Письмо 274

I have already described to my mother the abbess about the death of E. Ya., and now I will only add that I read the death notice twice, and also the builder N., who happened here; We were with him a few minutes before her death, and no more than five minutes later we went out of necessity to Father Abbot in order to invite him there too; and on the way back we hear that she has already moved away. So, we were not worthy to be at her very giving up of the spirit; but there were witnesses: with what faith and love she prayed to Christ, kissed His Image - during the very struggle of life with death; She, praying herself, asked everyone present to pray for her, which was carried out according to her wishes. Considering her life and death, one cannot help but remember Avvakir, who was often expelled from meals because he was intemperate with his tongue, as the holy narrator writes; but we all know what his end was. It can be said about her that many (including you) considered her to be seduced and unstable in character; but such and similar reproaches served her as a great benefit. It seems that she patiently carried them, and I did not hear a murmur from her for this; and self-accusation often came out of her mouth, and, consequently, from her heart: and she faithfully now prays to God for her reproaches, those who were guilty of her salvation. We should find her death both touching and edifying, in order to endure all the reproaches and annoyances that are guilty of salvation; but with the intention of insulting others, or repaying evil for evil, is very dangerous. It is better to forgive, according to the commandment of the Lord, when we want our sins to be forgiven. It’s time for you to make a start with O–yu and not be as sedentary as you described in your previous letter; this is not the job of the silent ones. I leave other matters that do not require an answer. Our memorial for Father was solemn; there were enough visitors who were zealous for him, both near and far. May the kingdom of heaven and eternal memory be upon him! Through his prayers may the Lord grant us a Christian death, peaceful and shameless. For all your sisters and for you, asking for the peace and blessing of God, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner I.M. December 1, 1842. You might be interested in: