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I thank You, most swift Intercessor, Lady Lady Theotokos, for you marvelously, clearly, quickly and omnipotently saved me from the cramped and demonic confusion that surrounded me (after mass), and during the prayer service you gave me the strength and tranquility to read without stumbling the Gospel about the wise and foolish virgins awaiting the groom. (There were a lot of people in the church.) What does namesake day mean? 19 This means that the Lord gave me existence and included me in the company of those who are being saved. The evil one will often hold our soul: you don’t want to be deceitful with your heart, thought, eyes, tongue, but the evil one forces you, captivates you - and everything changes you: your heart, your thought, your tongue, your eyes, and your face. God! Deliver us from evil! Those to whom we give alms or who somehow offend us are our great benefactors, for they give us a reason to receive a reward from God, the generous, all-good, righteous, all-knowing. We must rejoice at grievances and opportunities to give alms. What do we have? We got the idea from somewhere that we need to take revenge with an insult for an insult or get angry and embittered at those to whom we often give alms. Oh, who recognizes the corruption and perversion of his nature and manages to despise it, crucify it with passions and lusts and do everything opposite to it? Who has so much courage and impartiality towards himself? Whoever wants to be a friend of God must be an enemy and adversary to himself, and not a self-lover; also an enemy and adversary of the adulterous and sinful world. Don't smoke, don't splash water, don't touch me with your finger, don't push me with your hand, don't step on my foot, don't touch my pants on my butt - that's how impatient, disgusting our flesh is, or our old man! Just a disaster! Almost anything happens to him - he gets capricious and angry. Every minute you need to be vigilant over your heart, especially when dealing with people, with your favorite foods, drinks, clothes or anything else, so that your heart does not feel any passion for people or does not cleave passionately to things and does not spare them for other people, for we are all one. We are one body of many (1 Cor. 10:17). There is one God and Father of all [Eph. 4, 6]. Even God has cleansed... do not defile [Acts. 10, 15]. If your thoughts imagine someone unclean, tell them: what God has cleansed, you do not defile. For Christians are the Holy Church. And for them I consecrate Myself, so that they too may be sanctified by the truth [Jn. 17, 19]. All passions are in the highest degree madness, disorder - in a word, lawlessness. Everything created by the Creator is subject to wise laws and strictly fulfills these laws and therefore exists beautifully and beneficially. Man, through his pride, frivolity, oblivion and ingratitude, does not fulfill these laws and therefore is in poverty and, if he does not correct himself, will be in poverty forever. And who is to blame? Of course a man. He has reason and free will, he has internal and external law, he knows what is legal and what is not, grace is given to help - he can fulfill the commandments of the Creator; If he doesn’t do it and suffers and will suffer forever, who is to blame? People! Learn from unreasonable nature to fulfill the laws of the Creator. How imperceptibly envy creeps into our hearts at the sight of our brother prospering or when talking with him or his wife. The devil uses food, drink, money, and clothing as an excuse to hate his neighbor. Give everything, and love your neighbor. The enemy also uses concern for food, drink, money, clothes, and home decoration as a means to disrupt our peace of mind and to distract our attention from God, from the soul, from eternity. Therefore, there is nothing better than to live in the simplicity of the soul, with hope in God, who cares for us, and not making our life in direct dependence on food, drink, clothing and other things, but on God, who feeds the birds, who clothes the grass of the field [Matt. 6, 26 – 30; OK. 12, 24 – 28]. For care or worry about these objects, depriving us of peace of mind, light in the eyes of the heart and bright, healthy, calm reflection, not only does not bring us the slightest benefit, but, on the contrary, directly harms the soul and body: when the soul is restless, then the blood is agitated and the body becomes weak. And the main harm is that the soul falls into sensuality, from its spiritual sphere into the material, falls away from God, forgets His care, offends Him with the sin of spiritual adultery and neglects its heavenly purpose. So, live in the simplicity of God. Worry about nothing... The Lord is near [Phil. 4, 6, 5]. Believe, hope and remember that the Lord, as an inexhaustibly rich Father, will have in abundance enough food, drink, clothing and everything necessary for life throughout your entire life, for He is the Father of bounties; with the Infinite everything is infinite. Your only job is to cleave to the God of your heart, to love your neighbor as yourself, sparing nothing for him, and to consider everything material as rubbish, as water: what you eat, what you drink, what you wear, and what you live in, and your very body, knowing that all this will be earth and pus. Your job is only to cleanse your soul from the ashes of sins, so that you will not be subjected to eternal flame, so that you will be freed from crampedness and darkness and the burning of sin for a long time in this life and you will be able to do the deeds of your calling as you should, and you will be able to philosophize on high. Caring for earthly goods is a thorn in the heart’s eye, shackles of the soul, crampedness, darkness and sorrow, spiritual poison. This and that is not eaten: care - where will it go, will the servants eat it, will they throw it out, will not what they paid for go to waste (and what is money? - land). Is it not because of this vain concern for earthly things that we neglect the duty to please God, is it not because of this neglect of the eternal interests of the soul, in a word, neglect of eternity? The constant experiences of each of us say that because of this. You should not have partiality not only for private things, but also for your entire property, that is, if you lose your entire property, not just any smallest part of it, then you should not grieve, but endure it generously and with submission to the will of God and with hope in God, saying: The Lord gave, the Lord has taken away... blessed be the name of the Lord! [Job. 1, 21]. And not only for things - you should not have partial love for your body, for it is sinful and earth and ashes. What a rich, inexhaustible treasury of spiritual gifts – the Orthodox Church of Christ! What a heavenly wealth of Sacraments, of worship in general, what a wealth of inner prayers, a wealth of holy melodies and songs themselves, readings from the books of Holy Scripture and from the works of the Holy Fathers! What solemnity and sacredness of church actions, or the actions of clergy! What a heavenly setting of the churches, the altar and its accessories - the throne, the altar, the holy icons, the Royal and side gates! You just need to be able to understand all this, do it properly and use it for your sanctification and salvation! The Lord to me: if I am the Master, the Lord and your Judge, then obey Me, be conformed to Me. Lady: if I am the Mother of God and the Lady truly, then you, insignificant worm, obey Me and be like Me: holy, philanthropic, meek and humble in heart. Master! Teach Your unworthy servant to do Your will. Lady! Enlighten me, make me wise, strengthen me to do the commandments of Your Son! To the poor: we are wallowing in the pleasures of life, worthless, vile, and you are fit and noble. You should be revered in spirit more than others. Go against your always deceitful heart, your tormentor. He will get angry on his own, and he will also hurt himself fiercely. The heart is a stupid one-year-old child who grabs a hot coal and gets burned. Is it stupid to give free rein to a child? Perhaps soon he will not only get burned, but also burn out. God! Let me remember this. Gluttony is a great delight in the action itself, always leading to gluttony, and after the action there is a delight, because the glutton, even while performing a sacred deed, is in a hurry and rushes with his heart to his favorite foods and drinks and carelessly, with a divided heart, performs a holy deed, if this happens in the house. Do not spare yourself to serve your neighbors, even if they invite you to serve them all day long; look at the cross of the Lord Jesus crucified for us and see how much He did not spare Himself for our salvation, how much He served us - even to the cross and death, and remember what He told us: whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant [Matt. 20, 26 ]; if anyone wants to come after Me, deny yourself, and take up your cross, and follow Me [Matt. 16, 24, etc.]. Serve everyone willingly and willingly, as He served willingly, and do not expect payment for serving your neighbor: if they give you payment for your work, take it, if they don’t give you, don’t ask; Freely have you received, it is said, freely give [Matt. 10, 8]. God Himself will determine what to give you or not give you anything. Do not think about food and drink while performing a sacred task; When serving your neighbor, do not rush in your service in order to quickly get rid of it and go home to eat and drink. Remember the Savior, who said: My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to complete His work [Jn. 4, 34]. So are you. Our old man gets angry when we are called to work in favor of our neighbors, considering this to be restlessness and languor, and these works are very useful for the soul and body, as shown by the constant experiences of workers who willingly or with meekness force themselves to willingly perform their duties in relation to their neighbors. Works, especially spiritual ones, are real food for the soul and body: they revitalize, pacify and strengthen the soul and body. So, one must always willingly undertake all kinds of work for the sake of one’s neighbor. And what a great and noble deed it is to serve the good of others! Jesus Christ Himself, the Son of God, came down from heaven to serve people and, serving them, laid down His soul for them. What a sublime feat - to serve the flock of Christ, His inheritance, purchased with His blood! The Lord created me, and the Lord gives me everything: life, breath, light, food, drink, clothing, shelter, prayer, His word, His life-giving Body and Blood. I must serve Him all my life without fail, keep and fulfill His commandments. Why do I often serve the devil? How crazy am I? for an idiot, that is, a fool? I am a damned man: I have completely given myself over to the pleasures of life and money, clothes and acquisitions in general, and not to my neighbors; I do not care about the souls of my neighbors, but about their pennies: their pennies are kind, not their souls, and, so to speak, I buy and sell my neighbor for money and consider him of little value than this dust of the earth. I spare him sweets, money and other things, and I consider rubbish to be equal to him, even lower than rubbish. This is the measure of our love for God and neighbor - the Gospel, the Acts of the Apostles, the Epistles, church prayers, prayers during the celebration of the Sacraments, and others. Do we feel that we are the same as the holy fathers were in relation to believers? Glory to Thee, Lord Jesus Christ, glory to Thee, Most Holy Lady! I had insomnia at night from overeating and careless prayer. I stood up, prayed to [the Savior], read: Have mercy on me, O God... and: Lord God... by repentance... and to the Mother of God: Undefiled, Unblest... Stretch out your hand... Do not trust... Intercessor...; Then he lay down and fell asleep well, and woke up healthy and light. Always pray fervently and slowly: prayer will give you a wonderful, calm and healthy sleep. In the morning, also pray fervently - prayer gives you a prosperous, calm day, protects you from the temptations of the enemy. This is how necessary sincere prayer is! Prayer organizes and strengthens the soul and body. Let there be a firmament (the holy ones) in the midst of the waters (people), and let there be a parting in the midst of the waters and the waters [Gen. 1.6], that is, let them separate earth-born from the earth and attract them to heaven with their lives and their prayers. How can you rebel in the presence of God! And every sin is rebellion, rebellion in the presence of God - the King, Father and Provider, disobedience to Him, insolence before Him. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ my God, for You have granted me calmly, lovingly, victoriously, conversationally and majestically to spend the class with the child Frank and most of the class with the high school students (on Saturday, September 19) about Your name. When I held Thy most pure name in my heart, it was for me a source of light, peace, purity, wisdom, literature, greatness, love, although the enemy, like lightning, flew around me in the mental world. But only for a minute did I lose Your name from my heart when I looked at one beautiful boy - the ethereal bastard, like lightning, invaded my heart, darkened and oppressed my heart and threw shame and disgrace on my face. In this I have sinned before You, Lord! God! Grant me to look upon the beauty of these Thy children as at Thine beauty: they are Thy children, Thy name is called upon them, they are the work of Thy hands, Thy Blood flows in their veins. (And he spoke very well with Frank.) Kiss someone else's well-intentioned intellectual work as if it were your own and do not at all despise it out of envy. We are one, and the same God works in all of us. If we do not meet or live with proud people and do not endure contempt from others, abuse, ridicule, contradictions and other things, then how will we learn patience? The first people did not believe God’s threat that they would die, but believed the liar, the devil, that they would not die, and died after eating the forbidden fruit; and to this day humanity is dying, and would have died an eternal death if the Son of God had not given a helping hand. Many people of the present time do not believe the truth of the eternity of torment, proclaimed by the Truth Himself - the Savior of the world, and believe the devil that the torment will not be eternal, and will certainly fall into eternal torment if they do not abandon their unbelief and do not live according to the commandments of the Savior, who gave us a helping hand in such extreme danger; but no one will give them a helping hand, no savior, if they do not believe with all their hearts in the only Savior of the world from eternal damnation - Jesus Christ. After this, believe, if you want, the devil that there will be no eternal torment: I tell you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ that they are ready to begin so that they will never end. This is why students are taught Old Testament and New Testament history: so that children and adults know the truth of the words, promises, and threats of the Lord God, and tremble at the sins that are punished with such severity, and expect the fulfillment of God’s promises and threats undoubtedly, and so that they arrange their lives according to the commandments of Christ and are Christians in deed, and not in name. This is what worship, sermons, and fasts are for. Seeing Me as the Father [John. 14, 9]. Why? Because I am in the Father and the Father in Me [Jn. 14, 10]. This means that he who sees a pious Christian sees Jesus Christ and the entire Trinity, because it is said: He who eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood abides in Me, and I in him [Jn. 6, 56 ]; or do you not know... that Jesus Christ is in you? (2 Cor. 13:5); Do you not know that you are the church of God, and the Spirit of God lives in you? (1 Cor. 3:16). Or: we are the body of the Church, and the head is Christ; we are His members, He is the Head. Or: all of you who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ [Gal. 3, 27]. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me [Gal. 2, 20]. A beautiful world, which had not existed before, was created, all new, and man was the crown of creation, for which the whole earth was also beautiful. But man corrupted himself with sin, and with him he subjected nature to corruption (decrepitness). But the merciful Creator wanted to renew man, who had been corrupted by sin, and so he sends to earth His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, who, through teaching, miracles, death on the cross and resurrection, renews our corrupted nature. That's what the Old and New Testaments are. What is the sign that a Christian, who often receives the life-giving Mysteries, becomes more perfect and firm in his faith? The signs are as follows: firstly, trampling on money, delicacies, pomp in clothing and housing, secondly, love for God and neighbor, and thirdly, thinking about heavenly things, desiring the blessings of the heavenly Kingdom and striving for them. And who else has an addiction and love for money, for delicacies, for elegant clothes and housing, who is cold towards God, towards worship, towards the word of God, who is impatient, unsympathetic to the misfortunes and sorrows of others, is sincerely unfriendly or likes to exalt himself in front of others, is proud or allows himself to behave outrageously in the presence of others, for example, an unruly cry, who seeks only the best for himself and does not care about others, who is demanding and without measure and reason, he is strict towards the weaknesses of others - he is still far from approaching perfection, although he sometimes, and even often, does good deeds, for example, gives alms, receives guests, prays to God, and so on. You should not have attachment to money, even under the pretext of giving to the poor, that is, you should not covet money from others even for a good purpose, to show mercy. Judas, under the pretext of giving to the poor, warmed in his chest the demon of love of money and contempt for the face of his Teacher and Lord, and was not afraid to betray the Priceless One for thirty pieces of silver. So now money lovers are ready to sell and sell each other for money. Just give me the money, but I don’t care about your soul,” says the money-loving priest and false shepherd, like me, for example, the most sinful of all; “Give me only the money, and then do whatever you want, just hide the ends of your sins,” says the money-loving ruler, “be an oppressor of widows and orphans, a robber, a reveler, a drunkard, a libertine, a deceiver, a usurer, and so on. Just give me the money, and then drink as much as you like, even get drunk to death with wine,” says the wine seller, or the seller of bread wine; give me only money, and in return take from me any kind of cute vanity - albums and all the endless vanity that short-sighted people stare at and are seduced by - who says that? The storekeeper and his clerks. Just give me the money, otherwise you’ll spend the whole night with me and be idle, even if you’re bursting with laughter or inflamed with passions,” says the theater owner with his acting retinue, “we don’t care about your souls, because only Jesus Christ cares about them, who suffered for them and was resurrected for them and who promises them resurrection and some kind of heavenly Kingdom and bliss, but for us, we’d have enough on earth.” have fun, and amuse others, and collect money, but we do not seek your imaginary bliss; or: only the priests care about human souls - let them sort out and judge their sins, and our job is better to amuse the public and build a reputation for ourselves in order to breed more theater lovers. Thus, instead of challenging each other, especially as the Day of Judgment approaches, people corrupt each other because of money, devastate physical churches and churches not made with hands: the former have few people even on holidays, the latter are deprived of the Holy Spirit for their addiction to idleness and vanity. Where can one get the Gospel or the writings of the holy fathers and read the word of God or go to the church of God, but they chase the vain idle talk of actors and actresses, admire their antics and pretense. And Christians love this, Christ’s children, called to heavenly bliss! Where is the spirit of Christ, where has the character of Christ gone? Where is the heavenly wisdom? We, Christian brothers, have become completely down-to-earth, and have become non-Christians in our deeds. By the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ - His most pure and life-giving Mysteries - I enjoyed peace, boldness and greatness of spirit all day (September 19, 1864) Saturday, and spent two classes well, and served the all-night vigil well, that is, calmly, and behaved decently at home. Thanks be to the Lord for His great gift! Our Orthodox Church, or Orthodox churches, is true heaven. Altar: throne, cross, Gospel, faces of saints. Icons in churches, or the faces of the saints of the Mother of God, Angels and men, show that the saints living in heaven and Christians living on earth are one Church, one family of God, that the saints are always close to us; this closeness is proven, among other things, by miraculous icons, holy relics and especially by the sincere closeness of the Lord Jesus Christ, in Whom the whole Church is in heaven and on earth, for He is the Head of all and the life of all. (The ninth part of 22 should be explained visually by the interior of the church, especially by the faces of the Lord, the Mother of God, Angels, saints: here is the Lord, the Mother of God, Angels and saints of different times, different places; here are patriarchs, and prophets, and apostles, and saints, and martyrs, and saints, and righteous, and unmercenaries!) Sweets are fornication: avoid them. There is an old man in you. And in others too. But you know how angry, impatient he is, how he does not tolerate reproaches, reproaches from others, how stingy, envious, disobedient from the first time, you know how he binds you, like with shackles, making you a slave, gloomy, insane, he demands leniency from others - know that others, as having the same old man, demand leniency. I hate someone else because he is money-loving, stingy, or crafty, cunning, or evil. It’s a strange thing: I hate others for the very same sin to which I myself am subject. Why do I love myself - myself, a sinner? Damned, blind people we are! Blind because anger has blinded our eyes. Well, shouldn’t we pray for sinners who are caught alive in the enemy’s net? Isn’t it true that we love the more, the more unhappy they are, the more they suffer internally from the most terrible misfortune, which they do not notice and do not want to notice? External, physical trouble is usually visible, and they try to avoid it, they try to prevent it, but many do not notice the internal spiritual trouble: they themselves are in flames all around - and they don’t think that they are in flames. Oh, sinful flattery! Fornicator, adulterer! What are you doing? How dare you desecrate the members of Christ? Are you a Christian? You know, you believe with all your heart, that the Son of God accepted your nature and became a perfect man and sanctified all nature, all our members, so that we all lived holy and used our members holyly according to the law of God - how dare you defile them? You, harlot and adulteress, don’t you know to what degree of purity the female nature was exalted by the Ever-Virgin Mother of God, among other things, as an example to all wives, so that they would live holy in this world and keep their bodies immaculate? How dare you defile your members, Christian woman, tell me? You, virgin, who has violated and desecrated your virginity, your body, tell me how you defile your body - a body that should be fragrant with chastity and purity? Christian maiden, tell me, how dare you do this? Do you go to church? If you are there, then at every service you hear the praise of the Mother of God: Our Most Holy, Most Pure, Most Blessed, Glorious Lady Theotokos... Through this praise of the Mother of God, you are given instruction on how you should conduct yourself, with what purity and holiness, for to the extent we all should imitate Her in purity, meekness and humility. Haven’t you heard about the holy martyrs or myrrh-bearers, the venerable women? See in your nature how they lived and how they pleased God! Imitate them, if the example of the Most Blessed, Most Glorified Mother of God is high for you. And leave your uncleanness from this very day and hour. The more severe the judgment awaits Christians, the more grace they have had to live chastely, righteously and holyly. We are all vessels of God - made by Him for the sake of serving Him, for the sake of His glory. And we must serve Him with all diligence, with all our hearts, with all our strength and with all our being. The adulterous and sinful world destroys the work of God, the work of the Redeemer, and rejects the followers of Christ after itself. Without God, you can’t reach the threshold, that is, without thinking about Him, without inner prayer to Him for help and intercession. The miser is mad because: 1) he clings to a soulless thing, to dust, and retreats in heart from a person like himself, even hates and despises him for consuming his beloved and owned property, 2) he torments himself with pity for things without the hope of rewarding himself for the torment, and 3) he is deprived of God - the source of living water, the God of bounty, who hates stinginess, our priceless treasure, because of perishability treasures. In addition, the miser is beyond measure proud: he himself wants as much as possible or is gladly ready to have more and do as best and as pleasant as possible for himself, but he does not want this for his neighbor, he is jealous of his neighbor, he is indignant with his neighbor, annoyed, angry when he receives a lot or when he does himself better than him, or even the same as him. Oh, pride, oh, malice, oh, envy, oh, covetousness, oh, stinginess! The enemy strongly tempted me today in class, he burned me with sweets; I, trusting in my Lord, although with difficulty, defeated him. Glory to the Lord for this! (September 21st, 1864) Without rigor, students will weaken in their work and lose respect for you. Severity strengthens souls. Guard with mercy. Living in rich palaces! Do not forget about the indescribable palace of heaven, into which at the end of the ages the righteous who have loved God and their neighbor will enter for endless life. Provide philanthropically for those who live in cramped, low, damp, dirty basements or dungeons and are forced to pay dearly for their corner and, perhaps, sometimes do not even have bread. Remember that we are one body. You read in the Creed: I believe... in one Holy... Church. But this is faith in one Church, that is, in one family of God, which is made up of Christians, when you provide for your poor brethren as your members and, if possible, help them. You are all brethren, said Christ [Matt. 23, 8]. You are my brothers, children of God, sons and daughters of God, and our Heavenly Father here in the church is always between us, like a father among children. Do not forget this and go to the church with joy and zeal, as to the house of God; With faith, reverence and the fear of God, enter into it, remembering that in it dwells God, the all-holy, omniscient, omnirighteous, omnipotent, omnipresent, containing everything, the Judge of all the earth, the One who mortifies and gives life, humbles and exalts, impoverishes and enriches, brings down to hell and exalts [cf. 1 Sam. 2, 6 – 8]. The first class on Tuesday (September 22, 1864) spent victorious in the name of the Lord, having in their hearts the words: Christ in all things and in all [Col. 3:11] and observing in it the simplicity of God; he spoke to the children in a fatherly manner, simply, with firmness, loudly, fruitfully, smoothly. But the enemy fought hard with carnal abomination. Half of the other class (in fifth grade) also had a great time asking the students; in the other half, Satan has confused my heart and partly my tongue, darkened, burned, embarrassed, embarrassed me. Having finished my explanation, I began to walk around the class and call on the Savior for help, but I simply could not call with all my heart - the enemy surrounded me all around. Why did this happen? - From an instant unclean thought and an unclean movement of the heart when looking at the disciple, in a word, from the deviation of my heart from Christ; Christ must be constantly carried in the heart with all looks, movements, words, and in everyone one must see Christ, existing everywhere and fulfilling everything, and the devil and his thoughts as a ghost, a lie, a dream, madness, absurdity, paradox - in a word, sin, lawlessness, despised, swept away in an instant. The trouble is that we dwell on them as something real, while they are a dream and an absurdity, the most vulgar stupidity, which should not be paid attention to for a moment. An unclean thought, an unclean movement of the heart is the devil, just as a holy, pure, good thought is, so to speak, the Lord Himself, for He is everywhere and fills everything, He is Thought, Word and Spirit. Do not be embarrassed by the nasty, crafty and blasphemous thoughts inspired in you by the nasty, unclean, disgusting and crafty spirit, but be calm, counting them as nothing and not sympathizing with them in the least. Do not let your feet fall into confusion; keep you below slumber [Rus. Yungerov's translation: Do not let your foot stumble: your Guardian will not sleep] [Ps. 120, 3]. And we, the faint-hearted, are embarrassed by them as if by something real. What is any sin? - There is an absurd seed of the devil, or the devil himself, - for example, bitterness, irritability, pride, contempt, vindictiveness, love of money, stinginess, gluttony and drunkenness, fornication; blasphemy against sacred things, unbelief, insensibility or hardness of heart, laziness towards prayer and towards the law of God or towards fulfilling the commandments of God; lies, deception, slander, foul language, passion for cards, theaters, clothes, and entertainment. We are all instruments or vessels of the Lord God, which He uses daily to fulfill His providential intentions and deeds. Therefore, we, each in our place, must diligently carry out our work, as the servants of God should, and be quick to obey without contradiction to the sovereign, superiors, mentors, parents and even subordinates who need our help and our assistance or service. Obedience is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22). We should not be suspicious and irritable when our closest superior gives us an order or gives us obedience that does not agree with our views, but is legal and tends to establish or restore some kind of order. The boss is responsible for his orders both before people and before God. Our job is to obey. When a prodigal, blasphemous or any other sinful thought comes into your soul, or when you feel an unclean movement in your heart and flesh, then immediately drive away the thought of the Crucified One for us, remembering the words of the Apostle: those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24 ]; crucify yourself every day. If the devil brings his unclean, vile and fiery storm - be patient: and this is the cross. Do not be faint-hearted and do not complain if the Lord you are calling does not suddenly appear to help. Some martyrs endured for a long time. Job suffered long-term violence from the devil, just as there are many now who suffer long-term intrigues from him. But most importantly, be alert, sober at all times, and do not let your feet become confused [Ps. 120, 3]. Be sober and watchful, because your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8). With great reverence and humility, one must stand before God and the Lady and the holy Angels and holy people of God, and deeply recognize one’s sinfulness and one’s lewdness, and sincerely ask for help in one’s spiritual troubles. Be simple in life and in prayer, like God, like thought. The more you rebel against the flesh, the greater its sinful irritability becomes, the more evil, impatient, prodigal, sad, envious, stingy, and money-loving it becomes. The Universe is a single body in which one another, some heavenly or earthly bodies serve other heavenly or earthly bodies for the benefit. Likewise, the state is a body in which members, starting from the sovereign, minister and metropolitan to the last soldier, official, artisan, sexton, peasant, must serve each other. Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant [Matt. 20, 26]. Our Creator is great and infinite. He cares both about the welfare of one person or one creature, and especially about the welfare of all people and all creatures. All people must be one body. Love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 22, 39]. If my heart is the temple of the Holy Spirit, according to Scripture (1 Cor. 3:16, etc.), then how can I desecrate the church of God with some unclean thought, unclean or evil, proud and contemptuous movement of the heart, or unkind, idle or impure word and deed? Let this not happen. About satiety and drunkenness. If you think about why people are often fed up and drunk, then pity and sorrow involuntarily take over the heart: many are satiated from tasty food, which they love very much and which they want to enjoy longer, just as they get drunk beyond measure from an addiction to a certain drink: the pleasantness of the drink incites them to drink more, beyond the need, and so the greedy for pleasure draws or quickly drains cups and glasses with a pleasant drink. drinking, while soon he feels either intoxication, or heaviness of the whole body and heart petrification, and subsequently pain in the stomach, rushes to the head, dullness of abilities, especially dullness and petrification of the heart; many are fed up because they do not want to throw away or give to the poor or animals the remains of food and drink, which, for example, were bought in a certain place and must be eaten immediately, or which cannot be eaten and drunk tomorrow, for example, if tomorrow is fasting; others, having prepared a lot of food for the day or brewed a lot of tea, are afraid that all this, remaining, will evaporate or go to waste, as if it was worth the money; or they bought wine, beer, and a lot of it, - they try to drink it at once: they can’t, they think, after all, they came to have fun or treat others, so they have to drink - they can’t leave it; and so they try (what an effort!) to stuff their stomach as tightly as possible, like into a box, or a suitcase, or a barrel, or a bucket, as if filling the stomach in this way is an acquisition or life for a person! Oh, human madness! Oh, life is not human, but dumb and worse than dumb! Where is the mind? Where is the conscience? Where is the faith? Where is the Gospel? Where is the consciousness of the nobility and holiness of one’s nature, renewed by the God-man and accepted into the unity of the Divine, or into the communion of the Divine nature? Where is the remembrance of the most pure and life-giving Mysteries that we accept within ourselves and unite with God Himself? Where is the remembrance of the vows of Baptism, of the renunciation of Satan and all his works, among which not the least place is occupied by gluttony and drunkenness?.. Brothers! Let us more often look in our thoughts at our Lord Jesus Christ, who for our sake fasted in the desert and ate neither food nor drink for forty days and nights, and let us be zealous for abstinence and fasting. Abstinence and fasting are great Christian virtues. Let us refrain ourselves from everything sinful, not just from food and drink. About satiety with tobacco. There are many who harm their health because of their greed for smoking tobacco: they light a cigar - well, you can’t leave it, you need to finish smoking - and they smoke and inhale strong smoke and gradually destroy the delicate pulmonary network. Oh, greed! Passion for cards. We sat down to play cards - the game began, it unfolded widely - we must finish, and hours after hours fly by in the service of the demon of idleness, vanity and love of money. And everything is done by greed for winning, for robbing one’s neighbor or for championship. Lord Jesus Christ! I thank You, for You heard my prayer for Your sick servant Constantine (the barber) and for the sake of the grace of the priesthood that dwells in me, for the sake of Your most immaculate and beloved Bride - Your Holy Church, You healed him according to the multitude of Your mercy. Amen. September 23rd, 1864 I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ my God, my victory, for in Your name You have granted me victory over the abomination of the flesh and with strength and freedom to teach Your law to Your servants. Amen. September 23. Jesus Christ suffered for people on the Cross and died. And at least in your labors, suffer for your neighbors, that is, do for them with readiness what you must do as a duty of the priesthood. If you had to stay awake at night to serve your neighbors, don’t complain: you serve Christ, the Son of God, who suffered for you, and who freed you from eternal torment with His sufferings and gave you eternal bliss. O infinitely merciful Lord! Save us. Also: bear with yourself the shortcomings, infirmities, and mistakes of your neighbors. Be patient when they bother you with something, and do not get irritated, do not become embittered with them, but always be meek and humble in heart, willingly enduring, out of love for them, all sorts of worries, following the example of the Lord Jesus Christ and the apostles, our venerable and God-bearing fathers. I don’t want others to be irritated with me; I shouldn’t be irritated with others, even with the last beggar; I don’t want anyone to disobey me - and I must willingly obey everyone, even the last beggar. As you want people to do to you, do so to them [Matt. 7, 12]. Do not do to others what you do not want to do to yourself [Acts. 15, 29]. Sweets and satiety eat away faith and piety, or the fear of God, and make the heart rough and insensitive, deceitful and fickle. Bear the infirmities (spiritual and physical) of the weak, and thus fulfill the law of Christ [Gal. 6, 2]. Tell me, man: is it wise to fill your stomach with earthly mud, even if this mud is sweet? For what is all our food if not earth, not dirt, although wisely transformed into a nutritional essence! What does it happen after, after death and even before the death of the body? - Pus, stench, coal! Do not be seduced by pleasant dirt, but use it to maintain and strengthen the body. Little or little excessive consumption of food and drink relaxes the body, especially when a person does not have labor commensurate with nutrition. Some people do not tolerate incense smoke, but this smoke, like the decomposition of fragrant wood sulfur through fire, is very healthy, drives away the stench and protects against decay. Why is there healthy air in forests? From the sulfurous beginnings of wood. Powdered sulfur is even taken orally as a medicine. Sulfur is tree sap, the life of trees. And could it be that God, who determined the smoking of incense in churches, and the Church itself could introduce smoking that is harmful to health? - No way. It is highly [useful]. It is better than any fragrant powders and pieces of paper. Pray with firmness, despite the involuntary movement of the heart or the nasty, evil and blasphemous thoughts arising in the soul, instilled by the enemy, the eternal opponent of prayer; however, try with all your might to keep your heart simple and sincere in prayer, and you will receive the gift you ask for, for example, forgiveness of a sin that bothers you, help in a well-known matter, and so on. The enemy’s usual business is to fight us both during prayer and in general during our soul-saving activities with some dreams, ghosts, darkness, cramped conditions, and sorrow. The one whom the Lord blessed with the predominant or only blessing, as the only one pure and completely pleasing with purity, meekness and humility, this color of paradise, this bright sun, the devil blasphemes and reviles him to the servants of God - and the reproaches of those who revile the Most Holy Virgin Mother of God attack us. How to blaspheme the One Whom the Lord blessed with all blessings, Whom He chose from all human races as the only most pure One, Whom He made Himself His Mother, in Whose womb He dwelt, from Whom He was incarnate, with Whom He was united with the eternal, most holy union of the Holy Spirit, Whom He deified for ever and ever, and not only Her, but through Her and all who lived piously and who ate His most holy and pure Body and Blood. O absurd blasphemer, despicable, nasty, dreamer, alien to all truth: there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks his own - his own, not God's - for he is a liar and the father of lies (and what does a lie have in common with the truth? - nothing) [John. 8, 44]. Endure everything good-naturedly, all sorts of troubles, worries for the body and soul, and with patience you will gain everything: peace of mind and health of the body, while with impatience and irritability you will only hurt your soul, your body and your whole being for a long time. Moreover, when we are impatient, what are we usually afraid of? - The ghosts of our imagination and our suspiciousness, which we ourselves recognize and see after the action of irritation has passed or after we have moved away from that person and that thing or that action that brought us, due to our cowardice, into an irritable state. So, endure everything calmly, all real or imaginary troubles, mental or physical. Be patient, because 1) God commands you to endure everything; 2) because through the movement of impatience the devil enters the soul with his anger and irritability, abuse, [reproaches], daydreaming, despondency and other sins; 3) because through patience peace of mind and health of the body are preserved, the blood is not disturbed, and 4) because where there is patience, there is God, the Author of patience, there is humility and all that is good. When impatience overcomes you, remember Him who was crucified for us all, who taught patience from the Cross, and you will easily overcome your impatience and learn patience. What is impatience? There is malice and pride of the devil. A humble person considers himself worthy to endure all kinds of work, troubles, sorrows, illnesses, deprivations, for, he says, due to my sins I am worthy not only of sorrows, troubles, bitterness, deprivations, but also a thousand deaths. An impatient person forgot himself, who he is, forgot what a sinner he is and what he deserves according to the truth of God. Wealth, spacious housing, excellent food and drink, abundant food, soft and elegant clothes, acquaintance with people like him, honor from others, love of peace spoiled him. He must change and constantly look to the example of the Lord Jesus Christ from His cradle to the grave. When you pray to the Lord, pray as if there were no one and nothing in you except the Lord, the only Existence; in the same way, pray to the Mother of God, as the Mother of the Existing and with Him, existing everywhere and existing in Him; the same to the Angels and saints, for in all of them there rests one Being, their life, their perfection, light, strength, peace, inexpressible bliss - everything. God is all in all (1 Cor. 15:28). If on earth there is everything and Christ in everyone, then is it not more in heaven, in His saints? Human malice is amazing! He (namely I) sometimes becomes irritated and embittered by the most sincere expressions of others’ love for him, by their unfeigned joyful caresses, by their very joy, which is something to rejoice about. Oh, wickedness! Oh, malice! Rejoice with those who rejoice, love those who love, but also love those who do not love, those who hate, those who curse you, who cause you troubles, losses, insults, misfortunes, troubles, unnecessary labors, for man is the image of God, although he bears the wounds of sins, and for the sake of God, Whose image he is, love him. The image of God is an essential, true thing in a person, and sins are not essential, dreamy, illusory, random, like dreams, like serpentine poison that comes from outside, which must be expelled and eradicated. All the more we must feel sorry for sinners, the more sinful they are, the more fierce their passions, the more incurable, and pray for them so that they do not perish forever. I thank Thee, Lord Jesus Christ my God, for covering me with the blood of Thy wing, the blood of Thy name: when I embrace Thy name in my heart and over all my pupils, then the vile, muddy and dark flood in it dries up, my heart is pacified and enlightened. But as soon as I let him out of my heart, satanic abominations immediately burst into him like a swift stream. God! I truly see that You are all and in all, O Christ! Establish, O God, everyone in You, our Savior, lead all things with You, Christ our God! September 24th, 1864 Take care most of all about the simplicity of the soul, about God’s holy simplicity, which consists in the image and likeness of God: it will save you; everything that does not constitute a feature of the image and likeness of God, reject all sins, passions, and shortcomings. Most of all, be meek and kind and humble in heart. If people bring to God the fruits of many different virtues, then the earth grows its fruits abundantly, and if the virtue of the heart dries up in people, then the earth loses the power of fertility. Let us learn from soulless nature, which brings us the fruits of the earth in abundance, to bring fruit to the Lord. The fig tree... Every tree that does not bear good fruit... [Lk. 3, 9]. (Sacred history of the Old Testament. Days of creation.) I will always have everything I need for life - my true Lord Jesus Christ assures me of this, saying: do not worry and do not say: what shall we eat? or what to drink? or what should you wear?.. Your Heavenly Father knows that you need all this [Matt. 6, 31–32], - and if he knows, then, as the all-good Father and Provider, of course he will give it. And I'm sure of this. But the enemy begs me with my whims - tea, coffee, sugar: it is a pity when they are served at the wrong time (or when they are unnecessary) and are wasted. But all this is rubbish and dreaming and irritation, tickling the flesh. Truth is God. He is my life. On God, like on a mountain, you threw all your worries and sorrows. He created you, He provides for you. And I am nothing. I thank You, and again 24 I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God with the Father and the Holy Spirit, for Your mercy, for Your strength, for Your help, revealed to me in the Holy Mysteries and affecting me in three classes (for girls - in the boarding school and in the gymnasium). My strength, my shield, my simplicity, my peace, my lightness, my light, my word, my power, my boldness - I thank, thank, thank You; insignificant creature, I thank and praise You, my Creator, and sing forever. Amen. Establish, O God, Thy servant; confirm, O Lord, this which thou hast 25 done in me. Wake up, wake up! (September 25, 1864. Friday. Celebrated early mass in the Duma for Prokofiev.) Do not let your feet fall into confusion; below you will slumber, guard thee [Ps. 120, 3]. Don't be too verbose. Hold on to the simplicity of God. Remember that the Lord is all in all (1 Cor. 15:28). Amen. Tea irritates the internal nerves; it is a great aid to the ethereal enemy. The disembodied enemy vaguely and painfully ties the hearts of people to the blessings of this world: to food, drink, money, clothing, housing, theaters, club evenings, beautiful homes - in order to distract their attention from their soul, from the second coming of Christ and the future Last Judgment, from eternal bliss and eternal torment, in order to distract them from love for God and neighbor, because a person cannot serve two masters. Remember the words of the Apostle: as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ [Gal. 3, 27]. Every Christian after baptism is clothed in Christ. Oh, nobility! Oh greatness! Oh, the shrine is a Christian! How to become angry with some Christian! How to despise someone, even the last beggar! Crazy, daring, sinful! Just like everyone needs to support themselves! Chaste, self-controlled, holy, meek, humble, in obedience, in the fear of God and in the presence of God! Truly I know, Lord, that without You I am an abomination, weakness, nothing - and with You I am only something. Only with the help of Your grace can I be holy and strong and do a lot. But why is this: being the weakest, the worst, the most disgusting of all, I become irritated and embittered against my neighbors, for example, servants, watchmen, beggars, subordinates and others, for their slightest offense, even for the slightest mistake in any matter, and often reprimand for this? Because I did not recognize our common weakness, which certainly requires indulgence; because I am proud and proud and seek what pleases me from others, because I am impatient and do not want to suffer the slightest trouble; because I, ungrateful and malicious, have forgotten or am forgetting what countless sins the Lord has forgiven and continually forgives me and how generously He forgives others, as the God of mercy, generosity and philanthropy (darkness of talents 26); I forgot that love is not irritated, does not think evil and covers everything, endures everything and falls away in no way (1 Cor. 13, 5, 7, 8), but I fall away; that no one and nothing can separate true love from the beloved. Know your weakness more deeply and find out for yourself what endless indulgence a person deserves for his weaknesses. How little have you yet come to know your weakness, your spiritual misfortune from the many different temptations of demons? Have you not yet learned meekness, humility, and condescension towards common human weaknesses? Wonderful thing! I sometimes get angry at the apparent faults of my neighbor. I am ready to angrily find fault with his every step, with every action, with every mine, with every movement of his voice. I am always in some kind of evil seduction; I hate everything about a person. The beauty and splendor of the members of the human body. The Lord Himself, our Creator, took upon Himself all these members, so that we became His members. How we must sanctify all these members! With what sacredness it is to look at them! Truly, everything in our body is Divine. Passions blind the eyes of the heart, and a person seeing does not see, that is, beyond his nose, as they say, he sees nothing; however, he is alert to carnal things and deeds, but blind to spiritual things, completely blind. Blessed is he who cleanses his heart with the grace of God from carnal passions and cleaves with all his heart to God: then the thorn from the eyes of his heart will fall and he will see God and himself in the true light. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God [Matt. 5, 8]. When guests come to you and your heart is capricious, worried, inventing various excuses to displease them or despising them, do not believe him: this is the malice of the devil; your job is to accept them kindly - certainly kindly, talk to them as brothers and sisters; if possible, treat them cordially, otherwise you can simply let them go in peace and kindness, so that no one leaves your home with sorrow and displeasure. If you are annoyed with someone, be more kind to them. When the heart of the servants takes pity on sweets, for example, sugar, pies, jam, fruits, and says: “too much,” do not believe him and always be generous for the servants, for the servants always see less of the gifts of the Lord’s goodness than the owners through whose hands these gifts pass; Consider your servants as your equals and love them as you love yourself. You are all brothers [Matt. 23, 8]. We, many, are one body (1 Cor. 10:17). Much has been given to me - I must serve everyone more, humble myself more, because more has been given to me to recognize my weakness, sinfulness, corruption, damnation. Say: I have the same corrupt and sinful, slave nature as them, and because of my sins I should serve them, but they serve me, a sinner, indecent. Pray for them for their services. For a small reward, they give you a lot of help and services, although they are like you in everything, the same children of God, like you, the same heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven. The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His soul as a ransom for many [Matt. 20, 28]. The more we love sweets, the more greedy we are for them, the more cold we will be towards people and towards God Himself. I look with fear at that person who is greedy for sweets and in general for food and drink and during the table does not speak to anyone, does not look at anyone, because for him food and drink are more pleasant and dearer than anyone else: his heart is not turned to people, but to food and drink. He looks like a predatory beast who leers at those who approach him while he eats, which you don’t touch while he is tormenting his victim, whose tasty morsel you don’t touch, otherwise he will become embittered and, perhaps, tear you to pieces. Thus, those who are greedy for food and drink are usually stingy and, because of a piece, especially a sweet one, they look askance at their neighbor, get angry and quarrel. God! I am worse, more vile, meaner, stingier than everyone and weaker than everyone; I am nothing and disgusting. Teach me humility and allow me to look with love and reverence at all Your intelligent creatures, at the images of Your glory - people. Strengthen, Lord, make wise, Lord, cleanse, Lord! I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, for you have delivered me from the great oppression, confusion, cowardice and darkness that befell me for my lack of faith and despair due to my many sins during and after communion of the Holy Mysteries. Damned, I thought that the abyss of Your mercy could be overcome by the abyss of my sins. But my abyss is nothing in comparison with Your abyss of mercy. But what about I? – advert You are in me. - Didn’t I come in order to accept your mental and physical ailments and bear your illnesses? “Yes,” I answered, and I believed that there is no sin, Your love for mankind is victorious, 27 and so it was easy, it suddenly became easy for me. So, do not be embarrassed by the multitude of your sins while holding the Lamb in your arms and during communion, but trust in the infinite mercy of the Savior, this Lamb who takes away the sins of the whole world. What are your sins compared to the sins of the whole world? - Nothing. Glory to Thee, endless Lord! The infinity of the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ the Son of God presupposes, on the one hand, the infinity of God’s gifts for the sake of this Sacrifice to those who believe in Him, on the other hand, the infinity of punishments from which those who believe in Him are delivered by His suffering and death and to which those who do not believe in Him, or the Gospel and the Church, will be subjected. This means there will be both eternal bliss and eternal torment. If it were not so, the Son of God would not have to be incarnate, exhaust Himself before us, suffer and die for us. This work would have been done by some limited, created, blessed spirit, Cherub or Seraphim or other Heavenly Powers. It was not in vain that the holy fathers of the Church filled their prayers and various works with descriptions of the horrors of future torment and they themselves so often asked the Lord to deliver them from Gehenna. In the canon and akathist to Jesus the Sweetest, on almost every page there is a speech about deliverance from Gehenna. Because of the bodily stench emitted by someone, for example, servants, beggars (not to mention the rich and noble, to whom we readily forgive everything), do not yourself emit a spiritual stench, the stench of malice and contempt, which is infinitely worse than the bodily stench. Listen to what is being said. Also, because of your brother’s smoking, do not be angry with him, but endure everything willingly, cover everything, as you cover your own similar weaknesses. Do not serve the enemy under any pretext. And the enemy usually tempts us with our pride and carnality, and because of everything that is contrary to the flesh, he tries to arouse anger and impatience in us. How good it is for the flesh to move, walk, work and some fatigue! In general, just as the bliss of the flesh is harmful, so labor is useful: the flesh is not so enraged. Everyone must notice what kind of dominant passion is behind him, with which the devil tempts him, and must immediately correct himself. Another is tempted by gluttony, delicacy, satiety; another - love of money; another - envy, malice, pride; others - idleness, gambling; some - theaters, some other than. Everyone must immediately begin to correct his heart and love his Creator and Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and his neighbor as himself. A glutton cannot work together with God and his belly: working for his belly, loving delicacy, satiety, he necessarily neglects God, his soul, his neighbors, his own and others’ salvation; the heart is petrified by food and drink. This is me, a sinner. God! Save me! Remember that you are preparing for eternal rest. Work, be patient and pray. “I have done this and that good, Lord,” another says in his heart, “I deserve such and such mercy from You; or I serve for such and such - I deserve Your special mercy. And thus the merciful is exalted by his mercy, and this is pride and an abomination to the Lord. We are worthless slaves, because we did what we had to do [Lk. 17, 10]. One of our neighbors will become sick, and we say in our hearts: this is what you need - you will better understand your pride, your love of money, your stinginess, your cunning. But this gloating and condemnation is an abomination to the Lord. Look at yourself, what you are like. And judging us all is God’s work, punishing and admonishing us is the same. Our job is to love others as ourselves. I eat Your Body, O Lord, and drink Your Blood. 28 Is it possible for the Lord to have greater condescension and closer approach to His creation, which is criminal, ungrateful and evil-tempered? What are those who withdraw from the Lord worthy of? From the Church? Heretics, schismatics, voluntarily possessed by passions? Christians! Where is the Head of your faith and your King and Father? - In the sky. Where does He lead His followers through faith and the Church by the grace of the Holy Spirit? - To the sky. Fine. Why do you live as if your fatherland is earth, as if there is no eternal life, as if there are no eternal blessings prepared for those who love Him, as if there are no eternal torments prepared for negligence and a lawless, unrepentant life? What will Jews, Mohammedans, and pagans say about you when they look at your life? My priests, says the Lord, love tranquility, bliss, money, rich clothes, luxurious apartments and magnificent decorations, distinctions and earthly rewards, but they do not feed My sheep; They feed themselves, and not My sheep, not like My apostles, who worked day and night preaching My Gospel and were subjected to thousands of troubles. My priests are dumb dogs who cannot bark because of their addiction to corruptible goods; They have scattered My sheep; the wolf spoils them [Isa. 56, 10]. Why did I come down from heaven? Why did I suffer and shed blood, rose from the dead, ascended to heaven? Why am I coming again? Where is the anticipation of My terrible coming? All faith, all hope, all the love of Christians is suppressed by worldly pleasures, for a person cannot work for two masters: either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be zealous for one and not care about the other [Lk. 16, 13]. God bless! Don’t trust your heart in anything, why it bothers you. - Nonsense, talk nonsense, absurdity. And the heart’s greatest confusion is a dream. The true state of the heart is calm. Tell your confusion: I don’t believe you, I don’t know you. If the icon of the Lady of Tikhvin appeared to the faithful in such a radiant form, like the sun, then in what light does She dwell forever in heaven, before the throne of Her Son and God? If She is more honest than the Cherubim and more glorious than the Seraphim without comparison, and the Cherubim and Seraphim are filled with ineffable light, then in what light does She eternally dwell? And it is worthy and righteous, for the very One who shone flightlessly 29 from the Father, that is, the Only Begotten Son, passed from Her, the pure Ever-Virgin, by nature God and by nature being man for our sake. 30 Oh, great and ineffable mystery! Oh, the nobility of human nature! People! Christians! Do you value your nobility? Do you strive for heavenly, eternal glory? Do you despise the longer term as meaningless rubbish? (How the devil burned me today at Moldavsky’s by stinging bread and prosphora! How he sometimes burns me when you invite someone to visit you: he always stings on bread and salt. On bread, he says, man will live alone, and not on the word of God; He ties him to bread as to God - but in fact to himself, a liar, so that they do not work for God, so that they do not consider Him to be their belly, so that they do not rely on His Providence.) Your heart is angry, proud, disdainful, ill-wishing, gloating, stingy, envious, avaricious, restlessly thirsting for distinction, lazy, looking for bliss, inaction, or irritated, embarrassed, embarrassed, or capricious, stubborn, disobedient, despondent, or impulsively rejoices, laughs - tell it: I don’t believe you, I reject you, I despise you you, I crucify you, my old man, and put on the new man, created by God in righteousness and the honor of truth. It is fitting for us, say, to fulfill all righteousness [Matt. 3, 15]. Let us surrender our entire life to Christ the Bot—our whole life, that is, with all temptations, labors, sorrows, illnesses, misfortunes, with all the so-called accidents, for example, visits from famous or unknown persons, guests, and so on, for everything and everything is in the hand of God. Why should the will of one God be done in all in heaven and on earth? Because everything is from Him, by Him and in Him: He is the Creator, who created everyone for His own sake and for the sake of our bliss; He is the Existing One - everything for everyone, moreover, we are His images, and in His images - and in our minds, hearts, and wills - He, our Creator and our Father, must be vividly and accurately reflected. God save the priest standing before the throne of the Lord of hosts, great and terrible, from being forgotten in his high rank, that is, forgetting his high position, place and neglecting his work, for to everyone to whom much will be given, much will be required of him [Lk. 12, 48]. What abstinence he must have! How long must he watch over his thoughts! The internal cross of various abominations planted in the heart by the enemy is heavy, especially during prayer. We must pray, cry and fight, calling on the Lord and Lady and the Guardian Angel for help. For idle talk, for our hypocrisy in prayer, in worship, in the Sacraments, we receive a good payment, and we also regret giving to the poor, ourselves only lavishly feeding on our own sweets. Woe to us! You often call God King in prayer, but do you remember and always fulfill His laws? You call Him Lord, but do you work hard for Him? For if He is your Lord, then you are His servant and must serve Him all the days of your life. You call him Lord - is He your Lord? Isn't your master the devil? Do you call me father? Is it the father? Isn't it the devil? For example, if you are only a glutton, then you are already lying by calling God by that name. Remember: you are a slave of the devil. The trouble is gluttony, delicacy and excess in food and drink, for example in drinking tea, not to mention wine. Terrible, great fornication. Sodom and Gomorrah. Why did the Sodomites and Gomorrites commit fornication so terribly? - From satiety, from the abundance of bread and wine. The flesh is a living mechanism: it has its own powers; these forces inevitably come into a certain strong action when we add or add material to them in abundance - food and drink, and the soul is knocked out of its nest - the heart: everything in disorder, the entire structure of the soul can be destroyed, like millstones in a mill, like the wheels of a steamship or like the rudder of a ship. This is how harmful gluttony and satiety are! This is why fasting is necessary! You must be able to manage yourself! The Savior's commandments must be remembered! He who has many earthly blessings, remember this especially, because you have more opportunities and means to indulge in gluttony, and poverty itself keeps the poor from this. Only he can become a wine drinker, as can be seen among the poor. Pay attention: for another (single person) very little food and drink is needed, although the appetite plays, but for another - much more (married). Everyone take care of yourself. Everyone was terrified of Your Divine glory: You, the unartificed Virgin, had ecu in the womb of God above all and gave birth to the ecu flyless Son. 31 So, the glory of the Lady, Divine and human, for She had in her womb God above all and gave birth to a flightless Son like God the Father, in whose bosom the Son abides, from whose womb the Son was born, according to the Scripture: from the womb before the star I begat Thee [Ps. 109, 3]. Oh, the highest honor! Oh, unspeakable greatness! Oh, immeasurable shrine! But, Christians, through the Mother of God you too have been worthy of the highest glory and unspeakable nobility, for through the Lady the Lord of hosts became with us, through Her we came to know the Son of God and were and are worthy of His most pure Body and Blood. Through Her God abides in us and we in God. Why does our confusion often occur? Because of our doubt and arbitrariness in everyday affairs and because we do not cast our sorrow on God Almighty, we do not surrender to His will and Fatherly Providence, we do not trust Him to arrange our affairs. Let us commit ourselves and each other, and our whole life to Christ our God. Great word: maiden, virgin, virgin. Most of us have corrupted our virginity, internal and external, mental and physical, or if not physical, then spiritual - and a virgin in the true sense of the word is pure both in soul and body. Such is the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of the Lord Jesus Christ. She is the only pure one, incomparable in Her purity with earthly creatures and even with Angels. We are all unclean before Her, even our so-called virgins, because their hearts are unclean, although their bodies are virgins. How unclean I am in comparison with the Most Pure One! But, Most Pure One, cleanse me with Your all-powerful and all-favorable prayers. You can cleanse me, like the whole world is cleansed, like a treasure of purity. So, revere the Virgin, you, who lost your virginity long ago, even in infancy, and subsequently corrupted yourself entirely with prodigal uncleanness. Sorrow, oppression, evil, despondency, illness, confusion - although all this happens in me, it is not me, and “I” constitutes joy, boldness, space, goodness, peace, faith, hope. Whom do you touch, Whom do you accept into yourself, what kind of spirit should you have, Christian? The spirit of meekness, humility, holiness, the spirit is not earth-loving, but mountain-loving, God-loving, humane-loving. You must be entirely in God, you must breathe and live by Him. What kind of madman am I, what kind of monster? I eat and drink with pleasure when visiting and I love it when people treat me cordially; but if I come home and see guests in my house, I am upset and depressed in my heart, some kind of stinginess takes possession of me and I feel sorry for a person’s bread and grub, tea and sugar. But as soon as I vividly recognize and feel my madness and leave the grudge for bread and salt, it will become easy for me again. My God! Passions, like fierce harpies, gnaw at me and, of course, rightly so! When the enemy instills unclean carnal thoughts and lusts in you in class, remind him and yourself about the Sodomites and say: Sodom and Gomorrah. When envy of prosperity and ill-will towards your brother prevail, tell him: love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 22, 39, etc.]: I rejoice in the increase in my well-being - I want to rejoice in the increase in the well-being of my neighbor, for we are one body. Moreover, the Heavenly Father is the Father of generosity for everyone, not for me alone, for all are His children, and I am the most unworthy, unworthy of all to receive the gifts of His goodness, for is it possible to receive them for sins? And I am the greatest sinner in heart and in deeds. The earth is the Lord's (not mine), and its fulfillment, the universe and all who live on it [Ps. 23, 1]. As if you were the only ones settled on earth [Isa. 5, 8]. God's commandment must be fulfilled accurately and quickly, without hesitation, in the simplicity of the heart, without being carried away by the whims and ghosts of one's imagination or one's sinful, dark, nasty heart, and one's darkened mind - for they are unclean, powerless, rebellious (unpeaceful). I don’t care about them in their sinful state, as the offspring of the devil and his tools, as well as about the body. A person corrupted by sin is all an instrument of the devil - both the soul and the body are instruments of many different passions. Renewer of our corrupted nature, Jesus, help us! The devil is an ancient scoundrel: know firmly from whom all abominations are in the heart and in the thoughts; he is an ancient blasphemer: know from whom the blasphemy is in the heart. He is a deceiver: remember from whom the deceit [comes], and be simple-hearted, adhere to the simplicity of God: what and how is written in God’s word, so believe it. They say about some kind people: you just have to ask him for something - he will give it right away. This is all the more necessary to apply to the Lady Theotokos, to the Angels and holy people of God - the good servants of the good Master, only one must be able to ask with faith, heartily, diligently, to ask for what is truly useful and necessary for the soul and body, and not for whims. The Lord, the Lady, about whom I speak, read, whom I sing, praise, thank, whom I pray, is greater than all those in whose presence I speak, and I must always speak about Them with greatness, without being ashamed of anyone, without losing heart before anyone. The works of Peter the Great are carefully preserved and revered in special buildings, in places of honor, as the work of the Tsar. Now: man is the work of God's hands and the living image of God - how should he be protected from all the nasty, evil and blasphemous thoughts of other people, especially the bad deeds of others? This is a beautiful royal statue. When we say: I believe in one God the Father... in one Lord Jesus Christ... in one Lord the Holy Spirit, then we recognize ourselves as slaves who must always be ready to do the will of their Lord all the days of their lives. Daily bread is what is needed for existence, for maintaining life. This means that everyone must watch himself, how much he needs to eat just to maintain life, how much his body requires, and observe strict moderation in eating and drinking, and also not eat only for pleasure and delicacy. By daily bread here we especially mean the Body and Blood of the Savior and His holy word, also sincere prayer, conversation with pious people. I would not allow tobacco smokers, especially children, to breathe fresh air, I would not allow them to eat or drink until they smoke: eat tobacco, they say, when you are greedy for it, when you have perverted nature. And tea inflames flesh and blood and feeds passions. When the action of passion, the action of the devil, begins in the soul, then quickly try to introduce Christ into your heart by faith, and passion will disappear like smoke. Experience. About love. We are all branches of one great tree - the human race, or one living tree - our Lord Jesus Christ, members of His body, therefore we must live in mutual love. We are one body of many (1 Cor. 10:17). When you pray, bring your mind, heart and will into unity: what the mind thinks, what the tongue says, let the heart feel (not occupied with anything else), let the will strive for it. Not everyone who says to Me: “Lord! Lord!” will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in Heaven [Matt. 7, 21]. But what happens most of the time with us? The tongue speaks, but the mind does not understand, the heart does not sympathize (because it sympathizes with something else), there is no firm determination or any determination in the will to fulfill what prayer obliges. This is unreasonable, disorderly! Why does the mind cognize and collect various treasures of knowledge? - For the heart and will, for enlightenment and correction of the heart and for strengthening the will in virtue, in the law of God. This is the (main) goal of knowledge in various sciences. If this goal is not in mind, knowledge loses its value, does not have its center, its main, true thought. Then the entire building of knowledge is built on sand and connected by sand. Like a mirage house, it will soon fly apart, crumble and overwhelm and crush your heart. What is the use of knowledge if you do not teach a person to fight passions, temptations and overcome these passions and temptations? You will load the ship and, having launched it into the sea, you will not give it either a rudder or a helmsman, or you will separate the steam in the steam engine and let it run on steam without a driver. Obviously, both the ship and the car must crash, and you will have to answer for them to the owner of the ship and the car. Knowledge puffs up (1 Cor. 8:1). Many-knowledgeable people, who do not have the knowledge of God's will at the head of their knowledge, are proud, free-thinking, impudent, self-loving, and disobedient to the authorities. Teaching others is great wisdom! It is not in vain that it was said: not many become teachers, knowing that we will undergo greater condemnation [James. Z, 1]. Christian children are children of God after they were born by water and the Spirit. 33 What if you spoil God's children? What if they become corrupted by your lessons? What answer will you give to the Heavenly Father, what answer to the Lord Jesus Christ, who redeemed them with His honest Blood, and to the Holy Spirit, whose churches, abode, dwelling, home? What will their Guardian Angels say about you? What will the apostles and saints say about you - these shepherds and teachers, martyrs, reverends, all the saints, not without participation, moreover, the most sincere, looking from the heavens of the saints on the work of enlightening Christian children? For children are the property of God, the holiness of the Lord, the property of God. We are usually reluctant to accept the invitations of poor people to serve them according to our duty - but why are we appointed and live? To serve them and, therefore, we must rejoice that we can serve the Lord in the person of our neighbors, serve the Lord, fulfilling His command to be servants of our neighbors, just as He Himself came not to be served, but to serve and give His soul for the ransom of many [Matt. 20, 28; Mk. 10, 45]. We willingly accept an invitation to the table at home or to one of our acquaintances, friends, relatives, but this invitation must be accepted indifferently and sometimes reluctantly, for eating and drinking is not the work of a rational being, especially a Christian, but a function of an irrational material nature that must be destroyed. Food is for the belly, and the belly is for food; but God will destroy both (1 Cor. 6:13). The Kingdom of God is not food and drink [Rom. 14, 17]. My food, says the Savior, is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to complete His work [Jn. 4, 34]. This is how you shouldn’t trust your nature, your heart. It is always ready to go against the will of God. Therefore, let the servant of God deny himself, his heart and his will, as sinful and corrupt, and let him follow the will of God. You are called to serve your neighbor - go unquestioningly, willingly, with joy. Receive those who invite you with a cheerful look, meekly, with love and respect, and not with pride, reluctance, or irritability. Also: if you are tempted by the passions (malice, pride, contempt, stinginess, greed, gluttony, covetousness), you are a frequent participant in the Divine meat of the Body and Blood of Christ, you, standing before the very throne of the Lord, a reader and listener of the word of God, you, the son of prayer, you, the teacher of faith, the performer of the heavenly Sacraments - what can be said about laymen, for the most part alien to all this? If you consider yourself deserving of leniency as a weak and sinful person, then don’t they deserve it? If you yourself love obedience in others, then love it in yourself and be willing to obey those above and those below. Serve your neighbors willingly and without compensation, for it is said: My reward is with Me [Rev. 22, 12]. Your superiors reward you, but is this reward also God’s reward, that is, does the Lord agree with it, does the Lord sympathize with it? Isn't she disgusted with Him as unrighteous? Think about it, receiving a good monetary reward or orders and various distinctions. Hurry joyfully to serve your neighbor about the Lord and sincerely, heartily perform all the services for him: prayers, molebens, the Sacraments, pronouncing every word from the heart, knowing that such service before the face of God will bring you the greatest spiritual benefit. There are many, including me, who, having been invited, for example, to serve a prayer service, reluctantly accept this invitation and serve reluctantly and insincerely, in a hurry and therefore not only do not receive the benefit for their souls that should have been received, but also bring the curse of God on their heads, for cursed is the man who does the work of the Lord with negligence [Jer. 48, 10]. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for the wise and simple flow of words in the girls’ boarding school. I thank You, Lady Theotokos, for You heard my prayer and helped me teach Your maidens. Confirm me. I thank You, Lord Jesus, for the victory over the enemy, who overwhelmed me with shame and despondency and was overcome by Your simplicity in Your name; I thank You, for You have given me courage not to be overcome by his despondency. Grant me everlasting courage, 34 O Lord my God. When the enemy incites you to sin, say: I do not deign, no matter what the sin, even despondency or cowardice; and also say: although I have sinned, I trust in the mercy of God, in the Lord Jesus Christ, in His name; Although I have sinned, I am instigated by you, and I repent of sin, and I have contempt for it, I hate it and my very flesh, I know only the Lord. Words are a photograph of those persons, things and deeds or places that they depict, or they are a shadow of persons, things and deeds. Unbelievers! You will be condemned by the patriarchs, like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the forefather Job, and before them Enoch, Seth, Noah, the prophets, apostles, martyrs, saints, fasters and all the saints. They were the same as you people, and they were believers and fearers of God. With joy, always rush at the request of believers to the praise of the Lady, so that all your affairs will be managed for good. Do not say in your heart: I need to go here and there, do this and that, and do not be upset at those asking you to serve a prayer service to the Virgin Mary, simple or with an akathist, and do not serve with obstinacy, irritation, stubbornness and reluctance, but, like the thunderous trumpet of the Spirit, sing with spiritual joy the victorious and grateful songs of the Mother of God, or sing as the nightingale sings in clear summer evening. Let the devil’s stubbornness not be named in you: have complete disgust for it. Don’t open your mouth to someone else’s loaf. Eating someone else's bread and salt means taking on other people's sins. If it was obtained through untruth, you take part of someone else’s untruth upon yourself and must endure for it. Your own bread is blessed bread. Run away from sweets - they bind the heart. No one is worthy from those bound by carnal lusts and pleasures to come, or draw closer, or serve You, the King of glory. 35 If we see damage to a beautiful and precious statue, is it necessary to make this damage greater or is it better to correct this damage by means that depend on us? Of course it's better to fix it. But we do the opposite: if someone has sinned against us, or only it seems to us, we often hate him, get angry with him, scold him, and thus the damaged (or maybe not) image of God, man - this beautiful precious animated statue, the temple of the Holy Spirit - we damage more or, if it was not damaged, we damage it with the breath of our malice, and we also damage ourselves. Well, is there any reason to call another misfortune to one misfortune, another evil to one evil, and one’s own to someone else’s? Oh, satanic snares! Oh, the dislike is mutual! Whose followers are we? - The Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who commanded us mutual love before the Cross, and from the Cross, and after the Cross, and in general, with His whole life, teaching, miracles, and deeds, He commanded us love! The evil of others must be treated with love, pride with humility, impatience and irritability with patience and calmness of spirit, love of money and stinginess with generosity, envy with goodwill, obstinacy with meekness, guile with simplicity, rudeness with affection, gluttony with an example of abstinence, and one’s stubbornness with obedience. Do not despise anyone for their sins, as you yourself are the first sinner and as sins are greater than the evil of the devil, but honor and pity everyone as the sick, the mentally weak, and pray for everyone: Lord, have mercy and save them, and me, a sinner and many-sinners. If the devil attacks me with faith and hope that he will overcome me and torment me, and in any case attacks me, whether he overcomes me or not, then will I lose faith and hope in the mercy of my Lord, will I despair of His mercy and forgiveness, for the mercy of my Lord is infinitely greater than the malice of the devil? So, I trust in my Lord and will never despair of His mercy. The Church is the house of God, the family of God; The head in this house, in this family, its Father is Jesus Christ with the Father and the Holy Spirit. The Mother and Lady are the Most Holy Theotokos, the older brothers and sisters are saints: these are in heaven, in the upper department of the Church, in the lower are the bishops, shepherds and teachers, our fathers after the Lord and bearing His image, all living people are the older brothers and sisters. Therefore, one must always turn to the Lord as the Head and Father, with faith, hope and love; Also, the relationship towards the Lady and the saints should be childlike, sincere, reverent, firm, everlasting and unchanging, despite various oppositions, troubles, griefs, sorrows, losses, illnesses, misfortunes, because all this serves for good in the hands of the Heavenly Father. For the one who believes in God, all things will work out for good. The Lord has a shovel in His hand [Matt. 3, 12; OK. 3:17], that is, the devil with his many different temptations - fire, water, disease, fires, and so on. Do not be irritated when the poor and humble ask for your blessing. Do not be partial and deceitful in heart. After all, you are your blessing: your duty is to bless the people in the name of the Lord. Be a servant to all. Why is it that we willingly forgive riots to rich, noble, dignified and well-dressed people, but are irritated and despised by poor, humble, invisible and poorly dressed people for the same disorder? Oh, deceitful, perverse heart that transforms God’s order! Are we not all men, are we not all the image of God, are we not all members of Christ? Shouldn’t everyone be honored and loved, as the Apostle commands: Honor everyone, love the brotherhood (1 Pet. 2:17)? Do we pay respect to the imaginary nobility of blood, money, clothes, flesh and blood? Is it not the image of God implanted in the soul of man, is it not his immortal, rational, free, royal, majestic spirit, although often hiding his greatness in a humble form, under poor clothes, under a poor roof, at a poor meal, behind poverty? Oh, truly every man is a lie [Ps. 115, 2 ]! But especially lies are those people who, despite their contentment, are satiated with everything: food, drinks, silver and gold, soft and rich clothes, a magnificent dwelling, painted like a church, treatment of eminent and proud people. But blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are those who hunger... for they will be satisfied. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth [Matt. 5, 3, 6, 5]. Remember that life is a struggle with the principalities and powers and rulers of the darkness of this world, the spirits of wickedness in high places, and although it is difficult and stubborn and unclean and disgusting, fight tirelessly, hoping in God for your help, knowing that we are fighting with evil, despicable and vile spirits: Put on the whole armor of God... so that you can withstand on the evil day and, having done everything, to stand [ Eph. 6, 11, 13]. Do not have greed for food and drink, for money, do not be seduced by the jewels and sweets of this age, also by distinctions or awards - this shows a greedy spirit, a material lover, an earth lover, and not a God lover. Remember the temptation of the Savior in the wilderness and imitate Him in spirit. The spirit of greed for earthly things is the spirit of the devil. Set your mind on things above...where Christ sits at the right hand of God [Col. 3, 2, 1]. I will sing victory and gratitude, 36 unworthy servant, to the Lady Lady Theotokos, for through my prayer, my all-good and all-powerful Queen delivered me from stumbling twice today during the liturgy: 1) at the great entrance when listing the royal family and, secondly, at the thanksgiving service when reading the prayer of thanks. If there is no God in the heart, then there is the devil - someone alone. Why would Satan fill your heart? [Acts. 5, 3]. If there is the Spirit of God in me, then I am peaceful, and strong in spirit, and healthy in body, and when the devil takes up residence in me through an addiction to earthly pleasures and through anger towards my neighbor, then I weaken in spirit and heart, I become darkened, embarrassed, burned, and mad. The 4th of October was memorably the bitterest temptation for me. I officiated three weddings with Deacon Pyotr Alexandrovich and during the first wedding I was tempted by his lethargy and slowness - I was upset with him and therefore could not finish the wedding, that is, I could not pronounce the words due to the obstacle of Satan entrenched in the heart. After the wedding there were christenings - he performed them without hesitation, firmly, in front of the people who had gathered for the second wedding. I thought of correcting my mistake by properly marrying the second and third weddings, but my brother Pyotr Alexandrovich seduced me again with his lethargy, stupidity and clumsiness, and I was completely confused and embarrassed, I could not perform the wedding at all, bound by Satan along my ribs; The third wedding was also celebrated badly: he stumbled at the very beginning and could not read the prayers; at the very end, a certain spirit of tenderness appeared in me, and I regularly completed the wedding. Now I have come to know Satan and his malice, and my own pride and malice. Why should I be upset at my brother’s lethargy and slowness? May not my brother be tempted in the same way as I? Couldn't he be confused, dull and lethargic, just like with me? He is a godly man, and his enemy tempts him in the same way as other godly people. Am I myself without weaknesses and stumbling blocks? Oh, with what weaknesses and stumbling blocks! Today (not to mention many that have happened before) has shown me and people what great weaknesses I have! How terribly I can stumble and fall during the celebration of the Sacrament itself (Marriage), and sometimes the Sacraments of Repentance and Communion (and sometimes Baptism)! Really, I should have blamed my brother’s mistakes for nothing, covered them with my love, condescension, remembering the general human weakness and the many different weaknesses of individual people (including my own), I should have endured them, but I was upset with him - the enemy was happy about that, and moved into me, and began to oppress, burn, confuse, amaze me with humiliation and cowardice and torment me, and took my word away, not allowing me to say prayers. Oh, I am a dubious man of little faith! Oh, I'm evil! Disdainful! The reason for the temptation was also the modest lunch at [Sharypova’s]: although it was not much, I ate pleasantly, and this, as I felt, broke my heart. We must fast, watch and pray. I have sinned grievously, my Savior, save me! I have sinned, but I surrender to Your will. I knew the cruelty of the enemy, his hellish malice! And how dear is my Savior to me in the face of such a great, strong, crafty, evil enemy! How I must be disgusted by every, even momentary, thought of malice or movement of the heart towards malice and all passionate movements as movements of the devil, for example, fornication, covetousness, gluttony, stinginess, envy, hatred, pride, stubbornness, disobedience, deceit. What a national disgrace my anger has subjected me to today! And rightly so. If you have a log, you don’t care, but if someone else has a bitch, it’s a disaster. That's how little love and condescension there is for one's neighbor. I myself am relaxed, lethargic and distracted - it doesn’t matter, the other one is a disaster! Deeply, O Lover of Mankind, I have now sinned involuntarily. Here is an opportunity to show You Your immeasurable goodness and cleanse my iniquities, my stumblings, my malice, my negligence! There is no sin, conquering Your love for mankind. 37 What are all my sins and all kinds of sins compared to Your goodness? -Like morning dew. When, willingly or unwillingly, you fall into grave sin, then give place to virtue to trust in the mercy of God. What the sun is in the material world, God is in the spiritual world. The planets revolve around the sun and are illuminated; in the spiritual - Angels turn around the Lord and are enlightened by Him and live by Him. If your eye is simple, your whole body will be bright [Matt. 6:22], that is, if you are in the simplicity of God, without sin in your heart, then your whole soul will be bright; If your eye is evil, for example, if your heart is embittered towards your neighbor, your whole body, that is, your soul, will be dark [Matt. 6, 23]. And therefore we must be zealous with all our might for the simplicity of the soul, that is, for sinlessness. So I was celebrating a wedding, but as soon as I doubted the pronunciation of the word, I immediately became confused. There is no need to doubt. Or I just became embittered at the deacon’s apparent malfunction, when my heart immediately became darkened, embarrassed, weakened, my tongue was tied, and I could not perform the wedding. Don't trust the dreamer enemy: he shows mirages. How I wish and sometimes ask for the leniency of others when I stumble or sin in something! I must be condescending to another when he sins against me, and say to myself: it’s okay, I’m sinning myself, God will forgive you, brother. Don't be hasty. This is also a devilish trick. If you drive more quietly, you will continue. Love is long-suffering, merciful... does not get irritated, does not think evil of one's neighbor... covers everything... endures everything. Love never ceases (1 Cor. 13:4-8), even if others become angry with us, cause us various troubles, insults, beat or scold us. For if others are evil or faulty, then should I also be evil and add another to one insult? Or should I be faulty? Love is perfection, and evil and sin in general, malfunction, stumbling, are imperfection. If others, as weak people, sin and stumble, then I, of course, should not be upset with them, become embittered, and add something new to the imperfections of others. Be perfect, that is, loving, as your Father in heaven is perfect [Matt. 5, 48]. Do not be tempted by the sins and stumblings of others. Either correct with love, or cover with love. Put out the fire with water. Everything is from God - thought, feeling (good), word, and deed (good), for He alone did and does everything, as He alone exists; and in the devil and demons, while they were holy Angels, everything was God’s, and when they fell and rejected God and God cast them, as stinking, evil and worthless, into the abyss, everything became their own: their own malice, pride, lies, envy and other hordes of passions, and Satan and the devil constitute a pure negation of life, truth and goodness, they are death, lies, evil. By demeaning in your soul the immaculate, holy, wise prayers of the Church (some thoughts and expressions), you humiliate and disgrace yourself. He who humiliates Me will be dishonest (1 Samuel 2:30). Treat all prayers with complete respect. Throw away wickedness and demonic pride. Although the evil one pierces you with his wickedness while reading marriage prayers, laugh at his wickedness, despise him and revere the immaculate Divine prayers of the Mother of the Church, instructed by the Holy Spirit. Her words are the words of the Holy Spirit. How good, merciful and generous You are, O Lord my God! From what great and grave sins You cleanse and save me, so that You may show that there is no sin, conquering Your love for mankind and that Your mercies are countless to those who trust in Your mercy! Great, immensely great is the malice and deceit of the devil, with which he seduces Your servants, but Your goodness is endless, Your bounties are countless. Behold, my Mercy, I fell deeply at the wedding of two marriages, stumbling while reading prayers with the wickedness and malice of the devil against a brother who allegedly sinned, and You tied my tongue, and I could not read the prayers because my heart looked slyly at the pure words of the marriage prayers and became embittered at the concelebrating deacon for his sluggishness. And what sorrow and distress, what darkness, what shame and humiliation overwhelmed me! I was completely burning with inner fire! I thought: trouble! when I will atone for my sin, when Your mercies will return to me again! But then they returned: You cleansed, You covered my sins through the communion of the Body and Blood of Your Lamb, who took upon Himself the sins of the world and mine, and now I am pacified after the storm of cowardice and shame; my spirit is at peace, I am right by You, O all-righteous Lamb of God; I am healthy after bodily relaxation, hellish fire does not rage in my insides, Satan does not triumph in my insides: he ran away, ran away to himself and gnashed his teeth, standing from afar, not daring to approach me, washed by Your Blood! Oh, how great are Your mercies, O Lord my God, against my countless sins and the many snares of the enemy! I thank You, I glorify You, I worship You, my God, Father, Son and Holy Soul! Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world and who continually take away and cleanse my sins, I thank You, I praise You, I worship You. Behold, rationally, more rationally, I see how great is Your love, Your generosity towards us who have fallen, how necessary Your suffering and death for us and the outpouring of Your blood were for the cleansing of our sins! But, Lamb of God, make me perfect in Your paths! God! I am dear to You - do not destroy me with my iniquities and do not allow me to grow cold before You with my heart and the destructive ways of my mother-in-law! Descend me from the jaws of the hellish serpent, ever ready to devour me! Save, Lord, and have mercy on all Christians and the whole world! Enlighten everyone, O Lord, grant to everyone to know You from the heart, take away everyone’s sins, as you took away my countless sins, cleanse and whiten me; Unite everyone, O Lord, with the love of Your Holy Spirit, so that with one heart and one mouth, from the east of the sun to the west, they will glorify Your all-saving name, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. October 6th day. 1864. Morning. We often say in church in the hearing of the people: Our Most Holy, Most Pure, Most Blessed, Glorious Lady Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary, with all the saints... let us commit ourselves and each other, and our whole life to Christ our God. Do we surrender ourselves, each other and our whole lives, with all the joys and sorrows, successes and failures, with virtues and falls, to Christ our God, the Almighty, All-Good, All-Knowing, All-Wise, All-Provident Head of believers? He is the Lamb of God, Who takes away the sin of the world [Jn. 1, 29], He is the renewer of our corrupted nature, He is our light, strength and help, He is our reward. He is the Father of the next century. The poor are Christ's sheep, meek and humble. Through the rich and powerful of this world, the devil breathes pride, contempt, bitterness and persecution upon them. But we must remember that the poor bear the poverty of Christ God, for us for the sake of the poor, or they serve as an image of Christ, for the sake of us for the poor. Let him deny himself [Matt. 16, 24, etc.]. A Christian must daily deny himself, his heart corrupted by sins. For example, my corrupted nature, or heart, desires malice and contempt for those who offend me, but I must immediately reject it from my heart for the sake of the Lord and love my enemies and do good to those who harm me [Matt. 5, 44], remembering that my nature is corrupt. Covetousness, gluttony, fornication, adultery, sloth, envy, theft, stinginess, rudeness, cruelty, disobedience and stubbornness, ingratitude and so on are pleasant, but I must despise them, knowing that all these are rotten, dead fruits of the old man. Damn man I am! I want to correct the sinner, but I myself make it worse, because I become embittered towards him and am troubled in spirit by my anger and his shortcomings, and I upset the work I am doing. God! Teach me not to be embittered at someone who sins and not to be embarrassed, but to be at peace and then correct my brother with meekness and love. Stain on clothes; a stain on the soul, or sin. How are these and other stains treated in the world? Name day (obsolete) - name day, that is, the holiday of the saint of the same name (from the Church Slav. “tez” - the same; hence “namesake”). Lepotny (Church Slavic) – beautiful, handsome. Lepota is beauty. Reputation (French) is an established opinion about someone or something, usually favorable. Ninth member of the Creed: I believe... in one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. Osset - to surround with nets, that is, to take possession of a person’s soul, to subjugate it to oneself. Packs (Church Glav.) - again, again. Hedgehog (church glory) - what, which. Song 8 of the canon for Holy Communion. Flightless (Church Slavic) – timeless, eternal. Wed. dogmatist, voice 6th: Who will not please You, Most Holy Virgin? Who will not sing of Your most pure Nativity? Flightless, for from the Father the Only Begotten Son rose up, He also passed from You, Pure, indescribably incarnated, by nature God and by nature being man for our sake, not divided into two persons, but unmergedly cognizable into two natures. Pray to him, O Pure One, All-Blessed One, to have mercy on our souls. Irmos of the 5th song of the canon at Matins, tone 6. A harpy is a bird of prey in ancient Greek mythology with a female head and torso. Birth by water and the Spirit - baptism ("to be born" (Church Glav.) - to be reborn, to be reborn). Ever (Church Glorious) – always, constantly. Secret prayer of a priest while singing the Cherubic Song. I will sing a song of victory and gratitude (church glory) - I will sing a song of gratitude and victory (raise up). You might be interested in: