71. Охлаждение к молитве. Небрежная и спешная молитва. Как избегать этого. Чтение молитв на память

God's mercy be with you! You write: “Something is going wrong with my prayer.” If prayer goes poorly, it is not the prayer’s fault, but the person praying’s. Try to pray as you should, and prayer will go well. Anyone who writes poorly will be shouted at and threatened - and he begins to write correctly. If you please, shout at yourself and threaten with God’s judgment - and you will begin to pray properly. We correct human affairs carefully, because people will see and reproach, but we do God’s work somehow, because the Lord is silent, does not immediately reproach, leaving His service to the zeal of His children, who have been so blessed by Him. Oh, how bitter it will be when you have to confess your guilt before the Lord Himself. Where did your prayer go?! After all, she went well, and you already felt her good effect in your heart. I'll tell you where she went. Having prayed once or twice fervently and with warmth, and having experienced such immediate help from Saint Sergius as a result of prayer, you thought that your prayer had already been established and therefore there was no need to worry much about it: it would go well on its own. Having allowed such a thought, when you stood up for prayer, you began to read the prayers carelessly and hastily, and stopped watching your thoughts. Because of this, attention was scattered, thoughts diverged in different directions - and prayer was not prayer. They did this once or twice, and the prayer completely disappeared. Start acquiring prayer again and asking the Lord for it. From this you will learn that you should never consider any spiritual work as established, and especially prayer, but always behave as if you were beginning to perform it for the first time. What is done for the first time, the first diligence is given to it. If you feel like this when starting to pray, that you have never prayed as you should and now you only want to do it for the first time, then you will always perform your prayer with the first zeal. And it will go well. I believe that you began to hastily complete your prayer rule, somehow, just to finish. Make it a law from now on never to pray haphazardly. Nothing offends the Lord as much as this. It is better not to read all the prescribed prayers, but with the fear of God and reverence, than to read everything, but somehow. It’s better to even read one prayer or even pray in your own words, falling on your knees, than to do this. They began to pray like this, and there was no fruit. Please reproach yourself thoroughly for such negligence. Know this that none of those who pray attentively and fervently depart from prayer without accepting the effect of prayer. Oh, what good we deprive ourselves of by allowing ourselves to pray carelessly! Why is there haste in prayer? Not clear. We spend hours doing other things, and it doesn’t seem long, but as soon as we get up to pray, we think that we’ve been standing there for who knows how long. And well, push yourself to finish as soon as possible. There is no benefit from prayer. How can this be? Others do this in order not to be subjected to such self-deception: they assign themselves a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or an hour for prayer, as is more convenient for them, and adjust their standing for prayer in such a way that the strike on the clock - half an hour or an hour - lets them know about the end of standing. Then, when they stand up for prayer, they no longer worry about reading so many and so many prayers, but only about ascending to the Lord in prayer properly at the allotted time. Others do this: having determined a time for prayer, they find out how many times during this time they can walk through the rosary, slowly moving them. Then, standing for prayer, they move the rosary slowly a certain number of times, and at that time they stand before the Lord with their minds, either talking to Him in their own words, or reading some prayers, or without both, reverently worshiping His boundless greatness. Both of them become so accustomed to praying that the minutes of standing in prayer are sweet moments for them. And it rarely happens anymore that they stand in prayer for only the allotted time, but they double and triple it. Please choose any of these methods. And stick to it urgently. You and I cannot do without precise rules. For zealous prayer books, no rules are needed. I have already written to you so that you memorize the prayers and, when you stand for prayer, read them from memory, without picking up a prayer book. This is so good! When you stand for prayer, read a memorized prayer or psalm and embrace every word of it not only with your thoughts, but also with your feelings. If at the same time, from any word of a psalm or prayer, your own prayer appeals begin to be born, do not stop them, let them go. After all, you won’t have to worry about reading so much and so much, but just stand in prayer for the allotted time, which will tell itself either in the rosary or in the clock. There is no need to rush into reading prayers. Let one psalm or one prayer be read during this entire time. Someone said that he often happens to read one “Our Father” during all his allotted time for prayer. Because every word he says turns into a whole prayer. Another said that when someone explained to him that it was possible to pray this way, he stood in reverent prayer all morning, reading “Have mercy on me, O God,” and did not have time to finish the psalm. Please get into the habit of praying like this for yourself and, God willing, you will soon cultivate prayer in yourself. And there won’t be any need for any rules. Work hard, otherwise nothing will come of you. If you don’t succeed in prayer, don’t expect success in anything else. She is the root of everything. You might be interested in: