try to increase the power of their natural blessing, attracting the power of grace through piety and faith. Children ! Treasure the blessing of your parents a thousand times more than any other inheritance, for through it, by faith, you can receive the blessing of the Father, from whom every fatherland in heaven and on earth is named (Eph. 3:15). Honor your father and mother in deed and word, may you find blessings from them. For the Father’s blessing establishes the homes of children” (Sir. 3, 8, 9). The family is older than the state. Man, spouse, wife, father, son, mother, daughter and the titles of office and virtue inherent in these existed before the family grew into a people and the state was formed. Therefore, family life in relation to state life is in some way the root of a tree. For a tree to turn green, bloom and bear fruit, the root must be strong and bring pure sap to the tree. So, in order for state life to develop strongly and correctly, to flourish in education, and to bear the fruit of public prosperity, - for this it is necessary that family life be strong with blessed marital love, sacred parental authority, childish respect and obedience, and so that, as a result, from the pure elements of family life, equally pure principles of state life naturally arise. The state is made up of families, and family members are formed into members of the great composition of the state. Therefore, “if fathers and heads of families, according to the Apostolic expression, rule their home well (1 Tim. 3:4), if in their household dominion they act correctly and faithfully, judiciously using authority, an experienced word, a good example; if they keep their household in order and obedience, instill in them the fear of God, love for their neighbors, loyalty to the Sovereign and the Fatherland, they guard their morals with a vigilant watch, then in addition to the fact that through this they fulfill the duty assigned by nature, and consequently by its Creator, that they prepare for themselves the fruit of family consolations, in addition to this, by such action they also perform a service in favor of the state, the good consequences of which can extend even to posterity... “God made the following promise to Abraham; I will make you great, great, and make you one of the nations (Gen. 17:6). What kind of valor was it that acquired such a great and extensive hereditary promise for Abraham? This is not the only valor of self-sacrifice with which, by the will of God, he was ready to sacrifice his only begotten son; for this happened afterward; but not so unparalleled is the valor of an immaculate husband, practicing domestic piety, ruling his house well, protecting home peace and family harmony with the sacrifice of his own benefits (Gen. 13), and at the risk of his own being ready to deliver his family from disaster (Gen. 14). So, Abraham in this case represents the image of family valor, and God’s prophecy to him is an image of the hereditary good consequences of such valor.” On the contrary, violating the laws of marriage and family life has bad consequences for children, society and the state. Thus, “an unblessed marriage deprives the family of God’s blessing. Children learn that their parents did not respect the law, and they easily come to the conclusion that they do not need to respect the law any more than their parents. The decline in morality, begun by parents, continues in children. The state consists of their families. Disturbed components will upset the whole. Therefore, it is natural to expect from the violation of the laws of marriage and chastity those social consequences that the prophet depicts: fornication is spread over the earth, and blood is mixed with blood: for this reason the earth will mourn and diminish with all those who dwell on it (Hos. 4: 2, 3). When the wives of the Romans were ready to die for the purity of marriage, Rome grew and strengthened. But when he plunged into vices contrary to the purity of marriage, he fainted before the uneducated nature of the barbarians, but not upset by such vices, despite the fact that he possessed almost the entire universe. “Moses believes that the first cause of the misfortune of the first world was the wrong marriages of the sons of God with the daughters of men” (Gen. 6-14). You might be interested in: