Гимн 36. Богословие о единстве во всем триипостасного Божества; и как (св. Отец), смиряя себя, (этим исповеданием) посрамляет самомнение мнящих о себе, что они нечто 293 .

How, my God, do the passions that You once destroyed in me come to life again and fill me with darkness and sorrow? passions (I say) of rage and anger, from which there is soaring and darkness in my head, and which blind my intelligent eyes. For they, alas for me, seem to be forced to close and huddle, and I am deprived of You - the Light that everyone desires, but few seek, even among those who have been honored to partake of Your ineffable (revelations), and to materially, with an ineffable feeling, partake of (Your) terrible and for all unspeakable mysteries, and to know the invisible glory and extraordinary mystery among the visible, done in the world (only very few, as I know well, who came to a clear contemplation of this), a sacrament done by Him who was in the beginning, before all ages from the Father with the Spirit - the Son of God and the Word 294, the Light threefold in one and one in three. For both 295 are one light, Father, Son and Spirit, existing inseparably in three unfused persons, which, however, are united by the Divine nature, as well as principle, glory, power and will. For three appear to me, as if on one face two beautiful eyes, full of light. How, tell me, can eyes without a face look? and a face without eyes should not, of course, be called a face, for it is deprived of the most important thing, or better yet, everything. After all, if the sun is deprived of the beauty of light, then first of all it itself will perish, 296 and then all creatures that are destined to receive illumination and vision from it. So, among mental (things), if God were deprived of one thing, the Son or the Spirit, then He would no longer be the Father; He would not even be alive, having rejected the Spirit, from Whom life and being are given to everyone. So, let every truly rational nature (nature), which (is) under the sun, and what is above it, honor the Trinitarian Nature, completely inexplicable. For none of the people knew the name of God, nor the nature, nor the form, nor the image, nor the hypostasis, in order to pronounce and describe and communicate to others. But just as the shining sun, setting behind the clouds, is neither itself visible nor does it shine with full light, but emits an unclear light to those on the earth; In the same way, think about God, that (when) He hides from us, we are all contained in great and thick darkness. But see something more marvelous, of course, (here) here: for the light of God does not diminish like (the light of) the sun, but shines everywhere and illuminates everything; and (however) I, (being) among everything, am obsessed with darkness and lose the Light that created me. Who therefore will not weep for me and wail? who will not sigh for me and shed tears that [while] God abides everywhere and in everything and He Himself is all the light, in which there is not a shadow of change at all (Jas. 1:17), neither the onset of night, nor darkness is at all (for him) an obstacle, but (which) is poured out in everything and shines unapproachably, and is worthy to be seen, (as) approachable and perceptible, on the one hand, a little, as we said, in comparison with all the radiance and the Sun itself, when It all shines, on the other hand, a lot in relation to those sitting in darkness themselves, since they were honored to see a small light; I [meanwhile] the unfortunate one prefer darkness and, caring about what is in the darkness, I increase the darkness, and it envelops my despicable soul even more tightly. From him passions are nourished and revived in me, and dragons, reptiles and snakes arise in me 297 (beasts, and are born), always disturbing the parts (τὰ μέλη) of my soul. For empty and vain glory gnaws at me, sinking its teeth into my heart; behind her, fierce dogs and many (wild) animals rose up at me, exhausted and completely exhausted, and, finding me lying, devoured me. For (human) pleasures and praises upset my brain and nerves, robbing me of the vigor and strength of my soul. Alas for me! How can I describe everything? - conceit and laziness, like thieves who attacked me, (sensual) pleasure and care to please people who, dragging in opposite directions, robbed me: one is my chastity and sobriety, and the other is good deeds and Divine deeds, which, revealing themselves, made me dead, leaving 298 in the defiled me a strange, amazing and great conceit. For how, tell me, is it not amazing and full of pity that so many passions, suddenly attacking me, left me naked of all virtue and dead? On the contrary, I, not knowing myself and not understanding anything of what happened, put myself above everyone else, and (consider myself) dispassionate, and a saint, and a wise theologian, and a righteous man, revered by all people. But even though I am praised as worthy of praise, by inviting everyone, I think that I am gaining honor (from them). When they gather, I become even more arrogant and often look around, perhaps someone is missing, who has not come and does not see me. And if it turns out that someone has neglected me, then I vindictively reproach and slander him, so that he, too, having heard and not enduring my reproaches, comes, greets me and turns out to be my supporter, as if he also needs my prayers and love. And I say [then] to everyone else: and such and such visits (me) and receives (my) blessing and listens to my conversations and teaching. Alas for my stupidity! So, how come I don’t see my nakedness and my wretchedness, I don’t feel my ulcers, I don’t grieve and I don’t cry, and lying in the hospital, I don’t seek healing, and I don’t call on doctors, showing (them) my scabs, exposing my hidden passions to them, so that they apply lancets, plasters and cauterizations, and I would courageously endure (them) for the sake of my healing? But on the contrary, I apply ulcers to myself every day. But, O my God, have pity on me who am lost and plant your fear in my heart, so that I, prudently constraining myself (with saving fear), flee the world and hate it. Do not allow me, Christ, to wander among him, since I love You alone, (hitherto) not yet loved, and I only hope to keep Your commandments, [although] I am all in passion and have not yet known You. For who of those who know You needs worldly glory? or which of those who love You more (than You) will seek to either invite (to himself) everyone, or flatter some, or will try to be a friend of all people? None of Your true servants did this. And that is why I grieve and grieve, my God, because I see myself enslaved to this, and I cannot submit, nor do I want to humble myself, nor seek Thy glory alone, through which I am shown to be faithful and Thy servant, and thanks to which (especially in poverty, misery and labor) I can be higher not only than nobles, but also over kings. So, bow down with mercy to my despised soul, God and Creator of all, who has given me goodness, and give me true knowledge, so that I prudently cling to Your eternal blessings, and love and seek Your glory from the soul, not at all caring about human, earthly (glory), so that I may be united with You now and after death, and be honored to reign with You, Christ, who endured a shameful death for my sake and fulfilled all the economy. And then I will be more glorious than all mortals 299. Let it be (so), Lord, now and forever Amen. In P. r. and in l. n. This hymn is placed at number 12. In l. further follows a large omission due to the absence of a torn sheet in the manuscript used by the translator. That is, the light is threefold and united. Instead of ἀποτελεῖται one should read ἀπολεῖται, as this word is read in P. r. Starting from here, further text is available in l. p., from which the following words, placed in brackets, have been removed. These words are not in the l until the next point, i.e. the end of the period. p. In P. r. stands not ἀνθρώπων, as in the printed text, but βροτῶν, in l. n. also mortalibus. The last word is really more appropriate here. You might be interested in: