Гимн 21. Об умном откровении действий Божественного света и об умном и Божественном делании добродетельной жизни 222 .

Leave me alone, imprisoned in the cell; let me go with one Lover of Mankind - God; retreat, withdraw, let me die alone before (the face of) God who created me. Let no one knock (on my) door or raise a voice; let none of my relatives and friends visit me; Let no one forcibly distract my thought from the contemplation of the good and beautiful Lord; Let no one give me food or bring me drink; for it is enough for me to die before (the face of) my God, the merciful and humane God, who came to earth to call sinners and bring them with Him into the Divine life. I no longer want to see the light of this world, neither the sun itself, nor what is in the world. For I see my Lord and King, I see Him who truly is the Light and Creator of all light. I see the source of all good and the reason for everything. I see that beginningless Beginning, from which everything came, through which everything is revived and filled with food. For by His will everything comes into existence and becomes visible, and by His will everything (disappears and) ceases. So, how can I, having left Him, leave the cell? Leave me, I will weep and mourn those days and nights that I lost when I looked at this world, looked at this sun and at this sensual and gloomy light of the world, which does not enlighten the soul, without which the blind also live in the world with eyes that, having ceased (from here), will be the same as the sighted today. In this light, I, being seduced, had fun in every possible way, not at all thinking that there is another Light, which, as it is said, is both life and the reason for the existence of both that which exists and that which will, of course, exist. So, I was, as it were, an atheist, not knowing my God. Now, when He, out of ineffable compassion, deigned to become visible to me, the unfortunate one, and to reveal himself, I saw and knew that He truly is the God of all, God, whom no one in the world has seen. For He is beyond the world, beyond light and darkness, beyond the air and beyond all feeling. Therefore, seeing Him, I became above the senses. So, you, who are in the power of the senses, allow me not only to lock the cell and sit inside it, but even, having dug a hole under the ground, hide (in it). I will live there outside the whole world, contemplating my immortal Lord and Creator; I want to die because of love (for Him), knowing that I will not die. So how has the world benefited me? and what do they now gain that are in the world? - Truly nothing, but having dwelt naked in the tombs, they will be resurrected naked, and they will all cry because, having abandoned true life, the light of the world, - having abandoned Christ, I say, they loved darkness, and all those who did not accept the Light that shone in the world chose to walk in it, Which the world does not contain and cannot see (John 3:19 et seq.). Therefore, leave me alone and let me go, I beg you, to cry and seek Him, so that He may be richly given to me and appear abundantly. For He is not only visible and contemplated, but also taught, and dwells, and abides, being, as it were, a treasure hidden in the depths. He who wears it rejoices and he who sees it rejoices 223 (thinking that although it is hidden, it is seen by everyone; however, it is not seen clearly and inviolably by everyone). Neither a thief can take it away, nor a robber can kidnap it, even if he kills the one who wears it. He would have worked in vain if, wanting to take it away, he examined the wallet, searched the clothes and untied the belt, freely searching for it. Even if, after ripping open his stomach, he felt the insides, then (even then) he would in no way be able to find it or take it. For it is invisible and not held by hands, intangible and at the same time completely tangible. However, it is only held by the hands of those who are worthy (unworthy, move away) and lies in the palm of your hand, and like something, oh miracle! and as not something, for it has no name. So, amazed and wanting to hold him, I think, squeezing my hand, that I have him and am holding him; but 224 it slipped away, being in no way restrained by my hand; Distressed, I pulled apart the metacarpus of my hand and again saw in it what I had seen before... Oh, an indescribable miracle! oh wonderful mystery! Why are we all fussing in vain? Why are we deluding ourselves? Being honored by a word with an intelligent feeling, why do we cling to this insensitive light? Having a completely immaterial and immortal soul, why do we look at these material and perishable (objects)? Why are we surprised, being completely insensitive, and like blind people, preferring a heavy (ingot) of iron and this large (piece of) dough to a small (amount of) gold or a precious pearl, as priceless things, and do not seek a small mustard seed, which is more precious and superior than all creatures and things, both visible and invisible? Why don’t we give everything and acquire it, and why are we ready to stay in life without acquiring it? Believe me, it is better to die many times, if it were possible, just to acquire it - this is a small grain, I say. Woe to those who do not have it all in the depths of their souls, for they will greatly hunger. Woe to those who did not see it grow in them, for they will stand like trees without leaves. Woe to those who do not believe the word of the Lord, that it becomes a tree and puts forth branches, and do not diligently seek, through guarding the mind, the daily increase of this small grain; since in cultivating it they will be left with nothing, like that slave who buried his talent foolishly (Matthew 25:25). I, too, am one of those, and I am careless on a daily basis. But, O indivisible Trinity and unmerged Unity! O Light 225 trinitarian, Father, Son and Soul, O Beginning of the beginning and power without beginning, O Light unnamed, as completely nameless, and on the other hand, many-named, as doing everything, O one glory, authority, power and kingdom, O Light [existing] as one will, reason, advice and strength, have mercy, have pity on me who is contrite. For how can I not lament, how can I not grieve, when I frivolously despised such great goodness and mercy of Thy, recklessly, unhappy, and carelessly walking the path of Thy commandments? But even now, my God, graciously have compassion and have mercy on me, warm up that warmth of my heart, which was extinguished by the peace of my pitiful flesh, sleep, satiety of the belly and excess in wine. All this completely extinguished the flame of my soul and dried up the living source of tears. For warmth gives birth to fire, and this fire gives birth to warmth, and from both a flame is kindled, [and is] a source of tears. The flame produces streams (of tears), and these streams are flame; Diligent exercise in Your Divine commandments led me to them. On the other hand, observing the instructions, with the assistance of repentance, placed me on the border between (ἐν μέσῳ) the present and the future. Therefore, suddenly finding myself outside of visible things, I fell into fear, seeing from where I had been torn out. But I saw the future very far away, and when I wanted to catch it, the fire of love kindled in me, and little by little, in an inexplicable way, it turned into a flame for vision, first (only) in my mind, and then in my heart. This flame of Divine love abundantly shed tears (in me), and along with them brought me inexpressible pleasure. So, when I, confident in myself that the flame would in no way go out (after all, it burns well, I said), and having become careless, foolishly enslaved myself to sleep and satiation of the belly, and having given (myself) some relief, began to drink more wine, not getting drunk, but getting full; the love in my heart immediately died out (in me) - this is a terrible miracle, that flame that, reaching to heaven, although it burned strongly in me, did not burn the hay-like substance located in the depths (of mine), but, lo and behold, it all turned into flame; and the hay, touching the fire, did not burn at all, but on the contrary, the fire, embracing the hay, united (with it), and kept it all unharmed. Oh the power of the Divine fire, oh the wonderful action! You, who destroy rocks and hills out of the mere fear of Your face, how do You, Christ my God, mingle with the hay, the entirely Divine essence, You - living in a completely unbearable light, My God? How, remaining unchanged and completely inaccessible, do You keep the substance of this hay unburnt, and 226 [at the same time], keeping it unchanged, change it all? And it, remaining hay, is light, but that light is not hay; but You, being light, are unfused with the hay, and the hay, having invariably changed, becomes like light. I cannot bear to cover Your wonders with silence; I cannot help but talk about Your economy, which You made with me dissolute and fornicating, and I cannot resist telling everyone, my Redeemer, about the inexhaustible riches of Your love for mankind. For I want the whole world to draw from it, and that no one should remain completely deprived of it. But first, O All-Tsar, shine in me again, inhabit and enlighten my humble soul; clearly show me the face of Your Divinity and appear to me all invisibly, O my God. For You do not appear entirely to me, although You appear entirely to me. Being completely elusive, You desire and are perceptible to me; being inconceivable in the universe, You truly become as if small in my hands, and rotated in my mouth, You are seen sparkling, like a light-like nipple and sweetness, oh wonderful sacrament! So now give Yourself to me, so that I may be satisfied with You, so that I may kiss and kiss Your ineffable glory, the light of Your face, and be filled with (them) and then teach it to everyone else, and having reposed, come to You all glorified. Having become from Your light and myself light, I will appear to You (as such), and then I will get rid of these many evils and be freed from fear, so that I will not change again. To her, give me this too, Master, to her, grant me (also) this, too, for you have given all the rest to me, the unworthy one. After all, this is what is most needed, this is everything. For even now You appear to me, although even now You are kind (towards me), and enlighten me, and teach me mysteriously, and cover me, and protect me with Your sovereign hand, and are present (to me), and put demons to flight and make them invisible, and subdue everything to me, and provide me with everything, and fill me with all good things, O my God; but this will be of no benefit to me if You do not allow me to pass through the gates of death shamelessly. If the prince of darkness, having come, does not see the glory that is with me (Your) and is not, darkened, completely put to shame, having been scorched by Your unapproachable light, and with him all the opposing forces do not take flight, having seen (in me) the sign of Your seal, and I, trusting in Your grace, will not pass away completely fearlessly, and will not fall (to You), and I will not crush them; then what is the benefit to me from what is happening in me now? - Truly none, but (this) will kindle an even greater fire for me. For, hoping to be a partaker of (Your) blessings and eternal glory, and Your servant and friend, if at once I lose everything and You 227, my Christ; then how will that torment not be more severe for me than for the unbelievers, who neither knew You, nor saw Your shining light, nor were satisfied with Your sweetness? If I have to receive that guarantee, achieve those rewards and honors that You, Christ, promised to those who believed in You, then I will also be blessed, and I will praise You - the Son with the Father and the Holy Spirit, the only truly God forever and ever. Amen. In P. r. 28 word; in l. paragraph 19 chapter. What follows, put in brackets from l. p. In l. n. there are no further phrases before the words: “and I saw again”... These words before: “O Nameless Light” are not in l. p. There is no further proposal in l. p. καὶ σοῦ αὐτοῦ - this is how it reads in the Proverbs; in the printed text - without αὐτοῦ. You might be interested in: