Письмо 172

God bless! While the Lord punished me, He did not give me over to death (Ps. 118:18). You were tormented by passions for so long, but when you realized your guilt and said: “I’m guilty,” then the storm of passions subsided. You always need this medicine and it is decent. In the deception of proud thoughts you become blind, and in the darkness you see white as black, and black as white. You see other people’s vices, you see monastic life in black form. The enemy shows you this so unfairly, wanting to outrage you, deprive you of peace and drive you out into the world, and lead you there according to his will. Monastic life is a continuous struggle with the all-evil enemy - the devil. We fall and rise, are defeated and overcome, according to our constitution - proud or humble; and the Lord the Hero, seeing us exhausted, supports, strengthens and restores; He pours wine and oil on the wounds of the fallen; heals them with sorrows and illnesses, and leads to a good end. And who are we, judges of other people's affairs? And who gave us this power? If we cared about our soul, we would see our sins like the sand of the sea, according to the word of St. Peter of Damascus about the seven bodily works, for “this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health.” Why should you delve into other people's weaknesses and sins? It is enough for you to know your own and strive for their healing; It is written: “The eye of goodness shall not see evil.” If someone ever becomes exhausted in this terrible battle, then it happens that he does this out of ignorance; but you and I have a wealth of fatherly teachings, we study in them, and we do the opposite. We read not to see the vices of others, but to recognize our own weakness and take care of it. You have read the word of John of Carpathia, read all its chapters, they are very useful; also St. Simeon the New Theologian, chapters and his word; read the life of Elder Paisius, there is a lot of instructive stuff there both in his life and in his teachings. I wish you peace, health and salvation; much-sinful I.M. August 17, 1856. You might be interested in: