Письмо 141

The most merciful Lord, who wants to save everyone and come to the understanding of truth, foreseeing in our current disastrous times the impoverishment of mentors of monastic life, left the Divinely inspired teaching of St. and the God-bearing fathers who lived an active life, so that those who want to receive salvation would adhere to the right mind, which is found in their teaching, and, not deviating either on the wrist or on the surface, but walking the right path, they would resist passions and, with the help of God, defeat them, succeed in patience and humility, meekness and love, and thus would reach the city of the Kingdom of God. You, by the grace of God, have been vouchsafed, having turned away from the world (although not in the entire sense of the word), to be installed in the monastery of virgins seeking salvation. God gave you the gift of having the books of St. fathers, and partially understand their teaching, and in what way you need to strengthen your spiritual mother and spiritual sister who bore your infirmities, maybe not completely, but as much as possible, and even more so, at the beginning of your entry and sorrowful cases; Thank the Lord that He, by His grace, has honored you with this title, and has been strengthening you in this life for the seventh year now, and you have at least a little learned of the darkness and arrogance you were in, which you covered with humility and imaginary self-reproach, which falsely reassured yourself. But over time, your weaknesses were revealed to you, and your pride had nothing to rely on except to resort to humility, albeit imperfect, but to true self-consciousness and reproach. However, since our passions are diverse and are still hidden from us until someone shows them to us, this work must continue until it reaches complete humility. Pray to God that He will arrange your transition according to His will; if you see unprofitable cohabitation here, and when you can find more spiritual benefit there. Where the will of God is, there chance and coincidence of circumstances will show the way to this. By prayer, ask your mother: will she have this permission and how will God tell her? And then ask your sister’s consent, which, perhaps, is already ready, as I see from your letter, and then, having started to find a cell, if you find one, you must part with it in peace and gratitude for bearing your infirmities with her, and for the lack of payments when you were not provided for. Maybe this even comes to her mind, since your holy dispensation represents to you, too, to give not only your own, but also whoever would give to those in need; and while the time for your separation has not yet arrived, you must live and endure with self-reproach and self-denial in order to heal your passions. You think it would be more salutary to have your own corner, according to your bad arrangement; and the teaching of St. Fathers are opposed to this: I will show them to you, at least in part, and you yourself should labor to add to this with your teaching in them and be forced to do according to them that a passionate person cannot be healed of passions through solitude, writes St. Cassian: “Like every poisonous asp, or a fierce beast that hides itself and covers itself in a cave and oppressive desert, is it not fierce and harmful? However, at this time it does not harm and does not know its own measure, whether it is gentle or evil, as if it does not have any remorse to bear.” Likewise, we, without those who irritate and touch us, can be seduced by imaginary peace, but we will not be free from passions. St. Abba Dorotheos, in his teaching “about reproaching yourself,” page 54, on the contrary, writes about those who reproach us: “we do not want to speak about our brother, as the Lord spoke to him: but if we hear the verb, if we do not suffer, like a dog, someone throws a stone and leaves the one who cast it, and goes and gnaws the stone. So we do, we leave God, who allows us to find invasions to cleanse our sins, and we turn to our neighbor, saying: why did I speak, and what did I do? And although we are able to benefit from such great things, we tell ourselves the opposite, without understanding, as all things by God’s providence are for the benefit of everyone.” And again, on page 118, about the drying up of love: “For this reason, we have God’s help, we must first not believe our own opinions, and with all our might, hasten to humble ourselves to our brothers, to cut off our will before them with all our souls. If someone annoys you from them, or offends you in some other way, pray for him, as the fathers decided, as if you were great, as doctors of your lust, for from these your rage is cooled.” Similarly, Zosima writes: “if you do not accept reproach from your neighbor, but weave thoughts, slander yourself, like a demon,” and so on, read it yourself in his book. St. Mark the Ascetic in chapter 209 also presents a means to destroy passionate movements; and St. Simeon the New Theologian, in chapter 31, shows the reason why we strive for rage, and the means to tame it. And again Mark the Ascetic has a word to Nicholas the monk, where he says: “Unless someone submits himself to be humiliated and trampled under everyone, he cannot be a true Christian.” In his chapters you will find a lot of things that encourage us to be patient; and when you delve into the book of St. John of the Climacus, then you will find a lot: how much reproach and annoyance are needed for those who want to be saved, in order to recognize their weaknesses and passions, and to destroy them; also among the other fathers whom I will leave behind; for even one verse can be beneficial with our good will; I’ll also tell you one poem from St. Mark: “Do not be curious about how, or when, or through whom temptations are found; the propriety of each and their urgent diligence and all creation about this, the cooperation of the one God, is known, but we do not comprehend the mysterious confluence of events.” Try to apply as much of all this to your life and to your organization as possible; and if you are at a loss, since you have a stake in those who serve you, refer to the Mother Superior and rely on her reasoning. Here's some lye and soap for you! This is enough for you to cleanse your spiritual impurities; for the rest, may the Lord give you true reason and strengthen you in doing virtues with humility, to whose protection, entrusting you, I remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. February 12, 1846. You might be interested in: