395. Блажен человек, который познает немощь свою. Удивляться трудам святых – дело похвальное и ревновать им – спасительно. Кто от случающихся падений не падает духом, того восхвалят Ангелы

Peace be with you. God's mercy be with you all! I received your letter dated November 3rd, 4th. Reading it, I rejoiced in spirit for your knowledge of your infirmities. Blessed is the man who recognizes his weakness, because this knowledge becomes for him the foundation, root and beginning of eternal goodness. As soon as someone recognizes and really feels his weakness, he raises his soul from the relaxation that darkens knowledge, and reserves himself with caution. But no one can feel his weakness unless at least a small temptation is allowed upon him by something that tires either the body or the soul. To be amazed at the works of the saints is a commendable thing, to be jealous of them is salutary, but to suddenly want to become imitators of their lives is a reckless and impossible thing. There is a time for every thing under heaven, says Ecclesiastes (Eccl. ch. 3, v. 1). This saying also covers those things and activities that happen in our sacred life. It is known that for those who strive there is a time of dispassion and there is a time of victory over the passions due to the infancy of those who struggle; there is a time of tears and a time of dryness of heart, there is a time of obedience and a time of command, there is a time of fasting and there is a time of eating. There is a time of physical warfare and a time of extinguishing fervor, a time of spiritual storm and a time of mental silence, a time of heartfelt sadness and a time of spiritual joy... - in a word, there is a time for everything under heaven. So, let not proud zeal deceive us, urging us to seek ahead of time what will come in due time. Let us not seek in winter what belongs to summer, nor during sowing what belongs to the harvest. There is a time to sow labors and there is a time to reap the ineffable gifts of grace. Otherwise, in due time we will not receive what is appropriate and characteristic of that time. St. Macarius and St. Mark, who knew exact experience, testify to this, so that we, the weak, may receive consolation for ourselves in times of need. “Changes,” he says, “happen in everyone, like in the air.” Understand this word “in everyone,” because the property is the same: there is cold, and soon afterwards there is heat, also hail and a little later - a bucket. This is what happens in our exercise: sometimes there is warfare, sometimes there is help from grace; sometimes the soul is overwhelmed and cruel waves rise up against it, and changes occur again, because grace visits and fills a person’s heart with joy, peace from God, chaste and peaceful thoughts. He points to thoughts of chastity, letting those understand that before them there were bestial and unclean thoughts, and gives advice, saying: “If these chaste thoughts are followed, let us not grieve and despair when painful attacks follow, but accept them as natural and characteristic of us. And let us not give in to despair like a person who, for a feat, expects something, even perfect and unchangeable peace, and for something contrary to move within him, which our Lord God did not find appropriate to give to this nature in this world. And know that all this, to our humility, was brought upon us by God’s Providence, which provides for each of us and arranges what is useful for everyone. Finally, know that to resist is not yours or your virtue’s business, but this will be accomplished by grace, which carries you in the palms of its hand, so that you do not fall into fear or despair.” Weep and shed tears, imitate in prayer the Canaanite wife and sinner at the feet of the Savior, crying out incessantly both in words and mentally in your heart humbly and loudly: “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of God, my daughter is raging in evil!” (read in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 15, vv. 21–28 and from Luke, ch. 7, vv. 36–50 and also ch. 18, vv. 10–14). And we should not be horrified if at the beginning of the monastic feat we are more boris than when we lived in the world. Whoever, although he falls, but rises up, will not be overcome by negligence, but God will lead him into the dispensation of diligent workers. Passionate! Let us pray diligently and constantly beseech the Lord, for all the impassive (i.e., the saints) were previously under the yoke of passions and then achieved dispassion, and they entered into the peace of dispassion only as those who endured a fierce battle with the passions. Although not everyone can be dispassionate, it is possible for everyone to be saved and reconciled with God. Repentance is higher than all virtues. But in the hope of God’s mercy and repentance, one should not continue to sin. Such people are suddenly snatched away by death. And having sinned, one should not despair. Where sin has multiplied, His grace abounds all the more. It is common for angels not to fall, for people to fall and get up soon, and for demons to never rise. Whoever does not lose heart from the occasional falls will be praised by the Angels as a brave warrior! The angels rejoice in heaven over the one sinner who repents. And the Savior says that He came to save sinners and that the sick demand a doctor, not health. God judges repentance not according to the measure of work, but according to the measure of humility (Evangel. Luke, ch. 18, vv. 10–14). Some took upon themselves labors and exploits in order to receive forgiveness, but a person who does not remember evil got ahead of him or them, for the saying is true: “Let a little go, and much will be given to you” (Evangel. Luke ch. 6, v. 37 and 1 Corinth. ch. 13, vv. 1–8, 13). Then I remain in wishing you health and spiritual salvation. Asking for God's mercy You might be interested in: