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If we trust in God, nothing will harm us The universal and all-evil enemy the devil, although he does many mean things to us, nothing will succeed if we trust in God, remembering this teaching: “Blessed are you when they revile you, and destroy you, and say all kinds of evil things against you who lie to Me for your sake. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is abundant in heaven” (Matthew 5:11–12). And although there is something confused in us, the Lord Almighty, as long as he preserves my insignificance, henceforth I trust and entrust it to His Providence. Those who trust in God are never deprived of His gifts. Don’t grieve, the Lord will comfort you in everything I wrote to you a lot about this so that you would be patient and generous, and now I am forced to write about the same thing. If you place all your hope in God “who created the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything that is in them” (Ps. 145:6), you will get everything you want and you will be happy and blessed. “Blessed is the God of Jacob, his helper; his trust is in the Lord his God” (Ps. 145:5). The Lord showed by His very deeds how much He helps those who trust in Him: “At that time Jesus saw many people and was merciful to them, and healed their sick. But I was late, His disciples came to him, and saying emptyly there is a place, and the hour is already long, let the people go, and go to the village to buy some food for themselves. Jesus said to them, “They don’t demand food; give them food.” They said to him: there are no imams here, just five loaves of bread and two fish. He said, bring me these things, and commanded the people to recline on the grass, and receive five loaves of bread and both fish, and looked up to heaven, blessing and breaking the loaves of bread to the disciples, and the disciples by the people, and eating them all, and being satisfied: having taken the excess of the ukruh, twelve koshas were fulfilled, but those who ate were like five thousand men, except for wives and children" ( Matthew 14:14–21). What does this Gospel story show if not that those who trust in God never remain deprived of His gifts! Five thousand husbands, and perhaps another five thousand wives and children, placed such hope in the Savior of the world that they ran on foot to an empty place and did not take any food with them, carrying their sick with them. What did they receive from Him in whom they trusted? Not only did the Lord heal all their sick, but He also filled them all with the blessed loaves and fishes to the point of abundance. The disciples asked Him to let them go, but He did not want to let them go before He healed the sick and satisfied the hungry. There are such examples from the Holy Scriptures, and our word confirms this prophetic saying: “... I trusted in you and was not ashamed” (Ps. 22:6). And this single apostolic instruction shows the truth: “Faith does not put one to shame” (Rom. 5:5). And again I ask you - do not be discouraged, lest your pain increase, but trust in God and do not give up doing good deeds. Man, says God, seek virtue, and all the good things in the world will be added to you. You, God cries, seek My kingdom and virtue, and I give you all good things as an addition. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). I pray to the Lord that God’s holy and saving hope may dwell in your heart. Do not grieve, the Lord will comfort you in everything. God knows what is good for us, therefore, if the Lord delivers you from the lot of the authorities, blessed be God! And when the lot falls on you, then with blessed renunciation, as much as possible, the will of the Lord be done. You know that it is disastrous to wish for this, but what will happen not according to our will, judging by the current severity, is that you yourself know that God’s help is special. The rank of superiors is not the reason for internal cooling The Lord pleases the narrow and sorrowful path, not the long and sorrowless one With heartfelt regret I see what you wrote about your cooling off towards everything monastic, which you attribute as the reason to the rank of superior. I also see a ray of hope for consolation about you, with all my soul your desire to be released from the bonds of authority. But it extinguishes your cowardice and doubt after repentance. You are now in a struggle between these thoughts, you don’t know where to turn, you see that woe to the monk who has tasted the boss’s life, which deprives him of his good qualities. Therefore, I clearly see that you desire the salvation of the soul, but the love of the flesh and passions sway you; however, it seems that on these scales the first particle has its advantage. Judge fairly about my, perhaps, quick resolution, for towards evening the day of my life has already fallen; and you yourself, hoping in your youth to still enjoy it, seek and desire my last advice: is it useful for you to leave the abbotship or continue for some time? – Ask God for God’s sake to write to you about this in a fatherly way. O beloved father and brother! It would be hard for me to leave you unanswered from everywhere, I would be overcome by illness and regret for your soul, but to write the truth about the circumstances of the present times and later may be your cowardly repentance and lamentation of me. Remembering your first love and true faith, without which you would not have questioned my badness, and at the same time, grieving in my soul about the disorder of your arrangement, I decided to submit an answer according to your faith, seeking spiritual benefit. Remember your intention and zeal when you entered monasticism, your vow and your diligence with the care of the elders to gain salvation for your soul. If something was purchased, where is it now? Everything became impoverished. What is the reason for this? You say - rank of superiors. Exactly like St. Isaac the Syrian writes that “even if one is in poor spiritual health, one should not go into the sea of ​​the world,” and among other things that harm the soul, he also mentions the authorities. However, not the actual rank of authority, but your spiritual weakness and still unconquered passions, but the main ones: love of fame, voluptuousness and love of money, which your feelings could not meet without damaging your spiritual ferocity by their ferocity. And you are already without weapons and are unable to resist them. There are people who pass through the authorities not only without harming themselves, but also for the benefit of their neighbors; but they are strong to stand against passions, and for the weak, so as not to perish himself and not to destroy those he cares for, what should he do? If you have a true desire for the salvation of your soul, then take advice, not from me, but from the holy fathers - true workers and teachers of monastic life. St. John Climacus writes: “By the streams of passions through which negligence rose into them, negligence must also go out through the door of covetousness; not by the power of the authorities there are no other gates except those by which it entered.” In the written book of St. Simeon the New Theologian, read the 8th Word, as it is fitting for the leader of the verbal flock of Christ to look and torture, and again in the 26th Word; and the Venerable Nile the Faster “The Word of the Fast” in the “Philokalia” from the book of Nikon of Montenegro, the 8th Word from Chrysostom’s conversations on the Epistle to Titus. From the Lives of Pachomius: “As plinths, put into a river, do not endure a single day; even if the livers become fire, they remain like stone; and a man of carnal wisdom, if he cannot be kindled by the word of God according to Joseph, the authorities part with him. There are many such temptations among people; There is good for someone who knows his own measures, put aside the burden of the authorities, so as not to be harmed. Confirmation by faith and doing the Commandments of God are unshakable. For this reason: vanity, love of money and arrogance are intertwined with power.” From these you will see the importance of the rank and understand your ability and strength with spiritual weaknesses and how you must give an answer not for yourself, but also for the souls of others. And although you hope from your youth that your life will continue, but this is unknown, we must use the present time and not lose it, given to us for repentance. Our Lord Jesus Christ did not command to delay time: “Watch and pray, for you do not know at what hour the thief will come” (Luke 12:39). I consider it necessary to remember you about our famous brother, Fr. Archimandrite Paisiya Radovetsky: he repeatedly asked my unworthy advice to leave his superiors, but, hesitating to fulfill it, he moved away from this life, did not receive the desired peace in the desired silence and consideration of himself. Your cowardice and fear that repentance will follow is brought to you by an enemy who is jealous of your salvation, wanting with these tares to suppress the good seed vegetating in you and extinguish the spark shining in you for the desire for correction and salvation. I don’t vouch for this, as if he will bring you repentance for abandoning him, but when you put on faith in the weapon of God, then his arrows will be counted against you as if they were a child’s. When you see your spiritual futility and want to get rid of it, you must prepare to be patient and endure its attacks: no matter what happens to endure the sorrowful, then we are obliged to our vows for all of it. To cleanse sins and gain humility, sorrows are necessary, which when they come, it is not without the providence and permission of God, and His help is sent down. Remember that the Lord pleases the narrow and sorrowful path, and not the long, sorrowless one. Having offered you my fatherly teachings and my feeble-minded reasoning on this subject, I leave it to your autocracy to choose the best. When approaching this, first pray to the Most Merciful Lord, that He will arrange for you as His will pleases, and give strength and strength to care - when His will is done, which can lead to a good dispensation and hope for salvation. I pray to the Most Merciful Lord that He will allow you in this matter to follow true reason according to His holy will and strengthen you in temptations. The reason for unworldliness is a bad conscience You write that you encountered strong embarrassment against M. Arcadia through her reproaches. You don’t know the reason for this, but, meanwhile, you explain it yourself: you don’t have any special faith in her, and, therefore, you haven’t opened your conscience purely; showed the outer disposition, and therefore your opposite is known to her heart, and one must believe that some cases, perhaps, came to her attention through their connection with others through their revelations. In our understanding, this very thing is the reason for the non-peace between you. Don't contradict yourself. You say: “I can’t leave her alone,” and you don’t have any special faith in her, what good is that? If you want to be favored and used, then throw away all pride and self-love and completely change yourself - these passions are so blinding that we consider even bad things to be good. All evil is the seed of the devil Please do not leave you, a lost sheep, who drowned your soul in sins, like in the mud of the sea. I accept your request with respect and have the duty to write a few lines for your benefit, which you will accept and plant in the good soil of your heart and try to bring good fruit from good deeds. Feeling sorry for you, I offer a reliable means of obtaining forgiveness for these [sins]. I am quite aware that you have unworldliness or resentment towards your sister Vera Nikiforovna, the reasons for whose malice I also do not know - however, no matter what kind it is, all malice is the seed of the devil, and whoever has malice against his neighbor sins mortally before God, even if the guilt were not given to him, even if he were an enemy. We have the commandment of the Lord - “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and love those who harm you and drive you out” (Matthew 5:43–44). How will you justify yourself for not fulfilling this commandment? Being in anger, it is unworthy to pray to the Lord: “If you bring your gift to the altar, and you remember that your brother has something for you, leave your gift, and then be reconciled with your brother, and then offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). You see that God does not accept prayers in anger. How can we read the “Our Father” prayer without condemnation? “Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12), but we do not forgive. And again the Lord adds: “Whenever you stand praying, let go whatever you have against anyone” (Mark 11:25); and “Your Father in heaven will forgive you your trespasses; if you do not forgive men their trespasses, your Father in heaven will not forgive you your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14–15). The Lord also showed by example how grave sin is for Him when we do not let go and do not forgive our neighbors for their sins. This parable is about a debtor to whom the Lord has forgiven his debt. According to all these most important parables, you must certainly reconcile with your sister and forgive her for her guilt against you, when you want your sins to be forgiven by God. Remember, your calling is a Christian, and therefore you must believe the teachings of Christ, and try to believe it, especially this most necessary commandment about forgiveness of neighbors, for this will destroy our sinful bonds. And, while remaining in them, you are carried away even further and drown in the mire of sin, and therefore you are deprived of God’s help in doing good deeds. Showing impatience with elders comes from a lack of humility Try to keep your feelings Your impatience with your elders also shows your weakness and lack of humility, which you and I have not yet achieved and from which we are far removed. Even when your heart is indignant, keep silence, but not an evil one, and if you see that evil thoughts are secretly operating in you, when you go away, pray to God for those who have offended you and ask for their mercy through prayers; try to always find guilt in yourself, if at that time you were not guilty, then reproach is sent for previous sins and to expose our poor dispensation. We feel we have debts to God, and we must not run away from complaints, reprimands and insults: they will not only pay off the debt, but also heal a great mental illness - pride - by applying these plasters with God's help. There is also much that is useful for your dispensation, also in other degrees, about freedom from anger and meekness, about humility and others. Finding yourself insufficient against them, replace this insufficiency with constant self-reproach and, no matter how the waves arise on your soul, always resort to Christ - the Savior will come to the rescue and tame the waves. Believe that the Lord has carefully arranged for you such a life for healing; do not reject it and do not seek bodily tranquility and imaginary peace: first you must endure a lot. If you have revelation, it will greatly ease your struggle and you will have more peace of mind than on your own. You might be interested in: