Письмо 142

From all the incidents it is clear that by a confluence of cases and circumstances, in your private life, the time has come for you to experience another partnership, where your autocracy will have more effect, and you hope to receive peace. I wrote to you before that I am in no way against this; If you find your residence inconvenient for yourself, and when M. Abbess agrees to this, then, apparently, this is the will of God: and as I see from your letter that M. L–e is a burden to your living with money, then she too will indifferently bear your departure from her. You write that the transition remains with my consent: may the Lord bless you to move to a new field of your life, and may it help you to acquire true peace, and not imaginary one. Here, too, it is necessary to fight passions: pride, pride, vanity, anger, resentment, and others. Your intention is good, to part with m. L—oh friends; it is good when it is fulfilled in truth, and not through politics, however, even here there will be a struggle; and for this, it seems, you need to look more at the good side of it during the invasion, and even more so in the first years, its efforts to calm you down and feel gratitude with humility, which means can overshadow and absorb its apparent blackness. While passing through the field of monastic life, if you had not seen such temptations that shake you, but had gone higher and higher, as you thought before, burning with love for God and your neighbor, then could you have known yourself and your structure? And then, although it is still imperfect, you still see your blackness, and although you humble yourself somewhat, you will learn more and more. When, two or three years later, someone told you about the current event, could you believe it, being in arrogance? Although you now remember the father’s words, but only now, seeing what is happening in reality; and then, it’s true, I felt the opposite. Surrender to the will of God, and watch your passions; there are many of them in you and me; but we do not see them, but over time their cases will be revealed to us; May they be consumed forever from our hearts, with the help of God and our diligence and assistance of those who bear our burden. Again you are carried away by your dreams and give them faith, as if they were blessed; therefore you have achieved such a dispensation, and you are worth it; Can you avoid such opinions, although very subtle and almost imperceptible, and subsequently be seduced by them to the point of blindness and inability to heal? Could it be possible to do without sleep? R. came to you, offered her money and desire; you need, you accept services and it; mother's blessing - and that's enough. What is sleep for? For your seduction. - Be careful! When you do not accept a dream out of humility and fear of delusion, even if it were blessed, you will not be condemned for this, and if it is delusion, then how will you be justified by believing it? Is it any wonder that this is so when the enemy sees everything that is happening in the sublunary; Of course, I saw R. coming towards you and from conversations and actions I could penetrate her intention and announce it to you. Leave it alone, don't get carried away by dreams. Hieromonk Macarius. March 19, 1846. You might be interested in: