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Although I wrote to you, at the last post, in the abbot’s letter; but I also need to write and scold you thoroughly for the praises attributed to me and excessive virtues, which are not found in me at all. It’s terrible to even think that what you write is not found, or barely remains so. For those who want to be saved, this is both sinful before God and useless for me; although I, due to my poor dispensation, see myself far removed from the virtues you ascribe to me, and even more so in need of healing for sinful ulcers, I still need to be wary, because praising my husband is harmful; and: Woe to you, when all men speak well (Luke 6:26). St. Isaac the Syrian writes that there is hardly anyone who can bear honor in a person, even if his morals are equal to the angels (sl. 1). Why should we voluntarily expose ourselves to such danger and not make you angry? If you use my letters, thank God, who enlightened me according to your faith; Isn’t He able to admonish others: yes, He has many people tending His flock, of whom I am worthy to see a trace. Stop talking idle! You mentioned temptation... - but how many times now does the Church repeat to us: “O Lord, King, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother.” Carry this around in your mind more often, and get rid of this misgiving. Where should we go? Here one thing is tempting, but in another place many things will not appear our way; and there will be bitter warfare; both health and strength are exhausted, and the habit of rituals and everything means a lot. When already during a storm your boat has held its ground and has not become bogged down, then in silence there is no need to give a splash to the ridicule of the enemy; where will you find shelter now? There is excitement everywhere. About intrigues, or gifts, to search... I am not an imam, and I don’t know what to say; read Nikita Stifat's 2nd centenary, chapter 58; this also applies; and, in my opinion, it would not be necessary to preface with gifts, but later, in the form of gratitude, and in the spirit of the first disposition, as you describe, you can give. May the Lord rest her soul in the kingdom of heaven to Mother M-ia. – You also mention about yourself: yes, this path is inevitable for everyone, but the end is unknown; This is why the Lord commanded us to watch, for the hour of death is not known (Matthew 24:42, 43; 25:13); and you see and recognize yourself as poorly attentive to this; you need to wake up from this negligence and think about your sins; then, perhaps, the heart will be contrite and humble; but God will not despise the broken and humble heart (Ps. 50:19), and the Lord is near those who are broken in heart and humble in spirit (Ps. 33:19). Oh, be patient, while not completely agreeing to her will, but be guided by the chapters of St. Mark of the Ascetic, about whom I wrote to you. When it is already unbearable for you to do it, then it is better to let it go, let it live according to its own will; her coming to our place cannot bring her any benefit. Is it more likely that illness will take advantage of her, or some other temptation? May the Lord have mercy on Sister X., and protect her from the deception of the enemy: where there is wealth, there the tatie will come. Most of all, talk to her about humility through which the grace of God will always help her. Whatever the actions: warmth and so on, if the mind glorifies - as if from grace, then truly there is charm; but when he considers himself unworthy of the visits of grace and its actions, and sees his sins, then he can be mistaken for an action of grace; Thank God that she was worthy to receive the desired image, and with it what God revealed to you. You and I, seeing our poverty, must humble ourselves more; like beggars who behold the rich royal clothes and utensils, and therefore become more aware of their poverty. Thank the Lord, I feel better, or just completely healthy; only sometimes weakness and negligence, laziness and so on happen; that everything is akin to our weakness and years, although not yet so old, but not young either. And someone told you about my father’s prediction about my death: but we haven’t even heard of it: if it happened like that, then it would be God’s will; If only the Lord would grant me to leave here with repentance, in the hope of His mercy. Mnogohreshny I.M. March 16, 1843. You might be interested in: