Письмо 85

I received two of your letters; - You are the last to inform me of your inconsolable grief for the world and your readiness to return to the world for the sake of an inheritance. My heartfelt condolences about this. However, I thank the Lord that He did not hesitate to give you His help. You write that your grief is beyond your strength, and you cannot bear it; This is true. But why do you forget the words of our Savior Jesus Christ: what is impossible with man, He says, is possible with God (Luke 18:27); Without Me, He says again, you can do nothing (John 15:5). This really happens. When a person is left to himself, he cannot bear any sorrow: everything is beyond his strength; and when he receives help from God, then sorrows become bearable and even unnoticeable. You have been ordained to become a monk, and at the same time all worldly rights no longer exist for you, as I wrote to you. Now, suppose you leave the monastery, of course not without shame, and perhaps, according to your previous rights, you will receive part of the inheritance. What will you do? Will you really decide to get married and forget your promise to devote yourself to God in the rank of monk? As you wish, but I’ll just tell you that there were similar examples, and thereby left the pitiful manifestations of God’s execution as violators of their vows. They do not find happiness in anything in the world: inside there are reproaches of conscience, deprivation of inner contentment, and outside, sorrows and constant failures in business haunt them everywhere, and the hope of future reward leads them to despair. I thank God that He did not leave you in the hands of the enemy, thank Him always, and pray to Him that He will help you to the end, and not allow the enemies to rejoice in your salvation in your destruction. If you stay in the monastery, the Lord will not leave you, and if you don’t, you will see for yourself. I advise you not to have bad suspicions about anyone; each one stands or falls according to his Lord (Rom. 14:4). And no one will be punished or rewarded for the deeds of another; Each one will bear his own burden (Gal.6:5). The holy fathers teach not to believe even your own eyes: for whoever is still captivated by passions and not liberated from them is an enemy through them, and what he wants is what he imagines; Believe only the thought that only testifies to goodness about your neighbor. And the best thing would be if you and I learned to see only our shortcomings; Then we ourselves would suffer less from the attacks of the enemy, for the words of the Lord are not false: Judge not, lest ye be judged! (Matthew 7:1). I will also add regarding your rights to the estate: remember that your mother, according to her spirituality, has the right to exclude her children from inheritance for disobedience; but when you left the monastery, you would have surpassed all disobedience by dishonoring them and yourself; and therefore she would have the right to exclude you from the inheritance. Live in a monastery, thank God, don’t look for much, and you won’t be left without support. I remain the wisher for your health and salvation, many-sinful hieromonk Macarius. January 9, 1849. You might be interested in: