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Tombstone of Gorgonia, sister of St. Gregory of Nazianzus
Praising my sister, I will praise my own. However, one cannot recognize this as false solely because it is its own. On the contrary, since it is true, it is therefore praiseworthy; and it is true not only because it is fair, but also because it is known. I can’t speak out of bias, even if I wanted to; my judge will be a listener who knows how to compare words with truth, and if he is fair, then just as he will not approve of undeserved praise, he will demand deserved ones. Therefore, I am not afraid that I will say beyond the truth, but on the contrary, that I will not express the truth and, far from achieving the dignity of the subject, with my praises I will reduce the glory of my sister, for with her virtues it is difficult to make the word equal to the deeds. Just as one should not praise everything that belongs to others if it is unjust, so one should not humiliate one’s own if it is worthy of respect; so that the former does not benefit from the fact that it is someone else’s, and the latter does not benefit from the fact that it is one’s own. For the law of justice is violated in both cases - both when they praise only someone else’s, and when they remain silent about their own.
But having accepted for myself one truth as my goal and rule, and having it only in mind, and not caring about everything else that is important for simple and low people, I will praise or pass over in silence what is worthy of praise or silence. If we do not consider taking away something from one’s own, slandering, accusing him or inflicting another greater or lesser insult on him as an honorable deed, but on the contrary, we recognize every crime against a relative as the most serious, then it would be most incongruous to think that we would act justly by depriving one of our own of the word with which we are especially obliged to serve good people and through which we can give them an immortal memory. It is also inappropriate to pay more attention to the opinions of ill-intentioned people who can accuse of bias, rather than to the opinion of well-intentioned people who demand what is due.
If the fact that their deeds are unknown and not attested does not prevent us from praising strangers (even though this could be a fair obstacle), then will our love and envy of others prevent us from praising those we know, especially those who have already moved away from us, to whom it is already too late to flatter; because they left, like everything else, both praisers and blamers.
But since I have sufficiently defended myself and proven that the real word is necessary for me, I will now proceed to the praise itself and will not worry about the decoration and grace of the style (for even the one whom I want to praise did not like decorations, but put beauty in not having embellishments), but I will pay decent honor to the deceased, as the most necessary duty, and together I will try to teach others to emulate and imitate her virtues. For our goal in every word and deed is to lead to the perfection of those who are entrusted to us. So, let another, observing the rules of praiseworthy words, praise the fatherland and family of the deceased, and indeed a lot of beautiful things can be said to him if he wants to decorate it from the outside, just as an expensive beautiful picture is removed with gold, stones and such decorations of art and skillful hand, which by adding to it reveal a bad picture even more, but do not add beauty to a beautiful picture, being lower than it.
And I will fulfill the law of a praiseworthy word in the only way that I will mention our common parents (for, speaking about such a treasure, it would be unfair to remain silent about parents and teachers). Then I will immediately turn the floor to her herself and will not tire of waiting for those who want to hear about her affairs.
Who does not know our new Abraham and our times Sarah? This is what I call Gregory and Nonna, his wife (for it is useful not to leave in oblivion those names that inspire virtue). One of them was justified by faith, the other lived in marriage with a faithful one? One, beyond hope, became the father of many nations, the other gives birth spiritually; one avoided serving the domestic gods, the other was the daughter and mother of the free; one migrated from his family and home to the promised land, the other was the cause of the migration, and in this alone (I dare say) she became superior to Sarah herself; one traveled beautifully, the other willingly accompanied him; one cleaves to the Lord, the other honors and calls her husband her master, and is partly justified for this. They have been given vows, they, as far as it depends on themselves, have their own Isaac and gift. After prayers and under the guidance of his wife, he became a good shepherd, and she set an example of a good flock. He sincerely fled from the idols, and then he himself puts the demons to flight; she never even ate salt with the idolaters.
Their marriage is equal, in agreement and unanimously, and not so much a carnal union as a union of virtue and unity with God; both in years and gray hairs, and in prudence and the glory of deeds, they are zealous for each other and exceed everyone else. They are little connected in flesh and spirit, even before separation from the body, they were resettled from here; not theirs - this world, despised; but theirs is the preferred world; their impoverishment and their enrichment with a good purchase, as those who despise what is here and redeem what is there. The rest of their present life is short, and little remains to complete their piety; but great and long is the life in which they labored. I will add one more thing to what has been said about them: it is good and fair that they did not belong to the same sex; for one was an adornment for husbands, the other for wives, and not only an adornment, but also a model of virtue.
From them Gorgonia received existence and glory; hence the seeds of piety in her; from them her good life and peaceful departure with saving hopes. Of course, this is already wonderful and is not always the lot of those who boast a lot about their nobility and are proud of their ancestors. But if we should talk about Gorgonia with greater wisdom and loftiness, then her fatherland is the heavenly Jerusalem, not a visible, but an intelligible city, where we have been granted citizenship, where we are hastening, where the citizen is Christ, and the fellow citizens are the entire triumphant host and the Church of the firstborn, around this great City-Builder celebrating in the contemplation of glory and rejoicing incessantly jubilation. And its nobility is observance of the image of God, likeness to the Prototype, accomplished by intelligence and virtue, and pure desire, which continually transforms us more and more according to God into true seers of the heavenly, knowing where we come from, what we are, and why we were created.
So I understand; and therefore I know and say that the soul of Gorgonia is one of the noblest under the sun; and my standard, my level of nobility and artlessness is better than that of the mob; I distinguish this not by blood, but by morals; about those who are praised or condemned, not according to their types, but according to the properties of each.
Now a word about her virtues; Let everyone bring something of their own and help the word, because it is impossible for one person to grasp everything, no matter how extensive his mind and the information he has collected. She was distinguished by her chastity and surpassed in it all the wives of her time, not to mention those who were respected for their chastity in ancient times. And how two states are possible in life - marriage and chastity, and one is higher and more godlike, but more difficult and dangerous, and the other is lower, but safer; she, having eliminated the disadvantages of both, chose and combined together everything that was best in both, that is, the height of chastity and the security of marriage.
She was chaste without pride, combining the virtues of chastity with marriage and thus showing that neither chastity nor matrimony unites or separates us completely with God or with the world, so that one in itself, on the contrary, the mind should be a good ruler, and was worthy of disgust, and the other - unconditional praise: in marriage and in chastity, and from them, as from some substance, skillfully processed and create virtue. For she did not separate herself from the Spirit because she was united with the flesh, and did not forget about the first Chapter because she recognized her husband as the head, but having served the world and nature in a little way, and as much as was required by the law of the flesh, or, better to say, by the One who gave such a law to the flesh, she devoted herself entirely to God. But what is especially good and worthy of respect in her is that she won over her husband to her side, and had in him not an obstinate master, but a good colleague.
Not only that, she made the fruit of the body themselves, that is, her children and grandchildren, the fruit of the spirit; for she purified the entire clan and the entire family, as a single soul, and acquired it for God, and by pleasing her married life and the wonderful consequences of such behavior, she made the marriage itself commendable; throughout her life she served as an example of all that is good for the children, and when she was recalled from here, she left behind her will to her family as a silent instruction. Divine Solomon in the book of childhood wisdom, that is, in Proverbs (Proverbs 31), praises a wife for staying at home and loving her husband; and the wife who wanders outside the home, is intemperate, dishonest, with the appearance and tongue of a harlot “catches up the honest” (Proverbs 6:26), contrasts with the wife who diligently does household work, is tireless in women’s affairs, “stretches out her hands to the spinning wheel, prepares double garments” for her husband, buys “field” in good time, feeds the servants well, treats her friends to a rich table and fulfills everything else that Solomon praised in a chaste and hardworking wife.
But if I began to praise my sister for such qualities; then this would mean praising a statue by its shadow, or a lion by its claws, without paying attention to what is most important and most perfect. Which woman was more worth being seen than her and, however, was shown less often and was more inaccessible to male gaze? Which woman knew better than she the measure of severity and cheerfulness in treatment? In her, severity did not seem gloomy and courtesy did not seem like freedom, but in one there was visible prudence, in the other meekness. And this, combined with affection and majesty, constituted the rule of decency.
Let those women who are devoted to vanity, absent-mindedness and do not like the veil of shame heed this! Which woman has such chaste eyes? Did she ridicule laughter to such an extent that she considered the inclination to smile to be an important matter for herself? Which woman closed her ears more tightly and opened them more willingly to the word of God? Even more: which of the women has subordinated the tongue to the dominion of the mind in such a way as to broadcast the justifications of God, and has established such a strict order with the lips? I will say, if you like, about this perfection of hers, which she did not consider important, like all truly chaste and well-behaved women; although women were forced to consider this important because they were too partial to decorations and finery and were not taught by the words of those who teach such virtues.
She was adorned not by gold, trimmed by a skilful hand to the point of an overabundance of beauty, not by golden hair, shiny and luminous, not by curls curling in rings, not by the dishonest tricks of those who make a kind of tent out of an honest head, not by the great value of lush and transparent clothing, not by the brilliance and pleasantness of precious stones that color the near air and illuminate faces, not by the cunning and charm of painters, not by purchased beauty, not the hand of an earthly artist, which acts contrary to the Creator and covers God’s creation with deceptive colors and disgraces with its honor, instead of the image of God, exposes to the lustful eyes the idol of a harlot, in order to cover with counterfeit beauty the natural face, preserved for God and the next century. On the contrary, although she knew a lot of all kinds of external female jewelry, she did not find anything more precious than her morals and inner splendor.
She liked one blush - the blush of modesty, and one whiteness - that comes from abstinence; and she left rubbing and touching up, the art of making a living picture of herself, a conveniently washable beauty, to women who had destined themselves for spectacles and debauchery, for whom it is shameful and disgraceful to blush with shame.
That's how she behaved in this regard! But there is no word that could describe her prudence and piety, and there are few similar examples, except for her parents both in body and in spirit. Having them alone as a model for herself and not in the least inferior to them in virtue, in that only one, and moreover, quite willingly, she conceded that she borrowed this good from them, and recognized them internally and in front of everyone as the beginning of her enlightenment. What was more insightful than her mind? Not only relatives, fellow citizens and neighbors resorted to her advice, but also everyone who knew her in the surrounding area; and they considered her admonitions and instructions to be an inviolable law. What was more intricate than her speeches, what was more prudent than her silence? But since I mentioned silence, I will add that it is most characteristic of her, and more decent for women, and more useful for the present time. Which woman knew better than she that you can know about God, both from Holy Scripture and according to her own reason, being within her own limits of piety, spoke less than her?
And as for what is the duty of one who has known true piety, and in what alone is it beautiful, not to know saturation, then which of the women decorated churches with offerings like this? And other churches and this very church, I don’t know, do they still require decorations after her? Especially, which of the women built herself up into a living church to God? Which woman had such respect for the priests, and especially for her companion and teacher in piety, who has good seeds - two children dedicated to God? Which woman more diligently offered her own home to those who lived according to God and gave them such a wonderful and rich welcome and, more importantly, received them with such respect and reverence? Moreover, which woman showed such a dispassionate mind in times of misfortune and such a compassionate heart for those in need? Whose hand was more generous to those in need? And I will boldly turn the words of Job into praise for her: “her door was open to every passerby, and a stranger did not spend the night on the street” (Job.31:32); she was “eyes to the blind, feet to the lame” (Job 29:15) and a mother to the orphans.
Is it necessary to talk about her mercy towards widows, unless to say that the fruit of this was not to be called a widow? Her house was a common refuge for poor relatives, and all those in need used her property as if it were their own property. “Waste, give to the poor” (Ps. 111:9). And according to the immutable and unfaithful promise, she invested a lot in the heavenly granaries, many times and in the person of many who received benefits from her, she accepted Christ. But the best thing is that she did not try to force herself to think higher than what was proper, but perfectly cultivated piety in secret, before the Seer of secrets. And she stole everything from the ruler of the world, transferred everything to safe storage, and left nothing to the earth except the body. Exchanged everything for hopes in the future; She left one wealth to her children - imitation and zeal for the same virtues.
Such and so incredible was her generosity! However, trusting in her charity, she did not betray her body to luxury and unbridled voluptuousness, to this evil and tormenting dog; as happens with many who, by showing mercy to the poor, think to buy themselves the right to a luxurious life and do not heal evil with good, but instead of good they acquire evil.
It cannot be said about her that, although she enslaved the carnal in herself through fasting, she nevertheless provided treatment to others, prostrating herself on the earth; or, although she found in this a benefit for the soul, she nevertheless limited the amount of sleep less than anyone else; or, although she gave herself a law in this, as an incorporeal one, she nevertheless bowed down to the ground when others spent the whole night in an upright position (which feat is suitable mainly for wise men); or, although in this she turned out to be more courageous not only than wives, but also the most valiant husbands; however, as for the wise proclamation of psalmody, reading and explaining God's word, timely remembrance, bowing of the exhausted and as if rooted to the ground knees, tearful cleansing of spiritual filth in a contrite heart and humble spirit, prayer offered to the mountain, undistractedness and soaring of the mind, then any of the husbands or wives could boast of superiority over her in all this or in anything one.
On the contrary, no matter how high this is, it can still be rightly said about her that in some perfections she competed, and in others she was the subject of competition, she invented one, and admired others with strength, and if she had imitators in any one, she surpassed everyone because she combined all the perfections in herself. She succeeded in all of them as much as no one else succeeded in one, even mediocre. She brought each perfection to such a height that instead of all, one would have been enough. What disdain for the body and clothing, blooming with one virtue! What strength of the soul, supporting the body as if it were immaterial almost without food! Or better yet, how much patience there is in a body that has already been killed even before separation from the soul, so that the soul receives freedom and is not constrained by feelings! How many nights spent without sleep, psalmody and standing, lasting from one day to the next! Your songs, David, are short-lived only for the souls of believers! Where is the tenderness of the members, spread across the earth and, contrary to nature, hardened?
What sources of tears are sown in sorrow to reap joy! A night cry that penetrates the clouds and reaches the sky! The ardor of the spirit, which in its desire for prayer is not afraid of night dogs, frosts, rains, thunder, hail, or darkness! The nature of a wife, which defeated the nature of husbands in the general feat of salvation and showed that a wife is different from her husband not in her soul, but only in her body! Purity, as soon after baptism, and the soul unconquered by Christ in the pure bridal chamber - the body! And bitter taste, and Eve - the mother of the human race and sin, and the tempting serpent, and death - are defeated by her abstinence! And the exhaustion of Christ, and the image of a servant, and suffering are honored by her self-mortification! How can I either count all her virtues, or, by keeping silent about their greater number, deprive them of their benefit to those who do not know them?
But it’s time to continue the word about rewards for piety. For it seems to me that you, who know well about her virtues, have long wished and hoped to hear in my word not only about real rewards, not about those with which she is now enjoying herself there and which are beyond human understanding, inaccessible to either hearing or sight, but also about those with which the Righteous Rewarder rewarded even here: for He often does this for the edification of the unfaithful, assuring through the small of the great, and through visible in the invisible. I will speak both about what is known to everyone and about what is a mystery to many; for she, in her wisdom, did not boast of grace-filled gifts.
You know how one day the mules went mad and ran away with the chariot, how terribly it was overturned, pitifully dragged and broken, how as a result of this the unbelievers were tempted by the fact that the righteous were given over to such misfortunes, and how quickly unbelief was admonished. Gorgonia had all her bones and members, both hidden and open, crushed and damaged; but she did not want to have another doctor except the One who betrayed her to disaster, both because she was ashamed of the gaze and touch of men (for she maintained decency even in suffering), and because she sought protection only from the One who allowed her to endure such suffering. And indeed it was from Him, and not from anyone else, that she received salvation. Therefore, some were not so much amazed by her illness as they were amazed at her miraculous recovery and concluded from this that such a sad incident happened so that she could become glorified in her suffering.
Although she suffered as a person, she was nevertheless healed by a higher power, not a human one, and for posterity she left a legend that proves both her measure in suffering and patience in adversity, and even more of God’s love for people like her. For to what was said about the righteous: “When he falls, he will not be broken” (Ps. 36:24), as if now this is also added, although he will be broken, he will soon be restored and glorified. If her suffering was beyond probability, then the probability of a return to health was also greater; so that the illness was almost completely covered by recovery, and the healing became more obvious than the blow dealt to it. Such a disaster is quite worthy of praise and wonder! Such illness is higher than health! And the words: “he will wound, and heal, and heal,” and after three days he will resurrect (Hos. 6:2.3), indicating, as the event showed, something higher and more mysterious, are no less fitting for her suffering!
But this miracle is known to everyone, even those far away, rumors about it have spread everywhere; everywhere they talk and hear about this, as well as about other God’s miracles and powers. About that which is still unknown to many and which, as I said, is hidden by her wisdom and piety, alien to vanity and exaltation, will you, most excellent and most perfect of Shepherds, shepherd of this sacred sheep, command me to tell you? Will you give your permission for this too (for we alone have been entrusted with the secret, and only you and I are witnesses of the miracle)? Or will you still keep the word given to the deceased? But in my opinion, just as then there was a time to remain silent, so now is the time to tell, not only for the glory of God, but also for the consolation of those who mourn.
Gorgonia was possessed by a bodily illness and suffered greatly; the illness was unusual and strange: there was a sudden inflammation throughout the body, and there seemed to be excitement and boiling in the blood; then the blood froze and became numb, an incredible pallor appeared in the body, the mind and limbs weakened, and all this was repeated not after a long time, but sometimes almost incessantly. The disease did not seem human; Neither the art of the doctors helped, no matter how carefully they delved into the nature of the seizures, each separately, and all in joint meetings, nor the tears of the parents, no matter how strong they were often in many ways, nor public prayers, petitions made by the whole people with such zeal, as if everyone was praying for their own salvation; and indeed, her salvation was salvation for everyone, just as her suffering in illness was common suffering. What is this great and highly rewarded soul doing? What is the cure for the disease? For this is already the secret.
Having rejected all other methods, she resorts to the Doctor of all, and taking advantage of the darkness of the night, when her illness has somewhat eased, she falls with faith at the altar, loudly calling on the One Honored on it, calling Him by all names and remembering all His miracles that have ever happened (as she knew both the Old Testament and New Testament legends). Finally he dares to take some pious and beautiful boldness, imitates the woman who dried up the flow of blood by touching the hem of Christ’s robe; and what it does. Having laid her head to the altar with the same cry and the same abundant tears as the one who washed the feet of Christ from ancient times, she vows not to leave until she receives health; then, having anointed his entire body with this medicine of his invention, whatever his hand could gather from the whole image of the honest Body and Blood, mixing it with his tears, (what a miracle!) he immediately departs, feeling healing within himself, receiving relief in the body, heart and mind, accepting the fulfillment of hope as a reward for his hope, and having acquired bodily strength with the strength of his spirit.
This is great, but it is not false; Let everyone believe this, both healthy and sick, one to preserve, the other to gain health! And that my story is not boasting, this is clear from what I, who was silent during her life, now discovered; and rest assured, even now I would not have announced it if the fear had not forbidden me to hide such a miracle from the faithful and the unfaithful, from my contemporaries and descendants.
Such was her life! But I passed over a much larger part in silence for the sake of proportionality of the word and for fear of seeming not to know the limits in my praise of her. But of course, I would not have paid due respect to her holy and glorious death if I had not mentioned its wonderful circumstances, especially since Gorgonia was awaiting her death with such desire and impatience. I will mention this as briefly as possible. She strongly desired to be resolved (for she had much boldness towards the Caller) and preferred being with Christ to everything on earth. And no one, with all the passion and unbridledness, loves her flesh as much as she, throwing off all the bonds and becoming above this mortal thing in which we spend our lives, wanted to fully unite with the Desired and fully perceive the Beloved (I will add more) and the One who loved her, Who now illuminates us with a few rays of His light, so that only we can understand from Whom we are separated.
Her desire, so divine and lofty, does not remain in vain, but what is even more, she anticipates the desired good in foreknowledge after a long vigil, rewarded with one of the most pleasant dreams and a vision in which, according to the dispensation of God, the time is intended for her and even the day of departure itself is revealed, so that she “will be prepared and will not be embarrassed” (Ps. 119:60). So, the grace of purification and sanctification, which we all received from God, was ready for her as a common gift and the foundation of a new life; or better to say, her whole life was purification and sanctification for her. And although she received the gift of rebirth from the Spirit, the safe observance of this gift was prepared by her former life. I would even dare to say that the Sacrament itself was not a new gift for her, but only a seal. To all this she tried to add the sanctification of her husband. (Would you like me to briefly describe it for you?
This was the husband of Gorgonia, and I don’t know if anything needs to be said about him other than this.) She took care that the whole body was dedicated to God, and so that she would not move from here, when only one half of herself was perfect, and some part remained imperfect. And this prayer of hers is not left unfulfilled by Him who creates the will of those who fear Him and brings their petition to an end. And when everything worked out according to her intention, not a single desire was left unfulfilled, and the appointed day was approaching; then she begins to prepare for death and departure and, in fulfillment of the rule common to this, lies down on her bed.
Then, having conveyed her last will to her husband, children and friends, as befitted a wife devoted to her husband, child-loving and brotherly, after a wise conversation about the future life, and making the day of her death a day of celebration, she falls asleep, although without fulfilling the days of the human age, which she did not want, knowing that a long life is useless for herself, and for the most part is consigned to dust and error, but so much filled with days according to God, how many, I don’t know if anyone is filled with those who die in extreme old age and have lived on earth for many years. So it resolves, or, better said, it takes off, flies off, moves and slightly precedes the body.
But what an important circumstance almost escaped me! Wouldn’t you, her spiritual father, who carefully observed and told us a miracle that glorified her so much and served as a reminder of her virtue and an incentive for us to wish for the same death, would have allowed this to happen? And when I remember this miracle, a kind of horror overcomes me and makes me shed tears. It had already ended and was on its last breath; stood around her, family and strangers who had come to give the last kiss; the elderly mother sighed and was tormented in her soul (for she would like to precede her departure), common love was mixed with sorrow, some would like to hear something in memory of her, others would like to say it themselves; but no one dared to utter words; the tears were silent and the grief inconsolable; It seemed impermissible to accompany her departing in peace with sobs; deep silence was observed, and death had the appearance of some kind of sacred triumph.
And she, apparently, was lifeless, motionless, voiceless, her silence made one think that the body was numb, and the organs of the voice were already dead, due to the removal of what set them in motion. But the Shepherd, having carefully observed all the changes in her, because everything that happened to her was miraculous, noticing a slight movement of her lips, put his ear to her lips, which closeness and unanimity gave him the right to do. But it would be better for you to tell the secret of silence yourself, what it was. No one would deny believing what you said. She uttered psalmody, precisely the words of the original psalm, and (if it is necessary to speak the truth) testified to the boldness with which Gorgonia ended. Blessed is he who rests in peace with these words: “I will sleep and rest in peace” (Ps. 4:9). This is what you sang, this is what was fulfilled on you, most perfect of women; This was both psalmody and a tombstone after your departure, beautifully pacified by the rebellion of passions, and in the general sequence of dormition, having tasted the sleep given to the beloved of God, as was fitting for one who lived and departed with words of piety.
Therefore, I am sure that your present state is much better and more excellent than what is visible - the voice of the celebrants, the joy of the Angels, the heavenly order, the vision of glory, and most of all, the purest and most perfect radiance of the Most High Trinity, no longer hidden from the mind, as bound and scattered by the senses, but entirely contemplated and acceptable by the whole mind, and illuminating our souls with the full light of the Divine. You enjoy all the benefits that the streams reached you on earth, for your sincere desire for them. If our glorification is in any way salvific for you, if holy souls are given from God as a reward to feel similar glorifications, then accept my word, instead of many and more funeral honors, the word that I gave to Caesarea before you, and after him I give to you, for this is why I was kept on earth, to accompany the brethren with funeral speeches.
Whether anyone after you will honor me with such an honor, I cannot say, but I would like to be worthy of a single honor - honor in God and by coming and dwelling in Christ Jesus our Lord. Glory to Him, and to the Father and the Holy Spirit forever. Amen.
St. Gregory addresses the word to the parent who was present at the burial.
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