72. Обет отречения от мира. Как вести себя по изречении обета до его исполнения

God's mercy be with you. Your last letter brought me unspeakable joy. So, you finally decide to devote your life to serving the Lord, without being entangled in everyday life. May the Lord graciously accept this sacrifice and bless your good decision! You have spoken before the Lord, hold it and from now on form yourself in your thoughts in such a way that you are already cut off from the world. I have heard from you before that your soul is not in favor of this way of life, either because of your weak health, or because of the fear of failures that you have noticed in other families. But that was one speech, and now it’s another. It's one thing, but the soul in it is different. That was an aversion to worldly things for worldly reasons, but now you cut yourself off from worldly things in order to belong entirely to the Lord. How many people live without families, but they all live in the same way as those with families, with the same concerns and views. Your solution is not in this spirit. It comes from a completely different source and belongs to a different order of life and associates you with it. Warm up the spirit in which your decision was made. The decision has been pronounced, but when and how to implement it requires patient waiting. You cannot suddenly rush in your situation, when everything, as you expect, will be contrary. Parental blessing is the first condition. We must wait for him. Wait and pray. The Lord, who has placed such a good intention in you, will Himself bring it to fruition in an imperceptible way, like a sled rolling downhill. Don’t say anything, but, keeping one thought in your soul, keep praying to the Lord that He will fulfill your intention, as His wise will knows. Meanwhile, adapt yourself to that type of life - not by changing external orders, but by internal order. By this I do not mean anything special, but the same thing about which so much has been written before and what you have already begun to do. Take on everything indicated more decisively now. The foundation has been laid, build the building. You have turned your back to the things of life; do not turn your face to them anymore. Now you can completely give up all entertaining pleasures and keep yourself more at home in solitude, doing something, and in between - doing activities according to the spirit of your mood. Now you can act more decisively in this regard. Let me also mention the main thing. By renouncing the things of this world, we must all the more approach ourselves to God. You know this, but you will be blessed if you do it. Think more about God and the works of God. The memory that the Lord is everywhere: both with you and in you - impose this memory on your mind and walk with it inseparably: work, sit, sleep and stay awake. Combine with this memory another - the memory of death and what comes after death: about judgment and the predetermination of eternal fate. These two memories are two powerful guardians of all good. They themselves will teach you everything, kindling in you the saving fear of God - the source of divine wisdom. You already know that. I mention this in passing so that you tackle this more decisively. The word you especially need now is: bless, Lord! But wait patiently for the fulfillment. You might be interested in: