Письмо 292

In your letters you please me, but reproach yourself - reducing yourself to nothing - although in a word; but in reality something else will happen - you scold and pinch, under the guise of jealousy, but violently; nevertheless, what you wrote reproachfully about yourself should be attributed to me; Only I, due to the poverty of my mind, cannot express as much of my badness as it is; and your words are very decent for me, although not entirely sufficient, as I see and feel; have me not only as you write about yourself, but incomparably worse; I’m not speaking humbly, but truly there is such a thing. But despite all my badness, I do not cry for my sins, but enter into reasoning about the weaknesses of others; This is how I deceive everyone, giving them the idea that I am something. So now, instead of being silent and listening to myself, and I delve into reasoning and judgment, I cannot restrain myself; What is this? Is it only encouraging that the willingness to serve one’s neighbor, and if they find benefit, then perhaps my Lord will forgive my sins. However, even that is not mine, but I write what God puts into my darkened mind, I just move my hand. You write that, in your thinness, you do not leave yourself in the position of others, at their request; of them, M. E... K-va explains to you his temptations, fears, melancholy and embarrassment; although you don’t know whether there can be any benefit or consolation in her pitiful situation, it seems that you should take part in the sorrow of others; and even more so when they seek it from us; You, accepting it, speak and let read what you know and what God will tell you; and most of all, just as you rely on God for her, so advise her not to lose heart, but to cast her care on the goodness and mercy of God, who wants everyone to be saved and to come into the understanding of the truth (1 Tim. 2:4). Advise her to read (when you haven’t already) from St. Isaac the Syrian's word 79, and explain it better to her so that she can understand why such obvious demonic temptations and spiritual anguish occur to her; then what is the cure for all this? Humility of heart. Perhaps the soil of her heart will be fertilized, and will accept the seed of the holy teaching and bear fruit; but all this is not ours, but God’s work, to provide healing and peace; Impossible from man, all that is possible is from God (Luke 18:27); and the punishment itself is guilty of spiritual benefit, just blame yourself, and not others. The demonic opinions presented to her about madness and demonic possession must be abandoned and not agreed with them. I don’t think retiring to another monastery would benefit her. Regarding O.I... I will say that he is definitely a pious husband and pleasing to God, many use his instructions: but he is weak and has lost his sight, he allows few people to approach him, and gives answers through his brother living with him. – I don’t know A..., I can’t say anything about her; but only in E-tse, it seems, will not find any benefit, due to its painful mental and physical structure; it seems to her that they don’t like her here; and when she convinces herself that she is worse than everyone else, she will consider herself unworthy of love from everyone; and meanwhile, I don’t think that she is unloved, but the enemy presents her this way and confuses her and drives her out in order to plunge her into even greater troubles; her relationship with her pseudo-spiritual mother does not prevent her from having external ones if possible, but she did not have internal ones; may the Lord have mercy on her. About another family related to you, as much as possible, take loving participation when we do not see any mental harm to yourself or those around you; and even more so when the rulers also make peace with you and do not prohibit you. And I will repeat again, both about the first one and about these: place your trust in the merciful providence of God, who cares about the salvation of us all. I wish you, and all the sisters around you, peace, health and salvation. Mnogohreshny I. M. February 7, 1850. You might be interested in: