Письмо 146

You explain your grief about what you got for your action towards the world, and ask me to explain this to you, why does this happen? For in your very action your feeling is moved by love and fear. Let us suppose that it is so, and let it not be defiled by arrogance and vanity, praise (which, however, later on, the secret of your heart surely did not escape), but it must be cleansed by the fire of temptations and sorrows, and only then will there be pure love, when you lay down your soul for your neighbor; When you did it, you had time, but you didn’t put in your soul, you didn’t bear the labor and sorrow, but now she appeared; and you turned away into a murmur. What a rude and unenlightened people! You should be praised for this good deed, but they reproach you, and you were clearly looking for praise and reward for your good deed when you did not suffer reproach. Maybe you don’t see this in yourself, but look into the abyss of your heart, you will find a vain serpent nesting there, as if, under the guise of virtue, bringing secret pleasure, and praising you that you have done good, for you see in yourself love and compassion, you see virtue, but there is no humility, which our Lord Himself teaches: if you do everything commanded, say as a servant We are without keys, as if we must create, we must create (Luke 17:10). And when I am an unbreakable slave, shouldn’t I endure everything, and be sure that reproaches and annoyance could not be other than God’s watch, for my correction, as an unbreakable slave; But we have only our righteousness, and it grows higher and higher, but does not give peace; Now consider yourself and the actions of God’s providence over you to heal you. In the note you acknowledge your guilt in unbelief and in the false opinion that this could have happened during idolatry; but then there was Christianity, for this happened in the 4th and 5th centuries after the Nativity of Christ and with Christians, but even today there are many similar cases and actions from corruption, which I witnessed first-hand and not only among common people, but also among the enlightened and educated. Nowadays it is not idolatry, but the actions of the passions can also be called idolatry, as St. Dimitri; but enough about that. February 4, 1847. You might be interested in: