Май

May 3. Thursday. Why was I angry with the sexton, that I came late, that in his place there would be a hundred people like him? Why did I offend, why? Why not wait for him a little, just five minutes? Where was I in a hurry? I had to sit at home for a whole hour, waiting for guests. I want to please some, I insult others. Something's wrong. Have mercy, Lord! From now on, let me not get excited, let me be quiet and meek, let me not cry out against anyone, let me not argue, let my angry voice not be heard at the crossroads [Matt. 12, 19]. Scolded. You know that your brother needs no more food and drink today than he did yesterday, and that he will not eat or drink more than his capacity, yet out of some kind of madness, out of some blind greed and stinginess, we spare him sweet food and drink, envying him, despising him, being angry with him. Oh, ridiculous heart! This is what senselessness, what darkness a person falls into when his heart turns away from love for God and neighbor! This is how absurd sin is - and yet, alas! we continue to commit sins. This is how attachment to earthly things and enmity towards one’s neighbor punishes itself! Konstantin is a kind and moderate brother: don’t be indignant that he likes to sit with guests - he is a man, and a young one at that, he enjoys being with people and is bored alone. Accept him with a simple heart, with a kindred feeling, do not spare him anything - he will not eat or drink more than yesterday. Whatever is good, or whatever is good, but the brethren must live together [Ps. 132, 1]. Take away enmity from me, Lord, and plant love in me. Our old man daily invents various reasons for enmity with his neighbors, most of all food, drink, money, clothing, dishes, furniture or carriage, horses or poultry, and in general things at hand; many people eat and drink - enmity and envy; Anyone who eats fast food with me, but I can’t stand fast food and am at enmity with him, although often only because I myself do not dare allow it, while my mouth waters at the sight of fast food, and although sometimes I myself allow it at a party and at home and do not consider it a serious sin. What should be done? There is no need to judge others and look at what tempts. Everyone has his own mind and understands what is true and what is sin, everyone has a free will, which God does not violate and which can be inclined to good only by the word of prudence and example. We must suppress our passions, notice their cunning and despise them, calling for help the all-powerful helper God, Who said: without Me you can do nothing [Jn. 15, 5]. Maintain love in every possible way and act friendly with everyone, without giving reasons for disagreement, and it is possible to stop any disagreement that occurs; everything earthly and your very flesh and what is for the flesh: sweet food, drinks, clothes, amusements, theaters, feasts and other things - to despise as perishable, ephemeral things, like chaff 41, smoke, steam, sleep. It is possible to maintain peace of mind in every possible way, as Scripture says: be at peace with one another [1 Thess. 5, 13 ]; strive to have peace with everyone and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord [Heb. 12, 14]. He who, having wealth, does not spare his neighbors in need and need food, drink, money, clothes and gives them to them willingly, who does not grieve over the loss of earthly things, he is wise on earth, and he who is greedy, stingy, selfish, hard-hearted, and indulges in intense grief at losses, he is wise on earth; whoever does not worry about smart clothing, but is content with decent and sufficient clothing that protects from the harmful influence of the elements, and does not grieve over its damage and loss, is not irritated with his neighbor because of it, who does not chase after tasty foods and drinks, but is content with bread, simple stew and water - he is wise in heaven; whoever does not seek glory from people, but from the one God, who sees all the secrets of the heart and rewards everyone according to their deeds, who is not offended by untruth, insults, dishonor, enduring all this with meekness - he is a wise man on high; He who, with his family and neighbors, tries by all means to maintain love and peace, without giving and eliminating reasons for disagreement, is a true Christian. And there will be one flock and one Shepherd [John. 10, 16]. Word. Whoever fasts from modest food is certainly fasting from anger, envy, love of money, stinginess and other passions. If, while fasting physically, he does not fast spiritually, he is a hypocrite. We must constantly counteract the poison of sin acting in us through prayer, meditation, reading the Holy Scriptures and the writings of the holy fathers, fasting, vigil, virtue, especially meekness, humility, mercy, repentance and communion of the Divine Body and Blood. The enemy is strong over us through pleasing the belly; one must enslave the belly, not work the belly. From excesses in food and drink, paralysis of parts of the body occurs; Lenten food must be consumed during all fasts, as well as on Wednesdays and Fridays. Until now, you have always eaten and drank well and satiatedly, but from now on, with God’s help, eat and drink not to your fullest, and hunger and thirst for the sake of Christ and the Kingdom of Heaven, for many spiritual troubles arise from our constant satiety, many passions are aroused, supported, intensified, and spiritual peace is disturbed. On fasting days, just one tea and a bun is enough for you. Grant to me, Lord, to completely depict You in me and to be depicted to me in You and by You. The beauty of elegant clothes, attracting our eyes and hearts, turns the eyes of our hearts away from the source of all beauty and does not allow us to see the sinful ugliness and poverty of our souls and to humble ourselves and repent of contrition of heart. We must wear humble, simple clothes. When guests come to your house, do not be stern and gloomy and alien to them, like an animal when another animal comes to its den. We - people created in the image and likeness of God, moreover, Christians, children of the one Heavenly Father - must live in mutual love and communication. Do not be gloomy during your meals with strangers, but be friendly and cheerful, so that your bread and salt will be to the pleasure of your neighbors and to the glory of God. Do not be contemptuous of the poor when they ask you for alms, but be meek and humble, kind and willingly yielding, so that alms given with kindness will be doubly pleasant and will bring down upon you the deep blessing of God. Remember your spiritual poverty and atone for it with voluntary bodily poverty. The sign of the cross, with which we are marked, means that we are Christ’s, redeemed by His Blood and His death. Grant, Lord, to Your people to know the flattery and destruction of sin. Make us, O Lord, worthy of Thy shrine, Thy deification, lift us up from earthly attachments to heavenly blessings, to the heavenly Kingdom. His appearance was like lightning [Matt. 28, 3]. This is the nature of the spirit - light and fast, like lightning, like thought. With the name of the Angel, the Holy One, you are already honored to have it in your thoughts and in your heart, to use its communication, even more so with the name of God, if you pronounce or think, feel with faith, with love, with fear. But the evil spirit is also quick as lightning: one crafty, blasphemous, nasty, evil thought, admitted to the heart, connects with it, the accursed. Therefore, we must beware of the single unrighteous thought and think on whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report [Phil. 4, 8 ]! Our Father, we say, Who is in heaven, means that our fatherland is heaven. This is a great prayer, it teaches us a lot in a few words: that God is our Father in Jesus Christ, and we are His children and heirs and joint heirs with Christ, and among ourselves we are brothers and must live unceasingly in unanimity and love; that our fatherland is heaven, and here we are strangers and strangers [Heb. 11, 13] and should not cleave to earthly blessings, as alien to us; that we must try in every possible way to live holy, reigning over lusts and passions, denying ourselves and fulfilling the will of God; that we should strive not for food that perishes, but for food that endures to eternal life [Jn. 6 G 27]; that we must study unceasingly in the word of God, which is verbal and unflattering milk, 42 ​​and remain in prayer, which saturates and fattens not the body, but the soul; that we should not worry about what to eat and drink, and take care of supplies for a long time, for many years, but be content with simple and moderate food and, working to gain it, most of all seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, which we lost in paradise and found in Christ; that we must ardently desire the forgiveness of our sins and constantly pray to the Lord for this, forgiving the offenses and mistakes of our neighbors, praying to God for them: do not put this sin on them, and avoiding rancor; that we must always be ready to face temptations courageously or, recognizing our weakness in the fight against them, pray to the goodness of God to deliver from them, or from the evil one, because strong men like David, Peter and others fell in temptation. The Kronstadt society needs an engine to raise public funds for the construction or renovation of the church. The society is ready for donations. To read the Psalms of David well, one must stand, so to speak, in the place of David and have his spirit, his faith, his love for God, his importance, his sorrows, his repentance. Better give alms from what you have, then everything will be pure for you [Lk. 11, 41]. I have experienced this myself many times. Alms cleanses sins [Sir. 3.30]. Who will caress and caress the poor, adults and children, except you? They at least want to see in you a father who takes pity on them. Everyone scolds them and sometimes beats them. That's why they caress you. You live in constant caresses, and they live in constant scolding: everyone scolds them. You don’t have to worry every day about finding food, drink, clothing, rent, but they worry about this every day - isn’t it work, isn’t it a heavy cross? The quality of children is gullibility, simple-heartedness: if you caressed them once, they are ready to run up to you every day in the hope of meeting the same affection, and since they are not familiar with the torment of passions and mental anguish, they do not suspect them of being adults and do not think that they can sometimes be very upset. We must spare their gullibility, simple-heartedness, and good nature in their souls, and not irritate or embitter them. Rich people with all their wealth are earth and decay; not for the sake of them as rich and about their wealth during the service, but apply all your zeal to God and to prayer, to the essence of what you read, to the wealth of spiritual content. In front of military people, scientists, rich people, who like to carry themselves importantly, to set, as they say, the tone, one must also behave importantly, somewhat casually, boldly, because they themselves like it, however, in their souls they reverence God. There is a proverb: to live with wolves is to howl like a wolf. May 9th. Evening. What a plot did the disembodied enemy play against me this evening? When I began to read the Lord’s Prayer aloud and at the sight of the guests (Zhukovsky, Kromido, young Mikhelson) before the meal, then in words and forgive us our debts, embarrassed and doubtful, I stumbled and, like a man in a frenzy, could not finish reading it; the enemy has eaten me! What embarrassment, what shame I felt during the table and afterwards! I couldn’t look the guests straight in the face. I was ashamed of the young man! And why be ashamed? At the royal house on Ascension, during the liturgy, the enemy cut me off: he said the heir and heiress, and he finished without even telling the entire royal house. The enemy will bind me along my ribs, he will bring upon me extreme weakness, confusion, fear, doubt! My God! What is happening to me? Oh, how difficult it is to control yourself in front of people in church and at home. Oh, damned flesh! The enemy especially tempts me before meals: at least don’t sit at the table. All my guests are not nice, and that’s all, I don’t want to look. With God's help you overcome the violence of the enemy - and everyone will become nice, and you don’t know how best to please. What kind of Christian person am I that I cannot establish spiritual peace in myself? Is this a Christian way of celebrating a holiday - playing secular songs on instruments, quadrilles, polkas, mazurkas, dancing, playing cards? Is this not the work of the flesh, or the world, or the demon? Where is the reflection on the life of our Lord Jesus Christ and on all His deeds done for the sake of salvation? Where is our imitation of our Master? Where is the correction of heart and life? Where is the fiery love for God? Where is the sincere respect for one's neighbor, sympathy, rejoicing for him, condolences for him, condescension towards him? Where is the wisdom about heavenly things? Where is the impartiality towards others? Oh, storms of passion, oh, violence of hostility! How sudden, deadly, humiliating, ferocious you are! Disdain for the sweets and beauties of the world, indifference to the sorrows of the body and spiritual, and disdain for the rude and ugly. You were visiting: were you diligently, cordially received and treated, and did you feel very pleased about it? Receive your guests cordially and treat them with complacency, so that they too will be just as pleased with you, and you will fulfill the commandment of the Lord. Moreover, look, if you yourself are visiting, you should have guests. But here’s a lesson for you: avoid lust, for it entails strong temptations (fornication, stinginess, hard-heartedness, malice) and puts love for God and neighbor in extreme danger. So, do not be seduced by breastfeeding. Fury or grief and sadness of the heart when giving alms or treating guests means a strong attachment of the heart to earthly goods and extreme lack of faith and lack of hope in eternal blessings, a lack of hope for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the next century. If you sincerely say: I hope for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the next century, prove your hope by deed: do not cleave to earthly things, do not get angry because of them, love the things above, live in heaven with your mind and heart. Know your nobility: you are a child of the Heavenly Father, your fatherland is heaven, your inheritance is heavenly, not earthly, your residence is with God and the Angels; blessings are in store for you incorruptible, true, imperishable, but on earth everything is perishable, and He who created you in His image and likeness did not create you for them, considering it unworthy that one created in the image of the eternal, incorruptible God should enjoy only perishable blessings, considering it fair to introduce him to the enjoyment of eternal blessings for loyalty to his Creator. Remember this. On some days there is no need to eat at all, not only for the sake of purity and tranquility of the heart and greater love for God, but also for the sake of health, for an excess of strength that is not used in action can be a burden to a person, weakens the body and soul and causes illness. The first man is from the earth, earthy; the second person is the Lord from heaven. As is the earthy, so are the earthy; and as is the heavenly, so are the heavenly. And just as we have borne the image of earth, we will also bear the image of heaven [1 Cor. 15, 47 – 49]. How sublime are the words of promise! Let us throw away from our hearts everything earthy, earthly, and corruptible, let us put on the image of the heavenly Adam - the Lord Jesus Christ, consider everything earthly as rubbish, let us put on heavenly thoughts, desires, aspirations, holiness, meekness, humility, patience, obedience, cheerfulness, courage, silence, attention to ourselves, abstinence from everything that exalts 43 piety. When we stand in church during worship, especially when we stand before the throne of the Lord, then we must be heavenly, for the church is truly an earthly heaven, and put aside all worldly cares, not think about anything earthly, but whoever is devoted in life to various passions, lusts and pleasures, is exposed in the church internally, feels heaviness in his heart and throughout his whole being, rejection of God. I am the first of sinners in this regard, and in everything. But how, on the contrary, how sweet and light is the heart of a person who, in church, is immersed with all his soul in God! He tastes heavenly bliss on earth. All godly people know this from experience! In God is our life, our peace and bliss! How many favorite things a person has, so many idols, so many heart diseases, so many obstacles that remove him from God. It would be better if these things did not exist; if they did not exist, there would be no sorrows caused by them, for when there is a danger of losing them, then there is strong sorrow in the soul due to the action of the enemy. Blessed is the non-covetous man: he does not know these sorrows, he constantly works for God alone and purifies his soul, raising it from perfection to perfection. The covetous person’s soul is like a sieve, for through covetousness flows out all that is good, all good thoughts, feelings, intentions, and deeds. Saints of God lived heavenly on earth, not clinging to anything earthly, in unceasing vigil, prayer, fasting, in the desire for heavenly and eternal blessings, the enjoyment of an incorruptible and blissful life. Inflamed by the fire of Divine love, they despised all earthly luxury, all splendor, all sweetness, for all this is insignificant, rude, priceless for the immortal spirit. The saints of God are all the more amazing because the whole world constantly clings to earthly things, chasing after earthly things and not heavenly things, and they (the saints) serve as a slight exception, for there are very few truly wise people in the world, everyone seeks their own, and not what pleases Jesus Christ [Phil. 2, 21], everyone loved a loving and beloved life 44, and not that future age and not the future imperishable blessings, so great and excellent that the earthly eye cannot see, and the earthly ear cannot hear, and the heart of man does not breathe what God has prepared for those who love Him [1 Cor. 2, 9]. The devil knows these benefits from experience, for he was once a participant in them, and out of envy he uses all measures to deprive us of these benefits through flattery and worldly addictions. He constantly repeats one thing in his thoughts and in his heart: seek earthly blessings, love earthly blessings, future blessings are unknown - and so we chase the shadow, the smoke. May 11. Saints Equal to the Apostles Cyril and Methodius. Cathedral service. Almost everyone in the royal house rarely spoke, and may the Lord God remember Ekaterina Mikhailovna and her husband’s words. He preached the sermon from a notebook. God! You have betrothed me to Yourself with great mercies; do not deprive me of Your mercies to the end for the sake of Your name! My guest Alexey Ulyanovich told about the former Minister of Internal Affairs Golovnin (Alexander Vasilyevich) that he was so meek and gentle that no one and nothing could upset or irritate him. He once sent more than a thousand rubles to his peasants for their extreme needs. They drank this money away. When they told him about this, he heard it as if he had not heard, and was not in the least disturbed in spirit. God! Teach me true meekness and long-suffering. Today I sinned against the Lord: I got angry at the poor children who were relentlessly (of course in need) asking for alms, and tore one by the hair in the hearts, and hit another by the ears and hit him on the head with his palm (little Lesha). But he himself was cruelly wounded in his soul and fell from the grace of God. Through heartfelt repentance I received 45 more peace. Who am I angry at? Are they on the poor, the bloodless, the powerless? Compare your fate with their participation, your food, clothes, chambers?.. Burned by the hellish fire of passions, we have an extreme need for the cooling and revitalizing dew of God's grace. (Homily on the Sunday of the Samaritan and the Midsummer. If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink [John 7:37].) How deeply true is the image of the rich man suffering in the fires of hell and thirsting for a single drop of water (grace) [Lk. 16, 24]. Sinners! Woe to you without grace. Seek grace. We so often transgress the commandments of our Lord Jesus Christ and so often fall to Him with prayer for mercy and the granting of various benefits - is He angry with us? Doesn’t he always meekly listen to us and have mercy on us if we sincerely repent and ask? Why, how dare we be angry with the poor when they often and persistently ask us for alms? Why don’t we meekly listen to them? What if the Lord acts [with] us in a similar way, that is, as we do? Who of us will stand then? Then we would all have to disappear from the face of the earth, and there would be no trace of us. Little faith! Why do you still not see Jesus Christ in the face of the poor? Co-creator with me [Matt. 25, 40]. Why do you give alms not with joy, but with sorrow? Why are you angry with them? Why do you crucify the Son of God the second time? Why don’t you philosophize on high, contemplating with the eye of faith in the poor Christ, the children of God, His members and heirs of the heavenly Kingdom? Why do you think earthly blessings are something when they are dust? How should we behave when we meet a person who is not friendly to us and to whom our heart also does not lie, whom it hates and despises, with whom we do not want to say hello? “We must immediately force ourselves to sincerely pray to God for him, as we pray for ourselves, so that the Lord will have mercy on him; We must remember the words of the Savior: And if you greet only your brothers, what special are you doing? Don't the pagans do the same? [Matt. 5, 47]. What does the Lord require from us in these words? Demands that we cordially greet our enemies and ill-wishers for the sake of the Lord. So, today I met a young merchant I knew, who, when he met me, did not greet me, and my heart was indignant and embarrassed from a feeling of enmity towards him; but I now overpowered myself and began to force myself to sincerely pray for him, as if for myself, so that the Lord would forgive every sin of his, excuse him, attribute his bitterness against me to our common enemy and the slanderer of our brethren, I said to myself internally that it is in such cases that I must show my obedience to the Savior and His Gospel, when my old man wants to act on the contrary, of his own free will! How to act when we meet beggars, true beggars, constantly asking for alms, and moreover, every day, sometimes several times, and when our heart is furious at them, not wanting to give and stubbornly resisting their request? “We must immediately submit as much as we can, as much or half as much as they demand or as much as we can.” What to do when false shame or fear haunts us? – Again, on the contrary, we must triumph and be cheerful; if this happens during prayer, you must look at the people or at the icons with a triumphant and courageous face and say prayers with all your heart. What should we do when the same guests come to us frequently and our heart despises and hates them? Since contempt and hatred are from the enemy, who constantly besets us, we must force ourselves in every possible way to unfailing love and respect for our guests, remembering the words of the Apostle that love never fails, is long-suffering, merciful, does not seek its own, does not think evil, is not conceited, is not proud, covers all things, trusts all things, endures all things [1 Cor. 13, 4–5]. In relation to this, one must behave in the presence of other passions. It is imperative to put a measure in the stomach, because in itself it is unreasonable and, with a false appetite, can take food and drink much more than is appropriate and cause harm to the soul and body. For example, you should drink no more than two or three small glasses of tea in the evening, when we are not eating anything else liquid, and if we are eating, then less: one or only two small glasses. Otherwise, we will harm ourselves with excess. God! Forgive my sin: I attached my heart to soulless trees and made them, as it were, idols for myself, greatly regretting that my brother, father Archpriest Matthew, cut them down, and then in his garden. One should not cleave to anything earthly, but to the one God. How many lessons did God give you: for the vestments, for the Vladimir ribbon, for the kamilavka, that you spared your ribbon and kamilavka during the service so as not to smoke?! The wrong direction of the mind and heart is when, seeing our former colleagues or relatives and acquaintances poorly dressed, we are ashamed and alienated from them, instead of sympathizing with them and showing them all kindness, which is especially dearly valued by poor people, for everyone turns away from them. There is a saying: a true friend is known through misfortune. By my very alms I offend, and not kindly, the poor, because: 1) I do not give them as much as they demand; 2) I give reluctantly, with my heart, with resentment and malice; 3) I give without faith in the fact that they are members of Christ and children of God; 4) I give it not as a gift from God and their property, but as an inalienable property, which I alone have the right to use; 5) I consider them, innocent and poor, pitiful, defenseless, my enemies, villains, swindlers, robbers, just because they relentlessly demand alms from me every day. But tell me, how can they behave differently when, if they do not persistently ask, they may remain hungry, go to bed without eating all day, or they will be kicked out of the apartment for non-payment of money, or they will have to walk barefoot or without a shirt? Their situation is difficult, and one must always sympathize with them, feel sorry for them, be forgiving to them a lot, and excuse their impudent demands. We must more impartially compare our condition with their condition - our gluttony with their wretched meal, our rich clothes with their rags, our wide and bright chambers with their cramped and dirty corner, our income with their small booty, abundance, our salary with the pennies that few give them. It is necessary with joy, and not with sorrow, to give alms daily to the poor, as to Christ Himself, generously, and not sparingly, of course, if possible; do not be upset that you have to give to the same people every day, for Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever [Heb. 13, 8]. What to do when our needs are the same every day: every day we want to eat and drink, get dressed and be under a roof, breathe air and need light, fire, etc. Such is our spontaneous life. Earthly, perishable, imperfect. Let's be patient, for God's sake. The time will come when there will be no need for anything like that, when God will be all things in all [1 Cor. 15, 28]. Let us place our trust in God, and not in elemental, perishable things that cannot give life, because they themselves are soulless. The source of passions is excess in food and drink. God! I thank Thee with all my heart for all Thy powers, which Thou hast amazed hitherto upon me, the weakest and the most sinful. I thank Thee, for through the prayer of Thy most pure Mother, Thy powers are manifested on others, by the power of the Honest and Life-giving Cross, by the intercession of the disembodied Heavenly Powers, the holy glorious Prophet and Forerunner, the holy glorious apostles, hierarchs, martyrs, saints, unmercenaries, the righteous and all the saints, always call them to me in prayer. The words of Mr. Alexandrovsky, a member of the customs, who was traveling with me on the ship from Kronstadt to St. Petersburg, regarding those susceptible to drunkenness are very reasonable: he calls drunkenness, like binge drinking, a disease and considers drunkards worthy of all regret. Telling a drunkard: stop drinking is the same as telling a seriously ill person: stop being sick, be healthy now. Shouldn’t the same be said about those subject to other passions: lust, love of money, ambition, enmity and malice, envy, stinginess, etc.? Of course, all these passions are also diseases of the spirit or, more precisely, passions, but passions of will, passions of the heart and will, and with intense meditation based on the word of God, with constant attention to oneself and self-restraint, with unceasing inner prayer, with the help of the saving Sacraments of Repentance and Communion, one can become free from them, for everything is possible for the believer [Mk. 9, 23 ]; a believer can move mountains [Matt. 17, 20], these spiritual mountains of passions that our pride and our self-love raised and confirmed in us. How unreasonable and inconsistent we are in our lives and in our actions! We are afraid of the strong, noble and rich of the world, we are cowardly before them, we are servile before them, and we often despise our subordinates, the beggars and the poor, the ignorant and the simple, we hurl 46 curses at them, we become embittered at them! Why, fulfilling the royal law, according to Scripture, love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 22, 39 ], we do not love everyone and everyone with unfeigned love, be affectionate and respectful with everyone, respect everyone, even the least of the poor; not to be afraid of some and not to make others tremble, not to be servile to some and to serve others with joy, not to humiliate ourselves before some and not to humiliate others, and just as we want our superiors or equals to receive us kindly, cordially, obligingly, so we treat our equals and subordinates or relatives, the poor and ignorant just as kindly and obligingly! I sinned against the Lord greatly: I humiliated and insulted a poor boy, created in the image and likeness of God, redeemed by the Blood of Christ, a member of Christ and my own, becoming embittered at him and calling him a little dog! Oh, I'm crazy, daring, proud, frivolous! Do I thus fulfill the law of Christ, my God and King: that you love one another, as I have loved you [Jn. 15, 12 ]? So do I remember His words: just as you did it to one of the least of these My brothers, you did it to Me [Matt. 25, 40 ] ? Is this how I fulfill the work of Divine alms? Do I really deny myself, my passions, for the sake of my King, who gave Himself for me [Gal. 2.20 ] ? Where is the spirit of love, gratitude, meekness, humility, kindness, patience, with which I must constantly treat all people who are the children of God, crying: Our Father, who is in heaven? Where is the fatherly spirit with which I must deal with people who call me father and father, for I have been appointed a shepherd, a teacher, a father for them, may I carry in my chest unfeigned love for everyone, may I never extinguish this sacred fire in myself, may I be vigilant over the verbal flock of Christ, redeemed by His Blood, may I teach him day and night, may I endure everything for his sake, as I endured everything for my sake and for our sake, man, Christ God, even death itself, and the death of the cross! Forgive me, O my Lord, my Savior, my sin and give me grace with joy, with willingness, with the readiness to always give alms to the poor, to Your people, remembering your great sinful poverty, from which You saved and are saving me with Your free poverty and instead of which You have given and are bestowing a wealth of spiritual blessings and have prepared blessings that the eye has not seen, the ear has not heard, and not came... into the heart of man [1 Cor. 2, 9]. Take away from my heart malice, zeal, envy, pride, covetousness, voluptuousness and all passion, and in the image make and show me perfect destinies and save me, Thy unworthy servant. Grant me to continually delve into Your words and do Your commandments! All things are possible to him who believes [Mk. 9, 23], - which means it is also possible to serve without stumbling. Be for the glory of God! May I not be bound by worldly lusts and passions. I thank Thee, O most merciful Lord, for You correct the evil aspirations of my heart and have mercy on me, the accursed one. So, when I left home for St. Petersburg with my wife in a cab to the steamer, I was overcome by devilish anger towards my wife, because she sat down with me and that I was not entirely comfortable, and I could not cheerfully look at her all the way to the Cossack parade ground: such a terrible pretext of anger happened to me! How cramped! What humiliation! Only through diligent and unceasing inner prayer did anger leave me. There is no need to undead the flesh with sweets, soft heads, clothes, etc. The chains on it are iron, heavy! Crucify her! This is wisdom! Theater and Church. A man cannot serve two masters, for either he will hate one, and to love the other; or he will be zealous for one and neglectful of the other [Matt. 6, 24]. This goes for all earthly attachments. Develop. Lutheranism and Reformation are a branch cut off from the good olive tree. What happens to a branch cut off from a living tree? - It dries up and disappears. There is a member torn from a living body. What happens to such a member? - He dies because he does not use the vitality of the body. I am a cherub with a flaming sword, guarding the path of the tree of life - the Most Pure Body and Blood of Christ. I will not allow a Lutheran, or a Catholic, or a Reformed person to eat the fruit of this tree until he rejects the errors and incorrectness of his religion. The tares 47 try to imitate the wheat, and Luther thinks of teaching the Eucharist, but Luther does not have the Eucharist. For where is the succession of the ordination of a priest, to whom alone is given grace, the gift and the power to perform this heavenly Sacrament? May the Orthodox adhere to their Church, their teachers, may they participate in divine services, may they receive the Sacraments with zeal and reverence, may they fulfill the commandments of Christ, may they be zealous for meekness, humility, unforgettable malice, mercy, chastity, and abstinence. Through love and addiction to earthly things (for example, shiny clothes, sweets, money, etc.), our hearts fall away from Divine love. But are not all things dust, even though they are shiny, all treasures, all sweets, all money and all things in general? You like brilliance, radiance - love it in God, the Source and Origin of all light; you like sweets - I advise you to look for them in God, Who is infinite Sweetness throughout the infinity of centuries; you like earthly treasures, but they are perishable - I advise you to acquire God in your heart, Who is an imperishable treasure. You like the beauty of faces and clothes, but beautiful faces and beautiful clothes are perishable - I advise you to imagine and love the ineffable kindness, or beauty of the face of God and to seek the beautiful and imperishable robe in Christ. This robe surpasses all earthly clothing in its imperishable beauty, incorruptible light, and the kindness of the face of Christ surpasses all earthly beauty, which is perishable and soon darkens. Love for things, or carnal love, is adulterous, idolatrous love, which makes us alien to God and deprives us of the life of God, the world of God, holiness, light, strength, freedom. If during worship you are embarrassed at the sight of a multitude of people or the rich and powerful of the world, then you yourself are also carnal, and you look at others with carnal eyes. Are not all people similar to you, do not everyone have the same soul, do not they all have the same spiritual needs, are not everyone under the rule of the one King of all, God? Who are you? – You are a servant of the living, infinite, omnipotent God, His mouth, as if His friend. You are My friends, the Lord said to the apostles [John. 15, 14]. Look upon this multitude of people as upon a multitude of water. Does the water thrill you when you are standing on the shore or on a safe boat? No. So it is here. The people are before you, and you stand or should stand on a solid foundation - the God of all. To work for earthly goods means to lean on a needle or to take thorns with your hands: they break and butt, they hurt the soul and body - it means to bind your free spirit, that is, created free, to darken your light - and what is more valuable than the freedom of the spirit, the spiritual light? This means depriving yourself of peace - and what is more desirable than peace? Grant, Lord, to me and to all Your people, with all my thoughts, with all my heart, throughout my entire life, to strive towards You, the first principle of all, the source of living water. Grant to everyone to recognize the falsity of their present paths and deviate from the evil paths to the path of truth and eternal life; let everyone know the flattery of sin and its destruction. God! Inwardly, You shepherd me, You manifest in me, in the depths of my soul, Your power, Your power and Your glory, and in all, as in other people You manifest Your Kingdom, King of all, King of all ages! Glory to You, Good Shepherd, glory to You, Almighty King! Free yourself from the power of the senses, especially sight, taste, touch, for through them the deceiving devil especially tempts the human race, as we see, we experience this ourselves. What we don’t do for the sake of ourselves and others, how many commandments of God we violate! And while working with the taste or the belly, the sense of touch, what essential duties are we neglecting! Beware of sin every minute: you don’t know where it will catch you at your slightest carelessness; see that he would not sneak up from the side of a woman’s face and would not hurt you with carnal love and impose these charming bonds on himself. But, wounded by carnal love, you will become an enemy of God and fall away from God and His life and will be deprived of peace of heart and spiritual freedom. May 19. Trinity day. I thank You, Most Holy Lady, for You have now granted me the grace during the Liturgy to pronounce the names of the royal house, for which I prayed to You standing at Your image, just before leaving. I cried out to You: as you have an invincible power, free me from all troubles; and I also begged the Lord God, saying: I place my weak and wavering heart in Your strength, Lord: what is impossible for me is possible for You, create power with Your servant. Seek grace, brothers: with grace is true life, light, peace in the soul, true freedom, with its help it is convenient to endure sorrows and hardships, you can overcome all passions; she is the cleansing of sins, she makes us capable of every good deed, she makes us dear and desirable to God and people. Ask, seek grace, my brothers. Without grace there is no true life. With what thoughts and feelings do you look, brethren, at the image of the Mother of God holding the Eternal Child in her Most Pure hands? Look with these thoughts: through the incarnation of the Most Holy Virgin, God united with people and deified us, granted us resurrection and immortal life. Having exalted our nature immeasurably, He, the Lord our God, wants us to live worthy of our Christian calling, in all piety and purity, and to philosophize on things above and not on earth. Oh, who can look at the icon of the Mother of God with the Child of God without tears of tenderness, imagining such extreme condescension for us by the Divine! If you notice with your inner eye and feel with your heart that the unclean fire of carnal passion, or malice, envy, or love of money begins to spread in your flesh, then know that an enemy has attacked you and you need to immediately put on spiritual armor or, immediately seclude yourself, stand in prayer and sincerely pray to God for salvation from the storm of passions. Looking at the cross and Him Crucified on it, think what my suffering (eternal) should have been and what my death (eternal) should have been if the Son of God incarnate had not suffered and died for me! If the truth of God thus punished His beloved Son for me, flattery would not be found in Him [1 Pet. 2, 22], then how would I be punished, having immeasurably angered His holiness, truth and goodness with countless sins? Oh, with love, fear and gratitude, let us always kiss, brethren, the cross of the Lord and the Lord of Glory crucified on it! The holy people of God, having set themselves the goal of life to save the soul, purify the heart, put off the old man and put on the new, worked incessantly, tirelessly, achieving this goal, not in vain - back into the world, and with the help of God's grace they received what they wanted. Why do we always remain with the same sins or add new ones? Because we have not accepted the decisive intention to forsake sins, purify our hearts, crucify the flesh with its passions and lusts, cast off the old, put on the new man, we want to work both for the world and for God. When during worship we feel in our hearts confusion and fear, doubt in the pronunciation of sacred words, powerlessness, opposition, let us know that this is the action of the spirit of malice, which is trying to overthrow all worship, to instill disrespect for the entire service of the Lord in general, and in particular for some of the Sacraments, for prayers, for expressions, for names. It is necessary to pronounce with special force those prayers, words or names that the adversary prevents from pronouncing and to which he inspires distrust, disrespect, neglect, embarrassment, fear, apprehension, doubt - to overcome with the grace of God. Since the enemy cannot directly overthrow worship, he uses a cunning worthy of himself: he organizes theaters, clubs and other entertainment establishments, establishes his priests - actors and priestesses - actresses, and other similar persons, lures his inexperienced people into these churches and thus distracts many from the church, for one only needs to go to the theater a few times on a hunt to then feel attracted to it and aversion from the church. For the enemy is trying by all means to bind his lovers to his church. He who has ears to hear, let him hear! [Matt. 11, 15]. In opposition to the word of God, the enemy tries to spread his word - pernicious books, of which there are especially many in the current enlightened age; In general, we see that the villain wants to imitate God in everything, only in the opposite direction. Both during worship and throughout life, good reflection and self-activity of the soul are necessary, and not blind submission to the order or disorder of current affairs, customs, habits: otherwise we will never achieve perfection in worship, in life, in everyday affairs. Meditation is especially necessary in such an important matter as prayer or reading the word of God. Everything should be reasonable with us. Such important words as the words of prayers must be pronounced with importance, with weight, with feeling, without haste, not frivolously; Of course, for this you need to have an important mood of spirit and put aside earthly thoughts and desires. We must fight laziness every day, especially laziness towards prayer, towards reading the word of God, towards composing soul-saving works, and in general towards salvation. This passion haunts us every day, and with particular importunity. We must do it continuously. It is worthy and truthful to joyfully magnify Thee, the Mother of God, by whom we are adored and honored with countless blessings, who prays for us day and night. Try in every possible way at all times to preserve the quietness and meekness of Christ in your soul, especially when you notice disorder and omissions made by others, for then we are especially indignant, angry, and torn in our hearts. Place spiritual peace above all else, as a priceless gift of God, according to what is written: Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you [John. 14, 27]. We are most indignant and irritated when there are disturbances and omissions made by well-known persons in business, in things, in time (when someone did not arrive on time). But does rage correct disorder? - Not at all. Sometimes it even increases; on the contrary, meekness, quietness and tranquility are sometimes corrected or, at least, reduced, and in any case, order is maintained in the soul, peace of mind is preserved, and this is already a great thing. Oh, because of what empty reasons and things we often lose peace, we violate the Lord’s commandment about meekness and humility, becoming angry at our neighbors! And we don’t fix the matter, and we upset ourselves. This is how our enemy mocks us, that is, the devil! God! enlighten the eyes of our hearts and teach us to always remain meek and calm! What he was afraid of happened, what he convinced himself to do, he did not fulfill: during the all-night vigil, he was furious with the watchman for opening the window in the altar, despite my order not to open it, and a strong wind blew a lot of dust into the altar, so that my teeth crunched. The evil demon outraged me so much that I could not calmly serve the all-night vigil, I stumbled several times and missed words. Was it the dust that made me angry? What harm can dust cause? Almost none. However, a strong demonic storm befell me: it was difficult to stand and be peaceful: I fell to the throne several times, asking for mercy and help. First I was indignant at the sight of Father Matthew (stupid of me), then at the sight of a drunken watchman (God be with him - you can’t fix anything) and at the feeling of strong dust in the altar. I sinned: I did not remain meek! Why is my heart so easily agitated? Probably because he slept a lot during the day and had a big lunch. Abstinence from sleep and food and sobriety in prayer are necessary. What urgently needs to be done in Russia? – Limit the sale of vodka (a known measure for certain numbers) and prohibit its sale on Sundays and holidays for the common people. It is necessary to prohibit with strict punishment in case of violation of the prohibition. If we, educated people, are often like babies regarding food and drink, sometimes we eat and drink our favorite foods and drinks to excess, so that we need to be stopped so as not to harm ourselves, then what can we say about uneducated, rude people? Like flies for honey and sweets, so they are greedy for wine, and just as flies often find death in sweets, so do the common people in wine. This comparison is absolutely correct. And how many people die from wine! How many people cripple themselves morally and physically with wine! How many have become victims of the eternal fire of hell due to drunkenness! The Emperor needs to pay special attention to this evil. Otherwise, he will answer for inattention at the Last Judgment before the King of Kings and will not escape strict condemnation for careless shepherding. The body, as a temporary, organic clothing of the soul, is perishable and does not constitute the direct life of a person: true life is spiritual life. Tear and destroy a person's clothes - he himself will remain alive; So after killing, after death, the incorruption of the body, the soul remains alive. Yes, we put the greatest care for the soul, for its salvation. I thank the Lord, the Physician of my soul, who healed me twice before the very beginning of the liturgy, when sin wounded me and confused my wounded heart. I fell with heartfelt prayer to His throne, first in the Peter’s chapel, and then in the main church, and the Most Merciful One soon had mercy on me - like nothing, in an instant he took away my fierce sorrow and oppression. Glory to the terrible and life-giving throne of God! Glory to our Savior and Judge who sits on the throne, who searches our hearts and wombs and rewards everyone according to their deeds. I thank the Lord, who allowed me to perform the liturgy and prayer services in church without stumbling on the day of the Vladimir Icon of the Most Holy Theotokos, May 21, and to partake of the Life-Giving Mysteries without condemnation! I thank the Lord, who saved me in the apartment of Father Archpriest Joseph Belkin after the temptation brought upon me by the enemy because of Deacon Peter Alekseevich Safronov. When you light a candle in front of the icon of the Mother of God, say: Mother of Light, enlighten my soul, overcome the darkness of sin, extinguish the flame of passions in me, save me from the flames of hell. What is it: to sing to Thee in a heartfelt confession? 49 This means that when you pray, pray sincerely, heartily; when you read psalms or other sacred prayers and chants, or sing, read and sing heartily. To those who are cold and unkind to you, be kind and friendly, for this is the law of Christ, to overcome evil with good and not to repay evil for evil [Rom. 12, 17, 21]. Anyone who is angry with you for no reason and does not want to talk to you, try to talk to him yourself. May 22. Wednesday. Trinity week. After Vespers, he celebrated two weddings calmly, without skipping a beat, strengthened by Divine grace. I prayed to the Lord about this and, having completed a successful marriage, thanked my All-Merciful Savior for the gift of a stumbling-free wedding. I thank the Lord, who gave me the grace to treat His little friends Seraphim, Alexander, Vera and Evgenia: I gave them sweet tea and fed them Vyborg pretzel. I asked the Lord for a gift - and gave it. I can’t do anything without the Lord, not even treat the children properly, not to mention others. I will not exchange You, Lord, Your Life-giving Mysteries for any spring, for any summer: You are my most life-giving spring, Lord, and Your Life-giving Mysteries Secrets; You are my most joyful, brightest, warmest and most fruitful summer, Lord Jesus, and Your Life-giving Mysteries. Everyone goes to their dachas - in the shade of gardens, but for me You are the Life-giving and blooming and most fragrant garden and Your Life-giving Mysteries. Hey, amen. Your church is the best garden for me. This is my Edem 50 - why not everyone? At every time and in every place, when and where we meet with our neighbors, co-workers, poor relatives living on our support and in the same house with us, or with the poor who ask us for alms every day, the devil intensifies to arouse anger in our hearts against them - but we must strengthen ourselves with all our thoughts, with all our hearts in love for them, as our Lord commanded us [Matt. 22, 37 – 39 ], and not to lose the Kingdom of God within us because of sweets and money. Lutherans! Why do you look directly at portraits and honor them, but cannot look directly at the icons of the Lord God, His Most Pure Mother and His Saints, but cast your eyes down to the ground during prayer? And when we meet the rich, the noble, the learned, the leaders, we flatter, servile, please them, and fear them cowardly. Oh, how everything is perverted in our hostel! May 25, 1868 Finding the Head of the Forerunner. Saturday before All Saints Sunday. I celebrated the Liturgy today calmly, firmly, and took communion into the world of spiritual forces and into the revitalization of my entire being. Now completely healthy. In the morning I woke up lifeless. Heartfelt praise drove away the disease. Sinned against the Lord: he became furious and shouted angrily at the beggar boy, who, upon receiving [a nickel] from me, began to ask me for something. So I again violated the commandment of my Savior about meekness and humility and kindness, and suddenly I committed several sins: pride, malice, love of money! He despised one from the little ones, whose angels in heaven always see the face of the Heavenly Father [Matt. 18, 10]. About Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God, it is said: He will not contradict, He will not cry, and no one will hear His (wrathful) voice in the streets [glorified: on the crossroads] [Matt. 12, 19]. And I reproached the beggar, and cried out to him in anger and rage, and my strong and angry voice was heard at the crossroads. I have sinned against the Lord! I ask You for mercy, my Creator, Righteous Judge, rich Giver of all good things! Forgive me my unbelief or lack of faith, my anger, pride, covetousness, envy, carnality. Xie. You have seen, O Lord, both my sin and my repentance! For He who is most merciful, have mercy: He has repaid this beggar in fourfold, for he is truly poor. Grant me, Lord, to love You in Your members, in Your body, that is, the Church, and not to be upset with anyone, not to be irritated, not to be embittered, but to be quiet, kind to everyone, even if someone offends or deceives, deceives, acts contrary to my wishes, or is faulty or sinful. You are long-suffering towards me, you are immeasurably lenient - grant me to be long-suffering and forbearing, forgiving and merciful. It is a good thing, a gift from God, to be worthy to call upon the Lord early and glorify Him in His church or at home. Where there is constant prayer, glorification and, especially, the sacred rites of the Body and Blood of Christ, Baptism, Confirmation - there the air is holy and life-giving. Who will I envy? I have been given so much infinitely from the Lord. He gave Himself to me, and with Him everything, the whole sky, endless life, eternal bliss. Who and what will I envy? I am rich in my Lord. Not only do I have a belly, but I also have more than 51 imams in the Lord [Jn. 10, 10]. May I not spare His material gifts for His poor people, but give them willingly to those who need them, for, by the mercy and unspoken generosity of God, the hand of the giver will not become scarce. If the Lord gave me life, and in abundance, then duty requires that I give the poor alms or what they need for life in abundance, according to my means. Along with physical alms, spiritual alms must also be taught abundantly: to teach the ignorant, to admonish sinners and turn them to the path of salvation, to console the sad, to give good advice, to pray for others to God, to forgive insults, and not to repay evil. How many times has the Lord admonished me not to be angry, not to shout at the beggars (cry), but to willingly give what is required to those who are truly in need, and I have not yet learned this lesson - I am angry at the beggars (for several years they have been approaching me almost every day) and do not give what is required! What should I myself expect from the Lord? For He is generous to me, but I am stingy; He is good, and I am evil; He is meek, and I am brutal. I know well that the truly poor ask me, they ask for what they need, and yet I do not give as much as they ask, although they ask for very little. I am a madman and a scoundrel, a cursed one, and because of my meanness and madness I must sit and write lessons for myself, and repent of the same insane actions, spin around like a squirrel in a wheel, and not take a single step forward. When will I show self-correction? When will I be smarter? How long will I be partial to dust - to these lumps of earth called money? To these sweets, to these clothes and other things that... decay from consumption [Col. 2, 22 ]? How long will the image of God, that is, man, be reproached and neglected? How long will the Lord not be loved and honored in His members, in His images? We do not notice, darkened by our passions, that the Lord measures us with the same measure with which we measure to others [Matt. 7, 2; Mk. 4, 24; OK. 6, 38]: if we do not want to hear the poor asking for alms, and He will not hear us; if we give meagerly and reluctantly, and He reduces His gifts or introduces them into a defect, to the detriment; if, on the contrary, we listen complacently to the requests of the poor and satisfy them, and He will favorably and quickly listen to and fulfill our prayers; if we give willingly and generously, He will gladly and quickly reward us. Oh, truly, the Lord measures both our truths and untruths a thousandfold! This is what every experience says, except the word of God! Let us be afraid to deceive ourselves in the Kingdom of God, among His people, so that we may walk rightly in all His commandments. Whatever you want people to do to you, do so to them, for this is the law and the prophets [Matt. 7, 12 ]! From what a deep ulcer, from what a deadly disease, from what a murderous breath of sin did the Heavenly Physician, the Lord Jesus Christ, come to save us! Who will fully comprehend this? - Nobody. Only partially, from our own experience, some of us see the depth of the abyss into which we have fallen through sin, all the powerlessness for good, all the power and abyss of evil, or sin, nesting in our heart. But this too allows us to see the grace of God, enlightening our darkened hearts. A person does not see this with his natural mind and therefore cannot see and feel all the need for correction and have the strength for this correction and renewal. Sins should therefore be especially vile to us and worthy of all disgust, because through them the priceless image of God is corrupted, disfigured, darkened in us and we become like the devil, the image of the devil is made in us, from the children of God we become the children of the devil, according to Scripture: the birth of vipers, children of the devil [Matt. 3, 7; In. 8, 44; 1John 3, 10], - these are the sins: pride, hatred, envy, stinginess, covetousness, lies, disobedience, fornication, etc.; through them we become like the first proud and malicious, and the miser and adversary, and the liar and the unclean - the devil. Let us preserve the image of God within ourselves whole through virtue, but we are afraid to corrupt it and from the image of God become the image of the devil, from the heir of the Kingdom of God to heirs of total darkness. I thank the Lord, strong in mercy and good in His strength, for the speedy and great mercy, for the healing of deep heart wounds caused by sin. What prolonged prayer at home could not do, one touch on the life-giving, glorious and terrible throne of God in the church of the holy chief apostles Peter and Paul did: the ulcer of the heart, confusion, sorrow and oppression suddenly disappeared, as if a great mountain had fallen from my heart, and I became peaceful, there was lightness and spaciousness and boldness in my heart. Wonderful are Your works, O Lord! Marvelous are You, Who sits on the throne of Your Glory in Christian churches, O Lord, Most Righteous Judge and Most-Merciful Savior and Almighty! Glory to Your invincible goodness, glory to Your innumerable power, King of the ages! What makes these poor people poor? – Our pride: we do not care about them - covetousness is sweeter; We don’t want to cover their nakedness, we spare a few kopecks to give them bread. With the real progress of the Slavic issue, the Russian Government, especially the Ministry of Education and the clergy, must pay attention to the study of the Slavic language in Russian educational institutions, otherwise, it’s a shame to say that many, many do not understand the Slavic church language, many do not know how to read. What kind of Slavs are these? What kind of sons of the Orthodox Church are they? It is necessary to read the Gospel, psalms, the word of God in general, as well as prayers or sing stichera, canons, troparia with deep heart truth, with heart understanding, putting oneself in the place of the person who uttered the spoken words. How do we read and sing very often? With a deceitful heart and tongue, without heartfelt understanding and feeling, like a drum. Oh, if we always read as we should, with feeling and sense, and sang heartily and harmoniously - how many would feel the sweetness and life-giving quality of our worship, how many sighs and tears of tenderness we would extract from those present, how many souls would turn to God! But now the effect of divine services on the soul is often lost because of our negligence, because of heartlessness, lethargy during the performance of divine services! How ugly, how miserable the life of the drunkard and his family is! How ugly is the life of a vicious person in general! But this ugliness and misfortune is God’s righteous punishment for him in this life and an admonition to other people that following their bestial lusts and not living like a human being, philosophizing and acting to please God, the Source of our life, is the greatest evil, a perversion of nature, reducing oneself to the ranks of dumb animals. But God is not mocked [Gal. 6, 7]. If anyone corrupts God's church, God will corrupt him [1 Cor. 3, 17]. Drunkards and fornicators will not inherit the Kingdom of God [1 Cor. 6, 9–10]. Our Christian business is to humble ourselves, to acknowledge without false shame all our vile deeds and to sincerely repent of all our iniquities, and not to deceive ourselves, not to hide our spiritual ulcers and impurities out of some absurd pride and pride; just as the former inclines God’s mercy towards us and brings down the life-giving dew of God’s grace into our hearts, so the latter arouses the wrath of God, makes us alien to saving grace and covers our soul with bitter darkness, the forerunner of total darkness. My constant appeal is to my Savior: in Him I am cleansed from sinful defilements, in Him I am sanctified, in Him I receive spiritual freedom, peace, joy, boldness, strength, spiritual light, healing of my infirmities. He is the abyss of mercy in which I am completely immersed, as in air or water. Break sinful infants against the stone - Christ - immediately [Ps. 136, 9]. Call earnestly on Christ the Savior when sin is in its infancy, and beg for salvation. I thank You, Lord, for You saved me, who called on You when anger invaded my heart against my sister Anna. The life of the people, both ordinary, scientific, and military, reaches extreme disgrace. The common people drink, curse, and are ignorant of the faith; scientist, military man, merchants do not believe, do not go to church, neglect the Sacraments of faith, play cards, are devoted to self-interest. Brethren! Among the creatures created by God, there are temporary and transitory, which are all irrational, animate and inanimate, organic and inorganic creatures, and even the world itself, which is about to pass away: the image of this world passes away [1 Cor. 7, 31], - and there are eternal, imperishable ones, such as: Angels and human souls, the demons themselves with their Satan. For a person, earthly life in the body serves only as preparation for eternal life, which begins after the death of the body. Therefore, we must urgently use this life to prepare for the future and, working on weekdays more for earthly life, on Sundays and holidays we must work entirely for the Lord God, devoting them to worship, reading the word of God, contemplation of God, soul-saving conversations, good deeds, especially mercy. He sins gravely who neglects the matter of his spiritual education for eternal life in the heavenly world. How can you forget your last appointment? How can one be so ungrateful before the Creator, who created us in His image and likeness into incorruption and for union with Himself and who redeemed us with His Cross and opened the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven for us! How can many of us become like foolish cattle and become like them [Ps. 48, 13 ]? Woe are our hearts! Thank God that the gifts of God’s goodness go not to me, a sinner, but to others, for because of my sins I am unworthy of even a stream of clean air. And our pride would put everything on ourselves, on food, drink, expensive clothes, decoration of rooms, on the purchase of various expensive things, on dishes, on carriages, etc. Explain the accessories of the church and all the services, especially the liturgy and what it represents. We say daily in the morning prayer to the Mother of God: drive away from me oblivion, foolishness, negligence, etc., and we must put aside the foolishness of spiritual things by trying to understand, if possible, as far as is accessible to our mind and heart, what we read and sing at home and in church, in general, everything that happens in church, for just as from unreason we walk in darkness and are mistaken and work with various passions, so from We are enlightened, imbued with holy feelings, we repent, we are cleansed, we are corrected. Therefore, we must understand the divine service, reading and singing, and the rituals and objects of each service, understand the Gospel, the Apostle, the Psalter and other church books. Why resist God by envying your fellow man to whom God sends wealth? And how are you so unreasonable until now, considering for something the great abundance of money, which is the cause of the destruction of the human soul, petrifies and corrupts the heart, tearing it away from God? And do you really have enough for a temporary life? Don’t you have food, drink, clothing in abundance, don’t you have a good home? Don’t you even have an abundance of helping your poor relatives and other poor, and shouldn’t you thank the Lord for this with all your heart and carefully fulfill His commandments and not combine with His enemy - the devil, who teaches us to fulfill his devilish whims, such as: envying our neighbors, harboring hatred for them, clinging to earthly things, and not thinking about our heavenly destiny and eternal life, putting your hope in wealth - in a lot of money, and not in God, who gives everything. But let’s assume that you are poor, especially don’t envy. Jesus Christ did not have where to bow his head [Matt. 8, 20], the apostles were almost all from poor people, many of the saints deliberately left for Christ and for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, they sold their property and gave it to the poor in order to acquire property that abides, eternal in heaven, so as not to be bound by the bonds of worries and addictions that are inevitable with earthly wealth. Place your trust in God, who nourishes every creature, and work with all your heart for Him, your Creator. You are a Christian, that is, a citizen of the heavenly Kingdom, you are a wanderer and alien on earth. Heavenly blessings are in store for you, imperishable, surpassing every mind, every description, every word. How are you so senseless that you value these perishable, insignificant earthly goods and attach your heart to them, which should cleave to the one God? Why do you exchange these illusory, ephemeral benefits for true and lasting ones? Look how crazy you are. Cast your sorrow upon the Lord, and He will nourish you [Ps. 54, 23]. Seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things, that is, earthly blessings, will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33]. How to seek the Kingdom of God? Cleanse yourself from all sin, from all passion, from pride, envy, enmity, covetousness, fornication, intemperance and delicacy, from hypocrisy, wickedness, partiality, hard-heartedness and unmercifulness, self-will and stubbornness. Be constantly meek, humble about yourself, respectful and friendly, benevolent, helpful, truthful and impartial, peace-loving, be wise above, not below; be content with little, have no satiety in the Divine, love your enemies and pray for them, deny yourself, endure insults, but do not offend yourself; be restrained in everything: in thoughts, in wishes, in words, in food, drink, clothing, be merciful and compassionate - and God will dwell in you and reign in you for your good and bliss. Don't you notice how, through addiction to temporary goods, through envy, enmity, gluttony, delicacy, fornication and other passions, the human enemy establishes his deadly, deceitful, vile dominion in us? So, do not envy any of the lucky ones on earth. Look at the saints, how did they look at earthly happiness? Isn't it like a stumbling block? Isn’t it like bonds and shackles? Wasn't wealth given to the poor? Didn’t they leave worldly honors, luxurious clothes, magnificent palaces and poverty for the sake of God as a safe thing? - Yes, because the networks of the enemy are spread over all earthly goods. Read the story of the temptation of the Savior in the desert [Matt. 4, 1 – 11; OK. 4, 1 – 13]. Blessed is he who desires heavenly things, for he will be forever with God, Who loves souls who philosophize on heaven. Remember, Christian, that the enemy of God and men, the devil, is constantly raging on earth and waging war against God’s heritage, that we are warriors and must constantly fight the passions (which are his bitter and deadly seed, or tares), namely, addiction to earthly goods, envy, stinginess, covetousness, pride, etc. passions. We must skillfully deal with those people who live with us, to whom we are accustomed and with whom we have unpleasant clashes and hostile relations, for the feeling of coldness and enmity is renewed in us every time they show us even the slightest form of dislike or even partially resist us. We must eradicate from the heart every feeling of enmity, forgive everything for the sake of Christ, who forgives us all our sins, and lovingly treat everyone, even ill-wishers and enemies, according to the word of the Lord: love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you [Matt. 5, 44]. We must skillfully, I say, deal with these people, because in this case we must be a doctor of ourselves and them, for we all suffer spiritually from pride, malice, envy and other diseases of the spirit. We especially need to heal ourselves from pride, which prevents us from speaking to those who have offended us or contradicted us, or generally caused us displeasure in some way. Humility, kindness, and dispassion for earthly things must be deeply instilled in the heart. A person who is hostile to us is very often ready to reconcile with us, if only we would speak to him peacefully, but we ourselves, out of the pride and malice of our hearts, again provoke him to hostility, having said a kind word and an unkind one, or wounded him again with a word of reproach. You must control yourself, your heart, and force yourself to act and speak, in any case, according to one good principle, completely rejecting duality, that is, acting either according to a good or evil principle. We must completely hate and reject all evil in ourselves, and respect others and, respecting them, pity them if we notice evil in them, and, hating all evil, do not hate those possessed by malice, as those blinded and struck by evil power, as captives of Satan. I thank You, Lord, who saves me from spiritual captivity and leads me to spiritual freedom. Anger manifests itself in different ways, under different plausible pretexts. For example, if we eat lenten food during Lent and insist that our household eat the same food, while they eat fast food, then malice, together with envy and stinginess, are strongly awakened and act fieryly in us under the pretext of zeal in observing the fast, about pleasing God and saving the soul. But it is precisely malice, envy and stinginess that breaks the fast, for one must fast first of all from spiritual passions, and then from bodily desires and whims, or at least one must fast both physically and spiritually. If I eat fast food and do not restrain myself from anger, and do not practice meekness, then I am worse than anyone who eats fast food but does not have anger. Or - it is better to eat modest foods during Lent than to harbor anger, caress ambition, harbor envy or stinginess in the heart, etc. Where there is voluptuousness and covetousness and absent-mindedness, there the devil has reached out with his paw and stretched out his tail; where there is fornication with evil thoughts, there the devil has latched onto the heart and flesh of the accursed fornicator; where there is pride and malice, envy, disobedience, there the devil reigns and in the heart of the sinner he has set his throne and has him as a humble slave. Let us beware, brethren, of all sin, as the devil himself, his chief, and let us strive diligently to virtue. Through the sins of prodigal impurity, sincere respect for a person falls, true love for him is eradicated to the ground, unless we sincerely turn and repent and receive from God again the grace of true love. Love for people is especially overthrown through the sins of Sodom. Many hellish torments will have to be endured by those who fornicate and those who are inflamed with lust for each other; the spirit of prodigalness and the spirit of malice will often oppress them to the extreme, to death; but blessed are they if they endure these torments, for through these fiery, hellish sorrows the spirit is cleansed and humbled, and prodigal impurities dry up. In general, one should consider grief, like cauterization and cutting off, to be a great spiritual benefit. What God gives, thank Him for, and what He does not give, even if it seemed that the giving was in your hands, but was admired by others, do not covet or torture 52 from the one who took it, and be at peace, saying: be the will of the Lord (regarding the giving of prayer by Father Matthew to the mother in labor - my spiritual daughter Turkina, when I was at home). This is where we show [our] faith in the Lord and obedience to His commandments. Where does this scorching and goring thirst for earthly goods come from in us, which runs counter to our heavenly purpose? Why don’t we thirst for heavenly blessings? Why is there immoderation in the use of earthly gifts, for example, in food, drink, clothing, when moderation is not harmful and beneficial, but immoderation is harmful to both soul and body? For example, eating and drinking in moderation is healthy, but overeating and drunkenness are harmful [...] Luxury in clothing is harmful to the soul and to our neighbors, because through luxury we take away the basic needs of our neighbors. From the heart come evil thoughts, adultery, fornication, covetousness, blasphemy, etc. [Matt. 15, 19; Mk. 7, 21], - these are the ever-present illnesses of our spirit. Why don't we eradicate them? How blessed would we be if we lived according to the commandments of the Gospel, according to the will of our Lord and Savior? Let us pay careful attention to our inner life every day. On the day of the supreme apostles Peter and Paul, say a word about what the apostles teach us: not to crave earthly goods - they pass away, to strive for the Heavenly Kingdom (earthly goods - smoke, sleep, steam). If God became incarnate and took on our entire nature, soul and body, then for the sake of this greatest sacrament of the communion of the Lord with our flesh and blood, we must cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, creating holiness in the fear of God [2 Cor. 7, 1]. Do not despair, repentant sinner, for this is the grace of the coming of Christ, His incarnation, teaching, suffering, death, burial and resurrection, to have mercy on us who repent, to cleanse us, defiled by all sins, to save us from despondency and despair, to instill in us the spirit of hope, boldness, love, to sanctify us, to renew us, to constantly help (maybe help those who are tempted [Heb. 2:18]), intercede, have mercy and save. So, do not be discouraged and do not despair, repentant sinner. In Christ all the treasures of God’s mercy are open to you, all the fatherly bounties of His goodness, wisdom, and power. If God is for us, who can be against us? [Rom. 8, 31]. Try to be present at the liturgy more often and reflect on what is happening in it. It expressed all the richness of Divine love for sinners, for the world. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life [Jn. 3, 16]. We are not corrected because we all stare at the sins of others and want to put everyone in our own way, that is, force them to live the way we would like, forgetting that everyone is free and God Himself does not deprive anyone of this precious gift, does not force anyone to live according to His commandments, but only pleases those who fulfill them, depicting the good consequences of fulfillment - possession of the Kingdom, consolation, inheritance of the earth, saturation of righteousness, pardon, sight of God, sonship, a great reward in heaven [Matt. 5, 3 – 12] - and the bitter consequences of non-fulfillment - grief, sorrow and distress, fiery Gehenna, eternal torment. So, let’s give up the empty labor of looking at other people’s sins or inventing non-existent ones, and let’s get down to correcting ourselves, treating our mental illnesses: pride, conceit, self-indulgence, willfulness and stubbornness, arrogance, disrespect for the dignity and rights of people like us, vanity and vanity, ambition, envy, malice, gluttony, greed and satiety, lust, negligence and laziness, oblivion, despondency and worldly sadness, insolence, rudeness in treatment, murmuring and blasphemy against God, despair, absent-mindedness and associated sins - drunkenness, theater, gambling, gossip, ridicule, laziness to listen to oneself, to delve deeper into self-knowledge, thirst for free wealth, deception, lies, hypocrisy of the Pharisees, or external, apparent piety, partiality, or partiality to person, false shame, vain fear or vain servility, cowardly reticence of the truth, impatience, dissatisfaction, passion and enmity, idle talk, blasphemy, godlessness, frivolity and inconstancy, intransigence, bickering, and other sins. Are we really going to leave so much of God’s care for us? Which? – God sent His Only Begotten Son to earth, gave the Gospel, the Sacraments, the guidance of Angels, the shepherds of the Church and the Holy Church, etc.? Does smoking tobacco belong to the category of food or drink? – If it is neither one nor the other, then why did man invent such an unreasonable action for himself, why did he invent this new lust, this artificial thirst, harmful in many respects: in relation to the body, moral and economic? In the body - because it stinks the breath, naturally irritates the nerves, somewhat stupefies, and from excessive use it plunges many into illness and exposes them to premature death; in the moral - because it multiplies whims, strengthens pride, deprives the poor of alms, daily bread and clothing; in economic terms - because it requires significant expenditure on the purchase of tobacco and its accessories. Isn’t the grace of God thinner than smoke, and if we greedily inhale tobacco smoke, won’t it move away from this coarse, carnal pleasure, from this whim, and on the other hand, won’t it enter our heart in a secret way, like a thief, that thief who teaches us all the lusts and whims and drives our true desires out of our hearts? And, firstly, doesn’t smoking drive away the spirit of heartfelt prayer, and doesn’t it lead many to the habit of not praying at all? For many, instead of praying, getting up from sleep, take up tobacco, a cigarette, a cigar, a pipe, and after that, is it time to pray? [Here] smoking turns out to be, as it were, smoking out the spirit of grace living in us. In the evening it’s the same: they’ll be filled with tobacco smoke - and after such pleasure, will they be able to pray, and if they pray, will the prayer be fiery, when their insides are filled with this stench? The grace of God is subtle and sensitive, and it moves away from all the whims and lusts of the flesh. I know many smokers who almost voluntarily do not pray at home, but only in church, where the congregation of worshipers involuntarily, so to speak, forces them to pray. Just as a drunkard gets used to not praying, so does a tobacco smoker, because smoking in its effect is similar to drunkenness, since it stupefies and intoxicates the smoker; Just as a drunkard does not know satiety in wine, so does a smoker not know satiety in tobacco. We are all driven by earthly, carnal desires and whims, we are all blind and rarely, rarely driven by heavenly desires, although we have a heavenly destiny, and therefore we are proud (of earthly advantages: worldly education, worldly distinctions, beauty, family, wealth, success, etc.), we quarrel - again because of earthly things, but even more - we envy when others have more, and we have less; We are stingy, we indulge in greed, intemperance, love of money, prodigal uncleanness, and almost all sins come from addiction to earthly things. If we were led by heavenly thoughts and desires, these and other passions that make our life miserable would not have taken place: we would be humble, meek, kind, benevolent, generous, full of love for each other, patient, self-controlled, pure, etc., because future blessings are endless, inexhaustible, ineffable, unenviable, peaceful, satisfying everyone without loss. A nasty demonic storm came over me today at Semgina’s boarding house; the unclean fire of lust took root in my members: I was embarrassed, shame covered my face, my heart, mind and lips were weakened for the word of truth; the unclean one incited me to uncleanness, did violence to me - I was not myself. My God! What intrigues! Now it burns me with pleasures, now with anger, now with envy and stinginess, now with covetousness, now with pity, now with a passionately restless desire and scorching of shiny and beautiful clothes, now with pride and rebellion, now with relaxation, laziness, apathy, despondency, melancholy, now it strikes me with fear and apprehension and false shame. And all the troubles come from my voluptuousness: from eggs eaten during fasting, from indigenous fish, from tobacco (I smoked a little last night), from sweet tea, from a soft, tasty bun. Strengthen me, God, not to drink tea in the morning, and may I never take cigars or cigarettes. May I crucify my many-passionate flesh, stifled by abstinence, vigil, prayer, labor, obedience, patience with bitterness, and so on. Just as every word sincerely pronounced or spoken in the heart during prayer brings with it the Kingdom of God and supports it in us and in others who sincerely pray with us, so even one hypocritically spoken word deprives us of the Kingdom of God and introduces into the heart the culprit of flattery - the devil, or, rather, the devil himself invades through a word spoken flatteringly, for example with false shame, with false fear. or fear, with a nasty, evil or blasphemous thought, etc. Therefore, during prayer, one must be an eye or eyes to everything, like the many-eyed Cherub, in order to see the machinations of the enemy from everywhere and prevent them. Every time I drink tea - this whim, this newly invented drink taken from the Chinese, the enemy confuses me and puts me in a hostile attitude towards my family. Why am I still giving in to him? Why do I drink tea in the morning? There is no thirst at all. Both we and our neighbors are sometimes overcome by passions, fiercely incited by them - at this time we must take care of us, not irritate us, caress us, calm us down, and console us. As we wish others to treat us, especially during the ferocity of passions, so we should do with our neighbors. We are all sick with sin, this inflammation of the soul. Healing is love, meekness and humility. The heart is the center, the seat of all mental illnesses. Sometimes one kind word completely heals the soul, driving away the devil’s malice from it. You just need to have humility and not remember evil, but forgive everything for the sake of the Lord, who forgives us everything. How long will the fire of passions, this choking flame of hell, smolder us, how long will we give room to the devil within ourselves? May the Lord reign in us forever, may His Kingdom come, may His will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth. Or have you become accustomed to sin, entrenched in it? - The grace of God is stronger than habit, only let us wish with all our hearts to leave passions, only let us earnestly pray to the Lord, that He may send us the dew of His grace, intervening, saving, merciful and preserving. The cross is love, a symbol of love; adhere to the cross and love: be long-suffering, be merciful, do not envy, do not be arrogant, do not be proud, do not act outrageously, do not seek your own, do not be irritated, do not think evil, do not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoice in the truth, cover everything, believe everything in Scripture and tradition, always trust, endure everything, never cease to love [1 Cor. 13, 4 – 7]. A person deserves pity in his passions, and not bitterness and revenge. The episcopal and priestly rank is deification, through bishops and priests and others are adored. What respect is due to the priesthood! What power does his blessing have! From time to time the devil intensifies to fan the flames of anger, envy, stinginess, covetousness, gluttony, laziness and other passions in us. We must constantly fight with them and instill virtues that are opposite to them. If your eye... your hand or foot causes you to sin... [Matt. 5, 29 – 30]. This image of speech suggests that the passions have become as if natural in us, like our members - an eye, an arm, a leg, but that it is still necessary to tear them out or cut them off, despite the pain, because Otherwise, Gehenna cannot be avoided, for nothing foul or unclean will enter... [Rev. 21, 27]. Callousness, rudeness of character, alienation, embarrassment, fear are from the devil. How many spiritual illnesses, infirmities, and disgraces the devil inflicts on people! The Lord can destroy all the wild growths of the heart. Learn struggle, patience, heavenly wisdom, contempt for earthly sweets and splendor: everything earthly is fleeting, like a dream, and has no substance, abidance, like smoke and steam; It may take a thousand years, but it will also flow and at its end will seem like one day. Saturday, eternal rest for those who worked here to please God. We must work and strive for eternal life. As if you were the only ones settled on earth [Isa. 5, 8]. My father-in-law’s enemy survived through me, and now his sister-in-law is surviving. Oh, satanic malice! Am I an alien? Am I not accepted, am I not treated kindly? The archpriest, Father Matthew, survives, while they are from here, and I am a stranger. Look, kiss, greet not only your friends, but also your enemies, and despise the scorching arrows of the enemy’s malice, with which he incites you to be hostile to your neighbor. Tell him: we are all brothers in Christ and must live in love; We leave mutual mistakes to Christ God, Judge and Savior. Restraint of character and will, self-control. Admonish and reprove those who sin in a peaceful mood of spirit, meekly, kindly, pitying them, and not despising them - in a word, in the spirit of fatherly meekness, love, patience, treat everyone who is mentally ill. How many years have we lived in the world, how many times have we been hurt by our obstinacy, and we still have not learned to behave meekly. What should we strive for in prayer? So that every word reaches the heart and passes through it, is conscious and felt. Man is the most changeable creature: one day he is kind, the next he is angry; now he is cheerful, but a minute later he hangs his head, loses heart because of some empty thought, some empty deed; Now he’s sane, the next he’s like a madman. It happens! How carefully you need to treat people! How everyone must correct himself, make himself firm and constant by the grace of God! Under the shadow of God’s grace, I stood throughout the liturgy in St. Isaac’s Cathedral under the service of His Grace Archbishop Philotheus. At the beginning of the ministry, the heart was covered with some kind of shell of worldly passions, earthly, plump, rude; I began to earnestly pray to the Lord for the gift of true prayer, and soon the grace of the Holy Spirit descended on me, took away earthiness and rudeness from my heart and some kind of burden and tightness, and I felt deep peace and spiritual freedom in my heart. I was in grace throughout the entire mass. After mass I visited Konstantin Afanasyevich Skvortsov, director of the 2nd gymnasium; He had a long and lively conversation about spiritual subjects with his mother and sister. Oh, how earthly things weigh on us! What a mediastinum it places between our soul and God, between the material and the spiritual! When I came to the all-night vigil at the Theodore Church (in the Nevsky Lavra) on May 4th and wanted to devote myself entirely to prayer, high thoughts and feelings, I was paralyzed by the slander of the enemy with fear and fear that someone would take money out of my pocket: the thorns of the love of money and covetousness pierced, disturbed and tormented me, I became an alien soul to the world and life of God! I was entangled in the enemy's snares. But I did not despair of God’s mercy and began to pray internally to the Lord, so that He, in His mercy, would dissolve the invisible networks of the enemy in me, forgive me the sin of addiction to earthly things, and grant me spiritual freedom with spiritual and heavenly wisdom. When I prayed in this way or in a similar way, little by little I felt calm, easy, lighter, lighter, and the fear of losing money left me (and there were not many people at all). At this time, I called all those who are not covetous blessed, because they are calm, not consumed by a thirst for more and not indignant at the fear of losing what they have and to which they do not put their hearts - to the temporary, ephemeral. And I said within myself: this same disembodied enemy is disturbing and oppressing me in my house, inspiring and forcing me with his fire to spare everything sweet and valuable for my family, and in fasting - modest and generally inflating and intensifying the scorching, restless thirst for earthly, material, coarse sweets and murderous, bitter enmity towards consumers, and every day my peace is disturbed, the higher things are suppressed philosophizing. The thief is accustomed to stealing - and steals; The spiritual killer is accustomed to spiritual murder - and kills. Turn my heart away, O Lord, from love for possessions and sweets and instill love for You and your neighbor. I need to make haste to correct it: the thorns of pleasures and love of money have grown and strengthened in me. In order to live with all your neighbors in love and harmony, meekness and kindness, you must deny yourself, trample on your pride, you must die spiritually to yourself. (Do you want to love Sister Anna, Father Paul, Father Matthew... deny yourself, don’t believe yourself, tell your thoughts constantly: you lie, you lie! I don’t believe it.) I glorify the greatness of the miracles of goodness and omnipotence that the Lord surprised me with during the all-night vigil on Sunday (June 9th). Having not served for a whole week, I became extremely weak in spirit and subject to all sorts of machinations of the enemy - prodigal, evil, etc. Having begun to serve the all-night vigil, I proclaimed glory to the Holy Trinity in weakness of spirit, and the words Come, let us worship and fall down to Christ, our King God, etc., out of some kind of fear, cowardice and weakness brought on by the devil, couldn't shout. It was painful and humiliating for me not to proclaim these words and to succumb to the enemy, who does not tolerate the praise of God, and I began to fall to the throne of God and kiss it with faith, hope and love and ask the Lord, who sits on him, for strength for sincere prayer, so that the more the enemy prevented me from praising the Lord, the stronger, more vividly, sincerely I and all those who were present would praise it. Him, and soon - oh, grace, oh, hasty obedience of the Master! - I received, indecently, the gift of heartfelt prayer and with warm tears, in the truth of my heart, I prayed from the depths of my soul - both according to the prayers of the Missal, and with the prayers that the grace of the Holy Spirit inspired in me during the all-night vigil, and I performed the entire all-night vigil cheerfully, with a burning spirit (I came to bring down fire to the earth [Luke 12:49]); Grace passed from me to the people: and they all stood focused, calm, in the Spirit. I saw this when I burned incense in the church during the polyeleos. And the True Christ and Light spoke to the end, loudly, with boldness, and forgiveness to the brethren. Glory to Your invincible goodness, O Lord, glory to Your bounty, glory to Your power! Do not forsake Your servant, whom You have invested with the grace of the priesthood, with Your help for the future, until my last service to You on earth, until my last breath, may Your faith be glorified, Great and wondrous God, who alone works miracles! May those who lead You and those who fear You not become scarce on earth! But, O Master, deliver me from demonic malice, for it strongly insists on me, attacks me strongly, torments me, oppresses me. Have mercy on everyone against whom the devil incites me to become embittered, have mercy on me too, for You know how weak and sinful I am! And at home in the evening the Lord surprised me with His mercies and His power when I read the evening prayers and akathists to the Lord and the Most Pure Mother of God and the canon to the holy Guardian Angel, giving me tears of tenderness and saving me from demonic anger towards sister Anna. Save her, Lord! Make her pious and God-fearing! If displeasure and anger occur due to fasting food, then it is better to eat fast food, for example milk, than to live in constant displeasure and enmity. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died [Rom. 14, 15]. It’s amazing how enslaved we are to the senses, how blinded and self-deceived we are! So, for example, a slave of the belly knows from experience that excess in food and drink is very harmful to the soul and body, it oppresses the spirit and body, exposes it to disease, yet continues to eat and drink a lot and greedily; feels an excess of nutrition, burdensome for himself - everything, however, continues to add a new excess to the excess, all the same, as if the owner of a ship overly loaded with various cargo, seeing that it is already flooded from excessive weight, still continues to put cargo on it until it sinks. The same must be said about a covetous person. He has a lot of money - they burden him with excessive worries, fears, excessive worldly distractions, but he still continues to accumulate wealth for a rainy day, as he thinks, or for the benefit of his children, while there is no time to take care of his soul, to enter into its state or into self-examination, into the consciousness and feeling of his sins and bad inclinations, so dangerous for the soul and threatening the eternal wrath of God and the eternal destruction of soul and body. Wealth accumulates, and with it the greed for it intensifies, the worries and sorrows of the soul, inseparable from wealth, multiply, the difficulty of correction and turning to God intensifies, greedy stinginess, hard-heartedness towards others, pride and self-delusion increase, absent-mindedness as well - and a person, giving himself up entirely to vanity, lives neither for God nor for himself, but for some dreamy good, or rather, for the devil, whose will he daily fulfills. My brothers! Even if wealth flows, do not apply your heart [Ps. 61, 11]: what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? or what ransom will a man give for his soul? [Matt. 16, 26]. If I say that the Holy Spirit also comes from the Son, I will be like you (Papists and Lutherans) - a lie. Oh, how disastrous it is to pervert the teaching of the Hypostatic Word Himself and introduce lies into the teaching about the Spirit of truth! One involuntarily recalls the words of St. Athanasius of Alexandria about the Orthodox-Catholic faith: whoever does not keep whole and blameless, except for all bewilderment, will perish forever 55. Say after this that all faiths are equal: Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant! If anyone preaches to you anything other than what you have received, let him be accursed [Gal. 1, 9]. Orthodox Christians, hold fast to your faith and live according to its instructions. Consider yourselves dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord [Rom. 6, 11]. Think, brother, that you are as if dead to malice, envy, pride, to money, to sweets, to expensive clothes, to luxurious dishes, furniture and generally to room decorations, to curses or slander, to slander and condemnation, to beautiful faces, etc. Does human malice affect the dead? – Doesn’t work: although you cut a dead man into pieces, he doesn’t feel; swear at him, he won’t feel it. Is the devil active in him? - No: from the moment his eyes closed forever, all earthly blessings became like nothing for him, weaker than a shadow, more deceptive than a dream; he died entirely for envy; he bitterly regrets his former blindness and his former delusion, that he was chasing ghosts and did not care about gaining true, abiding, eternal blessings. Does pride work in the dead? - No, again. For after death all the madness of pride was revealed to his soul: why was I proud, he says, I am earth and ashes? How was I better than others, what did I have that I could not have received from God? How blind I was to see my weaknesses, sins, passions, and how sharp-sighted I was to the weaknesses of others, to condemn and despise those like me, and to exalt myself pharisaically! Does a dead man like money? - Of course not: from the moment his gaze went out, he no longer sees this charming metal, after which the world is chasing and, chasing, forgets both God and his immortal soul, its purpose, its responsibilities in relation to To God, to neighbors. With death, the charm of earthly blessings ends: things are visible in their true meaning, like insignificant dust, like beauty, like a dream, like nothing. After death and sweetness, all the luxurious tables, all the luxurious dishes, the rich, luxurious decoration of the rooms, the splendor of clothes, the beauty of faces - everything will appear in its true form and meaning, like dust. Therefore, before we die physically, let us consider ourselves dead to sin [Rom. 6, 11], so that this will be counted to us as merit and justification; Let us live for God and all virtue, not on our own - for this is impossible, but in Christ Jesus our Lord, that is, with His help, which we will always diligently ask for with sincere prayer. Thy kingdom come [Matt. 6, 10 ], that is Heavenly, so that people in grief have their hearts, where They spent their fatherland, their spiritual life, all to please Him, both wisely and in action, 56 and trampled all carnal lusts, so that they could live in love and truth. God! In this city and in all cities and villages there are many babies, boys and girls, poor and defenseless - raise them, intercede, save and preserve them with Your grace. It is blessed to work for the Lord - to serve in the church, under all the temptations of the enemy, under all stumblings, for through this service and these temptations the enemy nesting within us, entering into us in many different ways through our various wrongs, is exposed - and expelled, and, if he nested under the guise of illness or general relaxation of the soul and body, the illness is healed, weakness turns into vigor and strength. Glory to the Lord for everything - both for the temptations of the enemy and for exposing his deceit! When I see this multitude of poor people, without bread, without clothing, without shelter, I involuntarily think of your various whims, which you have invented for yourself to satisfy all your real desires - your luxurious homes with rich wallpaper, your household utensils, of which even one insignificant, and even completely unnecessary, thing costs tens of rubles; your very long dresses, sometimes made of expensive material, the surplus of which could feed several beggars for several days; your cigarettes and cigars and silver cigar boxes come to mind - these true trifles, this stupid whim that you took into your head in the blindness of your mind; finally, these gambling tables, at which you lose tens and hundreds of rubles, while you regret giving the poor a few kopecks for their daily bread. Truly, according to the Apostle, God has given you over to a depraved mind—to do lewd things [Rom. 1, 28]. But what answer will you give to God, Who created everything and ordered it by measure, number and weight [Wis. 11, 21] and according to Whose plans there are enough earthly blessings in abundance for all His creatures, especially rational ones? Why are you perverting the Divine order? That our entire earthly life with all its vanity, with covetousness, gluttony, partying, games, even if it lasted 70 or 80 or even 100 years? - Like nothing, or like a ghost, like a dream. That is why the true sages of the Christian world - saints, such as: apostles, hierarchs, martyrs, reverends, righteous, seeing the impermanence and deceitfulness of earthly blessings and the fact that they remove from God and from the fulfillment of His commandments, paid all attention to future blessings, constant, eternal, spiritual, and to the Last Judgment to the whole world and reward to everyone according to their deeds, and with all their hearts in all their lives they strove to possess heavenly blessings, which God has prepared from eternity for those who love Him, and earthly ones they considered as rubbish. Nowadays, who among us does not pursue earthly goods? Who doesn't have an addiction to them? Who thinks about future benefits? Who strives with ardent love to possess them? Alas! They are considered by others to be a dream of the imagination! I will rely on the Lord in everything, in all my weaknesses and displeasures, in all insults from my enemies - for He is the healing of all infirmities, the solution to all displeasures and the perfect satisfaction of the needs of the spirit and the true needs of the body; He is the reconciliation of my enemies who fiercely attack me; He reconciles me with them when I am indignant with them. He Himself turns people’s grievances into my good and brings sweetness out of bitterness. I will rely in everything on the Lord and will be satisfied with my present position and the people around me, for there is no person without sin, without weakness, without passion: everyone is a sinner who inherited sinful corruption from Adam, and I too. This is the task of our life: to suppress, to mortify in ourselves every sin, every passion, to be patient, meek, to suppress malice, envy, covetousness, fornication, greed for food and drink, despondency, etc., and to constantly pray to the Lord for help, that He Himself will correct us, for without Him we cannot do anything [Jn. 15:5] - since He is the Savior and physician of our souls and bodies and a light to us in our darkness. May I be sincerely friendly to everyone and may I wish for others from the bottom of my heart the same thing that I wish for myself: for example, if I myself love to live in the country, in the clean air, I wish both of them and I do not envy him that he is leaving for the clean air; if I like to go somewhere myself, I don’t envy if my neighbors also go there; may the pleasures and benefits of others be for me as my own, as well as the sorrows, misfortunes and illnesses of others - as my own, and may I place my well-being and bliss in the Lord, and not in earthly blessings, not in dachas, not in walks, not in money and wealth - let me care for the immortal soul, my own and others. Yes, I remember that the earth is a country of origin, and not a fatherland. Do you believe in the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, that you belong to the society of those who are being saved, that you are a member of Christ, a child of God and an heir of Christ? Do you live as your high calling requires, as you should act in the house of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth [1 Tim. 3, 15 ]? What extremes, equally reprehensible, happen to us both in church during prayer and singing, and at home, namely: because of someone’s weakness, we laugh, even if he is a respected person, and we are embarrassed, trembling before the mighty of this world, as if death had come for us, as if they wanted to devour us - this is how the enemy laughs at us, for I believe that this is his business, and ours is cowardice and lack of faith. God! show us perfect for Thy name's sake, unshakable, firm in virtue, reverent before Thy face, which even the many-eyed cannot look upon. (An incident in the cathedral during Vespers with a St. Petersburg gentleman who sang stichera.) If you don't have a post, then buy it! Thus, fasting is necessary for living the life of the Gospel; but if we do not want to live according to the Gospel, but according to Alkoran 57 or according to the disposition and passion of the flesh, then why fast? It is not necessary - because fasting somewhat mortifies the flesh, cools it, and lightens it. But it is remarkable that Alkoran itself, copying somewhat the Gospel, introduces fasting into the life of Muslims! So it is considered necessary even by non-Christians! But Luther surpassed Mohammed - he completely abandoned his posts. Having been to a glass factory at the very beginning of June, I saw how glass was inflated and stretched. An amazing thing, I thought: fire turns sand and other compounds into fiery dough, or into fiery viscous resin, from which glass is formed. What a great figure - fire! What cannot be done through fire! Almost everything that is in our house and in our hands is done through it. Finally, the world itself will transform 58 through his own agency. The elements, having flared up, will be destroyed, the earth and all the things on it will burn up. If all this is destroyed, then what kind of holy life and piety should you have? 2 Peter, 3, 10 and I. Now fire serves us in everything, although sometimes it burns our houses and even people; but eternity will come when he will forever devour sinners in Gehenna! And how little we think about this and therefore how little or no correction there is - how much addiction to worldly things! The consequence of eating meat food is a lustful rage of the flesh, unclean dreams, ejaculation at night, and during the day - heaviness, despondency, laziness, and inability to engage in spiritual activities. This is how bad it is for those pursuing a spiritual life to eat meat! That is why meat food is forbidden to monks, and that is why it is taken away from the laity on fasting days - Wednesday and Friday, and during all fasts. Only Luther, who did not understand spiritual life, in a frenzy of pride could reject fasting. Glory to the Spirit of truth and holiness operating in our Orthodox Church! What insolence and madness I did today in the face of the Lord God: I became embittered at the church watchman of the altar because, as it seemed to me, he held half of the royal door and made it known that I should read a prayer for the gift of rain with the royal doors open. I should be grateful to him for what he said, but I was angry with him for reminding me of this. How to take a reprimand from a watchman! Isn't this pride and anger? And shouldn’t we accept truth and righteousness from everyone as from God Himself? Isn’t it true that in every guardian and beggar one must respect the image of God and honestly 59 have it, love and respect it as oneself? Similar pride occurs at home, in my relations with my sister-in-law Anna and even my wife Elizabeth, in my relations with frequent guests, with the poor. I am a moral nonentity: without the Lord I do not have a truly true thought, a good feeling or a straight good deed; Without Him, I cannot drive away from myself sinful thoughts, passionate feelings, for example, anger, envy, fornication, pride, etc. The Lord is the accomplishment of all the good that I think, feel, and do. Oh, how infinitely wide and active the grace of the Lord is in me! Everything is Lord for me, and so clear, constantly! My only sinfulness, my only weaknesses! Oh, how we must love the Lord, who deigned to call us from non-existence to being, to honor us with His image and likeness, to settle in a paradise of sweets, to conquer the whole earth, and when we did not keep His commandments and were carried away by the deception of the devil and immeasurably offended our Creator with our ingratitude and absorbed the qualities of the tempter: pride, malice, envy, ingratitude and all his evil arts, which he began to teach us as his captives - He did not reject us forever, but was pleased to redeem us from sin, curse and death, to which we fell through sin, and at the end of centuries He Himself appeared on earth, taking on our nature, He Himself became my teacher, healer, miracle worker, Savior; He himself took the execution for me, died for me, so that I would not perish forever; rose again in order to resurrect me after death; ascended to heaven in order to raise me there too, who had fallen through sin, and became everything to me - food, drink, clothing, air, light, cleansing, shrine, health, intervening power, saving, preserving and merciful. I am nothing, but by the grace of the priesthood I bring down rain upon the earth; by the laying on of hands and prayer, especially through the teaching of the Divine Body and Blood, I become a secondary or tertiary culprit in the healing of diseases; through me, the grace of the Spirit revives infants and adults into existence, completes the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, unites the faithful with the Divine; Through me he solves and binds the sins of men, shuts and opens heaven, gives soul-saving advice, rules, etc. Oh, how we honor the rank of the priesthood! Brethren! You see how many good deeds the Creator and Savior pours out on you through the priests. Our covetousness and voluptuousness is expressed in the fact that when we see beggars approaching us to ask for alms, our insides seem to turn with annoyance at them because they dare to encroach on our property, and we don’t want to see them and often drive them away from us, although these beggars often have nothing to eat, nothing to put on their feet, nothing to cover their body, whether to pay for a corner or not, and a penny for medicine to buy it, yes use yourself. It is this unsociable, evil feeling that you must always go against and defeat it in yourself and give alms against your will. If you overcome yourself, your heart will be light and calm, joyful and expansive. If at another time anger again pushes away the poor, overcome it again - give again, and again it will be easy. And in this way you will learn to crucify the passion of covetousness. Quite often, the darkness of the spirit of malice surrounds our heart and does not allow us to speak peacefully with our neighbors who have offended us once or several times or have shown their ill will towards us. We must earnestly pray to the Lord that He Himself will disperse this darkness of malice and fill our hearts with goodness and love even for them, our enemies - for they, blinded by passions: pride, envy, covetousness, malice - do not themselves know what they are doing, just as the enemies of the Lord Jesus Christ did not know, who persecuted Him all their lives and finally killed Him with a blasphemous death. We must remember that the Christian faith lies in loving our enemies, for if we love only those who love us, what unnecessary things are we doing? And don’t the pagans do the same? [Matt. 5, 46 – 47]. Force yourself in every possible way to love those whom you turn away 1) because of the evil, proud, envious, greedy habit of your heart and 2) because of the same character of the persons you do not love (hypocritical, prodigal, capricious, vain) and those who take what you have for free and do not eat your bread, and not only those who are of the same mind with you and give it to you. This is required by the Christian faith. Judas was also at the Savior’s table, and He did not drive him out. Get over yourself. Be meek, kind, patient, non-covetous, not greedy, not stingy. Sometimes we enmity against people at home or strangers because they keep us from pursuing our passions - anger, malice, greed, stinginess, theft, uncleanness, luxury, etc. How vain enmity can be! What benefactors our villains often are! Seek, first, the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33]. How to seek, firstly, the Kingdom of God? - as follows: suppose you want to walk or travel, sail somewhere for some everyday, temporary need - first pray to the Lord that He will correct the paths of your heart, and then the upcoming bodily path, or that He will direct the path of your life according to His commandments, and desire this with all your heart and often renew your prayer about this; The Lord, seeing your sincere desire and effort to walk in His commandments, will little by little correct all your ways; further, for example, if you want to make the room clean, or if you go for a walk in the fresh air, remember the pure and unclean heart; Many of us, who are eager to freshen the room air or take walks in the fresh air, do not even think about the need for purity of spirit or heart (spiritual, so to speak, air, the breath of life) and, living in the fresh air, allow ourselves unclean thoughts, unclean movements of the heart, or even foul language and the most filthy acts of the flesh. If you are looking for material light, remember the spiritual light, which is necessary for the soul and without which it remains in the darkness of passions, in the darkness of spiritual death. I have come as light into the world, says the Lord, so that whoever believes in Me will not remain in darkness [Jn. 12, 46]. If you see the ferocity and howling of the storm and hear about shipwrecks, remember the storm of human passions, which raises a daily howl and confusion in human hearts and wrecks the spiritual ship of the soul or the ship of human society - and pray earnestly to the Lord, may He tame the storm of sins, as He once tamed the storm at sea with a word [Lk. 8, 24], and may he eradicate our passions from our hearts and restore eternal silence. If you feel a feeling of hunger or thirst and want to eat or drink, remember the hunger and thirst of the soul (it thirsts for righteousness, justification in Jesus Christ, sanctification), which if you do not satisfy, your soul can die of hunger, suppressed by passions, exhausted, exhausted - and, satisfying your bodily hunger, do not forget, do not forget to quench your spiritual hunger - by conversation with God, sincere repentance in sins, reading the Gospel history and Gospel moral teachings, especially the communion of the Divine Mysteries of the Body and Blood of Christ; If you like to flaunt a dress or when you put on clothes, remember the incorruptible robe of righteousness, in which our soul must be clothed, or about Christ Jesus, who is our spiritual robe, as it is said: as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ [Gal. 3, 27 ]; the passion for panache quite often completely displaces from the heart the very thought of the incorruptible garment of the soul and turns the whole life into a vain concern for grace in clothing. If you are a student, a student of any educational institution, or an official of any department, an officer of any military unit or a technologist, a painter, a sculptor, a manufacturer, a craftsman of any workshop - remember that the first science of each of you is to be a true Christian, to sincerely believe in the Trinitarian God, to talk with God every day in prayer, to participate in worship, to observe the charters and decrees of the Church - both before and after work, and after the deed, bear the name of Jesus in your heart, for it is light, strength, our shrine, our help. I am a sinful, many-sinful person: I have clogged the eyes of all my neighbors with my sins, I have pushed everyone away from me - both Father Paul and Father Matthew. It is good in all respects to give to the poor: in addition to pardon at the Last Judgment, and here on earth, alms-givers often receive great mercies from their neighbors, and what others get for a lot of money is given to them for free. In fact, the most humane and righteous and wise Heavenly Father, whose children have mercy on the merciful, will he not reward them here too to encourage them to greater deeds, or at least to continue the same works of mercy and to correct the unmerciful, who mock the merciful? Dignified and righteous. Share with love with the poor: you know what a bitter life they drag out, how hard-hearted people are towards them; Do not have a shadow of bitter malice in your heart towards them when they come up to you one after another, for a grave sin is malice, and it grows and takes root over time - besides, in relation to the poor it is extremely unfair and absurd. I thank the Lord, the King of Peace, who reconciled me with my brother, Archpriest Matthew and his wife, Ekaterina Nikolaevna, and who gave me a word to them. They both suffer great sorrows from evil tongues, and she suffers from illness and from tongues together. The word is given to us for mutual communication, for friendship, for comforting each other, for teaching, for conversation. When I began to talk to them, the hostility towards them that had held me 60 melted in my heart and disappeared. Beware of vain anger or anger towards your neighbor, and beware of enmity as you would of Satan himself. Know that enmity is not a profit, but the greatest loss for you, for your soul - sorrow and crampedness and languor, and it also takes away peace and tranquility from your neighbor, and it is absurd, for it destroys itself with its lethality. If you see even an outward desire for your good from your neighbor, whom you suspect of always being at enmity against you, be glad of this and bless him, and do not think that he is pretending: this opinion is food for new malice. In order not to constantly work on passions, you need to work constantly for the Lord, for example, take up some large composition and work on it constantly, not allowing yourself to be idle, except for the necessary walks and conversations with family and visitors. Amazing things! No matter how much we worry about our health, no matter how much we take care of ourselves, no matter how healthy, pleasant foods we eat, no matter how healthy drinks we drink, no matter how much we walk in the fresh air - but what ends up happening in the end is that we are exposed to disease and decay. The saints, who despised the flesh, who killed it by incessant abstinence and fasting, lying on the bare ground, vigil, labor, and unceasing prayer, immortalized both their soul and flesh; our bodies, well-fed and sweet-drinking, emit a stench after death, and sometimes during life, and their bodies are fragrant and bloom both during life and after death. It’s an amazing thing: while we create, we destroy our body, and they, while destroying, created; We, pouring fragrances over it, do not avoid its stench, but they, not caring about the fragrance of the body, but that the soul should be a fragrance for God, scented their bodies. My brothers! Understand the task, the purpose of your life! We must mortify the multi-passionate body through abstinence, work, prayer, and not revive it and its passions through delicacy, satiety, laziness. How great is our malice! When a stranger, not a member of our family, comes to us against our wishes, especially for a day or more, then we show the properties of animals: we are angry with the person who came, and, if he was brought to us by someone who is not of the same mind as us, then also with him. Why do we look at our neighbor as a stranger, and not as one of our own, not as one of our own, and moreover, as Christ’s, and why are we not happy with him, as we should be and as we wished for ourselves from others? This is savagery, brutality, spiritual ugliness. We must root out this vain anger towards those who come to us and love them as ourselves, or as we want them to love us. Oh, how proud we are! How alien to the slightest self-sacrifice for our neighbors! If a neighbor occupied our corner for a while or drank several cups of sweet tea, then we consider this already a sufficient reason to hate and despise him. What do we have of our own? Nothing: everything came from God and it was easy. How can we have compassion for God’s neighbor, who is a member of us and of Christ? Where is Christian love? Where is the mercy and generosity? We are animals, and our homes are dens. Don’t give yourself the will to be angry with anyone or anything. It is a devilish habit to become angry with a person immediately because of a trifle. Several times today I was angry with Anna Konstantinovna for bringing Yulia A. Pash., and I repented of that to the Lord with all my soul, forced by the tightness and sorrow of my heart, and received forgiveness, and ease, and peace. Look at the malice of others with indifference or with regret, praying for them to the Lord as captives of the devil; on the proud and envious, the lovers of money, the stingy, fornicators, thieves, hypocrites, liars - the same. Protect yourself in every possible way from these sins. Mourn your sins. If your neighbor causes harm to your property, or only eats and drinks from you for free, or stands tall in front of you, speaks arrogantly or maliciously, do not have anger or enmity towards him for this, but, on the contrary, have pity on him from the bottom of your heart, for he is doing great harm to himself, and if you harbor enmity towards him, then you will do greater harm to yourself - for you will not be able to make up for the loss of your property, and you will add to the debt. You won’t regain his humility, but you will cause yourself great anxiety, and you will allow evil to defeat you, but you will not defeat evil. How many empty and incessant pretexts does the hater of the human race present for our neighbors, so at least be constantly angry with people, at least be constantly angry - live according to his hellish, all-destructive will. – Do not chase after his ghosts, leave all enmity and love everyone, for love is from God. I am a workman of the devil, for the devil builds in me his malice, pride, self-love, envy, stinginess, anger, irritability, delicacy and satiety, prodigal uncleanness, despondency, disobedience and other passions. Truly I understand that in order to fulfill the Gospel I must deny myself and all my possessions; then only will I be a disciple of the Lord when I renounce myself, for in fact I am the container of all evil, and my possessions are the net of the incorporeal enemy, into which he constantly traps me, because of which he makes me proud, incessantly angry, stingy, hard-hearted, and other passions. If you love the flesh, you will hate God and your neighbor; if you despise your flesh, you will love God and your neighbor with sincere love. God! You continually conquer hell in me through my prayer, and if I am not yet in hell, it is Your mercy, hell to the Conqueror, Lord! Glory to You, our Benefactor, our Savior! Where would we be without You? We would be true beasts and would destroy each other. What would happen to individuals would also happen to nations. If individuals and nations lived according to Your Gospel, then there would be no enmity, civil strife, or wars. When we are fully aware of the need for our good, temporal and eternal, to live according to the Gospel! And now how few people read the Gospel! In order to succeed in humility, meekness, kindness, generosity and other virtues, it is necessary to bridle the belly without fail: we are in a feat against the enemies of salvation, who constantly fight us - all ascetics abstain from everything, according to the Apostle [1 Cor. 9, 25]. He who does not fight against the enemies of salvation and against his passions does not see any need to be abstinent in everything and allows himself everything, while the ascetic must observe extreme caution in everything. Consider it a great thing to be kind to someone, to comfort a neighbor who comes to you, to talk to him from the heart; in the world they usually consider money, clothes, vessels, etc., to be self-interest; in the Christian order - not that, but mutual love or deeds of mutual love, distributing necessities to the poor. Alas for me! As I grow old, my anger and all my passions grow old within me! How can I be freed from sin, this sin-loving one 61 . I pray, I read the word of God, the writings of the holy fathers, I partake of the Divine Body and Blood, I ward off others with water and the Spirit, but I myself still remain the same sinner, I still live and walk in the old charm of sin, I myself have not been reborn, not renewed. God! I surrender myself to You (or teach me to surrender to You) - arrange my salvation, I am perishing in my sins. Your sister Anna, if she sins against you, soon tries to make amends for her guilt with sincere treatment of you, helpfulness, and thereby repents of her mistake; and you, having sinned against her, do not try to make up for it later with the kindness and service of your act. This is pride. If you want to stand at the right hand of the Judge, try to have the qualities of a sheep: meekness, kindness, patience - and drive away the goat’s stench of passions. Chaff (Church Glav.) – chaff, straw. That is, not dreamy, not deceptive, but true, spiritual food. Praise (Church Glav.) – hinder, contradict, interfere. The Savior prefers a loving and beloved life to intemperance, now I am burdened with a heavy burden. Canon of St. Andrew of Crete on Tuesday of the First Week of Great Lent. Song 2. Packs (Church Glav.) - again, again. To denigrate (with speeches) – to slander, slander, vilify. Tares (Church Slavic) – worthless weeds. Yazhe (Church Glav.) – Which. Prayer to the Most Holy Trinity “Rising from sleep...”. We are going to heaven, the blissful home of Adam and Eve. Lishshe (Church Glav.) – in abundance. Torture (Church Glav.) – demand back. Tolikoe (church glory) – so much, so great. It will present (church glory) – it is coming. “Whoever wants to be saved, first of all, it is fitting for him to hold the catholic (i.e., conciliar, ecumenical - Peg.) faith, even if someone does not keep it whole and blameless, except for all bewilderment, he will perish forever.” Prayer of the priest at the liturgy before reading the Gospel; it is also the 9th prayer of the lamp at Matins. It will transform (church-glorified) - will be destroyed, will be overthrown. Honestly - respectfully, with honor. She held me - held me in her power, possessed me. Let their teeth not eat my soul like a chick, the Word: woe is me, how the imam is cut off from the enemy, this sin-loving one! At Matins, Antiphon 2, Tone 2. You might be interested in: