Воспоминания старого профессора (с 1847 по 1913 год)

Old age loves to remember the good old days, living, one might say, more in the past than in the present. Therefore, readers will probably not be particularly surprised by the appearance of my “Memoirs”. I must, however, say that these “Memoirs” are caused not so much by my internal need to share impressions from the past, which may not be uninteresting for readers, but by external stimulation, namely the persistent requests of my dear colleagues at the St. Petersburg Theological Academy, that I share my memories from many years of my academic service, first at the Moscow Theological Academy (4 years), and then at the St. Petersburg Theological Academy (29 years) and, in addition what I experienced during my student days (1859–1863). The above persistent requests of my former colleagues especially intensified before the centennial anniversary of our St. Petersburg Academy in 1909 and during its celebration. But at first I resolutely rejected these requests, being embarrassed, due to the nature of my character, to put my personality forward, if not to the fore, then at least to a very prominent place, which is inevitable, to a greater or lesser extent, in any memoir. However, on my 50th birthday (November 18, 1913), 6 my resolve wavered significantly. On the one hand, on this significant day for me, a stream of memories washed over me with particular force and was partly expressed in my speeches to the delegates from the St. Petersburg Academy (Emerited Professor and Director of the St. Petersburg Archaeological Institute N.V. Pokrovsky and Professor Archpriest P.I. Leporsky), who honored me with a visit to my Gatchina retreat and brought me something that touched me to the depths of my soul, an address from my dear mother - the academy. On the other hand, amid the friendly conversation on this occasion, speeches began again on the previous topic of memoirs with increased insistence on their compilation. Everything began to tilt me ​​in a direction opposite to my original decision. The final impetus in this direction was given by the respected editor of Christian Reading, who demanded that I write some article for this magazine “on the occasion of my anniversary.” I could not deny the justice of his demand and decided to fulfill it. But still, at first I thought of submitting to the editor something from my academic readings on dogmatic theology. However, in the end, I began to think: wouldn’t it be better to share with the readers of this oldest academic journal my memories, mainly from academic life, and thereby satisfy both the editors of the academic journal and the desire of my dear colleagues in the academy. Something, I thought, from my academic lectures, worthy of publication, may, if it pleases God, be preserved in my manuscripts and not be lost to readers even after my death, and my memories, if I hesitate and think, may go with me to the grave, which, at least at my 77-year-old age (1836-1913), is not far from me. At the same time, the following considerations came to mind. Perhaps a brief chronicle of my life for the elderly readers of our spiritual magazine will present something not uninteresting in the sense that it will remind us of the old days that are dear to many, and for the younger generation it will also provide something not devoid of instructiveness. And then the chronicle of a person who has lived his entire conscious life in a close, inextricable connection with a spiritual school may turn out to be useful in another way. At present, when the question of a radical transformation of the theological school has been raised, will it not serve as a kind of historical reference from the past of our theological school? All these considerations finally persuaded me to compile my memoirs. Here, my dear readers, is the origin story of my “memories.” May they forgive: 1) the inaccuracy of some chronological data, for I never kept diaries or even short notes, which I now very much regret; 2) that I unwittingly place myself in the center of what is happening around me, which I would like to avoid in every possible way, but, as they will see, I was not always able to; 3) errors of memory and biases characteristic of human weakness regarding persons and events encountered on my life's path, although I tried in this regard to be objective and impartial as much as I could, finally 4) many little things from everyday life that fell into my memories and which I did not avoid, believing that they sometimes serve as a better illustration of events and persons than their unfounded characteristics. Gatchina, November 29, 1913 Obviously, this refers to the anniversary of the official (academic and social) activities of the author of the memoirs. He writes more about this at the end of his work. (Editor's note) You might be interested in: