Наставления к внутренней жизни

Chapter 1. About internal conversation The Kingdom of God is within you, says the Lord. Turn to the Lord with all your heart, leave this disastrous world, and your soul will find peace. Learn to despise the external, surrender to the internal, and you will see the Kingdom of God enter within you. The Kingdom of God is peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and the wicked will not know it. Christ will come to you and show you His consolation when you prepare a worthy dwelling for Him within yourself. All His glory and His beauty are within and there is a place pleasing to Him. His frequent dealings with the inner man, sweet conversation, gracious consolation, abundance of peace, indescribable fellowship. Arise, faithful soul, prepare your heart for the bridegroom, so that he may come to you and deign to dwell in you. Behold, He said: “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our abode with him.” So, give room to Christ, and close the entrance to everyone else. When Christ is in you, you are rich and you have everything. He Himself will be your provident and faithful trustee in everything, and you will not need to rely on people: people change quickly and soon fall away, but Christ abides forever, and will remain firmly with you to the end. Do not place much faith in a frail and mortal person, no matter how much you love him, no matter how useful he is, and do not be sad when he turns against you and speaks contrary to you. Whoever is with you today may be against you tomorrow, and when people turn around, they often change like the wind. Place all your trust in the Lord; May He be in your fear and in your love. He Himself will be responsible for you and will turn everything for your good. You have no abiding city here, no matter where you are, you are a stranger and a stranger, and you will never enter into peace until you are united with Christ internally. Why are you looking around here? This is not your resting place. Your dwelling must be in the heavenly, and like a stranger on his way you must look at everything you see. Everything passes, and you go through everything together. Be careful, don’t stop: you will stick and die. Let your thoughts be to the Almighty and let your prayer ascend to Christ unceasingly. If you do not know how to contemplate what is above and heavenly, calm your soul in the suffering of Christ, and dwell in His holy wounds with love. When you fall reverently to the precious stripes of Jesus, you will receive great consolation in sorrow, and you will not care much about human contempt, and every word of reproach will be easy for you. And the Lord Jesus Christ in the world was despised and in great need by people; his acquaintances and friends abandoned him in the midst of reproach. The Lord Jesus wanted to suffer and be despised: but you dare to complain about anything! Christ had opponents and slanderers, but you want everyone to be your friends and benefactors! What will be the crown of your patience if no trouble happens to you? If you don’t want to tolerate anything nasty, how can you be a friend of Christ? Endure to the end with Christ and for Christ’s sake, if you want to reign with Christ. If only once you had completely entered into Jesus and tasted at least a little of His fiery love, then you would not have cared about your own pleasure or burden, but you would rather rejoice that you endure reproach: for a person despises himself when he loves Jesus. He who loves Jesus and the truth, who is truly an inner man and free from disordered attachments, can freely turn to God, and can rise above himself in spirit and remain in sweet peace. He who understands everything according to the truth, as it is, and not according to human words or judgments, is truly wise and learned from God more than from people. He who knows how to walk the inner path and does not value the outer too much, has no need to look for places and wait for time for reverent exercises. The inner man quickly collects himself, for he never completely surrenders to appearance. He is not disturbed by external labor or occupation that requires time, but he adapts himself to everything that happens. He who is well-directed and structured within himself has no concern for the wondrous and perverse deeds of men. As much as a person himself attracts to himself from the world, so much difficulty and distraction will he experience. If everything were simple in you and purified properly, everything that happens to you would serve you for your benefit and improvement. This is why you often don’t like many things and many things confuse you, because you have not yet completely died to yourself and have not renounced everything earthly. The human heart is not darkened and entangled in anything so much as by unclean love for creatures. When you renounce external consolations, then you will be able to contemplate heavenly things and more often rejoice in inner joy. 1) Luke. 17:21, Rom. 14:17, Ps. 46:14. 2) In. 14:23 – 12:34. 3) Heb. 13:14. Chapter 2. About humble submission Don't worry too much about who is for you and who is against you; but act like this and try so that God will be with you in everything you do. You will have a good conscience, and God will protect you strongly. Whoever He deigns to help cannot be harmed by anyone’s malice. If you know how to be silent and patient, have no doubt: you will see help from the Lord. He Himself knows the time and the way to deliver you: leave your fate completely to Him. Our help comes from the Lord; with Him is deliverance from all confusion. Often we really need to strengthen humility so that others know and expose our shortcomings. When a person humbles himself in his shortcomings, then it is easy for him to reconcile others with himself, and it is not difficult to satisfy those who are angry. God covers and delivers the humble. He loves and consoles the humble. He bows down to a humble person. He rewards the humble with abundant grace and, out of humiliation, lifts him up to glory. He reveals His secrets to the humble; He quietly calls and attracts the humble. The humble one, when he endures reproach and embarrassment, is then content in the world, for he is established not in the world, but in God. Don’t think that you will move forward even a little until you feel inferior to everyone else. Chapter 3. About a kind and peace-loving person First establish yourself in the world, and then you can pacify others. A peaceful person is more useful than a scientist. In passion, a person turns good into evil, and is inclined to believe all evil. But a kind and peaceful person turns everything for good. He who stands firm in the world suspects no one. And whoever lives dissatisfied and in excitement is confused by all sorts of suspicions, and he himself is restless and does not leave others in peace. He often says what he shouldn’t say, often omits what he should have done in the first place. He looks at what others should do, but doesn’t think about what he himself should do. So, first have zeal for yourself: then in truth you can be zealous for your neighbor. You know how to excuse and justify your actions, but you don’t want to accept apologies from others. You would be right if you blamed yourself and excused your brother. When you want your burdens to be carried, carry those of others. Look how far you are from true love and humility: you cannot be indignant or angry with anyone, except at yourself. It is not a great thing to treat kind and meek people: everyone naturally likes this: with such people it is easy for everyone to live in peace, and everyone loves single-minded people for their own sake; but to live in peace with the rude, with the absurd and disorderly, with those who contradict us - this is great grace, this is a praiseworthy deed worthy of a husband. There are people who keep themselves in peace and have peace with others; There are also those who do not have peace within themselves and do not leave others in peace. They are hard for others, but for themselves they are always even harder. There are also people who maintain themselves in peace and try to bring others to peace. And our whole peace in this calamitous life consists more in enduring with humility than in not feeling the opposite. He who knows how to endure better will receive more peace. He conquered himself, he is the master of the world, he is the friend of Christ and the heir of heaven. Chapter 4. About simplicity of heart and purity of thought A person rises from the earthly on two wings - one wing is simplicity, the other is purity. Simplicity should be in thought, purity in feeling. Purity seeks God, purity accepts and tastes. No good deed will hinder you if you are free in your soul from any disordered attachment. If you have nothing in the subject and do not seek anything other than the favor of God and the benefit of your neighbor, you will have inner freedom. If your heart were simple, then every creature would serve you as a mirror of life and a book of holy teaching. Every creature, no matter how small and low, represents God's goodness. If you were kind and pure internally, then you would see everything and comprehend everything correctly and without difficulty. A pure heart penetrates both heaven and hell. What one is like internally, so he judges externally. If there is joy in the world, then in truth only a pure heart possesses it. And if there is sorrow and distress somewhere, then the evil conscience knows it most closely. Just as iron, when thrown into the fire, loses its rust and everything becomes hot through and through: so a person, when he turns his whole self to God, casts off laziness and turns into a new man. When a person falls into lukewarmness, he is afraid of even small labor and accepts external consolation. But when he begins to completely conquer himself and courageously walk the path of God, then even that in which he previously felt great burden seems insignificant. We cannot trust ourselves too much, for often the grace in us becomes impoverished and we lack understanding. We have little light and we soon lose it through neglect. Often we don’t even notice that we are so blind internally. We often act badly and justify ourselves even worse; sometimes passion operates in us, and we consider it jealousy. We condemn the small things in others, but do not pay attention to the great things in ourselves. We immediately feel and weigh what we tolerate from others, but what others tolerate from us we do not notice. If someone could judge his own things completely and truthfully, there would be nothing left for him to condemn in others. The inner man takes care of himself first of all; and whoever diligently listens to himself, it is easy for him to remain silent about others. You will never be an inward and reverent person if you do not remain silent about others and pay special attention to yourself. If you are completely attentive to yourself and God, what you see outside yourself will have little effect on you. Where are you when you're not with yourself? And if you went everywhere, what good would it do if you neglected yourself? If you want to have true peace and unity, you need to put everything else aside and have yourself alone before your eyes. So, you will receive great benefit when you keep yourself free from all temporary worries. You will lose a lot if you keep something temporary in your mind. Let you have nothing great, lofty, pleasant, or willing: is there only one God or what is God’s. Consider everything as vanity, whatever consolation you encounter from every creation. A soul that loves God despises everything that is lower than God and lets everything pass by. There is one God, eternal and infinite, who fulfills everything, comforts the soul and true joy to the heart. Chapter 6. About the joy that comes from a good conscience Glory to a good person is evidence of a good conscience. Have a good conscience and you will always have joy. A good conscience can endure much, and in adversity it rejoices with great joy. A bad conscience is always fearful and restless. You will rest in sweetness when your heart does not reproach you. Don't rejoice without a good deed. The wicked never have true joy and do not feel inner peace: for “there is no joy for the wicked,” says the Lord God. And when they say: “We are in peace, no troubles will come to us and who will dare to harm us?” - do not believe them. For the wrath of God will suddenly arise, and their deeds will be reduced to nothing and their thoughts will perish. It is not hard for someone who loves to boast in sorrows; and to boast in this way means to boast about the cross of the Lord Jesus. Brief is the glory that is given and received from people. Worldly glory is always accompanied by sorrow. The glory of the virtuous is in their conscience, and not in the lips of men. The joy of the righteous is in God and in God, and their joy is in the truth. But whoever seeks temporary glory or does not despise it from the heart, you cannot convince him to love heavenly glory. There is great peace in the heart of one who cares neither about praise nor about blame. It is easy for one who has a clear conscience to be content and moderate. You will not be holier for being praised, nor worse for being scolded. What you are is what you will remain, and the word of man cannot make you better than God testifies about you. If you look after yourself, what is inside you, you will not care what people outside of you say about you. Man looks at the face, but God looks at the heart. Man reasons about deeds, God tests intention. Always doing good and thinking little about yourself is a sign of a humble soul. Not seeking consolation from any creature is a sign of great purity and inner confidence. He who does not look outside himself for any evidence about himself, it is clear that he has completely surrendered himself to God. “It is not the one who praises himself who is worthy,” says Blessed Paul, “but the one whom the Lord praises.” To walk with God internally, and not to hold on to any attachment outside oneself - this is the state of the inner man. 1) Isa. 57:21. 2) Rome. 5:3. Gal. 6:14. 4) 2Cor. 10:18. Chapter 7. About loving Jesus above all else Blessed is he who understands that it is to love Jesus and to despise himself for Jesus' sake. We must leave the beloved for the beloved, for Jesus wants Him alone to be loved most of all. Love of creation is deceptive and fickle; love for Jesus is blessed and does not waver. Whoever is attracted to the creature will fall with it, as it falls; whoever embraces Jesus will be established forever. Love Him, keep Him as your friend: when everyone retreats, He will not leave you and will not let you perish in the end. Whether you like it or not, you will have to be separated from everyone someday. Both in life and in death, hold on to Jesus and commit yourself to His faithfulness: He alone can help you when everyone has left you. Your beloved is of such a nature that he does not want to allow outsiders, but One wants to possess your heart, and like a king, he wants to sit on his throne. If you could be free from all creation, Jesus would gladly dwell with you. Whatever you place in people past Jesus, almost everything will perish before you. Do not put your trust in, do not lean on a reed shaken by the wind; For all flesh is hay, and all its glory will fall like a field flower. You will soon be deceived if you start looking at human appearance alone. And if you begin to look for consolation and profit in others, you will often feel loss. When you look for Jesus in everything, you will certainly find Jesus; and if you look for yourself, then you will find yourself, but for your own destruction. For a person, when he does not seek Jesus, suffers more harm from himself than from the whole world and from all his opponents. Chapter 8. About close fellowship with Jesus When Jesus is with you, everything is good for you, and nothing seems difficult. And when Jesus is not with you, everything is painful. When Jesus inside does not speak, you feel miserable joy, but if Jesus speaks even a single word, you feel great consolation. Isn’t it so that Mary immediately rose from the place where she was crying when Martha said to her: “The Teacher is here and is calling you!” Blessed is the hour when Jesus calls you from tears to spiritual joy! How dry and cruel you are without Jesus, how mad and vain you are when you desire something outside of Jesus! And wouldn't you rather lose the whole world than suffer this loss? What can the world give you without Jesus? To be without Jesus is a painful hell; sweet heaven - to be with Jesus. If Jesus were with you, no enemy could harm you. Whoever finds Jesus finds a great treasure, good above all good: but whoever has lost Jesus has lost immeasurably much, more than the whole world. Those who live without Jesus are the poorest of all; all are richer who are good to be with Jesus. It is great art when you know how to deal with Jesus; great intelligence when you know how to keep Jesus with you. Be humble in heart and peace-loving, and Jesus will be with you. Be pious and quiet, and Jesus will be with you. You can soon drive Jesus away and lose His grace if you want to deviate into the external. And when you drive Him away and lose Him, who will you resort to then, what kind of friend will you find for yourself? You cannot be without a friend for long, and when Jesus does not become your closest friend, you will be very lonely and sad. So, you act foolishly when you trust in someone else and rejoice in someone else. It is better to choose to have the whole world as your enemy than to offend Jesus. And of all the beloved, may Jesus be especially beloved to you. Let there be love for people for Jesus' sake, and let there be love for Jesus for His own sake. Let us especially love Jesus Christ alone: ​​He is the only good and faithful friend above all friends. For His sake and in Him, let both friends and enemies be dear to you, and for all of them, beseech Him for everyone to know and love Him. Never wish to be praised and loved alone: ​​this belongs to God alone, for God has no one like Himself. And do not want anyone’s heart to be occupied with you and yours to be occupied with someone else’s love; but let Jesus be in you and in every good person. Be pure and free internally, not clinging to any creature. You need to bare yourself and bring a pure heart to Jesus if you want to lose yourself and know that the Lord is good. But in fact, you will not achieve this if you are not preceded and gathered inside by His grace, so that, having abolished everything and let go of yourself, you unite alone with the One. For when the grace of God comes to a person, he becomes strong for everything; and when (grace) recedes, then he becomes poor and weak, and, as it were, left only to torture. And then you should not fall and despair, but with a calm spirit accept the will of God, and endure everything that comes upon you for the glory of Christ Jesus. For after winter comes summer, after night the day returns, and after a storm the sky clears with great radiance. 1) In. 9:28. 5) Ps. 33:9. Chapter 9. About complete inconsolability It is not hard to neglect human consolation when there is divine consolation. It is a great thing, a very great thing, when you know how to be both without human and without divine consolation, and for the love of God, willingly and of good will, endure heartfelt exile, and not look for yourself in anything, and not think the least about your own dignity. What great thing is that you rejoice and are reverent when grace comes? This is a time everyone wishes for. It is sweet to fly on the road when carried by the grace of God - and is it marvelous that the traveler does not feel burdened when the Almighty carries him and leads the Supreme Leader? It is pleasant for us when we have something to console us, and it is difficult for a person to be distracted from himself. Saint Lawrence conquered the world with his high priest, for he despised everything in the world that seemed delightful and even endured separation from the Supreme High Priest of God, Sixtus, whom he loved dearly, with meekness. Thus, with the love of God he overcame the love for man and preferred the favor of God to human consolation. So you, too, learn to leave another necessary and beloved friend for the sake of God’s love, and do not be grievously upset when you happen to be abandoned by a friend, knowing that we will all have to be separated from each other someday. A person must struggle a lot and for a long time within himself before he learns to completely conquer himself and attract all his feelings to God. When a person asserts himself, it is easy for him to deviate towards human consolations. But a true lover of Christ and a diligent follower of virtues is not carried away by those consolations, and seeks not those sensual sweets, but strong trials and desires to endure the hard labors of Christ for the sake of. So, when God gives spiritual consolation, accept it with gratitude and understand that it is a gift from God, and not your dignity: do not be arrogant. Do not rejoice excessively and do not dream madly about yourself; but humble yourself more for that gift, and be more careful, more fearful in all your affairs, for that hour will pass, and temptation will follow it. When consolation is taken away from you, do not rush to despair: but wait in humility and patience for a heavenly visit: God may again give you even greater grace and consolation. There is nothing new or strange here for those who have been tempted in the ways of God, for the great saints and ancient prophets often experienced such a change. Because of this, someone, in the presence of grace, exclaimed: “I have spoken in my abundance: I will never fail.” And then he says what he experienced in himself when grace receded: “I turned away Your face and was embarrassed.” Meanwhile, however, he does not despair at all, but prays more intensely to the Lord and says: “To You, Lord, I will cry and pray to my God.” Finally, he declares the fruit of his prayer and testifies that it was heard: “The Lord heard and had mercy on me: the Lord is quick to help me.” But what? “He turned my weeping into joy,” he says, “and girded me with joy.” If God acted this way with the great saints, then we, the weak and poor, should not despair when we are at times either cold or hot. For the spirit comes and goes according to the good pleasure of His will. Therefore, blessed Job says: “Make a visit to him every morning.” and test it all the time.” What should I hope for, what should I strengthen my hope on, perhaps on one thing - on the great mercy of the Lord, on the one hope of heavenly grace? Whether people are kind to me, reverent brothers and faithful friends, holy books or elegant reasonings, sweet stichera and songs - all this serves little to help me, little delights me when grace has receded and I am left in my own poverty. Then there is no better way than to endure and deny yourself to the will of God. I have not met a single believer and reverent person who would not sometimes endure the withdrawal of grace, or would not feel a decrease in ardor. None of the saints achieved such admiration or such spiritual enlightenment that they did not endure temptations - one earlier, the other later. He is not worthy of the high contemplation of God who, for the sake of God, has not experienced any embarrassment. Confusion comes first, but this is a sign that consolation will follow; for heavenly consolation is promised to him who endures temptation. “To him who overcomes,” he says, “I will give to eat from the tree of life.” And for this reason divine consolation is given, so that a person becomes stronger to endure disasters. And temptation follows consolation, so that in a good state one does not become arrogant. The devil does not sleep, the flesh is not yet dead; and therefore do not stop preparing for the fight, for you have enemies on both the right and the left who never sleep. 5) Ps. 29:7,8,9,11,12. Job. 7:18. 7) Open 2:7. Chapter 10. About thanksgiving for the grace of God Why are you looking for peace when you were born to work? Equip yourself for patience more than for consolation, for bearing the cross more than for joy. And who among the worldly people would not want to accept spiritual consolation and joy when they could always have it? Spiritual consolation is superior to any worldly joy, any carnal pleasure. All worldly joys are either unworthy or vain: - some spiritual joys are pleasant and honest, come from virtues and flow from God into pure souls. But no one can always taste this divine consolation at will, for the time of temptation is not interrupted. False freedom of spirit and great self-confidence greatly counteract the heavenly visitation. God does good by giving the grace of consolation, but man does not do good by not hastening to give thanks to God for everything. And this is why the gifts of grace do not flow into us in a torrent, because we are ungrateful to the Author of the gifts and do not turn all our waters to the original source, for grace is always given to those who worthily thank or understand the good. What is given to the humble is taken away from the arrogant. I don’t want consolation, if it would take away my heartfelt contrition, and I don’t want contemplation, if it would lead me to pride. Not everything that is high is holy, not every desire is pure, not every good is sweet, and not everything that pleases us is pleasing to God. I will accept grace with love, so that from it more humility and fear of God will appear in me, and the readiness to leave myself will be more confirmed. He who has been taught the gift of grace and punished by its deprivation does not dare to attribute anything good to himself; on the contrary, he recognizes himself as poor and naked of everything. Give back to God what is God's and attribute to yourself what is yours. This means: give thanks to God for grace, and impute guilt to yourself alone; ascribe to yourself only the punishment worthy of guilt. Always sit in the lower place, and a higher place will be given to you; for the higher does not exist without the lower. The supreme saints of God are small in front of themselves, and the more glorified they are, the more humble they are in themselves. Those filled with righteousness and heavenly glory do not seek vain glory; having their foundation and confirmation in God, they cannot in any way be exalted. They attribute everything to God, and because no matter what good they receive, they do not seek glory from each other, but they want glory from God; above all they desire that God may be glorified in them and in all the saints, and they always strive for Him in spirit. Be grateful for little things, and you will become worthy of receiving more. Let you have the smallest instead of the much, and the invisible instead of a special gift. If you look at the dignity of the giver, not a single gift will seem small or insignificant, for what is given from the Great God is not small. Even if He sends execution and torture, it should be pleasant: everything that He allows to happen to us, He always arranges for our salvation. Whoever wants to retain the grace of God within himself, let him be grateful for grace when it is given, patient when it is taken away; let him pray that she will return; let him look after himself and humble himself so as not to lose her. 3) Matt. 22:21. 4) Luke. 14:10. In. 5:44. Chapter 11. About the small number of lovers of the cross Jesus has many lovers of His heavenly kingdom, but few bearers of His cross. He has many seekers of consolation, but few seekers of suffering. There are many who take part in the meal, and few who take part in abstinence. Everyone wants to rejoice with Christ, but not many want to endure anything for Him. Many will follow Jesus even to the breaking of bread, and few to the point of drinking the cup of suffering. Many honor His miracles and few follow the reproach of the cross. Many love Jesus until they meet with disaster. Many praise Him and bless Him while they receive anything from Him for consolation; and as soon as Jesus disappears and leaves them for a short time, they either fall into murmuring or into excessive despair. But those who love Jesus for Jesus’ sake, and not for the sake of any consolation of their own, love and bless Him both in confusion and in heartbreak, just as in the greatest consolation. And if He had wanted to not give them any consolation at all, then they would have praised Him and would always have wanted to thank Him. Oh, how much pure love for Jesus can do, without any admixture of self-interest or pride! Shouldn't everyone who always seeks consolation be considered mercenaries? And those who always think about their own good or their own benefit - do they really show love for Jesus in themselves, and not selfishness? Where is there such a person who would want to serve God selflessly? It is difficult to find such a spiritual person who would strip himself of everything. And where is one truly poor in spirit who would renounce all creation? Such a person is far away and his price is far from the extreme countries of the world. If a person gives up his entire being, there is nothing; and if he does great repentance, there is still little; and if he has all knowledge, there is still a long way to go; and even if he receives great virtue and the most ardent reverence, he still lacks much. There is one thing that he needs above all else. What is it? So that, having left everything, he would abandon himself, completely lose his temper and not retain any of his own love within himself. Even if he had fulfilled everything that he considered it his duty to do, he would feel within himself that he had accomplished nothing. Let him not consider it great that they can honor him as great, but truly, let him recognize himself as an inexcusable slave. This is what the truth says: when you have done all that is commanded you, say, for we are unbreakable servants. Then he can become truly poor and poor in spirit, and with the prophet he can say: “I am the only begotten and poor.” The richest of all in the world, the freest of all, the most powerful of all is the one who knew how to leave himself and everything behind, and to place himself lower than everyone else. 5) Luke. 17:10. Ps. 24:16. Chapter 12. About the royal path of the holy cross This word will seem cruel to many: deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus. But it will be much more terrible to hear such a last word: go from Me, cursed, into eternal fire. And those who now willingly heed the word of the cross and follow, those on that day will not be afraid that they will hear eternal condemnation. And the sign of the cross will appear in heaven when the Lord comes to judgment. Then all the servants of the cross, all who in life were conformed to the crucified one, will approach the judge Christ with great hope. Why are you afraid to take up the cross, when through the cross you enter the kingdom of heaven? In the cross there is salvation, in the cross there is life, in the cross there is protection from enemies, in the cross there is an outpouring of heavenly sweetness, in the cross there is strengthening of thought, in the cross there is spiritual joy, in the cross there is supreme virtue, in the cross there is the fulfillment of holiness. Apart from the cross there is no salvation for the soul, there is no hope for eternal life. Take up your cross and follow Jesus, and you will enter eternal life. He went before you and bore His cross and died on the cross for you, so that you too would bear your cross and would want to die on the cross: if you die with Him on the cross, you will also live with Him, and, having been an accomplice in execution, you will also be His accomplice in glory. Thus, everything consists in the cross and everything consists in death: there is no other path to life and to true and inner peace except the path of the holy cross and daily mortification. Go wherever you want, look for anything, and you will not find a higher path above, or a safer path below, than the path of the holy cross. Arrange and arrange everything as you want and as it seems to you: you will find nothing except that you must always suffer in something, either willy-nilly or involuntarily. And so you will find a cross everywhere: either you will feel bodily illness, or you will suffer confusion of spirit in your soul. Sometimes you will be abandoned by God, sometimes you will be embarrassed by your neighbor, and moreover, you will often be a burden to yourself. And with all this, you will have neither the means to free yourself nor the consolation to relieve yourself; but you will have to endure as long as God pleases. For God wants you to learn to endure sorrow without consolation, and to completely submit yourself to Him, and to become more humble from sorrow. Only he will heartily feel the suffering of Christ who happens to suffer like Christ. So, the cross is always ready and awaits you everywhere. Wherever you run from it, you cannot avoid it, because wherever you go, you carry yourself everywhere with you, and you will always find yourself. Whether you turn to what is above, or to what is below, or to what is internal, you will find a cross in all of it, and everywhere you will need to maintain patience if you want to have inner peace and earn an eternal crown. If you carry the cross with love, it will carry you and lead you to the desired end, that is, to where there will be an end to suffering: but here there is no end to it. If you bear it reluctantly, you create a burden for yourself and burden yourself more, but you still have to endure it. If you reject one cross, you will certainly find another, and it may be even harder. Do you think you can avoid something that no mortal could avoid? Which saint lived in the world without a cross and without sorrow? For our Lord Jesus Christ, while he lived, was not for a single hour without the sorrow of suffering: this was fitting for Christ to suffer and rise from the dead and enter into His glory. And how can you look for another path other than this royal path, the path of the holy cross! The whole life of Christ was the cross and martyrdom; Are you looking for peace and joy for yourself? You are deceived, deceived, when you look for something else, so as not to endure sorrow, for this entire mortal life is full of disasters and is surrounded by crosses, and often, the more successfully someone has risen to spiritual heights, the harder the cross falls to him, because with the increase of love, the sorrow of exile also increases. However, with such an increase in sorrows, in order to relieve them, a person is not left without consolation, because he also feels a great increase in fruit from the patience of the cross. When he submits to the cross of his own free will, then all the time of sorrow turns into strong hope for divine consolation. And the more the flesh is exhausted by grief, the more the spirit is strengthened by inner consolation. And sometimes he is so strengthened by the feeling of sorrow and calamity that he so loves to conform to the cross of Christ that he does not want to be without illness and sorrow, for the more sorrows and hardships he has endured for God’s sake, the more pleasing to God he becomes. This is not a human virtue; but the grace of Christ is so powerful and effective in mortal flesh that in the fervor of the spirit it accepts and loves what by nature it always horrifies and avoids. It is not typical for a person to wear a cross, to love a cross, to tame and enslave the body, to avoid honors, to willingly endure insults, to despise oneself and desire to be despised, to endure every calamity with ruin and not to desire any well-being in this world. When you look at yourself, you cannot do anything like this on your own; but if you trust in the Lord, strength will be sent to you from heaven, and the world and the flesh will submit to your power. And you will not be afraid of the enemy the devil himself if you are armed with faith and marked by the cross of Jesus. So, define yourself as a good and faithful servant of Christ, in the spirit of courage to bear the cross, on which your Lord of love was crucified for you. Get ready to endure many troubles and all sorts of hardships in this miserable life, for all this will happen to you everywhere, and wherever you take refuge, everywhere you will truly find a cross. This is how it should be and you must bear with yourself; There is no other way to get rid of embarrassment in troubles and sorrows. Drink the cup of the Lord with love if you want to be His friend and have a part with Him. Leave consolation to God: He Himself will provide consolation, whatever is best for you. And you position yourself to endure adversity, and consider them as the greatest consolation; for the sufferings of this age, even though you could bear it all alone, are not worthy of earning you the future glory that will be revealed in us. When you reach the point where adversity is sweet and pleasing to you in Christ, then consider yourself happy: you have found heaven on earth. While suffering is still heavy for you and you are trying to escape it, you will consider yourself unhappy, and confusion from grief will follow you everywhere. If you dispose yourself to what you should, that is, to suffering and death, you will immediately feel better and you will find peace for yourself. If only you had been caught up to the third heaven with Paul, then you would still not be safe from all troubles. “Show him,” says Jesus, “how much more it is fitting for him to suffer for My name.” So, it remains for you to suffer if you want to love God and continually serve Him. Oh, that you would be worthy to suffer anything in the name of Jesus! What glory would rest upon you, what a triumph would be for all the saints of God, what edification to your neighbor! For patience is praised by all, although few desire to suffer. It is worthy for you to suffer little for Christ, when others suffer so much for the world. Know for sure that you must lead your life like a dying person. The more a person dies to himself, the more perfectly he begins to live for God. No one can be able to understand heavenly things unless he submits himself to endure disasters for Christ's sake. The most pleasing thing to God, the most salutary thing for you in this life is to suffer with love for the sake of Christ. And if it were given to you to choose, it would be better for you to suffer misfortune for the sake of Christ than to enjoy many joys: for then you would be more like Christ, and you would be more in tune with all the saints. It is not through a multitude of sweets and pleasures that our dignity will be established and our condition will be perfected, but also through great patience in the midst of adversity. And when there was something better and more salutary for people than suffering, it is true that Christ would have shown it by His word and example. And the disciples who are coming after Him, and everyone who wants to follow Him, He clearly calls on them to bear the cross, saying: “If anyone wants to walk after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and come after Me.” So, having read everything and examined everything, let us draw the following final conclusion from everything: that through many sorrows it is fitting for us to enter into the kingdom of God. Amen. 1) Matt. 16:24. 25:41. 6) Lk. 24:26, 46. 10) Rom. 8:18, 12) Acts. 9:16. 15) Lk. 9:23. Acts 14:21. You might be interested in: