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(1) How should one look after oneself and delve into one’s condition, and how should one compare one’s deeds with the commandments of Christ the Lord? 1. As I promised to tell you how you should look after yourself, I now want to fulfill this duty, considering myself obligated to always provide your love with certain food of words. Looking after yourself means delving into yourself, talking to yourself something like this: do I have any passion, big or small, and I don’t even think about it? For, as I hear in the Divine Scriptures, if anyone has even one passion, he will not enter the kingdom of God. This is what the holy Apostle James says: if he keeps the whole law, he will sin in one thing and be guilty of all (James 2:10). Maybe I have ever neglected this or that commandment, or am I now neglecting that one and neglecting to fulfill this one? And Christ the Lord says: If anyone destroys these little commandments and teaches men this way, he will be called in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 5:19). Also, when someone reads or listens to the Divine Scripture, let him think about himself and with the help of it, like a spiritual mirror, carefully examine his soul, whether it contains what the Scripture says. So, let's say for example, hearing that Christ the Lord says: repent, for the kingdom of heaven is drawing near (Matthew 4:17), let him definitely find out whether he has sincerely repented and whether he always preserves repentant feelings? And when encountering various accidents, let him observe what is happening in his soul, and through this determine what it is like. So, for example, by observing what happens in his soul when they scold him or dishonor him, or otherwise show him contempt, he truly knows whether there is humility in him or not. For he who has humility endures all sorrowful things with joy, and his heart is not in the least hurt by anything like that. He is also humble who, although he is slightly wounded by this, does not allow himself to be embarrassed, and for this small feeling of wounding of the heart by an insult, that is, that he was a little saddened, and did not accept what happened with joy, condemns himself and reproaches, and, having entered his cell and reasoning with himself, he laments and cries, and, falling to God, confesses to Him as if he had ruined all his labors. Then again, when he hears: blessed are the weeping (and judge, please, I did not say: weeping, but weeping, that is, those who always, every day and every hour cry), he must think whether he cries every day, for if he is humbled by the action of repentance, then of course he will not let a single day or a single night pass without tears, weeping and contrition. Let him do the same, and hearing: Blessed are the meek. And who can shed tears and cry every day - and remain angry, and not be meek and quiet? For just as a fiery flame is extinguished by water, so the anger of the soul is extinguished by crying and tears, and if someone spends a long time crying, then the irritability of the soul comes to a complete stillness - and the soul is then no longer angry at all. Therefore, everyone should examine himself from this side to see if he is truly meek. A truly meek person cannot tolerate the transgression of God’s commandments in any person, but even at the same time he cries for those who transgress these commandments and sin, and just as sincerely, as if he himself had sinned. Again, let him test himself to see whether he hungers and thirsts for the truth of God. For one who seeks God cannot help but hunger and thirst for righteousness, since righteousness is God, who, as you hear, is called the Sun of righteousness. So, he who hungers and thirsts for righteousness hungers and thirsts for God, that is, he desires Him alone and burns with love for Him alone; yet he counts everything else, the world and everything in the world, as a matter of understanding (Phil. 3:8), and considers human honor and praise as if ashamed, not taking them into account and not feeling them at all. Also hearing: bliss of mercy, let him test whether he is merciful. But who are the merciful ones? Are they the ones who give money to the poor and feed them? No, this is not the only thing that makes one merciful; It is necessary that there be mercy of the heart with this. And those merciful ones who became poor out of love for Christ, who became poor for our sake, and do not have anything to give to the poor, but, remembering the poor, widows, orphans and the sick, and often seeing them, are consumed with pity for them and weep, like Job, who says about himself: I wept for everyone who is weak (Job 30:25). When they have something, they help those in need with sincere cordiality, and when they do not have it, they give them all-convincing instructions about what contributes to the salvation of the soul, obeying the word of the one who said: I teach without flattery, without envy (Wisdom 7:13). Such are the truly merciful, blessed by the Lord Jesus Christ. With such mercy they ascend, like a ladder, to perfect spiritual purity. Why did our Lord, following the blessing of mercy, say: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. For, as our God and Lawgiver, He knows that if the soul does not come into such a mood, that is, does not become merciful, as we said, does not always cry, does not become completely meek, does not thirst for God, then it cannot get rid of passions and become pure, like a pure mirror. But if she does not become like this, then she will never see the face of our Master and God purely within herself. The same soul that becomes pure sees God at all times and becomes friends with Him, and then there is peace between our Creator God and that soul, whereas before it was hostile to Him. Why after this she is pleased by God, as a peacemaker. Blessed are the peacemakers, for these shall be called sons of God. That is, blessed are those who consciously became friends with Christ, who came to give peace to those far and near, that is, to the righteous and the sinful, to reconcile us, His enemies, with His Father, and to unite together what was divided among ourselves - for which purpose He took on our human flesh, in order to teach us the Holy Spirit. So it is clear that those who see God have become friends with Him, achieved the desired peace and become sons of God. So look, have you become friends with God? - You became friends if you love your brother, and you did not become friends if you do not love your brother. For if you do not love the brother whom you see, how can you love God whom you do not see? If you cannot love God, it is obvious that you have not yet become friends with Him. Why, my brethren, do we strive with all our strength to see God, to become friends with Him and to love Him wholeheartedly, as He commanded. Finally hearing: it is blessed to be driven out for righteousness’ sake, he who examines himself looks to see whether he has suffered any persecution for the commandment of God, since, according to the Apostle, all who want to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted (2 Tim. 3:12). Our Lord says further: blessed are you when people revile you, and destroy you, and say all sorts of evil things against you who lie, for my sake. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is abundant in heaven. Why then, after all, did He put down the persecuted and reviled and authoritatively command them, saying: Rejoice and be glad? For the sake of this, that only the one who shows repentance worthy of his sins, and from repentance becomes humble (I will repeat the same thing again), cries every day, is meek, hungers and thirsts for the Sun of Truth with all his soul, is merciful and compassionate to the point that he considers all the suffering, sorrows and illnesses of others as his own, is cleansed by crying and sees God, makes friends with Him, is truly a peacemaker and deserves to be called the son of God - only the one who becomes such can, even when he is persecuted, beaten, reviled, slandered and hears every evil word about himself, endure all this with joy and inexpressible joy. Knowing this, our Lord and God blessed the persecuted after all and so decisively said to them: rejoice and be glad. Whoever does not become such, cannot really bear all this? No, it can't. So, my brethren, let us continually test and examine ourselves with all attention and diligence every day and every hour, if possible, and, bringing to mind the commandments one after another, examine and discuss ourselves for each of them. If we find that we have fulfilled one, we will thank the Lord our God and try to observe it in the future. If it turns out that we have not fulfilled one, let us repent of it and strive to fulfill it, lest otherwise, having despised it, we will not be called lesser in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 5:19). If in this way we begin to ascend little by little from one commandment to another, as if on a ladder, then we will probably reach the very last limits of Christian perfection, to the very gates of heaven, where Christ our Lord, having met us, will say to us: come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). When we achieve this and see the Lord, as much as it is possible for a person to see Him, and receive from Him the kingdom of heaven, which is the Holy Spirit, then we will always have Him within us, as He Himself said, and we will finish our lives in this age, as the Angels of God, or, better said, as the sons of God. What sweetest good may we all be honored with the grace and favor of God, worshiped in the Trinity; to Him be glory now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen. You might be interested in: