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I sincerely regret your mental illness; which, as I see, was not healed, and you often mention arrogantly, that she was completely healed: and this is, perhaps, the reason for it. This is the fruit of your imaginary spiritual ascent - seduction and then the inexpressible spiritual burden that you describe in your letters. You grieve that you often don’t have letters from me, but I can’t write any kind of mail; I have a lot of letters, and it’s quite surprising to me that new letters alone can be of any use to you; and those that were previously written are no longer suitable: in vain you demand this from me. When some need demands it, I will not bother to write; and if it’s the same thing, then what will come of it? Neither I nor anyone else can help you unless you truly humble yourself and thereby attract God’s help to yourself. Pride is to blame for all your misfortunes; you considered yourself already being saved, based on your imaginary and charming visions; and the saints, with all their holiness, considered themselves the worst of all creation, and through this they were calmed by the grace of God, looking down upon the humble. And you thought that you were enjoying the gifts of grace, after which you felt and now feel the burden and languor of the enemy. All this will pass by the grace of God, just truly humble yourself, consider yourself the last of all. But you are still far from this: that is why an unbearable burden weighs on you; but the Lord does not allow your enemies to mock you to the end: he made you know that you are in delusion, and revealed a means of healing - humility; be concerned about acquiring it. But you are still worried and grieving about your property, and that you are not shown in the Council: what need do you have for this? You went to look for Christ, to be His disciple, and He said: unless he renounces all his possessions, he cannot be My disciple (Luke 14:33). Think about it, are you right to grieve for your property? Both spiritual and civil law forbid us, who have entered the monastery, to worry and seduce about our property: how can you justify yourself? Having gone to the monastery, you entrusted your salvation to the hands of God; then can’t the Lord saturate you physically? Having no hope in the Providence of God, even if he had countless treasures, everyone will be in fear of losing them and will not calm down. I explained to you in previous thoughts that it would not benefit you at all if they showed it to you in appearance in the Council. Yes, the Council is not a place where it has the right to strengthen the estates of anyone; there are other courts and chambers for this; but should you really get involved in a court case? May the Lord deliver you from this. – If you had spiritual deeds, and even small fruits, you would not grieve and beg for your property; I would trust in God that He will feed you and tell your relatives that He cares about you, which I have no doubt about. Put aside your pride and humble yourself: otherwise my letters will be like ice. I see that a new kind of charm has opened up for you; descended from the heights of the sky into underground caves. Lord, have mercy on Your creation! You already believe the visions there, and that you yourself will move there for the holiday; reject all this, pray to God that His holy will be done on you, do not reproach or condemn anyone, consider yourself the last of all. You write that you are sitting alone in your cell, not talking to anyone, and you think that you are doing great virtue; but you are deceived, you do not recognize your passions and weaknesses, and you do not humble yourself; That's why you suffer from delusion. Entrusting you to the protection of God, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, the sinful hieromonk Macarius. March 26, 1849. You might be interested in: