Письмо 86
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You notify me of a saving change with you, that the desire for worldly life has extinguished in you, and you have come to love staying in the monastery; Only your strong and sharp assurance that you will fulfill this promise until the end of your life makes you fear for you, lest the same thing happen to you as to the saint. The Apostle Peter, who volunteered to die with the Lord. Humble yourself more and pray to the Lord to save you from such adventures. For a person can stand in goodness only with the help and action of the omnipotent grace of God, but on his own he quickly flows and strives for evil.
You also notify me of your illness; I advise you to be complacent and accept it as a visit from God, as a sign of His special love for you. For the Lord loves him, says the word of God, and punishes him, and so on (Heb. 12:6). The illness came by the will of God, and will pass: for I am able to heal you, and everyone who is ill, only if it pleases and is for our benefit. I wish you to be at peace with the boss and with all the sisters in Christ; and entrusting you to the protection of God, I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, the sinful hieromonk Macarius. February 1, 1849.
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