Письмо 147

In the last two letters you write about a severe headache that happened to you, from which you were even in danger of your life, and you were honored with the consecration of oil and the reception of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. God bless! This is the most reliable medicine - to cleanse the soul; and then you can take medications as prescribed by your doctor. This is not forbidden by the holy fathers, and if necessary, then I advise you not to abandon this; however, trust in God’s help, and you will receive it; If it is the will of God, then He heals the doctor and gives healing power to the medicine. I feel sorry for you from the bottom of my heart and wish you a speedy recovery to the glory of God; just don’t complain, but thank God. In your first letter you write that you have been given a new obedience - in the choir. For the glory of God, all obedience is good and useful. You say that there is displeasure between the sisters in the choir, then what should you do in this case? To this I will tell you: all obedience should, with the rejection of our will and mind, bring us humility, according to the teaching of St. John Climacus: humility is born from obedience. During the course of obedience, various unpleasant encounters, annoyances, reproaches, ridicule, humiliation, etc. usually occur; and all this is allowed by God’s vision for our benefit, so that we would know through this our dispensation, and take care of its healing by the commandments of God, which even extend to loving our enemies. You do not see and do not know how the passions lie hidden within you; and when exposed from the outside, that is, someone who touches you, humiliates you, or despises you, mocks you, reproaches you, etc., you will see what passion nests most in you: pride, vanity, rage, anger and resentment. They lie in us, we ourselves do not know, but having recognized them during reproof, we should not attack people, reproach them for touching and insulting us, and blame ourselves for the awakened passion that was in our hearts; We should thank people for showing them to us and giving us a chance to correct them. We need to reproach ourselves, ask God for help and healing of passions, humble ourselves, and this is not just one time, but after a lot of time, effort and humility we receive freedom from passions. Read the fatherly books of St. John Climacus: about obedience, about meekness, about anger, about pride, vanity and humility; St. Abba Dorotheus: about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor; about the evil memory of St. Mark of the Ascetic, chapter 209; in Simeon the New Theologian, chapter 31; at St. Elijah Ekdik 30, 31,33, 34, 35, 37, 39, 62, 46, in the Rapturous Classes, Mark the Ascetic “counsel of the mind to his soul” and others, conversation by Rev. Zosima; and in others you will find a lot of spiritual benefit, if you force yourself to delve into the work. Consider yourself the last person of all and try not to inflict reproaches and annoyance on anyone, but accept them from everyone yourself. We are spiritual warriors, we have strong and fierce enemies, always ready to defeat us. And when we use humility in our feat, the enemy cannot stand against it, but soon takes flight. May the Lord enlighten you and strengthen you in the field of this spiritual warfare, and arrange for your salvation, which I zealously desire for you. The sinful hieromonk Macarius. October 11, 1852. You might be interested in: