Письмо 269

In all your letters you express the same thing: the sorrows allowed to you from your mother and sisters, and we will tell you the same thing again: accept them as your own, and not strangers, and they give healing to your ulcers, reproaching yourself, and not others; how you will find God’s mercy and help in bearing sorrows. To strengthen yourself, read St. Isaac's word 20 and in 51 words the article about which we wrote and talked to you. If sorrows come upon you, upon the arrival of the abbess, do not lose heart, but place your trust in God, and that all of them can only do to you what the most merciful Lord allows, who wants you and all of them, and us, to be saved. – The word you said: “I will go to the underworld” is very reckless; for you have not yet achieved the kind of love that two of the great saints had; one asked: if you do not forgive people who have sinned, then blot me out of your book, you wrote it in the book (Ex. 32:32); and the other: I prayed that I myself would be excommunicated from Christ, and so on. (Rom.9:3); but you don’t have this. However, you must wish and ask, may the Lord deliver them and you from the underworld; for both they and you went to save your souls; and these cases are merely temptations through which we come to the mind of truth. N. F. is afraid to return to your monastery, is afraid of falling into the current sedition and has her heart set on S., where we also advise her to settle. If they grieve you for this, then, considering yourself innocent in this matter, thank God and endure. About S. U-ne, when she was pacified there, give it to the will of Mother Abbess: where she will settle her, let it be so; Apparently, it is not God’s will for them to live together; due to their different characters there could be disagreement between them. F. has arrived here, and in some cases brings vindication. We don’t know where to fit now. Now there is no way for you to go to your mother; and in the spring, as God wills, it will be clearer; So write to them - if the Lord pleases us and we are alive, we would like to visit them in the spring, and maybe even stay completely; but if you want to write to them so that they can prepare a cell and servants for you, then this is unnecessary; when you arrive, then the Lord will provide shelter. You can’t go from here alone, due to your poor health, but you need to take one, something insignificant, but that can serve you on the way, and guide you safely to your destination. And as for your present sorrows and temptations, remember the word of God: measure with due measure, it will be measured back to you (Matthew 7:2); how many people you yourself have insulted, annoyed, cursed and even beaten: then the truth of God rewards you and cleanses you from sins, in order to accept you cleanly into the next century; just try not to grumble, but to thank God: for through many tribulations it is fitting for us to enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22). “These incidents, perhaps, will give you a hand to the silence you desire, and will not allow you to dwell on your imaginary corrections.” Entrusting you and your sisters to the protection of God and asking for His peace and blessing upon you, we remain your unworthy pilgrims, the many sinners I. L. and I. M. September 25, 1841. You might be interested in: