Апрель

April 9, 1868 I thank my All-Merciful Savior, who has given me the grace to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling and to partake without condemnation of His Divine and Life-giving Mysteries, who has pacified and strengthened me spiritually and physically. Radonitsa. There were 140 lists of commemorations. 1st grade - that is, 1st break, served in 6th grade. In 2nd – 5th grade I read the homily for Holy Easter by Metropolitan Gregory 36 and the Catholic Mass. Much peace to those who do Your law, O Lord! It is good for you to work, Lord! But satisfying the aspirations of our sinful heart is destructive. Anxiety, fear, fire, cramped conditions, dishonor, anticipation of a terrible judgment. If I had married my own, I would have wished well to the newlyweds more sincerely. This is what one female relative told me when she saw that my brother-in-law’s marriage was celebrated not by me, but by an outside priest. Yes, I must marry everyone as if they were my own, just as I would like to be married to me. I owe you so much, you have done so much for me, that I cannot refuse you anything, I cannot be offended or offended by you, even if you treated me cruelly. This is what those who have been blessed say to their benefactor. Who is our greater benefactor if not the Lord Jesus Christ, who created, redeemed, and continually provided for us? And will we refuse to fulfill His holy commandments, the fulfillment of which consists of our duty, our gratitude to Him? And since He does not require any gifts from us, as God, who contains everything, and instead of Him commanded us to repay debts of love and gratitude to our brothers, for example, the poor, who are His members, then we will not spare our property for the poor, we will give daily mites for them and we will hold on to this virtue of alms until the grave, so that we may find the Lord mercifully on the day of Judgment. In vanity we work hard, a lot and for a long time, but for the Lord God we work little, coldly, lazily and hastily. We perform services hastily, but at parties, theaters, clubs, etc. we are ready to sit through the night. I stuck my head out of the carriage and my eyes were blocked - don’t yawn, don’t look to the side, especially where there is a strong tendency of wind and dust. It's safe on the water. So it is in spiritual terms: do not yawn when you serve God, do not be entertained by extraneous thoughts, otherwise the mental wind - an evil spirit - will clog the mental eye - look to God alone. Your external life - trading, collecting and counting profits, accumulating money, property in general, neglect of alms, going to balls, theatre, club, evenings at which you diligently play cards or engage in gossip, gossip and various fairy tales - this is a pagan life, and those who live in this or a similar way are the enemies of God. And the Lord your God, Creator and Savior and Judge, requires from you an inner life according to the ear, and not according to the flesh, your faith and life according to faith, and, of course, not He, but you yourself need this life, for God does not need anyone or anything, He demands the fulfillment of His commandments just for us. So, the inner Christian life is required of you: all of you who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ [Gal. 3, 27], - what is required of you is meekness and kindness, family and public piety, or home and public prayer; dispassion for earthly things and heavenly wisdom, love and mercy for one’s neighbor, especially almsgiving; zeal to fulfill the will of the Heavenly Father with contempt for one’s sinful will, one’s earthly and evil inclinations, the patience of Christ, love for enemies and prayer for them; concern for the salvation of people perishing in sins, sleeping in spiritual death; courage in enduring temptations and sorrows, contemplation of God, exercise in reading soul-saving books, especially the Gospels, Christian conversations, for example about God, about the creation of the world, man, about the purpose of man, predestination, about the Savior of men, about the salvation of souls, about the resurrection of the dead, about the Last Judgment, about eternal fire, about eternal bliss; encouraging one another to do good deeds is what is required of you by God, your Creator, your Savior, your Judge, your eternal or Father or Avenger. What do you say to this? Will you refuse to live according to the will of your God? But His will is an immutable law for all of us, and to renounce its fulfillment means dooming oneself to eternal destruction, to His eternal vengeance. Turn from sins like mine, and leave the path of destruction. Earthly life is a constant struggle and war with passions and with the opposing forces of evil spirits. God! You see my dispositions and aspirations of my heart, my sinful storm. I am constantly in sin. Save me and do not judge me based on my deeds. Everything in the world is good [Gen. 1:31], but with our sins we have desecrated and disfigured much in the world of God and changed the beautiful image of nature, for because of us the sky is as if copper and the earth as if iron, because of us the sky is cloudy, because of us there are pestilences, because of us there is illness and a terrible image of death; our sins disfigure the image of our face, created in the image and likeness of God, and then, when we apparently live, we drag out our life here. Sovereign Lord! Today you gave me an oral testimony of the fruitfulness of my presiding in the church, public prayer and private prayer in the house. I thank You for this - this testimony of hearts serves as encouragement and reinforcement for me in the matter of inner prayer. The miraculous salvation of the free navigator Ivanov from obvious death as a result of conciliar prayer in the house under my leadership. Lord, not to me, but to Your name be the glory [Ps. 113, 9]. One must pray to God with the mind and, at the same time, with a contrite, warm heart and the desire of the will for correction and the accomplishment of every virtue. Like a jack 37 attracts the prayer of an altar server when he earnestly prays for people. (Jack is the expression of one sailor Ivanov). But for this, a strong struggle must first be endured against opposing forces that are intensifying to dispel prayer. What kind of Christian are you when, being in church and hearing the Gospel commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ, for example, the commandment: give alms [Lk. 12, 33], or: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart [Matt. 11, 29], - upon leaving the church, you act contrary to these commandments and, seeing the poor, do not give him a penny, and if he asks you persistently, you become angry with him and push him, forgetting that his persistence does not come from his impudence, but from his crying need, or, better, extreme need forces him to be impudent and unobtrusive? What kind of Christian are you when you do not have a feeling of compassion for your neighbor, who is a member of Christ and your member, when you are devoted to earthly and material desires, when you are covetous, money-loving, proud, angry, alien to true faith, hope and Christian love, when you have not learned to curb your passions? A Christian, or Christ’s disciple, follower, son, must have and carry within himself the spirit of Christ. If anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His [Rom. 8, 9]. Oh, how terrible this is! It is terrible because there are few among us who have the spirit of Christ - everyone seeks their own, and not what pleases Jesus Christ [Phil. 2:21], everyone is bound by worldly lusts and pleasures, and does not seek heavenly blessings, does not think about things above, but about earthly and material things, and from such thinking flow all the passions that transform our lives. Why don’t you give alms to the poor with love and joy and generosity? You see that they are like hungry sheep without a shepherd; they must be warmed with greetings, affection and willingly served every day: the Lord will reward them, and even without retribution, duty, feeling and nature encourage this. The devil, death, wants to silence the priest, so that he does not pray, so that he does not mention some or all saints, does not say prayers either in his entire composition, or some expressions and words, and for this he tries to entertain him with dreams, embarrassment and other ghosts. Obviously, in order to counteract his machinations, one must pronounce firmly, from the heart, every word in prayers, every name of a saint, and not succumb to absurd embarrassment. When distributing perishable goods to the poor, remember that the Lord has prepared incorruptible, eternal blessings for those who keep His commandments, and do not grieve or become irritated when distributing, but keep love and mercy in your heart. Remember also that the Lord often feeds you with His Flesh and Blood, and in this Flesh and Blood you already have an eternal life. In a church or in general in the Church of Christ, or a meeting of believers in Christ, it’s not like in the world: in the world there is partiality - in the Church this should not happen: here the rich and the poor, the noble and the commoner are equal; Be extremely careful of partiality, when, for example, rich or poor, simple or noble, ask you to perform services; Be the same towards everyone: in front of some, don’t be timid or indulgent, don’t be ashamed, and in front of others, don’t be careless or insolent 38 . The divine importance of church prayers: one must read them with extreme attention, reverence and sincerity. Despise human vanity and openly look at everyone with authority - like a shepherd, a priest and a judge. You feed the cathedral of the poor, you clothe you - the Lord will honor you to be in the cathedral of angels, forefathers, patriarchs, prophets, apostles, martyrs, hierarchs, saints and all saints! Is this reward small? Isn't eternal life worth your alms? O, sell your possessions and give them all to the poor with joy [Lk. 12, 33]. Christians are a garden planted by the Heavenly Father. And every garden that My Father in Heaven did not plant will be uprooted [Matt. 15, 13]. For a person, the burden is excess food and drink and excess possessions: he needs to share more of both with others, give alms; and he, meanwhile, eats and drinks, mostly immoderately, accumulates property after property, is unmerciful and uncompassionate towards the poor and therefore suffers obvious punishments from God, natural and special, extraordinary, experiences illness, sorrow, failure, does not find peace in his bones from the face of his sins [Ps. 37, 4]. So I, a sinner, belong to the number of such people. I have surpluses, but I share them reluctantly with many needy people who come to me often, considering them a whim, their laziness, their begging, and not a crying need. People suffer in real life in two ways - some more spiritually, others more physically: the rich, learned, noble people suffer more spiritually, namely: pride, envy, malice, cunning, pretense, hypocrisy, luxury, fornication, unbelief; the poor, uneducated, simple suffer from ignorance both in faith and in everything, intemperance, especially drunkenness, laziness, rudeness, and shortcomings in everything. And the priest, as a shepherd of verbal sheep, must pay attention to all these vices and expose and eradicate them with word and prayer, and he must especially correct himself from all weaknesses and shortcomings in order to be a light for people [Matt. 5:14] and salt, for if the salt loses its strength, then with what will you make it salty? [Matt. 5, 13]. He must constantly be above his parishioners in his thoughts, feelings, aspirations, in words and deeds, he must be lifted up in spirit by grief, represent more often the general resurrection, the general Last Judgment, the division of the righteous and sinners and the introduction of some into the eternal Kingdom and the sending of others to the eternal fire; he must eat little bread and drink only water, sleep little and have fun, and in general be on guard of his own salvation and others entrusted to him, not be bound by worldly lusts and pleasures: love of money, sweets, desire for expensive clothes, earthly pleasures; he must soar, like an eagle, above the earthly sphere, for the homeland of Christians is heaven. In addition to all creation, let the thought and aspiration of the soul flow to the Creator of all, who created us in His image and likeness and redeemed us with His Blood. God! Look at Your wealth, and I will protect you, and I will take [Russian: lift up] until the end of time [Ps. 27, 9]. Oh, what an ineffable blessing the Lord has given me in the Divine and Life-Giving Mysteries! They take away my sins and with them spiritual and physical death, they take away confusion, cramped conditions, despondency, shame, powerlessness of soul and body for all that is good, spiritual darkness, cowardice, humiliation, fear, and they bring into my being life, holiness, boldness, space and freedom, peace, joy, greatness, strength, light. Glory to Your Life-Giving Mysteries, truly. Don't drink coffee; do not eat meat; Drink as little tea as possible. Use salted liquid black caviar in damp weather. Against scrofula (rottenness). Sometimes a person is all irritability, all evil. This is a painful state of his spirit and partly his body, a painful concussion of his nerves. We must immediately turn to prayer at this time and pray to God or the Most Pure Mother of God to heal mental illness - and the storm of anger will disappear, and goodness and peace will prevail. The disembodied enemy constantly slanderes our neighbors, especially relatives, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, arouses and inflames enmity towards them in our hearts because of the most empty things or reasons, which he always exaggerates or falsely presents to our mind and heart; and so we often, because of trifles, because of our own dreams, become angry with each other, do not speak to each other, do not look at each other, are restless, torment ourselves and others. We need condescension towards our neighbors, a good opinion of them, fear of thinking evil about them, patience with things that are unpleasant to our flesh or to our habits. I thank the Lord, who gave me the grace to marry calmly, without stumbling. April 12th Sunday. Beware of the machinations of the disembodied enemy, especially when eating food, for at this time he has the habit of hurting us with contempt and evil bitterness towards our neighbor who goes with us at our meal, even those closest to us, slandering them that they eat and drink immoderately, or do not know how to eat and drink, or eat and drink greedily, while we ourselves really do not want to admit it. Cover with love the real shortcomings of your neighbor, so that the Lord will cover yours with His mercy. How much idle talk and condemnation we have in our daily conversations! We forget that for every idle word that people speak, they will give an answer on the day of judgment [Matt. 12, 36]. How the habit of eating meat, fish, and delicacies takes root in me, but also how my heart hardens, cools, turns to stone in love for my neighbors, even for my family, not to mention the love for God. When will I stop eating meat for the sake of my soul?.. Oh, Esau! Look at your brother and colleague as if you were God Himself, for he is the image of God and bears the dignity of Christ. Forget all his sins and weaknesses that come from the cunning of the enemy, look at your sins, how many there are and how great they are - and humble yourself, remember your countless weaknesses. I thank the Lord, who heeded my prayer at midnight and in the morning and gave me the certainty, boldness and strength to speak by name of the royal house and to read the prayer behind the pulpit slowly and calmly, in front of a gathering of many military officials, during the cathedral service. Glory to Thee, Most Holy Trinity! A true Christian never forgets that he is a captive of the devil in this world, and sighs incessantly for the spiritual freedom given by the Son of God to all who believe in Him, making the effort to free themselves from slavery to sins; a true Christian lives carefully, using all earthly things in moderation, does not spend time in idle talk and idle games, does not covet, does not envy - he constantly prays and repents of his sins. Stepanov, a Duma official, drowned himself because he lost 90 rubles at cards. What a horror the game brings! Gamblers must be taught not to become addicted to the game. What does the Cross of the Lord remind me of? About the immeasurable love of the Lord God for me and about the correspondence of love for Him and for my neighbor that must be on my part, that I should also lay down my life for my neighbors, that I should be merciful, share my wealth willingly with the poor, enlighten the ignorant, admonish the outrageous and erring, comfort the sad, fearlessly proclaim the truth to the rich and noble of the world and everyone in general, the day baked and a night about the salvation of neighbors, turning them away from worldly addictions and from all passions - covetousness, envy, pride, enmity, laziness, negligence, unbelief, frivolity, freethinking - in general, he lived not for himself, but for his neighbors. This is what he reminds me of, and if I wear the Crucified One on my forehead in a shining form, I will especially have to wear Him in my heart and lay down my soul for my friends. My brothers, who are recklessly killing precious time in card games, etc., what awaits you after spending such frivolous time? What eternity? I thank the Lady Theotokos, for I soon heard my prayer, brought to Her on the occasion of insomnia, and gave me peace of mind and a quick and easy sleep (Undefiled, Unblest... Stretch out your hand... Do not trust me...) I thank the Lord, for on the highly solemn day of April 17 he gave me the gift of cheerfully and firmly speaking to the royal persons and the prayer behind the pulpit. April 19, 1868. I thank Thee, Lord my God, for Thou didst not disgrace the prayers of faith of Thy unworthy servant, Thy servant, Thy priest, who prayed to Thee for the expulsion of unclean spirits from Thy servant Peter, for his addiction to wine, whom You betrayed to the deceit of these evil and unclean demons, and also for his unrepentant life, for he was not more than one year at confession and communion. I thank You, for the demons from calling on Your great and glorious and terrible name, like smoke, have disappeared, and Your servant Peter tastes heavenly peace in his heart. They say: it’s not important to eat fasting food during Lent; it’s not about food; It’s not an important thing to wear expensive, beautiful clothes, go to the theater, to parties, to masquerades, to have magnificent, expensive dishes, furniture, an expensive carriage, dashing horses, to collect and save money, etc. But because of what does our heart turn away from God - the Source of Life, because of what do we lose eternal life? Is it not because of gluttony, or because of precious clothes, like the Evangelical rich man, or because of theaters and masquerades; because of which we become hard-hearted towards the poor and even towards our relatives - is it not because of our addiction to sweets, to the belly in general, to clothing, to expensive dishes, furniture, carriages, to reckless drivers, to money, etc. Is it possible to work for God and mammon, to be a friend of the world and a friend of God, to work for Christ and Belial? - Impossible. Why did Adam and Eve lose paradise and fall into sin and death? Is it not because of the food alone? Take a good look, delve into why we are careless about the salvation of our souls, which cost the Son of God so dearly, because of which we add sins to sins, we constantly fall into opposition to God, into a vain life - is it not because of an addiction to earthly things, and especially to earthly sweets? Because of what our hearts become coarse, because of what we become flesh and not spirit, perverting our moral nature - is it not because of addiction to food and drink and other earthly goods? After this, how can we say that eating meat during Lent is not important? This very thing that we say so is pride, vanity, disobedience to God and distance from Him. The evil one seeks out various pretexts for hostility and uses them. Because of his attachment to temporal things, the devil always creates enmity among us. Sin or its culprit, the devil, constantly deceives us in our hearts. When we walk and when we sit, when we are awake and asleep, when we talk and when we are silent, when we read or sing, especially if not heartily, when we eat and drink, at home and at a party, alone or with people; either he slanders his neighbor, especially an acquaintance or neighbor, a boss or a colleague or a subordinate, inspiring dislike and enmity towards him, then he seduces the eye and sensuality with the beauty of his face and lust, then he inspires malice or envy, then he irritates you against your neighbor, inciting him with crowding, fire and violence, then he weakens you with laziness, coldness, aversion from business, entrusted to us by rank and society. We must constantly pay attention to ourselves and fight, fight against sin. It is good to eat lean food on certain days: it is light, freeing the insides from excessive fatness and fumes, promotes clarity of mind and purity of heart, does not make you sleepy, and makes it possible to engage in mental work or prayer, reading the word of God after dinner. Fast food is heavy, clouds the head and heart, arouses lusts, and makes one sleepy. Vodka too. Just as I love society and look for people I like to talk to, so my sister Anna needs girlish company, and she needs to be satisfied with this from time to time. Grant, teach, affirm to preserve mutual love, for this is dearer than all, all the treasures of the world, and may Thy grace always be in my heart. Be wise above all, that is, manage to love your neighbor as yourself, and God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your thoughts (have God in all your thoughts); Do not be irritated because of anything earthly, do not harbor enmity towards your neighbor; show mercy, distribute your property to the poor, having the best property and abiding in heaven; have no predilection for anything earthly, consider everything as skillful 39, with the apostle [Phil. 3, 8 ], for litter, for smoke. We are all brothers, all members of Christ among ourselves, all sinners, weak and in need of mutual condescension. Remember that anger, irritation, pride and every sin are from the devil. God! I thank You, for through my prayer you have transformed the disturbances of passions into peace, just as you transformed a strong wind into silence at sea to the apostles [Matt. 8, 24 – 26]. God! Grant me to always surrender myself and my neighbors with all their untruths regarding me to You, Christ God, and never have malice, zeal, enmity towards each other, and always have peace in You. Being slandered, He did not slander each other; while suffering, he did not threaten, but handed it over to the Righteous Judge [1 Pet. 2, 23]. Brother Konstantin comes to us as if it were his own home, and sits down at the table as one of his own, without invitation, and has, of course, some right: he has been accustomed since his youth to be among his own people, to eat and drink with them. But don’t be angry with him and have kindness at heart. Do not be disturbed in spirit even when the mountains are transformed into the hearts of the sea [Russian: even if... the mountains move into the heart of the seas] [Ps. 45, 3]. And you are indignant and furious at your brother for cutting down healthy birch trees in the church garden. Strive for this in every possible way, so that there will be no leaven of sin in you, but may you be the whole village of one Spirit. Deny yourself, your old man, your carnal passions, thoughts, feelings, intentions, deeds: self-love, pride, rage, envy, laziness, rebellion. You feel sorry for the tree shadow - rest in the shadow of the wings of the Lord; It is a pity for the fragrance of wood that brings health to the body, but you keep in your heart the fragrance of love for God and your neighbor and do not be upset at the trees that deprive you of the fragrance. Evil done by thought, feeling, intention is, first of all, evil for the one who has it, therefore we must pity evil people: they are the most unfortunate people. If we are warriors, do we fight courageously? The enemy lulls Christians to sleep, plucks faith from the heart, and undermines respect for it. Takes up the word from the heart ah [Lk. 8, 12]. Take notice of yourself. By not pronouncing one word of prayer, the devil creates wounding and disturbance in the soul, therefore it is necessary to pronounce every word without fail. April 21, 1868. I thank You, Lord my God, for you have granted me this day the grace to loudly, with the strength of my heart, cheerfully perform the Divine Liturgy and the prayer service to the Mother of God after the early liturgy, and firmly pronounce the names of the reigning house. From the beginning of the service, the enemy of God and man irritated and confused, as if piercing the whole body with thorns, then, after fervent prayer, little by little he left. At the prayer service, he began to mention the Gospel of Matthew about the ten virgins in the words: give us of your oil [Matt. 25, 8] – not allowing to reprimand; I started again and read everything. He was courageous all the time! It's Sunday. April 21. God! I thank You, for You have vouchsafed me to carry out the successful marriage of Your servants John (Serebrennikov) and Maria (Krayushkina) in front of a large gathering of people. At first he began timidly, and then boldly; stumbled from demonic confusion in words: and betroth Rebekah through the intercession of water-bearing opening, and also in prayer before the wedding: Lord our God, in Thy saving gaze I was made worthy of Galilee in Cana, and I don’t know why the enemy’s doubt came over me, that I cannot say in Thy saving gaze. Then I read this prayer to myself several times. Isn't it better to say it well once? Some lazy people said that I was taking a long time to get married and that many were leaving the church - the Shakhovs, the young helipads of the Murashovs (children of Alexander Murashov). You can't put everyone in the same mood. And there is no need to be annoyed. Before the wedding there was great embarrassment - temptation from the enemy. The groom thanked him several times for the kind wedding. Before the wedding dinner, the Lord helped to read the Lord's Prayer - Our Father - loudly, slowly, undisturbed, to the end, although the enemy was disgusted, but I will remain silent. With You, Lord, everywhere is good for me, everywhere I will be a winner. Just add hope to hope for me. Do not please people who want the service to go quickly: serve slowly, with feeling and do not look at the grumbling, enduring it with a sense of independence. The Lady Theotokos also hears those who pray in the heart and with the lips, just like the Lord God, for there is one Spirit with Him. The same goes for holy Angels and holy men. When you walk around gloomy, gloomy, quarreling over something with those living with you, then the devil’s action occurs in you; Realize that this is so, and remove it from your heart and love everyone as yourself. Most often, the enemy speaks in his heart against his brother: he or she spends his days idly, and meanwhile eats and drinks - don’t believe him, this is only a pretext for enmity against your neighbor, in fact, he has long bound you with an addiction to earthly things, extreme pride, pride, envy, malice, stinginess, and you are the worst sinner of all, you are the first parasite, for you do not follow the commandments of the Lord yours. Or you meet beggars who ask you for alms every day, the enemy encourages you to look down on them, speak sternly in your hearts, rudely, reproach them, suggests that they are parasites and do not want to work. Resist him and do not despise any of these little ones, look at them and speak to them kindly, with sympathy at all times, show sincere love and genuine respect for them, as for members of Christ; if they have weaknesses, remember your weaknesses and indulge them. When you sit at the table for dinner or tea with strangers or family, always have kindness of heart, talking affectionately with those sitting, and reject gloominess and painfully sinful oppression of the heart, not allowing your heart to feel sorry for anything created in the image and likeness of God; rejoice in those who walk and drink to the glory of God, as the Lord rejoices, seeing the gifts of His goodness and bounty not idle, but serving for the nourishment and enjoyment of His rational and unreasonable creatures; do not become like the evil demon who tells you to use the gifts of God only to you and not to give them to your neighbor. This pride, this malice, envy, stinginess is from the devil. Sinned before God and before my brother Father Matthew by telling him during the all-night service why he cut down the trees in his garden? I should have remained silent, especially in church, but I, instigated by my earthly addiction and the enemy of man, as I felt, not quite modestly told him about this, and upset and agitated both myself and him. Have mercy on him and me, Lord, and let him go - I don’t know what he’s doing. The fruits of passions are bitter: from them comes anger, envy, pride; when we eat and drink sweetly, we consider it some kind of gain, but in fact, sweet eating and drinking wine is the greatest loss for the soul, just like collecting money with passion, rich clothing, a rich home, etc. We consider it an gain, but for the soul this is a great loss. This is confirmed by both experience and the Gospel (see the parable of the rich man and Lazarus [Luke 16, 19 – 31], etc.). Where do you get the hostility from? feuds? Is it not from here, from your lusts that war in your members? [James. 4, 1]. The trouble is from an addiction to sweets: when a neighbor begins to take our sweets, and one becomes sorry, and the heart shrinks, and the neighbor becomes unkind, and the face becomes gloomy and sad, and speech does not come out of the mouth, as if someone is tying you in the soul. What a devilish spawn is greed for sweets! Such is the general addiction to earthly things! How it humiliates a person! What respect does a greedy person have for his neighbor - the hungry and the thirsty, the naked and the homeless? None: he respects delicacies, drinks, they are his soul, his deity! Oh, how greed degrades a person! She turns him into a beast, a demon himself! And that’s how I am, damned one, I often am. Oh, what a wise and at the same time simple science of life. Wise and simple, I say, because it consists of only one saying: love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 19, 19 ]; simple because it requires simplicity of heart in all behavior: if your eye is pure, then your whole body will be bright [Matt. 6, 22]. The body means all life, all behavior. For example, if you love a sweet piece, a pleasant drink, you do not regret it for yourself—never spare it for your neighbor, no matter who he is, for God has given His gifts to everyone equally. Love for one's neighbor is found in small things: in willingly sharing with him a tasty morsel, a pleasant drink, in willingly giving alms, in dressing the naked, in visiting the sick, in prison, in consoling the sad, in answering letters from neighbors, in crying with those who weep, in rejoicing with those who rejoice [Rom. 12, 15], in seeing off those who need it, etc. Blessed is the one who always does all this and the like with a simple heart and willingly. But, alas, our simple-heartedness is suppressed and destroyed by our addictions to temporary things: food, clothing, money, shiny things, etc. Who will deliver me from this body of death? [Rom. 7, 24]. Who will kill the carnal wisdom in me? Who will show me above worldly merging? Who will elevate from earthly to heavenly love? Who will put earthly and material wisdom to sleep in me? It is necessary to humble our souls by fasting, with simple food, stingy and austere, simple and rough clothing, a simple but not extensive dwelling, little sleep, long vigils in prayer, willing service to everyone, remembrance of death, the Last Judgment and eternal torment, frequent reading of the Gospel, reflection on the humiliation of our Son of God for the sake of salvation, on His suffering and death for us, about the granting of resurrection and incorruptibility and deification to us, about a new heaven and a new earth, where the old earth and everything that was previously earthly will not have the slightest place, for everything corruptible, elemental will be consumed. Sated physically, we are also satiated spiritually: we know and read a lot, but we do very little. A greedy person, stingy for others, usually eats a lot himself and becomes satiated and overeats, and through this he himself falls into great misfortunes, and most importantly, he is exposed to the wrath of God, for if anyone corrupts the church of God, the church of his body, God will corrupt it [1 Cor. 3, 17 ]; and it is also said: that day will come upon you suddenly [Lk. 21, 34]. Military commanders, teaching soldiers the correct tactics, focus all their attention on the soldiers during their training and listen to themselves and do not pay attention to the outside crowd, as if it were not there, giving orders to the soldiers in a firm voice. This is how clergy should behave during public prayer, for worship is Christian teaching, and the church is a heavenly school; they must completely focus their mind and heart on the divine service or Sacrament they are performing, saying all prayers and exclamations with a firm voice and walking with a firm foot, and not pay worldly, biased attention to those standing in the church, not be weary of people, not have a slavish fear, but do their work attentively, sincerely, courageously, firmly, without the slightest distraction from extraneous objects. For by performing divine services in this way, we glorify God and bring great spiritual benefit to people - and they learn, just like us, to believe in God and glorify Him. With great reverence one must pronounce not only the name of God, but the name of the Mother of God, the names of Archangels and warriors, patriarchs, prophets, kings, apostles, evangelists, martyrs, saints and all saints, for they are fragrances to God, holy things of God. I thank the Lord for the reconciliation of Father Matthew with me and for his kind thoughts, for his good disposition, for I believe that this was the fruit of my prayer, just as he was angry and irreconcilable before! God! Grant me the grace not to be bound by worldly lusts and pleasures and to consider every neighbor who lives and eats with me as Thy member, and to consider food and drink as Thy gifts to all people (which we freely receive from Thy goodness), and not as my property, and not to spare anything for anyone. Grant me to always have You in my heart and consider my neighbor as my heart [Phil. 1, 12]. Sin is the death of soul and body, the perversion of God's wise, beautiful order into disorder, the deprivation of fragrant shrines and the provision of disgusting abomination. I sinned greatly today (April 25, Thursday) before the Lord by giving alms to the poor with annoyance and displeasure, like dogs. How, the members of Christ, do I so despise Christ Himself in the person of the poor? Oh, what am I worthy of? What if all this is measured to me, according to the Scripture: With the measure you use, it will be measured to you [Matt. 7.2]. The same faces, say, asking you for alms every day, are boring. But aren’t you the same one, constantly asking for alms from God, and is God tired of you? No: he is amused by the fact that you turn to Him every day and more than once with prayer, and gives generously and quickly. - You imitate God. You, O priest, must daily ascend from strength to strength, succeed more and more in faith, hope, love, in moving away from earthly things, in striving for things above, in mortifying carnal wisdom, in reviving and improving the spiritual. Meanwhile, you work every day for so much time with the same passions, in sins you waste the time given to you by God for your correction, advancement in virtues and the salvation of your soul and the souls of men. April 25. Thank You, Most Merciful Lord! for hearing the prayer of my repentance, when I went to the merchant wall on the pilot ship and on the steamer "Lion" to serve a prayer service on the occasion of the opening of the voyage, and, having forgiven the sin of my heart (greed for food and drink, pity for my brother, satiety), You granted me peace, boldness and strength from the heart to pray with Your people. All the way I prayed internally, and before at home I prayed for mercy. My soul was cramped and sad. The theft of a beggar in a church house is God's permission for the temptation of our almsgiving: whether it is sincere and constant or not. What happened? Everyone rebelled against the beggars, everyone screamed about them: thieves, swindlers, parasites! And I, who previously gave a lot, now reluctantly give them a lot: they are disgusted, tired. Are all beggars to blame? Is it possible to deprive everyone because of one thing? Isn’t it the same Christ who accepts our alms through the poor? Look at your brother who comes as a member of Christ and do not dare to hate and despise him for his impudence, leaving all judgment to God, and pray for the one who has offended you, nurturing brotherly love for him in your heart. Look at yourself, how you are sick with gluttony, how your womb controls you and the devil is in your belly; how for the sake of the belly, for the sake of food and drink, you harbor hatred for your brother and gravely sin before God, violating His entire law in one moment, for the whole law is in one word: love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 22, 39], means a violation of the entire law in hatred of the heart. Let him eat and drink, as long as he doesn’t take it with him, because he is one of his own; If you give alms to others, show mercy to yourself even more. According to the commandment of the Savior, love him whom you hate [Matt. 5, 44; OK. 6, 27 – 28, 35 ], love for the sake of Christ and for the sake of the fact that he is in the image of God, that he is a member of Him, even if he is unworthy of love and filled with many evils; Thank the Lord for the fact that you have to feed and drink those whom you would not want, and that through this your will is crucified. For what is your reward for doing only your own will in good deeds? You perform according to your own considerations and calculations. Do the will of God, do what your old man does not want, what he strongly opposes - for example, give alms to someone whom you would not want, feed and drink willingly in your home someone whom you would not want for any reason (namely brother Constantine), even if he laughed at you and despised you, for the Lord also fed Judas the traitor, even though he, having the means, never rewarded you for your goodness, for Christian love does not seek reward for its sacrifice, does not seek its own [1 Cor. 13:5], joyfully lays down his life for his friends [Jn. 15, 13]. Conquer yourself. God! I thank You, for You gave me fervent prayer during the all-night vigil on April 28 (Sunday, the Sunday of the Samaritan), for You took away my sins, granted me peace, tranquility, space, tenderness, joy. But forgive me my internal fall in my home, that is, my anger towards my brother, and reconcile me with him sincerely, firmly, irrevocably. If he offends me in any way by depriving me of something from earthly sweets, grant me to endure and complacently endure the deprivation of the sweets to which I am partial, which I must despise and crucify within myself, and lavish willingly on those who come. Teach, establish, Lord! Thank You for the lessons you send (my brother’s visits to eat and drink). God! Have mercy on me, for I have offended Your goodness, Your bounties, with my hatred and my stinginess; by my addiction to earthly goods, I have grieved Your Holy Spirit, as well as by my malice. Oh, how disgusting and hateful to the Lord is our addiction, our greed for earthly sweets, which produces complete oblivion of the heavenly, spiritual sweets prepared for those who love God and each other, and turns away from love for God and neighbor! But we constantly cling to earthly sweets and because of them we hate our brother when he consumes them without our desire! Will not the Lord reward us a hundredfold for mutual love both here and especially in the next century [Mk. 10, 30 ]? And have we ever become poor in feeding our brethren? How many years have you lived in the world, have you ever become poor in feeding your neighbors? Never. O you of little faith! How the addiction to the temporary torments us! But we still don’t understand enough to give up this addiction. What a shame to the face, what hell on earth from these addictions, what darkness, stupidity - and yet we still accept the same things! Everything earthly is the same as zero (0), nothing; every good and infinite good for us is the Lord. We must remember this constantly and not be seduced by anything earthly, but love God and our neighbor - His image, and remember the close connection between God and man. The wisdom of the devil consists in deceiving us with earthly things and nailing us to earthly things, and Christian wisdom should consist in despising everything earthly and appreciating heavenly things, clinging to heavenly blessings. So, the Mother of God and all the saints on earth were above everything earthly, above the addiction of all goods - they did not occupy them, did not seduce them. I am truly worthless when I look at myself impartially, for I have been subject to many senseless passions for a long time. The goodness of God also preserves me in my life so that I can improve. I am still the same, subject to the same passions as in my youth: lust, pride, greed, stinginess, anger, envy, satiety, love of money, covetousness. Who was to blame for my sister's laughter yesterday? Her or you? You gave the reason by sulking at your brother: why does he come to eat and drink without asking? It is difficult for a funny person not to laugh - such is the essence of the funny. Suffering so much in soul from addiction to food and drink, aroused by the enemy-tempter, let us always remember the temptation by Satan of our Lord Jesus Christ in the desert, when He was hungry: command that these stones become bread [Matt. 4, 3]. Oh, if only we knew how to defeat the enemy, like our Lord and mentor Jesus Christ! Oh, if we despised the many different foods and drinks and trusted in God and loved Him above all else and loved our neighbor as ourselves, not sparing him any sweetness, as well as ourselves! And now sweets are our gods, we place our whole lives in them, we turn our love to them, and not to God. Let us learn from the hero of Christ God, and read more often about His temptation in the desert! Let us follow His entire life and imitate it. I have given you an example [Jn. 13, 15], He says. The essence of Christianity is faith, hope, love, humility, meekness, peace, long-suffering, mercy, abstinence, purity, simplicity, obedience, self-sacrifice. Satan does his work in us systematically, intelligently, ceaselessly, energetically. Why are we dozing? My brother Konstantin meekly endures my hostile treatment of him. Save him, Lord! Forgive my sins against him. I thank the Lord, who strengthened me to perform the liturgy and partake of the Divine Mysteries without judgment and condemnation. Woe is it for me to remain without the Holy Mysteries for a long time (five or six days), without them I become the home of smart pigs 40, I weaken in spirit and body, I become unhealthy. With them I come to life, become stronger, and become younger. It is good to work for the Lord - to serve daily services and perform the Sacraments: Baptism, Marriage, Blessing of Unction, farewell to the sick; the soul is cleansed. I thank the Lord, who has given me the grace to perform the Sacrament of Marriage without stumbling (Sunday, April 28). You give alms to the poor sparingly: are you saving money for fornication, so that you can feast on food and dress luxuriously? Why do I forget my promise: not to eat meat and black bread with evening tea? O man, the worst of animals, devoted to greed! Don't you see that you can't sleep at night because you ate black bread and meat before going to bed? You should leave the meat altogether, because it gives you a strong erection. With your gluttony, you cannot write letters or compose sermons, but look, you will completely drown out the grace of God in yourself if you do not stop gluttony. Is this what a priest should do, who must live heavenly on earth, for here too he is still honored with angelic service? The longer we live in this world, the less food we need, especially clergymen - why do we violate our nature by eating too much? Grant me, Lord, to have self-sacrifice for the sake of the poor. God! I committed a great sin before You this day: I laughed and could not stop laughing because of the laughter of the holy fool and my sexton during Vespers (Monday, April 29), - and all because of gluttony and satiety, for before Vespers I ate cabbage soup with black bread, drank tea, ate several meats, eating for several hours in two and a half hours. The enemy conveniently overpowered my heart and weakened it through gluttony. This is what I felt. If I had armed myself with fasting, I would have strengthened myself against the demon of laughter and would have maintained reverence in the holy church before the face of God, the Mother of God, the holy Angels and saints. Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me. If your heart is angry at those who come to visit and eat and drink tea, or at the beggars asking for alms, know that it is your belly that is angry, or the demon of gluttony and lust, and understand what needs to be done. Despise the flesh, it passes away, but be diligent about the soul, things that are more immortal. Despise the womb and respect the immortal soul, walking in the shell of flesh and doomed in this world to various bodily deprivations, for the sake of humility, testing, purification, for the sake of exercising patience. Trembling of My words [Isa. 66, 2]. What words? – God, Lord, Hosts, Jesus, or Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Holy Trinity! Lord our God! – Also the words of all church prayers and especially the Holy Scriptures. This day has sinned before God: I said to the beggar with a heart: get away! (He asked for a shirt, but I only gave 2 kopecks.) Is this what a disciple and servant of Jesus Christ should do? Where is meekness, where is mercy? Where is the service of the brethren? The altar is heaven, for here is the throne of God, from which the Son of God speaks; it is also Golgotha, for behind the throne there is a cross with the Crucified Lord, and the throne itself can be called Golgotha, for the Life-giving Cross always reclines on it. The place occupied by the Church is an earthly village, or a sheepfold, because the verbal sheep stand in it. The iconostasis is like the sky. A Christian view of theater and actors. They are of the world, therefore they speak in the worldly language, and the world listens to them [1 John. 4, 5]. Why are very few people attending church services? We are from God; He who knows God listens to us; He who is not from God does not listen to us. By this we recognize the spirit of truth and the spirit of error [glory: the spirit of flattery\ [1 John. 4.6]. This means that a flattering spirit operates in the theater and in the actors. What is most of the drama? - the action of passions. And who is the culprit of passions? - Devil. Who is the main character in the drama of real life and, of course, in theatrical drama? - Devil. You're funny. - But it's true. The inexorable logic of facts confirms this. So, theater lovers sacrifice their leisure time, their money, their souls and bodies as a sacrifice to Satan. Why do we serve the creature more than the Creator or even one creature - people, flesh, belly, food and drink, silver and gold, sometimes we make an idol out of ourselves, for ourselves and for others, removing our sinful, stinking body with extreme whimsicality; Why do we pay exclusive attention to clothing and not care about the soul, about its incorruptible garment? Alas! I still do not have simplicity of heart. Seeing the good guests at my table and my brothers, I should have looked at everyone as members, as children of God, and at the food and drink as God’s pasture - not mine, but I look at them as strangers, and at the food and drink as my property! I would have to connect my soul with the guests through heartfelt love, but I connect with the food. I am a damned man! I should calmly, joyfully wait and squander my property on the needs of my neighbors, but I am embarrassed, grieved, upset and embittered when I see frequent guests at my table or beggars who often come up to ask for alms. This shows an addiction to earthly acquisitions, to earthly life and the absence of the spirit of Christ, the spirit of love for everyone. I am a damned man! Our flesh is full and satiated, clothed, warm, and everything goes berserk when it sees that its neighbors are taking its earthly goods, when guests often go to eat and drink, when beggars often come up for alms and ask for food, clothing, for lodging or overnight accommodation in an apartment! Blind, damned, evil flesh! When I come to visit someone, I want them to treat me willingly, generously, with the best food, but I myself often treat them reluctantly, sparingly, serving the worst, and keeping the best for myself. Oh, wickedness! Oh, malice! God! strengthen me to seek heavenly treasures, not earthly ones! The visible is perishable, temporary, but the invisible, heavenly is imperishable, eternal. The Holy Church daily prays to the Lord for mercy and the granting of various benefits to people and thereby confesses Him as Judge and Savior, as Creator and Provider in spite of the adulterous and sinful world, which forgets that there is God - Savior and Judge, Creator and Provider, and thinks that we are born and live by chance. Serebrennikov stood calmly in the church during the marriage, although he did not expect this before, he himself considers this to be something extraordinary. Consider this with the calm standing of Christian believers in church during divine services in the case when the primate is fervently praying. The priest is a single fighter for everyone, opposing forces turn against him, it is often very difficult for him, but if he endures this struggle, he brings peace of mind and the grace of God to very many who are in the church. For whom do we stand before the throne of the majesty of God? - For myself and for you, brothers. Honor us especially with love for our work [1 Thess. 5, 13], pray for us yourself. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [Matt. 5, 6]. Blessed are those who feel spiritual hunger and spiritual thirst, who have hunger and thirst for the grace of God. How passions burn us! How the hunger of sin languishes! The soul melts away from sins. Oh, with what hunger and thirst the pious eat the Body of Christ and drink His Blood! When I serve in church or before the people outside it, the enemy confuses me, fights me with dreamy fear; when I sit down at the table or sit at the table with strangers, he overcomes me with embarrassment, fear, suspiciousness, and stinging for food (from sincere prayer at the table, all this disappears). When you meet beggars, often begging for alms, you are again embarrassed by your bitterness towards them and your stinging of money. Incessant anger! How to get rid of it? By simple-hearted giving to those who demand or impartiality to earthly acquisitions and sincerely to all love, as to the image and likeness of God and to the members of Christ and our fellow members. The human body is a majestic church, built by the wise, holy, omnipotent, highest Artist - God; a church in which lives the immortal human soul, created in the image and likeness of God, which must pass through its earthly course with it, complete its preparatory course and, in preparation, enter heavenly citizenship. I saw the wanderer Nikita the Verigon-bearer, sleeping on the bare floor. He asked me for my blessing to read with glasses: he said, I can’t see anything. I attribute this to myself: I have eyes but do not see, I read but do not do them, the eyes of my heart are darkened. We must ask for enlightened searches of the heart. I asked the little Psalter, although he has it. This is again a lesson for me: read the Psalter more often (May 1, 1868). I invited him to my place, but he said that our house was very big. Every minute, every moment, I need to be united with God through faith, thought of God, hope, and love. And how sweet it is to always be in God! How often have I experienced the bliss of worship! In order to have communication with God, you need to exhaust your flesh - this is a nest of many and different passions: you need to wash in the bathhouse less often, eat and drink less, sleep less, stand in prayer more often, read the Gospel, the Psalter, the writings of the holy fathers, and in general have constant spiritual sobriety. After a bath and sleep, especially the tightness in me increases, temptations befall me. Eating tasty food, or even not tasty food, but in immoderate quantities increases spiritual adversity. Today (May 1), during mass, I was exposed to great danger from invisible evil spirits - they pressed me internally, confused me, did not allow me to speak words freely; at the cry - For You ecu the resurrection of Your servant Michael, he faltered, at the great entrance he became confused when listing the names of the reigning family, and just before the entrance he was greatly irritated by evil spirits; he called on the Holy Spirit vaguely, could not pronounce prayers as he should; blessed the Gifts quite well, then things went quite well; during communion, the evil one confused him and made him angry with the deacon and the guard; then he finished well. After consuming the Holy Gifts, he completely calmed down, came to life, and rejoiced. Glory to Your Holy Mysteries! This disaster happened after the bath, after braiding my hair. In the bathhouse, it’s as if we are stripped of God’s grace. I need to eat lean food. At the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord, when the discovery of the Cross of the Lord, buried and lying in the ground for three centuries, is celebrated, say a word about the discovery and erection by the Lord of His image, that is, the human soul, buried by passions in the ground. Be wise above all, that is, love your enemies and those who cause unpleasantness to your flesh, crucify your passions, for example, stinginess and stinging of sweet foods and drinks, coming to you to eat and drink against your desire, your anger and envy awakening in your heart regarding such people. Force yourself to love such people sincerely. Let there not be a single movement of malice, envy, stinginess, or greed in your heart towards any person: everything is God’s and everything is God’s. Gregory (Postnikov; 1784 – 1860), Metropolitan of Novgorod and St. Petersburg. In 1814 he graduated from the St. Petersburg Theological Academy, where one of his mentors was St. Philaret (Drozdov), who had a great influence on him. Since 1819 - rector and ordinary professor of the St. Petersburg Academy; maintained strict order at the Academy, improved educational programs, and improved the financial situation of students; taught theological sciences, Holy Scripture, and participated in the translation of Holy Scripture into Russian. His lectures were distributed in printed and handwritten form to many religious educational institutions. The works of Metropolitan Gregory laid the foundation for official spiritual journalism in Russia: in 1821 he founded one of the first spiritual magazines in the country, Christian Reading; in 1855, the Orthodox Interlocutor magazine began publishing in Kazan; in 1857, the Spiritual Conversation magazine, intended for the laity, was founded. In 1822 he was consecrated Bishop of Revel, vicar of the St. Petersburg diocese. In 1825 he was appointed to the Kaluga See, where he began to actively engage in missionary activities among the Old Believers. In 1832 he headed the celebration of the discovery of the relics of St. Mitrophan of Voronezh. In 1848 he was appointed Archbishop of Kazan and Sviyazhsk. He paid special attention to missionary activity, took care of strengthening the common faith, and headed a committee to translate liturgical books into the Tatar language. At his insistence, missionary departments were opened at Theological Academies and Seminaries in St. Petersburg, Moscow, Kazan, and Kyiv. Bishop Gregory was a major specialist in the history of the Old Believers. His book “The Truly Ancient and Truly Orthodox Church of Christ” (1854) was published four times during the saint’s lifetime. In 1856 he was elevated to the rank of metropolitan and transferred to the St. Petersburg See, from which time he was a first-present member of the Synod. Metropolitan Gregory was a tireless preacher; he preached at every service, addressing the listeners with simple, brief, but succinct instructions. Metropolitan Gregory was a member of the St. Petersburg Academy of Sciences (since 1821), an honorary member of the department of Russian language and literature (since 1841) and the general meeting of the Academy of Sciences (since 1856). He led a strict ascetic lifestyle and was distinguished by generous charity. He was buried in the Holy Spiritual Church of the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. A jack is a mechanism for lifting heavy objects to a small height. Insolent (Church Glav.) – disrespectful, impudent, insolent. Umety (Church Slavic) – droppings, litter. That is, evil spirits, demons. You might be interested in: