Слово 86

(1) A soulful story about one novice who received the Holy Spirit through the prayers of his spiritual father. – (2) About the actions of the Holy Spirit and the contemplation of His mysteries. 1. One young man told me that he was a novice of a reverent old man, equal in virtues to the great saints, and, hearing how he often said that for those who strive, divine insights and abundance of light come from above, in which state God’s conversation with people occurs, he was surprised at this, and so, he told me, I had a desire to receive such good for myself that from the thirst for it I forgot everything, and earthly and heavenly - he forgot food and drink, and all bodily rest. My elder, being a great saint, also had the gift of clairvoyance, and, seeing that I carried out all his commands without thinking, yet did not eat or drink, but was completely immersed in his thoughts, he ordered me to eat, because he had great and immeasurable compassion and compassion for me. I ate, and reluctantly, for I was afraid of the sin of disobedience. But as much as I ate, the flame inside me flared up. I could not bear the violence that the elder did to me; Tears flowed from me like a river, and, crying like this, I often jumped up from the meal, thinking, out of little thought, that he was putting obstacles in my good aspiration, not knowing what excessive pain and burden I carry in my heart. One day we went to the city near which he lived to visit his spiritual children and stayed there the whole day. In the evening we returned to our cell, greedy and thirsty from much work and heat, for the elder did not have the custom of eating or resting anywhere; It was summer then, and the old man was about sixty years old. When we sat down at the table, I didn’t eat, because I was very tired and thought that if I eat and drink, I won’t be able to go to prayer and ask for what I want with my usual fervor. So I thought and sat there, as if beside myself. Then my saint, looking at me and, by the gift of insight, knowing the reason why I did not eat and what thoughts were occupying my head, took pity on me and said: eat, child, and drink, and from now on leave all sorrow, because if God did not want to show you mercy, then He would not have deigned to bring you to me. So we ate and drank more than enough; He also ate, tolerating my exhaustion. When we then put away the meal, he said to me: know, child, that God does not greatly favor either fasting, or vigil, or any other bodily labor, or any other good deed, and does not reveal Himself to anyone else except a humble, inquisitive and good soul and heart. Hearing this, I was surprised by the word and instruction of the saint, and, burning with a strong inner fire and bringing all my sins to mind in the blink of an eye, I was bathed in tears flowing from my eyes, and, falling at the feet of the saint and hugging them, I said: Pray for me, Holy One of God, that I may find mercy through your intercession, since of those good dispositions that you spoke about, I have not one, and nothing good, except only my many sins, which you also know. At this, my saint showed me such strong condolences that he himself began to cry, and, ordering me to rise from the ground, he said: “I have faith that God, who has shown such rich mercies to me, will also grant you deep grace, for the sake of your faith alone, which you have towards Him - God, and towards me, the last and worst.” I accepted this word as if I had heard it from God Himself, and, thinking about the special grace that Elisha received through the prophet Elijah, I believed that, although I was unworthy, the man-loving God would soon do the will of those who fear Him, and, bowing and asking for prayer, I went to my cell. When letting me go, the elder gave me a commandment - to read only the Trisagion at night and lie down. 2. Having entered where I used to pray, and beginning: Holy God, - and remembering the word of the holy elder, I suddenly began to cry, and I came into such tears, and into such a flame for God that I cannot express it in words, nor the joy and sweet consolation that was then in me. Then falling face down to the ground, I saw something wonderful, for behold, a great light mentally shone within me and took my whole mind and soul to itself. I was amazed at such a sudden miracle and became as if beside myself, forgetting the place in which I stood, and what I was, and where I was - I only cried out: Lord have mercy, as I guessed when I came to my senses. However, my father, who it was who spoke in me and set my tongue in motion, I don’t know, God knows, and I don’t know how I united with that light, whether I was in the body or outside the body. This is known by the same light that expelled from my soul all darkness and all earthly wisdom, took away from me all the materiality and heaviness of the body and caused great relaxation and exhaustion in my members. This exhaustion and relaxation of my limbs and nerves was so strong from extreme tension that it seemed to me as if I were laying aside the burden of decay. In my soul, he produced great joy, an intelligent feeling and sweetness, higher than any sensual sweetness. Moreover, he gave me wonderful freedom and oblivion of all the thoughts in the world, and discovered the very way of leaving this life, because all the feelings of my mind and soul were then attached to one indescribable joy and joy from the other world. “But when that immeasurable light that appeared to me little by little diminished and finally became completely invisible, then I came to my senses and realized what marvels the power of that light had suddenly produced in me. Why, having experienced his removal and seeing that he again left me alone in this life, I was so saddened and my soul was so pained that I cannot properly express to you the great sorrow that then kindled like fire in my soul. If you can, my father, imagine for yourself the pain of that separation, and the height of that great good deed, and the immeasurable love that was shown to me and kindled in me, but I cannot speak with my tongue or with my mind understand the immensity of that vision. I told him: no, all-honorable father and brother! Describe to me the actions of the light that appeared to you. And he, sweet, filled with the Holy Spirit and worthy of such a vision, answered me in the meekest and most mellifluous voice: O Father! This light, when it appears, cheers, and when it hides, it leaves a wound and illness in the heart. Coming or descending on me, he takes me to heaven, clothing me with light. He appears to me like a certain star, and is inconceivable for all creation; shines like the sun, and I understand how all creation is held together by its power. He shows me everything that is in creation - and commands me not to go beyond the limits of human nature. The roof and walls enclose me, and he opens the heavens to me. I lift my sensual eyes to see what is in heaven, and I see that everything is there just as it was before. I am surprised at this - and I hear a voice from above, mysteriously telling me: “What you see now is a mysterious pre-image of future blessings, which, just as they are, you will not see while you are wearing flesh. “But return to yourself and be careful not to do anything that could deprive you of the benefits that you have been honored to receive.” If you ever sin, as a lesson in humility, take care not to run away from repentance, because repentance, together with my love for mankind, blots out both past and present sins.” Hearing such words of his young man, I almost became beside myself and trembled all over, thinking to what height of contemplation and knowledge he had risen from the love and faith alone that he had for his spiritual father - and how great benefits he was honored to see and receive at the very beginning, as if putting aside all human weakness and becoming an angel from a man. Why, I ask you, my brothers, let us also cast away from ourselves all predilections and concerns regarding what concerns real life; let us hate carnal pleasures, the fertilization of the body, its peace and inactive bliss, for the reason of which the body usually rebels against the soul, - we will have pure faith in God and in our fathers and teachers, who are according to God, - we will acquire a contrite heart and humble wisdom of the soul, - we will cleanse our hearts from all impurity and from all defilement of sin with tears of repentance - so that we too may be able to achieve once to the full measure of Christian perfection, so that we will see and perceive in this life the ineffable blessings of the divine light, although not completely, but as much as we can accommodate, according to the degree of our purification. For in this way we will be united with God and God with us, and we will become light and salt for our neighbors, for all their spiritual benefit, in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. You might be interested in: